Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Yoshi-324-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: December 30, 2015

This is our final gift to you in the year 2015, a visit from beloved guest, world prostitute chaser and medical lab rat, YOSHI! As always, no written word can prepare or describe what Yoshi bring to the table. Put in your ear buds, crank the volume and enjoy this one.  Thanks for a great 2015, MOMMIES!

Can you tell by my voice? I have a cold. It's the worst. My wife hates me for having a cold. I hate the world for having a cold. Fuck all colds. We continue in the practice of me doing this while wife and baby are at home. Everything is well with them. We still got some banked shows to do. This week is New Year's. If you're around Orange County in that area, I'm at Brea Improv in Brea, California, all weekend long. Two shows on the 31st. One on the 1st, two on the 2nd, and one on the 3rd, all weekend at the Brea Improv in Brea, California. A couple weeks from now, oh shit, whatever. January 13, 14, 15, 16, downtown Denver Comedy Works. Pretty stoked to be doing that. That is absolutely

one of the best clubs in the country, one of my favorite places to go. Flappers, everyone always asks me about doing shows in Los Angeles. I'm doing four shows in Burbank, Flappers Comedy Club, January 22nd and 23rd. Salt Lake Titties, Wise Guys, February 5th and 6th. Tickets are all on sale, so make sure you scoop them up now. I think that's that. What else is there to say? Oh yeah, this is the first time I've been able to announce it really. They gave me permission, finally. Some of you know from Twitter and Facebook, et cetera, for the rest of you. Chips in a ball, man. I can finally tell you, my new one hour special, mostly stories will start streaming on Netflix January 8th. You heard it here. January 8th,

it's available worldwide. I know some people have hit me up and asked why they can't see completely normal in certain countries on Netflix because of the licensing deal. It was only available to a few countries, but this new one, mostly stories, will be available in every country that has Netflix. It's a worldwide release. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you check it out and give it five stars, man. You know how it is. I am really thrilled about it, so I couldn't be happier that it's coming out in just a couple weeks. This is our episode that we recorded a few weeks ago with our good friend Yoshi. Yoshi's back in the building. It was so fun to have him here. It was never a dull moment with Yoshi. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you have a great

new year and we'll see you soon. Bye, Jeans. This is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. This is recording. Yeah, we're good. All right. Wow. Wow. I can't believe you're here. It's, uh, I don't think that no one even knows yet. It's kind of probably give them a proper introduction. Yoshi. Yoshi. Welcome to the Mommy Dome. Welcome. Thanks for coming today, buddy. Thanks, guys. It's been too long. Love doing your show. Yeah, we love having you. Believe me. We gave you a chair. I know you're accustomed to sitting on tatami mats, but we thought you might want a chair. This is perfect. It's worth taking

three hours to get here from Russell Peters Place in Malibu. Three different buses. Jesus. You took buses? Yeah, but listen to that whole sentence from Russell Peters' Malibu pad, which it's gorgeous. It's just shocking that somebody that stand up lived there, you know. Yeah. And is that where he's at right now? Yeah. It must be nice to be talented. Man. Talented and brown and everything, man. But thanks for having, uh, I'm here. This is absolutely one of my favorite ones. And your fans are unbelievable. They're very, very kind. Yeah. I agree. Of course. Very nice of you to invite me to Thanksgiving weekend. Of course. We celebrate the genocide of a Native American.

You are our stomach with our food. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am very happy to be here. It's been a long time now. We actually tried to get you a couple weeks ago, but you were. Oh, really? Well, yeah. Well, when we said this up, you were unavailable until what was it today or this week, because you were, you were doing some medical, I mean, then I talked about medical officer stuff before. You did talk about medical testing, but I'd like to get, if it's possible, an update as to what your latest one was. This one is Parkinson. I don't want to, I can't, I really don't want to talk about which company I work for. There's like a bunch of in Southern California, but

this is a really easy one. It's just, you know, you can't leave for 10 days. You, you're off for three or four days. You go back for another 10 and, you know, you make 80, 500 bucks. What do you do there all day? Depends on the second day before last day you leave. It's a really long day. You literally have to lay flat on the bed all day. Why? They do this thing called extraction where you have to lay really, it's called supine where you lay flat on the bed. They put this machine out of your body. You can't take it off for 24 hours and you have to completely stay still. Still? Yes. For like, they record your heart rate for five minutes. They want to know what was your heart rates before you're taking the medication

and after you're taking the medication to check your heart rate to see the difference. And the one I'm doing is Parkinson and those days are really, really long day. Do they let you look at anything when you're laying flat? I mean, can you watch something? There's another weird thing. They want you to lay flat, but you cannot go to sleep. Oh, this is horrible. And you have to look straight and then like, and you know, usually with my eyes, I could kind of fake sleeping. They can't tell if I'm sleeping or not. That's why Asian everybody think Asians are good workers, but we sneaks nap. And then somebody goes, are you sleeping? Oh, because my eyes look like that. I'm not sleeping, sir. But you can't get away with that. So when you stare at the ceiling all day?

Yeah. And they stand hover over you make sure you don't go to sleep. Wait, but to further that question again, though, are you allowed to watch anything? Now when you're doing that, I mean, your hands have to be right next to you straight. And there's no screen you can stare at. No, you're just looking at the ceiling. Oh, for fuck's sake. One time I'm obey. What are they doing? Terrible, man. Now is this I'd notice you you got water and is this a side effect of medication right now? I mean being thirsty. Yeah. No, but I have to drink a lot of water because that way I could have suppressed appetite. I gotta watch my weight too. Really? Yeah. Also that you stay healthy to be available. Because, you know, last year when I was doing it, I got a phone call

like, Hey, we have another study, but you have to be BMI of 24.99. In other words, I have to be 184.9 or less. And what were you waiting? What were you waiting for? When they call me that one? Yeah. I was 208. So within I think I lost 26 pounds in 25 days. So I lost 25 pounds in 26 days or whatever. And I know I could do it, but it's it's it's horrifying because I'm walking between 15 to 18 miles basically from Santa Monica to Malibu to Russell's place. And you cut down eating. And it was during the Thanksgiving last year, you know, I was hanging out with my friend Ernie and Chris, and they'll be passing food in front of me, but you can't eat. And LA is a terrible place because to walk every other block, you see homeless person or junk food restaurants, right?

And it's just like, it's I'm really addicted to sugar and salt, like most Americans. Like I'm the same way. I'm the same way. I find that the bigger challenge is sugar. Sugar, I think is worse for you. It definitely contributes to weight more, but it's also more addictive. Yeah. Yeah, sugar is pretty tough one, man. So wait, when you're doing this, this weight cutting stuff, like walking all those miles, is your stomach growling throughout this, like these long ones? I mean, I do kind of cheat. For me, drinking a lot of water and coffee really suppress appetite, but it is hard. And like first couple days going in, like I did one like 28 days, I think my hands are shaking because I don't have caffeine and sugar. Right. But are you eating nothing?

You know, like sometimes some of the medical places are religious oriented. And those are fucking nightmare because they believe that you shouldn't take pleasure in food. So less salt and sugar, right? It's not even necessary that these pharmaceutical medical testing place, some of these farmers, because sometimes these medical places rent rooms in hospitals. And those hospitals will not allow certain kinds of food to go to that hospital. A succulent Chinese, you're so good. So, you know, like it's funny, like if you see, if you think there's a bunch of guys in the medical facility for like 20 plus days, you would think guys were talking about women all the time. No, eventually it's food. Like we all like, you start, I mean, I'm surfing for like

things I want to eat when I get out of the thing. You know, like I knew something was wrong when I cut myself drawing pictures of food on my piece of paper. Now I'm like tits or anything like that, you know, just food. Yeah. So when you get out, do you go on a huge binge? I mean, the worst one was last year. I think I gained like 11 pounds and like first day or something. First day. What did you, what do you eat? What's the first thing you want when you get out of something? I eat the ass and pussy all the time. I got nothing. I can't even do it when you get out. You can't even think about women and stuff. It's food. Yeah. I remember being, it's not exactly the same, but being, have like food poisoning, you know, and being in bed for a few days and not eating. And

once you get to like that third day of not eating when it's really bad, the dreams are all food related. Like you don't fantasize about anything, but oh man, what am I going to eat when I feel better? What do you like though? Pizza, burger? What's your, what's your? I don't know why, but I always think about eating out burger. It's so good. So good. And the place I'm staying right now is right when I go block away. So like that's like the, you know, but I've been pretty good even the first night. It's not that I want to gain weight. I'm just worried about next studies. I don't really want to go a torture losing way. So I'm trying to smart control better, but it's not that easy, you know, but relatively speaking, this study, it's pretty good. And what I've been doing is

I've read a lot of stuff about, you know, history of medical testing and some of it is pretty horrendous. And they had this study. Did I tell you that one? Hey, I don't know why they did this. Did I tell you guys that they, one experiment they put retarded people in freezer? Did I tell you that one? Yes. Yes. You mentioned this. Okay. It sounds familiar. So I know you mentioned it before. You know, Japanese, they had all kinds of horrible stuff and during World War II and Germans too. And we did too. But I've been doing this a couple of years. I have to say, I really do have a lot of respectful people, medical feel. I mean, it's a pretty honorable profession. Sure. And I think for most part, except for the one place that ripped me off, I think they really want to find cure

for too many of these problems, you know. So this last one you did is a Parkinson's you were taking, were you taking pills every day or getting injections? Yeah, just about every day they take your blood. They, you know, they do your vitals. They want to know, you know, they hook you up in EKG and figure out your blood pressures and your heart rates and things like that. And what I like about it is like, I've been, I've been learning a lot about medical stuff last couple of years. Sure. So I have a lot of questions and most of the guys, they don't really give a shit. And I was kind of like that too, but I get really bored. So I have to keep, I have to do something mentally occupying. So what do you like, do you spend, I'm curious about this too. Do you spend,

let's say, a free time? Do you get to read? Can I read shitload of magazines and books? I've been working a couple of things. And so it's nice to have a free time to do that, getting paid. Okay. Did you say there was another test that you were getting spinal injections? So that one, that was the horrendous one. That was the one before that. That was August, September and first week October. Staying in a facility? It's the same place. Okay. This one. So the reason I picked this one, there was a two studies available, right? And I qualified for the both of the studies. Now I picked the one with the spinal cord injection because I thought it's funny. I thought it was funny to get a shot in your spinal cord.

And because I, I like every time I read those documents, keywords like sudden death or something horrible that could happen to you. I kind of prefer those over the regular one because you get paid more. But other one was easier and it's five grand and the one I did was 7,500. But the funny thing was the people who did the easier one within a couple of days, they had orange spots everywhere in their body, their face, legs and stuff. So something really went wrong. Yeah. They eventually stopped and add insult to injury. They got deducted a thousand dollars because they can continue to study. You would think they're agonizing pain and their face looked like Denver Bronco uniform. That's so fucked up that it doesn't go well. So they

have to discontinue and then they get pay docked. Yes. That's crazy. Well, I noticed that you've got a bit of a cough now. Do you think that could be a side effect? I've always had cough from when I was, you know, radiation. So third day of going in, they're ready to get spinal cord thing, right? Oh my God. And like, all right, so I'm room away with this guy. He's first. I'm the second guy to get it. Jesus. So it's 545 a.m. a doctor comes in, right? So first he make that guy, I'm kind of watching peripheral vision. So I'm watching him. So he make the guy sit in the edge of the bed with his t-shirt up, kind of bent over. Why? Because you have a spinal cord, right? So when you bend, they'll find the gap between all the bones. So he's

going to find wherever you have the biggest gap between the two bones. Then he'll put this big red circle around it. Then round the spot you're going to put the needle. He'll put four or five different novocaine shots around or something similar to novocaine to numb the area, right? Oh my God. Then I kind of look peripheral vision. Yeah. And the nurse brought this big-ass needle. She's kind of clicking where you see a little bit of liquid coming down. It's a big-ass fucking needle, right? And the doctor goes, you know, it's like, it won't hurt, whatever, right? So, okay, I'm going to go in. So he do it, right? And I think like, oh, it's just a needle I've bent before. And the guy getting the needle, he goes,

like that, right? He's like 40 years old. He's not a kid. I don't want to fucking hear that, you know, 545, 6, 6 a.m. like, oh my God, this is, I don't want to, they told me it's not that painful, you know. There's a little bit of salesmanship like, oh my God, I can't look. And it goes like, okay, 15%, 20%, like, maybe two and a half minutes or three minutes of finding they're done, right? But like, he's gonna, he makes this noise for two minutes. Yeah. And like, oh my God. And weren't you scared? Were you scared when it was your turn? Yeah, but I mean, I, I needed the money to get passports. I could go Europe, prostitute, this and that, you know, like,

you have your priorities. I mean, did you have, did you even have a thought of like, I shouldn't fucking do this though? Like when that guy was like, maybe I could just run out of there. I really, yeah, of course. Of course. So what, how do you fight that instinct, Yoshi, of self-preservation? You think of those hoes, you gotta think of the hoes. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. Yeah. Well, I got bisectomy. So I thought it can be more painful than that. Is that painful? Oh my God, yeah. Wait, I thought that that's the whole thing they advertise is that, you know, they, it's the technology is so good. It's just, I got it like years ago, like 90. Oh, okay. So that's old. It is old. I thought it's an old story for me, but I guess I never

told you guys. So it's so my, my turn. So when you have epidural shot. Great. I'm about to get one. Can we ask you this real quick? Yeah. I want you to continue this for sure. But what is this testing for? This one was Alzheimer's. The spinal injection? Yeah. They want to know your level before taking the medication and afterwards. So they have to do spine, two spinal cord shots. Please. I'm going to give birth in two weeks. I don't need to hear this. And you have to lay flat because you get epidural shot headache. It's supposed to be bad. What was so funny after I got mine? I was the only kid that didn't have a headache because I always have fucking headaches. I couldn't tell the difference. I can tell the difference

because they say you got to lay flat and like the guy tried to get up, he got hit it. But I got up and I didn't have, I didn't feel, you know, so after the shot, I didn't feel anything. But so it was my turn and like did the same thing bent over, red circle, never can stop. And like, I didn't, I didn't really like it, but like, I don't fucking don't like it. It's like when my ex-girlfriend tried to put finger in my ass that it's like, I don't like it. But I think I have a higher threshold pain than that guy. That sounds like it. Thank you, sir. So the, but that wasn't the worst part for that study. It wasn't? No, the worst study, the worst part of that study is that medication may cause some retina damage. So we have to go see eye doctor. And there's

seven Asian people and two white, one black, one, one, one black, one white guy. Well, you mean working for the studies? Oh, for the study. Okay. Wow, a lot of Asians, huh? So, well, because Asians think we are the best at metabolizing medication, any other race. Really? So we get in our blood system quicker than anyone and we could get rid of it better than anyone. No way. I don't know that. How do white people fare? Like, where white people fall on that? You guys are pretty good, but we're so much faster than any other race. And even within the Asian people, like they had like maybe a bunch of people, but I'm always selected. Something about my blood is compatible for this job. I didn't know. You have super blood from all the hookers.

Oh, definitely. Oh, yeah. You probably fought. It's called HIV. I was going to say, you probably battled HIV. You've battled HIV. You've probably beaten it. So we get eye examination, right? Oh, no, man. There's seven or eight tests that we have to do. And they have to scan your eye. And do they have trouble getting in there or no? Like, do they have to pull? Well, they keep saying like, sir, you need to keep your eyes wide open. It is, sir. I'm Asian. I can't make it my eyes any bigger. So like, and they're getting so angry with me because the test they usually take half an hour, it takes about two hours and two and a half hours for me. No way. They're so mad. And like,

because every time they scan, they can't do it. And I keep my eyes wide as I can. It's just not good enough. So few times that this Armenian doctor, right, he had to literally come behind me, put two of his fingers, keep my eyes wide open like. So I was right. Like clockwork, Mandarin orange. Yes. Yes. And then and they're mad because why can't you keep your eyes wide? Well, first of all, you're Armenian. You guys use deodorant. It doesn't do shit. You smell like dog's asshole. We all have weakness, sir. So we fight every time I get examined. Like, every time they see me and out of the Asian group, I was always the worst one. So they fucking hate seeing. Oh my god, like, they have to keep redoing the test over and over.

There's one way you look at straight, the white light and have a clicker. And every time I see a red spot, I got to click it. But sometimes the red light is very faint. So I can't, is that really red? And sometimes I fail the test. So I have to keep doing I fucking pass the test. Another one is like the bright light, scan your eyes. Oh my god. And there's another one you see a blue cross. And you got to look at straight across where they had to have this bright light going up and down. Like, I'm having a hard time keeping it because it's so bright. And fuck, man, it's like I torture. But every time I go, they're like, Oh, they're there. They have this look like, Oh, my god, this motherfucker, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But I have to do it because

I won't get paid, you know. So you took longer than, than basically everybody to get through. I get there first and the last person go home and I still have to wait another 45 an hour. So did you have any retina damage? No, no. Okay. It happened when they, you know, like, like most studies, they do it on animal, but then some animals, they found the written damages, you know, well, let me ask you this, but about your vasectomy, is the most painful part, the actual procedure or afterwards, like recovery, man, that that the procedure hurt like a really? Yeah, because now it's supposed to be like laser incision and like some people even say like they could do one with water pressure. I know that I know a friend that had one done

and he said that he was talking to the doctor like about football game during it. Yeah. And then it was just like, you're all right, you can go, you're done. Yoshi had his at 95. That's the I think that's the big difference. I got three, four shots each testicles. And then he'll cut incision inside of the ball. And I don't know what's, I don't know what was, I don't know what's going on, but it's almost like cutting a really cheap meat that you bought. It's not like a Kobe beef going back and forth, right? And there's blood everywhere. And one moment, where did you get did you have one of the hookers do it? Or did you actually go to a doctor? I was working at company America. I was working at the company and they're ready to fall for bankruptcies. I know

I was getting fired. And my insurance was still good. And I was, I don't really want to go in detail, but there's a reason why I wanted to get it done. But I'm going to lose insurance, the mice will do this now. So I went and man, it hurt like a motherfucker and he was crying back and forth. And this is like, I did it after work. So like there's phone call, he leaves middle of the operation, go to the office, answer the phone. Like I'm there with like my dick open with blood everywhere. I did kind of laugh a second like, no, you didn't go to a good place. Then eventually he'll pull all this white thing got it there, clip it. And you know how the magician have the trick like out of the pocket, green, yellow, purple, whatever, lying. He's pulling all that

shit on my dick testicles, put everything together, put it back, and trying to close the cut with this little flare. And he's burning the side of my balls. And you literally smoked him out of my balls. That was my primitive vasectomy, which kind of is good for medical lab thing, because they're always worried about while taking this medication, I'm getting somebody pregnant. Well, that's not going to happen. Yeah, thankfully. So that's another reason I'm a good candidate. Everything you just described is so awful. Yeah. Happy holidays, ladies and gentlemen. Now let's get to you said, we can tell our listeners that you're going to be abroad soon. They could they could even come meet you somewhere.

Yeah. So, so I've been pretty lucky last four months. I did this two big studies made very lucky. A lot of money. So I was able to pay my tax, get my passport. And during this Friday the 13 couple weeks ago, attacking Paris, like I started trying booking a flight to Belgium and France and Morocco, because most of those problem in France and Belgium is Moroccan, you know, and I have no fear of brown people. I meant plenty of Moroccan people. 99.9% of our not a terrorist and I like those people. But and one of the things too is that you should find a great, I mean, it's one of the, you know, it's awful, obviously what happened. And the it affects tourism greatly. But then it also is cheap now. That's what I'm saying. It's a

great time to go to those places. Yeah, to get great deals. And so it was interesting to me that whenever there's been like a terrorist attack, I shouldn't be laughing, but they're always closed by a red light district. So I'll do my amateur detective terrorist shit like usual. But nighttime I go see hookers at night time. So that's, and that's half of the trip. Other half. I have, I think I have a show in Belfast, Dublin, Netherlands, and I think few shows in Stockholm. That's great. And how can people find out when and like, you know, I'm I'm still waiting for the response. But I don't have the dates yet. All right. But you will post them what on Twitter? Probably Twitter and Facebook. Yeah. Okay. What's your Twitter handle? So people

know. Oh, Yoshio Bayashi, I should get something easier. But Yoshio Bayashi. Oh, Bayashi, O, B, A, Y, A, S, H, I. You guys are unbelievable. I'm fluent. I speak that language. Super white people. You also mentioned that I think when you're in Germany. Oh, you're talking about the porno thing? Yeah. Okay. So I'm only offering this to your mom's house, because you guys have been so supportive. Yeah, look at that. Don't give me wrong. I mean, you know, Joe Rogan talking shit, all those guys are nice to you. But um, um, so there's a there's a there's a listen, there's a very special place in the beautiful guppies that listen to this show that in their, their hearts for you. You're, you're a big favorite here. People are wonderful with you guys. And I,

I love Joe Rogan. You know, Joe is great. But sometimes he used those big words and scientific terms, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I don't want to put in like, I know what he's talking about. But with you guys, I could talk about shitting my pants. I could talk about shitting pants. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? So no pressure here for those big words. Yeah. Those type of big words aren't really the type that you hear around here. It's a totally, it's a different type, you know, so with, with us, you're not going to have that. So I don't know how, how to do this because maybe I need to figure out ways to raise money or something. And um, so, so I've been kind of thinking like I'm, I'm big words.

And um, I was thinking like maybe doing like a LA six tour where I have a van and I would drive people in LA like, okay, in this place, this and this thing happened at the elegant angel porn where the guy got murdered for blah, blah, blah, blah, like driver on LA. What a great idea. Great idea. I would say give a sex tour where guys can get handies, like which massage parlors they can go to where you can get the best. I'm not really that knowledgeable about it, but like, what's your idea? Like a porn issue. Like, you know, this is where Wonderland murder where John Holmes has something to do with, you know, these guys got murdered this and this is where one of the porn girl got murdered, supposedly, like throughout the valley and LA

or black Dahlia murder and things like that. But the one I'm working on is one in hopefully in Germany, like your mom's fans, uh, if we could pick up the dates and if, if we get enough people, I could tell them like, um, we could go first three days in the red light district in Amsterdam, take a train to the best. Great idea. If you want to see a girl guys shitting on each other right here. Um, so I'm not friend with this guy, Brandon Arons live in Dublin. And uh, if you're a friend of Brandon Arons, he's looking for a regular job in Dublin, so please help him. But his friend with a guy named John Thompson, one of the biggest porn guy in Germany, he does this thing called GGG, which is German good girls and the best Bukake German.

It's, uh, it's a lot of Bukake. It's, uh, yeah, it's, uh, now is it something the Asians invented Bukake, right? Yes. Um, Bukake literally means not enough to spread. So it's, it's actually food. Like you have this, uh, dry fried noodles. You put a little bit of sauce on top. You try to spread across the noodle, but the term, another term is this is a long time ago. Something horrible. A woman does something horrible in the village. Cheating on her husband or something. Everyone in the village will take that woman away from the village, middle of nowhere. They will take time, ejaculating all over her face. Out of shame, she will care herself. In America, you get

checked for $2,000. Big difference, right? But the Germans and Germans, uh, Japanese and, uh, Germans, this is pretty fucking disgusting, right? Describe what you're seeing. Okay. What I'm seeing is these two girls are like, are blowing this guy. Well, two of them are blowing them. One of the girls is getting fucked, but then another guy is pissing on all of them, including the guy that they're blowing. So he's getting pissed on. His dick is getting pissed on by another guy as they blow him and they get fucked. Teamwork. So complicated. Yeah, it is teamwork. And this is, uh, this is your guy, uh, John, what's his name? On John Thompson. John Thompson. His Google girl stuff. And these guys are peeing so much. So April 16th, June 11th, April

16th. That's your birthday. It's my birthday. Happy birthday. Wow. In Bremen, Germany, uh, if you have a, uh, you get your test and you're, you're clean, you could go and show up and get your dicks out. Or I didn't realize we're putting that out there too. Wow. Or if you don't want to do that, you just want to stand in and watch, you have to pay 250 euro to be, uh, watching it. But if you, if you, you know, I could help you with that. And I also could take you to different parts of Europe. It just depends on, you have to get X amount. How will you be the, this is because of your connections, you'll be able to like hook this up. Yeah. Wow. And I, and if they raise enough money, we, I could show you different places of, uh, Red Light District in Amsterdam.

That would be cool. Alipay, Netherlands. That is great. We were talking about this a little bit. Going with the real crowd. Yeah. Is that you really know the ins and outs of the Red Light District in Amsterdam? I know enough. And I know I got ripped off over the years. I know how to avoid it. And if they're afraid. That's, that's the whole key. So tell us what's a good, what's a tip? A Yoshi, not getting ripped off in Amsterdam. One of them without giving away all your big ones. We don't want you to blow your, your load. For most part, the girls are pretty, um, funny word to use, honorable, but places like Amsterdam is a little tricky because it's a touristy town. A lot of the girls knows most likely you're going to use her service once. They're, they're more inclined to

kind of rip off. Oh, because you're one and done. Yeah. You're not going to come back. But if you're in other smaller towns, they figure, well, I like to have a client. Right. A regular. Yeah. And, uh, assuming the girl is pretty, uh, honest, you just tell her exactly what you want. Then she'll say, well, if you want to do X and X, Y and Z, it's going to cost us much money and always be respectful. And she'd give you a good service. Always, always tip the girl. What's a good tip? I always worry about tips and, and, and, you know, life and travels. You don't know. Do I tip is a good tip? 10 bucks. Is it, is it 30 percent? I mean, if it's 50 euro, you know, if you're getting a girl in Amsterdam, 50 euro. It's so cheap. And it was like five to 10 euros should be fine. Um, they don't

expect it, but it's nice to do that. Another thing, even if you don't mean to like, thank you very much. Are you going to be here tomorrow, you know, before you have sex, that kind of put incentive in her head. Like, well, he might be coming back tomorrow. Oh, that's a real good tip. That's a, so 50 euro. And what do you get for that? Most places, um, like Frankfurt is 30. I've seen as it lowest 20 to 25 euro. We got to go there. Alec Mars, 30 in Netherlands. Um, but 50 is probably like the, you know, big, like Amsterdam, um, Belgium, Brussels. And that includes what in, in 50? Most, most, you know, between 50 to 20 minutes and, uh, fucking suck. Um, so cheap for that. So cheap. But that's what happened when you legalized something like that, where you have

more competition. The reason it's so high over here is illegal. So you're taking a risk. She's taking a risk and she had to make it worth her while. But I have to say the quality is way higher when it's legalized. Cause just whenever there's competition, the quality goes up goes up. Yeah. Um, so you mentioned your friend, uh, Brandon iron is, uh, is in Ireland. Yeah. And is that why you're going? Is that what you're, you said, aren't you going to Ireland or no? Yeah, I'm going like maybe 90 different countries, but I'm visiting Dublin to visit, um, Brandon, but I'm, I'm, I'm also a fan of, uh, James Joe is an Oscar Wilde. So I want to go to Trinity college and check that stuff. And your friend is a brand is looking for a job. Yeah. A legit job. Yeah. I mean,

he got this girl pregnant. He wanted, he wanted to get out of the business and take care of the kid. He, you know, he's, he's an honor. I mean, he's the, one of the reasons why I also branding was he should have made more money in the business, but that, that business full of scumbag and, and Brandon is too honest and too honorable. And it's really hard to compete with those kind of slime bow in the business, but he always tried to do the right thing. And I'm known him for a long time. He's a very honest guy. So he's looking for work, but you know, it's a Catholic country. They're really hard ass. Like you can't get a part man unless you and your girlfriend are married. You know what? Oh yeah. There's all this restriction in Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. They just

finally legalized abortion within the last six, seven, eight years. Uh, no, but I mean, as a porno guy, how would you rank him as a performer? One of the greats, he's, he's got one of those weird combination because if you wanted those guys to have a huge dick, you don't do anything creative, right? Yeah. For example, if you're Clemson, Alabama, these big football programs, sure you have all the biggest talent. You don't really have to do shit because you have big talent. You just put them in the right spot. But when you have a small colleges, you don't have as many talented players. You have to do all this kind of, you know, they, you know, they have creative stuff that other big colleges with big talents, they don't have to do it. Right. Branding,

not only have a big dick and could fuck really well, but he does all this crap. Like his famous, his famous as Mr. Slap Happy, where he slapped girls. Right. That was one of his moves. Yeah. But he only does it with the girls who are into it. You know what I mean? Oh, right. Yeah. Not a surprise distinction. Yeah. But so he's like a, like an Oregon football team, if you will, like they have a lot of talent, but they're also very creative with their innovation stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just very boring. Is he a strong performer or you say strong? He fucked really hard. He's into rough sex. Yeah. Yeah. But he think he's the worst. He's what he's almost kind of remind me of David Taylor porn, you know, like he doesn't think he does a

great job, but it's never good enough. I mean, what, what would be like his critique of himself? Like, I didn't fuck her hard enough or yeah, I think he's underrated. He should be in whole fame. Wow. He's, he's, he's, and he's, he's interested. He did this thing called intensity in 10 cities. So he fucked different girls into 10 different cities of the world. But before he fuck any of the girls, he would take each girl, kind of check out the city and like history of, you know, something happy at this building and there's very creative. Yeah. Then they have nice meal, then he'll fuck the shit out of her. So, you know, he did a lot of interesting stuff, but stuff like that doesn't sell well. It's always like slapping that girl really hard

or this and that, that, you know, makes the money, you know, but, uh, yeah, check out BraddenR.com. He's great. All right. It's quite a life, Yoshi. So, um, besides that, also if, if, if, if, if, if they're a fan that want to want to do it and if I get enough people really serious about doing something like that, just email me. I think two of your ideas, both of these are worth pursuing. One is LA based. Yeah, it's a great idea. Creative, uh, put together interesting sex tour that doesn't necessarily mean sex as a part of it, but like sex history, sex references, all that stuff, really good idea. And I think

the European one, your mom's house presents, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But like where you, where you, a guide, somebody, a guide is helpful in any situation. So having like the guide there to, to tell you like, this is a good place to go. This is how you should approach it. This is how you, this is the kind of money. It's invaluable. It's a huge service if you can do that. And eventually I would like to do other things like for ladies too, you know, because most, most, it's interesting. A lot of the women goes to, uh, Caribbean and, um, African countries. I'm sorry, where, where do the women go? Okay. Which African countries? I think Nigeria, I keep hearing about that. Yeah. These are like mature English, a lot of English

women. Thank you, sir. I'm all for that because you know, these women, um, they have, they have their own needs. They have sexual freedom and, uh, they work really hard. Yeah. Why not? You're, you're, you've been divorced. Your kids grow up and gone to college. You did everything right. Why not if you're 55 and you're having a hard time dating, you go train it and get a 19 year old black boy? Why not? Why not? You know, good for you. Get your group back. Now who's your dirty and disgusting? What's your favorite place to, for hookers? Where do you, what's your mecca? I know, I know what it is. Can I tell you? Can I guess? Yeah. It's Frankfurt. I, that's one of my favorite ones, but you know, but, uh, I have to say in Brazil, it's a, it's a

different animal. See last time you, you were towards German and now it's Brazil. It depends on what you're looking for because hard fucking core that those Brazilian women, they, it's, I don't know if, I don't know if prostitution is right because they are prostitutes, but sometimes they want to just hang out with you for the week and they just want to be taken care of and they're very, very sweet. The Brazilians. Yeah. I don't know necessary. I could say most of women who does prostitution stuff in Europe are necessary. I'm not saying they're bitch or anything. It just, it's work for them. It's more transactional. It sounds like, whereas you're saying in Brazil, you could meet some girl, let's say online beforehand and you show up and

you meet her. Oh, you could be at the beach and then eating and then she just started talking to someone. Oh, okay. They could be from favela and they just want to go to a nice place with actually hot shower, uh, go to movie and like, you know, the things that you take care of for granted, they don't have and, and quite often these guys, uh, you know, like buy stuff for them, you know, like to me, if you're an adult and you're, I'm more emphasized than be respectful to these girls. Yeah. You keep saying that. Of course. Be respectful and always, always tip if they're getting good service and take a bath for God's sake. I don't know how many times I go strip club and like these girls are working really hard. You know, don't, women are super sensitive with

smell. They're really good with their nose and like, you know, just do, do some prep work. You know, it's almost like pagan religion. You respect these women. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think so too. They should legalize it and protect the women that are sex workers. It's not a perfect solution, but it's better than other solutions happening. Yeah. I agree. So you go to Brazil and like you kind of, you kind of wife this girl up for like a week or two. In other words, like you take her to dinners, but the approach, I think the approach we have to go through first, the approach could be literally just sitting there. You're sitting there having lunch somewhere. Yeah. I mean, I, well, I mean, I've only been there once, but I went to, uh, we were saying

Coba Cabana and there's a place that used to go, uh, help and literally there's like for every guy, there's like 20 women there. And that's one of the few places like if you, if you're a regular guy, you feel like rocks out because they will literally rush up to you and just grab your dick. We gotta go. What's that called? It's called hell house. It's called, you're not going. So Coba, you go there and then this girl's come up to you and like talking to you. Hey baby, you know what are you doing here? You're staying in town for a while and then you pick, you pick the one you like basically. Sure. And you hang out with her for a while. I think I, I mean, I wasn't there with that long, but like Jim Norton and Patrice O'Neill used to talk about that quite

a bit. Um, but Jim, didn't he also like the, uh, transsexuals? I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, that's what I've heard. Yeah. Have you ever been with a transsexual? Is that your bag? No, I have, I haven't, I get that ask a lot. I get, I mean, hey, I have, I have not, but I have to say I haven't had a whole lot of girlfriends, but it's shocking. Few of the females I'm in Brazil, like they're just so beautiful. You can't believe it's, it's, um, it's a guy. Yeah. But what I don't understand is that there's ones that that it's so obvious you're a man and I don't find it attractive. Like if the person looked like a woman, like, what can you say? Like, he's got a dick. She's got a dick, but she's beautiful. But there's other ones like it's obviously a guy, you know,

six foot two black guy, you know, but some, some guys that are into that, you know, that's, that's just not. Well, I imagine it's confusing to your reptilian brain because you're like, oh, this trick's so hot. And then she's got a painter. Like it's just, I imagine conflicting for men. Conflecting. But I think, um, this might, there's a scientific explanation, but my, my, um, unscientific explanation is, and this is something Jim Norton is just incredible and the honest, like he used to make me so uncomfortable because Jim is the absolutely the most honest comic that I've ever met. Yeah. Honest guy, period. But, um, I think men in general are always afraid of what they call the sea world, the creep, right? Being judged by women. Oh, right. And when you,

when you're dealing with transgender person, technically by a lot, I mean, technically that person is man. So they understand the urges that they have, but because they're taking female hormone and they identify themselves as a woman, they could sympathize with that person. You know, and, um, it's, it's, it's that part that I, I find it so interesting that, um, they just want to be not treated horribly, you know? Of course. And it's empathy if you have any, you know. Yeah, of course. But they are basically are also more open to as many pigish things as you want to do. Yeah. Because they understand. Right. Yeah. So it sounds like to me the best of both worlds is a transgender. Yeah. Like why, why not? In my opinion, if you're going there, like, why not? I

don't know. They have to try to think of the opposite. I'm trying to think of like a dude who has a vagine. Like, would that appeal to me? I don't know. I think the, um, the interesting part to me also is the aspect of hanging out like for a week with somebody. It's way different than the transactional, right? Yeah. It sounds a bit nicer. It's a bit nicer. It sounds like. I can't remember which, um, Italian automobile company. It's the big one. It runs by this very family, the very powerful family in Italy and their son or grandson who will one day take over the country. I remember five, seven years ago, they found his body, OD, they saved his life, but he was hanging out with like three or four different females in Rome. And I don't necessarily think

it could be a sexual thing, but it's also she, I transgender people are very wise. They, they're, they understand how men thinks and also women think, right? I mean, the Greek called the best. Tiresias. Remember that mythological myth? Tiresias did something horrible to upset the gods. So God punished Tiresias and turned him into a woman for seven days, seven years. And I don't know what happened. Maybe he did something good where God made her back to a man. But after that, even gods that he was the wisest of all, because he understand what men and women think. Even the Greek gods, remember, Zeus and Hera, his wife, they're always fighting a marital, even the gods have a marital problem.

Tiresias was the wise. So, I mean, I'm comfortable around there because I worked in porn for so long. I admit a lot of them, but it's amazing. I can't even imagine 12 years ago with Caitlyn Jenner and all this transparent, the show and like, there's really like incredible amount of changes in the last 12 years. Oh, yeah. But I think no matter who you're with, you've got to remember that towels can have aids. Hey, have you, Josh, have you ever gone to the Philippines and gotten hookers? No, I have not. Are you attracted to Asian women? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay. I don't know about Asian American women, but I like Asian women. Oh, okay. There's a, that's a different animals, I think. You know, I, I, my family is not my, my family don't like to talk about it. But my neighborhood when I was growing up in Japan, within a mile and a half, two miles was very similar to Red Light District in Amsterdam. You have all these homes right next to each other.

The front gate is open. You see a girl on the tummy floor and kind of sitting there with this really old lady sitting next to her and you negotiate the old lady if you want to have sex with her. I grew up in that. I mean, that wasn't like within a mile and a half where I grew up. So I thought that's like normal sex business is normal. You know, I didn't realize how big a deal it was until I moved here because I didn't grow up with religion either.

So it's a very bizarre, but I, you know, I grew up with that sort of thing. So I, I think it's so weird that sex is such a normal thing. And I don't know why guys are called urban women. It's natural that we, we desire women and think about it all the time. But it's, it's really weird judging people for the thing that is so normal. Things that we desire. I agree. I totally agree about that.

So absolutely. Yeah, we should change everybody. But you know, Tom, you're very lucky because your life is beautiful, intelligent and open-minded. And very open-minded. It's an act. Open-minded. I'm going to go to Brazil before the baby is born. Get back.

He's saying you'll make it back. What about Thailand? Have you done, um, prostitutes there? I've only been to South Korea and Japan. I haven't been there in Asia. Juicy girls. Have you heard of juicy girls in South Korea? No.

Oh, okay. When I was on the military bases there, the prostitutes were called juicy girls. They're usually nearby military bases, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know if you, I would like to go and visit. I just have to be careful because I have a Japanese name and you know what they did during World War

2. I don't, I don't, I didn't want to be with a non-Japanese girl where I'm just fearful of that, you know, people. No, yeah. So what, what do you think the difference is between Asian American girls and just Asian, Asian girls? Because you're saying you prefer Asian, Asian. I'm not saying it's impossible not liking Asian American girls, but, um, What's the, what do you think the big difference is?

You know who, uh, with a Japanese girl, that nuance and subtle things that they do, um, I kind of like that. And it's kind of like, you know, the food that you grow up with, you kind of pretty much judge everything else based on what you grow up. Yeah. So obviously I grew up with Japanese girls and women and I guess, I guess I do prefer that. It's not like a dominating thing.

I'm not, I'm just not into that sort of things, but I don't know. I just like, their, their temperament is, I like the temperament better. Of Japanese, yeah, Japanese girls. Yeah. They laugh a lot and stuff, like they giggle a lot and stuff. But they're not weak either. To see, that's the thing that they don't understand.

No, absolutely. The Asian women are not weak. I mean, they rule the roost as far as I could tell, like when I had the Chinese boyfriend, I know it's not the same as Japanese, but his mom ran the show, ran his life. I'm not, I'm not into the screamer. Japanese girls don't have to scream. They just have a really clever, subtle way. Like they will never tell you what they like or they'll never tell you what they hate.

Japanese girls. Oh shit. Did she like it or hate it? Yeah. How do you know? What? Did she like it or hate it? What she was doing just then?

It's not a Japanese girl. Yeah, it was. Yeah. She spoke English though. Oh, she learned a couple of words. Oh. So wait, a Japanese girl, you said- I don't like that pointy shit at all.

You're saying she won't tell you if she likes or hates anything in- I mean, that's traditionally, because if people knew what you liked, they're going to try to take it away because you're a woman. And if you like, if you want, if you disliked something, you don't want to let her know because that's what they might do to you. So with the Japanese women, it's a nuanced thing and it's very challenging. It's, sorry, football reference. It's like the relationship between quarterback and defensive back.

Quarterback, no, he knows that he's been watched by defensive back. Defensive back know that he's been watched. They're trying to outsmart each other. That's the kind of shit that I like. And they pick up on each other's- Tendency and things like that. So that's like a relationship with a Japanese girl? I mean, that's the kind of stuff that I notice.

Really? So then that's what you like in dating? Yeah. You were dating, you'd like to date a Japanese girl? Yeah, it's really funny talking to them. But you want to date like Japanese? I don't know if I want to date anyone. No, but I'm saying it wouldn't intrigue you to do it to date a Japanese American.

It would be Japanese. They're just so, I mean, that's like a different between African and Black person. That is a world of difference. Yeah. One say yo and the other one's saying, right? That's a huge difference, Tommy. That is, that's one of the difference. And when I go to Scandinavia, I'm the Black guy, right?

Because I go to all the- You think so? They think you're Black? The Black people in Scandinavia, they act so tough and like, come on. You were born in Sweden. You speak four languages. You have health insurance. You don't, you have, you have virtually no chance of getting shot by cops.

And you listen to American rap act like Black American? Like, it's so funny that they act like that. And when I go to those, this is the worst never don't go there. Like, it's a fucking joke. Like, I'm the Negro. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna go to those places. That's so true.

Now, so this is in, you go to Scandinavia? Yeah. Because now, now we're going to speak the language of Christina. Sure. Like, like if you're into Kregigar, if you're into Camus, all the extensional stuff. Yeah, I love it. And the bleakness, but they're fantastic because I, I believe there's a place for depression and seen negativity because during an emergency, they don't panic because they're

used to seeing bleak. That's right. That's what I always tell my husband is that I'm the best during a crisis because my brain's already wired for darkness. So when bad things happen, it just feels like home. I'm like, oh, I'm prepared for this emotionally. In fact, that's absolutely true because some historians say Lincoln suffered from terrible depression, but because he's so used to doing depression,

he could deal with that terrible time during the Civil War. Yeah, for sure. It doesn't faze him. That's why Scandinavia is really fun to do shows for them because you could talk some really dark shit. They just laugh. It's like an AA room. You ever done an AA room?

Yeah. They get dark as fuck. They're the best. You can say whatever you want in an AA room. So dark stuff, Scandinavia, great. But if you go to Southern region, people are more sunny. I do not do very well in those rooms, even though I might get an offer to work a month in Hawaii, but it's got to be a clean show, a guy named Margie Cheaths.

Fuck that. But I don't mind if it's Hawaii or whatever. What? It's no fucking fun. Clean show's the worst. It really is. I fucking want to blow my brains out on a clean show. I don't even have clean material for an hour, do you?

I don't know what to talk about. I used to be able to really script it out. If I got booked for something or private and I just got to clean, I would take my notebook. I'd write out, first of all, figure out all my material and then put lines next to clean. Or then I'd try it. It's kind of a good workshop thing. Because then you go, hey, could I make this one? I mean, you know, like, hey, choking on my jizz or the blow job.

And that stuff's all out. But then you go, well, this thing, maybe I could make this work. If I... A lot of insanuation. Yeah. You don't want to draw a dirty picture. But I actually... Agi T is a big TV personality, a radio person in Hawaii.

And I opened for him. And it was really funny because I really toned it down. But I know a lot of Hawaiian references. I did a show at church for Hawaiian people, you know? And they loved it. You. And that's hard to... I know.

I was even shocked. But like, they loved it. Did the statues of Christ start bleeding? I know. How come you didn't set on fire? I was surprised myself, you know, like a kind of tongue. I mean, it's diluted like the way you put kimchi in the water, the bowl full of water, right?

But yeah, it was a really good exercise. That's not something I wanted to do all the time, but... No, but you're right. If it's something that you can do it... For a little bit. I mean, it's, you know, 15 minutes from the Agi T order. Yeah, no. It's just a bummer to get asked.

I feel that. I got... I hate when they're like, can you do this clean? I'm like, dude, you're just bumming me out. You know why? Because it takes the adult fun. Out of doing it. It's like, listen, if you're all consenting

adults, why do I have to act like we're children? I think it's juveniles, childish. It's like this, that pregnancy thing. I have a stupid app and it sends you updates. And one of the things, the question was, will I pass stool while I'm in labor? Passing stool. Like you can't even fucking say, will I take a dump on the table? Like we're so childish, we can't even call it what it is.

Now, by the way, speaking of labor and whatnot... Get the fuck out of here. I'm pretty excited that you're going to be lactating soon. And it's one of the fetishes, adult breastfeeding in this couple here. Is it really? Yeah, for sure. The guy's real fixated on how long he can keep his wife lactating. As long as she stays lactating and hopefully I can keep her lactating.

Do you envision being lactating in 20 years? I mean, it's possible. I think Jeff and Michelle are going to be in for some root awakenings down the road. And I would certainly encourage Jeff and Michelle to seek further counseling to explore these issues. Oh, she sees it as deviating. That's a therapist. I'm concerned there's not really any need to consult the therapist further about the fetishes because it's not really harmful.

Well, I hope for the future for Michelle and I are hopefully we'll have a big family. Now, he only wants a big family so that she keeps lactating. If we have eight kids, then we'll have eight kids. Eight. Oh my God. I do want to have another child, but I want to wait at least. Notice she goes, I do want to have another child. And he's like, maybe we'll have eight kids because he's supposed to keep sucking on those titties.

But what what what sort of interaction? What's your sexual appetite? Is it different when you're pregnant or just the same or? I think it fluctuates, you know, some months your it depends on what your body's doing. It also depends person to person. We know couples where like the woman shuts it down. No, no. Then there's hypersexual.

And then there's pigs like us, right, baby? That's what's up. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think we've just maintained a normal, healthy, sexual, you know, life. Yeah, I mean, like I said, it just depends on where you're sometimes you're in pain. You know, and you just like, uh, then sometimes you feel like a normal person. So, but different strokes. Everyone's different.

Yeah. So they keep saying, I don't know how much time do you have left for this one? I just need to mention one thing that that's sure. We got time, by the way. Okay, good. You don't mind talking about this right now. What are we talking about? Okay.

I'm scared now. Oh, no, this is actually about lactating. No, no, no, it has nothing to do with that. So I don't know when I'll be out of the country in January, but um, my friend, I go Gunderson, um, we're going to be releasing a magazine called illegal magazine in San Francisco. Wait, you're going to be releasing an illegal magazine? No, that's the name of the magazine.

Oh, okay. Okay. Let's go illegal magazines and this magazine and program was started in Copenhagen, Denmark, by a guy named Michael Olsen and he's a social entrepreneur. So these magazines are sold by addicts in Copenhagen and many of the article, pictures and artworks are done by addicts and former addicts. And basically every time they sell these magazines, they keep 40% and they use that money to buy drugs.

So they don't have to prostitute themselves and commit petty crimes. And it's been going for a while and Michael started this program where he's driving a van with a doctor and nurse, pick up an addict and let them inject heroin back. So prevent overdose. So what happened was he used to help Romanian kids, homeless kids in 80s and 90s. When he came back to Copenhagen, he noticed that all the syringes in his neighborhood, he started talking to addicts and he thought he really need to help these people in Copenhagen. And for a long time, the government was against it, but they implemented the program after a while

because it was saving a lot of people's lives. So cities are driving around picking up people to, you know, I am not suggesting drugs are good for you. I prefer that you don't do it. But if you do it, I consider it as a medical issue. And I don't think you're a bad person. And we want to, you know, help you. But he also has a facility where people fix meals, place to write their business plan and

get job skills and help them get out of the transition from an addict. And there's another one, Drug Use Union, a guy named Mr. Jorgen. We've been kind of working to help people with drug issues. And they implemented this program in London too. So now we're going to release this magazine, hopefully sometime in January, where, you know, trying to raise money and help people with addiction issues, you know, because I was a friend with Mitch Hepburn. I love the guy and makes me sad.

You know, it's been a little over 10 years this year that he passed away. And we have tons of friends who in comedy, you know, hair sweaters, you know, I wouldn't have met him once, but it's just insane that we keep doing this drug war and throwing people in jail where they need medical help, not in jail, you know, so. Well, in the Netherlands, don't they give out heroin and clean needles to addicts that they're not compromised, you know, their health is a compromise. They don't have to rob people. Sure.

It's actually, look, if you're going to be an addict, the Netherlands is a great place to be. In Germany, I think in Frankfurt, they're called pump room where you go, all the addicts are going and then there's a clean room to put in heroin and clean needles to prevent spread of STD. And I, you know, it's one of those pet peeve that I have for a long time. I don't like the drug war, which is misleading because war eventually end. And this is, you know, this thing's been going long time. So, you know, if you, if you have idea for articles, you have an artwork for this magazine, you know, you could dumbyoshiagmail.com or Facebook or Twitter account.

But yeah, we were trying to raise money, get this thing out. What would you know the content of this magazine will be? Right now, we have the first issue, we have like former addicts, you know, what was it like growing up in New York City? It just depends on the article, former addicts writing or anything to do with drug related articles. But any fun content or just all bummers about being something like we have sometimes comedians writing about, you know, I think we might try to get Jason Rouse, another funny comedian to write our article. But I could write an article about when IO did.

Oh, that we were, we were a lot, I didn't, I didn't know, I didn't know that. Yeah. I mean, serious? Yeah. IO did when I was 19. Oh, we would love to have you write something, you know, yeah. It'll be the first North American issue of Illegal Magazine. I'd love to. And if you want to read about Illegal Magazine, there's been a couple clips on Vice, you know, so.

Okay. Yeah, it makes me feel sad to see these people are getting punished. I even met Cameron Douglas, Michael Douglas's son, through one of my friend, 10 years ago, New York City. And he was a, he seemed like a wonderful person, we talk about politics, but he's still alive. He's in jail. They just add another like crazy amount of years in prison.

Sense because they found drugs, but then like, look, he's getting punished. He needs drugs. These are like people that needs medical attention. Hell, putting it in jail makes absolutely no sense. So, um, yeah, it's, it's, uh, and all the black young African American kids were wasting years of their lives, always with the drug related stuff, you know, it's crazy if they're not violent criminal, they didn't rape anyone, then put in them for weed and stuff. It's just insane.

It's crazy. Well, it's, I know it's, I totally agree with you. And it is a real problem. The, the, the justice system with respect to, to, to drug sentences and the way we police, you know, it started with Nixon because he want to go against his enemies and what does inner cities and liberal hippie white people have one thing in common, which is drugs. And he went after them and people that used to work for Nixon said, this is a disaster. It was a really bad thing for the country.

And, um, I, uh, you know, uh, George shows who used to work for Ronald Reagan, secretary of treasury and things like that. Even he's saying through, um, Hoover Institute in Stanford saying, we need to legalize drugs and, and Milton Freeman too. The economists, uh, he's dead now. But, um, these are not like some drug fiends. These are super conservative people supporting Nixon and Reagan. They just think that drug policy is a disaster, absolutely disaster.

You know, I agree. Um, so futile. So this is one of the things I do. And, uh, I try to use some of my money from that medical lab to do a legal magazine. But, you know, if anyway, if people could help and donate money and things like that, where can they go to kickstart? Uh, yoshi.com and there's a, uh, donate section or, um, you could go illegal magazine and email them.

You want to donate money, but we're trying to print 5,000 issue. I mean, I like the release 10,000 issues of that magazine and help, uh, I mean, people in San Francisco has been very open. Like we have problem in Berlin. They were very mistrustful of the program, but the people who are helping, uh, with the drug issues in San Francisco, they've been very kind. They really want to help people with drugs. And, um, um, hopefully we get published in January.

So we're, we've been looking for writers, uh, artists. And Tommy, if you could write it, that'd be fantastic. I will. I told him I'll write about when I owed you. Oh yeah. To be the first American issue of the illegal magazine. Yeah.

01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:25,700 We would love it. Very cool. Um, speaking of, uh, this is a change of topic here, but, um. Shedding my pants. No, this is, uh, we had this audio, this, this, uh, sent in a while back. I don't think we played it with Cholos when they try, uh, kale chips. Oh, I love this thing.

Have you heard of this? Cholos, like, you know, Yeah, I know who they are. Trying kale chips for the first time. Like they've never been given, you know what kale chips are? No. Like potato chips made from kale, like the. Oh no.

Yeah. So it's like how. That's like a fancy white people food, right? Exactly. Super white. Yeah. So this is them trying it. Kale chips.

Kale. They look like some wheat in here. And, and, and then they gave them kombucha too. Yeah. Oh, damn. It looks like something else. You can smell it right out the back too. It's like marijuana to me.

This is chips. They all think it looks like wheat. Because it totally does. It does. It does. It does. Yeah. Like you try and get me a rest.

I ain't, I'm not taking that. I'm a pro, G. Yeah. It's like, it looks like nugs, like little nuggets, you know, because it's all dried and kind of curled up. And it looks like a dried up. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.

A little bundle. If I walk up to the homies with this. They packed it up real nice. They would be like. She played it off, huh? Like, what you eating, chips? Dude, if I show my dad this, he'll be like, oh, he'll start breaking his table up.

And like, let's, let's break it up. 01:11:49,700 --> 01:11:50,100 How much is that? Like a C ram? It looks like a little, like a clam. I don't know what happened when we smoked this. I mean, it doesn't smell that good. No, for reals.

It don't, it don't make you want to be like. She's like eating. Eating, that's right. Like, I like it now. I don't like it at first, but I like it. This looks weird. Like, what am I really eating? Duh.

Look, this, look, it's disintegrated in my mouth. Yeah, like it crumbled. It's fucking weird. Like, all right. Well, I thought at first I didn't like it, but then you kind of get used to it. Let me break it up. Let me break it up.

Look, I want more. All right, dawg. You just want more, dawg. Is this weed, dawg? I feel like I'm getting high. Kombucha? This is like some chloroform, isn't it? Then they have a thing on them,

on a National Geographic, the Kombucha. There was a tribe or something. Was that them? Nah, that's that girl from YouTube. I like it. I like it every time. Dude, I can watch these guys try shit all day. Did you see the video where they had these three women

between 60 to 80 years old, and they're trying marijuana for the first time? Yeah. I think that's a good one, too. It's pretty cool. They start giggling within 20 minutes. Did you, we got this, pulled this back out for you, because one and a half, and this happens in the business.

This is after a guy and a girl shot a scene. Can you feel me coming inside you? Yes. What do you feel like? It's about liquid in there. Normally, I don't feel liquid in there. Do you usually get guys coming inside you? No.

Okay, what kind of birth control you on? My birth control is plan B. Yeah. Dumb dumb, huh? Yeah, my birth control is planned. Not even thinking about it. Is that pretty common? Yeah, they're, I mean, depends on the girl.

If they're professional, they think making this as a business. Yeah. But there's other goofy ones, like, you know, whatever it goes. Yeah. So they're always thinking about that. Thinking about that money. But it was just a really good thing.

I like that thing. Today, I did two cream pies, but all I did was just I went to Walgreens, got the cranberry pill. Yeah, awesome. I thought they gave you extra for that, didn't they? Yeah. Oh, that's the Nifflik one, right?

Yeah, but. Oh, you know this one, yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah. It's good. Did you feel really bad for them or you jerk off? It's the same, it's the same fucking story. There's always one, like, go see their family, they're upset.

You know, I mean, it's the same story. Give us some insight, please. It's like hoop dream, right? Remember at the end of the documentary, the coach, like, okay, one leaves, there's another one who will replace that person. Right, right, right. You know, and.

But it is kind of like that. It's a revolving door. And these girls don't make, like, nearly enough. Yeah, here's the math. Listen to her money talk. They gave me an extra hundred dollars for that. And plan B pills, only like 40 something bucks. So that's 60 bucks that I get to keep.

Why not? For two cream pies, and she gets to keep 60 dollars, because plan B is only 40, right? You know what I mean? Do you guys come inside of these? It's kind of weird. I'm always hustling getting that money. Yeah, they paid.

If they're doing a couple of porn things that they'd be famous and go on the road stripping because you're like a headliner, the stripper version of the headliner, that's one thing. But the money situation is really weird now, you know, because companies are making the same kind of money and there's so many free porn tube shit. Yeah. Is that what's killed, money-making, tube sites?

Yeah, I mean, the demand for porn is never going to change. It's whether you get collect money for it. Right. That's the big problem. That's what we're talking about before the show, before I started taping, is that why even do porn now if you're a woman? You may as well just be a prostitute, be a hooker,

and that way you can have a life. Like poor Bri Olson, she's, you know, living in Indianapolis, trying to be normal, but she can't, because everybody knows she did porn. Yeah. It's stupid now to even do it. Just be a hooker, you dirtbag. You dirtbag.

Dummy. If you're a famous porn star doing private, you make way more money. But that's different. It's harder to get famous now, isn't it? I mean, the stars that I know of are older bitches, like Bella Donna, your Jenna Jamison, your Tara, I don't know who's now.

I don't really know. I don't know who the big star is now either. Who's the big star of right now that we don't know about? That's like the mega porn star. I don't know if it exists. Towers could have AIDS. Yeah. I don't know if that paradigm exists anymore, which sucks.

It really is tough. I mean, I don't think you're, I don't think you're going to have anyone like Sasha Gray level fame. Or Tara Patrick, who's an, she's an empire. Like she, She was. And not anymore.

It's, it's falling off. Or what's, what's going on? I mean, when, when she was started, she was the first girl to be on, on, uh, cover up penthouse and playboy at the same time. It's never been done before, you know, but every time I see this figure, like Forbes, like top 10 money making porn star,

I never believe that figures at all. It sounds like a fucking bullshit to me. You think that it's inflated? I don't know where they get this number because I thought I talked to Sasha and stuff and like, like, she just laughed like, I wish that's true. I really wish it was because she had big money. She doesn't make a lot of money now, right?

She makes money doing other things. Right. Porn because, you know, porn, you want to make movie. That's it. You know, you know, what's the other thing she could be money making doing? Well, she make pretty decent money.

Looks like DJing. DJing. Oh, wow. She flies her. That's your business. She flies all over the world. She flies. So she escorts.

No, no, no. She doesn't escort. She DJs and she wrote a romance novel and it was bestseller in Russia, in Spain. Like, I don't know how that happened. No, DJing wise, she's a known DJ. Like people request. I guess because her, I don't know how good she is DJing,

but like, because of her name attached to it, people pay money. She's big in Russia. She's huge. Did you know when Russia invaded Crimea, Russia's government used her as propaganda saying Sasha Gray volunteered to be a nurse and she was killed in action, things like that.

Holy shit. Do you remember, did you hear about the early in the year? Yeah. I heard about obviously the Crimea part, but I didn't know anything about them. I called and like, what? She ends like, yeah, we were laughing like. Is she of Russian descent?

Is she a Rusky? She's Greek. Everyone thinks she's heavy because her eyes, but she's just not, she's nothing Asian, but she's most popular in Russia. I don't, I don't know what it is. It's like. You never know which cultural, you know, niche.

Now are you open to me DJing more? Well, Tom wants to become a DJ and. You've done that before? Dude, I mean. I want to really get into it. Like, um. You should. Yeah.

Russell does it. Every time he does a big show, he does DJing stuff too. They love it. He does it himself now before the show. I told you, man. I thought he hired. No, like after party and he'll show up and DJ and things like that.

He's really good. That's what I'm saying. 01:19:13,140 --> 01:19:14,580 Let me DJ at my after parties. For the DJs that you, we toured with when you went to England with him. Yeah, Spinbad and Scratch. Spinbad. Yeah, those guys are cool.

Follow DJ Spinbad. He's starting from scratch. Great. Starting from scratch. Yeah. Those guys were so much fun too. It was the best time with him. Yeah.

And we were with like their, wasn't it? Um. But you know what? Started with Scratch. Had his fiance at the time. Yeah, they're awesome. Those guys are way better than all this other top. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But part of it have to do showmanship. I don't know what they do so different from those guys with actual skills. And I don't understand it, you know? But who knows what goes into that. But if you're into it, you should, you should do it. I fucking told you. Well, can we, yeah, I think you should. It could be extra.

She's really, she's really against it. Why? She just thinks it's too juvenile and just like I shouldn't, I shouldn't get my equipment and start. I told her it's my passion. You know, I'm not good now, but that doesn't mean I won't get better at it. And then I could tack it on to my shows. I think.

Yeah. When you become super famous and I know you guys well and you have a DJing. That name alone will put you in that like an income category with DJing. Oh, really? I can't believe. I can't, I didn't think about it that way, Yosh. I mean, that's like, why not? You know, I mean, imagine, let's say I get just a little more famous and then I go,

I have my stand up show at whatever venues, a nice theater. And then afterwards you can come. I'm going to scratch at this club. Sure. Additional, additional revenue. Well, you love nightlife. I mean, you're always out until four in the morning. I'm scratching.

You love people, clubs, club environment. It's just not my through together. Yeah, great. I love what you guys told me. I love this. I did this on my own, just as like an audition. Really good. Are you serious right now?

I wish that less neck to see their faces. I wish, I wish you horrible. This is terrible. This is music. You did this. Speak for yourself. It's garbage. Yeah.

But you know, Tom, I've been serious about this. Horrible music. This is music. Kids listen to this crap. You be so good. You are so good. Don't encourage him. Like ESPN sports announcing.

Yes, yes. That's what I'm so good. Don't can't you see him? Being on one of these football shows. You are so good. And obviously you'll be so much funnier than the guy doing it. But you're right there. I've been saying that.

I know just enough when you're talking like, this motherfucker knows what he's talking about. I do love football. And can I tell you these old assholes on these ESPN, all these shows you watch. All of these are 100 year old white guys. They look like fucking droopy dog. They look like they're dead.

They wouldn't let a woman that ugly on television. Meanwhile, it's four old fucking POS's. You need to be on this stuff. You're so good. You're so good. God damn it. Who do we call? So I think I could see you.

Like, you know, one of my favorite things in the lesson every week is Bill Simmons. I love that guy. He became famous nationally because he's able to talk about Boston sports, which is only particularly the fans for Boston only. But he's able to put pop culture reference to make everyone in the country appreciate it.

Right. You're a funny guy. You can make all the fine reference. Whereas you, with the philosophy and advice. Hooker. You're very funny. And I could see you talk show where helping people with, you know.

Yeah, with their life. She loves that kind of stuff. The white opera over here. Oh, I love being white opera. We just need Yoshi to be our agent. That's all we need. Yeah, when are you going to become an agent so you can make all our dreams come true, Yo?

You guys are going to, it's going to happen. But, but, but the, but the philosophy is not, boy, I listened to that. You're very good at what do you do? Speak up. Give a plug. That's deep bro podcast every week. I do it.

Do you like the song? Yeah. She likes it. I could see you doing Ted conference. Seriously. Comedy and philosophy combined. I mean, you do get to flex that muscle with that deep bro every week though.

I do. Yeah. I get to talk some shit. And you've been doing work, by the way. I should, our listeners, I hope they appreciate that you've been back in episodes. Trying. You know, the funny thing that they do

at during the Ted conference? Yeah. They have a bill conference. You know what that is? No. Remember Bill and Ted? Oh, yeah. So, whichever city they have a Ted conference,

these goofballs will have a conference with a goofy shit. That's hilarious. They have a conference like, learn to take shit-sting out of your pants. That's our conference. That's our conference. You guys should do that conference

during the Ted conference. Like, hey, you can't afford to go to Ted conference. Come to your mom's house conference. That's really funny. I like that. This is true. Like, I read it. How much does it cost to go to a Ted?

Is it really expensive? $5,000. What? Yeah. To go? Yeah. And I think you have to give... I don't know.

I don't know how that works. Come on. But as an audience member... You have to pay a lot. Get your life. Who can afford it? I gotta look this up. These white nerds.

But you guys could do a conference every city with Ted conference. It's a great idea. Your mom's house conference. I love Bill, Bill. That's kind of what we do in your mom's house live. It's just us talking about shitting with people. You should have conference.

I know. It's a very important issue. Have you ever shit on somebody? You have to apply. You have to apply to go. I'm asking you a very... Have you ever done that stuff pooping on people? I did that once in Germany,

but it's not my thing. You have to shit on or you should have come on. I had to plus the bag over me. I'm not a weirdo. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Clearly. Look at Tom's face.

What's up, babe? The cost to go to this. Well, how much is a Ted conference? Okay. First of all, you apply. See if you qualify to go. I'm sorry. To be an audience member.

And to pay. Oh, fuck them. Fuck these jobs. When you apply, you'll need to provide your credit card information. If we approve the application, we will notify you and charge your card two business days later. Everybody boycott going these snobs.

That's why you need to have your mom's house conference the same week. I gotta tell you this. That's great. Let's look at their schedule and follow them. I think it's a great. And then it says membership options and benefits. Yeah.

So this is tied into the application process. The standard one is standard conference membership benefits. So I guess you get to go to these. You get conference attendance, online networking access, and conference video archive. That's sold out. So there's no available for this next one, which is in Vancouver, February 15 and 19, $8,500, $8,500.

No way. The donor level one is still available. You can apply. You have to apply for them to accept your money. Oh, come on. You get the donor benefits. You get the conference attendance, online networking access, conference video archives,

plus recognition in the program. Let's see. You get early access to get into theater early, standby seating. There's a private event, early renewals, the Ted Book Club. That is $17,000. Who's affording these nerd conferences? There's another level.

The level is a Ted conference patron membership, a special five-year membership category. It's further support Ted's goals with a more substantial annual contribution. You must apply also for this. You get all the stuff that I mentioned before, plus VIP hotel assistants, concierge, meeting rooms. And get this.

My friend Eddie Wong got kicked out of the show because he left the conference and did DVD, ASA thing, and they got mad at him. Not only that, speakers do not get paid. And two, he was telling me he had to share room with another speaker and things like that. It's a big money-making thing for 10,000. Well, this level is $150,000.

Fuck them. How about we just watch it free on YouTube, like everybody else? And it just sounds great. So Eddie, was it a member or was he a speaker? He was a speaker. You're supposed, even after you've given a speech, you're supposed to stay at the hotel and the conference.

Mingo, what the other speaker, what now? He left middle of it, the DVD, ASA. And he was one of the first ones to get kicked out of Ted's conference. And also, they were mad at Sarah Silverman for using... Her jokes. Sorry about that. And she is hilarious.

How you invited her and you know what she's about. She did exactly what she was hilarious. She made fun of... What did she make fun of, do you remember? She said that she want to adopt a baby or something, but responsibly this and that. So she want to adopt a baby with cancer. So this person will die within six months.

You know what kind of person would do that? She goes, amazing person. So yeah, she was great. But yeah, they got mad at her because... What a bunch of nerds. They're just like fake outrage and bunch of fucking babies. Offended. Everybody's offended. That's so funny that she did that.

I love her so much more now. She's great. I love her. So maybe you guys should think about... Really, that'd be funny like... An anti-tent. YMH conference. Conference.

And we can invite other like-minded podcasters, right? Talk about their bowel movements too. It's so important. It's so... Now, how are your bowel movements with these medical... Oh, good one. Not this study, but last one. Every day, they'll check your vitals and make sure you're okay.

But they also ask you about AE, which is adverse effect. And nobody wouldn't say anything. So like, I guess I'm the only travel American having a problem because my shit is green. I was shitting green for that whole time. Yeah. Wait, and which test was this for? This was Alzheimer's medication.

And oh my God. My shit was completely like shrek green. Wow. And did it... Was it like a soft or hard? It was hard. Hard green shit is coming out of my asshole. That's a maze. Look at that top space.

Yeah. Green shit? Yeah, green shit. Jesus. You had some hot ones last night. Where's the night before? I think it was the night before, yeah. Like hot fours?

Yeah, four and a half. Yeah. Always. See, I think that's your wheelhouse. This is the hot four. I have a tomorrow workout at noon. Oh, you're gonna shit. I think you guys explain to me

what's the number range means again? One to seven. Do you have a mug with us? No, I took it home. See, this is the kind of conference I want to hear at the YMH conference. One to seven. One is real bad.

I mean, that's... Hard or? Hard, yeah. You're constipated. You're dehydrated. Like rabbit pellets. Really, really, you know, like passing glass. In fact, when I was shitting green,

I remember I had to shit bad, but I couldn't shit it. It was so bad I wasn't paying. I had to put my finger in my asshole and break this shit into half. I've actually thought of doing that so many times. It was hurting so bad because it was clogged. My dad told me about this. He did this and he had to go to the doctor

and it was like a warning sign. They were like, you really need to hydrate a lot more. They were really concerned for him, man. I was drinking a lot. It's just the medication, I think. Wait, well, right, right. And did your dad put his own finger up his ass? His asshole, yeah.

Yeah, believe me. Yeah. Yeah. You're in that much pain. You have to do it. Yeah, I know. I know. I would blame you.

God damn it. Yeah, fuck, man. That face. Do you know Black Salami, by the way? I don't think we've ever brought this up to you. No, what's that? You want to see some big, black, lazy dick? Let me show you some dick.

Look at the size of his car. That's why they call him Black Salami. Black Salami. Is this a gay porn? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally gay. But do you don't know what caused the green shit or you do?

The medication. It was the medication. The meds. Wow. When I stopped taking it, stopped being green. Caused in effect. You saw that, Miss. Yeah, wow, wow.

So wait. So you had someone shit on you in Germany? Is that what you said? Or you shit on someone? I mean, I keep hearing Jim Norton talking about it. Like, oh, I'll try. I don't want to be like. He's done it.

Jim? Jim is famous for that. Yeah. I didn't know that. Of being shit on or shitting? Shitting on. And that's one of his kinks. He likes that.

He loves it. Really? What's the, what do you think? Are you serious? You never heard this before? No, no. We love Jim. But I, no.

And it sounds not cheap. Like he paid two, three, four hundred bucks for something. Oh, I figured that was real cheap. I figured 20 dollars for that. I take a shit on him. Yeah. I think there's a lot of people that would take a shit on someone. God damn it.

Okay. So anyway, so like, Like shit porn. And you know, there's like Germans, like the kind of shit that like stick on your body where it's a Japanese, like the slippery shit kind of bands off your chest. Hmm.

Hmm. And do you put a tarp on? Well, does Jim put a tarp on him? I think so. Or skin to skin. Like one of those. Brown to brown. Clear plastic bag.

Oh, so the shit doesn't actually hit him? I don't think so. I think, I think he told me like clear plastic over his chest. Well, I have, I've had a, an idea for an art expo for years that I really want to make happen, which is that like we go into like a warehouse. Okay. And like, so it has like 60 foot ceilings, right?

Right. And then up on a, a level, like let's say 30 feet up, it's a glass walkway. Yeah. And there's four glass toilets. Yeah. With glass tubing. Yeah.

And then we have different people with different body builds, different races. And they go up there and they, they just shit and everybody below watches it fall down. So you have like a big fat white guy, a skinny Asian girl, and then, so it's just like a shit expo. I think that would be really interesting to see. Really neat idea.

Tom, I'm very impressed. That's very clever. Thank you. Now this could be like your TED expo and. I mean, I think it's very, it's, it's more for the artsy crowd. It's not just, you know, the actual. I really don't know. I know this is a strategy, but I don't know what it is

about German culture, but like they, they have fetish for us. By the way, this is what's keeping me off of ESPN, I think. This audio. Maybe. Yeah. The Germans are known for Scheisse porn. They love it, right?

I wonder what that is now. Michael, Michael Lewis talked about in his book during the German financial crisis, and he even said in Frankfort, one of the building looked like giant toilet throne, but you know, it go back in their religion, but yeah, it's something to do with Martin Luther. I mean, I mean, you're, oh, you okay? Yeah, it's fine.

Oh, the. He just sits on your weird. So I don't know what it is, but at least they don't have a shame about it, which I like, you know, it's like, that's a like a normal body function. And anytime you make that weird, you're causing more problem, you know, so. Yeah, it's better to normalize it.

I think so too. That's art. You know what? That's been our mission all along at your mom's house. It's always been a higher goal, right, Tom? Absolutely. It's not just that we like time to make it. Yeah.

Well, you know, we tried to help that kid Diego. Yeah, we did help Diego. Right. Yeah. So that's Diego's a guy we found online who wants to get into fart porn and put his phone number out there and we kind of put it out to our listenership. And why, why do you think what's the psychology behind it?

Like I'm not making any sort of judgment thing, but why, why do you think they're. What is it about it that you think they like? I don't know. I wish somebody could explain that to me. I know me. Honestly, I can't be, I don't know because my, my spectrum doesn't go.

I don't know. I can't even empathize with it. Like I have a hard time even with farting. With sexualizing. Yeah. Excuse me if I'm getting emotional, but please I'm praying that if any white males out there listening, I'm 31 years of age, I'm not drinking and the videos I made, I was never drinking

and I was serious and this is not a joke. Please, I live and fill up your Pennsylvania and right now this is the middle of October. Christmas will be like in two months. Please, please. It's not, it's still like warm here. Is that, is that the Diego guy you were talking about? Yeah, that's him.

Yeah. So you, you talked to him before. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is not bullshit. This is not bullshit. No, no, no, no.

Hey, you know, if that's what he's into, it's not harming anyone. No, no, no. We're very pro whatever you're into, for sure, at this show. Yeah. But I don't know, man. It's so different from Joe Rogan's podcast. What? He's trying to save the world.

Here we are talking about trainees and asshole in farts. We're trying to help the world too, you know. Yeah, we're trying to help the world in our own way. But yeah, that's, that's our little, our little boy Diego, our, our, our farts son. Wait, so, um, do you guys already find out? A little beautiful guppy. So it's going to be a little boy. It's a boy.

Yeah. Thank God. Chinese people approve. I'm so happy. The what? Chinese people approve. That's right. Of course.

Yeah. Yeah, dude. There's going to be so many farts and balls and dicks in my house. I'm ready for it. I'm excited. I can't wait because I think Tom's going to be taking him to football games. Can't wait. Of course.

Do you think you'll ever have a girlfriend, Yosh? I have a lot of close female friends, but, um, does this make sense? You know, in Japan, they don't have a predominant religion. You, you, every, the three major ones has different things. You know, if you're getting married, you use Shinto rituals. If somebody dies, Buddhist rituals and day-to-day ethical way of dealing with people and being kind to people with Confucianism, right?

I like, I don't really like, I like having sex with the girls. I don't have like a relationship with them. I like having female friends here, but like, I don't want to mix sex with them because that's a, it always complicates things, I think. You think so. So you don't think you could have a friendship and an emotional intimacy with someone and have sex with them? Like you, you like to separate too?

I like, I like emotional intimacy with that person, but not, I think once you bring sex, like that's my history, like we get mad at each other or not friends anymore. But I think sex would ruin the, uh, the intimacy of, of a friendship, of a relationship. Oh yeah, I think so. I mean, that's, that's my, but believe me, I'm crazy. So I have problems, you know, uh, but, um, um, yeah, you know, obviously it's a problem, but I just got to work. Well, so it's, you're working around it though.

It sounds like it's working for you, whatever you're doing. So I do have female friends, you know, like, um, you know, my friend Hosanna just been back in New Zealand. She's really fun talking to her, you know, and I, I, uh, obviously, uh, Len Hedberg's, you know, wife, ex-wife. And I, I, I love talking to her. You guys are friends? Yeah.

And like, I love talking to you. I adore you. And like, uh, Aiko Tanaka, Rosie Tran, they're like my kids' sisters, you know? Yeah. But, um, I do have female friends, but like, I don't know how to do that. How to cross, like how to have both, um, sexual and intimate. It's just not, it's not happening in your brain. I'm friend with Sasha Gray and then I, I, I, I like adore her too.

But like, I, I never could even imagine thinking of her sexual way at all. Yeah. You think of her strictly platonic? I like having those relationships more than having sex with a girl, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I will say over the years, we've known you now for a while. You come into the show.

This is probably the mellowest and, and, and, um, you seem very balanced. You seem like you're in a good place right now. Is that, is that accurate? Yeah. You know, it's, it's primary because, um, I'm ending my podcast and there's been, been the stuff that, uh, been bothering me for a long time, but I'm going to talk about it the second to last episode. Why are you, are you ending it because you're going abroad?

No, it's, it's, um, it started feeling like work, you know, and, um, I'm getting burned out and I don't want to just put stuff on the full sake of just putting it out there. But I'll be happy just ending it. But yeah, I've been thinking about this for like last year or so. And like, I know exactly what I want to talk about, but stuff that I never talked about. I mean, kind of mentioned a little bit to you guys and people who are close to me, but, um, that, that, and, and this near and a positive thing, you know, like, I think I could move on. And I'm 46 and like, I'm finally reaching like a great fucking serious.

I feel more comfortable, amazing place, you know, but you dye your hair. No, great. That's just, dude, you look great. Probably those medical testing stuff. I'm not even joking. I'm not even joking. This is crazy. Wow. Hookers keep you young.

But you, you didn't know like having, I don't have to explain myself. You're never judgmental. You will say like, you know, I mean, you, you were concerned for me and like you said, like, you know, I don't want to lecture you, but if you want to help, I have a good therapist. You know, like you were, you were never yelling at me or trying to force me to do anything. And that's all I ever want from anyone. You know what I mean? Like, I know that you cared and I care about you guys and you're very kind,

but with me screaming, yelling like the way my temp, temp, she was relationship with Dave Cho, that, that shit doesn't never work for me. That shit will never work for me. Do you guys speak at all anymore or no? It's, it hasn't, it's been a while. I haven't talked to him since April of 2013. Oh wow. Okay.

I text him once when he got in trouble for the whole rape then last year. But, um, And did you get a response back or no? Yeah. He, uh, you know, it was just like a casual thing. You know, he said something stupid. It never happened. He's not a sexual rapist at all.

He's just been making up some stupid story and the old outraged group website got mad at him. You know, and, uh, you know, I could say crazy stuff. I never have to worry. You know, I say, I'm, you know, I kind of, I say, all kinds of racial, sexual, crazy stuff. That shit. I will never worry if people are getting mad at me, but he has money and no, uh, you know, famous, you know, like he shouldn't be saying that because he, I have no money. Like you want to sue me?

Go ahead. I don't give a shit. You know, so. Yeah. Oh gosh. Um, but yeah, I feel like I'm in a better place. I'm ending it, uh, in January. I talk about everything.

In fact, once I talk about it, I liked you to listen to it. I love to do the philosophy podcast. Talk about it. 01:43:37,380 --> 01:43:38,020 Yeah. Well, let me, let me know when you're ready. Oh, you guys could pick any number of topics. You know what we should do?

Why don't we do prostitution? Dad, and you know, uh, I'd like to talk about that the episode I did prostitution, but the third one is, uh, there's like five or six. All Japanese movies I would like you to watch. They're amazing. And, uh, um, We'll write them down. I'll watch them.

By the way, uh, we didn't bring about, this is a, uh, a news story that came about, um, about a week ago, we didn't do it in our last episode that a man in Texas is accused of assaulting his girlfriend after she refused to smell his armpit. CBS seven reports that Robinson, Paniah Bolivar's girlfriend said the argument started while she was washing dishes and he asked her to smell his armpit. When she refused an argument reportedly ensued, she was hit in the back of the head with a closed fist and held up against a knife. Um, he was arrested at a traffic site.

He told authorities he did not threaten the woman that he threw the knife into sink angrily is being held on $25,000 bond. My whole thing basically is just, What do you find? It's only smells. It's okay. It's only smells. It just smells, you know.

Is that in Florida? Uh, this was, I think, I think it was Texas, right? Wow, close enough. It's, uh, yeah. Midland, Texas. I just feel like you have to respect your partner and find out what she likes and you got to work with around that. Yeah.

I mean, what, in that situation, your girl, she wants you to smell her armpit, but you don't like armpits. What do you do there? You just don't force her. Like I like licking armpits, but some girls are not into that. I'm not gonna. Do you really? Yeah.

That's your, that's a thing. Now do you like it to be, now if it has deodorant, doesn't that? It doesn't bother me. I mean, I wouldn't like if she didn't take a shower for a long time, but if she just worked out and she's got that like a work down. That fresh musk. I did that, that doesn't bother me at all. That's kind of the best part.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you like, but I'm saying if there's deodorant caked on her, then you're just kind of getting a chemical taste, right? I mean, I wouldn't like it, but I'm not gonna be upset or anything. But you prefer a nude. Yeah. Now do you like it?

You could literally taste what's going on in her body, I think. Really? It's like a credit report, really. A credit report. If she's eating bad, like, sometimes when you're licking a pussy and it tastes sour, yeah, it's a diet thing. You know what I mean?

Oh, right. Or the smell, whatever. And I'm not attacking women with smell because I think guys come, gross to tell me like something right with that diet. You know? They can tell right away. Oh, yeah. And like a lot of my gay friends tell me like their boyfriend or husband's

come tastes weird. Do they know there's some lifestyle things going on? Sure, absolutely. And how did, did you stumble onto liking armpits? Or did you? It's like taste change over the years, right? Like there are things like, well, when you're younger, you didn't like certain food and the change.

And I think sexually you changed too, you know? So you didn't know you liked armpits though for a long time? I mean, I don't know who I asked me to try it. It was a prostitute and I tried it in it and like... You liked it? Yeah. What the fuck did I just miss? Well, that he actually likes armpits.

You like armpits? Yeah. Yeah. Oh man, the smellier the better or do you like them deodorized? I'm not into like bad smell, but like if it's, like I was telling Tom, like if it smells like she just worked out, that doesn't bother me. Because that's fresh sweat. That's what I was saying.

That's not bad. Yeah. But like day, like days and days, do you like a ripe? No. No. No. But he said that you can basically taste what's going on in her body. Like...

For sure. Like in the armpit, it's just like on her cooch. Yeah. You can, like you can tell something's going on with the diet. Absolutely. How do you know this? Because being pregnant, like your, your body changes so much. Sure.

I feel like I smell different. Just everything coming out of me smells different. And there's stuff like a glow to you. Thanks. I don't know what that is. You're beautiful. But you're, my shit smells different. My farts, my sweat.

Well, I mean, obviously you're shitting for two people. Yeah. So your ass was on overtime right now. Browning for two. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's totally, it's all connected. And your diet for sure. Yeah.

For sure. Didn't we have a friend who, when the husband ate McDonald's, she could smell it in his sweat? Oh, I bet. Yes. Or in his farts. In his fart. In the fart.

He farted and she was, she would go, you ate McDonald's today. Yeah, ask Diego. I'm sure guys who are vegetarian, their farts smells different from another. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But this, my friend said he was like caught, you know. He would be like, he'd fart and she would go, you ate McDonald's today.

And he was like, oh. Whoa. Whoa. Ass worshiper. Yeah. Yeah. Whisper running. Yeah.

01:48:35,460 --> 01:48:36,260 She knew. She knew right away. That's too much though. I would hate to do that. But you do eat, like even though if you're alone, you eat a, whatever. Certain foods, bad food, you eat fart, you're like, oh. My impression is like too much meat and alcohol is not a good combo.

It's not good. Yeah. Yeah. Beer. Stakes. Whenever I have a big steak, I get those beef farts where you're like, ooh. Your beef farts are horrible. Yeah.

They are really something, man. You know what makes you fart a lot too is like salads, like kale. When we have salad at home, you really, I don't like those farts. 01:49:07,380 --> 01:49:08,500 As soon as you eat. Hot and sticky. You know it too. It's just, it's pretty immediate, you know.

Yeah. Like doesn't take that long to get into effect. I mean, sometimes it's the seafoods too. Yeah. Like it'll be something I don't expect, but like I'll go get sushi or something. And then I think it's, you know, that's different bacteria. It's different, you know, working in your system, your guts. And then immediately those, those farts and those dumps.

I don't know what it is. I mean, I can't say about every Asian person, but at least Japanese people, we don't really sweat like other. No, no, I know. And Asians don't sweat. And deodorant is not a big business in Japan either. Dirty and disgusting. And you guys aren't as fat.

And I think part of that is cause you don't eat dairy. There's no cheese in your diet. Oh, yeah. Maybe. You think that's it? I think part of it is, yeah. You guys eat like protein and vegetables, right? Eat the poo poo.

Yeah. Not so much the Chinese. Yeah. Eat is a poo poo. It's true. All right. Well, I think we should wrap this up. Oh, okay.

Yoshi, any last, anything else you wanted to. To wrap it up or plug. It's a fart medley. Last, only thing I have is I'm working on two comic books. One guy, Anthony Bench, he's coming up to pick me up as we speak. Oh, good, good. He's working on my medical testing thing. He wanted me comic book on that.

And my friend, Mark Jones, he is his sister's married to Jonathan Branstad, who is the Patrice and Jim Doran's manager. But I told him some, I was talking to him one time about, it's kind of like science fiction and philosophy. He liked it so much, he wanted to make a comic book out of it. Oh, cool. That's great. That's really cool.

So that's pretty much it. I've been doing podcasts, going on the road. I've been doing more headlining gigs. Good for you. Just doing shitty venues, but I've been doing a lot of that. You got to flex that muscle though. So it's been good here. And I mean, I like to thank Randy Puga,

who let me stay at his place for over a year. And he's been very supportive. And we're ready to open a room in K-Town. Stand up. So if you guys ever want to come down. That would be great. That'd be great, yeah. So yoshididit.com.

I'm doing it with Angie Crumb. That's another person I'm working with. Okay. So we're going to be able to find you, yoshidit.com, right? Yeah. And at yoshiobayashi. On Twitter. And if they want to help me with the illegal magazine, and if you have an idea for articles,

you want to help people with the drug issues, you know, dumbyoshiadgmail.com. Or Twitter, kind of Facebook. Dumbyoshiadgmail.com. All right. That's funny. No, it's just funny, man. And I'll be doing shows in Europe.

But thanks, guys. I love doing this show. You guys never make me nervous. You're not judgmental. Your fans are so cool. They love you. They're just so fun. Sweetest little guppies you could ever imagine.

We love you too. Yeah, we do love you. It's always funny to your mom's house. And by the way, since we moved to the studio, it's awesome. You're the first guest. We still haven't put even all our things for the wall or still in boxes.

And last thing is like, when I was downstairs looking at the sign, we're like, you know, room 101, CPA, just whatever. YMH. It looks cool. It looks like it's a real official thing. Yeah. Yeah. They have no idea what we're doing here.

They have no idea. If nobody has any clue. All right. As always, thank you guys for listening to the show. Please go to your mom's house podcast.com. Thompson girl.com for my live shows and thousand ranch.com for Christina's. It was great to have the great Yoshio Bayashi here.

And we'll see you next time. Bye. Cheese, cheese, you know you've got a pull on my pie. Mommy's with bleachy smiles that light up the sky. Cheese connection. I'm wiping down, I'm wiping down. I'm wiping down because that's what's up. I'm thinking of you.

I really don't want you to see me. If you want to see me. So fill her up. Just fill her up. And then see the world shut. Cheese, cheese, you know you've got a pull on my pie. My heart has to rebel into a top dark parade. Cheese connection.

I'm wiping down, I'm wiping down. I'm wiping down because that's what's up. Cheese connection. Just fill her up. And then see the world shut. I'm wiping down because that's what's up.