Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Your Dad’s House w/ Ryan Sickler | Your Mom's House Ep. 872
Episode Date: August 12, 2026SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Go to https://helixsleep.com/ymh for 20% Off Sitewide For simple, online access to personalized and affordab...le care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/YMH For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com. Well, Tom is back in the Mommy Dome for the first time since the news, and longtime friend Ryan Sickler is in the chair with him. Tom addresses the divorce head-on: why he and Christina have been recording separately for months, getting the TMZ call, and why nobody "made" Christina go first. He also opens up about the state of his DMs, which include a kindergarten teacher looking to "help each other out" and Ryan's own mother, who, Ryan promises, means Tom can get dicked down in Delaware any time. Tom then opens the show with a dude declaring that anyone who doesn't drink their coffee black is gay, which sends Tom and Ryan into the world of men fighting the internet: a guy debunking AI edits of himself kissing dudes, Daddy Lalogon begging TikTok to stop calling him daddy, and Pastor Manning back at the pulpit with a fresh "get a job" sermon (plus the Suede remix) while the guys debate how many people are actually in that church. Tom also pitches Ryan on the next dads-and-kids trip: a family resort in the Philippines where the giant Hulk statue's fully detailed dick doubles as a pool fountain, and the owner cannot stop posting slow-tilt reveals of it. Tom develops a whole theory about the man's artistic vision and wants to send a YMH field team to get more details. They also spiral into junkyard Instagram where a guy solving car problems with half-sticks of dynamite and another launching full propane tanks out of a cannon. Plus some horrible or hilarious clips and a debate about Catholicism for the ages. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 872 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro00:00:19 - Tom Addresses The Divorce00:11:04 - Opening Clip: Milk In Your Coffee00:17:06 - Not Gay It's AI00:23:18 - Sickler Meets Pastor Manning00:35:37 - Summer Trip & Guys Blowing Shit Up Online00:47:30 - The Hulk Is Packing01:00:19 - Clip: Relapse Blame01:01:00 - Horrible Or Hilarious01:07:50 - Battle With Catholicism01:16:10 - Crashing Zoom Meetings01:19:41 - Ryan Sickler's Special01:22:15 - Closing Song - "Daddy Lalogon" by Stoner Stag Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
All right. We are back and this is my first podcast here in a while.
I know that a lot of people obviously heard the news and saw last week's episode where Christina hosted it.
And I don't feel a need to like say a lot to people.
But it bothered me that a lot of people were like,
oh, I can't believe you would make her go address this alone or like do this on her own, you know, which couldn't be further from the truth.
The truth is that like we have been recording separate episodes for a long time now.
because everything that people know is not new to us.
It's, you know, it's been many, many months.
So this is not like brand new to us.
It's new, I guess.
Wait, you guys didn't just decide that day to get a divorce and tell the world.
It wasn't that day.
Oh, okay.
That's why I hear the whole time I'm thinking, man, this happened today.
This just happened.
It's, yeah, it was.
A big life decision like that.
I'm like, take it to the internet.
Yeah.
It was many months.
And we record separately.
So her episode was first after our return.
So she addressed it first.
It was never like, hey, you go handle this.
It was just kind of the timing of how that worked.
And we both decided to record separately.
That's just what we're doing.
It's been a horrible experience.
So I just wanted to let people know it's privately, it's horrible.
It's a long experience.
It's emotionally a roller coaster.
Your emotions change often many times in a day.
If anyone's ever been through it or knows anyone, it's like it's not, you don't feel the same all the time.
And it's really tough on you.
Like personally, it's really tough.
Going, having it be public is, it's awful.
You know, I can only tell you that it's awful.
I mean, when I see, you know,
your tom and christina from back in the day to me still as well yeah video games till 5 o'clock in the
morning i gotta call in sick you guys are in that little shanty out back of that dude's house and redondo
christina's invite me over for real meals yeah i'm dodging bullets on carondelet just to come over
and say hi and see john goodman above the toilet like it breaks my heart this is my first real
divorce i don't want to make this about me but my parents were divorced but man when my dad divorced my mom we were
like fuck yeah this one's really tough for me right here i'm really torn on this i know man it's uh
it's it's tough it's tough it's been tough it's been really tough it's been really tough and um
to see it on TMZ it's oh it's so it's terrible man they keep using fat pictures of you on
purpose
which i do kind of like
she they keep putting the fat with you up bro there's a library out there's somebody's
God out there.
I'll tell you, it's, I'll tell you, too.
It's like, we wanted, we, we wanted to be private.
Like, that's how we were handling everything, right?
It's like a private matter.
And the day you get a phone call from your publicist going, hey, TMZ has, like, got wind of this,
and they're going to run a story.
You're like, what?
Can I be honest.
Yeah.
I was hoping you guys did that old, who's the rat in the bunch trick, where you told
everyone, your people in your inner circle.
You were getting a divorce and you really weren't.
And then it went to TMZ and you'd be able to figure out who that fucking person was.
No, it wasn't like that.
Obviously, it's not.
So I'll just say that it's very hard.
And I personally am not somebody who has, is the type of person that's like, let me be an open book about life, my life, my private life.
Some people are.
I actually feel like, you know, you're more of that.
Like, you'll share things.
And there's people that are, like, that's their skill set even, that they open.
open up about everything. I've never been that guy.
It's more trauma-based for me. I wouldn't call it a skill set.
Well, I, I've never, I've never been that guy.
This is funny. Listen, I'm very honored and grateful to be here to be the one to talk to you about this because we go, I knew you and Christina before you were Tom and Christina. You know, we go way back. And, you know, it's difficult. It's difficult to sit here and see, you know, just,
what's happening to you guys publicly, privately, all of it.
And I am no one to critique.
I haven't had a successful relationship.
I haven't had one.
I haven't had one.
I told you before.
I've had tires that last longer than relationships I'm in, bro, for real.
Like a good radio, a solid fucker, good seven-year tire.
That's, I mean.
Yeah.
So I can't sit here and critique, judge, nothing like the internet does.
I've never been married.
I've been engaged and that shit.
I mean, what I'm trying to tell you?
I have not done well with this.
So my heart goes out to both of you.
I understand like the kids, all of it.
I get it.
Yeah.
And it sucks.
But here's the other thing.
Two things.
If you have been a fan of this show and you've been listening to Christina Pee,
you know damn well.
Thompson Gord didn't make her do anything.
Now, of course not.
Anything.
Christina would be the first one.
I'd be like, fuck you.
You're going to go first.
first or we'll do this together or whatever it is no without question she would have a say in that the other
thing is i'm going to take a sip here because i'm getting upset as a fan of this show and coming up with
watching you guys build this thing from you know little bedrooms and all this empire you have
fucking turned this into you guys have changed the game of comedy you have broke the code you have
what you've done as a power couple has been amazing it's been a fucking amazing and as a fan of
of the show watching you guys go from not having kids, you know, to a family.
I know 10% of the trolls are shit, but the rest of us are just, you know, we're heartbroken
that, you know, you guys are sort of the North Star, especially in entertainment.
And, you know, it makes a lot of people feel a certain way like, well, fuck, if they can't,
can we, you know, 20 years, 20 years, two fucking decades is a long time.
So I understand where those people are coming from.
And it's, you know, they've grown with you guys.
I understand it too.
You know, but the trolls are the trolls.
I understand, look, I actually understand all.
I understand all of it.
I understand the people that are like just heartbroken.
And I understand the trolls and people, like, it's not something I can't wrap my head around.
It's part of how it goes.
I totally get it.
I just also will just want to tell you this to reiterate that, like, we're not combative.
Like, we talk every day.
just for people know that like this is like I support Christina and everything she does she supports me
and our focus as you would imagine is just on our children and um you know we're just trying to provide
the best life we can for them and we're trying to take care of them and I personally you know
you're not going to see me doing interviews or podcasts or press about this this for me is like again
And this is me addressing what it is and how it's been and it's been terrible.
And I don't feel like I need to keep talking about this.
This is it for me.
I'm not going to talk about this.
You know, whether some people are okay with some or not.
It is what it is.
Like I'm going to just be focused on what I do.
And like I said, taking care of the kids.
And Christina and I continue to do that.
And we talk to each other and we're fine with how.
things are moving along as disappointing as it is. It is what it is, like, in that regard.
I don't know what else to say about it. Can I ask you a question? Sure. What are your DMs
like right now? What are your DMs? It's, I'm sorry, that's the wrong job. I'm sorry. That's the wrong drive.
Was that a DM? Who left that man? It's, it's, it's insane, dude. I've never,
answered anybody um what's some of the wildest shit i mean like off the wall like you're just like
what the fuck guys guys guys are guys is something i hadn't considered genuinely guys who are like
what's up bro it's time you're free you're free you're free to be gay i'm like huh
and then you're like this is what women go through yeah yeah they're like i'll eat your ass out
guys are wanting to eat your ass yeah it's insane
It's insane. No, it's great. I mean, I don't like, I don't, I'm good, man. I'm really good. You don't have to do that. Thank you. You don't have to-you-sure? Yeah, please don't message me.
Because my mom hit me up, wants to know if you're fucking.
You're her favorite comedian, bro. She's shit when she saw me.
Are you being serious?
Your mother?
My mom loves you, bro.
Shut up.
You're being serious?
Yeah. I'm being serious.
If you ever.
do a show in Delaware, bro.
I'm telling you, you can get dick down in Delaware.
You can get dick down in Delaware.
I can even know a band that could open for you.
Jesus.
How's your mom now?
I don't think she's approaching 80.
I'm not sure, to be honest, it might be 70.
It can't be 70.
I'm 53.
It's got to be 80.
Yeah, she's still, she's eight.
Okay, look.
Let's just, I'll just, I'll, let's just,
I'm moving on.
You can see, bro, if you're going to be my stepdad, this is going to be wild.
This is going to be wild.
What do you mean?
Like, if you're banging my mom, I mean you're pretty much my stepdad.
Like, it's going to be.
You can see Ryan at Ryan Sickler.com.
Watch my special.
Live and a live.
Stream now on my YouTube.
Come see me on the road.
Ryan Sickler.com.
Honeydew way back, all that.
Don't forget to see Duncan also, Duncantrustle.
dot com.
Okay.
Here's,
you know how this works.
I'm gonna play you
the opening clip.
Yeah,
let's do it.
Here we go.
Where am I?
Hold on real quick.
Where am I here?
If you're not,
you're gay.
Fuck you.
If you don't drink it black,
you're gay.
You understand me?
Fuck you.
Who is Randy?
Don't bring anyone
Mother
Don't see.
Sometimes.
Half the thigh.
Everyone.
How do you drink your coffee?
I don't drink coffee.
Ever?
I'm not a coffee guy.
You never were?
I don't...
Hey, I'm not gay.
I don't fucking put milk at it.
That's true.
No, I've never been a coffee drinker.
I don't speak coffee.
Like, you know, I used to work in the offices.
You don't do a pourover?
I'm like, what the fuck is an ad shot and a pour over?
And yeah, I don't know any of that shit.
Like, I really don't.
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And I remember, though, watching my grandmother make it.
I love the smell of it.
I love it in the air.
It's great.
Yeah, I love that.
But I also like the fucking smell of a match strike and a cigarette.
Just the first, the first, before all the poison gets in it, that tobacco.
Or a match strike also smells amazing.
But I watched my grandmother, God, what was the old school?
You don't have any caffeine?
Yeah, Diet Coke is my caffeine.
Oh, but like in the morning, do you drink one?
Diet Coke is my fucking coffee.
No shit.
So you're at 7 a.m. you're like Diet Coke.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Because also, I'm glad.
I know that's not healthy, but it's not Kool-Aid.
But it's also, my grandmother used to have these little tins.
Was it carnation or something?
the little flavored, like, powder you'd put in your coffee back in the day.
And I started watching her do that.
And then when I started working in the office, I'm watching people just, just chug caramel in it and shit.
I'm like, oh, my God, that's, that is exactly how I would drink coffee, a fucking liquid candy bar.
I'm so glad I don't.
But, I mean, I'll have, like, three a year or something like that, you know.
And I like an ice coffee.
I don't like hot coffee.
I like some ice coffee, too.
I found out that, like, that is maybe the gayest thing about me is that I like, well, that I like it year-round.
was told that like gay guys also like to drink cold coffee year round. I didn't know that.
Is that right? I just like cold drinks and I like it with extra ice. I like that it's that.
That it's 2026 and it's still one of like the prime insults is like you're fucking gay.
That still gets people. And it's over shit like if you put milk in your coffee. Yeah. Do you drink milk?
Fucking gay. That's considered gay.
But see, I think he genuinely when he says it says it like you're fucking a guy.
I don't think he's talking to women
when he says that. I think it's strictly
to men only.
Also the funny thing about how
if you don't enjoy
something, the flavor
of something. The way I do.
The way I do, that says something about your sexuality.
Yeah. And you're gay. Yeah. You're totally
gay. You're not bi.
No. You're not poly. You're gay.
You like a little cream in your coffee.
You're a homosexual.
Some people, it's like all they get
all day is people telling them they're gay.
like hey man i just want to tell everybody do look look look the shit on here about me where they're making it
where i'm looking like i'm kissing the guy that's all a i'm sorry brother i'm not okay i mean
tell you i got to tell you people man hey look here everything you see that is made up like that
is a i it is not real at all not real at all every bit of it's fake and they're full of shit i love
women and uh that a i i don't know man but it's not me bro that's a lie so they're doing that
thing to him where they're doing, they take his image. And you've seen like where they AI put another
guy there and that he is now, which I'm sure his whole entire following is just people being like,
all right, let's do some more AI kissing stuff because it got to him. And that's, do you think that guy's
gay? The outfit could be, you know. The shark tooth fucking necklace screams queer. I mean, it really does.
It fucking screams it. The tank top with the hat is also kind of gay. It screams. It screams. Like if I saw this
dude and they were just like is this guy gay or straight my guess would be gay I'd say probably
yeah probably gay after he spoke I'd be like yeah more I'm leaning more likely yeah it's I'm more
convinced but it can take somebody down if you're just like you know this AI trend of uh well just
that like how that is still like because you remember when we were like an elementary school
like the worst thing would be like that dude's gay and you were like anything to let like that would
be like that was like the prime insult I'm gonna be honest it wasn't for us really no
not to that point. We, if you just did something, we're like, you're so gay. It was just that. And no one took it serious. No one ever was like that kid's gay. I mean, we, honest, this is the truth. It's interesting because I'm telling you in our whole circle of friends. Yeah. We never pointed out the actual gay guy that we knew we knew was gay. We would just call you gay. Well, that's what I mean. You know, you're like, you're so fucking gay. Yeah. You so gay is like, is how people would. And some people would. My dad would like, go right to Lee. You're like, you're so gay. You're so gay.
guy. Yeah, that, it was just a response.
Well, I feel like amongst kids,
they would still, like, light people up.
Yes. You're gay.
And then you'd be like, no, I'm not.
Like, that was the thing. And then here we are in this age
where it's like, this is still the guy being like,
I'm not, don't call me that, I'm not gay.
And then sometimes people get, like, you know,
really defensive.
Like, let me see, here, this.
Hey, it was good, everybody.
It's a lot of looking at Brasier here. But look,
I just came on here real fast and say something to all of you guys.
all of you guys really disrespecting me yesterday
by commenting in my comment section,
Daddy not gone and Daddy chill.
Bro, I really told you guys that is real disrespectful
when you guys tell me that, bro.
Don't be commenting no Daddy chill.
Don't comment no Nodegon.
Stop telling me Daddy chill.
Stop commenting all that stuff under my post.
You guys.
I like women.
Please stop trying to make me look bad on this platform.
You guys, stop commenting to Daddy under my post.
You guys, please.
That's all I ask for you guys to respect.
Can you imagine telling the Internet,
please just show me respect.
Like that's what he's doing.
He's thinking they're like, oh.
Yeah.
He just wants to be respected.
Anytime you're telling a wave of dickheads not to do
insert thing here.
They're doing it.
They're doing it in force.
For sure going to ramp up.
It's for sure.
Oh, though.
Had some time and shit back and dick last night,
I don't know if you guys are doing it to phone or if you guys are doing it on purpose.
I don't know.
Perplexed.
He's purpliced.
Me personally, I do not go that with you guys.
I am.
Look at it.
his hashtag, stop calling me daddy.
Look how many people are liking it and shit.
This guy's got some action.
Yeah.
He's a lot of gone, baby.
I just got back from doing a yard today.
I just had one yard to get done.
But look, I'm going to tell you guys for the last kid.
Stop commenting that BS under my post.
Boy, all that daddy stuff and all that vote.
And I'm talking to mostly you guys, both the guys.
It's mostly got, no shit.
You guys are mad or weird.
They got somewhere else.
We'll comment that under somebody else's post, bro.
He's so mad now.
I'm telling you, bro, I'm talking to you for the last time.
Talking to you.
What's the matter of lonely, bro?
Stop doing it.
Just...
Hey, what's up for everybody on TikTok?
It's me, Lola.
I'm ready.
But anyways, I got another message for everybody because I see a lot of you guys keep joking on my name.
So I'm here to tell you guys the little stuff that you guys keep doing in my comment section and I'm going to address it.
Bro, I'm not your guys as daddy.
You guys call me Daddy.
My name is Lalo Gambrazi.
I'm not your poppy.
I'm not your not gone.
Stop calling me or not gone, man.
I don't know. What is that?
What is that?
Don't even know.
And now you're asking me, Lolo, do you like guys?
No, I don't.
I'm straight.
That is like the formula for everyone to be like, all right, so it's that he's gay forever.
Yeah.
Thank you.
What does that mean?
Someone who has a big butt or large buttocks.
Not gone.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
So they're calling him.
I'm just going back in my mind now to the video before where the guy just made me laugh.
He goes, how many times I got to tell you?
many times are you fucking out there telling people you're not making out with dudes this guy oh
this is that guy i'm jumping on me here oh i know it i fucking know for sure they're doing that
that's my favorite right there he looks good he looked good there he's good right there
yeah what's this then they're doing that to him they should put this guy somebody
listen yeah mommies put this guy and daddy together
in a post and let's fucking go ahead and put that out there.
Let's do it.
Please.
Daddy, La La, go, oh, yeah.
Then what's this?
What's this then?
Can you imagine, too, then he's going to address this?
There's guys.
There'll be more.
We're like, here's a guy.
You're butt-fucking this guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Those pictures look real to me.
That's great.
It does look real.
Yeah.
They do look real.
This was earlier today.
That's how recent was.
He's always in the car kissing guys.
Dude, you, it's so funny.
We, when you got here, you mentioned this guy.
Hold on.
Oh, here he is.
One of our favorites, this guy has given up me so much joy.
It's actually the, I think, the drop that I played, which from this.
You can't matter.
He's niggas.
I've been working for 45 years.
A nigger just ain't going to do it.
He got an attitude about everybody.
This is in church.
everybody.
That is jerk.
Look, the mother Mary or whoever behind him
while he's saying this.
This is Jesse Lee Peterson's personal preacher.
This is pastor.
You got to get these guys together, man.
Me?
Yeah. I don't want any more.
Do you know how often I get hit up about that, dude?
So many people come up to me and are like, yeah, I saw you on that show.
I just was real.
I was like, man, just watch it.
You'll figure out what the fuck happened.
That's the best thing ever.
is watching that episode.
If you've never seen the Ryan Sickler episode
with Jesse Lee Peterson,
watching you go like,
where am, like, what is this?
You discovering where you are.
You or Josh Wolf putting me on blast.
And I was fucking, I peed next to him in the bathroom.
He's like five foot two.
And I thought he was like, you know,
either an operator or a guy worked in the office or something.
And when he came out and sat in the chair,
I'm like, you're the guy?
and then what came out of his mouth
and made it just kept getting weird
I was like come on
I did
but everything
everything
Pastor Manning
for the black man
Hey
here to get the black man
Then you got rap music
Okay so
So we know about that one
What's his name?
Pastor what?
Manning
Manning
It's the Atla church in Harlem
Yeah James David Manning
Dang
79 years old he's been he's been I guess preaching there for for a good long while
this one got a remix from Swade swayed swayed the remix god yeah you didn't see this
oh my god this is brand new to me right here get your ass a job get a job nigga
god Jesus up there Jesus is right there get a job nigger get a job nigger get a
Snag a job.
Well,
So that's...
That last one.
Swade always kills it.
Oh, shit.
But Pastor Manning delivers all the time.
Like, he's always hitting the hot button topics.
Do you know?
Sunday only? Is this weeknights? What is this? I actually
don't know. What I'm curious about? What denomination?
The camera is very clear. This is a, you know, I mean like it's a, that's a high-res,
that's a good, it's a good quality camera. Audio's great. Crystal clear.
So's his message. But, yeah.
Both of those are on point.
There's no confusion of what he said.
No confusion about what he said.
You're not like, huh, I wonder where he stands.
We should all go have Bible study after this to break down what he was saying.
I was like, I think we know what the fucking said.
We got it.
But you never hear a lot of chirping.
You don't hear a lot of applause or anything.
Sometimes you'll hear like a person.
They're scared.
There's a lot.
I mean, you don't.
Free bus ride.
Just constantly like.
Bring free.
Yeah, go to niggas again.
Church.
Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me.
Give me, give me.
So there's...
The murals behind him, as he's saying.
It's insane.
Always got a new suit.
Always.
How many suits is this motherfucker have?
Oh, my God.
It's got to be hundreds, man.
My grandfather was born a slave in 1862, 1863.
Inside of me, now, brothers, I'm not against y'all.
But I can tell you that I know the difference.
See, inside of me is my grandpa of Charlie.
the blood that's in him, that spirit that's in him, that swing low, sweet chariot, all of that
that was immersed in him and in his father, his grandfather, his forefather, all of that
strength.
Every time a child was born, they were born with that strength from their forefathers.
It's in me.
But the young men that are born today, they ain't got none of that.
I'm not against y'all.
I swear, I don't see it.
I don't, I see pussies.
I see pussies.
This is outrageous in church.
The bloodline.
Because their parents, their fathers weren't nothing.
Their mammas want nothing.
They ain't nothing.
And the children they have ain't nothing.
Have you seen young children today?
Have you seen adolescents?
Have you seen teenagers?
They have nothing.
They have nothing.
They have nothing inside.
They have no.
strength. They bowed down at the weakest damn thing. They don't want to work. They ain't got no
damn money and they're all hoarse. Have you seen them? Have you seen them?
Oh, that strength was passed down for my grandfather. I'm a man. Damn it? Passed down for me.
But if your dad didn't have it, you ain't got it. She's been listening to that speech for every year.
Now, we're going to pass the collection plate from left to right. Pussies only.
Pussies only.
He, um...
Yeah, but you heard that guy cough.
I did.
Do you think there's eight people out there?
Or that it's full?
It's a really good question.
I've wondered this because you never see a crowd shot.
You have noise.
All right, so let's really break it down.
It's echoey.
So I think it's a bigger room.
Yeah.
Which lends me to believe there's maybe 100, 200, maybe 500.
I don't know how big...
I'm sure we could look online and see how big this man's church is.
You would hear more kind of like background.
Unless they're all just terrified.
Well, yeah, if it's like Kim Jong-un level fear.
Yeah.
Well, they're just like...
Nobody ever says, no.
You know, you can be at churches and people will like...
Yeah.
Be like, mm-mm.
But they're...
We probably turn the camera around.
40 people attend.
I was about to say, you probably turn the camera out.
They're like 100 in wheelchairs.
It's just letting him vent.
Who came to camera, though?
Someone's running production on this.
That's production.
That is full production.
Yeah.
The sound again, I might look into this mic for my pocket.
It's so clear.
It's so clear.
Listen, let me tell you something.
You want to have sex with a lot.
You want to go inside of his lower intestines and pack whatever is in there.
Pack his dung.
Stack it all up by you pushing in there and pushing it.
You want to do that.
Knock yourself out, homie.
You want to pack another man's do-do.
That's your business.
If you find delight in that, I, I, I,
Mind it a bore it, but if that's what a pack of another man's do-do brings you on knock yourself out, bro.
Bro.
I just want to tell you the Bible says it's wrong.
The Bible says it's wrong.
But anybody else would have a brain would understand.
There must be something wrong with you to want to go inside another man's asshole and pack it done.
Don't that stuff get all over you?
I mean, that's what is there.
That's what that place is made for.
How on earth can you elevate that?
of guest past the man
and preaching.
There, go to the niggas again.
Okay.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
In church, it's crazy.
In church with Jesus on the
Pope is outrageous.
Yeah.
Please keep preaching.
This is the best, dude.
I mean, this never,
he never lets us down.
If you would have said before the internet,
no, there's this black preach in Harlem
that says the craziest shit
and this, this, this.
I'd have been like,
you're fucking foolish shit.
Yeah, especially you big in Harlem.
Yes, maybe in Alabama?
Yeah, yeah, maybe.
No, this is a hundred and twenty-fifth year.
He and Jesse Lee Peterson have to get together because he said his grandfather was a slave.
I'd like to hear what Jesse Lee Peterson has to say about that because slavery never existed according to him.
He goes, say.
You know what's funny?
Yeah.
He might be who he's preaching about to Jesse Lee Peterson.
Oh, right.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw Jesse, oh, man, he is so good at.
Really?
Trollin?
Yes.
To somebody to their face.
You're not a man.
Yeah, and the guy's like, I am a man.
And then he just goes, he just keeps laughing in their face.
And they're like, I am a man.
He's like, all back to the gay shit again.
Yeah, yeah.
Like a woman.
You emotional, you emotional like a woman is?
Yeah, he really takes them down, dude.
It's unbelievable.
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I don't know.
Did you take any, like, did you take a summer trip anywhere?
This year?
Yeah.
Yeah, I went to Palm Springs.
I've been doing this thing with some.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, Jim.
Yeah.
I was telling.
Dad's daughter's trip.
Yep.
Yeah.
I was mentioning a brandy because she knows of Jim.
And I was like, you know, fun little fact about Jim Grinstaff.
he's the first person you see in Cutman.
He's the guy hitting the heavy bag in Cutman.
So him, Shannon, who you've met as well, and our daughters.
It's not just dads and daughters.
It's really dads and kids.
I invited my brothers with their kids.
They couldn't come.
I invited my cousin, his kids.
They couldn't come.
There was someone else we asked,
just trying to get people from that we've known for,
you know, Shannon I've known since seventh grade,
Jim since ninth grade.
And it's just rare.
We have this huge circle of friends.
that go back to, I mean, my friend Matt Schilling and I go back to kindergarten.
Eric Snyder back to, you know, Eric back to six grade.
How's he doing?
He's doing good. He's doing good. He is. He just hit me up the other day.
He actually is doing very good.
Good.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, yeah, we go rent a house in Palm Springs. And this one, we'd be getting better at it.
You know, we have crabs come out. We have a crab feast there.
And we bring a little bit of the old to the new.
I know. I know. I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Sometimes a new haircut makes you feel nice.
That's just for us.
That's not.
I'm cramping.
That's just for us.
Pepsi.
Pepsi Mac.
How many you want?
You got like a 24 pack?
I did that this summer.
And, you know, it's a new tradition we've started because everyone's dead and all the old
traditions have died with them.
So I'm like, look, man, my last oldest relative died, Patty, rest in peace, Patty.
Is this the one that shit everywhere?
That was my grandma.
No, you make it sound like she did it all the time.
It was a one time instead.
Over coffee, actually.
That's why I don't drink coffee.
I have enough problems as it is.
But, yeah, we ship out crabs from Jimmy's famous seafood, best seafood in the country.
You can ship it all over the place.
and no, they're not paying me.
I love it that fucking much.
I'm a crab nerd.
And so, yeah, we do that.
And we're just there for like four or five days.
And we got a nice, this house ended up having,
they converted the garage to a full arcade, air condition.
So you don't have to leave.
You know what I mean?
You're there just hanging out, chilling in the water all day, grilling.
We had pickleball there.
We had put put on the side of the house.
So we did that.
And then I went back to Baltimore just recently.
I don't know if you've seen any of these little episodes.
I did, but I started a podcast.
Well, it's a little mini-series within the way back.
And I went back to Shannon's Junkyard, and I shot episodes in the Junkyard with my brothers
and friends.
People have been asking me to do it for years.
So I did that last summer, and there's about 13 episodes from that one last time.
I keep thinking about him because there's this account that I love.
Have you seen this account where this guy is in a junkyard, and he just puts like mini-sticks
of dynamite in cars?
No.
It's the fucking greatest.
As soon as he has to sell it.
I'm fucking getting it.
Oh, my God.
I fucking love this.
And he just blows shit up.
He just blows up cars.
It's the most...
Yeah.
I can't get enough of this.
I literally was...
Every time I scroll and I see this, I'm like, oh, this is what Shannon could be doing.
Dude, it's interesting because, you know, we put up an old way back seat.
I'll send you a picture.
You can put up if you want.
And we sit in a junkyard, and then I brought my brothers out.
I did see a clip of you guys.
Yeah, doing that.
And then I just went back and did another round with some more people.
It's like a little second series season of that.
And I was telling Ryan, I'm working on this in post right now,
but I went and I just sat in that junkyard,
and I started telling old stories just to Cameron and stuff like that.
It's been great.
Yeah, go to that, like where he's holding it.
This is how, this is this script.
If you guys are having trouble getting to the bulbs to the back of your headlights,
I have a simple solution for you.
Yeah, that's going to get you there.
What is that?
That's a half a stick of dynamite.
Yeah.
Like M80 or something?
M80's a quarter, so it would be an M40?
I don't know.
Or a one six?
This is all he does.
This is the page.
I love this page, dude.
I can watch this shit.
Oh, hell yeah.
Big cloud of smoke.
Seems like I got to the headlights.
To the headlights.
Check the damage here.
You got it.
As you can see, it worked just fine.
I can access my light.
The bulb is still there.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Dude, he does, if you go back to the account, he does it for, like, the headrests.
He does, there he put, like, a bottle of, like, dove.
He's like, it smells bad on the horn.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm going to teach you how to make it smell better.
All you need is a piece of dynamite.
That might be a full fucking piece, actually.
Look how big it is against that thup.
No.
It's got to be...
Is it half a step?
Is it half?
How do you buy that?
How do you buy that?
How do you buy that?
How do you buy this?
Where is he?
I don't know.
Michigan maybe?
We took the damage.
We're going to do a hand on rebutt guys.
But can you watch this all day?
Yeah, no, they all do this.
So I, um, like in, in, uh, there was a time when I worked at the junkyard and my one day was, it was a whole day.
Yeah.
Shannon's dad's like, your day today is to drive this motor into, I don't even remember where it was in West Virginia,
but I'm going deep.
I'm going four hours into from Maryland into West Virginia and back.
That's my eight hour day, basically.
And I see a fireworks place in West Virginia because they're not legal in Maryland on the way in.
And I'm like, I'm going to hit that on the way back.
And I'm just going to get a grip of shit.
Because, you know, we're going back to North Avenue.
There's no, we're just shooting bottle rockets at each other in the house and shit.
So I go in there.
You ask where you can get these things.
I go in a guy goes, you want to see something?
And I go, yeah.
And he takes me in the back.
And I'm telling you, he had a, it looked like a rocket.
He took a blanket and uncovered.
And I was like, oh, my fucking God, dude.
This reminds me of another one.
There's an account called Silent Pyrotechnics.
I don't, I'm following these after this.
No, dude.
There's a few that are amazing to watch.
There's the other guy that puts empty propane tanks into like, like a cannon.
Yeah.
And shoots them out.
Oh, okay, shoots.
I got you, I got you.
This guy here, look at, yeah, hit that first one on the left and put the volume on.
Listen to this thing go off, dude.
I've seen, I can't believe of these, I know all these accounts now.
Get the fuck out of here!
Yeah, listen to it.
Listen to that.
Look at how that goes up, dude.
Dude, we heard that after it explice.
What was that?
This is daytime, right?
But that's the howl on the way up?
Scroll down a little.
Scroll down.
Listen to that one in the middle there.
Imagine if you're just like in bed.
That's handheld.
Yeah.
But you're just like in bed and you're like trying to go to sleep.
Out of his car.
And you're like, holy shit.
I think we're getting attacked, right?
I would definitely think that was, yes, a missile.
The neighbors were under attack
declaring war in Mexico
I was going to say listen to the music
that's where you get that's where you buy that shit
in Mexico that's right
now these are incredible
that's nuts maybe that's my next trip
just going to buy
this guy
this dude is the one who does
oh it is full
oh it is full that's what I was saying
it's full
that thing will blow a half a city block up
This dude also casually talks standing in front of the cannon all the time.
He'll just be like, so we're going to let this thing go.
And look at him, his face is in front of it.
He's like, we're good.
It's a space it says.
Let me see this.
Dude, it's insane.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Holy shit.
If you find his account on Instagram, he launched them at a car the other day.
He launched five of them.
at a truck that was parked there
and like blew it up?
It went through the fucking thing.
It just tore it in half.
They'll blow through a city block of concrete.
This is him one pound every day.
That's fucking insane, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know which one it was.
Where does he get this shit?
Well, once he started doing this propane company,
started sending him empty propane tanks.
They were like...
And he just fills them and puts them in there.
And then they just, yeah, he just does them.
Yeah, hit one of those, dude.
there it's this just shows you I think how our brains are wire
all we want to see
this is this is what that thing looked like that that guy pulled the blanket off
like that big
like he
dude that black powder's lit
it's the first shot
it's going to go at the truck
propane tanks through this truck
until there's nothing left
he's talking in front of it yeah and I feel like it would take one to do
this look at him with straddling it putting it in face body ducking down
there's gonna be a video eventually that's boom and he's still talking like bro
get out of there holy shit I left the torch on the roof of the truck my back
what you leave on top the torch oh oh yeah are you amazed at
this damage.
Yeah.
It's a little cockathe.
This is like I have.
Yeah, we got the seat over here.
I don't see any propane.
Oh, there's one.
Oh, there's one.
Oh, there's one.
The rest of them blew through it.
Let's go check out the entrance wound.
Fuck, dude.
Holy shit.
And this is the equivalent of shrapnel, you know, like.
We got a nice,
drive hole.
Let's hit it again.
What a...
Wow. That's insane. I love that he does this.
One pound every day.
Listen, this is something I would take
a vacation for.
Yeah, it gives me back to the vacation. Not to go back
to gay, but you know those man camps you hear
about all the time, yeah. Let your feelings
out? Yeah, that kind of shit. If you were like,
bro, come out to the desert. We're just going to blow shit up for two days.
A thousand. I'm with you. I'll pitch a tent right here
on the ground, and all we're doing is blowing shit up.
all day. I'm in. I wanted to pitch you
another... We should create this.
Dads and kids vacation spot.
So, have you ever been to Asia?
No. So in the Philippines,
the Philippines are rad, right? Like, I mean, I'm sure you've
heard. There's, um, hold on I'm trying to find, okay.
There's like, it's accessible,
the beaches, the pools, why are you looking at me like that?
Because I know who you are. No, what do you mean, dude?
That's what I...
Like, good ad.
Yeah.
Great.
Beachfront?
She breastfeeding?
I think she may have been.
Great accommodations.
It looks like it.
Great food, you know, like here.
Definitely some beautiful.
That ship out there look great.
Great shots.
Yeah, the owner is a huge, like, superhero fan.
Oh.
So, like, if you go to, like, the pool, you can see the thing and the Hulk, right?
Yeah.
So there's all kinds of, like,
Cool stuff there.
The pool.
What is that?
Like a wave pool?
Yeah, it has jets.
Oh, man.
Has.
What, dude?
It's cool.
Looks great.
Yeah.
Looks busy, too.
That looks real popular.
He films a lot off hours.
But like, people go there and they just swim.
Everybody just like.
Is that a dick out on that fucking thing, bro?
What?
It is, too. That's a dick on the hole.
No.
It is too.
Some's on there.
No, no, no.
This is just, everybody's having a great time, is what I'm trying to.
See, he's, like, doing flips.
Yeah.
They have, like, all kinds of, like...
You keep showing.
It is.
It's a fucking dick, or the paints miss it or something.
Oh, the Hulk.
Yeah, well?
Yes, you're right.
Shut.
Shut!
No way.
Is that real?
Yes.
I mean, not the dick itself, but...
Yes.
Yeah.
At a family resort?
Why?
Well, I have theories.
Does he have...
Has he spoken about it?
I'd like to hear his theory.
I don't really give a fuck about yours.
I don't know about the guy that's the greenlit the dick out of the halls pants.
He's got peeps for drugs.
This is absurd.
No, this is not real.
Look at the underneath.
Bro,
this guy posts
Like,
Shut up.
Can you pull up his page?
His pants?
Is that what you said?
His can't
Pools, no.
Yeah.
So he also does kind of fun kinky reveals.
Wait.
Scroll up a little bit.
Does that one have a dick out to you?
No, just the Hulk's the only here.
So here's my, go ahead and hit that, like hit the, hit the, yeah.
Hit the one before it, to the left.
Yeah, that one.
So he'll be like, you know.
Oh, he's giving you, he's like, oh, we caught like a lizard or,
oh, there's a frog.
Ah.
He's chasing that guy.
So go ahead and hit the arrow to the right.
Again.
So he also likes to do, like, reveals.
So he's no doubt he's an artist.
He's an art.
Like right here, he wants you to see...
You know?
Yeah, it's an artistic shot.
Just a tip there.
Just a tip.
Nice.
And he'll do...
This is not...
Yeah.
No, that thing's got a dick out.
No, he doesn't.
That's the Hulk got to right.
So that...
That's the thing.
Yeah, but look at the pants.
Is that his other fist down there?
Yes, yes, yeah.
Okay, that looks like a dick.
But usually, if he shows you another...
If you see an image...
It's insane.
It's insane.
The one right there is ridiculous.
He's mastered covering every angle.
So, like, even here...
you're like, oh, this is about the dog.
My dog in the dick here, though.
This dog shot will end up at Hulk's dick.
It always ends up at Hulk's stick.
Is it a fountain?
Is that what it is?
Like a sprinkler?
It's a water spray that comes out of the Hulk's dick, yeah.
If you scroll down more.
And people go here?
Well, like sometimes scroll more.
Are there any people in this pool getting pissed on?
He'll do, see he'll do the underneath shot from behind?
See that one above right?
Yeah.
So like, no, so you're like.
Slow tilt.
Yeah, man, let me show.
He's proud of this.
Here's my, this is my theory on him.
This dude grew up watching the Hulk, right?
And he's like, you know what?
It doesn't make sense.
This guy gets angry.
His muscles grow.
His shirt comes off, his pants tear, but every muscle grows.
So you're thinking it's the whole body and the dick is blowing through the pants as well.
I think he's like, they fucking lied to us.
His dick's got to be tearing through that too.
And then I think he feels so much pride
that he thought of it and brought it to life.
Like, this is what the Hulk would look like when he gets angry.
Everything would come off and his dick would tear through his pants too.
And then he has so much pride that he came up with this
and actually did it that he can't help himself but to show you in every fucking post.
I mean, he posts like 15 times a day sometimes.
Just of this.
Scroll down. Do like a big scroll. Go scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. He's in almost every
fucking picture. Oh, even the ones that, like, and they're Superman. You're like, where's his dick?
What his underwear say? MGG, my loves resort. That's the resort. Yeah. That's the affectionate
name for it. He says my loves a lot. And then there's, let me, look at the close up here. The
close up is fucking wild. There's one that's not even okay to see. Not even okay. Oh, yeah.
he starts at where it's dripping and then there's a slow tilt up you know but you know what i mean
about this though he's like i do but is are there any pictures of people like getting up and grabbing
it and pulling themselves up right there's somebody in there she's happy yes i do to um that he's like
in his mind he's like hold on a second if everything is growing and bulging then the penis should as well
It's a choice to put the pubs on.
It's also a choice that where are the balls?
You would think the balls would swell too.
So if I'm going to critique...
I mean, you've got to think about costs, right?
He's having a statue made.
It seems like the plumbing and everything to run up and down into this dick
so that it has a forceful sprinkler.
It's probably a lot.
Yep.
But I'm saying if this guy, if you're going to say, hey, to your logic,
if you're going to say, look, if we're going to be realistic about this,
then balls should be out of there too.
I think you're not wrong.
I also feel like, you know, once you're into this territory, you're kind of like, all right, you have Iron Man there and you have the thing.
Like, what's up with their dicks?
Don't they have dicks that should be out?
But back to your logic, again, this man is, he's not in a suit.
No.
The thing, I guess.
The thing does make sense to me if you're going to, you're going to change sizes.
Yeah, then it should be grammatically correct.
What I think is like, it's crazy.
is that Superman's dick's not out.
He is super man.
And he has all these superpowers.
You know, he can,
he can fucking see through shit.
He can fly, right?
He can, like, laser shit with his eyes.
You don't think that he has a crazy dick, too.
I also think my only critique of the Hulk's dick
is I feel like it should be more up.
Yeah, it should not be,
it shouldn't be just hanging there.
Yeah, it's like fully.
It's like half hard.
He's the Hulk.
Yeah.
And you're in this state right here,
your dick's never going to be harder.
Yeah, yeah.
It's never going to be harder than that.
It should be shooting up like this in like a rainbow sprinkler if I'm going to do it.
I agree.
And then the balls could just leak a little shower underneath.
That's true.
That is really good.
This is what I would do.
I would love to get this guy on the podcast, by the way, Josh.
Cool.
I'll look it on it.
Because I think my theory is correct that he's like, this doesn't make sense that the Hulkstick is not out.
I think that he has a real logical problem with it.
And I think he is incredibly proud of coming up with this.
The pubes look like they might be hair fucking on.
It doesn't look painting.
That's probably how he connects to it.
Is that he changed it.
Do you think he designed this or it's his idea and he like...
Hired someone?
Yeah.
I think he contracted someone.
And how many people do you think he went through before they were like,
ah, yeah, all right, we'll go ahead and do.
I'll do that.
I'll go ahead.
Give the Hulk of Cock.
That is fucking...
And you've got to make it water like...
Yeah.
Use it as...
That's what I'm saying.
You got to fucking run plumbing to that thing.
Can you scroll down?
The other thing, too, is if I'm going to step back here
for a second. It's very well manicured.
The water looks clean. It looks
like he's taking care of the fucking. This is what
I love, though, is when you'll hit one of
like Iron Man. I'm
bet, like,
oh, you can hear it. Oh, guess what I hear? You can hear
a whole pissing.
If you go to the one, go to the
right one. Do we have one
any from like behind the waterfall, so
to speak, directly behind it? Every
angle. You can keep going.
If you just keep going,
yeah. Here.
see he's doing the little dutch angles
yeah it's almost always
a reveal like he almost always goes
oh yeah like right there he's like
just giving you guys
and he does the zoom and then he's like
oh yeah look over here you're like no dude
we know what you just showed us I'm gonna send this to the guys
we're going we're book this is our next summer trip right here thank you
it's great look it's clean it's clean
a little color contrast hell yeah buddy
That's cool. See you at the next angle.
See everybody talks about how he has literally...
That's pretty cool.
Ooh, it's a drone shot.
That feels like it's a... yeah, that's a drone.
There's no way he's gonna leave the Hulk out of it, right?
You're gonna leave the Hulk out of this drone shot?
He'll fly it right into that bit.
He's got to.
Oh, look at the bottom one.
Oh, there's people here.
The bottom one.
Wow.
Why isn't the thing rock hard?
See, people are asking.
Yeah.
He should be.
Yeah.
Here we go.
There we go.
Wow.
We just went by.
Man, could you go continue to the right?
Let's see.
This picture above the line.
There's just a drip drop came out.
That was kind of cool.
The single drop.
What's the SDD when you have drippy dick?
What is it?
That's a clap.
I'm getting Vietnam and shit.
Cephalis or something?
You know it's probably in the Philippines.
You can send her there and just get.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah
Uh-huh
Someone in your DMs
Will definitely fuck that thing
Oh yeah
Someone in your DMs is gonna fuck that
Can you keep going
There you go
Look at the hair
It
Yeah
This is normal
Where he starts on the thing
And then he always is like
Guess what's over here
I wouldn't use normal
For him
Yeah routine
Routine for him.
Yeah.
It ain't normal.
Well, anyway, I just wanted to show you that.
Thank you, man.
We got a new place to go.
Yeah, a new place to go.
That's pretty cool.
You're the reason I relapse.
You're the reason I did drugs.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I don't think you should blame somebody else for your relapse.
I think you've got to own that shit.
I mean, yeah.
That's if no accountability was a person.
right there for sure. Yeah. I mean, you're the reason I did that.
But I got to say, I felt those fuck yous though. Like after a couple, I'm like, oh, that feels
good. It did feel good. Like, I don't apply the initial message, but the fuck you's I'm
standing behind. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I like to reapply those somewhere else, you know.
Passionate fuck you. Um, let's see, I got some horrible hilarious for you. Okay. These are just,
you tell me if it's funny or not. Yeah, I know. I know, but I'm also not sure what I'm about to
fucking see either. To be honest with you, I'm waiting for the preacher to pop up and drop a bomb on.
I don't know. I don't know what we're about to see either. I don't know how it is in here.
All right, here we go. Oh, fuck. No. How? How? Oh, hell.
Fuck? Is that a leopard? It's a leopard.
He just ripped that dude's flesh off. Holy shit. Oh, he's coming back.
Yeah, that's in India. Holy shit.
How? The clerk escaped with bites to his.
nose and back.
The claw marks were.
Yeah.
That thing was hanging on.
It mulled three people that morning, including a forest volunteer.
It was probably hungry.
I mean, full by the time it got to him.
He's lucky.
Yeah.
A tranquilizer team took five hours to sedate it.
Why?
And the vet said it was his 64th leopard rescue, but his first from inside a liquor store.
Two of the injured were hospitalized.
They released that.
Mold.
Yeah.
They released it back into the wild.
It's gonna figure out how to get back there.
It's like I like that place.
It's a cat.
Liquor is good.
Fuck.
That's really insane.
I'm quitting that day.
I'm done.
No, that's no good.
Oh, shit.
She just standing her own.
She ain't helping her all.
Holy fuck.
Play that again.
You know when you're responsible for somebody else's
injury, but you didn't, like, you didn't really do anything wrong.
And she just doesn't react.
She's like, ah, shit.
So far, in her defense as her attorney, she has not set foot in that establishment.
She did not set foot there.
Did never set foot.
Oh, man.
That's a heavy fucking, you know how heavy those doors are.
Holy shit.
That's my move from now on if I do something wrong.
Walk away.
And then shuffle away.
I'm going to get to fuck out.
And they're like, who was that?
I don't know.
She had a mask on.
Well, if she had an appointment, we can figure out who the fuck she is.
But she just walked.
Well, time isn't on there.
She's probably there for her ninth third.
Yeah.
That's your 930.
It's her 930 did that.
Fuck.
What she did?
She touched the door.
It touched it.
And one exploded and the other one fell down.
And the other one just fell in.
And you happened to be there.
That could have just fought and broke if you weren't in the way.
Oh, my God.
That would fuck you up.
So bad.
So bad.
So bad.
Oh no.
Oh.
Oh.
I don't.
Turn that camera off.
Hurry up, turn that camera.
What did she...
Is that a lady?
Oh.
It looks like concrete.
I mean, your ribs are gone.
Those are shattered ribs.
Oh, fuck.
Niana, haven't you been to the Philippines?
I have.
You ever been to that resort?
No, I haven't, actually.
Can you send some family to check it out for us?
Oh, I definitely can.
Yeah, can we get a scout?
I found out it's about an hour 15 flight from Manila or a boat ride.
Yeah, that's doable.
I have family in Manila.
Oh, can we just...
Do you really?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, please.
Could we just send some people there, do a field piece?
Yeah, for sure.
My family goes there all the time.
I mean, it would be great.
It would be great to, like, just...
Yeah.
It just occurred to me.
I was like, oh, we should use our resources.
Yeah.
Are any of them fans of the Hulk, you think, or of just superheroes?
Actually, yes.
Really?
Yeah.
Dude, this is great.
Yeah.
Please, if you don't mind,
please, reach out.
Sorry for the distraction.
I just,
no.
It just hit me.
That's great that you have an in-house resource.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
Like, we want to know.
We want to know more.
I want to interview with that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't, don't send anybody alone.
Oh, no.
Listen that voice.
He just took him out.
That's a car.
I mean, that car's not play it again?
He took them out, dude.
They are.
Oh, it's flying, too.
It's not even going.
Oh, shit.
Whatever they're carrying is over.
Well, he's okay.
No.
Yeah.
Can we go back again?
I feel like it hit three people.
How many people would it hit?
You said he had only hit one guy.
He wasn't critically injured.
Yeah.
There's no way.
They walked back after this.
Who?
Yeah.
Can we see it again?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
There's how many?
Four people?
Yeah.
That guy up front.
There's no.
The guy in the back gets hit too, doesn't he?
Or is he just...
I think he just gets a little...
Here, let's see it frame by frame.
What are they care?
What is up top there?
It looks like a little James Brown.
So he, he barely...
I mean, the driver's like...
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
He doesn't really...
It does.
It just like grazes him.
Yeah.
And this guy in the blue shorts is fucking good night Irene.
over here. God. Damn.
They walked back. They walked back.
A bus hit him. That guy didn't
stop him a fucking ride
back for granted. It's a bus.
That guy's like, I'm busy, man. I got
shit going on too.
He totally... I'm 20 minutes behind. He had to think he
killed someone too. No doubt. There's no
way he doesn't know he hit those people.
If that guy lived, that's the most
that's the
I guess that would be the most severe
case of getting the wind knocked out of you.
he's doing there trying to breathe and talk. And this is crazy. What they were doing is they were
hauling holy gonga water on foot when the truck hit them. And then after the three of them were
injured, one badly, but nobody critically, the driver fled. Net like just was like, I'm, I'm rolling,
man, I got a delivery. And then they spilled holy water so it voided the trip. So they went,
they walked back, refilled it, and then restarted the pilgrimage. How long is that? I have
no idea how long he doesn't say.
If that doesn't make you go put down religion for a fucking second.
I know.
I don't know what,
I'm carrying this holy water and a bus just fucking is.
I'm like,
I'm out,
this is my sign that it's okay.
It's okay to leave whatever.
It is fucking religion.
And they're like,
we're starting over.
I talk about this all the time.
Like,
when I had my battle with,
you know,
Catholicism,
because I'm baptized,
communion,
confirmation.
Yeah.
Do you remember your confirmation name?
I want to say it was Joseph,
maybe,
that was our church and I just couldn't fucking think.
I don't. I don't remember.
John Joe, some basic bitch shit.
Yeah.
If it's all real, I got the paperwork.
You know what I mean? But I 100%
had more anxiety and confliction
about letting go of my home phone landline
than I did Catholicism.
Really?
Listen, in my defense, I'm like,
how are we ever going to fuck? How's anybody ever
going to call me? How am I going to reach people?
This is right when this shit's going down.
I was like, am I finally ready to cut the court on the landline?
Catholicism.
I was like, they're fucking kids.
I'm good here.
Yeah.
The landline was a problem for me.
I feel pretty similarly.
I knew it wasn't for me after a while.
Pretty much.
Pretty much, well, a couple of times.
Once when the priest during confession was, I think, jacking off at my, yeah.
And why do you think that?
Well, you mean why you're talking to him in the booth he's over there doing his old.
Well, no, he was like, oh, yeah.
What are you telling?
Well, at the time, like, if you're Catholic, when you're a kid, everything's a sin.
Everything.
Everything.
Everything's a sin.
And it's embarrassing.
But, like, you would confess, like, masturbation, and you would confess, yeah.
Like, that was, like, how I, that's how what we were taught.
Yeah, they were, like, they were, like, confess and confess impure thoughts.
So you would say it.
And I was telling, I was telling the priest.
And he was like, oh, yeah.
And I was like, I was like, well.
What? He was like, tell me about that. How many times? And it was like his voice, I mean,
trembling a little bit. Yeah, he was like, mm-hmm, yeah. And how often do you do that? And I was
like sitting there, like as a little Catholic kid, like knowing that this is bad. And then I was like,
um, and then I think he's probably seeing like how far he could take this kid. And then I kind of
was like, shocked. Then he was like, okay, so go go do your our father's family. And I don't
I was like, uh, touch my penis through the fence. So I was, I was shocked. Put your dick in these little holes. You're sweet. You're a sweet kid. I will tell you this. I had a nun in our family. I went to confession a bunch. Yeah. And especially if she was around because the rule was, you had to confess your sins before you go have the body and blood of Christ at the end of the mask. You can't just roll out of your seat and go up, which we did whenever she wasn't there. Of course. But I went to confession a bunch and I was always creeped out by it. I never gave him anything. I would, I never. I never. I, I, I never. I, I, I
gave them, I would cuss.
Yeah, I fought my brother the other day.
I gave him bullshit.
I'm not kidding you the last time, my grandmother's funeral,
Sister Carmina made us go to fucking confession.
At this point, we're all adults.
We know what's going on.
And you weren't going up if you didn't go.
And sisters fucking monitoring that shit.
And so I go in and I'm telling you, I remember.
I was like, yeah, cussed a couple times.
I'm speeding a little bit out there.
Like that, I'm giving them nothing to jerk it to.
That's why I was like,
What are you saying?
Well, I was young, man.
I was young.
I mean, I was...
I was too, but I was not telling anybody.
Especially this fucking creature.
I'm trying to remember.
I actually have it kind of blacked out which place I was at and what age that was.
I don't really remember if I was like 11 or 12 or like 14 or 15.
I can't remember which one.
But it was like very like...
And then, you know, it was mandatory for us to go.
Like, it was just like a gift to church.
We had church every week.
And then when I went to college and I would come home, they would be like, it's Sunday.
like we're going to church.
And they're like, oh, for fuck sake.
And then they'd be like, are you going to church up in college?
And I was like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
And then when I would come home to visit after college, it was kind of the same.
And then one day, it was weird.
Charo's dragging everybody to church every Sunday.
Well, it was the two of them.
It was.
It was the two of them.
Yeah.
He was super Catholic as well.
He was super Catholic too.
It was like, they would be like, you know, all right, we're going to 10 o'clock, like, normal.
Well, one day I'm visiting.
And I can't remember if I was like 27, 30, like around this age, maybe I'm 30.
And they were like, I got up when I got up and they were like, all right, we're taking
off and we'll be back like in an hour or whatever.
And I was like, okay?
And I was kind of waiting because sometimes they would do things like parents do where they
would do it but then give you the guilt after it, you know?
So I was waiting for it.
and they left, they didn't say like, come.
And then when they came back, they didn't bring it up.
They weren't like interesting that you're here or are you going.
They were just like, yeah, so you want a guy to go get lunch?
And I was like, yeah.
And they were like, okay.
And they never brought it up again.
That was the end of it.
I think it was almost like they were like, our kids are not like us.
So don't.
Well, that's nice that they didn't force it on.
Yeah, it took 30 years, but yeah, it was very much.
Hey, sometimes it takes a while to get there.
Sometimes it takes a while.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I had Sunday school, bro. I mean, all the way through senior year, I would go my Monday to Friday.
We'd have Saturday off, and that was always sports. And then Sunday was CCD, Catholic Church attention, or as my grandma called it, old school, catechism.
I remember CCD. And we would go to that every Sunday for first grade to our senior year. So that's when you're getting confirmed when you're in high school at that point, you know.
Yeah. So, yeah, and I, my dad had died in when we were 16, so 10th grade.
and we all wanted to quit.
But my, you know, my grandmother loses her son, our dad, like, it's like we're going to
fucking go and get this is going to make this lady happy if we get confirmed.
So that's why we did it.
But I was already over everything at that point.
Yeah, I mean, we never forced it on our kids.
My daughter went to a little church for preschool and stuff.
I wanted to know.
I wanted to know, look, I would go with other friends to, you know, their temple.
or their Methodist church or whatever.
I'm like,
this is so much better than our whole.
It's so boring and shit.
Well, that's why a lot of those denominations even started.
Yeah, they're sick of them.
We all not wear a special, like,
I'll never forget.
It was a big thing.
If you were going to get your ass kicked after school,
it was a big school clothes or my church clothes,
those pussy kids would say that.
There's pussies that Manning talks about.
Pussy!
Say, fuck him, I'm in my school clothes.
Yeah.
And you're going to get blood on your fucking school clothes, bro.
But yeah, I, yeah, no.
shit. If you're into, I want her to know. I want her to know what all of it is. You should understand it. You should understand it. I also think like. And if you want to practice it, practice it. I'm not against it. Like if my daughter said, I really want to go to church, I'd like you to come with me. Or if I had a partner that was like, I want you to come. I would go. I would go. I doesn't mean I'm co-signing on the message I'm here. And I'm going for this person, not for. I think there's also this thing where like, it is young kids. You see it is comforting to them when you go. Someone's in charge of everything. They're like, oh, like, that's.
That keeps them feeling.
I remember one time I was like, Ellis, you know who God is?
And they were like, yeah, he goes, yeah, I know God.
I go, who's God?
He goes, he controls the weather, man.
And I was like, I'm the weather.
I was like, yeah, he does do that.
That's Byron Allen.
Yeah.
I was like, that's so funny.
That is fun.
No, that's Mother Nature.
It's Mother Nature, buddy.
It's all that shit.
That's what I'm teaching my daughter.
Like, love, universe.
I don't care if you call it, whatever you call it.
There's no denying.
Yeah.
There is something else going on here.
We are not, we ain't shit.
There's so much more that's powerful and deities and entities and universe and all that out there for sure that nobody fucking understands it.
Of course.
But it's undeniable something bigger than us is going on here.
Sometimes you even hear like, I mean, I don't have the capacity of the intelligence to explain any of these things.
But like some of the science people will even be like, yes,
of course I'm rooted in everything science,
but then even some of them will be like,
something made all this happen.
No doubt. So I don't know.
Do you ever see these things that people do now where they've been doing it for a while?
Where they crash a Zoom?
Like somehow crashed a Zoom.
No.
There's one that like went super viral.
Like you could just pop into someone else's Zoom.
Somebody else's Zoom.
It's usually some type of meeting.
And they got this, this late, they gave, they put name.
that if you say the name, it sounds like you're saying something else.
That's, okay.
I've seen a lady, a white lady that's saying this name, and I didn't know that's what this was.
I just thought she was in, okay.
You've seen the one probably where there's a black kid.
Yeah.
And she says a name that sounds like she's saying the N-word.
What Manning says.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then he's like, oh, my name is Derek.
And then she's like, but that's because he crashed in?
They crashed, yeah.
I didn't know that. I just thought she messed it up.
In that case, they may have not crashed, but they manipulated the thing.
But sometimes they crash them.
I don't know if you'd have that one by chance, but it's a pretty ridiculous one.
How do you do that?
Do they know a friend of a friend of a friend that got the link?
You know what I mean?
Because you could do that, right?
I think you have to.
Yeah, I think you have to.
Unless you're just randomly typing in Zoom links.
And jumping in?
But they have them too where they just jump in and do just wild stuff.
but like this person on this one,
this is clearly crashing a Zoom.
Yeah.
Come on.
And then people are like,
who's that?
He's trying to talk through it.
Yeah.
And they just want him out, you know?
Well, he just wants it out of him too, man.
That's all everybody.
That's a good one.
I like this one.
He is shitting and screaming.
Violently.
He popped into a fucking company Zoom.
The Monday meeting.
That's fucking awesome, actually.
I love that.
I know that, what's his name, did this during the pandemic.
I always give him credit whenever.
Who?
Brendan Walsh.
He jumped in one.
Yeah.
You know.
He got in one?
No, he would do a thing where he would be like, he would join, like, find organizations that are holding, like,
Zoom meetings to keep contact.
Like public ones.
Yeah, or they'd be like, we're having this book meeting.
And he'd be like, yeah, I want to be apart.
He's like, yeah, I love books.
And then he would join them.
and then he would hire someone on Craigslist to stand up naked during the Zoom while he's talking.
Yeah.
He hired a stranger too.
Yeah. To be like, well, you just stand up and show yourself naked.
And then people would be like, what's happening here?
And it's for his own amusement.
Of course it's for his own amusement.
And then he would be like, hey, what's going on here?
He would throw his arms up.
In real life, there's a straight naked stranger in his house.
No, he'd be like, I'll Vemma you $100.
Like that, that kind of thing.
Oh, they're zooming to?
They're zooming in too.
Oh, I thought he's standing like, and he stands up behind.
I might have it wrong.
I might have it wrong.
That's actually funnier.
He's like, here's the link, you do this, and then I'm going to act like I'm appalled to.
It's even better.
Maybe it wasn't the same room.
I just remember him doing that.
It's very funny.
Yeah, and that's just people going like, we're talking about books.
Why's your dick out?
You're special.
and alive is available on YouTube.
The podcast, the Honeydew, and the Wayback are available on YouTube.
You also have the Patreon, which is fantastic.
Honeydew with you all, bro.
The craziest stories.
I mean, I did a, like, a special episode with you where we reviewed the best of.
The best of.
Everything on there, I was like, I've never.
Wait to hear the moment I got for you the next time.
I try to, like, I tell people, I'm like, you just can't imagine.
You can't.
I'm the paramedic at the party now.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I'm the paramedic at the party.
Like, there's one guy we scraped him off the road with a shovel.
I'm that guy now.
His legs were like spaghetti.
Like on a date.
You don't want a date, bro.
She's like, so what do you do?
Yeah, so he was burned to the steering wheel.
His fingers were on and we had to pry him off.
Just ash.
You want to get dessert?
You want to get something to eat?
No, I'm good.
It's a nice meeting you.
We just had a guy from the,
the ER say that he had a patient came in and I'm not going to give it away because you got to
check out the honey to do with you all. It's five bucks a month. It's nothing. We've been doing it for
probably four years now. She came in and she said there's vines grown out of my box.
And he looked at me like you did and he goes, I can tell you don't know what I'm talking
about. I said, actually, I think I do know what you're talking about. I'm assuming box is her
vagina. Like that's an old term like get some box or my box.
He goes, yeah.
I go, what do you mean?
Vines were growing out.
And he's like, vines were growing out of her vagina.
And she said they keep growing back.
Every time I cut them, they keep coming back.
And you ain't going to fucking believe what happened.
And I also want to thank the mommies.
Last time I was in here, oh, now I'm going to get sad.
Because last time I was in here, Christina was here.
And I was the hamburger.
And she was that fucking gay artist for Halloween and shit or whatever.
And you didn't dress.
That sounds right.
I promoted the special
and my old one,
Lefty's son,
was just at about a million
and you guys fucking went
and pushed,
you pushed over that fucking limit.
So thank you for that.
Go watch Live and Alive.
Give us some love right now
because I'm very proud of that.
That's definitely my best work.
And Christina,
I love you and I hope I see you soon.
There it is.
Love you, man.
Thanks for coming in.
Thank you guys for watching,
listening and we see you next week.
What's up? TikTok. It's Lalo Grande here.
Look, uh, I got a message for everybody, especially all the guys are getting, bro.
They don't visit me, though.
I like women.
Just the fart.
Bro, you guys are not going to get me to bark with putting all these dog emojis in my comments, bro.
I'm not a dog.
I'm not a pit, boy.
I'm not none of that, bro.
Bro, just bark.
Just bark.
And a soul.
But, bro, I'm not human.
Nobody walks me on a leash.
I'm a human, bro.
I got two legs.
Daddy Joe.
Please stop trying to make me look bad on this platform on you guys.
Stop commenting daddy under my post, but please.
That's all I ask for you guys to respect.
But you guys go crazy, bro.
I had almost 400 comments last night.
All of you guys calling me Daddy, bro.
Come on, bro.
Please.
Please.
Let's slo-look on brain here.
Daddy.
This shit, so they could know it's not a joke.
Bro, stop putting this stuff on my screen, but I'm telling you guys, bro.
I'm not talking to one of you, bro.
I'm talking to all of you.
you guys in my comment section book look he keeps putting these little flying things in my screen
what is wrong with you thank you for the follow bro appreciate that
