Your Stupid Opinions - Ancient Roller Coasters, Classic Food Garbage, Buried Next To A German Shepherd, Sex With A Werewolf

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Some of the craziest reviews on the internet! A cemetery where the manager might scream curses at you, in the middle of burying your grandma. An amusement park where the employees don't seem to follow all the safety requirements. A nostalgic frozen dinner that may be best left in the past. A very personal item that will allow you to indulge in the werewolf sex fantasies that this company is sure we all have & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey! Hello there. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you so much for joining us.

We really have some fun stuff for you today. We're going to do some things that people don't. We're going to go to a park outside. We're going to do some fun stuff. An amusement park. You know, I was going to say some fun stuff, an amusement park, you know. I was going to say a roller coaster. Yeah, not just the park down the street.

No, not just a bench. A splash pad in the dinosaur slot. We're doing cool stuff. We're going to do that. We got a delicious meal to eat. Yeah, good personal items. We'll get right into it though here. Before we do though, definitely follow us on social media, join the groups that people have have do all that fun stuff and hang out with us and keep coming back and tell your friends also. Oh yeah. Yeah listen to small town murder and crime and sports as well if you like what you hear here if you don't then maybe you won't like that but if you do

probably won't check it out. If you hate us you're gonna hate that probably. Let's get right to it here let's go go someplace fun. What do you say? We're going to Playland Park. This is in Rye, New York, which is Westchester County. Like the bread. Absolutely. So Playland Park, it's got 4.3 stars on Google out of 7,800, almost 7,900 reviews. That's not good. No, this place has been around a long time too. It's one of those places that's been around forever. It was built in 1928.

Holy shit. Really long. It's a 280 acre park and it's actually owned by the Westchester County government. Must have been somebody that whoever owned it probably died and it went into there. Probate and the county got it. That's it. It's at one Playland Parkway, I guess that's the street, Rye, New York, and there it is. And it's got rollers, it's got five roller coasters, three water rides.

The government operates a fucking water park. An amusement park. Yeah, Westchester's a different kind of place, man. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Westchester's like really nice. It's, it's... Can you imagine Anaheim operating Disneyland? I can't. No, no, absolutely not, because those people probably wouldn't pay what it costs to live in Westchester. It's wild out there. So, Johan gives it five stars. This is an old school

amusement park built in the 1920s that has a lot to offer for families. That's frightening. I guess if you're going for like Coney Island, a nostalgia feel, that sort of thing. A lot of people go to Coney Island, those are big wooden coasters, same shit. Yeah, that's a good point. There are rides, games and an arcade. It's much more manageable than most amusement parks and it's not very big and has the charm that most places like it do not. It's a smaller, more intimate place, not like a great adventure, which is a bigger joint, I know. Yeah, it's not cold and corporate.

It feels very down home and charming. Because it's old, for some how I've never been here. As a kid I was never taken, no, didn't tag along with somebody else's family or anything. Manatee Springs in Colorado is kind of like that word. There's a penny arcade still that has the original arcade games. And my friend, there are no graphics. It's like a ball and you try to roll the ball

by tipping the table. It's crazy. That's it, a little table tipper deal. You pay to do that. And there's no goal. No. It's just like get the ball to the other end. Do it more times than your friend.

That's it. Well, people used to bet on that shit back in the day. That was the deal. That's probably what it is, yeah. Yeah. The park is most appealing to teenagers and kids. No shit. An amusement park. Kids like it. It's a great way to spend a day with the family. It costs $20 to park, but there's always ways to access the park via public transportation. Entrance to the park allows you to walk through the boardwalk right by the water along the way to Rye Town Park.

Playland has its own beach and pool as well, but this may cost extra. Overall, it's a great visit. That's kind of cool. That's terrific. Here's four stars. I don't know if they mean the park or what. Robert says, quote, loving in the winter time. He just likes fucking when it's cold out.

That's all he likes. I like dipping too. I like humping on a cold wind. That's it. One star next up, this is SC is the name. This person says so dot dot dot, which is a great way to start out a one star review. It means they had to like take a breath. So, okay, this is what happened. My brother-in-law took the kids there for some fun and the kids felt offended to the point they bursted out screaming and crying because of all the unprofessional employees. They were called the N-word and such by employees. Oh my.

You can't help the other guests behavior obviously, but employees, that's above and beyond their scope I believe, right? Not good. Yeah. That's a part of the training when they get you the first week. They're like, listen, tell you what, anybody acts up at all, you hurl the most vicious racial slur you can think of, Adam. Just really.

Yeah. Just shoot slurs at them. They'll leave. We have a full list of them here, in case you're not up to date on your slurs. There's all of them. I mean, any ethnicity you could find. We got here for Bulgarians. Didn't even know they had those, did you?

Well, they're right here. We've got a hue card. That's right. You hold it up to them. And you can just aim away. Hurl the appropriate slur. I find that unacceptable, the person goes on to say. Yeah, probably for employees to call children the N-word. You find that unacceptable. You find it that way. Is that right? How noble of you.

So you're really stepping out on a limb here, fella. Do you hate pedophiles too? Wow, yeah, yeah. Don't tell me you're against fucking kids too. Wow, this person's just a moral fucking anchor. Hi, thank you. If you do not care for the racial slurs, then by all means have fun. If you don't mind your children being called the N-word. That's your thing.

But if you're strongly against that, find a better environment. Who's not strongly against that? Who is for that? Who goes, oh, that? Who is not who is for that? Who goes? Oh, that's that's the park where the people who put you on the ride go. Come on you little n-word That's that yeah, we'll go take the kids there. That's so much fun What are you talking about? Oh my god

This is crazy, okay one star from Claudio. Playland, you are not Six Flags Great Adventure. They know. I think they are aware of that. Not even in the same state as a matter of fact. Making customers pay for unlimited rides with no other option to pay for individual rides is unfair. Oh, they only have the all day pass.

All day or nothing rather than you can't just go walk around and you know Piecemeal your day together with rides a couple of rides Yeah, you barely have adult rides and majority are closed. I'm with my 83 year old grandmother That's who the rides are made for what come on grandma. We're gonna ride the loop-de-loop. Let's go Always wanted to be there. Why are you trying to kill her? Her fucking head's gonna fall off for doing one of those. Old people, you gotta keep them, you know, can jar them too much. You don't put grandpa on the Superman ride. No. I'm with my 83 year old grandmother who I wanted to ride the carousel with. She's obviously not getting on all the

rides, clearly not. You think it's right to pay for her to have unlimited rides when she just wants to get on one ride? It's messed up. You think he didn't say that to the manager at the park too? Oh, he said, this is messed up. And they were like, I mean, we don't really get a lot of elderly people who want to ride the carousel and nothing else. Yeah. We've literally never had it happen. So more for kids. You know, yeah, this is weird.

Please bring back options to pay for individual rides. If not, then it is not worth visiting unless it's for little kids, which is what it's for. And they clearly state that in everything possible that it's for little kids. I don't say bring your grandma down and have a blast at Rye County Playland. Big day for grandma on the Goliath.

Yeah, no one says that. Frenchie gives one star. We went on the catch-a-wave and the employee didn't check my brother's seatbelt. That's not good. That's a safety concern. And then he called in the N-word when he said my seatbelt wasn't fastened. And midway through during, midway through during the ride, his seatbelt came off. Oh no. Thank God he started screaming, my seatbelt!

Yeah, thank God. And the ride was stopped. The worker was unaware though, even after he was yelling, some of us had to yell to him to stop the ride. Oh boy. Also when we got there, there were many rides that were closed. I heard a ride was shaking so they closed it and one ride was closed because on Friday it was stuck for 10 minutes. This place is really unsafe and outdated. I understand the 1920s aesthetic but they really need to upgrade the equipment to current date technology. Let's put some new seat belts in these. That's fair. The ones that fit children, children you know because that's what it's for. Here is Christie one star. Review for the

amusement park. Well yeah that's what you're here for. Thank you. The worst staff I've ever come across as a whole. Not for amusement parks for anything. As a whole. Worst staff who've ever operated an endeavor. The place is run by people in their early 20s. Oh, you're lucky they're not 16 actually. Babe, that's all of them. Wow. I'm shocked they're not teenagers. Good for you.

How did they get such elderly elder statesmen of parks to occupy this place? Everyone looked miserable. That's probably because they're college graduates who work at fucking Playland. College kids on fucking Spring Break or whatever break they're on, because if they're 20, that's not a person yet. No, they're still forming, you know what I mean?

Just to figure it out. Not one smile. No. No smiles. We don't get smiles out of these people. No, that'd be extra. That costs extra. From the, you want the day long ride pass

and smile package, that's an extra few bucks. That's more, yeah. From the moment we stepped into the park, they were having side conversations and cursing in front of our kids. I could probably. Have you been to a water park? That's all they do.

And also, it is New York too. I gotta be honest with you little kids walk around like let's go on that fucking ride. There's 11. It's just how it is here It's just how it is. It's I don't know how to fix that but that's the thing from the moment We stepped in there doing that I could probably count 20 times. I heard the f-word. That's it. Yeah shocking good one ride The two staff members completely ignored our child who was waiting to be led on the ride. They wanted to finish their private conversation before getting back to attending their respective rides. Also, cursing at times. Calm down about the cursing. Everyone in Westchester knows the park went downhill a long time ago, but this was by far the worst visit. We won't be going back. Thank you. I'm sure they'll...

Yeah. Yeah. And then this, I love this one. One Star have had many incredible memories here and encountered my first disappointment. Oh boy. Let's see what you got. Daniella, by the way. Yeah, Daniella. The place overall is beautiful. Incredible memories they've had before this. But the staff that works in the kiddy land section was very rude and disrespectful and cursing in front of, or even at the kids and parents. In kiddy land. In kiddy land. Let's not put Don Rickles in kiddy land maybe.

Let's put him somewhere else. What are we doing here? This is great. I love this. And parents under her breath but was loud enough to be heard and she spoke back being told she was heard and rude. So she told him, someone said, hey, I can hear you cursing and she said shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Good. That's what I meant. I wouldn't have said it out loud if I didn't want you to hear it. That's why I said it. Then she's, there's the next line. She got her chess out, not chest, her chess. Got her set out. She's like, white or black motherfucker, which one you picking? We're getting it on. And was ready to fight. It's 10 o'clock, your turn. Yeah. Ready to fight, beat you over the head with a chessboard. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional, I would say.

Teenagers that act like that, especially in that section of the park, should not be employed where kids are if they're looking for fights. Only if they're looking for fights. Totally disgraceful and disgusting. My God, that is disgraceful and disgusting. My God, that is so disgraceful and disgusting. So where are your kids? And then when you're mad at it, they'll fight you for it. They'll fight you.

What'd you say? Yeah, motherfucker. I called your kid the N word like, huh? Um, here is one star. I brought my great grandkid two years old and it didn't met and didn't measure him then before I'm going to get on the ride There's no punctuation so I got to figure this out We had to pay for adults to be with him my two-year-old could not get in no ride because they have a measuring him Before we pay once you're inside they do not have one once you pay which is ridiculous have a robbery

Have a robbery Hey, how is ridiculous, have a robbery. Have a robbery. Hey, how you doing, pal? Have a robbery. That's the best line, have a robbery. All right? That is a funny way of running business where they're just like, all day pass, sure, here you go. Now take him over there after I've taken your money and see if he can get on any of these rides. Oh, sorry.

Just missed. That's called robbery. Have him stand over there with that guy's grandmother who's 83 there They just in the carousel only section Maybe if he stands on her shoulders and we get a big trench coat they can both go on all the rides What do you say? Have a robbery. All right, have a good one. Have a robbery Okay, next one was a couple left here that are great

One stars kind of a long one here. But when they name people, I love it, because that means they're really mad. This is man, M-A-N-N. Terrible eye experience with the go-kart staff. We're starting out hot. Terrible eye experience. Terrible.

Terrible eye experience with go-kart staff. Yeah. Yeah. Wheels! He's very, very baby Yoda. That's my fee. Wheels street not on, up down, work doesn't, like what the fuck are you talking about? Couldn't get out, I'm laughing too hard. Both Travis and his reporting supervisor Ricky. Okay, why does it feel like every single

go-kart attraction in the nation has a Travis and a Ricky working them? I don't know. But it's always Travis and his supervisor Ricky. Ricky is a failed fucking NASCAR driver so he knows all his shit about go-karts. He's like, you slow little pussies. Call that kid the N-word. He first your last. Travis, call that kid the N-word. It's policy. Tell him, tell him.

Tell him if he's not first, he's last. He's last. Let's go. Both Travis's reporting supervisor, Ricky, was absolutely careless when they saw a woman come off the go-karts with a child, then immediately skipped the whole line to place herself in front of the line again to ride alone. Oh, that's Ricky's wife, so she just rides all day. That's Ricky's cousin, she does that all the time.

She has her own cart, it's the pink one right there. She knows. You see the rat tail on that toddler? That's Ricky's kid. Ricky was not helpful. Ricky not being helpful? Weird. Isn't that strange?

Ricky was not helpful in explaining why that had occurred and shrugged his shoulders along with the rest of the staff. He said, who fucking cares? We don't care. Afterwards, I asked to speak to Ricky's reporting supervisor and came across an ops manager named Justin. The Justins, that's the hierarchy of amusement parks. The Justins oversee the Ricky's who then impart that knowledge down to all the Travisi of the, of the, yeah, all the Travisi of all the dharals if they're working in a different section depends on what part of the country you're in.

Wow, that's fucking amazing. He said it just goes it's just to show how the staffing has become so bad and unsupported in what is supposed to be a family friendly location. Man. Boy, is that confusing and long winded. That's a lot. Oh, there's more to it that I didn't even make sense of. I'm like, we don't have time for that.

I just had enough of Ricky Travis and Justin. Had enough of Justin, Ricky Travis and man, the guy who wrote that as well. Next up, Halima one star, all caps, nasty, nasty, nasty. Uh oh, what'd you find? Which sounds like it should be on a sign outside a titty bar. Nasty, nasty, nasty. There's one in Phoenix now called Dirty's. Perfect, exactly.

That's not surprising. And ghetto, as my 12 year old would say, as everybody would say, no one stays in the, as no one stays in the lines and they're ridiculously long and crowded, no one stays in the line, and no I work a nine to five, can't go on a weekday. She goes on the weekends. There's rude, rude kids and they're mentally, emotionally challenged parents. Mentally challenged parents always bring their kids to the amusement park that behave worse than the kids

There should be a cap on how many people are allowed in the park on weekends No more than 300 for four hours then another batch The park can't hold no more than that and that includes the beach to play land more like dirt land Wow then the last land. Wow. Then the last. Better than that but alright. The last two. One star. Terrible just terrible. Exclamation. Tell me why. I brought my daughter there and we went on this ride that made complete circles in the air. Forgot the name. I guess that's the ride. Not his daughter. The twirly twirl? Yeah. My daughter's name I mean. Forgot her name. What with this kid? Seth D circles Circles, fuck my brain up.

The workers didn't check the height carefully and let my daughter go. When we went completely up, my daughter would have completely slipped through or damaged her body parts. Damaged, not damaged, damaged her body parts if her cousin didn't hold on to her so irresponsible Wow flown out of the ride what would have at least damaged your body parts one of the two Next up and last up Kyle here one star. This is a I didn't even know this was an option here So apparently it's not don't allow fishing Fishing it's an amusement park you brought your fishing pole to the amusement park on any part of Long Island sound near their property

Because it's near the water. It's not hurting anyone and it's not your personal private property So why don't so why do you get to say that I can't fish in the Atlantic Ocean? Park Rangers are very friendly but firm that I needed to get out. BS. You're not allowed to fish there, that's why. What do you fucking want? I don't want some creep. I'm just fishing while there's kids coming in and out. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Bring your daughter and your grandma or shut up. I don't want to hear you. You're going to catch my toddler motherfucker. Get out of here. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. I called you the N wordword get out. No I'm just kidding it's a white guy I'm joking so the white guy named Kyle

yeah I have his pictures here too. Okay so we've gone there it sounds dangerous we could have slipped out we could have fallen we could have damaged our body parts lots of bad things could happen. We could have been caught on a fisherman's line. We could have been dragged on in and if we are then we're gonna need a final resting place aren't we? What do we got? Let's find one let's go ahead and find it and I think I found us one. The Bohemian National Cemetery. Oh Bohemian we're all very new. In Chicago no not that way. In Chicago, Illinois and it's a very old place and it's got like statues and buildings, but it's not seems not to be kept up great here. This is a national cemetery at 5255 North Pulaski Road in North Park, Chicago here. 126 acres. It was oh, by the way, it has 3.8 stars out of 100 reviews.

That's terrible. That's not it's a cemetery. Are the I would think unless if the bodies are staying in the coffins, then great, I think five stars. So staying in the ground. That's not good. It's a cemetery are the I would think unless the if the bodies are staying in the coffins then great I think five stars so staying in the ground That's I'm not coming up and trying to eat our brains and we're I think we're winning at that point Are we you're doing exactly what you're supposed to do? So the cemetery was established by members of Chicago's Czech community So this is a Czech cemetery Yeah, the community had been they were mad when a Czech Catholic woman named Marie Silhanik was denied burial at several Catholic cemeteries in Chicago because she supposedly, listen to what she did, I mean you can understand, never made her Easter duty.

What does that mean? It means when you shitting on Easter. Now it's after you eat a whole bunch of going to confession and Holy Communion eat a whole bunch of Easter ham. Going to confession and Holy Communion at least once during the Easter season. Oh my God. Never once did it. Banished. Banished. This was the 1800s.

Have you buried with these people? That's terrible. So the Czechs purchased land, which was then in Jefferson Township, to create a cemetery that they could control and let whoever they wanted in, and that's what they did. First member number her. So it's a 150 year old cemetery though. First up, Patricia five stars. There are some curve balls in here baby.

Wow. Okay. My family on my mother's side has been interred here since the early 1900s. It is good to be able to visit my forebearers. Forebearers is a weird way to put it. Say ancestors or something. In a quiet, beautiful surrounding in the middle of the busy city. Eventually my husband and I will join them. It gives us peace. I can't wait to die to be here. It almost makes you mad to be alive. As a matter of fact, where's your gun honey?

I'm going to put it in my mouth and blow my fucking brains out. Eventually. Next up, Wasim gives five stars. I guess this is the oldest cemetery in Chicago. I went there for a Hindu last rites. For a Hindu last rites. Although the place could use some maintenance and renovations, you cannot take away

the meaningful calm of the place. The manager is a very nice guy, keep that in mind for later by the way, and the staff is very nice too. Okay, finally... This can't be the oldest one because it was started because another one wouldn't allow someone. Exactly, so it's certainly not. Yeah, because no one died in Chicago before 1877, it was incredible. She was the first death. Next up up Jeff with five stars and this one completely threw me for a curveball because I didn't know this was part of the possible things you could have done here. Well no, part of like the

offerings and the commerce here. Five stars, we brought our dog Casanova there. So you think it's a nice place for a dog to run around, right? Bob was very friendly and could tell we had just lost our furry kid. No, this is also a pet cemetery. Could just tell? How? Because you brought a dead dog to him? Yeah, I brought a tiny box to him, that's why. He took such great expert care explaining everything to my wife, Kathy, and I. We were very pleased with the services and how the paw prints came out. Oh my God, well, had he done his Easter ceremonies,

he probably would have been buried in a Catholic one. No, his Easter duty, Jimmy, it's his duty. He didn't pop his duty, that's the problem. So this is interesting because the pet people in all the reviews say he's much nicer, this guy, than all the people people the people Burying he hates people loves dogs Bob is a great guy and a big pet lover five stars. All right

Rebecca one star I would rate zero stars She keeps that out actually, oh did she just she know, you know, you get it She's like you've heard your stupid opinions, you know, what's going on My mom was buried two years ago. Her headstone was placed on the wrong spot No, come on, man. You gave somebody else my mom's marker and that's like deep in the great that point You got to wonder is it easier to just move the body over here? What do we do? Like this is Or is my mom even here? Yeah, where is she?

Do you even know where my mom is? I called the office multiple times and was informed they would fix the issue. A year later and it's still not resolved. Oh my God. Can't you just bring a shovel into it yourself? Yeah, I'm taking it myself. Please save your energy and don't use Bohemian services.

Don't. Stay away. Ernest One Star, this is amazing, was visiting relatives with my wife on March 14, 2020. Like others writing reviews, we noticed the alarming number of headstones that fell over. There's a lot of pictures of fallen headstones and leaning on another tall marker. Some areas were flooded, a lot of that too, and headstones were piled on top of each other from the water and ground shifting. Oh my god. Yeah.

The grounds are full of leaves and tree branches everywhere and numerous potholes on the roadways throughout the cemetery. I've seen train wrecks not as bad as the condition this cemetery is in. No you haven't. You've seen weak ass train wrecks then. You as the condition this cemetery's in. No you haven't. You've seen weak ass train wrecks then. You've never seen a train wreck in your life. Twisted metal, burning bodies, people missing limbs and this person's like, there's leaves on the ground. I see branches, no.

The soggy ground made a headstone shift. Oh my God. This is worse than a train wreck. Worse than anyone I've seen. I've seen train wrecks, not as bad. Bohemia National Cemetery is an excellent candidate for the evening news for not maintaining this wonderful historic cemetery. You get five on your side. Let's do it. Next up, two stars. We had a bad experience. It was just a waste of time. My friend couldn't find

her husband's grave. Well, she should probably go see him more. She doesn't know where her husband, her husband, her husband, death do you part? Yeah, I'm shaking on where a couple like my grandfather, I know it's this part of the cemetery. Don't remember what row because you know, it was like 30 years ago. That's her husband, she should know. We called their office, they got to us, the letters are not together, to us one hour later and said they say looking forgot. We're looking, we forgot to call you back, but we're looking for him.

Sit there, we don't know where your husband is either. They should put names on the graves so we could see them, or numbers on the graves, so you could see them from far away. Bad management, they should do better. I mean the rows are marked, right? I would hope so. I would think so. Dawn one star, the grounds are a mess.

Roads within the cemetery are filled with holes and I've been promised several times they would have my grandmother's headstone engraved and they still have not done it. Oh my god. That's not great. She will be gone a year in June. A year to put a marker on this lady's grave. Jesus, she's just a patch of grass at this point. Help me out here.

All I get is excuses. Well, she ain't getting any debtor, so I mean, they're like, it's not like she's upset about it. I mean, there's a lot of excuses you can give. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Time is a real different flexible concept when we're talking about the dead. Just put my grandmother's fucking headstone up. The woman in the office is rude and useless. Oh, wow. I never have had to deal with such poor customer service and lack of concern for your family member. As a national cemetery you'd think it'd be beautiful and historic. Well it's historic. It definitely is. It is there.

Kevin, one star, my father passed away last year and one of the most difficult aspects was the small service we held at Bohemian National. That was the hard part? That's the hard part. My father died. It wasn't even getting his finances as a state in order, you know, the pain. You think getting over your father being dead is hard. Have a ceremony here.

Have a fucking service at Bohemian. The property itself looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Oh, that's awesome actually., that's I mean that sounds cool Yeah, so bury me in a place that's twisted and dark people leave it a little less than once Yeah, white stripes. Oh, can't wait to see I just like with scissor hands and shit. Yeah, I want to see that Scary and not very well maintained with crumbling roads and dead broken trees everywhere That's the people be buried. This sounds great. The people working there were late to the service to go to the actual grave site and

were completely unprepared. They didn't even bring the body. They're like, oh shit, we've, I told you we forgot something, man. Fuck. Is that today? Shit. I got a shovel. I knew I was missing something.

The actual placement of the urn into the ground had to be done by myself kneeling in the frozen mud in a suit Very unprofessional all around burying ashes. Is that a thing? They put like they like set it in I think the urn there they put it there. Okay. Here we go. Uh this person you called the the encasement around the casket and urn I i'm not sure about no, I don't think that no Ashes, right? Yes, there are people that have we've talked about this on another one where their earn was stolen Number and like was that the vase or the urn? I think it's an urn

I think some people do that. I think some people put like the urn up there rather than burying a casket Wow, I think so which seems weird. What if the wind blows the top off or something? You're gonna be gone I don't like any of this. I hope you wanted to be spread among a cemetery with your ashes because heads of charge here's one star we had a funeral for a close friend I don't know where to begin with how disrespectful the and then in quotes bigger guy was I guess he wants to say fat yeah was that we later might have found out was the president of the cemetery. So this is the guy in charge. They have presidents. Yeah, the president of the cemetery. I'm in charge of the whole cemetery. We put his hands on his hips.

I'm going to unleash the cemetery national guard and get you out of here. I'm the president." He said, during our prayer he ran up cussing and told us to leave and saying, what do we think we're doing here? Did he see the thing that was lowering a fucking casket into the ground? It's pretty obvious what we're doing here. You're the president. You should know. People in suits with a debt. You brought a corpse on my property What the fuck singing hymns and shit cursing at a funeral? That's fun. He later went on saying to hurry up Hurry up and get this fucker Joker in the ground Well, I have and this is what the review, because he has a hundred other bodies to bury

after this. Is that what he said? He said, yeah. What do you think, your friend is special? I got a stack of corpses over here with Chokin' Elephant. Move it along, people! There's not enough time today. Jesus Christ.

I cannot wrap my head around how someone can ruin a person's funeral like that. That is rough Zero respect and compassion that was completely unacceptable and I will be going further into this making sure he's no longer working there Also, not to mention she's the president also not to mention the stones They ran over right in front of us with their trucks and didn't have enough respect to fix it and put it into place They're knocking over gravestones while cursing at people in the midst of a funeral. There's seven billion people on the planet. You think you're the only one that had somebody die today? Look, there's a lot of people dead, all right?

Keep moving. Here is one star, horrible, horrible owner. It seems to be a theme. We were in the middle of a burial and he comes up steps on the grave and starts swearing This is his mo that's what he does and yelling at us to leave because there was more than ten people here I don't know. I don't know what's going on. We all then is a protest After that I stuck getting worried you're gonna turn on me fuck off We all then started leaving and he started talking shit to us and kept enticing us

What do you want your ass kicked in a cemetery? Come here pal? Oh my god, I can't imagine this happening in like a family funeral of mine That's crazy me and all my cousins would be beating the shit out of this guy like what is that? Are there no able-bodied people in this entire funeral body? Definitely not you'd be be in a fucking hole by the end of it. Think about that. We got a whole dog already Like, what is, how, are there no able-bodied people in this entire funeral bot? Evidently not. He'd be in a fucking hole by the end of it. Think about that. We got a whole dug already.

You sure you wanna talk like this to us? You're outnumbered, pal. You're at an Italian grandmother's funeral. We're gonna murder you. There's more than 10 people here. You just said so yourself. How ballsy are you? None of us will tell, by the way.

This is all, nobody saw a fucking thing. There'll be no evidence. You're tell by the way. This is all nobody saw a fucking thing There'll be no evidence you're going in the ground Man horrible horrible cemetery and rude owner. Fuck the owner. Okay And then I love this the last one liz two stars all caps true story, okay good I hope so. I hope you're not bullshitting us here About two years ago toward the back of this graveyard toward northeastern in parentheses an infant baby, oh god was redug up from the ground and

Was wrapped in a white blanket and laying on the floor and flies were swarming it what? it and laying on the floor and flies were swarming it. What? So that was a terrible experience I had and no one was ever held accountable for this. Two years ago? Hold on a sec, dot dot dot. But aside from the terrible job maintaining this, what are you talking about? Aside from the dead baby corpses laying around? I was desecrating a child's corpse.

What the fu- aside from that it contains amazing stories and artifacts. I'm a history buff. Back to the dead baby! Circle back motherfucker! It holds amazing stories, like the time they dug up a baby. Someone dug up a baby's corpse and left it on the ground, and we're all just gonna go, aside from that, not a bad day at the cemetery. For the flies to swarm.

What the fuck? Jesus Christ, what is happening right now? Okay, so we're still alive, luckily. We didn't have to live there. We're gonna find another place to be buried. I don't want that guy yelling at my family. Then they'll murder him, people will be in trouble. Yeah, I don't want that guy yelling at my family then they'll murder him people will be in trouble. Yeah dig me up and leave me on the side of the grave.

Nope don't want to do that so let's get something to eat because I'm starving. I am so hungry. I just checked my pocket Jimmy we're a little light on funds here. No we don't have a lot to eat so we don't have a lot of money so we're gonna have to get something very cheap. Let's go to Walmart and get ourselves a banquet frozen dinner, shall we? It's not the Walmart, it's the actual product. No, the banquet frozen dinner, the Salisbury steak meal to be particular.

I've eaten so many of these. So have I. Oh man, back in the day. You know why? Because they're $1.68 right now. Right now. 20 years ago they were 99 cents. They used to be $0.49. Yeah, you'd get years ago. They were 99 cents. Yeah, you get them two for fucking the dollar. So yeah, they'd be on sale 10 for five Be like fucking score So here do you like to see the Stake little pile of potato little pile of corn little mushroom little mushroom on it. No, I know mushroom on this Just oh that's steam that's steam picture. Yeah, that's steam rising up for a dollar 68 you don't get mushrooms

Mushrooms are for closers. You don't get that at all So yeah dollar 68 at Walmart banquet Salisbury steak with creamy mashed potatoes and cinnamon apple dessert frozen meal 11.88 ounces Funny I have the nutrition facts right in front of me that you would say that as a matter of fact I don't have the ingredients. I have the nutrition facts. We have they just describe what's in it there the Salisbury steak could be anything 17% of your daily fat is in this, which 17 grams, 22% of your daily fat. 58% of your daily sodium in just this little bit of food. You better have a salt-free dinner. I can eat four of these fucking things. No problem. No problem. A Salisbury steak. That's two days worth of sodium, James. You could fold that in half on the fork and pop the whole thing in your mouth.

Oh yeah. It's one of those. So it's got a lot of cholesterol too. It's cooking with that. So it's a lot. Let's see what people think though because some people love it and I think there's a nostalgia factor here too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When we were kids this was all the rage. It's the pie. The pie used to be cherry. It wasn't a cinnamon apple thing. That cherry thing with the crumb on it. They changed it. The cherry thing was good. Oh, fuck. That was good.

They changed it a few times. Yeah, this is what parents who didn't care what their kids ate gave us. Didn't care about their kids. They were like, I don't have time to give you proper nutrition. Throw this in the microwave. Thank you. It doesn't matter what's in it because it'll go through your body in a second with your fucking high metabolism.

You're just going to run around anyway. Five stars and this says the title is TV Dinner. I'm having thyroid problems. Is that where we expected this to start? Yeah, let's reprogram my thyroid in a very bad way. And I've lost nearly 40 pounds. All I can do is eat. so apparently this person has the reverse thing I write yeah, it doesn't make it all skinny

Underactive if it were if it weren't for these dinners, I wouldn't be able to afford to feed myself five dinners a day Your heart is gonna explode you too much salt too much ask your doctor if this is okay I don't think it is I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure make yourself baked potatoes man yeah like something you know something like that or sodium I wouldn't be able to afford to feed myself that the lat the least I can eat to be able to do what needs to be done he needs to have five of these to be able to do anything these dinners are keeping me going till I get treated I'm just saying thank you.

I'm just here to say thank you for keeping me alive, Banquet. Hopefully this will keep me. And that's the thing, if you don't have a lot of money, this is not a choice. This is, this is a necessity. This is 12 ounces of food for a dollar 68. That's what this is. And you know, food for $1.68. That's what this is. Yeah, it's the strom of the sodium. I mean, it's sodium, but it's technically, it'll stop your stomach from growling. My God. Five stars. Such a delicious meal to make, such a delicious meal to make, not to mention how... That's the title of this. And then, okay, I love this meal so much. So it doesn't start

after a dot dot dot. So I love this meal so much because it's so tasty. Not to mention it's so easy to make as well. Yeah, it's in the fucking microwave. I can have a full course meal. Calm down. Calm down, Cato Kaelin saying that he didn't eat the main course of his McDonald's. I can have a full course meal with steak for dinner.

That's not really steak using my microwave. It makes my meals so easy and tasty. Please check on this person. Yeah. Whoever it is, if you know the person reviewing this, please check. Just so you know, friend, there's no cut from a, from a cow called the Sal's this is from the Salisbury region It's his black Angus Salisbury right here. It's

Delicious only can be eaten with gravy though butcher on the planet that can carve the Salisbury out of it. Yeah Let me get like a no a big I want like a two inch thick Salisbury cut. Can I have that please? Do you have that back there? Mr. Butcher, sir? Oh, I want to know what the Really is a mash of them, right? I think it's whatever fell on the floor while they were making hamburgers and they they make a patty out of it They're like this right we if we cook it and put gravy on it and freeze it. No one will know it fell on the floor, right? No The thin part of the gravy Right. We if we cook it and put gravy on it and freeze it. No one will know it fell on the floor, right? Yeah

Wow the thin part of the gravy Yeah. Oh, no, it's not gravy. It's so thin. It's like an au jus thin brown sauce is what you get in there Next up five stars. This everything's in all caps. Thank you is the heading. Thank you everybody with the thank you This is grateful folks. Thank you for the heading. Thank you everybody with the thank you. This is grateful folks Thank you for the incredible Ness Salisbury steak meal banquet dinner brings the incredible Ness not I you know I can afford it. So I'm eating it. The taste is such a piece of heaven on earth. Well, I know heaven on earth Imagine if you took this person to a half decent restaurant, they'd be blowing the waiter like Please I can't believe you brought me this. Like a fucking Rubies or something.

Yeah, oh my god. Rubies. You could say, yeah, you take this person to a Chili's, their head will explode. As many chips as I want? Oh my god. It smells, and smells is with an apostrophe, it smells really good, and it's the perfect seasoning.

Seasoning! No, just brown shit on floor meat, that's all it is. With a teaspoon of mashed potatoes. Liquid smoke or something. Yeah, watered down liquid smoke. And then finally, thank you, again, closes it with a thank you. Wow. Four stars, the five stars again closes it with a thank you. Wow.

Four stars, the five stars are better than the one stars here. True. Four stars, this is a very good meal and very inexpensive at $1.68. You know what? One of those is true. One of those two things is absolutely accurate. You've said two things, one is a lie. One's a lie, which one?

No problem at all chewing the steak and then in parentheses if you have dentures. This is an old person. Yeah. So interesting. Fixed income. Yeah this is what they're eating. Three stars. Good taste but you ruined the container. Oh what happened? This person's got complaints. The mashed potatoes used to come in their own section walled off from the meat. Oh You ruined it Hi Fucking cinnamon apples. Yeah, I think it's all floating around together now. Then this is the hubris here

I contacted you when you first did it you contacted banquet meals and said fix this please and they haven't listened to you Over a dollar sixty eight. It's a dollar sixty eight. That's what I mean Just fucking put your face in it Don't even use a utensil and just eat it all no matter what it's doing yourself make sure own I contacted you when you first did it now I contacted you when you first did it. Now there is Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes all smeared over it as if the mashed potatoes are gravy. They go on top. That's from it defrosting and then you know refreezing. It takes away from the delicious meat and meat gravy and renders the potatoes worthless. The

delicious meat and meat gravy. Stop calling it meat. Everybody call it the meat. Just say the banquet brand Salisbury steak. That's accurate. We don't know what it is. Let's say that the by-product. Oh yeah. The by-product. That's a good way to put it. By-product renders the potatoes worthless. Worthless. Next thing is all caps, you ruined it! The second time they've used that as a stand-alone sentence. You've ruined it. Every once in a while they just say that.

And we no longer buy this when we used to buy it all the time. Good lord. Holy shit. They did answer him actually. Really? Hello, we appreciate your loyalty and are sorry you're disappointed with Salisbury Steak Meal. We take your comments very seriously. Thank you for leaving this review and we hope that you'll give us another try. This should just say it's a dollar sixty

eight fuckhead what would you like us to do? We're not investing more money in the packaging. You're lucky the steak isn't people meat. Let's just say that. It's stuck with $1.68. This might be horse, you idiot. You don't know. Whatever it is, be happy because it's meat. Three stars, apples were very disappointing. Oh, the tablespoon of apples that you had were disappointed? Yeah, you're worried about that?

I eat frozen meals quite often. Oh boy, I'm sorry. And usually enjoy the banquet Salisbury steak meal. But the one I fixed today had fixed it. Had barely any apples in it. Yeah, there were literally two bites. There's normally two and a half bites. That has been the problem since I was a child. The dessert is fucking great and there's never enough of it. You lick the compartment.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Or run your fingers through it. I'm a compartment licker. Yeah. Yeah. I'll lick the fuck out of that thing. Yeah, that cherry shit was great. Yeah, it's good.

I have pictures showing the lack of apples. Well. It took a picture for bangles. Give that to the Warren Commission and they'll figure out this and JFK assassination together. Fucking idiot. Very disappointed in the quality today. All right, they didn't respond to that person.

Not worth it. Yeah. One star, bad from start to finish is the title. Yes. Yeah, it's a banquet meal. Hadn't tried one of these in eons, but need to regain some unintended weight. Regain some unintended weight.

I guess from an unintended weight loss. So I thought I'd try one don't know the next sentence horrible from start to finish meet unfit for human consumption yes they paint on little like grill marks like like that things been on a grill stop it like there's a guy outside. Did you flip the Salisbury steaks? Hold on. Let me get my tongues. It turns them all over and then brushes gravy on them.

It's less meat than a McRib. It's not meat. A McRib is way better quality than this. Absolutely. Super. Yeah. It also had tiny bone chips. And then in parentheses, I'm an ER nurse.

I know bone chips. Uh oh. And then in parentheses, I'm an ER nurse, I know bone chips. Okay, yeah. Mashed potatoes turned into runny glue and corn so dry it's misshapen. Yeah, that's what it does, it just dries to nothing and then you eat it and you go, hmm. That only it was. It's what a microwave did to this.

Yeah, usually you don't make your vegetables like that in a thing of water in the microwave from frozen. With a film over the top of it. Yeah, that's weird that you had to slice a little tiny thing in with a knife. Like when they're like, make an X, and you're like, a full X or just like.

All the way across it or just in the middle? Exactly, that's the other thing, yeah, how far? Show me, give me a diagram here, and then I lose my mind. The fruit apples included Included five minute cubes five minute cubes five little I think is private I'm trying to say in a sludge of congealed sugar. Yeah, that's delicious. That's what you want a little congealed sugar sludge It's good And then much like the Holocaust never again. They say

Will not be had. One star pig trough, question mark? That's what it's for. This was my teen's fave. Now, we buried him last week at the Bohemian cemetery after his heart exploded from too many banquet meals. No, I'm kidding. High cholesterol and too much sodium. Now, I like these, they say,

now thy he's had a couple, I think now that is what they're trying to say, but now thy he's had a couple that have been all mixed up. Corn, potatoes, meat and dessert in what looks like a slot bin. Well, it's all going to the same place. It is a slot bin.

It's a dollar sixty eight. Just mix it together and eat it. All the kids refuse them now. We move to another brand. Sad because he had graduated to the bigger meal. Oh, you know, every parent has one of those days that are warm in your heart, you know, your first step, first time on the bicycle, graduation from like high school, and when your kid moves on to the backyard barbecue hungry man, that's the one that makes you go, you know what,

we've done it. He's a big man now. He's a big boy now. Since I worked till 11 p.m. three days a week. He eats tv dinners three nights a week So he's in terrible health. My son's in terrible health is what he just said One star the steaks are disgusting. Yeah, the meat which is a knacks nasty mixture of multiple meat products. There you go Tasted worse than canned cat food. Don't be don't be don't exaggerate You can't even smell canned cat food from more than from less than three inches away

Oh, if you'll eat banquet, you'll probably can't cat food. Oh, that's nasty I've seen people try and they can't like swallow. No, there's a crack this comes out. Oh, I know that's yeah, that's what I'm saying That's that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's that yeah, that's why they love this shit I guess that's where five stars came from we purchased only the steaks and gravy and made our own mashed potatoes They they said let's make this tonight The look on your face and I said that Jimmy's jaw dropped his eyes got so wide like they bought Bought in the Salisbury steaks and then like whipped up mashed potatoes and shit

Along with a big salad They got vegetables chopped them put them in a big fucking bowl and tossed it and made this Toss the shit in the microwave. Oh my god. You are doing it so wrong My God, you are doing it so wrong. Thank God we had enough potatoes and salad to make it a meal because the quote unquote meat was totally deplorable and in our family's opinion not fit for human or even animal consumption. They sell the family size of the pieces of steaks that you just buy the steaks and then you can make size. I know. I've seen the big boxes of them. We're supposed to make like not a salad. If you're

making a salad, make whatever else goes with it. Oh my God. One star. I ate this and it is bad is the title. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I ate this and I got sick and it was pretty disgusting. I started crying as I was expecting the nostalgia of a frozen meal. Being 80 years old, food poisoning is very dangerous and my life was on the line. He made it and started crying because it wasn't right and then he ate it. Good God. Now he's really upset. Yeah, now he's really upset. He said, my whole family was on edge over a frozen meal. Oh made me sick. This is extremely unprofessional

And while I lived that moment will not be forgotten. I'm sure he almost murdered by a Salisbury steak Why did you make that terrible choice in your eighties? I remember being in the hospital on my bed praying for my life over this frozen meal. He was in the hospital over this my life over this frozen meal. He was in the hospital over this. $1.67 almost killed him. Wow. I was not very happy about the meal either. The mashed potatoes were soggy and sm- That's the least of your concerns! He's got a gripe about the- He just said, aside from the trip from the- aside from the dead baby I found on the ground

with flies all over it, the rest of the place is nice. That's what he just said. And it wasn't even tasty. And spread out and the steak was soggy and flavorless. I'm giving this one star today out of disgusting taste and life scarring issue that happened. My God, that is fucking absolutely remarkable. And then one star yuck, all four exclamation points, attempted the Salisbury steak dinner absolutely horrible.

It should come with a roll of TP. I want somebody on death row to choose this meal, hoping that it kills him before the needle. Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll give him a day. We'll see what happens. I gotta do this one too. One star dog food question mark?

Maybe. I had hoped that the geek chiefs would consider taste a top priority. The geek chiefs? What is that? What the fuck are they? Chefs maybe? Maybe chefs, geek chefs? I had hoped that the geek chiefs would consider and then all caps taste a top priority the less common spelling P-R-Y already. Double exclamation point. The next thing is a whole sentence I'm going to say. Corn good. Whole sentence with two caps by the way.

Corn and good. Corn good. Okay. Taters not so bad with real butter. Tater's should have been apple sauce, not a tiny piece of fake apple. Meatless meat question mark. No, that's not sauce, man. That's yeah, it's no, no, no. My dog would not eat it and I have seen the critter eating out of the cat box. Oh, Jesus. God. Eat it out of the cat. A lot of people complaining that they changed it. A lot of people saying that there's bugs in it. That

doesn't matter though. He eats cat shit. He won't eat this. No. I need cheering up. What about you? Oh boy. I'm very sad. Let's get our blood flowing here, Jimmy, with the personal item of the week, everybody. Here we go. It is the, I'll show you the picture before the description, here you go, if you're ready for that. Oh my. Yeah, it is a 10, well, it's specifically a specific kind, as I'll get into.

10.8 inch realistic big wolf dog dildo. It's a dog dick. What? It's a dog dick. So it's got the bump on the bottom so you're, you know, you can't get away. Turn backwards and all. So veiny. Big wolf dog dick dildo with extra large knot and suction cup. Thick silicone wolf monster XL dildo long and wide dildo anal huge toys for women and couples arrest every person that is ordered this yes they especially if you knock on the door and a dog barks kick that motherfucker down and take them away in

cuffs because there's a problem is this on Amazon this is on Amazon there's different sizes there's a 7.2 a 7.7 a 9.7 a 10.8 and a 7.2, a 7.7, a 9.7, a 10.8, and a 13.2 inch dick. All sorts of different sizes. You're trying to fuck a Saint Bernard. Yeah, this is the 10.8 inch here. 24.99 only on Amazon. 25 bucks. I just said only.

What a bargain, everybody. It is a good deal. It's not a bad deal. It's 4.2 stars on Amazon here and they say big knot design. This is the description Yeah, this realistic wolf dildo features a big knot and lifelike head designed for advanced players needing Seeking a fulfilling experience It boasts a total of length of ten point eight inches and an insertable length of seven inches While the maximum width

reaches 2.3 inches. That's the ball thing. Indulge the fantasy with this giant thick and fat dildo. What's the fantasy? Is it to fuck a dog? Yeah, it's to fuck a dog. Arrested. It's cuffs.

Richard gives it 5 stars. Old Dick over here. Dick Wolf he would be then at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Five stars. The title of the review is Track of the Wolf. Okay.

Perfect anal toy. He ordered the 7.2 inch version. Perfect anal toy. I ordered the small size and then in parentheses wolf pup. You know, in case you want a young wolf to fuck you. Yeah, just to check size, quality of materials, and other details. You know, make sure it's like a dog's.

Yeah, maybe I'll get the leader of the pack next time. Maybe, you never know, fingers crossed. Now that I'm completely satisfied with all details, I will be ordering the alpha male pack leader next time. That's why I was like, I knew that was coming. That's why I'm like, I don't wanna say it yet. That's exactly what it's called. Unbelievable.

Yup, 100% perfect for me. Okay. Okay, Ty five stars, huge, feels great. Oh my God. That's the title, yeah. Feels great, huge in my ass. Feels great. Really filling, especially when you haven't had anything in the back door for over a month. If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about out there. Haven't had anything in there. You

know, I went straight to this monster just a few hours after I got it. I'm not a warm up type of guy. No, I like that. I don't want me to go, what do you got that? What is that? A fucking traffic cone? Right up my ass. No warming it up. Right up my ass. Oh fuck a fire hydrant. I'm not scared. I don't care. And I don't need a warm. Nothing back there for a month. Watch me hop on it. I'm gonna spit on it too. I don't even need no lube. My ass is fucking rugged. Unbelievable. I got down to the knot, but hopefully tomorrow I can take the entire thing I'm not so sure though This thing is huge the length is what might stop me from getting over the knot that's he got the 13.2 inch version That's the full dildo and he also three thirteen point two inch five stars Wow

also three 13.2 inch five stars wow I can't take it to the knot which is I believe a Rolling Stones song isn't it yeah I think it might be I think you're right about that poison poison it's a poison song yeah yeah but he says quote I'll keep trying he's's going to take it. And again, that's the 13.2. Next up, five stars, 7.2 inch version. Wow. So many surprises. Oh, always.

Around every corner. I decided to start with this one as I feel I'm never quite sure of what I'm going to get despite sellers giving full and accurate dimensions. What does it feel like in my ass is what I'm wondering. Yeah, I need an accurate description of the feeling. I need that. I wanted to try this one because of everything going on at the base. Oh yeah, the lock.

I wanted the knot at the bottom there. The lock in place. The shaft is on the thin side and really flexible which had me concerned at first, but once I got started it was no problem. Oh boy. Flexible which had me concerned at first but once I got started it was no problem The knot at the bottom is a very welcome addition But what really blew my mind was the way they designed the base to be part of the fun It really stretches you out without going too far Yeah, I don't is that what you want is that I think that's what he's going for here

It's a it's a padlock at the base. Yeah, so if you get stuck, I think that's what he's going for here. It's a padlock at the base. What if you get stuck? I think that's what nature had intended. Is that the idea? Part of it is going to the hospital, Jimmy. That's part of the fun. Don't you know how these things work? I highly recommend this toy, especially if you play alone

and ride it vigorously. Holy shit. R.J. gives five stars. He has, or she, whatever, has a picture of three of them lined up in different sizes. The big one is. $75 for that picture. Yeah, $75 worth of dicks.

The big one is way bigger than the others, too. It's enormous. In thickness and everything else. Three's a charm, is what this person wrote. I bought all all three and I know what I'll be doing on weekends. Lol. Yeah getting fucked by a dog. Haha Gearing up Left to right we have the nine point seven the ten point eight and the 13 inch, right? I'm no beginner, but this guy will have to practice, practice, practice to be able to play with this big boy 13 inch.

That's your big boy right there, like Seinfeld there. Imagine. Imagine typing that into the internet. Big boy is all caps by the way. Your big boy 13 inch. That's fucking hilarious. The 9.7 is the perfect one to start and work your way up to the 10.8 if you can last that long. If you're not a fucking pussy.

You're not a punk bitch I guess. They're all high quality and easy to clean up when you're done. I would give them a medium firmness which is perfect because you never want to injure your bottom. Right. You don never want to injure your bottom. Right. You don't want it to be made of stone. Come on. Five stars, it's huge, not for beginners.

No. I did not expect this thing to be this big, and it's scary to see in person. Boy, oh boy. I obviously got hard immediately, but not what I anticipated. That's what it fucking says. The front side of the reaction.

But my asshole puckered up like a... I spit out a diamond afterwards. It was wild. I got the 10 inch one and that big part is like a fist popping inside you. Haven't even tried it out but the shaft is as big as my bombshell toy for comparison. I don't know what that means. Okay Four stars. This is much bigger than you realize. Yes You're gonna need to know some stuff here Yeah, it is too. It's big too big for me to take the knot sadly But there's no comma so it's just take the knot sadly

He wants to take it while he's sad and he can't do it. Yeah. I had to buy the 10 inch one to knot it to get over the knot. Knotting, I guess knotting it is a, that's the slang here. That being said the girth of this thing is very nice and it's extremely smooth, no texture. There is veins in it. We saw it. Yeah, it's veiny as fuck. It's real veiny. So it's extremely smooth no texture there is veins in it we saw it. Yeah it's veiny as fuck. It's real veiny so it's better for stretching than pleasure also just a note that they they're not silicone so they aren't very squishy. I guess that's good three stars pretty good.

Not bad. Pretty good here. Here we go. I purchased. Is that all he got? Pretty good, no, 7.2 inch. I purchased this a few days ago and when it arrived I was absolutely delighted. It actually fits quite snug in my anus.

I'll bet it does. Oh, that's delightful, yeah. Haven't been able to fit the knot yet. I have tried sitting on it sideways, shoving it in as hard as I can. I tried using body weight. I got a neighbor to come over and kick it as hard as he could a couple of times. I got one of those, and the neighbor come hit it with his car. That didn't work.

My own body weight couldn't get this thing inside. Couldn't do it. But no luck. Yeah. I think later tonight I'll try lube. You did this without lubing? What? What the fuck?

Oh my God. Ah. Masochistic son of a bitch. Yes, try lube. My neighbor across the street with a dirt bike, he has a real strong right foot. I figured what the hell. His daughter plays soccer. I'm gonna let him have a dirt bike. He has a real strong right foot. I figured what the hell. His daughter plays soccer. I'm gonna let him take turns kicking this thing. I hired an ex-heavyweight champion of the world to give it a right draws. That

didn't work. No lube. No lube. But overall the product was really well made. Wish the shaft was a little harder and the knot was more squishy. Overall I like the coloring. It's the coloring of a dog's dick. It's like red. Oh my god, that is disturbing. 4 stars, 7.2 inch. I tried shoving it in there. Weird, no lube. I guess you are a beginner. Yeah, don't even know to put lube in your ass Four stars size was great. Yeah, it's a small toy, but it fits really well Just a bit small the seven point two inch one fits like a glove like a glove like a glove I would hope it would

No. I put it in, walked around, it was falling out of my asshole. It was just too small. Oh my god. I like this here. Luke with three stars. Halfway so far. Thanks for the update there. Let you know when I finish. This is the 13.2 inch. So I gotten used to I've gotten into using toys a few months ago Most of the toys are about two inches wide and eight inches long and I always felt like I could go bigger You know what I mean when you feel like you're you're not accomplishing living up to your full potentials Yeah, I could go bigger So I wanted to step it up and actually get up to five and get a big one and this is huge

I'm sure this is a one-to-one scale of werewolves. Well He's fantasizing about being raped by a werewolf this person yeah So this toy is that it's really really hard to get in because of the tip I tried every position I could think of to get it in and nothing worked until I tried a doggy style wall approach. Well that makes perfect sense that the doggy style makes it go in. I also used a stretcher and a stretcher. I didn't know that was a put. No not laying on one. You're gonna need one after you use it though. And a smaller size of one of these beforehand so I felt like I could do it and I did it. It felt amazing.

Got it. At first I was surprised I got past it and it also came with this amazing feeling that it went in and it was, and I was so shocked it popped out which made me feel even more amazing Then I popped it in again and decided to see how deep I can go and I got about halfway to the knot Definitely gonna keep practicing but hoping one day I get a machine that does it for me. Oh boy get a fuck machine here Don't get a machine you Can't handle that Then finally last two, two stars incorrect

description. Oh no it's not dog enough like for him, not furry. Yeah it's not rocket enough. Come on man 7.2 inch dildo he bought here. There is nowhere near 7 inches long. It is 5.5 to 6 inches total, 4 usable inches because they mean with the suction cup I think it's not soft and flexible. It's incredibly hard and painful Do not waste your money scam You couldn't get more of this in there if you want how big do you want it? Yeah, you're this thing hurts you Yeah, Jesus Christ one, don't buy from Henry. Well, 7 point whatever inch one here.

I really did want to love it, but it's not a safe toy. It's not a safe toy. There is not enough room after the knot. Also, the material is hard and isn't a great texture. And then this is another one of those otherwise. Otherwise, it's a good size, and this is the scariest thing we've heard all day here. And I love the concept.

I love the fantasy of being mounted by a wolf. But you know what? It's just really hard to get one to do it before they eat you, so. This is the only way we can do this without incarceration. Without incarceration or having our fucking veins ripped out of our neck by a fucking rabid wolf. So there you go everybody.

We've had a good time, a scary good time. We have buried ourselves. We've eaten a terrible meal and then fucked ourselves like a dog. Fucked ourselves doggy style everybody. Holy hell. It's been a lot of fun. Please if you like the show check out the other two shows. We do crime and sports and small town murder. They're just what they sound like. True crime comedy. Also definitely follow on all of the social media sites. Keep hanging out with us. We'll

be back week after week. You can't stop us even if you wanted to god damn it. We're coming with more dildos and everything else. Have a good one everybody. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week. week. You can't stop us even if you wanted to, god damn it. We're coming with more dildos and everything else. Have a good one everybody. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week. Bye. Thanks for watching.