Your Stupid Opinions - Asian Lady Fade Up, Brass Balls, Frozen Pizza Disaster

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

More of the strangest one star reviews on the internet! We check out a barbershop, where no one can seem to figure out what language to speak, but leaves people with an universal emotion, anger. An NYC photo op, that will have you fighting for position, just to get a picture of balls. A very personal item that just seems to makes more laundry. A terrible store brand frozen pizza & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hey there, thank you so much for joining us. My name is James Petragallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. We are excited today to hear more people bitching. That's what we are here for.

We're here to serve the bitching class and that's what we're going to do. We're going to find all these complaints and grievances We are going to go to the the bowl in New York as promised a couple each other Interesting ones for us. We got a really gross personal item, so we'll we'll save that for last Because some people like some people listen with like their kids and shit, so we'll save that for last So it's like that you can yeah, you can turn that off at you know, 55 minutes or something It's just in case because it's a pretty gross one. So we have your personal item of the week Shut it down. It might be a waxing thing. It might be make it's possible

But I'm telling you today if you have someone that is not it's it's it's one of those today that you probably don't want your kids To ears or really anybody for that matter. Keep it to yourself. That's why it's personal. Your stupid opinions. Keep it to yourself. We're the only podcast that tells you, keep it tight. Keep it quiet. Don't tell nobody about this.

Keep it between us. All right. All right. Here we go. Keep it between us. Keep it between us. Let's start out at the Charging Bull. Okay, now you've seen this.

This is the big gold brass, whatever the fuck it is, bull in New York City out in front of the Stock Exchange. It's out in front of the Stock Exchange, I believe here. Three-ton bronze sculpture of a bull located near Wall Street symbolizing New York's financial industry. It is the bull market representing the bull market of, you know, buy everything you can and whatever the fuck. So it's got 4.4.

It's I don't understand why so many people would review this place because it's not an activity. Well, like there's no, you don't get into it. There's no like food served. It's it's literally a bronze statue sitting on this fucking sidewalk, so I don't know what you're reviewing. Somebody's gonna bitch that there's no bathroom. Yeah, I don't know, it's outdoor. There's 36,539 reviews of this.

What? That is so many reviews. That's ridiculous. It's crazy. There's only that many because there's an option to right Who would go go right to their phone and be like I need to tell my experience of staring at us bronze statue It's really a weird thing here. So it is Yeah, it's in New York in the city down there and we'll get right into this here with ball drew ball bud bad Ruhleden That's the guy's name. That's the first name bad Ruhleden into this year with Baldrude Badruledin.

That's the guy's name. That's the first name, Badruledin. Five stars, this is very recently too. The Charging Bull is a must visit landmark in New York City symbolizing strength and financial prosperity. The statue itself is impressive, but the area can get very crowded, especially with tourists trying to take photos if you want a good picture visiting early in the morning or late at night may be your best bet

well if you want it to be dark out yeah um still it's a great spot to experience the energy of wall street yeah by looking at this bull's giant breast testicles because that three thousand pounds of it three thousand by this guy I love it He has does a bad rule gin has a picture of himself leaning on the head of it like yeah face That's a good place. What's up fucker? Yeah, cuz you there's no like fence around this You can go up and touch it and dick with it and you know put your balls on it if you want do whatever Here's Nate with three stars. This is a weird tourist trap People make lines to take pictures, but it's an absolute mess many people just crawling over each other to take pictures

Then there are two guys taking pictures and charging for them don't know if they are legit well I'll tell you sir. They are not legit If you consider the two guys on the street legit than though as legit as that is but they don't like They're not like official Wall Street greeters or anything No, those are guys that are like if I offer to take tourists pictures Maybe they'll give me five dollars and that's how if I take pictures and just say that'll be five dollars Let's see how many people do it. I'll bet everybody it fucking works on those with those weirdo dirty Spider-Man cost Spider-Man costume people and all the fucking Hollywood Boulevard people the Sunset Boulevard people on there

Yeah, all those different they get those tourists all the time with that bullshit so isn't tourist trap like the definition of a place where Tourists go and you get money from them like what this is it's free. This is free. There's no money It's just a statue on the street. You can look at it and you get money from them? Like, this is the opposite of that. This is free. There's no money. It's just a statue on the street. You can look at it. Yeah, it's not a tourist route. It's stupid.

Around that, there are vendors selling NYC souvenirs, but each is charging a didn't, I think they mean different amount. They say a didn't amount. So if you buy before you do, but if you, so if you buy before, there's no commas here so I have to figure out what they're trying to say. If you buy before you do, ask what they are charging.

Definitely get in and get out quick. Yeah, buyer beware, check prices, and. You know, be a responsible consumer. Yeah, just be a 90, just a citizen of the world. Just be a responsible human being. Yeah, just be a citizen of the world. Just be a responsible human being. So next up, Sasha One Star. Always a long line of tourists waiting for their photo touching the bulls or nether regions. Appropriate salute to late stage capitalism?

Question. Well, it's wheelchair accessible so there's that because it's on the fucking sidewalk there's no it's not on the top of a pedestal there it's just sitting out there how many stars she get this she is being one one star okay incredibly passive aggressive about a bowl for Christ's sake yeah I don't understand just walk by it if you don't like it and if you want to look at it there it is I don't know what the problem here is it's a free they're

praying for the downfall of America calm down lady you could literally age capitalism yeah if you could lift three tons you could take it with you like it's not it's just there put it in your pocket the fact that it's fucking six thousand pounds is the only reason I know one takes it midst gives one star I still don't understand why people queue only to take pictures with the bull Harassing the bull statue by touching the balls believing that it will give you good luck harassing it. It's a fucking bronze statue It's I don't think it's gonna need therapy after you're done. It's fine. It's all right It is a good luck if you touch a live bull's balls, guys.

Okay, that's the... What? This person is like, listen, you don't know shit about superstition. The superstition is you touch a live bull's balls, duh. Everybody knows that. What the fuck are you talking about? Everybody knows you drag your tongue back to front. Everybody knows a bull What the fuck are you talking about? You drag your tongue back to front.

Everybody knows a bull likes the taint licked from top to bottom. See it's good luck for you. I don't know what the hell she's talking about. Who knows? Okay, Maria one star. The God of Ball. B-A-L. B-A-A-L.

Okay, yeah that's the person. This is a statue that represents the God ball a pagan God there is only one true God the God of Abraham Yahweh Please forgive them for they do not know okay, so we're she thinks that's the God that when we saying God we trust It's the bulls ball She thinks that they're putting a pagan God on the sidewalk and let let me tell you something, Maria, as much as you might think it's that, this is the god of capitalism. This has they don't give a fuck about gods and pagans.

And this is Wall Street. They would fucking turn God up. If God came back to Earth, they would turn him upside down for change to steal, to invest in fucking Bitcoin. Are you joking? These people would fucking eat God alive. It has nothing to do with that. So, wow.

PS, there are good luck bulls balls and it refers to that statue. That guy's wrong. There you go. Okay, here's one. Zhao, one star, it is now fenced and access is paid Total once a waste of time. I don't know who's charging money for it considering. It's just on the sidewalk, but there's like Okay, like the metal concert Yeah, but I don't know if that's I don't know how you would charge admission for something that's out on the sidewalk

Who's charging? I don't understand it. Well, let's see if Betsy has anything to clear this up. One star from Betsy. I wouldn't waste my time here. Oh well. Good for you, Betsy. This is clearly a form of a pagan god, again, that is famous for what people believe will make them rich.

Jesus Christ is the only way, the and the life the real bread of life I rather spend time with the living God our true creator of everything not a man-made golden calf creation Good then get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to take a picture with these nuts. We are not okay Okay, we're in trouble. We are not okay Someone went to their phone and typed this shit. Yeah. Just take a picture with a peace sign next to the balls and fucking relax like Jimmy just said.

Jesus Christ. Jen, one star. It is completely overrun by people. That's almost like it's in fucking downtown Manhattan or something. It's weird. It's people everywhere. It's like it's in downtown Manhattan or something. It's weird. It's people everywhere. It's like it's on fucking Wall Street. Jesus. You can't get a decent picture or even see more than a quarter of the statue because of the swarm. Sad. I was

looking forward to seeing this. You did see it though. That's the thing. You didn't get the best picture that you wanted. Who fucking cares? I've still never seen it. I've been to Manhattan a hundred times and never seen it. I don't think I've ever walked by it. Really? Yeah, I just, who cares? I don't think I went to Wall Street, because you know what, I don't have any money. Yeah, why would I go down there?

I have no interest in down there. Why would I be there? No. Sander, one star. It's disgusting. Trash everywhere. Okay, yeah. All around the bowl.

That's America. That's America. Ain't that America? Trash everywhere. I think's America. That's America. Ain't that America? I think that's what he's saying. Trash everywhere. Or ain't that America? Take a picture with some balls, yeah. All right, one person here, one star, way too crowded.

Too many cars and people, again. Oh my God. You're. It's on the fucking street, man. It is, that's like going to Yosemite too many cars and people again It is that that's like going to Yosemite and going not enough restaurants like too many trees That's the Grand Canyon not enough stuff up here members. Yeah, that's the reason for that too many cars and people It is not like in the movies Well, it's the same statue as in the movies. Actually, it's just like in the movies. Well, it's the same statue as in the movies, actually.

It's just, they just clear the people away to get a good shot with the cameras there. The thing about movies is they get a permit and they can shut the fucking street down. They got a bunch of cops telling people you can't go there. And for what, a picture with a statue of a bull? No thanks.

Yeah, that's it. Well, then you don't need to go here or rate this fucking place. Just not for me. This is incredible. I don't rate things one star if I'm just not interested in them. I just don't like things like this. I just go around and every church in the country would have a one-star review for me. Not really interested don't believe in it. I don't do that because it doesn't matter. I pray to a pagan bull's nuts. Yeah that's what I pray for out on the sidewalk. This is Mammy Depele. Mama Depele. Maybe maybe Depele

I don't know how you say that name one star hillbilly Italian lady. No, no, no, this is an Indian This is an Indian person. Yeah, okay very Indian person by the last name. Yeah One star it sounds like an Italian last name or an Indian first name one of the two We don't have the brave girl standing against the bull completely messed the feel and people either they want to ride or smash slash lick the nuts of the bull carrazy they put a barricade around the bowl maybe so people would stop licking its nuts maybe that's why they put a barricade around it the American Blarney stuff Jesus fucking Christ no shit Next up here one star the bull is really popular

It is so crowded it is very difficult to get a picture of him as one of the previous posters indicated Why would you buy this bull the answer is no? Why would you buy this bull? The answer is no. Would you buy a three ton gigantic fucking statue, Jimmy? Is that, you have a place in your house for that? I've been looking for something. I have a room. It's probably worth more money than everything I own.

I have a room that's just empty. I've been looking for something to put in there. I guess this is better than nothing. Unless it's hollow and I can live in it, I can't. Maybe that's it. He might look good, but he ain't going to give you any heifers with balls that small. Oh, what? And here's a picture of his bull nuts. You need them bigger than that? Those things are enormous. And they probably weigh 75 pounds also. That's the other. They're fucking huge huge probably they're also not operating sir calm down Oh my god

Not really sure what the fascination is with getting a shot underneath this bowl as the best-looking part of him is his head But yet you posted a picture of its balls, right? But I mean the I've seen a lot of bull statues. They never put the nuts on it. So when its nuts are on there, that's crazy. I want pictures of that. They rarely include genitalia in recreations of things.

It's rare. It usually has that like V thing, like halfway up its body. I don't know if it's a vagina or a dick. You can never tell. Doesn't matter. Well, it's a bull, so I don't think it's a vagina, but. Great point. Do any cows ever have horns that are female? Never? They might. There might be some.

I think all the bulls have horns. Yeah, they might have species of cows that I have no fucking idea about that. There's gotta be some cows with the little nubbins up top, right? I'm sure. I just know... They gotta protect themselves some way. A bull is a male, so that's... Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely... The big horns, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know, though. Who the hell knows the fuck They're how they're breeding these goddamn cows They're not like naturally occurring animals. Anyway, it's not like oh we came upon the great wild cow patch that was here We invented this thing. It's a god. These are all genetic now Yeah, and the chickens are too. That's why I'm fucking allergic to their goddamn eggs I'll probably be allergic to steak one day too because because whatever the fuck they're doing to these things. Who knows? Who knows?

So here is Mark One Star. I just don't see the point in queuing for an hour to touch a bull's balls. Well, don't then. Real easy. Here we go, AJ One Star. Went there last Saturday and it was covered with a blue tarp.

And there's a picture of it just covered with a blue tarp. I don't know what they were doing to it. Looks like it was bad weather. Maybe something was happening. Who knows. Maybe they were about to polish it. I don't fucking know. Who knows. They got to at some point, right? Does brass go bad? Yeah, brass. You have to polish brass.

It tarnishes, right? Yeahass will get all tarnished. Yeah, it'll get all fucked up. So, all shitty. There's many people who are licking these nuts. That can't be good for it. Dude, that's, you gotta polish. Those balls are probably polished, what, weekly, I would imagine. So much touching.

I love that they get rubbed down more than the rest of the cow. Yeah, it turns green all the time and shit. Yeah. So, all right, we've just, we've just seen the bull. We've touched its balls. We're feeling lucky now. There are a lot of people offended by nuts and me touching them are so tell you what you know what we need to do Let's take care of ourselves. Let's do some personal care here Jimmy not our own balls not with the personal item of the week

No, that's later on. We'll be touching our own balls. Don't worry. Okay. This is let's go get a haircut What do you say Jimmy you're looking a little shaggy over there? Well, we'll get my nose you're looking a little shaggy over there. We'll get my nose hairs. You're looking a little shaggy here. They do beard stuff here. So we can do stuff from there. This is the Leo Barber Shop. And it is in Las Vegas, 3869 West Spring Mountain Road,

Las Vegas, Nevada, in the Spring Mountain shopping center here. And it's got 4.2 stars on Google this place. Not bad. And there's some complaints. Here's one from Bo here, 5 stars. We're from out of town and I found the barber shop on Google. Called and they were very courteous and advised that walk-ins were welcome.

Had plenty of room and before no time all three of us are getting their haircuts and loving them great prices quick service and really clean haircuts who the hell goes out of town needing a haircut yeah Jesus we all look like shit and we're on vacation this is something you do for vacation right and here's some you look terrible so do you so do you this looks like someone with palsy? Tried to fucking carve something into someone's head These people are happy with that That's a that's a tribute to somebody with a heart condition. I think but it's all look at the bottom. It's all fucked up

I get that that's like a specific logo, but this isn't all fucked up, dude. It's all uneven Yeah, look at that a tattoo is a logo, but this is all fucked up, dude. It's all uneven. Look at that. You get a tattoo as a tribute to somebody and it's fucked up, you should be mad. And this guy should be too. This is just a haircut. This is horrifying.

I get it's in the undercut of a woman's hair, but dude, that is so bad. That's a terrible fucking job. Jesus Christ. It's either a woman or a very young man. Now that's, I think, the woman sitting up there. Yeah, you can tell by her flip-flops in her Yeah

So next is Ellen five stars Andy is so great All caps many owes my husband's haircut looks fabulous Too bad. We don't live in Las Vegas or we'd be coming here all the time. But anytime we're in town, we'll be back. Another person on the road. I don't get what is wrong with these people. Are you amazing? Are you like a fucking over the road truck driver? That's the only excuse I've been on the road for three months.

I got no choice. Other than that, go home, get a haircut. How trusting are you of a random haircut place? That is so specific sometimes. Oh absolutely Ron one star Okay, and by the way from what it looks like Like the the stylists a lot of them look to be it looks like a black barbershop or at least black adjacent Barbershop type of thing so So this doesn't make sense. This review is an odd one.

One star. Do not come here especially if you're black. Okay? These guys are unprofessional. I think he is black. I don't think he's saying, stay away from this shit, you black bastards. I don't think that's, I think he's saying,

yeah, something else. He's saying if you're black, they'll fuck your shit up. These guys are unprofessional. I will never let a non-English speaking person touch my hair again. Take a look yourself. I don't need to lie. The worst part was the main barber, Juan, got upset with me for being unsatisfied by their services.

It's an absolute joke here. Horrible customer service. Save money or look for a more professional barber, and he's got his beard here's oh Jesus just like I don't know if that's him making the patches patchy. Yeah, that's a tough beard Did you want to fill that hole you shouldn't have that beard number one? Yeah, if you got a patchy beard man give that shit up I don't care if you think beards are cool or whatever you look like shit for you. No, it's just not for you

Yeah, this is all I've got. Well, that's like if you wanted a ponytail. Yeah, it's not for you It's not for you. You could technically grow the back of your hair out make a ponytail out of it But you'd look like an asshole. It's the same thing. I had beard faces Yeah, my head looks like your face hair bud. Yeah dude know what the fuck your strengths and weaknesses are and do that. Self awareness. Self awareness. The other side's not patchy though. No what? So that's interesting. Check out the other side of his face. Maybe they did that to his beard. Maybe my man put a fucking patch in them Yeah, I think they had to have fucking patched his ass up over here. So damn they fucking hold his ass

They did not do a good job. That's a bad fate of a beard. It looks bad. That's just a bad Bad beard Anthony one star they were busy and I didn't have an appointment. So I got referred to the younger guy Well, guess who's bad that is? You motherfucker. Yeah, Are you out of town? Well then. You wanna wait a long time or do you wanna go to quote the younger guy? Which one?

Those are your options. The stupid, yeah. He messed my hair up so bad. It was uneven and lined up horribly. I had to go get another haircut to fix it. And she took pictures and said it was not even at all. She was surprised an actual barber did it. There's a lot of hair people in my family growing up.

My grandfather was a barber forever at aunts and shit that were in the business and there's never been a haircut done by anyone else that someone who cuts hair goes, oh wow, they did a great job last time. It's never happened. No matter what, if you sat down and someone else did it, they'd go, Oh, what the? Who the hell did this to your head? Oh my god, Jesus, how'd you walk around like that? Yeah. It's a fucking tragedy. So is it a plumber or an electrician or a haircut person? Same thing. They all do the same thing. All of them. Yeah, mechanic. Who? Oh my god, who put these...

Holy shit! You're lucky to be alive! Yeah, you're lucky your fucking wheels didn't fall off while you were driving for Christ's sake. It's a terrible job. Bessie, one star. I literally feel so offended. If you say literally within the first two fucking words you speak, I'm giving you this inflection, because that's who you are. And literally feel? You can just say I feel, we get it. It's, Jesus Christ, we gotta stop with this literally shit.

It means something, so now it doesn't anymore. It doesn't, have you seen the videos of the guy who walks up to groups of girls and just goes, literally, literally, literally, and they're like, they're like taking him with them in the next group. They're on board with him? He doesn't say a word, but literally. And they're like, oh my God, yeah, blah, blah, literally, and they're like, they're like taking him with them in the next group. They're on board with him? He doesn't say a word, but literally. And they're like, oh my god, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

They're like, come with us, we're going. It's the funniest fucking thing in the world. He'll just, he's like a black guy, he sees like a group of white girls, and he goes, literally, literally. And they're like, oh my god, right? And they're like. Points at an orange Julius and just goes, literally.

Literally, no, points at them. Literally, like you guys are so cool or whatever. And they're like an orange Julius and just goes literally the points at them Literally like you guys are so cool or whatever and they're like, yes, it's like no You can't use that fun of you dipshit first word So I literally feel so offended I came to this barbershop Like I have before for a simple edge up and sat there for like 25 minutes They take walk-ins and this guy walked in and the barber asked him Do you have an appointment and he said no, I'm a walk-in and the barber said come on. I told him sir I'm a walk-in too. I've been sitting here. He told me I'm not cutting your hair If he was going to refuse service to me for whatever reason I would have appreciated a quicker heads up

I think he doesn't cut ladies hair is what it is They got certain people that cut ladies say like I know how to cut hair. I don't fucking touch a woman's hair I don't know how to get a woman's hair. I don't know what the fuck Sarah say that all time you can cut my hair Like no, I can't I can't I don't know how to do that. I know how to do a guy's hair just fine Yeah, and the other part is I don't want to deal with whatever fallout comes from that Oh, yeah, I don't want to walk around with your head looking fucked up and know it's my fault. That's You're gonna have to pay to get it fixed anyway, so what are we talking about? I don't want to I don't want to close my eyes next to you in bed

Not whether or not you're really satisfied next to you in bed, not knowing whether or not you're really satisfied. You'd be signing an agreement of you don't give a shit what happens to your head, basically. This will never come up again in the future. I will not, no balls will be broken in the, this'll be like an NDA for fucking haircuts. I understand I might be walking into something terrible

and I'm doing it in full will and my own Disagreement agreement. Yeah, that's the one you'd have to do that ahead of time because otherwise I don't know how someone wouldn't be angry for with you for fucking their head up Well as a teenager we still cut each other's hair and shit, you know, it was like shave ups Yeah, you know what I'm saying. We were same era. Oh yeah, it's the shaving the sides and trimming the top. It was so easy. Dude, I remember this one kid, we were cutting hair and my friend was cutting this dude's hair,

one of my friends, and he like turned around and said something and then went back to it and just went vroom and had put it from like a fucking two to a zero by accident and just shaved this whole kid's head off, it was the funniest fucking thing in the world. He like, dude turned around, tried like four times to punch him and then laughed so hard he fell over.

So that's fun. That's how you. Well, start over growing this, I guess. Well, and then that was it. He just, hey, he was bald after that. He had to shave his whole fucking head that day. It's fucking hilarious. It's so funny how that I did the idea of just I'll shave my head like it's like an extreme thing Yeah, it's it's the easiest thing to know that feels fucking super right. Yeah, I would never go back lucky for him

He was a black guy. He looked cool. It was like That didn't hurt you at all. Jesus Christ fucking you upset about Jesus Christ. Fuck are you upset about? It made you so much cooler. Jesus Christ. This is real DMX now. What are you complaining about? So, Catherine. Put a bandana on it. Wow, it looks great.

Forget about it, Jesus Christ. Even better, even better if that was possible. I put it on, I look like I have cancer. You put it on, you look like you're a gang member. What the fuck? You look tough. I look like you could. I look like I have cancer you put it on you look like you're a gang member. What the fuck that's you you look tough I look like I look like you could I look like you should put a dollar in my in my cup. Yeah, you look tough. I look vulnerable. Yeah

So one star from Katherine horrible service you ask for a specific haircut and they do and they doing whatever they want They doing it. Yeah, nothing you could do doing it and doing it and doing it whatever they want they doing it you could do they doing it and doing it and doing it well so what are you gonna do the oriental lady that they have to be the oriental lady ching chong or whatever fucking name was Chun Li over here what the fuck fuck you doing? The Oriental lady. We're going to act like we don't know that that ain't At least she didn't say like a stereotypical name and then say, or whatever their name is. But this borderline that the Oriental lady is fucking funny.

But I get it could be confusing for people because they have Oriental rugs and Oriental flavored ramen soup. And you look at all this stuff and you go, so Oriental's okay. It's like's like well technically it's for things not for people thing but okay I mean I don't know what to say so the oriental lady yeah that they have age too because oriental rug means it's super old from the Orient oriental food is the old style of that food, but Oriental, you can't be an Oriental person. I'd be a 1400s person.

Well, yeah, I mean, because it's the Orient is the area. So someone from there, that's how they came to be Oriental. But like, we, I think we did away with that, like in like the 40s, right? That wasn't even. Yeah, it was just because that group used it it's like not positive yeah so the the oriental lady they have doing haircuts need more training because she don't know what she doing she don't know what she doing but she'd be doing whatever they want we

was on vacation and my husband looking for a Latin and good barber shop We found this barber shop and the Latin's guys Latin's guys just promised my husband that the oriental lady are the best and it's not The oriental lady are the best and not she's not it's not it's not Holy shit, and when you try to claim nobody help you and not even return the money. No, of course not. So the moral of the story is avoid the Oriental lady, I guess. I don't know what else to take from this.

You don't get your money. You don't get your money. They, they know, they never returned the money. Freya one star here. I'm non Latino and waited 20 minutes to get a cut for my four-year-old son. They didn't bother greeting us, should have been my cue to leave, or tell us they had no patience to work with him if he wasn't experienced in the chair.

Spoke only Spanish and demonstrated no empathy over what turned out to be our predicament when they rudely refused to cut his hair. They don't do kids. Yeah, I was saying a kid's cut. Did you see a fucking giraffe on the wall? That's what I mean. Do you see a fucking PlayStation 5 in front of the fucking chair?

No, for a reason, because this isn't a fucking, what is that? Cool cuts or whatever the fuck those places are. They're used to cutting a moving target and yeah, whatever. It doesn't say Tots trims out front. Just fuckin', you get what you get. Michael One Star, this is all caps by the way, was going here for years to Marco. Marco the barber was on vacay as opposed to Marco

the state representative in this particular. What are we talking about? You mentioned him. Marco the barber was on vacay as opposed to Marco the state representative in this particular what are we talking about? You mentioned him. Marco the congressman. Marco the barber was on vacation and I had Leo cut my son and I hair. When Marco came back from vacation I simply asked Leo to tell Marco what he did because I liked how he did our hair. I was told to leave and that I could never come back because all I asked.

That's not what happened. That's not what happened. You're like, yo, Leo did a way better job and Marco was like, yo, fuck your mother. And then they went back and forth. Don't come back. I will never recommend this immature barber shop. Oh, now they're immature. They're immature. They're immature. They're Oriental. There's a lot of problems here. I will never recommend this immature barber shop. Oh Immature they're immature. They're oriental. There's a lot of problems here

Josiah one star beware worst haircut I've received in a long time three exclamation part mark so that must be real means it I shaved my head after and charged 25 bucks Ridiculous not even spelled spelled anyway you would imagine. Ridiculous would be spelled. Too many U's and a C that does not belong there. And charged, it was only a $25 haircut and then he shaved his head to fix it? To fix it, he said fuck it, it's over.

Ridiculous, I guess, is what he's going for. The guy Julian is a terrible barber B. B-E. I guess is a terrible barber B. I don't know if that's what he's going for. Choi one star. Whatever you do don't let the Asian lady cut your hair. All caps four exclamation points. And this is from Choi. This is from Choi. Well, Choi, the last name is not Asian.

And their profile picture is all the New York sports teams. Well, the good ones anyway. The Yankees, Knicks, Giants, and Rangers. Yeah. None of this fucking. Yeah, none of this fucking Mets Jets bullshit. Mets Jets, Nets Jets Nets horse shit keep that to yourself Okay

Asked for a mid razor fade. She gives me a military cut and leaves me guidelines What? It stops Stop she puts the guy. You know you can't leave that shit That's some shit you get for yourself, and then wow Faded in she made it too deep though. I guess is how it is I had to come home and fix my own hair you should just cut your own hair to begin with yeah What are you doing?

I would leave no stars, but then I can't leave this comment. That's not if I could leave zero stars I would just and then all all caps multiple exclamations just don't let the Asian girl fade you up oh my period don't let it happen Wow one star here barber held the clippers in his hand and talked to the other barbers nearly the whole time. That's a barber shop. Yeah, that's, oh my God. You can join the conversation. That's how it works.

Or else shut the fuck up and sit there. So. The amount of times I've had like, they're just shaving this thing. But he's shaving, then I hear it click off and I'm like, and they're just chatting. And then he's like, you don't want him chatting with that thing on He'll fucking whack your head. Let him fucking do their business

Yeah, like my grandfather barber for 50 years did it since he was 13 years old and all that kind of shit And so yeah barber shops, they're all chit-chatting. Yeah been going back and forth. That's an Italian barber shop I assume you know, this is I've been in black barber shops. It's the same thing. So I don't know I assume you know this is I've been in black barbershops. It's the same thing so I don't know Anyway, um took me over 30 minutes to get to get a lineup And I had to remind him to cut the hair off my face Charged me $20 and didn't even use a razor rip off never again All right, Jesus Christ Didn't be one star.

The guy on the right at the entrance. I keep saying what I wanted. He keeps finishing up, cleaning. Can't wait to get me off the chair. I went to another shop to fix my hair. Worst guy ever. And I say, worst, because it's W-O-R-E-S-D. Worst. Worst guy ever. He tried so hard to adhere to English language.

He really did. I know that EST means the most, so Warris. Warris guy ever. And I like how he did that's his closer too, like that's my sentence, I'm going to fucking wrap it up with a big bow on top and he's like, worst guy ever, and then he mic dropped it. Pow, take that. Jennifer One Star, went to this barbershop place, went to this barbershop place, all right,

and I explained one of the barber, whoa, this is all, I don't know, English is not their first language, I doubt here, Jennifer, And I explained one of the barber the kind of haircut I want it. I guess they didn't know English. Dude, you know, you absolutely don't tell me I guess they didn't know English because they didn't try to read your fucking review.

With, by the way. You can't be right like this. No punctuation, look at this Jimmy right like this no punctuation look at this Jimmy no punctuation didn't know English didn't know English are you fucking kidding me this I got her yeah so much trouble we are not okay everybody your stupid opinions shows you this is the real world This is what people do who's out there when you're not looking way with you. Yeah on the freeway This is what they're doing while they're driving poorly leaving long winded you guys

They're leaving long-winded bad reviews with misspellings complaining that other people don't know fucking English. That's what they're doing reviews with misspellings complaining that other people don't know fucking English. That's what they're doing. So be careful out there. I'm going to go. This is the person complaining about no English. I'm going to read that first sentence again, or it's all one sentence. So I don't know. I went to this barber shop place and I explained one of the barber, the kind of haircut I want it. I guess they didn't know it. No. And oh English. I explained the haircut and even show them a pictures, a pictures, a pictures. They kept saying, they kept saying comb over. Oh spiky.

And I kept showing them the picture. I guess that would have been the sign, but I took a risk and did not and did not got the haircut that I want it or show show them I got a short flat top, what a disappointment, I guess I will just have to wear a hat till it grows back. They don't know English. Or how to cut hair, evidently. Wow, holy shit, man.

Just wear a hat. Never get a haircut, just always wear a hat. Wear a hat, just put it up in a big thing, like a seek and fucking put it under your hat. Yeah cares works for them Kathleen one star tried taught tried taking customers to the barbershop Google Maps took me to the back of the building I called four times asking where the shop was and nobody could answer me because I did not speak their language not good for business.

Okay was it Asian or was it Spanish because I'm not sure here. Here's one star I called for information and the woman on the phone had horrible manners. Oh boy lucky she didn't cut your hair. It would have been even worse. You got off easy lady. Don't worry. Ronald one star. This place is not good for people to have service like phone service or care cutting service. They have bad customer service and attitude. Oh,

and attitude. Okay. A Javier one star. It's always got, that's, I mean, that's it. I was like, that's all you're giving me. There's no anything else one star I always go to this barbershop to get my hair and beard cut with O'Nell O'Nell Oh, no, O'Nell, but today he wasn't there and I arrived and as if no one wanted to cut my hair They were like I'm not going to continue. You're going to continue. What do you know? Then I better go. What is that a freestyle? Right? What the fuck are you doing? You just dropping some bars or what the fuck dude? I don't know what this means.

I okay. I gotta figure this out. Okay. He arrived in O and oh no isn't there that we know that we've established there's no oh no Yeah, we want oh now I arrived and as if no one wanted to cut my hair They were like I'm going to continue Comma you're going to continue comma. What do you do? What do you know, then I better go. Nope, I'm lost. It made less sense the second time, is that possible? It's harder to. The first time I thought I had an idea

of what the point was, but now I'm lost. All right, here we go, Kevin one star. This is all caps again again except for the last sentence which breaks into lowercase letters then back into caps. So who the fuck knows? That's good. One star, terrible service, super disrespectful, unprofessional. I made a call to their number. When they answered I told them hello, my name is Beto and their response was, Peto my Peto. Hahaha! Shit!

Oh god. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's what's going on there. That's a good joke. Peto my Peto. Okay, that's pretty funny. And I hanged up the call.

As one would do. Yeah. Very unprofessional I thought this time was going to be different because the I'm gonna give it a shot though Because the first time I went without making an appointment an old decrepit Cuban attended me what? An old decrepit Cuban.

Beto sounds, I mean, he could be a Spanish speaking community. Everybody I've ever known named Beto is a fucking Spanish guy. I don't know about you. Feels like he's throwing a slur in there. An old decrepit, well yeah, maybe Beto's Puerto Rican. You don't know. I'm not a fan of those Cubans. Puerto Ricans, Cubans, well yeah, maybe Beto's Puerto Rican. You don't know. I'm not a fan of those Cubans. Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Dominicans, very different people and they definitely don't like each other, a lot of them, yeah.

An old decrepit Cuban attended me. That he didn't know how to make a cut well, that he only wanted to do what was easiest for him, but not what the customer had asked him to do. This same old Cuban guy, when I tried to grab a business card, he told me no, he did not give cards. Maybe he doesn't have one, man. I think this guy tried to grab one and this guy blocked him from grabbing his cards.

And he did the whole cut wrong and he treated my head as if I was practicing as if I was practicing Whoa, very unprofessional. I do not recommend at all and it's more if you have had a problem with the Lord himself Contact me and we're gonna teach you a lesson on how to treat people Well to see if you still want to treat customers badly. What the fuck does that mean? It feels like he went to a went to a college a beautician school to get a haircut Is that what he's claiming about I? I don't know and and they don't like him if you have oh my god If any of you have had a problem with the Lord himself

Contact me and we are going to teach you a lesson on how to treat people well to see if you still want to treat customers badly. I don't know, Pito. I don't know, Pito. That's like a biblical thread are they making to you? I don't know. If you are reading this old Cuban, let me tell you that the day I see you, you will pray that you treated your clients well He's threatening to murder this old Cuban man. He is he's threatening violence upon this Cuban That's crazy. How old is this old Cuban man? I hope he's not Jesus Christ That is fucking crazy. Okay. He actually threw a slur in there, too He said if you're reading this old Cuban and a ri which is-I, which is short for, he's calling him a homo there. He's calling him.

Yeah, that's a gay slur. He's, yeah. He shortened it up and he's calling him a, I thought it was enough to threaten his life, but he's also calling him a slur. Wow, that's kind of interesting that he used the Spanish, but also Mary is kind of that too, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, that too.

But not the I. That's fascinating. Yeah, the eye is where it separates. He just hit it with the eye to let him know that. That way, you know. You know what it means. I'm not calling you a girl, I'm calling you a gay man. See, there's a difference. I'm not calling you a girl, I'm calling you the man that tells girl things.

A man who likes penis, yeah. Deal with it. A cock sucking man. So anyway, we gotta get away from here. We've been overwhelmed with slurs and fucking angry haircuts and everything else. So let's go home and just calm down a little bit. I'd love it. Let's go, because we've, the bowl, it's so crowded and then we go here and, you know,

we didn't get the haircut we wanted and we're angry at an Asian lady. So let's just go home and pop a nice frozen pizza in the oven. What do you say, Jimmy? Oh, we love doing that. What are we say Jimmy? Oh we love doing that. What are we going to get? We're going to get the Great Value Rising Crust Supreme Pizza. At least the screaming Sicilian James. No, no we're getting a Walmart brand Great Value Rising Crust Supreme. So it's got yeast in there. Yeah. There's yeast and meat on here and vegetables. It's expensive. Because it's a Supreme. And for the Rising Crust Supreme is only 497.

Oh boy. So you know it's not a good pizza. Don't eat that. No, don't eat that please. You're gonna get so sick. It only has two and a half stars on Walmart. Yeah. Because it's 2.7.

That's appropriate. That is bad. About this item, great value Rising Crust Supreme Pizza, 29.05 ounces. That's a heavy pizza. It's almost two pounds of pizza. Yeah, that's a lot of pizza. It's a lot of pizza. Tasty toppings including tomato sauce, whole milk mozzarella cheese, Italian sausage, pepperoni, red peppers, green peppers, onions, and black olives. Made with whole milk mozzarella cheese, Rising Cr crust bakes up thick and fluffy.

Don't want that in a pizza. Ready to eat in 23 to 25 minutes. Six servings for pizza. Keep frozen until ready to enjoy. Here we go, okay. The nutritional facts, by the way. One slice is a serving. And one slice has got a lot of bad shit in it.

Well, 330 calories. One slice is 24% of your daily sodium intake. Oh my God, that's a lot of salt. So if you eat two thirds of this pizza, that's all you can eat for the rest of the day. Packed with salt, saturated fat, 23% of that for your days intake as well. One slice.

One slice. God damn. The ingredients list is wild. The ingredients list takes up an entire page. What? The picture of it. Look at this dude, I'll just show it to you. Look at this.

Holy. And that's just the crust. That's, dude. That's terrible. Holy, and that's just the crust. That's, dude. That's terrible. Enriched wheat flour, wheat flour niacin reduced, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, water, soybean oil, sugar, yeast contains 2% of the less of a bunch of other shits that all sorts of chemicals dehydrated crap.

It also says contains bio engineered food ingredients on the bottom. No. I don't know what that is, but I don't want to eat it. What could that be? I don't know. Meat? But I'm sure it's meat, bioengineered meat. They're not actually killing fucking cows for this pizza or pigs or anything.

This is, this is a dark room where they have some weird Petri dish experiment for Walmart fucking great value Supreme pizza pepperoni doors no questions They're like what's in that room, and they're like that's where we make the pepperoni animal, and they're like oh God You just you open the door to here you just hear In there you're like what animal is that it's a pepperoni don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry about it. We've bioengineered You just like you kill it and slice it up that's how it works Holy shit, so yeah your hunger calls for a pizza with serious toppings, great value,

rising crust, supreme pizza is just what you need. Holy shit. Nobody needs this. This is, the only thing, the only people that need this are people that otherwise were going hungry. This is so horrible. I can't believe we sell this. Or if you're like 20,

and you have a studio apartment, cause you'll be fine, you could eat this when you're 20, no problem. This is fine to eat when you're 20, it's okay. You can do anything to your body. My body can't do this anymore. No, my body is definitely saying this is too much sodium, I'm not doing this.

Oh, you're in a lot of trouble. You're gonna feel where your kidneys are in a minute. Oh God, your liver somehow is gonna be involved. Here's five stars from somebody here their title of their review is Yum. Yum. Really? I don't know why there are so many bad reviews on these pizzas. You're not a reliable reader. I don't understand it. I'm a connoisseur of pizza too, this person might as well say. But I've finally ordered two of them, a supreme and a meat lovers, and they are fantastic. I prefer my meat to be grown in a lab. Yeah.

I got the ones that are the rising crust. Yes, it is a rising crust all the way through the pizza as a matter of fact it reminds me of a focaccia But they're absolutely fantastic. They are yummy you got to try it at least once You got to try. It's like you know you got to like You got to go to the Grand Canyon at least once you got to try it at least once I Mean really indulge yourself here is another person Jaeger for least once. You gotta try it at least once. I mean really, indulge yourself. Here is another person. It's not Yeager for Christ's sake.

You don't even know what this tastes like. Gotta try it. Gotta try it. Oh god. YM gives it 5 stars. Perfect Pizza. What? That's the title.

Perfect Pizza not sure why some other Dupour reviews. We buy this regular even for company. No issues. You serve this to people. People come and then they do. You must only get one time. Every time someone comes over, we serve it to them and then we don't see them anymore, but we serve it to them. The first time you invite people to your home, that you trust in your home. And you put this out. And what do they, they have to eat it or else it's rude.

Now what are they gonna do? What are they gonna say? This is the worst pizza I've ever had? Of course they say there's no problems. Jesus Christ. Courtney four stars. Great for the price. There we go.

Now we're talking, that's what it should be. Listen, if you want a Supreme pizza with a rising crust for five bucks, this is the only fucking one that's available. So otherwise it's it's shit, but you know, uh, good for the price. The, uh, these are quite a bit cheaper than the leading brand and tastes just as good as you. If you ask me, they cook up nice and full. What? So they're not lopsided I guess? I guess. If you follow the directions correctly, put them in an oven and leave it there for a while.

Take it out of its packaging. Yeah, that's the one you really gotta follow. If you leave that plastic on it, it doesn't work right. It's no good. It chokes it. There are plenty of toppings and it's overall delicious. Is that right? Overall, okay. Three stars from Deb. Yeah. of toppings and it's overall delicious.

Three stars from Deb. Not crazy about this pizza. There we go. Now we're talking. And here's the review. The sauce flavor tastes weird. Not enough ooey gooey cheese. Now you lost me Deb.

You used the word ooey gooey in the review. I got this pizza once before and thought it must have been stored near some cleaning products, question mark. What? Before. So this is the second. You bought it, thought it tasted like cleaning products and said... I probably just put this one next to the Mr. Clean. It was just next to the Lysol. That's the problem. I see.

Does anybody else get after notes of fabuloso? Nobody? I'm getting pepperoni, yes, the pepperoni animal, I'm getting that, but I'm also getting, what is that, spick and span? I'm getting something in here. Little pledge, little old English. Getting some comet, and a touch of all temperature,

as a matter of fact, also. I don't know where that came from. Is that bartenderender barkeep friend? Holy shit there won't be a third time purchase. Yeah. Thank you Holy shit, it's the pizza Nope, I don't know how it would through osmosis go through from that palette to this palette And also who stores the cleaning products in the freezer I don't think that's where you've got a frozen pizza

Three stars from Andrew. It was good for the price The crust was the problem. It tasted like baking soda or powder Yeah, that doesn't sound good. That's the whole thing there Nelly three stars Great value pizza is her title This was the nastiest pizza. I've ever tried never again three stars good three stars That's how great pizza is even the worst pizza you've ever had is still three stars still pizza still could be worse Yeah, this is my favorite title ever. Two stars here, shaped like pizza. Wow, that's all it is.

Two stars for the shape? Two stars because it's round? Because it's round, I guess you get an extra star for the shape being actually a complete circle, which is nice. Where should I start, dot dot dot. Oh, at the beginning. Here we go. About as bland and tasteless as a pizza can get

Chewy tasteless crust topped with a minimum of mediocre toppings Pizza is also about two inches smaller in the in diameter than the box if you're Yeah, that's so it's so that fits in the fucking you're talking about. Yeah I guess I'm lost here like a red baron's pretty tight in the box though Oh, they want it like fucking quarter an inch from the day one like crazy. I don't know why I don't know why they give a shit You can feel how big it is and the weight is the thing anyway if you're like me and pizza is a special occasion Okay, you poor bastard, And I don't, like,

because pizza's relatively inexpensive. This pizza is a special occasion? Yeah, pizza's not like a luxury item. Pizza is what you get when you're poor. Right, you're eating this because everything's right there. When I was like 18 and living and couldn't afford heat, I ate pizza every day

because it was fucking cheap enough to eat all the time. That was what was cheap. There's a reason Caesars still exists. Yeah, there's five dollars hot and ready that sells hot and shitty who cares Just spend an extra buck or two and get a better pizza And that's what it's all about get a fucking red baron get a tombstone get yeah many of the other ones Two stars here weird aftertaste. Yeah, I bet. Probably. I've purchased these in the past,

but will not buy again. These have a weird aftertaste that I just can't put a finger on. It's spick and span, we figured it out. It's chemicals, man. It's on the same level. Yeah, I enjoy the thick, chewy crust, but that aftertaste in the crust is just not pleasant

Yeah, it sounds like yeah, they definitely use some sort of industrial solvent to make this Maybe it's maybe it's whatever clean whatever cleanup they use to clean the machines after they've made Maybe and then they run it back through and the dome of the other the dough the mixer. I'm not sure Pizza is tasteless two stars Walmart has really blown it with this product Didn't like anything about it. It was almost tasteless and the crust didn't rise at all Yeah crust was tough didn't like the sauce or the sausage on it. I will not buy again Okay, that's right One star from Chris tried this again and very disappointed. The amount of

people that ate it once went, that was gross, and then bought it again is outstanding to me. It's wild. There's fascinating. There's very little sauce, cheese, and toppings. It's all bread, which is extra rising one inch depth of flavorless crust that would only be acceptable if in deep dish format with lots of sauce and cheese For five dollars. This is a ripoff and nothing's really a ripoff for five dollars anymore. You've got An entire meal for five bucks you crushed. That's yeah, what else are you gonna get for five dollars? It'll make you got a whole days and more sodium. Yeah, it's worth it Your saturated fat is good for like three days, bro. You should be fucking thrilled with this shit.

For five bucks, that's cheap. It was better quality when it was $3, this guy says. He wants a $3 Supreme pizza. It wasn't worse? There's no value here. Spending the extra dollar on Freschetta or DiGiorno. Yes, if you want a rising crust, do that. Boston gives it one star, extremely poor, is the title.

Not great. And with the pizza. I was gonna say, is he talking about the other customers? Not great value, no value. Over great time, great value, I guess value, misspelled, has continued to raise prices and lower quality. This pizza now consists of very little cheese, pepperoni, and vegetables, hardly any sauce.

The new trick is they toss some oregano all in one spot, yuck. In one spot is the glop of oregano, and call it a, I guess he means pizza, but it's just P-I-Z-Z, so they call it a I guess he means pizza but it's just P I Z Z so they call it a piss Really Walmart get your act together. It's Walmart It's a warehouse for people to fight in what are you talking about have you ever It's mass produced garbage in there Surrounding people doing UFC moves on

each other. Old ladies trying to fucking do UFC moves on each other. Chelsea one star they changed the ingredients. I used to order a great value rising crust pizza or two or two on a grocery haul somewhere between the last two weeks the ingredients have changed. This person's a fucking connoisseur, they're on point. Literally the one from this week's grocery haul was so bad and so different than the prior week. Great value, what did you do? It's so gross now. It had seasonings, fake parm and tasted chemically. It's like they went with cheaper ingredients but tried to cover it up with spices. Gross dude. Dude. That's the way you end that one. That is fucking hilarious and then we will do a couple more here. One star.

Great value pizza is a totally disappointing gross. It's totally disappointing gross. It totally disappointing gross. It's all one sentence. No comma. No comma, no periods. This pizza and the other ones from Great Value are exactly the opposite of what the meaning behind edible actually is.

Total garbage. Yeah. So bad I threw out half of the one I cooked. Well that's like three days worth of saturated fat. You should be, get that out. You ate half of it, man. Man. I cooked well that's like three days worth of saturated fat you should be And I cooked the three and cooked the one I cooked and three frozen ones that I had bought at the same time not sure What the reasoning was for discontinuing the Sam's Choice which was in my opinion was far and above the better pizza It's the new it's the same brand. It's just they reb just they rebranded it. It's all made in the same

shitty factory next to it all kept next to the comet it's all the same thing. They own it either way. Yeah and it's right by the thousand flushes either direction so Brenda gives one star. Bitter crust. I used to love the great value crust rising crust supreme pizzas all the time But they changed the look of the box and obviously the ingredients and crust recipe It's gritty like cornmeal is in is in it and bitter baking powder taste just ruined a good pizza Here's Albert one star missing item Another item another missing item in my delivery bad thing is I'm charged apparently he didn't get his pizza from the Walmart home delivery

here that is fucking amazing to get to taste Mrs. Meyers did no nothing no shit okay let's do one more last one here. One star from Shelly, disappointed. No cheese, sauce is like a spicy Mexican type sauce. Salsa is on there, what are you talking about? Are we, are we, are we be-ada? That's what I mean, what are we talking about here? Only reason is it a frat-i-ave, that would be a, yeah. Only reason.

I doubt Walmart has that. I don't think they do. It is a great value frat-i-ave be a yeah I don't think it is a great value Friday of what do you think everybody I don't think so either probably not when you're done with this pop down to the frozen foods and pick up Walmart's the funny part is one of the things that like if I'm not around in New York that I miss is like around here if you're in a restaurant and you want a little spice, you can go, Frida, you have it up a little bit for me. And they know exactly what you're talking about.

Can't do that. Try that in Ohio. They go, ah? What? They call ice on you. So. What is that, from the godfather? What are you doing?

What are you talking about here? Only reason it is rated one star is because it wouldn't let me submit zero stars you fucked it all up, dude If I could give it zero stars I Would that's it It won't let me submit zero stars week Let's move on to the personal idea we go weak everybody it is wild looking I'm gonna show you Jimmy here we are It is it looks like it looks like I Mean it looks like an alligator's back as a

Tom and alligator's back. I was gonna say it looks like the Venus flytrap from fucking Little Shop of Horrors, except without the petals, and if a giant tongue grew out of its ass rather than it was in a pot. That's what it looks like. And then the tongue has an alligator back for texture. Yeah, for texture, and then there's another tongue too,

so it's lots of tongues, and the description here. Oh, there's a tongue coming out of the mouth too, huh? Yeah, that's what I mean, that's why, there's another tongue too. So it's lots of tongues and the description here coming out of the mouth, too Yeah, that's what I mean. That's why let's see that there. Oh See that that one goes in yes, it's got Audrey to lips. Yeah, it's got Audrey lips. That's it looks like Audrey without the petals That's what it's weird vibrator adult sex toys for women four in one tongue thrusting vibrators dildo rose sex toys with 10 licking clitoral and 10 vibration mode G-spot clit stimulator pleasure tools for female couples games. That's like a mouth guard for your pussy that makes you cum.

That's a description. It looks like basically if you were taken aboard a ship by aliens this is what they would attach to your genitals to keep some sort of monitor on you. That's what it looks like. This is how they check your heartbeat on spaceships. You beam the info back up to the fucking thing. So that bottom piece goes inside,

and then the other thing is like a sucker. It's a slit sucker there. It's gotta be small, huh? That is crazy. 4.3 stars out of 1800 40 ratings on Amazon. This thing is popular on Amazon. That's on it. This is Adam and Eve on Amazon. It's $29 and 98 cents. That's where I bought a license plate. Yeah. That's where I bought a lot of fucking things. This is unbelievable.

I bought hangers on there a couple weeks ago. They got this too. Well, you struck out, James, because let me show you a picture of what you could have bought. The messed up part is the hangers didn't make me come at all, and I tried. Trust me. I stuck them up my ass. I tried fucking them. Nothing worked. So I guess I should order this instead. Those are more for after, James. That's after, yeah, you're right.

That's a problem. So here we go, let's find out about this. About this item, three in one Vibrator Rose Sex Toy, new upgraded adult toys, dual tongue vibrator, combining swinging, licking, and vibrating functions to provide a comfortable experience by simultaneously stimulating the clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot areas, this innovative rose sex toy vibrator

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designed for female pleasure well they wouldn't be much you couldn't design a g-spot one for guys it wouldn't help us very much. This thing fucks the whole pussy. This attacks your entire pussy. This is like a team of four smurfs working on your pussy is what this is. Just working it over all of them. It's licking the whole thing at once. Wow. This clitoral sucker rose sex toy for women introduces a completely new experience Making it stand out among women's sex toys And also there's a luxury liquid silicone women's sex toys they talk about that so it's made out of its waterproof USB rechargeable as believable all

Sorts of shit. Yeah, definitely it would also it works as a Roomba if you're done with it You can just put it down and collects also vacuums your car. It's good Dana or Dan Oh five stars perfect Really got this for my wife and I to try to spice things up. It's Dan Oh, yeah We had a kid and this year's been hell on both of us so we're trying to get back to the fundamentals and trying to reconnect with one another. So I got an alien to sucker pussy.

I thought that would connect us and make us closer. We're tired of trying to connect through sex with this thing fucker instead. See why we told you to put your kids away right before this one because it's gonna be dirty. We talked about some new stuff for the room and doing stuff for us in all caps for a change rather than just a quickie off and out stuff. It came in the mail the other day and used it for the first time last night and my wife said it was so strong it was strong comfortable and really easy to clean great size great vibration motions only thing that would be better is if it had a little suction on the upper tongue area but all in all it was easy to use and fun to use and

she turned the bedroom into a water park lol clearly i won't add any pictures lol of course oh my god water park in the bedroom, okay? That sounds like a lot yeah, it's like she really enjoyed this fucking thing Patty gives five stars. I'd like to hear it from a woman here because the guy is like I don't need a Disgusting man, he'd be like man. man, I had to change the sheets after that. It was good. Fano sounds vile. Five stars. Love it.

This is wonderful treat yourself. This adult toy, and then period, is very easy to use, period. You will not last five minutes, period. She just used this she can't she's like a complete thought she's just making too many spaces and it forms periods automatically I love it and bought one for a friend also see that's the difference with women women will be like this will make your pussy feel so good imagine if I bought you a flashlight you'd be like why are you

giving this to me James this is What the fuck is wrong with you? This is an insult. Yeah, I don't want this. I'm not fucking something my friend gave me. That's creepy. Share the joy with others. This product is so soft and has multiple functions I have tried every last one of them wow and cannot last more than five minutes lol the sound is not too loud and I love the

color reminds you of a tongue a very nice thick long tongue God Jesus Christ horny again she's gonna say she is this thing is in her pussy Before she's done with this thing it also helps you have a great night's sleep. Yeah, it made you come five times Of course, you're gonna sleep. Well, I would also recommend this to anyone. Well, we know that you buy it for people It's better than any toy I've ever had most of all she's in love with this toy like She's in love out Most of all this toy allows you to share it with your friends? No! No! No! That is your pussy sucker lady!

This is... No! That is your whole pussy fucker. It's in you and on you. You can't give that to other people. I guess she means share by buying another for a friend and then what are they going to have a conversation about it? Yeah, how much did you come? Wow, I came this much. Are you ladies doing this? God damn.

Let someone else enjoy this wonderful pleasure. I think if she's talking about loan it out, like a library book. Depo in their tile counters. Like a carpet cleaner from the grocery store. What's happening? Take a credit card. Just leave it.

Yeah, leave the number. They take an imprint. That's how it works. Also, not to mention that the price is just right. It's an easy purchase, an easy gift to give at the right price. Wow. Miles gives 5 stars.

This was designed to kill you. I never came so quickly in my entire life. I was begging it to stop like it was a sentient sadistic pleasure dom bent on punishing me with intense overstimulating orgasms. I was terrified This toy owns me now. Okay, don't buy this toy. This thing sounds like it's I think it's an alien I think it's an alien and it's just this is miles. This could be a male. No, the picture is of a woman I don't know if that's yeah miles. I guess I mean there's chicks named Charlie. So why not? Yeah if that's just, yeah. It's a gown and miles? Really? I guess. I mean there's a chick named Charlie, so why not? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. This toy owns me now. I can't live without it. Oh. I've never in my life been cockwhipped by an inanimate object before. Cockwhipped. The female version of Pussywhipped or the cock-liking version of Pussywhipped. This thing really goes hard.

I want this toys children She wants this toy to impregnate her Wow, that's my only complaint is it can't knock me up. That's just a shoot Who Sara gives three stars good toy dead toy? She killed it. Oh The smell of it is strange. It had a nice suction and vibe. The size was decent and it was quiet. The speed was amazing, definitely did the job, discreet.

The charge was terrible, couldn't use it long until it went weak. Couldn't use it long until it went weak. Luckily, it makes you come in three minutes, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't take long, it doesn't need a long battery. No, when I clean, that's confidence is what that battery is. Listen, this is an eight-minute battery You're not gonna need more. Yeah, it's gonna kill you out of that. It's really for your own safety that the battery is so low

Try to marry it. Do you I try to marry when I cleaned it? I guess it just stopped working the tongue stopped thrusting and wiggling I hate when that happens and it just got this scent like it was burnt wiring inside. Wish it lasted. It was a favorite. Lady, you rode this thing till it died. Did you use it twice? If you came that hard twice,

that's 30 bucks worth of coming, right? I think guys will go out and pay a prostitute Thousands of dollars for one. Tons of money for one. Yeah, I think you got your money's worth. All right Three stars strong smell the smell OMG. I can't get past it. It smells like fresh paint and toxins Other than that, it's exactly how it's described seems like it will be great But I have to do some intense cleaning to get this smell out

Okay, we are gonna stop there for the week. That's heavy, man. Because we have a lot more reviews there, and I don't want to cut it short because these are fucking hilarious, and I definitely want to read more, and we'll definitely finish up next week. We'll make this our personal item of next week as well, and we'll finish this all up next week, and we'll find out how many people didn't like... Now if you've

heard this crazy shit about from these on the good reviews yeah what bad could be could it be you know what I mean other than taking my clits gone other than I've married it and then it cheated on me and then wouldn't pay my alimony and like other than that I don't know came home and the neighbor was fucking it in my bed fucking it hard look good So there you go everybody. There's your stupid opinions definitely give a review on whatever app you're listening on also Certainly listen to our other two shows crime and sports and small-town murder keep coming back and hanging out with us you crazy bastards We will see you next week everybody. Thank you. Bye. Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your

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