Your Stupid Opinions - Band Aid Pizza, Flying With Danger, Finding Your Fursona, Mall Of The Dead

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

This week, we hear many crazy reviews, including a discount airline that may not get you there quite as fast as a bus. A pizza place that may add some unwanted toppings. A personal item that ...will help you find your "fursona". A dying mall that apparently judges you by your car & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondery plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey. Hello there. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Oh man, do we have some wild ones for you today. We have an airline that seems sketchy, which is always fun for us. Oh boy, love those. All the traveling we do. We love to hear about people's terrible travel problems that didn't happen to us. That makes us happy. Oh thank God, travel. Yeah problems that didn't happen to us that makes us Hey, that didn't happen to me great, but then it puts like new worries in my head for next time Yeah, so we'll see we got a crazy mall to go to a very fun personal item. It's a good It's a good week this week. I'll tell you that right now as it always is
Starting point is 00:01:00 We'll get right into this before we do though Definitely follow us on social media and listen to our other two shows if you like this Small-town murder and crime and sports which are exactly what they sound like so that said let's do this here We go into the mall, baby. Let's go to the mall. We're going to, Missouri Jefferson City, Missouri is where we're going to the mall It's the capital mall is what it's called. And is Jefferson the capital of Missouri? Is it? I think it might be. Yes, it is actually Jefferson City. Yes, it is. I think about the game of the states from when I was seven years old and I was like,
Starting point is 00:01:33 yeah, I think it is. Otherwise, it never Jefferson City. Yeah, what the hell? Otherwise, I mean, you know, what other reason do you have to look into Missouri? You know what I mean? I don't know. It's the only way I remember. So capital malls, a shopping mall located in Jefferson City, Missouri. It opened in 1978. Its anchor stores are currently JC Penney and Dillards. So you know they're doing spectacularly Sears closed in 2017. It says here obviously they don't even have a Macy's. They don't even have a they might be. It's not an anchor though. If they do, I doubt it. That would be an anchor. They're kicking JC Penney out of there have a Macy's? They don't even have a Macy's. They might be. It's not an anchor though if they do. I doubt it. That would be an anchor.
Starting point is 00:02:06 They're kicking JCPenney out of there if Macy's is coming in. So this is, it's got 3.7 stars out of five and it's got 2.7,000 reviews. So quite a few reviews. 3,600 Country Club Drive, Jefferson City, Missouri. Let's start out with Christina who gives it five stars. This person travels into the mall Stop they come to this just for the mall. I come from Barrett, Missouri every so often But it's definitely worth the 30 to 40 minute drive
Starting point is 00:02:36 What to the dying mall because this mall is dying by the way? The mall recently added a very large bouncy house, which is the signal by the way for a mall going downhill. When you see them open up like that, it just sells like foreign drinks, you know what I mean? And like gum from Sri Lanka. And then next door is a bouncy house. That mall is doing poorly. It's not doing well. Oh, I got a large bouncy house and I got my kids the hour pass. They had so much, I don't know, fun or what? They had so much bouncy. I don't know. Just said they had so much exclamation point. Yeah. Okay. After that, I got me a nice little petty at
Starting point is 00:03:17 the nail spa near the entrance. She was lovely too. I absolutely love coming here. And then a heart even. After, hold on. So rather than doing it while. I absolutely love coming here. And then a heart even. Even a heart. After, hold on. So. Rather than doing it while. Right. Yes. She said, now you wait for me.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Is what she said. I've seen you have your fun. I waited for you. Now you three sit in that fucking chair and don't move. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have so much. While this Asian lady messes with my nails. Yeah. That's another sign of a, of a dying mall. Yes. As multiple nail shops. That's another sign of a dying mall
Starting point is 00:03:45 is multiple nail shops. That's a... The one by the entrance. If you go to the Christown Mall in Phoenix, it's like 17 nail shops, three cell phone case kiosks, a bouncy house, and Costco, and that's all that's fucking there. I think Christown finally closed.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Did it put Costco's attached to it? Did they? That is Paradise Valley House. Oh my God to it? Did they? Uh, that is Paradise Valley. Oh my God, it's still open. Yeah, it's still open. No, I, because I, when I lived down there, it's like we used to go to whatever down there and it was uh. Yeah, it's still there.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Yeah, it's sad. It really is. Even like the foot locker in there is real sad. I remember looking around and I was like, they don't have like anything in here. What's going on? A lot of weird shoes. Really weird. Yeah, they had like strange brands. I didn't know of
Starting point is 00:04:28 Brand is a Yugoslavian is that's not even a country anymore Fuck is happening Croatian Trainers, I don't want these air air Boris. Yeah, who the hell is that? Who is Boris? Air mousse laughs like? Who's that? He's going to do very good. He is good with basketball. Next up Gerald gives five stars went to the CQG Capital 8 theater of the movies and saw Wolverine and Deadpool. They told me wrong theater for the movie time.
Starting point is 00:05:04 There were two people working the counter. They were what the fuck? S L L O W. What is oh slow. I think it's forgetting it. I was like allow. They were slow and it took six people 10 minutes to get tickets and munchies. The movie did start on time. Well, that's helpful. But the theater number six I was in badly and needed seats replaced or reupholstered. They were all tore up and cracked in the seat face and the back. The ticket price for the 5 PM matinee was reasonable at 8.50. All the concessions were ridiculously high priced. You're in a movie theater. That's why...
Starting point is 00:05:42 You paid 8.50 to get in? That's amazing. For a matinee? Yeah, that's not bad, I guess. That's theater. That's why you paid 850 to get it. That's amazing. Yeah, that's not bad. I guess that's Incredible. It is rural, Missouri. So yeah, that also helps Everything's probably cheaper to sit in bad seats. I had a small box of Raisinettes was five dollars. Yeah, that's movie theater prices I think that's pretty seems about right. It's a proud right. That's what you expect to pay That's why you tell who whatever woman you're with to bring the big purse and then you load it up ahead of time. Let's not be fucking amateurs here. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:06:10 Jesus Christ. Come on. Who are you trying to impress? Yeah, what are you, buying $5 Raisinettes like you're the fucking Rockefellers over here? What are you doing? You got movie theater Raisinette money? Good for you.
Starting point is 00:06:22 No, get the hell out of here. What are you going to do? Have thousands of bottles of baby oil next? Raising that money? Good for you. No. Get the hell out of here. What are you going to do? Have thousands of bottles of baby oil next? What kind of lavish, crazy freak-off life you living, motherfucker? Come on. I'll see you at the toy. Overall, I say 1.8 out of 5 needs some big improvement.
Starting point is 00:06:39 He gave 5 stars, though, but then he says overall 1.8. 1.8. Why'd you give five stars? I don't understand that. Deb gives three stars. Not a lot of foot traffic, lots of empty stores, but it's getting better. It used to be worse. Guess what too, malls don't die and then come back.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Once they start dying, it's dead. It's on its way down. It's going to keep going. Dirk gives one star. Basically a walking court for the old people. There you go. That's what malls are. They get there at the crack of dawn and they walk until the stores open and then they run
Starting point is 00:07:14 before normal people arrive. That's what old people do. The nice malls, they're starting to have a resurgence again. Kids like going and hanging out again. I'm enjoying that. Well, that's helpful. Well, they like to go and stand around and look at their phones together. It's better. Yeah. Just see what I just posted on Instagram. Yeah, dude, I did.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I saw it. Yeah. You better like that shit. Yeah. See that picture. I just took of the thing that we saw together. You better like it. I'm fucking, Oh, I don't care when kids do it. It's when adults do it that bother me. Yeah. That's what's very annoying. Yeah, it is. That's very embarrassing. Let's see, so it's a walking court for the old people and there ain't jack to do in there. And there is T-H-E-I-R.
Starting point is 00:07:55 There ain't jack to do in there. They seriously need to consider updating the place or close it down because it's pretty much a pointless building at this point. Pointless. Oh boy. Carrie is very upset with One Star here. the place or close it down because it's pretty much a pointless building at this point pointless Carrie is very upset with one star here. What a joke she starts out with Must be a Canadian as we found Big on the joke doors were locked before closing time of 7 p.m. I thought I would give them a chance but not returning
Starting point is 00:08:23 Huh? Oh, but not they thought you would give them a chance but not returning. Huh? Oh, but not, you thought you would give them a chance but the doors were closed so you didn't get a chance to so now you're not coming back. If it's close to, if it was like four and they were locked. That would be weird. Maybe I have a problem. If it's 645, they'll lock so you can't come in and others can leave.
Starting point is 00:08:36 That's how they do it. Yeah, it's because you're not coming in to fuck around in shop. Nope. You're not allowed to do that. That's why they lower the gates halfway when it's near closing time. That means don't come in but you can leave if you're already in here. Anybody that's in here that's buying shit, we gotta get them out.
Starting point is 00:08:53 That's what the closing time is about. Nothing in there worth buying anyhow. Save the trouble and shop online. Well don't complain, your malls are dying then. That's what did this. Yeah. Mike gives one star. The SSM Health Children's Experience is absolutely disgusting. What the hell is that? Is there like a kids clinic in there or some shit? SSM. I don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Sounds like some sort of sexual children's experience. SSM. It stinks like it had been cleaned, hasn't been cleaned in years, and you can feel the air conditioning stop at the door a gross Warm stinky room. It certainly is an experience best avoided Experiencing quotes. All right, Terry one star. I would have put zero stars If I would have had the option he goes with Yes, which is an Even more annoying way to say
Starting point is 00:09:45 that. My wife. You could have said it so much easier. Oh man, my wife and I went to here. We went to here. Went to here. And spent a bunch of money and she had to use the bathroom. Spending money makes me have to go too. It's just what happens. Yeah, I'll pay you whenever I have to. Oh, you know. Janitor was getting ready to clean and I told him that my wife is nine months pregnant and had to use the Bathroom right now and begged him to let her go and he would not let her go He actually turned the cart sideways and made it so she could not go down the hallway I told him she's pregnant. Please. He's like a pregnant mess in my bathroom
Starting point is 00:10:23 You could have that fucking kid in there. That's messy. I don't have that shit. I hear they're shitting for two. I told him she's pregnant. Please let her go to the bathroom first. He would not let her do it. We will never ever come back here again.
Starting point is 00:10:35 What a disgrace. Okay. A disgrace. What a scumbag. Scumbag. Sammy, one star. Well, there should be an option for negative stars If I could give zero stars I would that's how you say it that's how everybody now we know this shit
Starting point is 00:10:57 restructuring it don't we try to sound more intelligent oh Well there should be an option for negative stars Well, there should be an option for negative stars. Because I have never been to a quote mall with zero people inside. Sounds like a dream. No? That sounds great. That sounds great. I love it.
Starting point is 00:11:14 That sounds awesome. You rented out the mall and didn't have to spend a dime. The smell was awful. Well, maybe that's why there's no people there. The employees had zero care or knowledge. The food choice is slim to none and absolutely disgusting It's sad to put such a harsh review, but this is just horrid You looking for to eat? I don't know they have fast food was there an Auntie Anne's there's some shit
Starting point is 00:11:36 You can shovel it in your body Chillin grill there something Tori one star please This is all caps the first the first sentence is all caps, four exclamation points, so they fucking mean it. Please don't take your children to the play place here. Why? All three of my children loved the play place, but all three of them have gotten staph infections.
Starting point is 00:11:58 What? Wow, like it's a fucking locker room. Staph infections, what are you kidding me? All three children have, were they licking it? How do they get staff infections? Open wounds if they got burns maybe, that's all I can think of. I know, the only person I know had a staff infection
Starting point is 00:12:16 got it from a major league baseball locker room. Like literally, there's 30 guys just sweating all over everything. The only time I ever heard of it was a kid that got it in high school that gashed his leg open playing something and he got it in that wound in the locker room in the gym. Locker room or the wrestling mat is a big time. It's not children's sweat.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Wow. I'm posting this on the date they put after I just took my 1.5 year old son to the doctor because of a staph infection on his face. That could kill that kid. Oh yeah, hopefully it's not MRSA for Christ's sake. That's really hard to stop. Bad shit. David gives one star.
Starting point is 00:12:51 The little boy behind the gun counter. The what? The who behind the what now? Is there a shooting range or are they selling guns? The little boy behind the gun counter. I'll just, I just want to say that one more time, is a useless punk. And I have no use for him.
Starting point is 00:13:13 That's the first sentence. Wow. Is a useless punk. He mumbled and acted like I was there to steal something and steal is S-T-E-E-L, obviously. Sure it is. Yeah, I was ready to make it nice and hard. I was ready to buy a new rifle today. They sell guns at this mall, okay.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Unbelievable. I went to a different place and spent my money there. Do they have multiple gun stores in the mall? The little boy behind the gun counter, that's amazing. It's not a store? What the fuck, I guess there's a gun store there. It's just like a kiosk. It's next to the phone cases, that's what it is. Amazing What the fuck I guess It's next to the phone cases
Starting point is 00:13:50 They have one of those Chinese toy and a fucking gun and then there's like one of those weird massage table things in the middle of them all because that's what seems Like the most comfortable place to get a massage would be In the center lane of the mall that seems like the perfect place where I'd really relaxed My fucking most one of those one of those chairs. It's supposed to rub out deep vein leg thrombosis I can dig in the middle of them all One star from Laurel I had a bad experience at the small because a random lady walked up to me and my friends and told us to get off The mechanical animals because we were quote too old. They got those little animals that you can ride around the store.
Starting point is 00:14:32 No, no, I bet it's the ones you can ride around the mall. Oh, maybe they got little wheels on them and you can see the little like, no, no, it's not. It's not. We'll get to it. But it wasn't like we were trying to, we weren't trying to pay for the area. We were continuously inserting coins in the machines. It's one of those they just ride.
Starting point is 00:14:53 So there's this kid sitting on them. They're adults. They were just stoned and thought it'd be fun to sit on a fucking, sit on a hippo. That's all. What if we ride the horse? That'd be fun, right? Take the plane.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Wow, she continued to walk on for about 30 seconds, then abruptly turned around and said to us to get off the equipment, in all caps. My friends and I were taken aback at the way the lady who did not even appear to work at the mall talked to us when there is no sign that says anything about the rules or regulations of the play area. Then, after she walked up to the mall cops and tried to tell on us, we left. The Paul Boyer said, we don't care. That's so funny. Remember being a teenager when you were, that was a thing, oh they're
Starting point is 00:15:33 telling mall security. Yeah, let's get out of here. That would be like, get your fucking $8 an ass motherfucker an hour ass away from me. I swear to God. I will fucking knock you out, asshole. I would not. I'll sell eight dollars an ass. Can you imagine though being afraid of a mall security guard?
Starting point is 00:15:53 Never. As an adult? No. No, but as a child I was like, oh God, that's the authority figure. That's the guy. Oh no. He tells all of us what to do.
Starting point is 00:16:03 He does. Ugly Billy gives one star. Yeah, the high voltage arcade is a scam What is it scam the high voltage arcade? Calls that's the name of the arcade Letters the claw machines are nearly empty there and no one is working here half of the games don't work We spent all our coins in the claw machine just for it to error Half of the games don't work. We spent all our coins in the claw machine just for it to error Well, you're probably dumb you just spent I don't know probably ten dollars and quarters to try to win a two dollar
Starting point is 00:16:39 Fucking Lilo and stitch stuffed animal all that thing is is a vehicle to get bed bugs into your house Don't touch those Jim gives one star security rude as hell Okay. Yeah security rude as hell because I drive an old vehicle. They thought I wasn't there to spend money That's the whole review. He felt like he got punked out because they were rude in his smoking ass Pulled in in a 76 gremlin and they weren't down with it. That's all Michael gives one star used to be a great place to hang out now feels more like a nursing home How old were you? How old were you when it was a great place? Yeah now I'm 32 and I just want to hang out like man
Starting point is 00:17:23 Let's be like me go to the mall by my house. This place was cool when I was 16 like yeah, I'm sure long time. Monica one star can't give league bowlers discounts on weekends. What, what the sense of a working person, I guess sense, what's the sense of a working person to bowl here on league? No added perks. They have a bowling alley here. So there's a bowling alley, a movie theater, get your nails done. I haven't heard any, a bouncy house. I haven't heard anybody talking about a store where you buy things, like at a mall. Howard, J.C. Penney, and Dillard's doing well here. Apparently not well.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Mike gives one star, a dying animal, is his first sentence. No idea why anybody would not put this thing out of its misery. There is a gun store. You could try it. Jesus Christ. He's treating it like it's a possum that got half run over by a car.
Starting point is 00:18:11 There's nothing here for anyone that wants to shop on a regular basis. I will applaud you for hanging on this long. Unreal. And then finally, Steve gives one star. Never went there. Stupid. The mall's stupid, I okay so yeah now that we need to get the fuck out of Missouri I've had enough I want out of
Starting point is 00:18:34 Jefferson City Missouri I'm all bounced out at this point my toenails are looking fantastic I'm ready to go let's we need to get out of here as fast as possible the only way to do that is on a plane We're gonna leave Missouri airspace as quickly as possible. Terrific. We're gonna do it on a discount airline though, Jimmy. We're on a budget. Which one? We're going with Breeze Airways. Breeze.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Which I think I've seen on a runway. I've never heard of it. I've seen it on a runway like one time as you pass by. You have? Yes, they'll be like American, American, American, American, Breeze, American, American, American. They have like one plane. It's like small It's recycled from somewhere else. It's not good. So old
Starting point is 00:19:12 It's an old spirit That's what it seems like they say it's an American low-cost airline headquartered in Cottonwood Heights, Utah Where made it all the way to where everything is there is wherever you saw it. I don't remember what airport it was. The airline was founded by David Neelman and who previously co-founded Morris Air, WestJet, JetBlue and some other shit. So he did WestJet and JetBlue. It's been an operation since, oh no, they're now out of business. It was founded in 2018, commenced operations in 2021.
Starting point is 00:19:50 So at their peak they had 41 planes. Commenced is beginning, isn't it? Oh yeah, commenced is beginning. So they found it into, I saw founded and I thought that's, yeah, founded. Then they started flying. Okay, you're right. Frequent Flyer program is Breezy Rewards, by the way, which sounds shady.
Starting point is 00:20:07 This, on Google, has 1.7 stars. Oh, jeez! Which is not great. The IRS has a better rating on fucking Google in this place. On Yelp or whatever. So, Patricia starts out five stars. Both flights were on time. The crew onboard both flights were amazing and funny.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Oh, don't be funny, don't even try. That's- Did she do round trip or did she fly with a layover? I don't know. I'm not sure. We will flip with breeze in our future trips. We will flip with breeze? Fly, I guess maybe he's trying to say.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Got flip out somehow. Tracee gives five stars. This has to be the best airline I've ever flown. How many times have you flown? I've never flown before. The other time I flew was on a crop duster. The last time I took a pigeon. He said, they do say I fly often
Starting point is 00:20:59 and this is my third time with Breeze. Really? I am a raving fan. Each flight the pilots come out of the cabin to address the passengers, make jokes. Nope. Nope. Get the fuck back in there and concentrate, asshole.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I need you to take this dead ass serious. Guess who I don't want to be funny? My heart surgeon and my fucking pilot. You guys be dead serious. Leave the jokes to me, okay? We're two jerk-offs. Leave it to us. You shut the fuck up. Whatever you say that's serious, I'll try to make that shit funny. You sit down and fly this motherfucker. How's that? That's how this goes. Not on one, but on all
Starting point is 00:21:36 three did this. Oh, Christ, they have a little- Every time you've got a Laurel and Hardy coming out to do their five minutes, no! No! One's trying to poke the other's eyes out, the other's putting his fucking hands up to block it. And they've done it three times. Three times I've seen these routines. More room, seats are comfortable, flights are affordable to the consumer, flight attendants are super sweet and nice.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I cannot say enough about this company. Their CEO is doing something right with the culture they are creating. Kudos! I will fly this brand whenever possible. Check them out. I bet you will say the same. All right. Well, you know, everybody else is taking flying serious since 9-11.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yeah, take it serious. There's no jokes up here anymore. I don't even want the pilot to come out and talk to us because that happened. I was on a small plane coming home from wherever the fuck, Milwaukee. It was a smaller plane and the pilot came out and talked to us, and I was like, aren't you busy? Get the fuck back in there. I've seen pilots come out of the cockpit in mid-flight
Starting point is 00:22:31 to like the co-pilot or whatever to go to the bathroom. They like keep him so secluded from us to put the fucking drink cart in his way so that nobody can charge up there. That's what I want. I don't want him up there doing a hot five I don't need it. I don't need that the drink keep him separate from us and take it dead-ass serious to where it's intimidating and scary I don't want your bits coming out. No none of that shit. We're going 36,000 feet
Starting point is 00:22:57 So shut the fuck up, and that's the other thing suppose We start plummeting to the earth my first thought is maybe if this asshole worked less on his fucking material and more on keeping track of the goddamn fucking gauges, we wouldn't be in this problem. Maybe if he studied the fucking owners man, he'd make this thing a little harder. Just look over all the gauges. There's a lot of them.
Starting point is 00:23:19 There's buttons and levers. Make sure you know what you're doing. There's a lot of lights. Okay, two stars from Ira. Planes are in decent condition. I don't like that. Right away. They're all right.
Starting point is 00:23:30 It's not a fucking taxi. No. It was a taxi and the wheels are on. I go, okay, fine, I win. But this is a, and we got to our destination safely. Yeah, I hope so. You're supposed to. We went with the, quote, nicer package to get better seats and bags included
Starting point is 00:23:47 Wi-Fi is hit or miss depending on the plane. That's every fucking airline Beverages are available for purchase on board on our recent round trip Wow between Jacksonville, Florida and Madison, Wisconsin The departure was about 90 minutes late and then the return took off about eight hours late. That's not even late. That's a third of a day. That's a different time.
Starting point is 00:24:12 At 2.30 a.m. they took off. Yeah. Oh, the sun went away. It's literally a different day. We didn't even take off the same day. When delays happen at Breeze, there's no alternative, no human communication and no accommodations until a credit appears the following day for a future flight. Overall, not one of the better airline experiences, but if there's no other choice on a selected
Starting point is 00:24:33 route then you'll likely get there eventually with Breeze. That's a real raving fucking endorsement. Breeze, you'll get there eventually. Likely. You'll likely get there eventually. Maybe. If I walked, I'd eventually get there eventually. Likely. You'll likely get there eventually. Maybe. If I walked, I'd eventually get there too. I could get on a fucking old lady's bike and get there eventually, but one with a big basket in the front and fucking streamers hanging off the handlebars. I'll get there. You'll get there eventually. Good work, Breeze. Jess gives two stars. Spent an extra few hundred bucks on their quote nicest seats, can't really
Starting point is 00:25:05 rate them high, they were out of vodka, and my plain drink is vodka cran. Okay. Come on. I gotta have some fucking... Yeah, okay. Just because you're an alcoholic, don't worry. What do we have to worry about that shit? My plain drink.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Do you have a plain drink? A plain drink. No! Yeah, Coke, no ice. That's my plain drink. Who has a plain drink? We fly a lot. Yeah. And I just go, no ice. That's my plane drink. Who has a plane? We fly a lot. Yeah, and I just go no thanks. Yeah coke no ice if I'm if I'm exhausted It's a tyrant soda water. No ice
Starting point is 00:25:34 Cuz I don't know where the oh, it's dirty. I don't know where it came. Where's the point of origin for that fucking ice? That's what I'd like to know. I don't drink like I don I don't like having anything with ice in it when we're out of town because it's just the water's different and you'll get the shits and I don't want the shits. Oh, God, I had a precarious situation back there in the first place. I guess, yeah. You're on the edge to begin with, that's the problem.
Starting point is 00:25:58 I'm not trying to tip this fucking thing. A strong breeze can make you shit your brains out. Have you run in for the bathroom. I'm not trying to rock the boat over a fuckin' Coke. Fuck that. I'll have a soda water, no ice. Coke, no ice. You want the can?
Starting point is 00:26:12 I absolutely do. Bring it. You're damn right I do. Goddamn straight. It's sealed up and I know where it's been. So yeah, other than that I would say, okay, not worth the extra money for the nicest, quote unquote.
Starting point is 00:26:24 They must call it the nicest. Yeah, everybody keeps saying that. Nicest. It's gotta be. What does that mean? Oh man, okay, this person here, this is a long one, but we'll hit her up here. Donica, one star. If I could give negative stars.
Starting point is 00:26:38 God damn it. I would. She got it right at least. Thank you, Donica. She said negative, but we'll take it. We'll take it. We know what she meant. Breeze is probably great to use if you don't have any issues I wouldn't know because the first time I bought tickets three of the four were messed up
Starting point is 00:26:52 Okay, after over three hours of waiting through their AI powered customer service. Oh, Jesus Christ At least on Delta you can talk to a human being eventually You can fix this together. You need someone to yell at first of all. That's the thing. I'm not yelling at a computer. Give me a human being that can absorb my rage. That's what I want. I need someone who I can lead this conversation with. I know this isn't your fault, but. Let me tell you why I would murder everyone in your office if it was possible. Let me tell you why it's a good thing we're on the phone. Oh my God. Hello? You there? Hello? Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Where'd you go, God damn it? Yes, sir. No, they just sit and take it at the airline. They know it. Do they? Fuck yeah. Remember when I lost my bag in America? They lost my fucking bag
Starting point is 00:27:35 and sent it to another city in Boston? That guy, I abused this guy for about 15 minutes. I didn't abuse him. I started out nice and then he was giving me a bunch of bullshit and I was like, listen, dude. I remember saying, listen. This didn't abuse him. I started out nice and then he was giving me a bunch of bullshit and I was like, listen, dude, I remember saying, listen, we're not playing this game. Yeah. What is this shit? Yeah. I don't need your fucking hot five. Fuck off. So they said, no, what is this? Okay. Except I already, oh, they said I needed to talk
Starting point is 00:28:01 to the third party company which booked them. I already had twice and I have the receipts from the third party company that show they booked us with the quote nice fare It's got to be a nice nicer and nicest nice. No nice breeze. Yeah There you go that includes a carry-on bag and allows includes a cat. There's a there's a tier that you can't bring anything Wow and allows only for changes or cancellations. On a third call with the third party booker, we learned that Breeze touts their basic economy fair as nice on these websites and you book and then oh sorry you have to pay a bag fee because you bought a base fare. It's dishonest, shady and probably illegal. I haven't looked it up but I'm going to go ahead and cast. You should know if you bought bottom rung flight package garbage you get to
Starting point is 00:28:50 bring nothing. You get to bring nothing. You have to pay a bunch of shit. If you're gonna if you check a bag it's gonna be very expensive. That's what it is if you're gonna fly with them you better book them directly or otherwise you are screwed. I'm now paying $210 in bag fees, which is more than any of the fares. That's the problem. Wow. For that price, they could have probably flown first class on a real airline. That's the thing. Not even regular. Because I've had that before where there's an upgrade thing, if you're a member of the airlines where you can upgrade to first class and the difference
Starting point is 00:29:22 is less than the bag fee is. So it's like, well, I'm going to do that and then you get free bags. So it's like, okay, well, there you go. So when I check for flights, I'll see the regular fare and I'll just go, for just a check, what's first class then? And a lot of times it's literally $120. Yeah. So I mean, you're like, well, I'm doing that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Because it's 50 for a bag otherwise. If I get that, I get free bags. So there we go. And I get on the plane 70 dollars more. And I get off first. Yeah And it's super worth it. Fuck that if you have to go for work do it I
Starting point is 00:29:52 Requested a full refund from the airline for this highway robbery and was told that since I booked a base fare I can only get a partial refund and it's so close to my departure I'm better off just flying with them to my destination Canceling the return flight and getting that refund. Wow. Next time I will ignore the so-called convenience of flying out of the airport closer to home and drive 90 minutes further to go with Southwest or American. Yeah, go with a real airline. That'll help. It would have been cheaper and less frustrating. Breeze has one of the worst and most useless customer service portals I've ever encountered. And the slightly cheaper airfare isn't nearly enough to make up for that. No. And to make up for being stranded, too. That's the other
Starting point is 00:30:32 fucking problem. JB gives one star. Customer service is awful in the app. They show previous flights instead of upcoming flights on the upcoming flights page. Alerts for flights are not timely. The armrest is cheap and will not stay up. Agents are third party and will not help with anything. All drinks and snacks are charged for. There is no customer service and texts go unanswered by customer service. Awful airline.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Strangest airline I ever flew. Strangest. Yeah. Strangest. What do you what do you? What do you fucking need to know if you're if your planes on time? And and you're going you don't need to know a goddamn thing what else do you need really? Yeah, great Reed gives one star manipulative rude and worst of all dangerous. Oh
Starting point is 00:31:22 Did you crash? worst of all dangerous. Oh? Did you crash? Right. Did you try to do loop-de-loops? That's the thing with a flight, it's really a zero-sum game. I mean we either land or we don't. We either land where and when we wanted to or we don't.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Those are the options. We're going fucking straight. That's it. The pilot was literally joking about turbulence and quote issues that may arise. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. No. I don't want you to joke. I want you dead serious about turbulence.
Starting point is 00:31:46 I'm going to be really concentrating hard on not fucking this up for you guys. I don't need that shit. Up until this year, there's literally never been anybody killed by turbulence. Somebody died this year because of it. Yeah, yeah. We aren't laughing anymore. No more jokes. I don't know what the fuck turbulence is. It doesn't make any sense to me. I just know this whole motherfucker shakes. I don't know shit about air pressure. It just sounds like the wings are gonna fall off and I don't appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:32:12 And my stomach hurts and we're going up and down and I can feel it. No good. Nickel and dime you for everything under the sun. $4 can of water, $6 cookie, $10 crackers and cheese. Just fly Delta or any of the big boys. This is just another spirit slash frontier money grab budget airline. Yeah, I guess so Here is one star from Russell worst experience ever. Oh boy. What they blew out of GSP Friday. What the hell is GSP? Graham
Starting point is 00:32:42 It's got to be up north GSP Friday with four bags, two people. We have four claim tickets. Counter people failed to put tag on one bag that was critical. My wife's with her meds in it. Excellent. Oh boy. Today is Monday and no one from Breeze has contacted us. Text only.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Not even the Breeze employee in Providence, Rhode Island could contact anyone. So they found an employee and even they couldn't find anybody to fucking talk to. Holy shit, this is wild. Emily one star, Breeze Airlines has to be the worst possible airline out there. I normally would not even leave a review, but I feel everyone should know that from the guest services
Starting point is 00:33:19 all the way to the flight itself, it's an awful experience. We were delayed seven times due to a quote battery issue. Huh? You got electric ones? I'd never heard of a battery issue. Well, I mean, I assume there's batteries that, you know, like a car. Yeah, there's something that has to, yeah. But I've never heard of that being a problem. Fucking replace it. What are we doing? They're like, it's got to start up once, right? We got to charge it. It's going to be a while. It's a fucking plane. I've never gotten on a plane that wasn't running already. It's got to start up once, right? We got to charge it. It's going to be a while. It's a fucking plane. I've never gotten on a plane that wasn't running already. It's always running.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Yeah. It's always running. Always running and going. It's going to be going fine. And when we finally arrived at our destination at 3 a.m., there was no crew waiting for us and they quote, had an error in communication and everyone left for the night. So we have to wait another hour for someone to come clock in get us off the plane To put the fucking jetway up. I contacted guest services and they said there's nothing they can do for me
Starting point is 00:34:12 So I will never fly this airline again. I don't fucking blame you I would say it's the airport It's the airport's problem that they aren't they're understaffed for that But it's your fault for getting us here at the time that they're understaffed. It's fucking ridiculous been here earlier I tried to get here earlier you had battery problems. I was at the gate. You weren't at the gate Yeah, I looked were you there? I wasn't there Patricia one star my husband has been sitting in the airport for six hours so far. She's giving updates on this He's texting six hours now
Starting point is 00:34:41 They don't know if they will get out tonight if he cannot If he if not, he can reschedule for Thursday if that happens He will miss his surgery never again this guy's what flying for surgery for fuck's sake Jesus Christ man. This is just as if you're flying for sir I mean, I guess you put all the money that you got into the surgery and then what's left to use for the flight But I figure you get to where you're going right you make sure that that's I wouldn't fly discount hairline No get to a surge shit. No, that's you're taking a lot of risks, man How much risk do you want in your life anything else?
Starting point is 00:35:20 That's a week. So you why don't you just buy some coke from a guy? You don't know and hope there's no fentanyl in it while you're at it What the fuck are we talking about? How many more risks? whole bag at once Brian one star stay away limited destinations expiring points expiring point Oh points your points expire Like miles poor customer service. This is like an airline startup by your old uncle who used to fly in the army should be folded up folded up that's fucking great Peppa gives one star I wish I could live I leave zero stars horrible airlines huge delays we spent nine hours as a delay and no refunds in any way given
Starting point is 00:36:03 except a stupid snack allowance. So you can have some free cheese and crackers. There you go. Don't worry. We'll put some pretzels in your chair. Free handy snack for you. Enjoy. Pilot was horrible and I thought he was going to crash.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Yeah, that's you can take all the rest of it back. Yeah. Get fucking that's the one there. Make it safe. I don't give a fuck. So wow. Okay. Fucking that's the one there make it safe. I don't give a fuck so Wow okay, so now we've flown impossibly the worst
Starting point is 00:36:29 The worst airline in America we barely made it. It's 330 in the morning We almost crashed we like bounced off a lake on the way here and almost fell into it It's a lot of turbulence a lot of turbulence, so let's get a little bit. Let's get close and personal here What do you say with our personal item of the week? Settle it down. Let's do it. We have the, oh boy, I've got to show you a picture, but I'll read what it is first. Chihuahua Shepherd Yorkshire Poodle Husky Dog Fursuit, Full Suit, Teen Furry Suit, Furries
Starting point is 00:37:03 Anime, Digi Grade Costume, Bent angel dragon black blue white and it comes in shitloads of sizes up to 3x It's like a blue dog furry costume a whole furry. It's a whole furry It is on Amazon here. It says free returns, furry mascot money back guarantee, 100% original video and OEM studio USA seller. Okay. Fursuit is unique. Okay. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:37:36 It's unique. They say for mascot, you can leave height and weight request. All this different shit. It says that it is, we are not of luxury quality like LMB or some over $8,000 fursuits. We are just equal quality at the most affordable price. Okay. Okay. How much is it? It says a bunch of things that it's not quality of. We are not the quality luxury quality like Disney and Universal Studios for $6,000 costumes. Wow, okay.
Starting point is 00:38:07 This thing is $1,668.99. It's $1,700 fucking dollars. I almost asked if you want to dress this thing for Halloween. No. No. Certainly not. The answer is no. $1,600?
Starting point is 00:38:23 It cost us three grand to fucking dress up. That'd be crazy. $1600? $1668.99. Oh my god, it's a $1700 outfit. That's for fucking. There's no costume for a party. You only spend that on something where you're like, I'm going to cut a hole in the ass of
Starting point is 00:38:41 this thing and let another dog pound me. Okay. Let's find out what people think. This is disturbing. Um, okay. Five stars. O-M-G Cutie Pie Fur-sona is the title. Okay, this is my Fur-sona, which is a persona in fur, I assume. His name is Billy Bob Jr.
Starting point is 00:39:04 I'm so incredibly happy that I got this fursuit also I need to send a little message to the creator of this fursuit scroll along if you're not the creator of this fursuit you know because that's if you're in case you're not we figure most people are gonna be the creator of the fursuit but if you're not the We figure most people are going to be the creator of the fursuit, but if you're not, you butt stroll. The rest of this doesn't pertain to anybody but the one person that will never ever ever read this.
Starting point is 00:39:32 And then it gets weird. Here we go. Okay. Heh. Here goes dot dot dot. I like like you. I like like you with a bunch of like shh emojis. What? And then says A-O Sawi S-O-W-W-Y that was Billy Bob Jr.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Wow these people are creeping me the fuck out dude. These furries are the weirdest people who've ever lived I'm sorry they're weird they're weirder than the My Little Pony people they're weirder than any fucking people that are out there. This person's persona is a comment. Sorry he took a he took control of the keyboard for a minute there. Apologies. Said I like like you. What the fuck man. If we have furries listening I'm not even sorry you're fucking weird. Thank you for listening and we appreciate it. You're fucking weird. I'm You're I don't get it Don't understand it. Kira gives five stars my new first
Starting point is 00:40:37 That was her whole thing the other one that was done That was Billy Bob Jr. Saw we That was Billy Bob Jr. Sawy. Done. That's enough. What the fuck is the point of that? Don't know why you put that. Okay, this is amazing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:57 My new fave fursona is the title. Yeah, favorite one. I'm a 57-year-old white man that weighs 657 pounds. Oh my god. Ever since I've been on my 600 pound life, my self-esteem has been very low. There's no way this is real, right? But ever since purchasing this, my esteem has boosted all caps. That's got to be 10 exclamation points afterwards. Maybe it is real. I will be ordering again, apparently once you tear this one because you bent over.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Well once it wears off from my pee. Pardon? Back up a second. Yeah. I will be ordering again, well once it wears off from my pee does this man pee in the suit? I think so. What is where's all the fur? Whoa? Yeah, it's too much work taking off So I just let it loose Okay, this is not real. There's no fucking way
Starting point is 00:41:58 This is but then a perfect for fur con and then two little paw print emojis. All my furry friends love touching my tail. People were making fun of me but I just barked at them. Thanks for listening to my rant." I think that motherfucker's serious. It's real. That's a real person that exists out there. It's like you're not weird if you're a furry but you become a furry because you're weird, I feel like.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Yeah. You know what I mean? Because you want to piss your pants. You want to piss a fursuit. I'm not wearing anything that I can't get off to piss. Yeah, there's nothing that's too hard to get out of. Nope, I'm not pissing my pants. Here we go, five stars. So Sugoi, I don't know what the fu, S-U-G-O-I. Beats me.
Starting point is 00:42:45 And it says, as a 47 year old, 318 pound white man, I'm starting to sense a pattern. Is that what this is? I'm starting to sense a pattern. This is fat guys. It's been super hard trying to find fursuits that fit me without it being too tight around my ass. Wait till you find out about the guy before you.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Man, yeah, you could. He could stuff two of you. Yeah, yeah, you could, he could stuff two of you, yeah, two of you in his fursuit, man. I may have no money, no friends, my family kicked me out because I quote, don't shower enough. But who needs them when I have this spectacular fursuit? I don't think these people are kidding. That's the fucked up part. That's, that's unbelievable. These are people who don't want to shower and like pissing in their pants and that's I'd kick out Yeah, we're no you're lip. Is it because they want to live like an animal animal but animals they piss outside of themselves Yeah, they don't piss on yeah, they make a dick hole and fucking pull it out make a dick flat But look what man put some Velcro on there I don't know. five stars from Quincy furry review is
Starting point is 00:43:48 his title I am a 600 pound weight dude it's dude it's fat guys. I fit perfectly in this so if you are 600 pounds are over this is a perfect fit for you. is this I didn't know. I didn't know either. Five stars from Laura. The five star ones are the best here because that's better than one star. Five stars so sexy. S-E-G-G-S-Y. I guess that's sexy.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Why do they do this? I don't know. I hope this isn't cringy or hateful to any of you spectacular, beautiful persons out there. As a 69-year-old man, it's been hard to fit in. I finally feel like myself. I love this costume so much. It brings me so much pleasure.
Starting point is 00:44:34 It brings pleasure to other people too. My son and daughter ran away the second I showed it to them. Yeah, dads lost their fucking mind. They immediately thought about trying to put you in a home is what they did They can't believe their dad is doing this. Oh man. They said I look too hot and they wanted to pass out No, they didn't. Yeah, I think maybe hot as terms of you're sweaty in there. Probably. I think they're scared to death. Yeah My own wife died What the fuck? Oh due to and, and then D-B-M-H-I-S-F-S-A-M-M-S.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Died because my husband is so frigging sexy and makes me scream. That's an acronym now that we're using. Dibimisififossimums. Sexy. Sexy. Anyway, this suit brings me so much pleasure pleasure, please get this suit. I'll do anything BBG Is that sexual? I don't know. I know it's a lot of money, but it's worth it mama. My wife said so these fucking people
Starting point is 00:45:40 Is our Wow You thought the leather people were creepy. Oh, fuck. Is our, wow. You thought the leather people were creepy, right? Oh, they're cons, They're normal as fuck. The leather people would be gathered up going, look at these fucking weirdos, Jesus Christ. Adjusting their gimp masks going, this fucking guy over here, what a nut.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Their pudding collar. Spanking a fucking grown man with a riding fucking crop going, these fucking weirdos doing over there. Strange people. They're just weird, right? Next up, five stars and the title is Yes with Five S's King. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:15 This is so bus with four exclamation points. Yep, bussin' James. Oh I know, but he shortened it even more. We're going with just bus. Oh man, the Gs and the Ws, I literally wore this on the bus and I got so many compliments. Yes, I love this fursona.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Thanks, gang. Okay, four stars. Husband didn't approve of my fursona is the title. No? He's had enough of you. Didn't the title no that's about enough of this shit yeah look you've done a lot of weird shit over the years now you're talking about fursonas look I'm done okay owners and then talking with a child's vernacular fuck out of here you creepy
Starting point is 00:47:00 person I don't want to have sex with somebody dressed up like an animal go whoopsie-weezy-weezy get the fuck away from me like an adult don't want to have sex with somebody dressed up like an animal going whoopsy whoopsy whoopsy get the fuck away from me. I want to fuck like an adult. Yeah I want to fuck an adult that's what I like. Adult fucking. Yeah. Adults know how to fuck and I like that. I want you to say filthy shit like an adult not like a child. That's weird. That's the end of shit. Yeah whenever like chicks do like baby talk shit. Yeah. What the fuck. I don't want to. Call you daddy. You think my dick is hard because you're doing that? No. Jesus. I'm stressed out and I feel like I've got to take you to a friend's house or make you
Starting point is 00:47:29 a fucking breakfast or something. That's all you're doing to me right now. I like a short skirt but I don't want it fucking plaid. Stop it. I don't want children's stuff. Hubby got mad that I ordered this. Probably because it's $1,600 fucking dollars I imagine. He said it was a-
Starting point is 00:47:44 Because that was our mortgage. Yeah. He said it was a- Because that was our mortgage. Yeah, he said it was a quote, waste of money. Yeah, he sounds like a reasonable guy, I think. Yeah. Yeah. But if you think about it- I would have fucked you without it, yeah. But if you think about it, she starts off,
Starting point is 00:47:57 it's an investment for what's to come if you know what I mean. Anyways, it's an okay suit, but way too big on my skinny body. All right. An investment for what? For me to be buying plane tickets to go to fucking festivals?
Starting point is 00:48:12 If you know what I mean with a winky face. So I think that means that she gets horny and wants to fuck in a fursuit, which I don't wanna fuck you with a fucking cartoon character head. I just can't do it. Weird. Dog. Um, Carrie gives one star. Her title is, or his title is, fake.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Oh. Fake fursuit? This is fake and a ripoff. Do not buy. The picture used is a suit made by the very popular maker, more for, more for less. More for fur less one word the picture used is clearly Photoshop And then one star from Skyler scam suit kids don't buy Nothing kids are buying $1,700 first suits. No check the reviews man. It's 600 pound dudes Yeah, 600 pound dudes 40s and north and chicks where it makes them horny for some reason to dress like a fucking animal If you're just a kid or someone who clearly doesn't know this is a scam ad do not buy this isn't real If anything you are going to be sent a crappy quote suit of someone stolen
Starting point is 00:49:17 Fursona that will look horrible someone stole you hack they call him a hack Stole it and that will be horrible. Be smart guys. Be smart when you're buying your furry suit. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Oh my God. Caleb one star.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Tail looks photo edited. Well, I hate when that happens. Can't have that. Take a look at the tail. It's a dead giveaway that it's clearly photoshopped and looks closely at the white tip of the tail if you don't believe. I don't either. And then Clark finally one star.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Don't buy it is his title. This is a stolen photo and the real furry it maker is made for less. Instead of buying this, you stole the commission. You stole it. Okay. So, it's a knockoff furry suit. Yeah. So there's, there's like, you, you gotta have a unique one, huh? It's got otherwise you're a hack. It's a stolen persona at that point. All right. I don't know what's happening, but they get, so I mean, but if they're mass producing these, they're fucking making more than one.
Starting point is 00:50:26 So when you show up at the convention, someone else bought the goddamn thing, I would think. And then do you fuck each other immediately? You can't just sell one and fucking retire. Custom fursuits. What do we talk? What would that cost? Oh, God, even more. This is $1,700.
Starting point is 00:50:42 It's a piece of shit, apparently. So somebody else's. I don't fucking know I'm grossed out with those people. I'm frustrated from the airline that didn't work out I'm not happy about that walking the mall gave me nothing. I got my pedicure starting to wear off I don't know what to do with myself. Let's just you know what let's just do what we do on the road Since it feels like we're on the road with this thing and let's just ask the people in the green room to get us some pizza. Just get us a pizza. It's real easy. We're going to the Luca Pizza Cafe, L-U-C-K. It is in Newburgh, New York, so over by me but across the river down there. L-U-C-K-A? L-U-C-K-A, Luca. Yeah. Yeah. 3.6 stars, so not great.
Starting point is 00:51:26 And this is, like I said, 520 South Street in Newburgh. I think it's in a shitty area, too. So there you go. You're going to risk your life and get bad pizza. Enjoy. I thought this was the pizza in Minneapolis. No, no, no. Oh, that was something.
Starting point is 00:51:38 It was close. It was like Lucha or something. Lucha. And that was fucking terrible. It's so bad. I don't know Minneapolis guys This was like considered a good place to like when we asked for pizza. They were like, oh, we know where to go They looked at each they like winked at each other like We're getting the good one
Starting point is 00:51:57 Lucha knows it was like exactly what I was thinking and they're the nicest people too in many other people at the State Theater We're so nice to us. They bring this pizza and we're, we're like, what a piece of shit. It was terrible. Fucking terrible. And then I tried again in Milwaukee the next day. We got great food from the Broughton house at the Pabst and theater. And then I tried at my hotel room to get pizza and it was abhorrent again, Midwest. You have got to figure that shit out. I don't know what's going on. He texted me and said, the Midwest hates pizza. They hate, yeah, that was my text.
Starting point is 00:52:31 They hate pizza. Texted you that at like one in the morning. They take it out on the pizza. They did, they're like, you fucking assholes. I hate this shit. Fucking pizza. Guys angrily throwing it up in the air. Piece of fucking shit pizza, I hate pizza. They throw it down
Starting point is 00:52:48 A bunch of people who can't eat gluten are making it. They're just angry at it So let's find out about this pizza place. Yeah, Phyllis gives five stars. The pizza is delicious We also ordered fried calamari that that done that done perfectly Yikes, it's done perfectly also had the cavatelli now Now I'm gonna say something a second. It was really good and the sauce is good, too Normally if you go to a place and they have cavatelli, that's a great sign because cavatelli is a very Italian thing like my grandmother made them homemade and like Not every restaurant as you can't go to the Olive Garden and Cavatell's.
Starting point is 00:53:26 You know what I'm saying? So if you got Cavatelli, normally as me, I'd go, okay, this place is no something. So yeah. But yes, Fiat back there too. Yeah, what else you got? Jesus Christ. So here's another one.
Starting point is 00:53:39 TA gives five stars. The pizza here actually tastes good. Actually. Sound like they weren't expecting it to. It's New York, man. Yeah, you gotta have decent pizza around here or else you're going out of fucking business. I've been going here since 2009.
Starting point is 00:53:53 I've tried basically every pizza place in Newburgh and Lucas is the best. I don't understand the low ratings when there are hazards like the pizza shop that exist. Apparently a bad one down the street. At Luca's, the marinara is so robust. Robust? What is it, a Domino's commercial?
Starting point is 00:54:15 Robust sauce, fresh toppings, it sounds like a commercial. You can taste the robust. Yeah, and the crust is fresh, crisp and airy on the inside. It's fresh pizza and tastes authentic. Try their gourmet pizzas. Their margarita pizza is the best I've had. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:35 So that's that one. Amber, four stars. What are my favorite pizza spots to go to? I used to live closer but moved away from their zone and my husband and I still go back there to get their square pizza. And I don't know if that's a Sicilian or the grandma's. In New York we got the Sicilian and then there's a grandma pie which is thinner than the Sicilian because it's like homemade pizza, like my grandmother made homemade pizza, it's square
Starting point is 00:54:57 in a pan and it's like a thinner thing and it's oily and they don't put cheese on it. It's thinner but it's still that like, it's a certain kind of crust. Yeah, it's thicker than regular pizza but thinner than a Sicilian is what it is. It's a grandma, because your grandma makes it there. So we had the wings and paninis before. Paninis. Paninis at the pizza place.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Both were okay overall but not the best, but they liked the pizza. All right, five stars, friendly, So, but they like the pizza. All right. Five stars. Friendly, personal, always ready to help you. They fucking love it too. And then there's some people who don't love it so much. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:55:33 DJ gives two stars. The food has always been superb. Okay. Unfortunately, this occasion I asked for no mayonnaise. What did I get? Mayonnaise everywhere. I'm on your side, DJ. mayonnaise everywhere? I'm on your side DJ I'm on your side you take that sandwich and throw it at them go back in there or do like
Starting point is 00:55:54 Do like my dad with the calzone that time you were there for when he just told that story, right? About quote returning the calzone to the pizza place Which is to slam it into the front window and mush it down the front of it and then leave it there and go. It's returned. There you go. I brought it back for you. No refund necessary. Thanks. That's my father though. He got back in the car to go do that. That's so... I'm calm you know I mean compared to my dad I'm calm he does I jump but he needs that though it's like my grandmother was the same way she she needed the fucking once in a while you gotta uncork it it's what it's saying it would have built up she would exploded can't have it I just
Starting point is 00:56:41 happened to be on a strict diet and mayo is out of the question. For a $13 to $14 sandwich, you would like it to have it as ordered. Please get the orders right. Calamari was excellent. I reiterate, for these prices, the orders have to be spot on. Yeah, $14 sandwich, get the fucking mayonnaise off of it if I don't want mayonnaise on it. Two stars, I always order from Lucas for years I have. Is that a haiku?
Starting point is 00:57:06 What the hell is happening? Amanda that says, I've always gotten the grilled chicken avocado panini and salad. For years I have. Why? It's a pizza place. It's my go to. It's my go to to be the combination is amazing. To be, oh to be cause, to to be see, I get it, okay.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I always tip the driver big when food is being delivered and even though my brother-in-law told me to stop eating from here, I didn't because I love the sandwich. Why didn't your brother stop eating there? Stop eating there, why? What'd they do to him? I want to know the back story. Get your brother-in-law to review this. Yeah, where's his review?
Starting point is 00:57:45 Nobody else makes it like they do, but over the past several weeks I've been told three different prices for delivery fees. At first it was over $10. Okay, no problem. Then it had to be, oh, the order has to be over $10. Right. Well, yeah, obviously. Yeah, then it had to be over $15.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Now today it's 20. You want to charge a delivery fee and ask for a tip from the driver? Absolutely not. Ask for a tip for the driver. I order from here at least twice a week because I work long hours and get home too late to cook. I even have my coworkers place large orders during the day to be delivered and the driver walks away with at least 10 or more in tip money.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Probably on hundreds of dollars worth of shit. This person thinks like they're a fucking hero because they gave somebody fucking 8% one time. Jesus Christ. And I think I'll just move on. I am beyond disappointed. Beyond disappointed. This is horrifying. This is the best way to put it. Gabby one star. I've been going here for years! Exclamation point. And a lot of people have told me nasty things about their food and not once did I believe them. What do you think? They're making it up? Who's telling you this?
Starting point is 00:58:58 Why would you like a friend of yours make it up? You know what I mean? I'm biting into my pizza and I find a band-aid in my pizza. Jimmy. No. Look at the picture. It's a fucking. Oh, it's in the crust.
Starting point is 00:59:11 It's in the crust. It's in the crust. It's in the crust. Oh my God. It's coming from inside the crust. How did they do that? While the guy was pushing it out, it fell off his finger and he said, eh, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:59:24 That's what happened. And she bit it, e said, eh, fuck it. That's what happened. She bit it. There's a bite in the bed. How? I don't even... It's in the bite. Would I just kill you? Would you just kill yourself?
Starting point is 00:59:35 I mean, would that be... Would you go outside and blow your brains out, I think, after that? That is so awful. I just bit a strange man's bandaid. She pulled it. It has bite marks in it. It's stretched. It's strange It's the the elastic on one side is off. She ripped off. She bit through it
Starting point is 00:59:53 I would throw up and then hunt this man like an animal is what I would do. Oh, there's nothing worse than that How do you get clean after that? How do you get? No, you can't throw up Fucking floss rinse you keep it's not enough of it that exists in this world And then could you ever eat pizza again? No, that was on a wound every bite. I would be going through the thing I couldn't do it. It'd be like when I had maggots in the twix and I couldn't eat candy for four years I get I get nauseous if I walk past chocolate. It's the same thing candy for four years. I get nauseous if I walk past chocolate. It's the same thing. Thank you for ruining pizza forever. Appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:00:31 I don't know if I want to ever eat pizza myself. That is fucked. And then it says, if someone needs to inspect them. For band-aids? Yeah, probably. Yeah, there's band-aids in it. That's a basic inspection. That's not a hair. A hair happens. Yeah. A hair could fall off.
Starting point is 01:00:48 A hair could be in the wind and land. A fucking band-aid is no... Where's my band-aid? Oh, shit. A fly in the pizza, I could see it landing on it. They throw it in the oven, not see it. It gets cooked in, whatever. Or it comes out, lands in the grease,
Starting point is 01:01:00 gets stuck in the hot cheese. I don't know. Whatever. I don't know. I'll deal with it. I can see reasons. I'll deal with that no there's no explanation this was on a bloody wound of a stranger I will not have this shit with the band-aid on his hands made this dough with no gloves on and then finished
Starting point is 01:01:19 making the dough looked around said where my band-aid go oh well and then Gotta be somewhere Whoa there's a response from the owner on this oh what they say hey, Gabby Holy shit, we just ran a sword through our midsection that would be the only acceptable answer We've closed down from shame and committed fucking... We're all in the part that a lot of swords in hand. When we press enter, we will all fall forward. Everyone's going in. Sayonara.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Your experience is definitely not what we're aiming for. Well, I would fucking hope not. That's what you lead with? How dare you? Here's hoping we can make it up to you next time. Definitely not what we're aiming for well. I would hope not Here's hoping we can make it up to you next time Are you fucking band-aid in my that's like walking into a place getting shot and going well next time you come back We hope you have a better experience. I've been shot in there. I'd rather get shot than bite somebody's band-aid If I said Jimmy 38 just a flesh wound or bite a stranger's band-aid, what are you doing? fucking shoot me Fleshy part of the thigh is to fucking Bobby Bacala would say on the suppressor
Starting point is 01:02:43 Get the fuck out of here here man. Oh my god. Wow. I can't. I'm horrified. I would never recover. I can't believe they're not, I can't believe that's their fucking response. And yeah that was it, that was the whole response. Hope you can do better next time. Maybe we'll. Here's hoping we can make it up to you. Don't bother really. Christina one star ordered an Italian combo with something taken off. I asked for no no prosciutto Well, then why do you want an Italian combo? First of all? Yeah, no lettuce. No tomatoes or dressing. I Didn't ask no salami no pepperoni in which I wanted said She just wanted a pepperoni and salami sandwich with nothing else on the store. Yeah, just get that
Starting point is 01:03:22 wanted a pepperoni and salami sandwich with nothing else on it. Go to the store. Yeah, just get that. Which is on the menu, both one I have and the one they just handed me. They said they don't use any of that anymore, telling me I have an old menu. Not happy. They should have said that what they have have and have have and don't whoever you're giving your order to will never order from them again not worth what I paid for not getting what I ordered lunch meat is bad sticking slimy mess smells that's all one sentence
Starting point is 01:03:57 there's no punctuation yeah that sounded like an Amazon review for salami yeah that also sounds like they were like just like so angry which is what the fucking band-aid review should have been oh my god I'm the hold on a sec Heading to the hospital now oh My god Nicole one star I order a slice of pizza and a salad I order the same salad every day. And this girl Mia, who answered the phone, is rude and took down the order wrong, then put the wrong ticket on the bag. I got the wrong food after waiting one hour and 30 minutes and
Starting point is 01:04:35 now two hours later I get the food and it's wrong again. Oh no. No extra chicken and crusting. Crusting? I don't know what crusting is. I cannot eat those. The delivery guy was so nice and respectful. Now two hours later I just got my food thanks to the manager. Never order when Mia is there or answers the phone. Let's get this. All right, we'll get that tonight.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Hey, I'm going to place the order on. Click. It's Mia. We got to pick something else. You want to just cook or what? Fuck no. Yeah, I think we should just cook probably. Yeah why don't you pull the chicken cutlet out of the freezer we're having that tonight. That's what we're having fuck it. She is completely irresponsible. Irresponsible.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Okay Tanya one star. Disappointed two exclamation points here. I ordered a grilled chicken salad. My husband picked up the salad after 25 minutes after ordering it. My first a grilled chicken salad my husband picked up the salad after 25 minutes after on after ordering it my first bite Grilled chicken was chewy and raw on the inside. Well, that's disgusting I immediately called Lucas back at least they're not selling you though A lot of these places order like the pre-cooked shit chicken. So at least they actually are cooking chicken So that says something about it. The person who answered began arguing with me and and stated this is great the chicken tastes raw because the salad was made when ordered and we took too long to pick it up so the chicken lost some of its cookedness apparently sometimes it goes
Starting point is 01:06:00 backwards if you leave it out long enough, it'll be a chicken. Yeah. If you came tomorrow morning, there would have just been eggs sitting there. You know what I'm saying? Who would have said there's about a half a dozen eggs? Yeah. Your sandwich laid this overnight. It's incubating.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Oh my god. I told them I was bringing the salad back and I wanted my money back. When my husband returned, the husband, it's just, she's at home. And it's him going, pick the salad. I'm back with the salad back and I wanted my money back when my husband returned the husband It's just she's at home and it's him going pick the cell. I'm back with the salad now Yeah, not even a salad the employee tried to give him another grilled chicken salad. My husband said no, thanks He became angry and said don't come back here no more then You don't want my chicken fuck you You don't want my chicken? Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:06:42 You're gonna come in here and tell everybody I got raw chicken. That's it, no problem. I'll take my money elsewhere where the chicken is fully cooked. Right. I'll take it. That's amazing.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Elani, one star, I placed an order for delivery and the staff really sent my order without the pizza. What? She got like some salads, mozzarella sticks, pizza, and they were like, just bring the other shit. Crushed red peppers and Parmesan. Bunch of shit loads of it.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Nope, it's a bunch of napkins. How do you forget to send someone's pizza when you work at a pizzeria? They were helpful, they were not helpful at all in sending me my pizza that they forgot to give the delivery driver, and I ended up not having dinner. Thanks for nothing.
Starting point is 01:07:25 That sounds petty as shit, but dude that is it. Oh it's irritating. In the moment it hurts so bad. It's so fucking irritating. I went to oregano's with a bunch of friends, everybody got their food. I was paying. I took a bunch of people to eat. Mine didn't show up. I'm sitting there for, everybody finishes and I'm like, my food hasn't showed up? She's like, oh, I'm so sorry and she forgot to put it in so then she comes back and goes it'll take about 30 minutes I was like, don't even bother she never mind. She sent the manager the manager goes I can give you I can give you a free
Starting point is 01:07:55 Dessert I was like, dude, I haven't I haven't even eaten. Yeah free dessert. Well, I'll take it off your bill then You're not gonna charge me for something I didn't get? Appreciate that. I just took a bunch of people to dinner. If you could... And you wanted to feed me a pizookie? I'll tear you. If you could, also don't put those people's... that table over there on my bill either, because I didn't get that. That's also not me, so thanks a lot. I'm not... Don't worry, we won't charge you. Thanks a you. I didn't eat it. What the fuck are you talking about? I never got it.
Starting point is 01:08:27 I can see him like putting his hand on your shoulder like yeah don't worry buddy I got you covered. Cheat that. Here's a pizookie and I took your fucking dinner off the bill. I charged you for the pizookie though. Sorry. Pizookies don't grow on trees here. Why don't we sugar bomb you instead?
Starting point is 01:08:44 How about I punch you in the fucking mouth? Maybe that'll make you think harder. You dumb fuck. You dumb asshole. All right. We'll do one more with Victoria and then we'll, we'll leave off here. Victoria, one star. This place has lost our business. Oh boy. We ordered a plain Sicilian, nobody uses any punctuation on this, no. And for this review. People in Newburgh don't know how to fucking read, obviously.
Starting point is 01:09:10 If you've ever been there, that wouldn't surprise you. We ordered a plain Sicilian pizza and two desserts. My husband went to pick it up and when he got home, we seen that they gave us a cold regular pizza. Okay, a Sicilian pizza weighs about four times of a regular pizza weight. If you fucking, if you picked it up, I delivered pizza and you can feel it's to the edge of the box. Like you can feel how much bigger and heavier it is. And they're so dense, they hold heat longer. Oh my god. So much hotter. So much hotter. And so I mean, delivered fucking pizzas. You can tell
Starting point is 01:09:43 in a second with a regular pizza That's just cheese is light as fuck There's no feels like there's nothing in there So this these people are really dumb a cold regular pizza my husband called them immediately in the person who works there basically called us a liar Saying we never we never ordered a Sicilian pizza Fucking Mia and then tried to say we ordered a regularilian pizza. God damn it. Fucking Mia. And then tried to say we ordered a regular pizza with sausage and peppers.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Obviously there was no toppings on the pizza. He did not want to accommodate his mistake and was very unprofessional and snarky on the phone. You ordered sausage and peppers. Well this isn't that either. Yeah we didn't get that either. Well it's mostly right. It's plain anyway.
Starting point is 01:10:26 We almost got it. We got your regular pie anyway. It's not a Sicilian. We're closer than you said we are. You wanted a plain Sicilian, you got a plain regular, right? So in the end. Not bad. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:10:39 And then the last line is lost our business. So started out with this place, lost our business, and ends with this place, lost our business. And we hope that this place, lost our business, and ends with this place, lost our business. And we hope that we didn't lose your business though. Yeah. Ah, have a pizookie. Have a pizookie, and you don't have to pay for your fucking, for your dinner here.
Starting point is 01:10:56 For the dinner you didn't eat. Nobody here has to pay for dinner that we just provided because we didn't give you anything. So hope you like that. Don't pay. Feel, every time you bite pizza, feel around your mouth for a band-aid. Enjoy And that's that so thank you so much. We'll be back next week with many more crazy goddamn reviews We have a bunch of wild shit set up for you next week. So we can't wait for that
Starting point is 01:11:18 Be careful out there everybody follow us on social media Listen to small- Murder, listen to Crime and Sports while you're at it and keep hanging out with us each and every week and we'll see you next week everybody. Yeah, we'll see you then. Bye! Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

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