Your Stupid Opinions - Bikini Baristas, Trash Of The Trailers, Ugly Lady Liquor Store

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Crazy one star reviews, complaints & grievances!! A coffee shop that specializes in bikini clad baristas, with certain men deciding they shouldn't have to wear pants, either. An RV park that is best described as "the place where your stolen car will be found". A very personal item that will make you attempt to fill an elephant's trunk with your anatomy. A liquor store that may have you kicked out for little reason & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody, welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there, my name is James Petragallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you so much, we are excited today to hear complaints, honestly, that's what we're here for. We're here to talk about people's complaints, grievances from all over the internet and

any place or thing or person or item you can imagine. And we're gonna cover it all. And this week we have some really fun stuff for you. There is a coffee place in Mesa. I cannot wait to talk about it. Sounds amazing. Yeah, it's gonna be really good. Definitely follow on social media.

Listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder as well, which are exactly what they sound like, except comedy. So check it out, get in there, and let's do this everybody, let's dive right in. We have to dive back into where we left off last week, which was the Bayway World of Liquor in Elizabeth, New Jersey,

which seemed like a shitty ghetto liquor store, is basically what we're in here. Now we left off with people not happy with the service here. Remember they're arguing, somebody was told, somebody asked a question. Yeah, somebody told the customers wrong. Somebody asked a question and they said, no, can't have that and took the liquor back and told them to get out. Just for asking a question.

For avoiding the sale. We don't need your money. It was wild. So let's find out what Juan here has to say. One star from Juan one very bad customer service very very bad oh Not one star one star a million to one a very bad Customer service very very bad. I was there. I was there by alcohol

It gets better yeah, and I was Satan's in the wrong. I was Satan's in the wrong line by mistake. I think standing is what he's going for, but it's Satan's with an apostrophe and everything. So he was in Satan's line apparently. Satan overcharges. You don't want to stand in his line. Yeah, right. By mistake, and the manager sent me to move to other line and talked me with very, very bad attitude. He talked me. I just want some Bud Light, man.

Very, very bad attitude. He's used the word very a lot, by the way. He has. I just tell him, but you don't have to talk to me like that for, you don't have to talk to me like that for just say moved next line and that fine. Charlie Kelly wrote this. This is absolutely Charlie Kelly wrote this.

Is that what, maybe Charlie speaks Spanish. Maybe he does. Maybe English isn't Charlie's first language and we've all been unnecessarily cruel to him because he speaks multiple languages, so I don't. And forcing him to say, Dennis Batman. Dennis Batman. Oh my God, for just say move next line and that fine. And high answer to me, I talk to you whatever I want and I just moved. I didn't pay attention to him.

I usually go there three and more time of the week to buy alcohol. Wands and alcohol. I just going to say stock it up by. I never go back. Many liquor stores are in Elizabeth. There it is. There it is. Don't have to go back because there's stores are in Elizabeth. There it is. There it is. Don't have to go back because there's plenty of liquor stores.

There you go. Welcome to Jersey. Wow, that was something else. If you're the owner, you go, I don't know if I did anything wrong there. I don't know. I can't tell if he's in the wrong or if I'm in the wrong. I can't even tell what happened, so I don't know.

Let's see if Mark has a better grasp on the English language here with One Star. First, I've been here a couple times and had minor problems. But today was out of control. By the way, I have to put in my own punctuation here because there is none whatsoever here. Mark. Juan was better than you, Mark. No Juan didn't use punctuation. Not a drop of it, not a period,

not even at the end of that paragraph, nothing. Just an apostrophe for Satan. That's the funny part, that's the only punctuation in the entire goddamn thing. Literally, the only thing is one apostrophe. Mark has a better grasp on the language, just not the rules of grammar here Let's see first the staff was incredibly rude when I asked a simple question about a bottle of wine

I was a bottle of wine. That's gonna be a period there. I was going on but I was mistreated by the staff Next when checking out the employ when checking out the employee at the register don't do that. Why? Why are you checking out the employee at the register. Don't do that Mark. Why are you checking out employees? Because of the Oakland tits. I was like you might. Satan's got a great ass. Can you turn around and get me that bottle? No the one down.

The one down. Bottom shelf if you could grab that one. All the way down. I'd like to look at that bottle. Just bring me the bottom shelf everything and then I'll tell you no. That's why it was very all caps unprofessional and demanding Just didn't want me to look at her tits. Apparently stop looking at my tits like that Wipe that drool off your chin

The only thing keeping me there is the fact they have a large variety of wine and beer for a reasonable price Otherwise, I would never step inside there again. I bet you could find another liquor store. I'll bet Bevmo's around the corner. That happened when I moved to New York. There's a liquor store down the street. I went there, and the guy was crazy. I heard him talking some crazy shit

with some other guy at the counter. And I never went back there. I found another liquor store, and it was fine. Yeah. All bets are off at liquor stores. Those places are law store and it was fine. Yeah, that's our off at liquor stores Oh, you never know lawless. You never know it could be raised. It's the weird part It's always either a person who just got to this country yesterday. It's always like like an Indian family or Like a militia member who's like standing there in a tactical jacket and all this shit

It's like why how come just somebody in the middle can't just sell me a bottle of wine? Someone who speaks English. With a wild tattoo right on his throat. Yeah, someone who speaks English but doesn't use it to just hurl racial epithets. That would be great, I would love that. That would be terrific.

Anyway, key one star. If I can give zero stars, I would. Alright, close enough. Me and my friend came to buy a case of Patrone. A case. A case? God damn. There's a party going on there.

No shit. My friend went in first because I had a child in car. Child in car and then I went to get in in to get mine a case isn't enough Wow two cases Wow and was told I cannot Because he got one Meaning the person you were with yeah, yeah, so you can't buy one now. I Car I told the owner we were two separate people and I have nothing to do with him even though you're in the same car Yeah, my child's in his car right now, yeah had nothing to do with him and he proceeded to go outside my car and

What is this ECT? It's an etc. I advise him if it is such a big issues I'll go somewhere else. Okay. Good news I ended up going to another place and got my case for $200 cheaper. How much is a case of Patron? A shitload apparently. What's a bottle go for? I don't drink tequila. You're a tequila guy. They're usually $30-40 right? No idea. I have no idea. I never bought a bottle. What's a bottle go for I don't drink tequila. You're a tequila guy 30 40 dollars, right? No idea. I have no idea case of I know what a bottle of great comes in six Again, I don't know

Four six eight No clue. I assume six. I don't know so it looks like eight $239 for a case. so she got it for thirty nine dollars They were overcharging her over here big time. Oh, it's a case of twelve for 262. Yeah, how did you get it for sixty two? Now what are you talking about? Or they were charging five hundred bucks for some reason maybe yeah, and maybe they were bigger I don't know who knows yeah, they could have been magnums or something I don't know Roberto one star if you want to feel like a crook and be watch as you shop go there That's every liquor store, too

Roberto one star they treat you like a crook watching every move you make Apparently crook is the popular term here a lot of people steal from liquor stores, too. That's a very common thing Oh, it's liquor. Yeah people who have alcohol problems and little money tend to fucking try to make that shit work steal Yeah, yeah Alexander one star. I didn't like it. I Felt as if I would I wear in a garbage bag. I Felt as if I was who are in a garbage bag apparently it's a garbage bag in there he describing a shirt did he come to the wrong place I don't know what the hell is going on but Justin has a hard opinion here okay the ugly

looking lady with the dreads Jamie is rude she's ugly in her name's Jamie to take that very specific it's a lady with the dreads. As I say, if you can't see her name tag, it's the one with the dreads. Doesn't matter. The dreads are covered, yeah. Holy shit, avoid her line, please. Ugly looking lady, oh boy. Efron, one star, sorry, I don't go to Bayway Liquor

because I don't drink alcohol. What the fuck are you doing? Imagine getting on the internet. Yeah. And reviewing a bunch of shit that you don't do. Just to be like, I don't do that. I don't drink. I'm gonna get on the Jack Daniels website.

Go to like one of those Brazilian wax places. I don't go here because I don't have vagina. Like just write that. Like why, one star. I don't go here because I love my people Yeah, one star what a dumb fucking thing Milton one star used to be inexpensive not anymore Well, that's just the world man. Okay. Well, that's from six years ago. Oh Okay

There's a response from the owner. This is the only response from the fucking owner. I've seen here. Okay, and it's long Okay, this is the owner. I disagree All right Kindly tell us of which item you were dissatisfied with the pricing. Hopefully we can make you happy There are factors such as the recent euro dollar price inflation Other states have different costs and sometimes we sell our goods so fast that if there is a cost increase, other stores have the lower cost for a bit longer.

We do not strive to have the best pricing. We are the number one discounter and have been for over 40 years. Okay, so he works really hard on his prices. Sometimes he gouges before everybody else gouges. over 40 years. Okay so he works really hard on his prices sometimes he says we do not before everybody else couch that's he says we do not strive to have the best pricing. Sometimes we have bad prices but we're still priced. We're still we have prices though there are prices. Nothing's free sir. Nope. Anibal one star very short and sweet. It's the last one here. I can't believe they didn't have Aguagar Aguardiente

1493 silver Well, I've never heard of that very specific. I can't believe they didn't have that okay Didn't have the one thing that I really need to find. It's really hard to find. It's an incredibly specific item that no one's ever heard of. You're a drinker, you ever heard of that? I've never heard of it. There you go. I don't even know what it is. Aguardino?

Arguardiente? I've worked in bars, I've never heard anyone order that before. So I don't know man, you're on your own lady. Alright let's move on past the liquor store here and we're thirsty for something else here. What are we drinking? Well we drank too much last night, we drank all that Patron. Let's move on past the liquor store here and we're thirsty for something else here. We've Well, we drank too much last night. We drank all that Patron. So now we need some coffee We need some coffee to wake up here. Oh great. So we are going to Mesa, Arizona

28 16 South Country Club Drive in Mesa out to the Bikini Beans coffee I had no idea this exists. No, I don't drink coffee, so I don't know. Oh, right, okay, yeah. And I haven't lived in Phoenix for four years either, so. This is wild. Okay. This is just a bunch of dirtbags going to get coffee.

It is, it's the Ogle Women at eight o'clock in the morning, which is the creepiest time to do it. Hold on, before you say women, very, barely women. Barely, it's creepiest. Like young girls? Very, yeah. Well, I figured that, they're not women, barely. It's creepy as fuck. Like young girls? Very, yeah. Yeah, well I figured that. They're not gonna, you know. Yeah, they're not trottin' out a 40 year old single mother.

It's not like that radio show we did that time when they did that. No. That was weird. The MILF concert. That was strange. They had us, we're like, why are we here? What is happening right now?

It's the weirdest thing I've ever done. That was just weird, dude. Yeah, we couldn't even get into it in the, up to Darnell Rawlings being mad at us. Yeah. We pissed off Ashie Larry, because we were like, what's happening? Why are we here?

Ashie Larry loved it. He was happy as fuck about that shit. Yeah, Ashie Larry's like, get into it, boys. You gotta have some suspense. I'm like, I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm uncomfortable. Yeah, there's some chick I never met before. It's 7.30 in the morning in a radio station.

She's sticking her ass in our faces, it's creepy. And that woman brought a cucumber and is fucking it on the radio. Yeah, I'm not doing this. I'm not okay with this. So Bikini Beans Coffee here. They have a little our story here so you get a background. There's a couple of stories to tell before we get into the

reviews. Okay Regina and Benjamin Lyles founded Bikini Beans Coffee in Phoenix in 2014. So it was around for years, I was there, never heard of it. The couple moved to Arizona from the World Center for Coffee Roasting, Seattle, Washington, bringing with them ample expertise and a kindled passion for all things coffee. With high entrepreneurial spirits amidst a sweltering state, they knew an ordinary coffee shop just wasn't enough. So instead, they embarked on a wholly unique concept, something that would distinguish

their Arizona coffee shops from the leading coffee franchises in one of the hottest states in the country. And that's when the idea became to them, Bikini Baristas. Let's go make hot coffee and hot Phoenix and we'll just get hot girls in bikini. Hot girls in bikini. I just, I don't want to, if it's 7 30 in the morning, and I am tired and I have to go to work, I'm not interested in your tits right now. Put them away, get me my coffee. Let's all have a professional exchange. I'll get back to you later when I'm awake. Yeah, it's fascinating How many vans with business logos? Oh, I bet printed down the side are in line

Jesus Christ air conditioning service a plumber fucking it's amazing. That is fucking crazy. So here's a story from January 27th 2025 so just two fucking days ago or whatever from this of whatever We're recording this vigil held for goon lord Quote unquote who died by suicide after exposing himself at Bikini Cafe drive-thru died by suicide after exposing himself at Bikini Cafe Drive Thru. What? Let's unpack it. That's the headline. He committed suicide?

After this, yeah. After Arizona man Naughtica Malone. His name is Naughtica Malone. I'm going to name, my name is half 90s fucking hip-hop clothing brand and then part Post Malone this is perfect is this his real name notica Malone who the fuck knows I don't know is that he's listed as Monica Malone which is hilarious I am fucking oh my god that is amazing I am Hillfiger Bieber. That's what I'm going by though. Different. That's my name.

That's gonna be, I'm gonna change all of my social media profiles to that from now on. Hillfiger Bieber. Went viral for a video where he drove up to Bikini Beans Coffee Drive-Thru and later took his own life. A group of individuals took it upon themselves to host a vigil in honor of their quote-unquote, goon lord. Goon lord. Goon lord, one word.

What the fuck is happening? They're going to explain. Earlier this month, the video showed Nautica Malone at the drive-thru for the Tempe, Arizona Bikini Beans coffee location, a coffee shop where workers wear bikinis. In the clip, an employee noticed that Malone did not have any pants on and alerted her manager. You know, that's something that alerts somebody too. I can't believe they didn't think this was going to happen every day. I'm surprised. I can't believe it doesn't happen every day.

I thought this was what you were going for. Seems like it. You're scantily clad. So am I. Oh my God. On January 11th, Malone was found dead at age 28 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head in his car his family reportedly Confronted the staff at the coffee shop and said he took his own life over this incident you confronted them. What are you talking about? How dare you? How dare you tell Yeah. How dare you tell me amazing.

If he cares to be at no pants. Yeah. What's the difference at that point? No one's around. It's fine. They did this. That's when you take his pants off. Yeah. It's your fault. You called him out for jerking off in the coffee shop. So he's upset about it. Hope you can sleep at night. It gets weirder. What? On Sunday, January 26th, Hope you can sleep at night. It gets weirder. What? On Sunday, January 26th, the number of people gathered outside the Bikini Beans coffee location in Tempe to pay tribute to Malone.

Quote, Nautica Malone was a kind-hearted individual and a beloved fellow gooner whose memory will be celebrated and never forgotten, read the poster advertising the event which referred to Malone as a goon lord. What's a gooner? We're getting that. This of course refers to the act of constant nonstop self-gratification of the sexual variety. He's constantly jerking his dick and that's- He can't stop it.

And that's- there's now a club for that and they brag about it. And they're acting like you're the jerk for fucking telling them to put it away oh it's not the words goon gooning and gooners took over the internet last year regardless of how the attendees of the vigil felt about this act they all considered the late Malone a gooner video show that's an insult this guy can't keep his dick in his pants he's always whacking it around that's the creepy guy but you guys shaming him made him commit suicide how dare you what that's your fault that's the thing video shared on social media showed a sizable turnout at the event which some

dubbed a gunneral in honor of some Jesus this is I can't with this I Can't with the gunerl This is ridiculous you people are dead put your dicks away. This is ridiculous shut up It's a big straight to the goon community right now Goon riddance How's that Take that my friend This is horrible

Someone dubbed a good girl in honor of someone who took their life to goon aside. Oh my god. I Can't I can't just for this I can't I can't just for this Nobody feel bad for this man. No nobody feel bad for this man at all. I'm so if anyone go that's say I don't fuck him He's jerking off in public. Yeah, you're not supposed to do this is no one's fault about 30 minutes into the vigil As shown by the live stream shared by youtuber somebody, police came to disperse the crowd. Yeah, because they're whacking it. I would disperse that crowd too. Is that what they were doing?

I don't know. I assume. I wonder how they were saluting him. No shit. Yeah, standing at attention. Despite all the jokes surrounding the incident, Bikini Beans coffee founder Ben Lyles called Malone's death tragic, but really, but reiterated that he committed a crime

when he exposed himself to employees at the cafe. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. She said, this guy goes on to say, our thoughts and prayers are with the family of the individual involved during this difficult time. This was an unfortunate and tragic situation. As a company, the safety of our employees

is always our top priority. In this case, an individual chose to commit a crime at safety of our employees is always our top priority in this case an individual chose to commit a crime at one of our locations Wow in an obituary posted by his family online Malone was described as a devoted husband and loving father That's a good example to set Son you don't need to be those pants see you take them down Show them show the nice lady what you're working with See you take them down show them show the nice lady what you're working with

Maybe if he spent more time with his children and not in the coffee bean driving off Jesus Christ he survived by his wife and two children That's sad now. I that's sad for the kids. I feel terrible for the fucking kids the lady knew she's fucking married to a whacker Yeah Yeah, she's aware. The kids don't know anything. To them, their dad is their hero, and now they got to find out not only did he kill himself, but he's a fucking pervert on top of it. 100% shocking. That really fucking sucks, man. They called him a man of integrity, kindness, generosity, and he left a lasting impact on everyone who knew him.

Yeah, no kidding. We'll never forget. I will never forget. Often spending his weekends watching the Phoenix Suns play basketball, brushing up on his HVAC everyone who knew him. Yeah, no kidding. We'll never forget. I will never forget. Often spending his weekends watching the Phoenix Suns play basketball, brushing up on his HVAC knowledge and studying different patterns in cryptocurrency. Of course he does. Of course he's an HVAC guy who's going to make it big in crypto.

Of course he is. Of course he is. There's a crypto bro who tugs it at his son's games. With his dick out. If you said, they call it gooning and these goons, I would have said, so they're all really into crypto, right? That's, yeah. Makes sense. So, anyway, that is fucking wild stuff.

So they found, by the way, they found a suicide note on his phone saying, I apologize, I love you queen. I made a mistake and I don't think I'll be able to face you and the babies. I don't know why I drove through like that. I'm not a monster. Well, I don't think you're a monster. I think you're a sick problem, a sickness,

and you need a doctor, that's all. That's, I think you need, you have problems. Well, you also need jail is what you needed because I'm not having people whippin whipping their dicks out and whacking it And then a therapist after and then a therapist after that also now your kid now your kids are gonna Google you yeah I'm like that's fucking terrible. I didn't know he had kids at first now I feel like a dickhead, but still what a fucking what is he doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We can we're we are not okay. I'm just gonna say that

We're not okay over here this everything is fucking wow okay Courtney gonna goon-o you right in the man he's poor kids and goon array you I don't want to be in gooner aided Courtney five stars caught bikini beans coffee is truly unique and unforgettable experience that goes beyond just serving a great cup of coffee. From the moment you drive up you're greeted by a vibrant and energetic atmosphere that's hard to find anywhere else. Yeah, because most people have clothes on. Yeah, Starbucks has fucking aprons for Christ's sake over their clothes. That's annoying. No shit, can't see tits at all there.

Can't see anything. The baristas, always friendly and welcoming, make you feel like part of the family while serving up top notch coffee, lattes and iced beverages. The quality of the coffee is exceptional, rich, smooth and consistently delicious. What sets Bikini Beans apart is not just their fantastic drinks but their entire vibe. The drive through is convenient and quick, yet you never feel rushed and the service is always on point. The concept itself is fun and bold, offering a playful twist to your typical coffee run while maintaining a professional level of quality and care.

While you're grabbing a morning pick-me-up or an afternoon treat, Bikini Beans Coffee turns a simple coffee run into a delightful experience. Wow, okay. Jasmine. Is that the girl that wrote this? Courtney, yeah, with a K. Jasmine, five stars. First time going and the girls were nice.

Went through the drive-thru, the coffee was great. I got the nude with an extra espresso shot. Oh my god, they do that? Of course. They rang the bell for it being my first time visiting Fun coffee shop theme we'll try the food next time see attached picture of the menu as of 828 How the hell by the way? Are you allowed to make food?

With with your with tips with about an inch of fabric between your pussy and the food how does that work like above your? How is that a thing? I don't want. I love that. I love that this person hit it right on the head though with this is a coffee shop. It's a it's a bikini bar with a coffee shop. That's all that it's a concept. That's what it is. It's a strip club where it's a Utah strip club. Salt Lake City Strip Club. Jacob Five Stars. Gorgeous charming girls who provide amazing customer service. Unreal. It didn't take long to get my drink but I'd have gladly sat there for an hour.

They're like way friendly. I don't touch grass as often as I should. And I didn't struggle talking to them at all. What the fuck are you talking? And then an- This is an internet bro. Then an eagle, an American flag, and the emoji with a party hat, with the party favor coming out of its mouth

and confetti around it. So I don't know what the fuck that means at all. I'd love to know. God bless America, it's a party over here. I guess so. Johnny, two stars. First time going. Would have been cool,

except the girl's boyfriend's hanging around. Ah! What? Yeah, he's there to make sure you don't pull your dick out. Yeah, after the goon incident, you don't pull your dick out. Yeah, after the goon incident, they probably were like, I'm hanging over there, man. I'm going to punch somebody if their dick comes out. Blew the whole experience.

Lame. What'd you think? You were going to pick the coffee chicks up? No, you weren't. This guy's cramping my style. I'm trying to get a latte and a blow job. Jesus, man. It's like the bathroom's always locked.

Jimmy, Jimmy One Star, how disgusting. I wouldn't say that. Why don't you, the company in parentheses, just put stripper poles in a bar with the nasty unprofessional skimpy clothes the employees wear? This is a disgraceful and very ugly way to bring in business.

It's very funny because... Why would you go there? Mesa is full of Mormons. Oh it's all Mormon. Well it used to be. It's the second largest Mormon temple in the world. No no I understand I'm saying it used to be all Mormons. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Now there's still a lot of Mormons but now there's a lot of everybody there because what I mean used to be just like this guy This is something but it's a disgusting the pictures of a woman and Jimmy is jimi. Oh So I think this is a woman. Why would you go here if you don't want to see I don't get what are you doing? Don't go there. You know the thing is with this bar though. I mean coffee joint. It's not just women inside There's one out taking orders with like a clipboard or with like Sonic. Yeah, right like hot Sonic Sexy Sonic come on down

Amira one star you are you all are wrong for how you handled the situation with that man This is the gooner we're talking about how you handled the situation with that man. This is the gooner we're talking about. How dare you? What were you supposed to say? The lube is over here? What the fuck do you... You can't jerk off in the store.

You can't. You can't, man. In any place. It wouldn't matter if this was... In-N-Out Burger has a girl that takes orders when the line's really long. What if he's jerking to her? That's what I mean. Anywhere you're at.

They're acting like because these women are in bikinis they deserve it. What proof do you have that he was engaging in inappropriate behavior in public? Oh, I don't know. A woman saw it. They saw it and he's in a fucking club of constantly jerking yourself. What are you talking about? Yeah, he's a member. He's a goon lord. A member, member. That's a good way to describe him. Yeah

Well, the good Lord our members, he's the goon lord. Yes. He was seen partially dressed But isn't that similar to what many of your employees wear? There go to a strip club take your pants off and see what the fuck happens It goes her pants are off when the bouncers can get finished beating the shit Out of you and throwing you through the fucking glass door to the sidewalk You can figure out what the fuck went wrong. Are you joking? Yeah them taking their their tits out is not Wow Invitation this isn't a nude beach. It's not a go back and forth That's her uniform your uniform is clothes pants

That's her uniform your uniform is clothes pants Cover up your junk Wow, just because he's a man and he may have only been and he may have only been wearing boxers doesn't justify the Accusations you've made against him. It absolutely fucking does absolutely 100% does No, when you say I jerk off constantly and then your pants are off around women with a fucking bikinis One and one is two guys. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, that's threatening to Wow It's yeah, if I don't if I'm those girls if I'm those fucking chicks, I'm not happy with that at all

I'm like, can we get a bouncer in here? Honestly? Yeah at that point. I want a coffee bouncer Let's ask the owners if this is what they expected the patrons to do Well, I guess there's there's one section you're allowed to jerk it in but it's in the back. You got a really Okay, Jade one star. I'm all for supporting women But the service I get from this place sucks the girls that work here are not friendly at all They have their tits out. They're pretty friendly. The idea is not, the experience is you're ogling women. Yeah, it's not the best coffee or the best service.

I'm sure the coffee sucks. You ever eaten at Hooters? It's fucking terrible. They didn't care. And they side eye you and hate you when you tip low. The idea is you're ogling me, giving me money. Katie one star. Here we go.

One of the employees was wearing a flesh-colored G-string bikini this morning while I was driving my kids to school. I like it. Good move. There was almost three car accidents while sitting in a left-hand turn lane. Yeah, that's getting attention.

That young lady's getting a lane. Yeah, that's getting attention. That young lady's getting a raise. Put it that way. Kind of inappropriate, although the other thing too, I will say this, it's a fucking hundred degrees out and they're wearing a bikini. Who gives a shit? You know what I mean? Kind of inappropriate and my kids have a lot of questions that are and that aren't quite old enough for these

types of conversations Well, that's your job as a parent. Sorry. Wait, wait, do you see a fucking a homeless man smoking a crack pipe and jerking a guy off at the same time You're gonna have a lot to explain then too. It's that's the world. Sorry. It's a clever idea cute, but this went too far When you're done being sued for your improper compensation practices, mandatory house parties, and other weird stuff, invest in an expert to teach you how to set standards for an actual bikini uniform that is public appropriate

for a Wednesday morning at 7 a.m. with kids around. That's what's so ridiculous is the time. This is a late night place would be one thing, but 7 a.m. I have no interest in tits. If I'm in my car and trapped. It's one of the busiest roads. Yeah, I don't care about that. I'm just tired. I'll feel the tits later.

That's so funny. This sucks. Oh my God. And kid friendliness, they say. Absolutely not. Not when employees are wearing G-strings on the street corner. If it's nude colored, it looks like she's wearing nothing.

No! And she's waxed. Which is funny, because one day, we were driving with Sarah and we're driving up the road near my house, and there was a lady who was out in the front yard, and she had stretch pants that were flesh colored. And both of us, like our heads snapped. We had, she was like, oh my God, I thought that was Sarah.

I said, oh my God, I thought that lady had no pants on, Jesus Christ. And she was like, and she was like kind of lumpy and it like went with the lumps in her too. So we really thought it was just a lady with her big ass out. We were like, oh my God, you're in the front yard on a busy road, what are you doing?

Manuel, one star. I come here all the time. I bet you do Manny One star though. I've gotten my free one three times now and would And would have continued to go but this chick literally took a while took a whole like, I think he means whole, he says while, took a whole 45 minutes of my life. She spent the whole time talking to what I believe was a former employee, and I was dying inside, dehydrated, and had just gotten off of work, dying inside, so we went here.

I need a bikini coffee, that's the only thing that'll quench my thirst. Worst experience ever. Ever? You watched a chick make a fucking drink for 45 minutes wearing her underwear. Is that really the worst experience you've ever had? The experience is not worth the misery. Will never come back.

Melinda, one star. Quickly though, I realize he's not a doctor, but if you are dehydrated Don't drink coffee. No caffeine. Yeah Think you're dying inside from the conversation wait till your body needs liquid and you put coffee. I need a hot caffeinated item That's what I need. Why don't you just drink beer, you know like Just as bad Melinda their coffee is not good at all. I was disappointed because I was curious about this place I am just not interested in bikini clad ladies either. Well, that is the fucking draw. So don't come here That's like saying I went to this football game I'm just not interested in men throwing around a ball and tackling each other, but I didn't like the game

Well, yeah, you shouldn't have gotten any fucking moron a cafe Hooters I suppose for those interested the ladies were nice to us though I was too polite to have her remake the coffee apparently the coffee sucked Jacob one star nothing but airheads ha ha The girl working didn't even know what was on the menu. She's just trying to sell I guess it's the thought that matters would never come back lol. Let me ask you a question was she in her underwear Were were there nipples? Yeah, I could just see her nipple. I mean you're you're missing the point of the whole operation, dude Yeah, the idea is there's eye candy fuck Dino one star. I will never come back there again No punctuation at all in this. There we star. I will never come back there again.

No punctuation at all in this. There we go. I will never come back there again. I went to the drive through during Super Bowl game to order my coffee latte. The girl with the black hair and tattoos, she was rude. She did not even let me finish my order and she looks angry and hurry me about my order like she doesn't want to be there. I was like if you don't want to be here,

then you are in the wrong place to work. But the girl with the red hair and green bikini, she was nice and respectful. She was my type. Jesus Christ. She was nice to me. They don't want to be there. They want to be hot chicks at a Super Bowl party just as much

as you want to go watch the game. Or at a bar making shitloads of money being a shot girl or some shit like that right now. This is not what you're doing. No money selling coffee on Super Bowl Sunday. That's a mess Chris one star strip club That's the first sentence, Utah except they start that way strip club people take it off This is just yeah, they they they show up like this don't take your kids here. No shit up like this. Don't take your kids here. No shit. Did you think this was a great family friendly environment? We thought it was, we thought it was a SpongeBob thing. Yeah, we

had no idea. We thought this was the bikini bottom coffee. Oh man, we really fucked this all up. Don't take your kids here. Not a family place. I can't imagine why the city would let a creeper open this type of business in an area where families dine out You they don't have to dine here. Shut up. Also. It's a family owns it The problem is husband and wife. It's not yeah, go to starbuck Yeah Not to tell you don't go here. It's not about great coffee. It is a gentleman's club Okay, all right

Yeah, you know come on ladies Maggie one star ordered Friday night and the only girl wearing casual clothes that night was extremely rude Cup wasn't filled all the way and wasn't done in the way. I wanted Okay, Dave one star short and sweet here, quote, you people are so disgusting. That's a Mormon. You people are so disgusting. That's it. Whole review.

All right. JR 1 Star. Have been a frequent customer of Bikini Beans, especially the Tempe and Phoenix location. Wow, there's more than one. Wow. Yeah, there's one down there on, I think it's 7th Street, maybe 7th Avenue. I know where it's at. Oh shit.

And was thrilled when this location opened, but unfortunately what makes the other two locations great is lacking here. This will probably pass, but until then Tempe and Phoenix are the best locations and then the owner says thank you for your feedback can you be more specific as to as to what's lacking in our mesa location problem it's bigger tits they'd like is it the very religious girls working this telling you about Jesus and the Latter-day Saints. Now that would be a way to do it,

rather than knocking on the door. Wait till I come in, you have your tits out, and then tell me about it. I'll probably listen, at least for a minute. I might sip on a latte and give it a chance. Sounds logical, sure, why not? Your own planet, huh? That sounds good.

Yeah, sounds pretty good, I guess, why not? You get to drink Pepsi though, huh? I'm kidding. I don't know. Whatever. Graciella. You guys own it? One star. Coffee was okay. I think I haven't found my flavor I like.

I guess my kid likes the flavors they offer. I wish I would be stronger. And there's a picture of, she's got like a son next to her sipping on the coffee. He's like, yeah,'s a great greatest flavor coffee ever He doesn't give a fuck what it tastes like Drinks again, what do you like about it? Stuff it's good. It's wet One star if I could give less than one star I would

Don't like you yeah, you're already you're out with us now you've blown it you're an annoyance They are always out of ingredients Yeah, but they're in bikini so that's fine Stacey one star Disgusting they would let the place, allow a place like this exist. Not to exist, exist. What do you want?

There is no place for this in 2019. There isn't. Guys don't wanna see fucking bikini clad women. Drive down Scottsdale Road. It's all strip clubs. There are strip clubs lining that street. All strip clubs. All of them. These girls keep their clothes on anyway. It's exploitative of young women who are still trying to figure themselves out. Well, they're adults so shut the fuck up. If you said they're

not allowed to do something because they haven't figured themselves out, you wouldn't be allowed to say that. So, 18 is 8 fucking team do whatever you want Nobody could say you're young you're old you're this you're that shut up Hoping people figuring themselves out and doing a lot of things they shouldn't be yeah exactly Yeah, I did a lot of dumb shit when I was 18 to I had nobody was fucking posting about it 21 I was allowed to drop by booze, and I was still I assured you a moron Yeah The last line hoping to see this place shut down oh Jesus Christ Nate one star it's

bikini beans coffee why you all have a dude working there it's probably the owner or the owner or check and see if he has pants it might be one of the boyfriends. One of the boyfriends or the owner or check and see if he has pants. It might be one of the gooners or the goonies or whatever they are. It might be the pants bouncer. You never know. You know why they need that now. Then finally one star. I was greeted by a, all caps, guy. Not why I'm here.

You're the wrong type dude. Not why I'm here. They want a tip for the quote-unquote hard work without service. Never come back again. Unbelievable. It's greeted by a guy. Gross. Yeah. All right now that we've been there. No tip when a tip greeted me. Now that everybody's all horned up and everything. Oh boy. Let's settle in for the personal item of the week, everybody. Here we go. Let's see what we got here.

This is ridiculous. It's maybe the dumbest thing I've ever seen. It is. I'm going to show you a picture. Okay. Well, if the Gooner had been wearing that. Then we would have known what he was up to. That's why they used this, honestly, because this is for the Gooner.

If he'd have been wearing that, then maybe you wouldn't be arrested. These are for men G string in the back and an elephant in the front that has ears and googly eyes and your dick goes in the trunk. And I see a leopard print which is silly on an elephant, because that's another animal. There's a black one, a red one. They're all $7.59. It is men's lingerie, G-string, teabag thongs, underwear, elephant pants, briefs, bottom. Imagine not being able to fill that trunk.

That has got to be the most humiliating thing. Little curled up piece of fabric on at the end of it there. What would you do? Would you put like three pennies at the end of it or something to fill it out just so it looks like you're hanging with some weighty meat? Drop a couple of quarters in there. Just to give it the weight so it looks like it's really dangling hard, you know? Oh, I would cry. I'm not putting that on.

This is a hundred percent brand a new brand and high quality special design for men you know with a penis in there. One size fits most again you might have some you know gargantuan fucking novelty penis or you might have tiny dick, we don't know. The guy with the shrivel trunk at the end. It does say stretch material, so. Oh, that's a nice. Maybe you can squeeze in this bad boy. Like I said, $7.59 on Amazon, so cheap.

It's got a four star rating out of 508 reviews. People are buying this. No shit. If 508 people reviewed it, that means thousands and thousands of bought it so many people It's like 2% of people that do reviews so wow holy shit here. We go holly one star or five stars. I'm sorry Hilarious she loves it hilarious. She wants Quote has googly eyes which are hilarious Thank you

It's it she wants to see her boyfriend look like a moron and Feel like a dipshit and have a shrivel up from embarrassment. She loves humiliating that man. That is amazing Oh my god put tissue paper in the trunk for the present opening to show you what it's got Tissue paper in the trunk for the present opening to show you what it's got Was a gift for the brides lingerie party to bride for groom in a separate bag Lol everyone was cracking up. She doesn't just like humiliating her own She did this your man and public too That's the best in front of all the girls

Has Google the eyes which are hilarious Jacob five stars great gag gift yeah, I bet you This is this is the this is maybe the craziest fucking review we've ever had Bought this to send to an old military buddy. 10 out of 10. What? A 60 year old man. Oh man, figure, remember when we were in that foxhole outside of Donang? Well, you know what, I figured maybe.

I saw this and thought of you, buddy. I thought of you, buddy. I know you like to put your dick in funny things and I just said, man, I bet Travis would like this. Enjoy this, you googly-eyed motherfucker. What the fuck? Imagine an old man with a gray flat top opening this up and goes, oh, it's from Robert, good.

He sends me nice things. Maybe it's a, what the hell is going on here? He still calls him by his last, oh, Daniel sent me something. Let's have a look, see what this is. What the fuck Corporal Daniels you fucking weird. Oh Jesus Christ The next fishing trip is gonna be super weird with these two

So I got that what do you send you well Daniels just came out to me? I think I Think we're gonna support him, honey Eric five stars way too tight. Oh Yeah, he's a dick bragger one of these yeah, love the concept, but way too tight on my extremely large manhood Did he know he did? Turn your chair chief there it is extremely large manhood You guys Really need to make the quote trunk three times as big

three times 17 inches fucking long six inches wide I want to put a foot in there Although if he's that big though wouldn't it be hilarious to cut the sleeve of the trunk off and just have it have a giant tip? Hang it out. I think it would be funny just if the whole g-string wasn't even on him, it was just sitting on the end of his dick. Just the whole apparatus just halfway down his dick. That would be great. Hilarious. OK.

Fernando three stars. Not the best quality. No. No. He said unfortunately I found the product to be quite cheap in quality. I don't think it's supposed to be used as a right. It's just funny.

Those googly eyes are just glued on. I think they probably pop off. The pictures provided were highly misleading. So it's important to read the product description carefully to ensure the correct style. Once I used the thong I discovered that it became incredibly tangled and difficult to untangle which was quite frustrating. Tangled in what? In what? The things from the back? The G-Strength? That doesn't make any sense. Did it twist? I don't know.

Despite these drawbacks, it did fit perfectly for someone with an 8-inch size. He's like, that's your dick. Fuck, and the other guy wants it three times as big. That guy needs a 24. He's got a two-foot long... that is extremely large. He wasn't lying. He's got a two foot long, that is extremely large, he wasn't lying. And it does add an exciting touch to spice things up. How? How would your, if you came out unannounced in that thing, the woman you're with should laugh hysterically at you.

And if there's sex after that, yeah, if there's any sexual contact after that, that's a miracle, that's amazing. That's not something you bring in during sex. That's something you're like, you take a shower and you come in and you're like, hmm, where's my shirt? And then they're like, what the fuck are you wearing? You laugh and that's it, that's how bad that is. You stand there with your hands on your hips going, where the hell did I put my shirt?

My dignity. I put my dignity, oh oh that's right I found it it's right here in the garbage there we go I flushed it down the toilet well oh Jesus could be understand if you want to leave yeah I understand I get it Kadir three stars so so oh that's three stars so good not practical Lol all you see is print all you see is you see all you see is print is not very respectful Lol I Don't know what the fuck you're talking about Kadir three stars one size fits most Great product. It's just the waistband is too small so one guy's bragging about a huge dick this guy's saying I'm too fat for this Fuckin thing my dick fits fine. I can't get it on still enjoyed it and had a great time until the strap broke oh

Jess two stars was a joke gift Okay, so I purchased this as a this is a joke gift, but if I were to have actually wanted someone to wear it It's not good No, the quality is poor. The elephants trunk is tiny. Haha like barely fits my thumb It served its purpose for me, but otherwise I'd have returned it. Oh, no, you wouldn't that Yeah, that ma'am is your dick trunk. I'm sorry you keep that How you got an eight inch thumb cuz that guy's eight inch cock fit in it and it says it's stretchy material You gotta yeah, you're gonna feed it in slowly. Maybe I don't know

Like you're making sausage He man and she raw give one star. Poor quality. Bought as a joke. Photo is misleading as they show you have three for the price of one. No it's just showing you which ones they have. That's why they're, they have the three different colors as separate things to click on. Options. Yeah they're just showing you but you actually only get one but you don't know which of the

three you get. Yeah you do because you order it that says the red the blue whatever Aligning the back string is extremely aligning of the back string is extremely off poor quality poor measurement. Well, yeah, this isn't Meant to be like a quality item. I don't think it's seven dollars. You think you're getting three of those for seven It's a seven dollar dick sleeve with googly eyes. It's obviously not Supposed to be like and there's got to be a profit margin. They can't yeah three of them for seven dollars Yeah, they make those for twelve cents in China, and then you buy and put it on your dick. That's how it works Throw it away sissy one-star cheap cheap and not worth one penny oh not worth a penny oh wow not bad okay so

we've gone around a little bit here wasted our money so much today come man tried to ogle a fucking bikini girl and all this so let's we need to calm down and settle in I feel like cuz it's been a it's been a long day out there. Yeah, gotta relax. So we are headed home, I think, Jimmy. We're gonna move on into the, how the fuck do you say this in Washington? It drives me nuts. Pialup, Pialup?

Oh, P-I-U-P. P-I-U-P, P-U-Y-A-L-L-U-P. We've had a problem with this since we started small town murder. People tell me and I go, oh, is that right? And then I fucking never wanna remember it. Nope. I think it's Paiute.

Paiute, it's the, whatever the fuck it is, River RV Park. Okay, this is 26, or 2916 River Road East in Tacoma, Washington. And they do say Dogs Allowed right here. That's nice. 2.9 stars out of 71 reviews Wow, that's not great. That is bad And the picture of it does not

It looks bad, man What is it? It's an RV park, but it's not like in a rural area. It's an RV park That's like into like a oh, it's like I'm is no good It's like a parking lot with like a strip mall in front of it and shit. It's an RV park that's like into like a Oh Tacoma's no good man It's like a parking lot with like a strip mall in front of it and shit It's bad Look at the picture Tacoma's not a great place No it just looks like shit

Yeah it looks like a storage lot It does with those flags and shit It's weird Alright let's jive right in here and find out Maybe we're judging too harshly You never know Look Look at you with your highfalutin foundation and everything Yeah look at me with that fucking basement Judging too harshly you never know

Yeah, look at me with that fucking basement Rebecca five stars not a bad place nice management not noisy like you'd expect Good people here. Okay. Okay. Good people. Wait till we hear about these good people a little later Jacqueline five stars nice place to be great people. It is not, this is. Second time great people. No one drives by a shitty RV park and goes, man, look at all the great people in there. That there's great people.

Our greatest people live in there, I bet. Great people museum. Really what it is. It's like to great people museum. It's really what it is. It's like to keep them all in one place, you know, so that way we can like a fish bowl. You can all come and look at them and be inspired. The lots are like exhibit numbers. Mike and Nikki give three stars. I live here currently and get vandalized all the time.

Oh no. Vandalizing your RV. No laundry. People are jealous of the great people here. Vandalizing your RV. No laundromat. People jealous of the great people. That's what it is. No laundromat. I guess on site. Not allowed to have any sheds

or not allowed to use any play equipment in my backyard which is huge, way too expensive, can't even have a fire pit. So you just sit in your RV is what you're allowed to do here. It takes the whole joy out of living the RV lifestyle. Yeah, because you're just sitting in there. You're not doing the outside of it.

That seems to be what people, that seems to be the attraction. Yeah. Sitting outside the RV and like doing shit and I don't know, pretending to camp and then going in a comfortable vehicle, I feel like. But it's all I can afford right now. Not really afford is all, it's all I can afford right now not really afford is all it's all I can find right now that sucks I guess so Kenny gives three stars hood life gotta love it good life good life gotta love it Lisa gives three stars I wouldn't vacation there dot dot dot. No, that's it

Why would you vacation there? People go to you have RV you take it to like, you know Beaches or the woods. Yeah, you don't go to going to park around urban Tacoma to sit in a fucking parking lot Why would you vacation there? That's not a vacation No, although I have gone to Flagstaff in it and parked it in my friend's driveway Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that's fun Edward three stars this place is okay because a friend of mine lives there. Oh, that's why that's all he moves And this place sucks

As long as Johnny's there everything's fine This place sucks as long as Johnny's there everything's fine Jackie two stars I pay five hundred fifty dollars a month currently Wow yeah for us a slab of earth Wow Someone can go get an apartment for what you charge lost your mind Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's too expensive for just a slab of concrete. Unless she's saying she pays 550 elsewhere and they want more than that. I don't, I pay 550.

Anything more than, over 550 is crazy to park? Well, we have somebody that's saying that, yeah, it's a lot more expensive than 550. Here is Brooke. I filled out an application to live here years ago. Okay. Hearing from you now. I never ended up moving in or signing a lease or finishing the screening process. I never even owned an RV. Yet we found out they've been charging us rent for a place we've never been and now we owe them almost $4,000 of debt.

What? She doesn't even have an RV. Never even moved in. They looked into it. It feels like they were like thinking about getting an RV and maybe staying, seeing what the prices of that were and shit. They clicked too far in the process. I guess they went too far.

They put their social security number in. Don't do that. Holy shit. We will be taking legal action for this obvious fraud Yeah, okay. So the response from the owner here. You got to respond to that Hi Brooke Hi owner. We don't have any records of your name connected to any outstanding collections We've also responded to your email inquiry on this as well today. We look forward to helping you resolve this situation and don't want you to feel that our community is engaging in anything nefarious.

Please call us anytime if we can help you further investigate this. Why do I owe you $4,000? What's going on? Brandon one star, I paid and filled out an application and never heard back from this RV park. Is there an application fee maybe, probably $50 or something? Maybe they didn't like you and weren't gonna tell you. Yeah, maybe they just, they didn't even have vacancies,

they were just like free 50 bucks, fuck it. Or maybe you gave them the wrong email address and they tried to contact you, you don't know. You never know. They just took my money and left me hanging Obviously piss poor management. Yes piss poor response from the owner Hi, Brandon I'm so sorry to hear this. Please. Let us make this right for you

You should receive a call tomorrow to go over your application Now this is how you have to go to them is. You gotta review them for them to call you back. Fucking Yelp is the only way to figure this out. John, one star. John is like, has a big white beard and his picture is like he's like fishing on a lake here. Very sketchy.

Various neighbors exhibited behavior associated with drug use. Yeah, like living in an RV park. I think that's behavior associated with drug use right there. Incredibly overpriced and several homeless camps within blocks. Did not feel safe and would not leave my RV unattended if parked there. Do not recommend, and here it is, the price, $1,000 per month plus electricity and no amenities. Oh my God. $1,000 a month and you pay your own utilities. That's an apartment. Unless it's Manhattan or San Francisco or LA.

You can absolutely find an apartment the size of an RV. Yes, you could find a studio, a one bedroom apartment 700 square feet, easy for $1000 in most major metropolitan areas. An RV, you're looking at 8 feet wide by what, 20, 30 feet? Yeah. What is that? That's nothing's nothing fuck It's not a it's not very big in there. No, so you can get an 800 square foot apartment for a grand

Wow, and so the response from the owner Hello, thank you for your review. I did want to mention that the rent is 925 dollars, which is still ridiculous outrageous which includes Which includes water garbage sewer and community wifi. So the fuck what? Big deal. 920, that's still not electricity, that's still not, that's crazy. Okay, that is fucking silly.

Oh my god. Jeanette one star. Here we go, one star. I lived here for five years. Oh my God. Jesus. I can't, you know, a few months in a transitional period or something, but five years in your RV? Five years.

And even worked for the old owner until he sold it. And then I started having problems. The new owners tried kicking people out who looked like hookers. Well, Jeanette, did you get kicked out? People who looked like hookers, drug dealers, and thieves. I'm sorry, but I'm not in any of those. And they had a fight on them. They had a fight on them.

In the end, they paid us twelve hundred dollars to move out Okay, apparently they were they were put in lumped into the hookers drug dealers and thieves category We're given twelve hundred dollars to go hook do drugs. I guess elsewhere somewhere else lions and tigers and bears. Oh my So yeah and now they are kicking anyone out that they think had something to do with the lawsuit or any to any longtime stayers who might have had anything to do with it I guess there was a lawsuit except they just kicked out old man John for no reason at all not damn it John I will not stand for this the guy who had the last review was an old man named John

That's what's funny to me. They kicked him out for no reason No old man John for no reason at all not old man. It's ridiculous. They they blow No response from the owner of course not Anyway, no, we're being sued no shit Andrew one star kind of trashy and Management seemed too busy with other property and didn't get back to me like she said Okay, response from the owner. Hi Andrew seems like there may have been a misunderstanding I'll reach out with you directly and see if we can resolve this Cheyenne one star, please clean this place up.

There's a lot of nice stuff out there just out to rot. Apparently there's, people leave it outside and don't care about it, it's probably not nice. It's just left to rot. There's a lot of nice stuff. There's trash everywhere I think is what they're getting at here. And then the last couple here, Jared one star,

dirty, very unorganized, and filled with possible drug addicts and homeless. Right. I'm gonna go out on a limb, drug addicts probably. Well they can't be homeless, cause this is their home. This is their home, you can see it right there. Although, I don't know, living in an RV

is sort of homeless I think. It's borderline, yeah, you're close. It's to me, yeah. I mean, some people do it by choice and they love it, but to me, for me, I'd be like, I don't have a home. I live in my car. Right. I would feel like that.

I live in an RV, yeah, it's got an engine. Some people love that shit, though. They feel like it's like freedom, they can go do what they want. And some people only do it for a limited time. There are old people that travel for three, four months out of the year, and they're going all over the place. They can go do what they want. And some people only do it for a limited time. There are old people that travel for three, four months out of the year, and they're going all over the place.

They love that, yeah. If your permanent home has turn signals, that's not good. That sucks. No, that's really fucking bad. Sorry, my house sprung an oil leak. So finally, Cindy One Star, and I think this pretty much says it all. This is where they found my car when it was stolen.

Yep. If your place is the spot they dump stolen cars, that's the shittiest place they could find. Because that means it'll blend in here with the rest of the shit. It looks inconspicuous. And also no one really patrols it. It's probably... Right.

There you go. We're actually pulled in and we're like, this is our home? And they're like, okay, it was $9.25 a month. So there you go. There is the RV park. Stay away from that for sure. The liquor store. Watch out for your Patron cases.

Hope you got an eight-inch dick at least. Hope your dick doesn't fit in that trunk so you can feel good about yourself and put reviews on the internet. Unbelievable. Please, for the love of God, no matter what the barista is wearing, keep your fucking pants on. Please. No tugging to the latte. Oh God. Next week we're going to talk about the Sesame Street fucking amusement park in Philadelphia, which is a lot of fun. They have a Sesame Street one.

And also the Dick Museum. We'll talk about that as well. Fan. There's the Dick Museum, can't wait for that. Lots of stuff coming. Please tell your friends about the show. Post on social media, do all those fun things. Follow us on social media.

Also listen to our other shows, two of them as a matter of fact, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder. They're just like they sound, except funny. So check those out and keep coming back and listening to us over and over again because we're not going away. And thank you so much for listening. See you next week everybody. Goon-bye! Bye! Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.