Your Stupid Opinions - Chin Accommodations, Scary Campground & A Place To Not Stop

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman with their new podcast as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!This week, we look at a very "accommodating" chin attachment, possibly the least relaxing & friendly campground going, a place to get a side of mice with your Dunkin Donuts... And much more!!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello, everybody. Welcome back. Welcome back to your stupid opinions my name is james petrick hallow i'm here with my co-host i'm jimmy whistler thank you for joining us we have again just a show filled with complaints and grievances that we're gonna make fun of we cannot wait uh make sure by the way if you want follow the facebook and instagram and twitter pages and all that stuff and uh hook all that up that way you know when exactly when new episodes come out and everything

but let's get right into this what do you say here because we have a full slate of grievances today what did you promise us this week well that's coming don't you worry that's coming up let's start out with something peaceful. What do you say? All right. Something nice and peaceful. Let's start out. What can you complain about? Something peaceful.

The cartoon morning music. The classical. Yeah, that's what we're going to do here. We're going to start out with the Arcadia Peace River Campground. We're going camping, everybody. It is in Arcadia, Florida. Want to go camping in Florida? Well,

I'm not sleeping on the ground where gators are, ever. No, never happening. There's poisonous snakes. That place is terrifying. A gator can open a fucking tent, right? Very easily with its teeth.

I didn't mean it like that, but they can certainly rip a fucking hole in the could like very easily with this unzipping it yeah i didn't mean like that but they could certainly rip a fucking hole on the side but they're probably zipped that messed up enough to all the way around yeah the door falls down and there he is standing there i feel like so this is in uh the address is 2998 fl 70 so i guess state route state route 70 arcadia florida it opens at eight o'clock in the morning and let's get into this here 899-98-FL70. So I guess State Route 70. Arcadia, Florida. It opens at 8 o'clock in the morning. And let's get into this here.

The campground has hours. It has hours, yeah. I guess for you to get. Oh, for a check-in. I guess, because it's a campground. So you're sleeping there. Camping denotes sleeping. Do they lock you in? Ain't nobody leaving now.

Y'all are in for the night. You just hear a big clunk lock on a big gate lights out oh shit this is terrifying so here is in a review here five stars this person loves it the arcadia peace river campground is the best thing ever tony here says campsites are nice full hookup was great oh yeah Nice to hear he got lucky. That's good. Good for him. Good for you, Tone. I didn't know you could go to a campground and get a full hookup.

Swinging single seam going on around there, apparently. Look at that. Yeah. Full hookup was great, man. That chick in lot eight was terrific. No, we know what that means, but it's just fun. It's for your RV. Showers were clean. That's the most important thing, really.

Yeah. Can you clean yourself from being dirty in the woods? Took a shower dirtier when I got out. Or do you feel worse now because you have mold on your feet? Is that, you know? Yeah, you got planter's warts. Store is well stocked and employees were nice. And I'm sure the prices are extremely fair at a rural campground.

I'm sure they're not going to gouge you at all. I'm sure it's not $11 for Cheez-Its. No, never. Small area to ride SXS and four wheelers. Side by side. There you go. And four wheelers. But convenient to get to the river.

So not a lot of riding area. It's river folk. I just pictured them riding in a circle in a gravel parking lot like this isn't a lot of room to ride these no it's not just there's too many people in the round yeah you got to go around just like a parked hyundai that's there because it's a parking lot it's not easy uh convenient to get to the river florida rivers that sounds yeah all glass everybody so that smells terrific oh that's good stuff but you will see some titties that day i will tell you that there's gonna be a lot of they might hang down they might be they might be made of leather but you'll see them no you weren't the ones you wanted to see today

but they're the ones you got. They're there. And unfortunately, you're going to see some dicks, too, as you run screaming. Ah! Put it away, Harold! Jesus Christ! Has the same skin as the gator. Yeah, exactly. His old gator skin dick.

I make my dick tough, son. Very cool area to dig for shark's teeth. Are there sharks? In a river? I want to know how far in this is. Yeah, why are there shark's teeth in a river? Is there shark? Was there ever sharks in the river?

Now there's a whole new. I got a lot of questions. This is wild. We brought kayaks. That's nice. And went upstream, put in, and kayaked back to campground. All right. Well, that's it.

Five stars. So there we go. That sounds like a nice day. Sounds like they had the day of all days, honestly. We kayaked, and we had shark's teeth, and it was wonderful. Side by sides. It was fantastic. This person, I don't know about this.

This person did not have quite the same time here. This is Yolanis, and she had a one-star experience at the old campground. And it starts out, keep in mind, by the way, this is a campground. Yeah. So when you go to a campground, if you've never been there before, there's usually like a little guard booth type of deal. A little hut where you check in and you give them $10. Some of them don't even have that. Some of them you like a box, like in Arizona.

Yeah, some of them have a resident, somebody that is camping there for months, and then they switch hands with somebody else. So you could get a terrible host. Otherwise, all it is is just here's a bunch of land go camp on it so there's not a lot to fuck up if the showers are clean and the electricity and the hookups work and there's really not a lot to talk about it's on you otherwise but sometimes you will get shitty people running it and i think that's what happened here okay quote there are no words

for what these people have done to us. Jesus Christ. To go camping? Wow. They must have unleashed the gators or broke into the tent, stole one of the kids. Sexually assaulted in your sleep? Took them to like Bangladesh to work in a factory somewhere and sold them. I don't know. Something happened.

I'm riveted. I can't wait. and sold them and i don't know something happened i'm really oh i can't wait we were we were aggressively discriminated by all the staff at this location okay well that could happen there uh we booked a family vacation with our small kids at this place and day one the lady we had next to our rv was an employee at the site. There we go. See? Yep. Got the host right next door. Not good. That's not good at all. She was mad at us for parking next to her campsite.

And she puts in parentheses, the office assigns your spot. So, like, I didn't pick this spot. This is where they told me to park. Okay. She complained that my dog was barking and that I had him outside while we made our dinner. And she said, my dog is a Frenchie, not a big dog. So I think a French bulldog or a French... Size doesn't matter.

Yip is a yip. Are there big French dogs? I feel like all the... No. French bulldogs are... Yeah, it's a Frenchie. If it's a French version of it, it's like a tiny version. And he's got a cigarette and a little tie and he goes, hello, thank you for taking me in. Eating a cream puff. Yeah. This dinner you have prepared for me as shit married married and he's just like and but

and a french bulldog's bark is like a it's a snort because they don't have a great breathing apparatus in their face it's not no the noise they make isn't great but they do i mean if it barks it barks a bark is a bark the next up she had an issue because we were playing dominoes and that was a hispanic game i did not know that dominoes was specific to did she say that because then did she go you damn domino playing hispanic bastards i i want to know what was that well obviously you're playing dominoes game around here yeah that's i don't know what i'd love to know the terminology that was thrown around why don't you why don't you throw some sandbags like good respectable white people okay throw it into a hole damn it give it a gross name no but dominoes i didn't realize

dominoes i've always thought of. No, I didn't know it was an ethnic game. Yeah, I never gave it an ethnicity. Everybody plays Domino's. It's one of those things. She called the office to complain again. The office staff did nothing about it. Well, yeah, what are they going to do about it?

Yeah, because they can't. There's people next door enjoying the campsite. Oh, no, we'll be right over there. You're not going to believe this. These people are having fun out here. If they start making tacos, let us know, because then we'll be right over there you're not gonna believe this these people are having fun out here if they start making tacos let us know because then we'll we'll crack right down on it but right now dominoes dominoes and a barking ass frenchie um next day the same person was yelling at my son because my son was riding his four-wheeler in front of her campground

not bothering her at all he He was on the street. Okay, so not even dust. He drove off, I guess not. Are there streets here? That doesn't sound like a good campground. It's a paved campground. A camp, this is, hell, it sounds like. We were told by the office manager, Johnny Lempino,

okay, owner of this place. Is he the office manager or the owner? Which one? Johnny, who are you? Johnny Campground. Johnny Campground, who are you? Johnny campground. Who are you at? Of the place of the place that we had to move to a different site.

So apparently the office manager told them they have to move. Okay. My husband and I packed and moved. Okay. Next day, the issues continued. I was told by this lady that all capital letters, Hispanic people should not book at this place. Apparently she's making it pretty clear.

Yeah, she's not even given like little Archie bunker barbs. She's like, listen here. Just throwing it out. Listen here, pepper belly. Let me tell you something. That's a totally different thing. that's a totally different thing at 10 p.m the cops were called by me because they kept driving by our campsite complaining about every little thing they could find and again aggressively making discrimination comments toward my children that's what you want to do what is happening even

if you're racist you know the best thing to do is hurl those at children. You really want to start them young. Who the hell yells racial slurs at children? Out the window of a moving vehicle to a child? Well, that's where most racial slurs come, anyway. We get that. To a child? But to a child is different. Not from someone who can then chase you down in their own car. As a former child, never tell or show that child what car you drive drive because that is my favorite thing to get retribution on.

This is crazy. I will fuck your car up. Yeah, this is, wow. We were told we had to leave the campsite that night. I told them my husband had a drink and we didn't feel safe driving. Johnny, I guess that's the manager slash owner. Johnny was yelling from the street that she could care less johnny's a woman this has taken an even stranger turn fascinating

now i'm even more fascinated wow johnny was yelling from the street that she could care less if we had an accident or not so she wants them out drunk or sober or otherwise pack it up let's go wow um so please be very careful when you go to peace river it is a private property and rules are only enforced by who they want to it's not a safe place to go i have videos of all the aggression and i will take this to the next step which is i don't know the campground federation of america i don't know, the Campground Federation of America. I don't know what the, is there a. Yeah, KOA doesn't take complaints from other campgrounds. Yeah, is there a governing body that goes over campgrounds? I don't know how that works, but that doesn't sound fun.

Okay. No. Here's John here. John gives it one star as well. Oh, he too. Totally different reasons, though. Quote, very selfish. That's how we start.

I'm local and had a friend run out of gas on his boat. He was along the bank that meets their property. I just drove in and dropped the gas off, and on the way out, I looked up and saw an old man in a golf cart. This is a very, this is like really. so he accessed the river to get his friend gassed through the campground the campground and now we gotta have a gas off and now there's old man and then i assume well it's maybe not johnny maybe miss mr johnny now great point well this is how stephen king book start he's about to get a curse this is all really strange right now he's been cursed to stay at this campground on a golf

cart for the rest of his life and yell at people for strange small infractions um i stopped and he told me to check in to check in i thought okay for safety i can understand that they wanted to charge me 12 the nightly fee for dropping off gas to my friend. Yeah, because he drove in and dropped off gas. Then the end, the coup de grace here, the last sentence, dirt Nazis. That's a fun two words together. Running their dirt with an iron fist is what it is. Wow. He really set that up like it was going to be a creepy story and he was going to find a dead body in a boathouse.

I expected a lot going on. No, Dirt Nazis. 12 bucks was enough to break that man and make him call people. Maybe the best slang insult ever. No shit. I'm so sorry. Charge a man $12. He'll create an insult that's fantastic.

Dirt Nazis. He'll create an insult that's fantastic. Dirt Nazis. I guarantee you, as he refused to pay the $12 and as he left the campsite, he screamed that out. Dirt Nazis, as he, out the window of his car. So next up is Amanda. She says five stars for Amanda. She loved it.

She loved it. Gorgeous river trip. Gorgeous. Water level was low, so we had to walk the canoe at a few points, but it made sifting for fossils much easier. Shark's teeth again. How the fuck does a man drive a boat through shit you've got to walk a canoe through? I think they had a different, that was a month ago, and this was three months ago, so the water levels are up. In two months, you're losing. Man.

A couple hurricanes come through, drop some water, we're all set. We found several small shark's teeth and other aquatic fossils. Despite the low water level, there was plentiful wildlife, too. Stepped on a catfish walking the boat. Very ouch, but worth it. Very ouch? What? It was worth stepping on that catfish.

We've seen two groups of words put together that don't go together. Very ouch and dirt Nazi we've seen put together in back-to-back. Stepped on a catfish. It hurt a lot, but he made great tacos. He made great tacos. And it wasn't bad at Domino's, I'll be honest with you. She had to have killed it, right? Step on it? I would assume so. He made great tacos. And he wasn't bad at Domino's. I'll be honest with you. She had to have killed it, right?

Step on it? I would assume so. It just went, hey, lady, watch where you step. Yeah, watch it, bitch. All right. Here's one from Daniel. One star won't be coming back ever again. Okay. Ever.

They need to trim the branches. Say again? The damage on my RV cost me more than 10k got his rv scratched up by the branches he had to otherwise he'd have to like indiana jones through it it's that that tight on the trail to get in it's really tight i don't know jesus um spoke to staff about and they were really rude and disrespectful doesn't sound like they're real accommodating here oh my friend don't play dominoes but wow watch out they care more about their money than the customer first and last time there there are other options out there no need to come here

10 grand how fast did you drive trim your breath How do you fuck up a paint job that bad? Right. What are these branches made of? Iron? Like, what do they have? Unbelievable. Are these regular tree branches? I don't know what's going on here. Here's one.

One star. Very disrespectful and inhospitable staff. Kicked us out for simple misunderstandings simply because they didn't like us. Laughed at us while we were packing out rvs wow sounds like these people are really looking for an ass kicking is what it sounds like someone's gonna be like i've had about enough of this shit johnny and knock somebody the fuck out there's certainly baiting people holy shit uh here's one one star absolutely terrible experience service was terrible there were kids smoking weed and drinking everywhere.

Yeah, welcome to Florida. Okay, yeah, that's minor. To put these two things together in one sentence is amazing. Comma, people got run over. That's a lot worse. Yeah, that's... Stop complaining about some teenager sitting on a picnic table smoking a joint and worrying about people getting run over.

That sounds like a problem. People were run over. Run over. There were ambulances every day. Oh, my God. It's a campground. What's happening in here? What is going on in this place?

Nothing makes me feel more like I'm not in the city and away from my job like ambulance is driving they made it sound like a biker rally like not a campground this isn't says it's sturgis where are we here holy shit i was petrified for my kids this is terrifying yeah stay in the rp guys lock them up roll them up lock them down super bad place definitely never going again holy shit okay so this place stay the fuck out of arcadia enter at your own risk for the arcadia campground here which i you know if you're in a in a middling campground in somewhere in florida you should probably be aware anyway but next up up, here is a product. It's a product this time.

It's the one we talked about. This is the Accommodator from the Adam and Eve company. And it says here that they've sold over 40,000 of these on Amazon here.

And yeah, it's $29.99. And I'll show it to you, Jimmy, if I turn on the monitor. It's a real... It's a dildo that goes on your chin. It gives you three Leno chins. Yeah, it gives you a Pinocchio chin, is what it is. You look like a real liar, is what's going on here. And it's got two straps.

It's a one piece. It's not sizable. It's like, it's just stretchy latex that goes over your fucking back of your head. Yeah, and the straps, one around your neck, one around kind of the top of your head, like a sleep apnea mask, basically. Like those really intense n95s yeah total and it has four stars here also in reviews so people like it well here's one we'll give you a five star this person loved it um wow is the title of the review just wow um they love it uh this is a great uh this is a great. I don't know what that means.

Toy, I guess. Yeah, without the Y. Man, it was a delight to be sitting on his face and have that in me while I was riding it to a good ride. Okay. Do a good gallop? And he was eating all he could. Okay. He was eating all he could.

All he could. All he could. It was a buffet time over here. Until he wasn't anymore. He's on his third serving, and I'm giving it a good ride. It works well if I'm sitting on it, or if he is between my legs and using his chin like a pile driver. Jesus Christ. I'm going to need a chiropractor after this.

Man, oh, man. Great. She's a party. Man, that lady's fun. I feel like her hair was still messed up still had sweat coming off her when she left this review she's like i'm gonna get right on where's my phone where where the fuck what happened here i'm getting right on here because this is i feel good he's not talking he ate all he could he's oh he's she's suffocated he's trying to get the chin dildo off his face he

doesn't have time for this so but i'm trying to think about positioning if it's if that's in the chin there's like does it go in in the in the back side what is she doing well no she's that's going in the in the i guess the main entrance and then yeah but it's not is there enough i guess it's yeah yeah there's plenty it looks like there's plenty there yeah you get right at the tip top he's changing up the marquee and entering the main entrance at the same time that's what it is it feels like it's too i don't know maybe it's not too low i don't know no so yeah i've never chin fucked anybody that's what i mean i guess not these are uh these are obviously a little more graphic than some of ours but you know they're fun here we go uh five stars my wife goes wild riding my face that's nice so from the male point of view now we got it we got it what a lady likes out of this

now let's find out here um quote my wife loves this toy exclamation point loves it especially in the 69 position because she can pleasure she can pleasure my member orally while she uses a vibe as opposed to yeah we got i mean we understood we you think we got it in case there's any children or inexperienced people reading this this is the pleasure of my member or Orly. Listen, I'm classy. This lady's present. If he's chin dildoing her that way, he's absolutely in her asshole with his mouth. He'd have to be, yeah. Has to be.

Well, because then his mouth would be above it. Well, she's using a vibrator, he said, too. So he's covering all bases here. Okay. She uses a vibe uh remember oh she uses a vibe on her clit yeah with the chin dong inside of her all while having me lick her asshole so he it's all laid out he's gonna lay out the scenario for you he storyboarded it very nicely for us right we can all we all get what's happening now i feel like i want to open an asian buffet called chindong

chindong everybody and jimmy just sits in the back laughing us in the back just laughing everyone every time someone comes in and our receptionist says welcome to chindong try the rangoon welcome to chindong can we have someone lick your asshole ah try the chow mein i'll try why is it spelled main like that why is it like that don't worry about it just chow it and shut up oh man oh it gets crazier by the way oh my god then she gets up on her feet and straddles my head while in the same position squatting on my face she moves up and down on the chin dong slamming her ass into my face yeah um tell us more you poet if your wife is as wild as mine this toy is a must one two three four five five exclamation points they had a really good time he gave zero warnings by the way the way, with butt play.

Because somebody slamming that much on your face in there, my friend, something might roll out. Hey, you know what? He's fine with it. He's a gamer. You better be careful. Jesus Christ. Dive on in, man. What are we doing here? Are you dipping a toe in the water and swishing it around?

That's ridiculous. Evidently, it's great. Fucking hold your nose and jump in the deep end. Don't even test the water. We said it's fine. What are we, pussies over here? Jesus Christ. Gin pong.

When I tell her to pick out which toys she wants that night, this is always included in her selection. She throws it at me pick it on motherfucker i like how he goes pick out what you want to use tonight and they gotta opens drawers yeah get after it babe i pictured a closet where it would be like all lined up on its own special like holders and shit things with hangers yeah and like and like the outlines like tools in a garage you know what i mean oh that's no that's where the 14 inch dong goes you can clearly see it by the stencil stains and um that's nice one star here i don't know how after those two reviews i don't understand how

anyone could give it one star because it's it thrills some people so. It feels like somebody used it wrong. Right? Waste of money. Oh, okay. Here we go. I thought this would be fun to try, and it had great reviews. It sure does. The product I received in the mail is not what is pictured here. Oh. It was made of cheap styrofoam-like material.

Well, that seems like it would break down rather quickly. Yeah, that feels like it'll break down rather quickly that feels like it'll break off right away hey oh no we got to take you to the emergency room now um and it bent in half like a sponge well that's not gonna work either not good that's not good i didn't even remove it from the clear plastic wrapper which had a quote made in china stamp on it okay our most i assume most of your dildos are probably made in China just because they make a lot of plastic items. Also, about fucking probably 70% of everything we use is made in China. Jesus.

We'll be getting a refund. No, you won't probably. That's your dildo. I think that's, like I've said many times in the past, once you buy a dildo, that's your dildo, everybody. It's a one-time thing. That's your dildo everybody it's a one-time thing that's your chin dong one star and the title is nope yeah my wife didn't like it at all oh didn't like after two minutes she said nope that's the title after two minutes she said get off my face get off hold on i'm gonna i thought this was going on take that take that thing off he she probably just looked at him and went you look like an asshole right now that's probably what it was i can't look at you and take this

seriously you have a dick on your face you have a dick hanging off your chin i can't you know as good as it may feel i can't fuck a guy with a chin hanging with a dick hanging off your chin. I can't, you know, as good as it may feel, I can't fuck a guy with a dick hanging off his chin because it's just too ridiculous. I can't look at you like this ever again. I don't know if it was the angle or how big it was or what. She said it hurt too much. Okay. Yeah. He didn't get any clarification.

Just no. Yeah. One star next up again. Yeah. Prose. All right. The thought of using it was mind-blowing the thought of using you bet it was i was excited for it to arrive cons uh intel i probably until it arrived uh or no intel intel it arrived it was poorly designed It didn't fit my head. Kept bending, folding.

After it folded, it stayed that way. Used it once, then had to throw it away. Extremely disappointed. As for the gift that came with it. The gift that came with it? What gift do you get with a chin dildo? That's strange. Never got to use it.

For some reason, it melted and all deformed when it arrived. I guess the heat had something to do with it. Melting? Probably. Good call. That's possible. Yeah, I would assume here. So, yeah, there's a lot of flimsy, a lot of flimsy, flimsy, flimsy.

All right. Here we go. A little too flimsy. Again, two stars. Wow. Quote, a little too flimsy is what they say. My wife has a pretty tight pussy. This is on Amazon, you put this.

I'm sorry, but I had to read that because it's fucking ridiculous that someone says that. Now, let me start you out. When Jeff Bezos designed this, do you think he ever thought that was going to be typed on there? My wife has a pretty tight pussy. Now, let me tell you. When he started this site to sell Gone with the Wind. Let me tell you my most personal and intimate details about my wife's anatomy. That I'm sure she'd be very happy that I'm sharing with everyone.

We had a difficulty getting this in her even though she was very wet. Okay. So, again, that's not the problem. I just can't imagine divulging that information to fucking anybody. Real casual. Real casual. On a two-star review. Not even a one-star.

Right. On a two-star jobber. Two stars. My wife's pussy is too tight. Two stars. Let me tell you about my wife's pussy. That doesn't seem worth it. It feels too soft, like it's filled with air instead of being solid.

Her pussy or the filter? I don't know. That's that's what i mean which one what are we talking about here you gotta be specific bro it wasn't nearly as fun as i thought it would be yeah yeah that's um jesus christ Jesus Christ. Tell me there's more. Yeah, okay. One star. Oh, the terrible latex smell. Oh, God. We did not even try to use this. As soon as we opened the package, the latex smell was too much for us.

It reeked. Oh, overpowering. We each had to wash our hands a couple times to get the smell off our hands wow thought that it would be nice to not have to hold a vibe while doing oral but the smell is not worth it again the dildo or your wife's pussy what are we talking about you can ask that all the time to people now when they say anything. The item or your wife's pussy? Which one? But not worth it.

They should make this in a jelly with a vibe. Well, now you're designing your own. Why don't you just make it? Now you are now an inventor. There you go. Would be a much better toy. We return this the next day. You know what Alexander Graham Bell said?

He said, I'd like to talk to somebody really far away, but there's nothing that offers that. I have to make it. That's what I mean. There you go. Sometimes if you see a gap in the market, you jump in that gap and hope it's not too tight to get in there. And then you can buy all of them you want. Yeah. So there's also now you've gone to the campground.

Yeah. You've chin dildoed your wife and you've been chin-dildoed. We don't know what's on that thing. It could be gross. You might need urgent medical care after this. We have no idea. So let's head up to the Hamtrack Medical Urgent Care in the Detroit area here. The Hamtrack?

Hamtrack with a CK. Hamtrack. Like Amtrak with an H? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. with a CK. Yeah. Hamtrack. Like Amtrak with an H? I guess, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that CK? Yeah.

9740 Conant Street, I guess. Hamtrack, Michigan here. Oh, okay. Got it. Okay. It's an urgent care, and some people very happy about it. Here's a five-star review. Dr. Masora was the best.

It made me feel so comfortable. No judgemental. Two different words. Very sane judge. No judgemental. And was a pretty quick and easy process. Thank you so much. Pretty thrilled.

Okay. But didn't tell us what they were being treated. Kept it very HIPAA. That's fine. Yeah. HIPAA confidential. You don't have to tell us what they were being treated. Kept it very HIPAA. That's fine. Yeah. HIPAA confidential. Tell us what's wrong with you. That's your business.

I do like that they were not judgmental of a grown adult with an injury probably. Yeah. You might have an accommodator broke off in you and they need to dig it out. You never know. Don't judge. So here's Jennifer with a two-star review. Okay. I've had something for a family doctor.

It's I-D-D-I-N. I don't know what that is. That's the person, I think. Maybe, just not capitalized. For a family doctor for 20-plus years now, and he's good at what his profession stands for. Okay. This is a two-star review. So he's a glowing testament to the medical profession.

Okay. But his front desk staff needs to change their attitudes. Oh, boy. And do their job and pick up the phone when you call. Oh. It rings and rings. There's no voice, man? Well, let's find out.

So unprofessional. If you don't like your job, then look for something rings. Yeah. There's no voice, man? Well, let's find out. So unprofessional. If you don't like your job, then look for something easier. Okay. Oh, she's that one. Okay. Thanks, Jennifer. You call, they quickly pick up and automatically put you on hold for hours. Or they hang up on you.

Yeah. Yeah. Did Jennifer really sit for hours hours on the phone for the urgent care yeah that defeats the purpose of an urgent care you're supposed to be out of there well before they would have picked up the phone anyway so right what are you asking what do you need to know um okay here is one star from chris one star one of the worst urgent care experiences I have ever had. Okay. Well, the first thing is urgent care is the worst experience.

It's always bad. It's very impersonal. It's set up like last resort. Yeah. If you're bleeding profusely, this is close to your house. Come on in. Come in. We'll see if we can stop the bleeding and send you to the ER.

And send you to a place where they can actually fix you. But let's see if we can stop the jugular from squirting blood, maybe. We're overpriced first aid. Come in if you'd like. Come on in. Under, yeah, that's not great. So I've ever had places dingy, dirty, and unkempt. Well, that's not good.

It's medical. That's urgent care. That's urgent care, yeah. Staff was super unfriendly and unwelcoming. It's urgent. So, yeah, anything where there's urgent,. That's urgent care, yeah. Staff was super unfriendly and unwelcoming. It's urgent. So, yeah. Anything where there's urgent, they're going to be stressed out. Those are bad, yeah, bad attitudes around there.

Bad attitude. When I was eventually called up to the counter, the woman who was working asked me what I was there for. I said, I feel really sick. Well, that's not very descriptive, by the way. No. We need more. She was like, with what? Yeah,

motherfucker. What is wrong with you? She looked at me and couldn't diagnose it. Yeah. She does paperwork. That's like a doctor. What are you here for? I'm in pain. What hurts? Fucking bitch. Didn't even know. Say what's wrong with you.

You're at the counter. You're here. No paperwork, no forms to fill out, nothing. No directions, confusing as to what to do when you get there. She told me to go to the ER. If I could give zero stars, I would. I'm sure you would. This place, in all capital letters, is a joke.

They couldn't even look at me and tell me what's wrong the receptionist couldn't even diagnose me by sight i expect better from a fucking this place is bullshit what a load of shit uh do yourself a favor and drive 10 minutes to another urgent care i eventually went to michigan urgent care in ferndale where i got amazing service and care for what turned out to be a flu diagnosis just the opposite of ham track urgent care a quote health care facility that turns away sick people oh the irony don't bother you're an adult that had the flu go home and take care of yourself you came came in and said, I have ouchies, and they didn't fucking know how to fix it. Go to your mother next time. How about that?

Eat some chicken noodle like the rest of us. You fucking had the flu. Call your mom up next time you've got problems. She might know what's wrong with you just by you going, I feel sick. I threw up and shit my pants. Well, go lay down. I have poopy shit my pants. Well, go lay down. I have poopy on my leg. Well, that's nice.

So here's a one-star review. Cold offices. I don't know if that, does that mean like, maybe they're like an old school person from the 70s. Like that office was cold, man. Like it was good. You know what I mean? Ice cold.

That's like, yeah. It was bad, man. That was a bad office. Ice cold. That's a bad yeah. It was bad, man. That was a bad office. Ice cold. That's a bad bitch. That's a cold bitch right there. Yeah. She cold-blooded.

Cold offices, also, they don't turn heat on in the waiting room. Well, yeah, it seems like it's just cold in there, is what you just described. You've used a lot of words to say this room is cold. To say whole place is cold. When they put you in the room, they forget about you. That's a doctor. Yeah, that's what doctors do. And you'd have to be on them until they take care of you.

They waste your time until you're a problem. They waste your time for no reason. No, there's people. You just had a medical experience. That's all it is. I like this here. Doc, this guy, loves the doctor, which is fun. Five stars for this guy.

Five stars. The only thing that's frustrating sometimes is the wait time. But Dr. Uden, I guess that's Dr. Uden from the last one, always took care of me. He caught my sinus tachycardia on an EKG and got me to see a cardiologist, and I found out my heart was healthy. Even though I would go there only twice a year, he always remembers me, even though I don't see him much. Not to mention, he's a pretty funny guy as well. Well, there's your answer. You laughed at his jokes.

That's why he remembers you. Yeah. It helps when doctors feel like people and not robots. Wow. That is fucking amazing. Here's one star from Lauren. Worst urgent care center ever. Yeah. Wow. That is fucking amazing. Here's one star from Lauren. Worst urgent care center ever. Ever.

The staff are rude and not helpful. And it's cold in there. Yeah, and it's freezing. They really just want you to use their poorly stocked pharmacy and have outdated computer systems. They have outdated. Apparently. Whoa. I couldn't even call to find out how my test results

are because their phone number transfers you to a mailbox that is full okay okay no callback about results no way to reach them by phone go here at your own risk my god they're um that's a very angry maybe they probably told her if we don't call you everything's fine we'll only call you if there's maybe or they're piss poor at their job here because there's a lot of yeah there's a lot of people that uh don't like it here so worst place ever a lot of front desk doesn't know what they're doing it's very strange here somebody gave left one star and just said wow with an exclamation point wow they were just stunned by what the fuck happened there. They couldn't realize.

So you've left the hospital. You've waited a long time. You need a refresher here. So let's stop at the Slotesburg Travel Plaza on the Toll Road rest stop in Slotesburg, New York. Is this a motel? No, it's on the New York State Thruway. It's one of those big, like where you bought the chicken in Pennsylvania that made you sick. One of those

big travel centers that's got a bunch of restaurants, every fast food restaurant you can imagine, and stores and all that kind of shit. Place to park and hang out for a while. It's a brilliant idea, in theory. It makes sense. You're trapped on the road. There's nowhere else to go. Here's four stars from

Anna here. the slotesburg travel plaza is another new york straight new york state thruway rest stop slated for renovation inside duncan donuts and burger king were open as well as a gift shop the bathrooms are dated but clean the gift shop i got you a shirt from the slotesburg here you go here's a new york state thruway exit shirt. Look at that. And that's hot shit. I like the way the central ceiling looks

and hope it will stay that way. Hmm. Okay. Let's go to one star here. Yeah. Steve, not a fan. Everything is closed inside except one shop.

Okay. Well, maybe you went at fucking 11 at night. Let's see. What time is it here? And also, is it being renovated? Paid $29 for two small, cold, pre-made wraps and a fruit cup. That seems like airport prices is what you're saying.

Yeah. No napkins anywhere. All dispensers were empty. Bathrooms are disgusting. Of course they are. Yeah. This place is obviously going to be renovated or bulldozed soon they can at least put a sign on 87 that's the thruway by the way stating it's under

renovation and there's no food not to waste people's time this place is gross stop in at your own risk yeah rest stop this way and then a sign under it going, it's terrible, don't bother. It's gross. It's gross. Just so you know. Here is one star. Every food outlet closed. Mice infested. Oh, Jesus. That's no good at all.

But there's no food. Why are they there? Right. I walked out immediately. I told the clerk in the convenience store. She didn't seem to care. She knows. Yeah, she knows there's mice.

She's like, yeah, I know. I told him. Wow. That's fun. Here is Christina, one star. If I could give negative stars, I would. Negative stars? Negative.

I've never heard that before. It's a rest stop. Did you pee? Okay. Were you relieved? Right? The absolute most disgusting bathroom I've ever been in. Oh, yeah.

She's never been in a men's room. I feel like probably reeked of urine. 90% of the sinks were out. Wow. The rest had no water pressure. No, no water or no water pressure. What are we talking here? I wasn't going to dare to use the hand dryers because of how disgusting the whole place was i would have rather not stopped than use this place

well pee in a bottle go ahead here we go um this next one is very personal yeah one star here we go first of all if you were in the reviews and your name is rick white you are a liar okay liar this is the second service area just before the second set of tolls and second of all this place was disgusting before they shut down bugs spotted everywhere unsanitary practices in Burger King. Oh, no. Expose time. 30-minute line for expensive and old Dunkin' Donuts. I hope the renovation is nice because this place was a joke before. Why is Rick White a liar?

I guess somebody gave it five stars, said it was good, and then they were like, fuck you, Rick. Rick's never coming back to see if there was a reply how dare you rick wow that is wild okay so let's see if maybe down south or somewhere better let's go to the la rouge mart in baton rouge louisiana hell yeah this will be fun i love these convenience store ones okay this is 79 is 7930 Jefferson Highway, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Here we go. Okay. Five stars.

Yeah. Perfect. This store is always clean and the only place that never has issues with their icy machines when I go there. Oh, I love that. That's frustrating when you go and you want an icy and they're like, all we have is Coca-Cola flavor. Or you put your cup in and it's just fucking liquid. It's frustrating when you go and you want an Icy and they're like, all we have is Coca-Cola flavor. Or you put your cup in and it's just fucking liquid. It's just liquid. Yeah, that's bad.

I hate when there's like four flavors. I have one. And you're like, well, even if I like that flavor, now I want that one. Right. Because you suck. And seeing the arms spin so freely in the liquid drives you bananas. Yeah, look at it in there. It's just moving around.

It's no good. It's just water. No resistance against it yeah nothing uh okay one star this is from dylan big fan of this store really convenient for me that is a convenient store yeah it's doing its job one star this is all complete sarcasm this entire oh thing. Oh, got it. I love paying 30 cents more per gallon than anywhere else. It's my favorite. It's the best. I love how everyone expects exact change, even for prices like $3.44. They want exact change.

We don't have any change for you. I love how no one speaks native English. Native English from london what are we talking about native english here would be not that it would not be english yeah well yeah it wouldn't be english but native english would be like in england i would think right yeah no one speaks native english is his i don't know i love how the manager felt compelled to give the store a five-star review to rise it above an average of two. His manager? Apparently the manager is. The manager of the store?

Yeah. I love how cheap the Icy's are. No one complains about the Icy's. I don't know if that's sarcastic or not now. I don't know what it's got. Yeah. That's the problem when you overuse sarcasm. It's like crying wolf.

Then no one knows what you're talking about ever. Now your shit is a mess. Oh, my God. Okay. use sarcasm it's like crying wolf then no one knows what you're talking about ever now it's now your shit is is a mess oh my god okay this next one wow this person has a lot to talk about yeah one star and their screen name is armed citizen so a little angry here one star last saturday night they would not sell me any lottery tickets unless I had the exact change. I asked to buy one lotto, one Powerball, one Mega Millions, and one Easy Five. A total of $5. In case everyone's...

Yeah. The older of the two attendants responded, Exact change. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This was exactly $5 worth of lottery tickets. The only cash that I had was in $20 bills. Okay.

My only alternative, it seemed, was to go someplace else, which I did. And that should be the end of your fucking review. Until somebody at the L.A. Rouge Mart won the fucking mega millions there's one two three four more paragraphs what i don't understand what this person is they said the circle k down the street cheerfully handled my transactions i can't be sure but it looked to me like the next customer was having a similar problem this is not the first difficulty i've had trying to buy lottery tickets from this retailer i got an idea trying to buy lottery tickets from this retailer. I got an idea.

Stop buying fucking lottery tickets from there. You know, there's nothing I love more than having a difficult experience and going right the fuck. Going right. Yeah. Buy an icy and go buy your tickets at Circle K, you asshole. What are you doing? Or stop buying anything there and just go to where you seem to have had a gleeful and happy experience. Yeah. In the past, they've gotten angry at me when I only bought lottery tickets.

Well, yeah, they don't make a profit off of that, really. So they have refused to sell me lottery tickets on occasion by telling me they were too busy. We don't have time for that machine. They've told me that their system was not working. They've asked me to go buy something before selling a lottery ticket to me. Stop going there that's four different bad lottery buying experiences i just counted stop a person that really needs it to go well one fuck yeah they're like i'll give them one more chance you know what maybe they was having a bad day the last seven times i went there wow um i do not understand why they have lottery tickets for sale there.

They do not seem to want to sell them. I suspect that they may have a higher percentage of lottery-only purchasers. In my opinion, the reason for this is their high price. Their gas prices are much higher than others in the area, sometimes 30 cents or more per gallon than other stations. The items inside their store are also priced higher. The rudeness is not limited to lottery purchases. They sometimes fuss at you.

Yeah. Fuss at you. Yeah. That's a very local term, I feel like. They fuss at you about how to use their drink machines or which straw you have picked or how many napkins you've taken okay so they're trying to cut costs so he's doing all sorts of business in this place all sorts of fucking merchant purchases here he's gotten food things that require napkins straws he's buying lottery tickets why has he come here um okay um once i was told to hurry up and

buy something because i was taking too long yeah okay that old trope at the time i was thinking the only i was the only person in the store i was hungry for something and was just having difficulty deciding remember the seinfeld soup nazi well this guy is the lottery nazi okay so we've had a lottery nazi and a dirt nazi in the one episode that's he could have just said he's a lottery nazi we would have got it we would have gotten the reference you didn't need to say remember this they were able to say soup nazi because we all understood what you meant so you don't have to remember that clint eastwood movie i told him make my day yeah we know what we know what it is man the term nazi we get to put anything in front of it it's fine their rudeness has pushed me beyond my personal line of dignity to the point of alienation

stop going there you just said there's a circle k that happily handles your fucking transactions is cheaper and sells you the fucking line at this point it's on you i hope when you go in there i hope the guy knocks you down and slaps you across the face with his chin dick accommodator back and forth you fucking deserve it you idiot it's like a man that goes to uh dominatrix pushes his balls to the board and then complains that she stomps on him yeah she hurt my balls she keeps doing it jesus christ this is fucking wild one star they forgot to put items in the bag when i returned the manager refused to look at the surveillance film. They said bring up the surveillance film like someone was murdered in the parking lot and there's a warrant.

He's like, fuck you. I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Yeah, you left it here. Now you lost it. You want to buy it again? Be an adult. Check the bag.

I don't know. Check your shit. Go elsewhere. Wow. All right. Now let's check out another place here. this is in newberg new york so we're gonna i'm gonna shoot local here right up the road across the river here and newberg is uh they have like the riverfront which is all bars and that and then the rest of it is uh one of the

highest murder rates in the country it's just not a great place and this is for the section 8 housing all right the burton towers at 36 saron place uh in newburgh new york so right how the government runs section 8 housing hey why not we got lottery purchases uh chin dip chin dildos what the hell okay i can't believe they can review this yeah why yeah why not it's in there here we go um here is four stars oh it's great good place to live although some neighbors are rude and always cranky well yeah they're poor that's why i can tell you right away broke people got an attitude about it crazy it was poor for a lot of years and it made me cranky i can't buy shit and i'm mad about it that's i'm fascinated this person's shocked by that's wild weird people aren't aren't thrilled around here it's very strange uh here is a five-star. Clean, cool, warm, cozy in section eight.

Okay. Everything I'm looking for. Everything and free. I like it. Oh, man. All right. Three stars here. Building needs some overhaul with heating issues.

That's not great. Tenants need to be honest with management slash owners on apartment issues, and they need to not fear a repercussion. They're poor and afraid of being thrown out. Fuck you. Yeah, they just want their heat fixed. This is horrible. I feel bad now. This is terrible.

I feel bad for these people. One place, or one star here, one star. Quote, it is worth it. This is one star. It is worth it. is one star it is worth it nice people live there they are old but clean the people are the buildings nice people live there that means the next day they are old okay the people are old that's the subject that we're discussing here's people but clean i love them i don't know but he she loves he or he loves it all i believe just loves it um here's two stars one sentence which i find fascinating

checking on the elderly no what i don't know that's two stars checking on the l i don't know if maybe this is he'd like replies maybe he thinks maybe he's saying check in on them check in on them because the heat's not working so it might be frozen to the recliners um and finally three stars for this one and this is fun i don't know why this person would rate it at all three stars quote was never here what so um never here so i don't understand that at all i'm gonna go give that chin dildo three stars yeah didn't order it never even opened the box because i think you have it's a verified purchase thing and then finally let's say you've been in one of these convenience stores and you need a place you need you're looking around.

They're telling you, buy something. If you're going to get lottery, buy something. And you're like, are you panic by something? And you're like, I'll buy this magazine. Straight Stunton issue number 63. That's what I'll buy. Straight Stunton, really? Straight Stunton issue number 63.

Now, if I have to describe the magazine Straight Stunton to you, you know what it is? It's exactly what you think it is. Every cover has a chick posing like the little Kim poster, like sitting with her legs spread. Yeah, it's not just like, there's women of all kinds. Here's the cover of Straight Stunton from 2020, issue 63. It's not what i thought it

was i thought it was gonna be like like uh cars and and no no crazy purchases no no no no this is a magazine to this is a masturbatory aid i believe is what we're gonna call this i can't believe that's what it's called that's what it's called here straight stuntin and this is uh issue 63 from 2020 it's on uh i think ebay here or no it's amazon you can get it on amazon um here's a review five stars lol bought for family member in prison they loved it i guess yeah i bet they did lol i bet they did love it yeah i sent it to a guy uh that's behind the wall he likes it he likes seeing tits it was amazing here's five stars again the title of this review is perfect for inmates so is anything where you see a vagina

um oh no this, it doesn't. Perfect for prison inmates. No full nudity, but plenty of fun. So they're allowed to, you can send them into them. Oh, so it's like lingerie. I think it's specifically made for people in prison because you can actually send it to the prison because most prisons don't allow like pornographic magazines with actual things they want to see. But here's five stars buyer beware here do not order for the federal inmates oh they you can get in trouble for that

it says the feds can no longer get these oh so you're doing fed time you have to just read fucking popular mechanics yeah you gotta hope that there's a chick bending over a car changing out a spark plug or something that's going to turn you on. That's going to be, that's rough. Yeah. Now, here's five stars. Five stars. And this is a review that, the only review you should really leave on this if you're going to leave any review.

Quote, nothing but fine, thick women. Couldn't ask for more. There it is. There it is. Yeah. You're using this product correctly is what you're doing. It's exactly the way you're supposed to use it. Now it makes sense exactly what it is. There it is. Yeah. You're using this product correctly is what you're doing. It's exactly the way you're supposed to use it. Now it makes sense exactly what it is.

It's big booty women. Yeah. We know what it is. It's voluptuous hourglass gals. That's all. And next up here, oh my God, one star. Terrible. Not a titty to be found. Oh my God, a titty to be found. You got a titty to be found.

No, this person has an actual real gripe here. This isn't straight Stutton's fault, I don't think. This is whoever resold it. Magazine came falling apart. Oh, it's been used. Oh, no. With multiple blank pages. You know what?

You're lucky they tore those pages out out because if they sent them to you blank pages so they tore a couple out just filled it with some just some lined paper in there there's some college ruled in there i was gonna say that like a big fucking you know whatever legal pad thing yellow with like top and bottom hanging out it's longer than the magazine there's some construction paper with a sketch of like a just a stick figure with boobs on it ah this is so good i want to know what it was a stick figure with boobs on it that's all i need it i need it to be i know it'd be so amazing blank pages like i said torn out of a spiral

just thrown in if they tore those pages out it's because there's something on them and you don't want those pages or the fucking guards yanked them out not allowing it in the prison that's possible also and they're like damn it messaged them a week ago about this and no one has responded it's that one was in corcoran sorry about it i i expect better from a straight stunting magazine retailer. A reseller, not even a retailer. I'm sorry, that magazine spent time in Pelican Bay. Yeah, we don't know where that was. But the guards ripped out the pages they liked the best, and then it got passed around cell block D, and now we're here with you.

Enjoy the loose leaf and shut up. Oh my god. Loose leaf. In there there so those are the complaints we have for this week everybody believable straight stunting and watch out for the thruway and do all that shit holy crap that's amazing and we have so many more weird things next i can't wait we're also gonna we're gonna incorporate a couple of of segments here and there into the thing, like personal item corner. Yeah, something we used. Your chin dildos and that sort of thing. Or it could be that or just like, you know, something, a personal item, a wipe of some kind or something like that.

We're also going to have a luxury corner where someone complaining about something that you wouldn't think that is bad. You shouldn't be complaining about that. to have it yeah luxurious spa that has like 4.8 stars well out of that 4.8 there's a couple people that are really going to complain and oh boy they're going to be fun so we'll do a bunch of stuff like that so much more coming this is never ending there is the one thing that the internet is full of is opinions and reviews. It's the only thing that supply and demand doesn't touch. That's it. Yes, as my father would have yelled at me as a child. The only thing more prevalent than opinions are assholes.

So they're out there. That's what we've all been yelled at. So thank you so much for joining us, everybody. Join us next week again on Mondays, Monday mornings. And, of course, listen to Crime and Sports on Tuesdays and Small Town Murder on Thursdays and Fridays. And keep coming back and hanging out with us. Follow those Facebook groups, too. There's all sorts of different groups, and there's a page that we have so you can find out everything you need to know about the show and do all of that.

Thank you so much, everybody. We will definitely see you next week. I can't wait. Bye! Follow your stupid opinions Follow Your Stupid Opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.