Your Stupid Opinions - Dirty Mickey/Bad Buzz, Humanoids In The Woods, Dismembered Sex Torso, Dystopian Walmart

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

This week, we have all sorts of complaints about a party service that sends over very poorly outfitted kid's characters, like a filthy Mickey Mouse & a bursting Buzz Lightyear. A picturesque national park with no tree ramps, and shadowy "humanoids" in the woods. A very personal item, that appears to not only freaks people out, but may come with a disgusting surprise!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello everybody, welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hi. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman.

We have so much crazy stuff for you today. More of other people's opinions. And that leads me to what we say before every show. These are not our opinions. Although we might share them if we knew. We don't know. These are other people's opinions we're sharing them with you that's what makes them so hilarious because it's not about

the thing being reviewed it's definitely about the person reviewing it so that's the fun part we'll get right into this you can follow us on social media yeah all the sites there's groups you can join all sorts of stuff shut up and give me murder.com is the website to go i think there's merch now for this too sure so i think we have that's your dildo shirts, as a matter of fact. It sure is. So that said, we might even have that's your dildo dildos. That's what we need to put out. This is your dildo.

This is your dildo in all caps for your. That said, let's get back where we left off last week. Let's pick right back up again. We left off at the old Dayton, Ohio Walmart Supercenter. Right. And, man, people were complaining that Joey doesn't work there anymore. Where's Joey? We need you back, Joey.

And then it started to get wild. It turned into this weird dystopian, nothing on the shelves, post-apocalyptic scene. I don't know what's going on. Watch out in the bathroom, James. Jesus. Oh, well, let's find out what's happening here a little bit more. Let's find out what Dustin has to say. Oh, Dustin.

One star from Dustin. All right. Well, let's see what you got to say. Quote, workers standing around. I mean, they want them running in place. That's fine. Unless you need them. Maybe they're waiting for you to need them.

That's what they're on alert. The Buckingham Palace guards are standing around. No one's talking shit about them. The guards are just standing there like idiots. Only had one register open and only five self-check registers. Okay, you could open up more registers. It is a Walmart. The line was so long.

Workers talking to each other, blocking the aisles. That's inconvenient. Yeah. If they're impeding your shopping, then that's not good. Are they huddling, discussing their plan for the day for work? Or are they just talking about- Yeah. Is it a pre-shift meeting?

Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. Oh, no one will come in this aisle. It's some, you know- It's the craft aisle. I was going to say, it's got like flowers that you'd sew onto a pillow or shit in it, like those weird plastic. Iron-on letters. Yeah.

So they were blocking the aisles. I said, excuse me, and they looked at me like I was in the wrong. Yeah. Hashtag worst Walmart ever. Hashtag. Hashtag a Google review because that matters. Very nicely done. Here's one star, singular star.

I order something online through Walmart. We don't have a past tense here. I don't know if they order currently. And my bank statement tells me they charge me three times for one order. Oh, no. That's not good. So I call them two different times and tell them what's going on. And they tell me I am confused. They know. No, you're confused. Hang up on him. We

know. We know what we're doing. Charge me one time. Now the third time I call, they took all three charges out of my account. And now they say, oh, it was your fault. I will never deal with these people again. I'm over it. I don't even know what happened still. I don't know if they gave him money back or if they took more. Did they take three more times out? Did he pay six times?

Did you click checkout three times when it said don't fucking click it again? Wait for the screen to change, asshole. Next, One Star from TM. They for the screen to change, asshole. Next, one star from TM. They have a lot of reviews, too. This is one of those local guide people you see on Google. Yeah, trademark guy. Yeah. Rude staff at the South Dixie store.

The clerk that was working in the health and beauty walked right in front of me in the allergy medicine section and didn't say excuse me. Oh. Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, you'd prefer an excuse me, but if she didn't say excuse me. Oh. Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, you'd prefer an excuse me, but if she didn't spit at you or punch you or anything, call it a win. Who cares? If you're just standing there and she walks past, who cares? Imagine not only remembering that 20 minutes later when you're out of the store,

but boiling about it still to where you pick your phone up and that's the first thing you write. That is. Imagine being married to a person who takes lights that fucking seriously or knowing that we're working for them or are we there that walking in front of somebody is like a slight that's a bitchable offense come on man they're gonna put it all into context for us here okay all right sam walton and his heirs ought to be ashamed of themselves at what goes on in their store. But making money off staff and customers, they know Walmart is less expensive than Target. Here we go.

Update. We got an update from this person. Female, red hair and tattoos pharmacy tech needs etiquette and customer service training. Rude and no smile. Well, I'm sure she doesn't smile much. I just try to get in and out. That's my update. Ever been to a pharmacist before?

No. Oh, man. Very brusque. There's an in and out. Yeah, you are never getting in and out of there. No. Quick, quick, quick. And you want that because there's a lot of people waiting for shit.

Michael gives one star. This guy has a shit out of there. No, quick, quick, quick. And you want that because there's a lot of people waiting for shit. Michael gives one star. This guy has a shitload of reviews. This place is very messy. It looked it from the pictures as we saw. It is also a scary place. Oh, boy. Please watch your back.

Don't go in that craft aisle. You want to stay in well-populated aisles, they tell you. Well-lit, well-populated aisles. The corners of the store like where the fishing poles poles are, it's bedlam over there. It's just people stabbing each other. There's knives on the shelves, yeah.

Yeah, catching each other like fish. Park close to the doors during the day. During the day, not even at night. Park close to the door so you can get out and jump in your car? Yeah, I guess quickly before people accost you. Avoid nighttime if at all possible. Don't go at night. Wow.

If you have to go, park in a well-lit area close to the doors. So much happens at this store on a regular basis. What happened to this person? Let's find out. This is a high crime area. The local council legalized panhandling, so beware of the 20 to 30 usual regulars. They also come through the parking lot and get aggressive with you uh with you going to your car or while you're putting your purchases

in your vehicle please make better choices to shop if you can in other words don't come here yeah they are much better there are much better box stores within 15 to 20 minutes away we usually go to this sam's then drive north on on 75 to the Troy exit on Route 41 to shop at Walmart, even though Walmart's next door to Sam's. They're not even reviewing the Supercenter. They're reviewing, okay. Next up is Guy with one star. There we go.

The people you got there is very, very rude. The people you got is very rude. The people you got there is very, very rude. The people you got is very rude. The people you got there is very rude. Then you're going to, your question mark, going to question mark, never keep question mark nobody. I don't know what the fuck that. You're never going to keep nobody. I guess if you take all the punctuation out, it's kind of a sentence. The customers or the employees i don't know there because i

spent some money for a ring and serene engaged in the rain what the fuck does that mean in the rain she's gonna she was so rude and i could take my beer what What the fuck? Sounds like he drank that beer fast. In the ass. That's what it is. He's got letters and then asterisks. So I'm trying to figure out what he means here. She's gonna, I'll read the exact thing. She's gonna, she was so rude and I can take my beer in the ass well, but you know.

Question mark. No, I don't know. Do you know? I think he butt chugged and he is out of his mind and then he went to buy an engagement ring i feel like at walmart i don't know what happened in the rain and somebody got in the rain said no we had to butt chug the beer the last sentence really doesn't make any sense and he says it's all good i'm gonna tell my friends too and you have a blessed day okay tell everybody that story it sounds amazing i'm gonna give my own review of this star of this walmart particular walmart one star that guy shops there period i'm done i want nothing to do with it nothing to do with it next Nothing to do with it. Next up, JJ, one star.

I would never recommend anyone to work here. Management is horrible. There is no punctuation in this entire paragraph. So I'm going to read it. As said, I recommend anyone to work here. Management is horrible. They talk to you crazy and expect you to always walk away or bite your tongue. And if you do say something, you would be looked at as crazy.

Management team are all best friends and if you have a disagreement with any of them good luck because they'll take their side and give you coachings and they don't even they don't care about anything they don't care anything about what you got going on in your personal life i'm glad i got fired and god let me out of this predicament it wasn't worth the stress anymore and i'm glad i got recorded every incident and proof just in case they want to try something else funny and this isn't all they did to me and friends good luck new hires this person he got fired yeah well used to work there he typed this on the way to his car after getting fired i wonder if he was the one that was in the bathroom maybe that's that's sticking his head under stalls and shit that's fucking great man i got things happening in my personal life you

don't understand you don't know shit jesus christ man um okay uh here's one uh one star my husband and i were buying a birthday card at walmart around 4 p.m april 30th 2022 well the scene is set yeah very concise dating everything all of a sudden a white skinny guy appears uh wearing a yellow walmart vest and approached my husband telling him he is a suspect of shoplifting. White skinny guy. White skinny guy. My husband thought it was a joke. That guy even said that my husband shouldn't think it's funny. I was mad hearing what this guy is saying. I said call the manager because this is not right. The guy wanted to pat my husband and this made us so angry that my husband called 911 and this guy took off laughing when he heard that my husband was this made us so angry that my husband called 9-1-1 and this guy took off

laughing when he heard that my husband was literally calling 9-1-1 he didn't work there some guy he ran off laughing that's not as he was a high making youtube videos one of those dicks something like that and they're that's not the Walmart's fault. They got to let everybody in. They can't be like, I don't know. Oh, my God. That's interesting. Ricky, one star. Overall trash.

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody knows that. That is the reputation. You know what you're doing. You steal your gird, you gird your loins, and you go into battle. That's what you're doing you steal your gird your loins and you go into battle that's what you do if you want to wait in line for an hour to buy some socks just to have the cashier hold your change in hand turn around and talk about some pretty explicit topics

yeah i guess come here if you want that if you want them explicit topics sexual encounter i don't know just to get rude when you ask for your money so you can leave this just might be the place for you okay if that's what you're looking for i am well that's that'd be great show me great night next up neffy gives one star this is wonderful the walmart driver Wonderful. The Walmart driver of truck 21 space 0276 who claims his first name is Fred. I don't believe him. I don't believe him. You know his ID number, but his name he won't give you. Threaten, not threatened, threaten to ram the back of my trailer at the PNG in Vandalia, Ohio. I had to get security to let around the building to avoid conflict. I did not know Walmart was having their truck drivers behave this way.

Oh, that's policy. They say you... That's first name. Yeah, they get in your way. That's orientation, man. She said, we're going to ram you, motherfucker, and they'll get out of the way. Our trucks are bigger.

Yeah. That's Tracy. That's Tracy bigger. Yeah. That's Tracy. That's Tracy Morgan. Yeah, that's what I mean. Get out of the way of a fucking Walmart truck. They'll go through you. They go through a fucking RV. Shit.

Yeah. They make you a little bit strange to watch you stand up from now on. A little more wonky. Yeah. Yeah. We are supposed to be professional drivers. Damn it. Okay, so that's the Walmart in Dayton, Ohio.

So obviously... Everybody is serious with everybody there. The employees, other customers, it doesn't matter. Fucking fake security officers. Truck drivers, fuck. All of it, full circle there. So let's get out of there and go somewhere beautiful to cleanse our souls and our minds of all this. Let's go to Yosemite National Park. Oh, lovely.

All faithful is there. Is that right? Isn't that in Yellowstone? Oh, no, it's in Yosemite, right? Yosemite Park is a park in California's Sierra Nevada Mountains, famed for its giant ancient sequoia trees and for Tunnel View, the iconic vista of towering Brita Vale Fall on the granite cliffs of El Capitan and Half Dome. In Yosemite Village, our shop's restaurant. Yeah, I think they'd mention the geyser probably. I don't think they'd say a fucking word about trees if that thing was there. That'd be later.

They'd be like, by the way, there's trees all around that cool geyser we told you about. So this is up in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. It's a beautiful, pretty, I mean, these big rock mountains. Is this where you can drive through the tree? That's what I think. That's the tunnel view. I think that's what it is. Yes. That's where you can drive through the tree that's what i think that's the tunnel view i think that's yes yeah that's where you can drive these giant redwoods and everything so big you can fit a fucking car through it yeah they get like four million visitors a year yeah big place it's a almost a 1200 square mile place a big area uh started in 1890 this park so

here we go five stars stars. And the views. I mean, there's pictures of these views. I'll turn the monitor towards you. You can see them. They're just... Yeah, it's crazy. They're lovely. That exists nowhere.

That's insane. It says, stunning park. Huge and beautiful. Went in October and the weather was beautiful and seeing the colors change was lovely. The valley where the food is was super packed and barely a spot to park from afternoon to evening, so take the shuttle if you can. Even the five stars say, fucking packed.

Lots of people. Yeah. Because it's beautiful. It's a national fucking park, man. Yeah. The shuttles are free and take you around. Drivers are usually good about telling you what is at each stop. Overall, it's a stunning place to be be and the rangers are super lovely okay

restrooms colon barf tastic which i i've never heard that before bart simpson didn't coin that term no he blew it recommended to go in the valley instead of any outhouses on the trail just shit in the woods they just said it fine. Take your chances with the bears. Don't worry about it. Do you think it's compostable, or is it just a fucking hole with a plastic seat over it? I think it's a hole with a plastic seat that doesn't get cleaned very often.

Yeah, yeah. These rangers have a lot of duties. I don't know how much, like, you know, wipes they have on them, and, like, that's why I said duties. Jesus. I was going to say, to take care of those duties how many wipes they have on them i was going there's a lot i was getting to the second duty there

son of a bitch i had to uh matt here five stars again words cannot describe if you are thinking of going don't hesitate go i feel the best time to go is around May, but it all depends on how much snow is melting to get the best time for the waterfalls. Wow. Yeah. Here's one here. Five stars. I photograph many weddings and elopements in Yosemite National Park. Who photographs elopements?

Isn't that the whole point is you take off and do it? Make it fast. Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it. If you get a photographer, that's if you have a photographer it. If you've got a photographer, that's a wedding. If you have a photographer who's not your friend with their phone,

that's a wedding you're having, not an elopement. You're having a wedding. You hired a guy. It's a wedding. Yeah. You've got a caterer for your elopement, too? Yeah.

We cater our elopement. Here's the photographer. Oh, where are my bridesmaids' dresses for the elopement? Do you have it? Okay. Oh, where are my bridesmaids' dresses for the elopement? Do you have it? Okay. Oh, this is the parents' table. Very nice. That's a polysyllabic word for wedding, you fuck. You jackass.

From tunnel view to this upper glacier point road overlooking Half Dome and the waterfalls, it's a must-see for everyone. Also a great place to get married or elope. Alright. Now the bad. The perceived bad, I should say. waterfalls it's a must see for everyone also a great place to get married or a lope all right okay now the bad the perceived bad i should say there's already bad toilets oh they're terrible they're get worse one star from rod driving there just to get turned around because we did not know

anything about a reservation that had to be made to go into the park for the day ranger was not very understanding well i'm sure you understood just fine i just told you no he couldn't make an exception yeah he doesn't need to understand anything you didn't uh google it i think because if you just go to their site it's like the fucking first thing that's there is get tickets to make a reservation yeah yeah day pass whatever it is they're going to tell you what what needs to requires. I knew to make a reservation for the Alcatraz boat. So if we knew to make it for the Alcatraz boat, maybe check in on the park, too. You never know.

So here is Jordan One Star. Great place. Make sure you pack bear spray. Why? They say it's not allowed. But don't listen to them. now it's today the big gun hide it and they can't do anything about it better to have it and better to have it and need than not to then not have and need okay idiot or you could not go places where there's bears because the other thing if you're

afraid of bears i mean you're in i would never go into that habitat and be like oh a bear i'm gonna spray it i'd be oh shit i'm fucked i went where bears are if it was in my yard i'll spray get the fuck out of my yard that's it do you also go in the ocean with shark spray you motherfucker you bring a harpoon with you into the ocean when you go swimming just in case here's andy one star dystopian nightmare what it's a beautiful the views it can drive through a fucking tree for christ's sake dystopian nightmare it's all burned okay no parking incompetent park employees ridiculous rules e. Okay. No parking. Incompetent park employees. Ridiculous rules. E.g. required check-in at Camp 4 by 8.30 a.m.

But staff don't actually open the check-in booth until 8.30 a.m. Right. So I guess you could get the, I don't know. The layout of the roads are a horrible mess. Yes, because they're going around mountains and natural shit they can't tear down, you dummy. There is construction everywhere. There are endless lines for everything, even at 9.30 p.m.

The stores and restaurants are allowed to price gouge. It's one of the most unrelaxing places I've ever been. So you got there at 8.30 and stuck around till 9.30 p.m.? You got your fill, man. What do you want? Not bad. You were there for 13 hours at least

i've never been anywhere i hated for 13 hours i wasn't like required by law to be or you know being paid to be yeah you go to disneyland for 13 hours and you go this was so stupid but we're here yeah we did a lot i mean we got our money hours? Then he said, this guy flagged me down for a jump start. He said he tried with the park ranger, but he was charging $100 per car. Park ranger's got a side gig over here. This is fucking great. Atta boy. What do you want to, you want to drive away?

I don't know. A lot of bears out here at night. Did you bring your spray? Because you're not allowed. You didn't bring it, huh? That's because it's not allowed. Yeah. The only way to survive a, quote, vacation here without lots of money is to work the system and make friends.

Seriously? F this place. Okay. Jesus. F this place. It's horrible. Next up, Matthew, quote, it's one star. Best place I've ever been to.

Great food and amazing service. One star. None of that makes sense. None of it. It's probably foreign where one star means the best. It's got to be. Yeah, it's a top thing. One star all the way.

Here is one star. I can't believe such a popular national park doesn't offer cellular service or Wi-Fi to its guests. Again! There's no technology in the woods. This is bullshit. You're in nature. If only this nature was more like living in the city. Don't come here. Stop. I took pictures. I need to put them on Instagram right away right now everybody gonna know that i was here oh no i came all the way here spent all this money and for nothing

do a photo dump tomorrow you fucking ass memories with my children that's not what i'm here for i gotta check msnbc this is Instagram. Oh, my God. Let's see. In case of emergency. Because, you know, well, yeah, you're in the woods, though. That's the problem. You've taken a risk. You got the SOS.

Yeah. 30 years ago, if you were in the woods, you were in the woods. That's it. There's no other thing. We couldn't ask for help, and Ranger is not willing to help either. Then it's not a fucking emergency. Yeah, using his phone to call your mom. What are we talking about here?

If you need to call for help and you ask the Ranger and he tells you he can't help, it's because whatever you want is not a fucking emergency. It's not a thing. Who cares? Just walk around. This is a park. Sorry, you wore flip-flops. Wear them. That was dumb of you.

One star from Peter. Too many trees and big rocks like El Capitan or Half Dome that I have to climb. I don't want to have to climb all the stuff they got here. You guys got like an elevator or at least an escalator? Well, update.

Did the four mile trail and it was beautiful, but I couldn't take photos because they didn't tell me to bring my phone or camera. Who? They got to tell you? Who the fuck needs to? One person didn't even look at the website to see you need a reservation.

This person followed everything to the T. And he was like, it didn't say bring your phone. I left it at my house. How am I supposed to take camera pictures without my camera? Wow. Also, no cell phone service and water. Well, yeah, because you're in the woods. That's how that works.

You asshole. And then it says, sorry, all. It's not ADA compliant. There is no elevators or escalators. Right. There's no ramps. It's the woods. It's the woods.

Again. God damn it. It's the woods. You're going to the woods. It's mountain range, you fucking idiot. Yeah, where are the handicap ramps? What? What are you talking about?

I don't know. That rock kind of looks. You can shoot one off of there, I guess. That's all we got. Be careful. We're the only species on the fucking planet that gives a shit about you anywhere. If a moose loses a leg, the moose fucking dies. Something eats it.

That's what happens. It limps around for a while until something faster eats it. Period. Just be happy there's fucking Braille at intersections. It's not in the woods. There should be ramps everywhere. Everybody should have the same access. We all agree with that.

The woods are different. You don't get it there. I'm sorry. We can't control the woods. The whole point is to keep the woods. If we start building shit all over it, it's not the woods anymore. Now it's fucking, it's ramp world now. We've turned it into a different thing.

Wheel to the edge and have a look-see and then wheel back. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. The mall, yes. The woods, maybe not. Let's just say that. Go to Dillard's if you want. Yeah, I don't know.

Here's Bannon with one star. Terrible experience. Why, Bannon? Visited the park this weekend. Accidents can happen anywhere, and that is exactly what happened with us. A huge rock slid down the mountain and fell on our car we were driving down the road oh god in arizona you drive up the 17 it's a falling rock zone you go they don't actually fall on shit they actually fell on them wow they put the sign

up because it's happened at least once they have to put a sign every time i see him i go oh is that right that's scary and then you kind of look up the side of the rock face a little bit as you drive that's what you're supposed to do what do you want to be sturdy what do you want this motherfucker didn't look at anything nope luckily no one got injured that is not the bad part oh the rock falling on their car isn't the bad part while they were driving the worst part was that there was no park ranger that drove by the road we were stuck on for more than an hour we could not move our car even by a millimeter and it was raining horrendously our car was almost blocking the road there was no network coverage to call for help thankfully a passerby offered to help and some

of us drove down almost 90 minutes after we found a park ranger who got us in touch with a tow truck driver. There were two more cars stuck due to accidents, and there was one tow truck and one driver in the entire park. What a nightmare. Oh, God. There was zero cellular coverage to be able to be in contact with anyone at that point in the park. We were literally stranded in the dark forest and rain until 9 p.m. till the tow truck came to bring our car and the remaining people stuck down. Wow. That's a terrible day.

Horrifying, too. You're on a small mountain road, and that's the risks that go on. Horrifying, though, that in the middle of a torrential downpour, a rock hits your car. What's to say another one's not right fucking behind it that's bigger? An avalanche is about to happen, and we're going to be buried in it. Horrifying. What's to say another one's not right fucking behind it that's bigger? Yeah. Oh, my God. An avalanche is about to happen, and we're going to be buried in it. Horrifying. That's scary as shit.

It's worse. I was in a hailstorm once. It scared me. That sounds worse this year. Yeah, at least those are just hitting the car. Right. Ricky with one star. I don't get what all the fuss is about.

Ricky, what have you seen? There were no good bars. Okay. Okay. Sorry. We'll put up a fucking TGI Fridays on top of one of the fucking sequoias. Will that help you? But you've said it a million times. Ricky's are always a fucking party, bro.

Ricky's looking for a party. He's like, bar around here? They're like, there's a rock and some trees. We got that. I don't know. The snow's melting. There's waterfalls. What about Coors Light?

Any of that there? Can I tap the mountain stream or no? Are the mountains blue right now or what are we talking about? How cold is it? How cold? And I had to walk too far to see stuff. You lazy fuck. Go to a bar and watch TV, you lazy asshole. That's what you want. How cold is it? How cold? And I had to walk too far to see stuff. Okay. All right. You lazy fuck.

Go to a bar and watch TV, you lazy asshole. That's what you want. Go watch fucking drag racing. Also, look nothing like the pictures on their ads. It was even prettier. It was way prettier in person. Can you say false advertising one star? Wait, what?

It's better than it looks. I'm pissed. And where's the bar? No booze. Better than it looks, you guys. Those pictures don't do it justice. No booze. Wow.

For as confusing as that was, I don't think Ricky should be drinking anyway. This is probably for the best. He drank and drove there. Oh, for sure. Absolutely. Here is for sure. Absolutely. Here is SR with one star. We need to have crowds increase. Everyone else said too crowded.

We need more people. We shouldn't be limiting anyone from entering Yosemite. This person didn't make a reservation, I feel like. And please do it so that every vehicle that arrives at an entry point doesn't have to pay and wait. Also, National Park Service, please continue to maintain the park with the expected increase in people, but do not get in the way of us on our vehicles.

They really want a lot of changes here. They do, yeah. Make some more space, too. Golly. Cut down some fucking trees. You got too many. There's too many. Big rocks all over the place.

We don't need all this shit we need some farting spots you can clear out acres of trees he really does want it heck i see a few large meadows that have already been flattened down by nature that would make that would be great locations for a parking lot as jody mitchell weeps what the fuck you literally want to fucking tear down it's literally paradise unbelievable nature made an amazing thing and you want to cover it in asphalt. Like, why can't you pave this? It's too, wow. Why hasn't anyone thought of this yet? Well, because they're,

you're the dumbest person, that's why. They did and they was laughed out of the room. I gotta be honest with you. They told him, are you out of your fucking mind? It's the whole point of, get out, now. Nobody's gonna pay to see a parking lot. Fuck you. I know Ricky's at the bar waiting for you.

Go meet him because I'm tired of listening to you. Wow. I'm tired of having to go to Yosemite during peak times because that's when I can use my vacation hours from work and not be ready and prepped for my arrival. Ready and prepped. He has vacation time there. Build him a parking lot jesus we're not spoiled in this country right not at all people in other countries expect the worst to happen they do people we don't even expect good things to happen we expect national parks to pave parking lots around our vacation schedules and then have it as his country And then have it ready for us.

Oh, my God. Prepped. Holy shit. Give me joy. I do not want to wait for anything in my life. At least you're honest, asshole. This is a weird one. Michael, it's very short, one star.

Would be a damn shame if someone dropped an atomic nuke on this place from 15,000 plus feet during peak season. That's the review. We got to make sure that guy has nothing dangerous in his possession. We need to. I almost want to give you his last name so someone can call if you know this person. Call ATF on this man. Here's JD3stars. Never coming here again.

There is a thing I saw. It was very tall and a pure black humanoid creature walking around in the woods. Oh, how many stars? One star, and that's four thumbs up from other reviewers, so they must have seen the same humanoid creature. I saw it too. I'll say it, and I've said it before. I'll say it again. Maybe it's a bear.

You ever think of that bear you ever think of that you ever think of that grizzly bears are giant humanoid looking creatures if you see them in the dark holy shit yeah yeah um okay and i think this is the last one it might be one more short one after this this is from i'm not going to give the name okay one star please clean the restrooms on the weekends. Oh, boy. When feces come out. You knew poop was going to be around. Once again, your stupid opinions promise.

The fecal guarantee, there will be poop. When feces come out of the toilet 12 inches over the toilet seat. What? You had a measuring tape? That's a pile of a foot high. That means someone put their feet on the seat, squatted above an already full pile of shit, and shit more on it. Multiple times.

More than once. More than once. 12 inches? That's a lot. And how much would it take to make a pile like that? That's like, what, a thousand shits? I mean, that's a lot of shit. As it settles.

Good Lord. How many times? I mean, anybody's got anything pretty soft. It would smush down. We're talking volume here. When feces come out 12 inches. Inches over the toilet seat. You have a health code problem.

You have more than that. Physics, health codes. I want to talk to Stephen Hawking. I want to talk to whoever's in charge of cleaning this. I want to talk to steven hawking i want to talk to whoever's in charge of cleaning this i want to talk to everybody yeah somebody's got a fucking somebody's a doctor if they got that much coming out wow yeah they need a lot of a lot of problems solve it you charge 35 per vehicle there should be no reason to not have clean restrooms in all caps with three exclamation points for sorry as we also we was riding a motorcycle and got charged thirty five dollars for a vehicle.

And my son was also riding a motorcycle and got charged thirty dollars for a motorcycle. Please retrain your employees to not steal from the hands that feeds all of you. Well, that that's actually doesn't maintain the park. Tax dollars feed those people that does minimal maintenance probably on a park that big with that many people working there. Justin, finally, this is just a silly one. One star. Eh, if you've seen one mountain, you've seen them all. Justin, you unpleasable cocksucker.

In other words, what? Mid. Yeah. Mid. Very mid. Drove through a tree. Mid. Mid. I had to pull my mirrors in so the sides didn't hit the fucking redwood of a redwood or a sequoia next up is our personal item of the week

oh boy here we go i am so angry let's go let's go fuck ourselves jimmy god damn it i've had it i am going to show you what it is first before i read you the description that what it is the male version of that lena basically it's a torso with a gigantic dick my god it's like a thin like an in-shape guy's torso with a i mean ball set very realistic looking ball sack, too, I got to say. Does that say it's eight inches? That's more than eight. Well, because it's a, no, it's eight, but it's a small thing, so it makes it look bigger.

Oh, okay, got it. It's like he put it next to like a mini soda can to show off his dick. It says brown male sex doll with flexible dildo, realistic sex, huge cock sex dolls for women, tight anal hole, eight inch cock for female masturbation, unisex masturbator, sex toy for women, gay couple, men, 6.2 pounds. That's the description on Amazon. 6.2 pounds. It's heavy. You could beat somebody to death with it. And the darker the pigment, the more expensive it is, by the way.

Really? There's like a white, white one that's $49.99. Then there's kind of like just a mid-white. Tanned man, yeah. That's $53.99. Then there's a black one, a brown one, a chocolatey one that is $55.99. Jesus. But it's not a bigger dick though i don't think i think the dicks are all the same size um the next that feels racially super insensitive

right i enjoy this a lot this is the thing which you get and it says you get one drying stick whatever the fuck that is uh it says perfect size it's a 5.1 inches around the dick, 8 inches long from tip to balls, obviously. And it also claims a, quote, tight anus, which is very nice to see. That's your thing. If you've got to put it inside you and then jam a finger in there to get off. And it also shows you the box it comes in to show you it's not any very nondescript. It's a plain box. So there's a one-year warranty on this. Oh.

It'll send you a replacement free of charge if it tears or rips naturally. No need to return the item back because it's a personal product and cannot be resolved. No, that's not why. Why? That's your dildo, sir or man. No need to return that. That is your dildo. sir. Or man. No need to return that. That is your dildo. So I'll give you the quick description.

Two in one unisex sex doll. This is a male sex doll with a realistic huge dildo and tight anal. A massive cock dildo to impale yourself on. That sounds attractive. An anal tunnel to thrust into. is that anything like the redwood tunnel is that the similar one close your mirrors ask the park rangers about that one uh and even and some even come with pussy attachments which i don't know what that would be something vibrating stimulator you could pretend that's the asshole. You can pretend whatever you want.

It's so versatile that they're great for solo play, also for couples. And then there's a very descriptive, the tight, lifelike anus. They just go into description. The length of an anal channel from the sex doll is six inches and is designed to stimulate or simulate

the tactile sensation of the real anal. Okay. Okay. Five stars. designed to stimulate or simulate the tactile sensation of the real anal okay five stars best thing ever five stars get it boo is the title get it boo get it boo three exclamation points i love the toy it's very sturdy definitely worth the price it price. It was very beginner-friendly in size and very easy to prep, use, and wash it. The shaft part of the mannequin dildo doll has the perfect firmness and thickness, and the material is so soft to the touch. I've had it for a few weeks now, and it's still holding up nicely. Is that what she said? Yeah, nicely. A few weeks, I've been riding the shit out of it.

I've been working that shit. Here is five stars from Charles. Decent size and great quality for the cost. Let's see. There are tons of these on the market, and some are better than others. Unfortunately, yeah, that's going to be true. This is a nice middle-of-the-road option. That's good.

It's a mid-cock. That's nice. The product quality is great. The weight and stability are there, but it isn't too heavy. That's nice. The product quality is great. The weight and stability are there, but it isn't too heavy. That's nice. Some have complained that the torso is small, but it's a toy and not meant to be proportionally realistic.

It's got a huge dick. That's what you're concentrating on. It's very weird to be riding a baby with a giant cock. That's what's weird. Half a baby with a giant cock. A dismembered baby. For $2,000 plus you can get that, but I'm not interested in trying to stash a 115-pound, quote, body, much less maintain such a thing. No kidding. That's creepy. The girth is less than five inches, but it isn't a straw, and I'm okay with that.

He's measuring it, though. It isn't going to be filling any carnivorous or cavernous voids if you get my drift. Oh, boy. He's very small, evidently. Jesus. It's worth the money, and although this does require some basic cleaning and upkeep, it is reasonable and less of a pain in the butt, pun intended, and less expensive than a real man. Sorry, guys. Five inches of girth is, hmm.

Yeah, all the way around um not like a cross yeah right and it's not yeah it's not diameter it's all the way around yeah yeah james gives one star a pedophile's fantasy toy if i could zero star this i would he felt shitty about it yeah the picture is misleading it looks like a normal male torso but it is far from it looks like a little five-year-old black boy's body with this really big ridiculous cock that's anything but realistic jesus he sprung for the black one good for him that's yeah even though i left it in the original box it came in amazon won't take it back no they won't i don't care if it didn't even get to the mailman.

Once it leaves the warehouse, goes in the dumpster, doesn't come back in. Sorry. I get the reason why. Do you, though? I don't think you do. You're complaining. But I haven't even opened the plastic wrapping, and it was wrapped from the factory. I'm going to have to cut it into small pieces and throw it away using several random dumpsters

to get rid of it. They have to pretend they murdered and dismembered a child and then throw it away. That's going to look even creepier. Yeah. Oh my god. I would never allow anyone to see me in possession of this thing because all my friends would get the wrong idea about me.

No, I think they get the right idea about me no i think they get the right idea well i think that he doesn't like they think he likes boys little boys yeah not that he fucks himself with a dildo yeah that he they know that already i'm pretty sure yeah just not the one with a child attached to it with a dismembered child attached to it they would think the worst and i would be labeled as a sick and twisted pedophile and most likely get arrested and imprisoned for life. Jesus, I think you may be taking that a little far. People would look at you. He said, do not buy this thing.

This is in all caps in a separate paragraph. Do not buy this thing. It will be a waste of money and keeping possession of it would give law enforcement all kinds of ammunition to really mess your life up. What? The manufacturers of this product should be ashamed of themselves they need to discontinue the sale of this despicable item

yesterday wow jumping to some conclusions there james oh that guy is paranoid holy he saw it he's like oh my god he got paranoid like someone sent him a dead child in the mail i gotta cut this thing up and get rid of it i'm going to prison shit oh jesus this is terrible um talcum powder here's one star talcum powder is known for cancer in men and women is it okay i wish i read more talcum powder i wish i read more there's no punctuation so it's hard i wish i read more talcum powder is actually related to cancer it was known in baby powder please do more. Talcum powder is actually related to cancer. It was known in baby powder. Please do research on talcum powder and I wish it was a little bit more

lightweight because it is heavy and maybe you could do something about the smell. I will sadly be sending it back. No, you won't. Everyone, people think it's amazing when I say that's your dildo. Who the fuck tries to send back a dildo? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody that's your dildo. Who the fuck tries to send back a dildo? Everybody. Everybody.

Everybody that's ever bought one from Amazon, obviously. I wouldn't send back socks, never mind a dildo. Sending it back because of the talcum powder being used and I do not want to get cancer. Not worth the money plus it really stinks.

Here we go. One star. Terrible. Again. Bought this we go. One star. Terrible. Again. Bought this product twice. Same result. Burned twice. Well, shame on you, I think, as the saying goes.

The metal rips through the shaft. Very unsafe. It's got metal in it? Yeah, the shaft is made of fucking metal, apparently. Here is one star from Katie. Looked like a really nice one but dot dot dot this looked really great weirdly tiny body but the usable part looked really fantastic but i never got to try it since they sent me a used one with semen still inside of it what and no i am not mistaken we're just gonna are you sure? It's before either of us said it.

I want to get to that. And no, I am not mistaken. It was definitely semen inside of that hole, which I've heard a lot on Law & Order SVU. You hear that all the time. Chris Maloney has probably said that 7,000 times in his life at least. Ice Cube loves to say it. That is definitely semen inside of that hole. Cube loves to say it.

That is definitely semen inside of that hole. They wanted it returned anyway, and I did so use caution with seller. Hello, KO. Best of luck. Update. Zero stars. Zero stars. The company Hip Gaga had been emailing me promising me a free replacement, and then when they finally got back to me after I've, yes, thank you, they tell me I have to purchase it with a 50% discount code, then leave a five-star review and provide

them proof, and they'll give back the amount I actually paid. Whoa, that is weird. One star just for looks, Vanessa says. Put it on your mantle. I mean, it's just to show company, really. When your pastor comes over, when your grandma's birthday, days like that. Nice centerpiece. That's what it is.

You could put the flowers right out of the urethra. It's excellent. Right out of the asshole. You can squeeze it and mashed potatoes come out. That's how you serve dinner. It's really a nice thing to have. Just for looks have just for looks i guess i'm just too thick slash big for this i'm unable to do the splits low enough to the ground

for it to work for me baby elevate it what are you talking about it yeah put a book under it what are we talking about here think for two seconds she's trying to get on the ground with it? You got a dictionary? Get a phone book under there. That should give you some clearance. You got a chair, for fuck's sake? She's doing full splits trying to get down. Like, it won't get in my pussy.

That's crazy. Oh, man. She can't get within eight inches of the ground. That's wild. That's fine. I mean, most people can't doing a split, but you shouldn't have to do a split. The fuck this thing is what I'm getting at. Even if you squat, you can't get within eight inches of the ground.

Well, I can, but I don't know. There might be people that have. Hold the back of the couch. There's all kinds of ways to do it. There's a million ways to do this, but she's like, it's got to be splits over it. That's the only way I can come. It's the only one. At least it wasn't full of semen.

The phallus was sturdy unfortunately it just sits on the shelf collecting dust just looking pretty that's that's for me not not easy to keep clean attracts hair like nobody's business which is just hilarious nobody's business okay it's like one of those sticky hands that you used to have. Yeah, you throw it against the wall and they fall down. They're covered in hair after three, four uses. We said that about one of the dildos a few weeks back, too. It's a sticky hand. You threw it against the wall? Yeah, it's a sticky hand.

That's what they are. Brittany gives one star. Horrible. Okay. The product would have been awesome, but it has a lot of skin problems. Oh, you know what that is. It's got like psoriasis, stuff like that. Okay. The product would have been awesome, but it has a lot of skin problems. Oh, you know what that is. It's got like psoriasis, stuff like that. Yeah, it's an issue.

It looks like... What the hell? A dildo with psoriasis? That's terrible. You don't want a psoriasis dildo. Soft scale. My psoriasis dildo I got here. It looks like it was melted down or something.

Not appealing at all to look at. Almost looked used. Well, check its butthole. That's a good way to find out. Check its oil. Pop a dipstick in there. Hoping to contact the manufacturer for a new one because I was looking forward to this. Wow.

Just send pictures. They'll warranty it. That's all they want. That's what you got to do. Send pictures of your melted down dildo. With hair all over it probably. Mashed potatoes in its butt. And possibly used.

Maybe. One star from tea. This is a waste of time. Oh, I see. I see. used maybe one star yeah t this is waste of time no i don't i see don't really care for it it doesn't do any justice for me oh okay and then finally rebecca one star not what it's like it says not what it says it's like i think is what they were going for but that is crazy could not feel nothing and no pleasure no nothing eight inches and five inches around couldn't feel it felt nothing felt nothing well at least she could get down on the ground to it so congratulations rebecca that said that was

i'm my god what a toy i'm depressed with people's stupidity at this point. I need to be cheered up a little bit. How about you, Jimmy? Yeah. All right. Let's get cheered up a little bit. Unfortunately, what's going to cheer us up is someone from clowns.com, which can't be good. That's a website? That's a website here.

But, no, it's a business that has a physical business, too, clowns.com. And it's www. to clowns.com and it's www clowns.com they somehow this must be one of the 1993 website yeah they've robbed the.com they serve the bronx and nearby areas so surly surly attitude filled fucking birthday clowns but that's not just clowns that's the thing because we did a clown this is like people who dress up in characters and come to your party. That's the big deal here. Oh, so you can get like an Elsa or some shit. Yeah, Buzz Lightyear can come or whatever.

Birthday party planning, children's party planning, corporate events, face painting, photo booth rentals, balloon twistings, baptisms, bar mitzvahs. Wow. They are 4.8 stars, too, on Google, with 3,537 reviews. My God, they have been in business a while. Long time here. And they're either five stars or one star. There's nothing in between. And they say,

Clowns.com is your one-stop shop for clowns, magicians, princess parties, mascot characters, concession rentals, bounce house, and inflatable game rentals. Clowns.com has a huge assortment for all these different parties. Okay. First up, Carrie Ann, five stars, and there's pictures of her kids with Mario and a princess. Oh, she got a Mario and Luigi Mario. I think she got Mario and a princess together here. Oh, that's good.

Totally amazing. They went above and beyond and was able to control and keep 17 kids entertained and focused. It was my first time using them, but I will definitely book again. Thank you for making my children's party extra special. Above and beyond. Above and beyond. Five stars from Justin. Sonia and Ben were amazing.

They were so good with the kids. All the kids and adults had an amazing time. Plus, they were kind enough to allow me, a big kid, to get my face painted, too. Such a fun experience. And he was like this big, huge black guy with this princess painted thing on his cheek. His daughter told him to get it. Great dad. Yeah.

I saw him and I'm like, that's a good dad right there. And he didn't get a clown or a character. He just got two people, Sonya and Ben. Paint some fucking faces. Paint mine. I don't give a shit. Do it. Yeah.

My daughter wants me to get this. Fine. Francisco, five stars. Amazing details on the face paint and the balloon animals. Very super cute. Now, our old clown, that was their main. Remember the first clown we did? That was the complaint. That was his downfall, yeah.

He can't paint faces or twist balloons. He sucks at that. Susan and her assistant were very super patient with all the kids. Stop using super. Or very. Use one or the other. Stop it. We're very patient.

That's fine. That's good. Or super. Very super twice in a row with all the kids and took photos with everyone. Cotton Candy was great and they dressed up as Baby Shark and all the kids loved it and they're dancing. The Magic Show was amazing as well i would hire them out for our next kid's birthday party that's great except for that baby shark bullshit oh boy they probably three-year-olds you know what i mean yeah my that would drive you

crazy my niece loses her fucking mind about it it's the worst i hate it so much it's sticks in their fucking tiny undeveloped brains. That's what it's for. They can say every word and they love it. One star from Monet. And this has a picture of Mickey with an unhappy child here. I won't be using them again. Safely, I was disappointed.

I don't know what that means. Mickey Mouse was dirty and didn't fit in the customer. Didn't fit in the customer. Didn't fit in the customer. The hands looked a little off. And the picture, they do look off. They're like too big for the person. She means costume, right? I think so.

Yeah, yeah. Who would post a dirty Mickey? I mean, have you been to Times Square? The ears are like four. That's a knockoff. No, he put the head in his trunk and closed it. Now the ears don't stand up straight anymore. That's what it looks like.

Put his groceries on top of it. Yeah, he's like, I got it. I got no choice. Also, the recommended tip is $60, which isn't much. I just don't appreciate them telling me I have to tip them up front and wouldn't start until they got the tip. Damn, Mickey plays hardball over here. I got to get a fucking head. Come on. Wow.

Yeah. That is if I wanted to. You can't force people. I reached out to the office a week ago. Still no response. A lot of people say they beg for tips here. Dimitri, one star. What a joke.

Okay. Must be Canadian. Another joke, yeah. Yeah. 30 minutes before arrival for my daughter's birthday party, these clowns canceled my reservation. Oh. And that's literal and figurative. That's hilarious.

This is terrible. Honestly, that is a joke then. It is a good joke. They can charge you now. This is a terrible business and extremely unprofessional. I have no words. Please call and explain to me why my kid had to cancel her entertainment at her birthday party. That is fucked up.

For a man with no words, he's got a lot of words. Plenty of words there. Carrie, one star, so incredibly disappointed with this unprofessional company. I witnessed the most disgusting event in my life when a child entertainer literally yelled at a kid with special needs that's not good not only did that ruin the vibe of the party i guess but the princess was awful showed up late had a bad attitude and couldn't entertain children for her though for her life i thought she was smoking, drinking, she had a knife in her fucking garter bell. It was weird.

Couldn't entertain children for the life of her. What a joke. Would never want my worst enemy to experience this horrific level of customer service and disrespect. Wouldn't worship my worst enemy? A surly princess? Right.

Come on. I would? It's a fucking party entertainment? A surly princess? Right. Come on. I would. There's worse. Yeah. I'd be like, I wish you a surly princess at your kid's birthday party. Deal with that shit. That's a pretty good wish. Yeah.

It's like a low level. It's realistic. You know what I mean? It's not asking too much. Yeah. Lightning to strike them. Come on. Cost them money and then their kid's pissed off?

That's great. That's crazy. So a bummer. I was expecting Cost them money and then their kids pissed off? That's great. That's crazy. So a bummer. I was expecting a lot more and was thoroughly let down. Jesus Christ. Okay. One star. This is long.

We paid $100 deposit via card and hiredclowns.com to provide us with two adults dressed as Woody and Buzz from Toy Story for one hour. Okay. They showed up and an hour and a half late with one female employee. She said the other guy didn't show up for work. You mean to tell me a guy that dresses up as Buzz is unreliable? Unreliable. She offered to wear one costume for half an hour and the other for a half an hour. We weren't thrilled, but we were mulling it over.

She decided to call the owner and put him on speakerphone. His exact words in an attempt at a menacing tone was, you will pay for two entertainers for one hour and get one entertainer for a half hour because that's how it goes. hour and get one entertainer for a half hour because that's how it goes you're gonna pay for one quarter of what you get because that's what it is sorry that's how it goes that's how it goes you're breaking my fucking balls over here absolutely not how it goes the review continues we sent the woman on her way something could could have been worked out, but they decided to try to intimidate and stringent instead of figuring it out. Whatever. The next day, our card was charged in full, which will be disputed.

These people hurt children without hesitation. Go look at their Yelp reviews. A ton of one-star reviews. That says it all. They have a lot of five-star reviews, too. There's 4.8 stars here. Elena, one star. I called to see if they had a Black Panther because my son is obsessed, which they let me know they did.

I told them I would call them back because I was shopping around. They harassed me for two weeks. And when I had no choice but to call them back, no one else had him, in parentheses, they booked me. Once booked, they kept calling me. For what? The day arrived and they sent the most unenergetic, unenthusiastic individual to

play Black Panther. He's like, what's up, kids? Hey, guys. Black Panther. You know what I mean? Oh, you know, all that shit. Whatever. Hey, can I smoke out here? Is it cool? His suit was baggy. They couldn't even provide the muscular costume.

All bad. He gave a skinny ass, just a skinny Black Panther. He's like, I've been sick lately, man. I just got over. Kimberly, one star. Yeah. I would give zero stars, but it wasn't an option. We get that.

First off, the character we booked. First off, the character, 45 minutes late to the party, then proceeded to leave after staying for half the amount of time we paid for. The character was clearly new and had no idea what to do. They arrived at our front door without the character's head on. You can't do that. Which is dream crushing for a young kid. Well, at that point, it's over. Just over just go home well so much for this shit jesus the costume was super mediocre and although the character was able to dance he had to hold on to his head the entire time to avoid it falling off

that's hilarious when you watch a mascot at At the Renegades games, you see the poor raccoon doing that, and you're like, oh, you poor bastard. You're not good at this yet. No, I cannot be any clearer. Do not use this company. This company is run by clowns. Okay. Nice try. I have no idea how there are so many positive reviews here.

I will never use them again. Okay, there's a couple here, that'll be the wrap up here. This one is long. One star. The worst company ever. Ever. I had high ever. Yeah, they murdered my children. They came over, slaughtered everybody and then raped their little corpses

with a giant dildo toy thing. That's the worst company ever. That would be the worst company ever. Someone who sent you someone else's semen in the in a butthole that's a bad company that's a bad one that's the worst company that's the worst i had high hopes because my family booked them in the past we booked them for my son's birthday party they arrived late to the venue that seems to be a recurring theme and had to perform everything while dinner was being served took about 15 20 minutes to set up and rushed everything into 30 minutes.

We paid for an hour of service and paid extra for an additional character. There was not enough time to serve cake or coffee because we went over our venue rental. So quick birthday song and we packed everyone cake to go. What do you look like? That sounds like an Oscar for parents. That's like, yes yes in and out we celebrated get out here you go get the fuck out there's your cake thanks for the present woody looked like his face was lopsided and poor buzz walked with his costume too small walked in with his costume too

small looked like he literally flew through space for his late arrival and there is great look at the costume though look at the picture. It's like... Oh! His tramp stamp will be out. And look at the legs, too. It's just... It's like a six-foot-three dude. They gave him a costume

for, like, a five-foot-six guy, and they're like, oh, shit. It's really fucking funny. From ribcage to hip, it's all out. It's all out. It's a bare midriff Buzz Lightyear.

It's like 2001 Britney Spears is playing Buzz Lightyear. Very slutty Buzz Lightyear. What's up with that? It's Halloween. I don't know what I'm going to be this year. I'm going to be like maybe like a devil, a slutty devil, or like slutty Buzz Lightyear is hot right now, I think. I'm going to use that. I'm going to be that.

His whole navel is out. That's fucking wild. His belly and back was showing. The pants kept falling, so he kept picking them up. My guests were laughing hysterically, wondering what knockoff sight we booked them through. Buzz has a belly button? Look at that. This is wild.

It's pierced. Okay. The clown slash woman in charge. I don't know if she was actually a clown. You have to be more specific here. She could have actually been in a clown regalia. That's fucking incredible. Was apologetic.

This picture. We've got to use that on social media because it's wild. It's good for him, though. He's got a great midsection. He looks anyway looks way better than me i see belly hair and you can see his underwear like it's fucking wild at least it's flat wow that's amazing the clown slash woman in charge was apologetic however seemed frustrated as well that the that the company booking the parties is the reason to blame and encouraged

us to call and complain. However, you should call my boss. Not me. We don't have the right sizes for these guys. Fuck it. Just take the small one. What are you? Hey, Bobby took the fucking large. I get the large. He's gonna have

his hanging the fuck off of him and mine's too fucking small now. Hey, tell Bobby he's a fucking asshole when he gets back to the office, all right? These kids see my belly button today, we're going to have words. This is bullshit. These fucking kids be sticking their fingers in there. Hey, Buzz Lightyear, now I look like a fucking asshole in front of all these people. Look, Buzz Lightyear's a plumber. Thanks a lot.

Thanks. Why don't I just be Mario? Because that would make sense. You know what I mean? I'm bending over. So good. Oh, my God. So no one's picking up their phone calls.

It's a shame, and we'll never book with them again, and we'll tell our family and friends not to either, we assumed. The person we dealt with was Christian, and he did not even reach out to apologize for the inconvenience and for cutting our one-hour party contract with them short. Okay, last one here. One star from Brandy. Awful experience. Really?

Yeah. They were more than a half hour late. And it's then, not them. I went with the less popular. Then a half hour late. And they stayed only 45 of the 90 minutes they were supposed to stay. It seems like policy because that's how it goes. I think that's how it goes is like a psychiatrist, you pay for an hour, you get 50 minutes.

Here, you pay for them to set up for the next client. Here, you're paying for like drive time to the next gig i feel like is what you're paying for there um they did not make my daughter feel any more special than the rest of the guests well she's the birthday girl they didn't like yeah they didn't make prop her up and say she's magical and perfect everything they did was rushed and their idea of entertaining the kids was to have them poke and prod the adults. I don't know what that means. Yeah. Fuck with your dad. Hey, look at your dad's ass cracks, Joan.

Go put your finger in it. All right, good. I didn't realize Buzz Lightyear talked with a Bronx accent, but he does. Weird. The worst. I went on Bad Moms of Westchester, the biggest bad moms group going. Okay, we have got to get into that. I want in. Because I

want to be part of the Bad Moms Westchester group because I guarantee you there'll be some threads that we can just read on this show and they'll be amazing. Is it on Facebook? Where is that? I don't know. I'm looking it up when we're done here though because I saw that and I was like, my fingers started shaking when I read that. I was like, oh, God, I need to

know what that is. The biggest bad mom's group going and put my review on there, and it's T-H-E-I-R there. The amount I was charged and what I was provided was disgraceful. It was a zero star for me, but I had to put a star for

the rating. Wow, Buzz Lightyear really did her wrong man that is fucking wild so that is people's stupid opinions for this week oh my god and baby pedophile penises and fucking national parks and of course your lower back buzz lightyear's belly button bear midriff next week we're gonna start out with Midriff. Next week we're going to start out with, because we're going to be hungry, we're going to kick it off next week with a Burger King in Vegas that has 2.8 stars on Google, which will be, it's incredible. How?

They challenge customers to fights. It's amazing. Don't miss next week, everybody. Come back. We'll lead off with that, I promise. Make sure to follow us on social media. Definitely follow the groups as well. You can get in on those. People leave their own

reviews and do all sorts of fun shit on there. Do that. Hang out with us. ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com is the website. Listen to our other two shows, Small Town Murder and Crime and Sports, which are true crime comedy. Be nice on your reviews. That said, always check the anus the anal cavity

for someone else's semen that said thank you so much everybody have a good one Follow Your Stupid Opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.