Your Stupid Opinions - Disgrace To Elvis, Love Stencils, Storage Wars, Safe Nature
Episode Date: July 8, 2024This week, we check out some crazy reviews about Graceland, which people say is an insult to Elvis. A self storage facility that is either heaven, or a terrifying & frustrating post apoca...lypse. A personal item that allows you to be a little artistic with your downstairs. A beautiful state park, with just a little too much nature & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions.
Hey!
Hello there.
Thank you so much for joining us.
My name is James Petragallo.
I got my co-host over here.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you for joining us.
We have some fun today, fun fun stuff.
We're going to go to an iconic, well an icons landmark let's say.
Oh. Yeah, we got a fun personal item. Not very gross icons landmark, let's say. Oh.
Yeah, we got a fun personal item,
not very gross this week, so that's fun.
Oh, terrific, yeah.
We got all sorts of good stuff laid out for us here.
We gotta find a place to put our shit,
we'll find that, let's do it.
So before we get started,
we definitely would like to tell you
to follow us on social media.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'll follow all that stuff,
you can even join the Facebook groups and everything
because people seem to have a ball in there.
So that said, let's get started.
Here we go.
I can't wait, I gotta get right into it.
Let's do it.
We are going to Memphis, Tennessee.
Oh, we're gonna go to Graceland?
We're going to Graceland, Jimmy.
Hey!
There we go, we're going to Graceland.
It's foreclosed and we can go.
We can go there.
I have never been to Graceland
because I don't give even the slightest
inkling of a fuck about Elvis whatsoever.
Don't care. I've been there.
Yeah, oh you have, you've been to Graceland.
I didn't go inside, I saw the front of it.
Oh okay, that's so.
I got a drob by.
I found out that it costs money.
I was gonna say, you went to the white trash mecca.
You went to the white trash mecca
and then played it in the most white trash way possible.
Just getting a sniff of it.
The free version.
Getting a sniff of it and then going on by.
Yeah, I was told it cost money to go in
and I was like, well no.
It's expensive I think too here.
Yeah, it is.
It's a news I found out.
People have a lot of complaints.
I feel like $80 a person.
Yeah, to do the whole. It's whole fucking steep to do the whole spiel
It says here on the site actually that it's $25
Oh, but I don't know how that works there may there may be a there may be tears and versions of tours that you can take
That are cheap possibly 25 gets you on the property and then you go in the house. Yeah, 80 lets you see the bowl where he died.
80 takes you to see his pill collection.
This is what he did, like his rattler there with his days of the weekend.
Elvis's rattler. From Monday through Sunday. Grace lands a mansion on a 13.8 acre estate in Memphis, and from what I understand, not
the best neighborhood either.
No, but it's fucking, it's right in the city.
How you get 13 acres right in, that's amazing.
Well, I mean, so long ago too.
Yeah, they probably bought it in the 60s, right?
I would think, yeah, I think he bought it right after yeah because he had another place I think it was like 69 or 70 or
something I saw a thing about it based just to do this so either way here he is
it is the address is Elvis Presley Boulevard no number even Elvis Presley
Boulevard Memphis Tennessee you know what one it is you know it's the only
large house there it's very easy to find I I'll tell you, I'll say that. Very.
Let's see here.
Steve gives it five stars.
If you're an Elvis Presley fan, this is a must.
Yeah.
The whole feeling was amazing.
Was it?
This guy just exhilarated by the feeling of Elvis in the air.
Just the ghost.
Visited his grave too.
Tip.
Be there outside the gates at 7.30
and beat the crowds for clear photos without too many people.
This guy's getting up at the crack of dawn.
To see a grave, he got the spirit in him.
Holy shit, man.
Stayed at the Elvis Presley Guest House Hotel.
Very clean, nice stay.
Yeah, I saw that on there too.
We went on to see his shotgun shack in Mississippi to include
What his shotgun shack? There's the famous picture of the house Elvis grew up in and to below there
Is that what it is a shotgun shack?
Shotgun shot just looks like a shitty little house. Yeah about a shotgun shack
I think a shotgun shack is like, you know where the Clanton's from tombstone
Like hold up
outside of town while they plan their next heist or some shit.
So Elvis keeps his 12 cages all of them. All of them including Sun Recording Studio
the RCA studio B all worth seeing. As said if you're a fan these are a must
highly recommend. This guy's got pictures of a pink Cadillac here. Yeah, Elvis's
Cadillac and the house itself and you know, yeah, he's got like I saw his gold plated one at at the
Country music Hall of Fame that's much cooler than any fucking car I've ever seen
He's everything that was chrome on it was all gold plated. It was fucking beautiful. That's fucking hilarious
That is so that's so hilarious
Just the trashiest thing no no looking at music
It's funny that like cars that old people who love Elvis are like these fucking rappers with their goddamn flashy bullshit
Elvis had a gold fucking cat. What are you talking about?
Have you ever seen an old cowboy they're covered in rhinestonesestones. They look like a fucking... They look like a...
They got livestock horns on their fucking hood!
Yeah!
Well, it looks like they're wearing a junior prom dress with fucking...
Made in...
Yeah, I saw Porter Wagner's fucking suit. It had like carpeted cactus from like wrist to shoulder.
It's like, what are we talking about? A rapper's flashy?
This is fucking absurd.
And then all around the carpet was fucking Ryan Stump.
He's wearing a sports-ski fucking suit.
Yeah, classy, real classy, you're right.
Entirely different, sure.
Michael gives it five stars.
This is a must for any Elvis fan. For those who don't know much about Elvis go anyway. I don't like Elvis. I don't care
Get in there get in there look at his car. You made them $80
You will learn so much about him walking into the mansion is like walking back in time
You expect to see Elvis walk down the stairs at any moment. No you don't
You fucking idiot.
How terrifying would that be?
Ah!
That would be horrible.
You have holes all over the place.
Oh my gosh.
Jesus, you look terrible.
He's no worse.
Either he's a ghost or imagine what he looks like now
because he wasn't looking great in the late 70s
when he died.
He's lost a lot of weight.
Yeah.
Just a skinny old droopy Elvis with thin hair.
Nobody wants to see that.
The new exhibits across the street are great.
There is so much on display.
More than ever before.
Oh, they got more?
How do you get more Elvis stuff?
That's where to come from.
There's only so much.
They're not making more.
No.
Joseph gives one star.
All right. He's not happy here. No. $ gives one star. All right, he's not happy here.
$82 each to see the mansion is insane.
That's a lot of money.
Those are Disney prices.
You know what I mean?
There better be a ride.
I didn't see a pirate in the Caribbean in this motherfucker.
There better be several like Elvi walking around all dressed up.
Better be a lot of shit going on.
All of them are dained, ready to marry you on the spot.
That's the important part.
You could do three museums, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Country Music Hall of Fame Museum
with loads of Elvis memorabilia
and the Civil Rights Museum for $20 less total.
He's done all of them.
He's done them, wow.
This guy is well-schooled and versed on his museums. done all of them. He's done them. Wow. He's really this guy is well schooled
and first on his museums. A lot of research. The parking says you can get a $10 discount
on the gift shop but it's not even the official one. I don't know what that means. Official
gift shop. Who gives a shit? Who cares? $ dollars to park, more expensive than the city center.
We didn't go in the end as it was too expensive.
Such a shame.
So you said all that, but you didn't even go in.
You just said it's 82 dollars.
Your review should have said 82 dollars was too expensive and I didn't go.
So I don't know why I'm leaving this review.
Why say anything?
Why say anything?
He said all of that and then said, we didn't in the end, we didn't even go.
I didn't even go.
Wow this person even crazier listen to this Carol one star okay here we go drive 2 000 miles
so this person okay keep this in mind this person got in the car and drove had to be from the west coast to get all the way yeah from Oregon Washington or California it's I mean presumably
let's say they drove they got in in the car in Portland and they drove
to Memphis, which is quite the trek.
That's a few days.
That's three at least.
Then they wanted $10 only to park.
You just drove 2000 miles.
Who cares?
I bet they said that.
I drove 2000 miles.
We decided not to spend the hundred dollars for tickets.
We pulled off on a side street where there was no one in order to look at our maps and we were
chased away from there by a woman in a security woman uniform, hence the ten dollars just to park.
We just came from London Abbey Road Studios, let them in for free and make a fortune on
souvenirs. I can't see Graceland actually succeeding like this. They drove 2,000
miles and didn't go. Wow! They drove 2,000 miles and then went, no, too expensive.
Abbey Road lets people in for free and then you make you make money on a
Beatles t-shirt. That's what they're saying the business model here should be.
Let us in for free and I'll fucking buy shirts. I don't care.
Oh my God. But they didn't even know. They didn't even go in.
They're not even complaining about the price of admission. They're complaining that it
was, they wouldn't even drive in to find out how much it costs.
No, because there was charge to park. Holy shit. 2000 miles. okay. Next, S. Wang here, tickets one star,
tickets are $80 plus tax for a dingy little house
and some airplanes.
I don't think you're going for the splendor of the home.
A dingy little house and an airplane.
That should be on their T-shirts.
Grace, actually we'll make one,
because we made the Grand Canyon mid,
we're gonna make Graceland.
Dingy little house and some airplanes.
The house is like breaking down and decomposing.
It's gonna be a shotgun shack from Tupelo.
That's what we're gonna put on it.
And a couple of broken planes.
Oh my God.
The next line's even better though.
No offense to Elvis.
It's only his house and his, you know.
Sorry, E, they're letting it go to shit.
Yo, E-dog, your house ain't shit, son.
I'm just letting you know, just saying.
Oh my God, a dingy little house.
And some airplanes.
For Snowa still lives there, man.
Calm down, you're talking about her joint.
She's like, yeah, I'm trying to remodel the kitchen right now, but we got a whole thing
going on with the trust.
It's very complicated.
Holy shit.
If you really cared about Elvis, you should, that's a confrontational line.
If you really, if you gave a fuck about Elvis, man, tears streaming down her face.
If you really cared about Elvis, you should visit the Sun Studio.
Graceland is a tourist trap.
Well, it is his house. That's
what I mean. There's not a lot of people, there's not a lot of stars that people love where you can
go visit their house that they lived in and walk around. That doesn't happen very often, you know?
Can't go walk around Frank Sinatra's house. No, you can't go to fucking Michael Jackson's and
he's dead and gone. Oh god, yeah, Jesus Jesus the people who run Graceland don't care about Elvis
No, of course not. No because Elvis has been dead for almost 50 years. So why the fuck they care about Elvis?
It's a business. I got news for you Elvis didn't care about
Did you look at him? He didn't seem to have a lot of care there
He don't care in a long time ago the only care about they only care about making money over his dead body. I
Picture him laying on a table while they count money over him
Graceland equals land of disgrace. That's a
land of disgrace a dingy little house and some airplanes
He didn't even say disgrace land. He said land of land of disgrace
Holy shit, this is all of goes, not just the disgrace over else.
Jesus Christ, man.
I'm going to skip this one because this guy is just complaining a lot about every dime
he had to spend there, which is very annoying.
It's a cheap dick, yeah.
So let's move on to Kurt, who sums it up in one one sentence what that guy said in like four paragraphs one star
overrated and expensive
The last review took I would say 300 words to say that so to say exactly that to say overrated and expensive
It really has nothing to do with Elvis anymore
Well except that it's his house and all of his shit and his plane and his dead bodies on site and fun
It is a state still owns it And his whole family's buried there
and all those kinds of things.
But otherwise, nothing to do with Elvis.
Has nothing to do with him.
Disappointing.
And this bottle in the men's room saying weird things.
Cheapest thing to see is his plane, $48, parking $10.
Go back to the bottle.
What's the bottle say?
I'm gonna show you this right now.
I was gonna say, now this bottle in the bathroom,
it's a bottle of Purell, as you
can see here.
If you roll over a little more, and then it said there's a sticker on it.
What?
That somebody was having fun.
And it says, for rectal use only on the Purell bottle, which is not, I don't think, put on
there by the staff.
Yeah.
I don't think even Purell cosigns on that.
Nope.
Some kid's mother's a nurse or father's a nurse
and they got ahold of the stickers that say,
for the eye may cause diarrhea for rectal use.
Or they went on Amazon,
and I'm sure Amazon sells those stickers too.
When I was 14, if you gave me a roll
of for rectal use only stickers,
I would have burned through those.
I'd go on everything.
I would have burned through those in three hours.
They'd have been on everything.
They'd have been on half a mile radius.
I'd walk through the grocery store
and just put them on everything.
Everything.
Lucky Charms for rectal use only.
No problem.
I'd run through the produce section
and really have a great time.
Arugula for rectal use only.
There we go.
Tomatillos, everything.
Everything. Aaron givesillos everything. Everything.
Aaron gives one star.
Graceless land.
Graceless land.
I attended a wedding where our bridal party
was shuttled to an empty and locked building.
When we got inside the building had nobody there
for our scheduled event and no music playing.
You'd think there'd be music there.
Hold on, you're allowed to get married at Graceless?
Oh shit yeah, they'll take your money. Imagine what that costs if it You're allowed to get married at Grace's? Oh shit, yeah.
They'll take your money.
Imagine what that costs if it's $82 to get in.
Jesus Christ, do you want to hang out for a while?
80 bucks to look at it, fuck.
Yeah, to get dressed up.
It's going to be a lot worse.
To get shit hammered there, it's got to be more.
We had over 80 people just sitting in silent empty room waiting for something to happen.
And then when a single employee shows up 45 minutes after our scheduled time, they announce that it's a cash only bar
and the closest ATM is at the hotel,
which we had just shuttled from.
You don't figure that out before you have a wedding?
They were 45 minutes late for their wedding.
That's crazy.
There's a wedding going on.
That's pretty fucked up.
With the hard work of the bridal party,
we made the reception work,
but then we were told to leave an hour and a half
before our agreed upon time in the contract and then when we complied and left
they cancelled all of the agreed upon shovels, uh, shuttles leaving us stranded.
Now get out!
Oh my!
Walk!
Now stand in the driveway!
Yeah that's right, take your heels off and hold them bitch, that's what I'm talking
about.
Stand there!
Fellas, walk home in your rented ass shoes that you only worn once in your life
and don't know how to walk in.
Whole bridal party with big ugly dresses and bare feet
walking down the driveway of Elvis's house.
Cut up feet.
Oh my god, probably not the first time
that happened at Elvis's house, I'm sure.
Probably not, yeah.
Our party had physically impaired family members
who had to use a wheelchair, and the Graceland team left us to walk all the way back to where we were picked up from after dark.
We ended up having to shuttle our party back one carload at a time so that Graceland could divert staff from our event to a soap opera convention.
Oh my god. They will ruin your wedding without a second thought. Holy shit. Yeah, it's not their wedding, they don't care.
They don't care.
I'm not getting married, fuck you.
No.
Valerie one star, the house tour was pretty cool
and they did have some really awesome artifacts,
but multiple staff members were so rude
and like you were such a problem being there.
Yeah, they were convenient for us.
You were in their house.
The ticket person charged me for my four year old
which was supposed to be free, which was.
Not who was, which was.
Then started arguing with me, saying I told her youth,
I told her youth I explained I said four-year-old.
I don't know what that means.
To which she got her eyes, to which she got up,
rolled her eyes and said whatever.
Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
Jesus.
So disrespectful when I did was super polite.
So disrespectful when I did was super polite.
Alright, this person is so angry they're typing wrong or something.
Yeah, she doesn't know how to do it.
After that I got mad and asked if there was a reason why she was being so nasty to my
family and at this point I got her, who was just as rude as her.
Right.
So there you go. That's that. They're going to be mean to you there, I guess.
Here's the weirdest one I've seen. Shalaya, one star.
So terrible in so many ways and disappointed with myself that I went.
Oh, I did this to me. Taking it up. I like it.
Not even mad at them. This one's saying, I love when they take it on the chin. Like, listen, I went here. I did this to me. Taking it up. I like it. Not even mad at them. This one say I love when they take it on the chin like listen I went here. This is first of
all. I did this to myself. I should know. Seventy five dollars to get into the house
and they charge ten dollars parking on top of that. It's all a money grab for no quality
of museum. The staff isn't just terrible they're downright mean well so is Elvis so what do you want you know just carrying on tradition the house is not kept well and looks
seriously run down it's all weird Elvis obsession storyline yes that's the point
of the fucking place the man died there what do you want you know why I don't go
to Graceland because I don't give a shit about Elvis And you know what? I think they're gonna have a whole bunch of shit about Elvis
You go to Graceland to learn about Pixar, what are you doing? Oh man the FDR museums up the road from my house
We've gone there before and I never said like a lot of shit about FDR, right?
weird
Overwhelming amount of just Delano Roosevelt.
There's his desk, yeah we get it.
His desk, his car, yeah I get it, he lived here.
I mean, put some other people in here.
Nothing about Post Malone in here, what's going on?
Why, I don't understand.
Like what are we talking about?
Why are you only focusing on one president?
Wasn't even the best one.
Jesus Christ.
There were others.
Elvis obsession storyline, with no mention of his drug problems, family issues, and zero
attribution to all the black music here he got his sound from.
It could be really amazing if they got real curators in there and contextualized any info
at all.
This isn't a historical course
This is his house where they're trying to make you think he's the greatest guy in the world
So you'll buy some shit on the way out
That's the leave and buy more albums or shirts or a mug perhaps maybe have some have your morning coffee with Elvis
That's what they want exactly. Oh
Okay
Well a couple more here. One star Logan, I was very excited to see the video of
Elvis's red jet sitting on the property or visiting the property. It's kind of despicable
that the people that run the office wouldn't let Elvis's jet stay there for even an hour.
What's wrong with you people? He didn't get to see the jet apparently. What's wrong with you?
see the jet apparently. What's wrong with you? Oh my god I like this one. One star Mike they lost reservation. Wouldn't give Good Sam discount without card in hand. I had member
number. Employee accused me of not paying for site in a roundabout way. Paying for site?
It's a campground because he said the Good Sam discount. It's a membership for your camping
because they're tourists. They run a there's probably a campground because he said the good Sam discount. It's a membership for your camping because they're tourists.
They run a, there's probably a campground there.
They have an RV that they run around in.
Just like Elvis, this place is dead.
Keep your belongings locked, a rough part of town.
Holy shit.
So yeah, there's a lot of people complaining about the staff and everything like that.
So and then the last one, finally, Paul, one star,
the Graceland Guest House is amazing, that's the hotel.
There are not enough words to describe how great this is.
Elvis's home is amazing.
This is a one star review, by the way.
And we love it.
But the short blonde tour guide is rude.
She disgraces the memory of the King of Rock and Roll.
Elvis has to, and everybody there has to regret
that he threw grace in the name of this.
I was like, Jesus, I really left myself open
for a lot of puns, didn't I?
A lot of disgrace comments on my fucking museum
and historical website.
Jesus.
So this is just a dingy house with some old airplanes.
With some old airplanes.
Since this is so terrible, it's not even good enough
for Elvis's shit. Let's get all of Elvis's shit out of there right now. Let's go do it.
We got nowhere to take. Where are we going to put it? Oh no, it's in a moving truck.
Where do we go? I found a place. Here it is. We're going to the iStorage, self storage.
I put all this shit in there. iStorage. yeah, you do it, it should be called you storage.
You bring your shit here.
In White House, Tennessee.
Where the hell is that?
Which is up northern Tennessee,
way up near the Virginia border there.
Way up north.
But we're still in Tennessee,
so we can bring it from Memphis.
Still in Tennessee, that's why I did this.
So there we go.
This place here has 4.4 stars,
and it offers an active duty military discount, 24
hour video recording on premises and deliveries are accepted so you can do that. Here we go.
Five stars from Billy. Loves it. This place is very nice and safe. That's pretty much,
that should be the end of your review. That's it. Nobody
steals my shit, it's fine. That's where I leave it and nobody takes it.
Yeah. I don't know what people really want from an iStorage. Yeah. And I don't think
they really have the storage joints in a real like, rep, like, there's not a storage lot
next to like million dollar home. No, no. It's going to be in shit neighborhoods.
It's going to be in shit neighborhoods. It's gonna be in shit, yeah.
People who don't have room to store their shit.
Right.
People with money have houses big enough
to store all their shit.
Right.
They're not like sleeping on someone's couch
in between apartments like I've used the storage before.
So if you can take valuable things that you love
and don't want to throw away but don't have room for
to a place and lock them and walk
away and nobody takes those.
That's great.
That's a giant safe deposit box.
It's all you need.
But this person goes on, I've never had any trouble getting to my unit.
Why would you?
What are they going to do?
I did a lot of shopping around and found their prices reasonable.
I usually stop on my way to work or from work to pay right as the fee is due and I'll always received. I'll always received.
I'll always received. That broke my brain right there. I'm like,
did I read that right? Courteously call a few days in advance from Jody. They receive
a call saying just to let you know your fee is due in a few days. They call you a, what
are they, a bookie? Did you fucking...
Send... send the bill? I don't know, man. Send an email.
Yeah! Call me when I'm late, not when I'm coming up on it.
Right on time.
That shows you that just the class of people that use this particular iStorage. Jodie said
you gotta remind them ahead of time or they won't remember.
Or how far behind Jodie is on her fucking bills that chair is to make sure that these things are paid on time Jody's a guy by the way as we'll find
Okay, yeah, Jody and Jody is the most beloved person here
So many businesses nowadays have terrible customer service my experience with him. I've been great. I've been great
Well, I think have is what he was going for. Yeah, Ive is what came out there.
Thank you so much and I will be recommending iStorage to my friends.
Okay.
Everyone's always asking for storage recommendations.
Where can I go to put my shit?
I don't know, buy some place.
Anybody know a place?
I don't know.
There's every place you see with a bunch of lockers there.
There's those big slide-up doors.
Anne gives it five stars.
Jodie went above and beyond to be courteous and helpful,
effectively meeting my needs.
Oh, Jodie fucked her too.
Oh boy.
Jodie gave Ann the business.
Yeah.
Jodie went down on Ann, I think, is what happened.
She has needs, Jake.
She's got needs and he met them.
That's what's important.
Steven gives five stars.
Had a little trouble figuring out how to lock our unit.
Apparently a padlock is very complicated for this person.
You have to bring one.
They don't give you one.
They looked at it and went, I don't understand.
How do I lock this?
How do I lock this?
Where's your lock, man?
Well, luckily, but Jody was super helpful in explaining the type of lock needed and benefits
of it versus a standard padlock. Great customer
service.
It's the round ones that you can't cut, man. You've never seen storage lockers before?
What are we talking about? I'm sure Jody was happy to sell you that lock as well.
Right. $35.
So what was going on? What made them go out and get that wonderful Jody that's now there
saving the world? Well, apparently this place was a shit show till Jody showed up.
Really? Jody got it in ship shape.
Here's one from a couple years earlier before Jodie came in. Scott giving one star.
This place has turned into a nightmare. It's a storage unit. How bad could it be?
What's going on? They had an amazing property manager named Amy. She went above and beyond
for both the property and the tenants.
She left for a better job.
Can't blame her.
Yeah, which is any other job probably.
All right.
Well, you live on site and that sucks.
That sucks, man.
Yeah.
And you can always smell the people when you smell living quarters when you walk into the
office.
But by the same token, Simply Self Storage was hiring in new, inexperienced people, in new, inexperienced people,
it's a weird way to put it,
for more than she was making as a property manager.
Okay.
They replaced her with a girl named Katie.
In no time, the place has gone to pot.
Literally and figuratively to pot.
The property is a mess, which it was always presentable
when Amy was there.
The restroom is a disgusting mess.
You need to shit at the self-storage, really?
Yeah.
Go home.
How long are you there?
You put things in or you take things out and you leave.
That's it.
You hanging out there?
I want to go down there and visit my stuff for a while,
have a couple of drinks. Corpses that you're storing and you need to visit my stuff for a while. Have a couple of drinks. Corpse isn't that you're storing
and you can visit them for a while?
I keep grandma in there and, you know,
let's see, this Katie, this Katie, I love that.
This Katie.
This Katie always has her, for some reason in quotes,
friends hanging around with her.
Yeah, they stay at her place sometimes.
Yeah, that's where she lives.
Her son driving around by himself in the golf
cart on the property.
That's his yard.
That's why he lives there.
He's having a good time.
I myself have been renting there since the original owner built
the place.
Since simply self-storage took over,
my rent has more than tripled.
And Katie has told me I can expect another raise in my rent within the next couple months, which will more than quadruple where my rent
started from."
They don't say how long ago this was.
This could have been 1974.
We have no idea.
And it could have gone from $4 to $16.
No clue.
In a nutshell, Simply Self Storage knows they have you by the short hairs.
What?
He uses the short hairs. What? He uses the funnest phrase.
This guy is all about and they got you by the short and girly.
Yeah, this is a,
this is a guy that you just sit and let him have a monologue about whatever he's
doing. You go, uh huh. Wow. Really? Got you by the shirt.
Get your shit and bring it somewhere else. They don't have you by anything.
That's too expensive. Take your lock off and take your shit and go. And they're going to abuse their customers to the best of their ability.
Wow, I don't understand this. They put a person in a position of power that only cared about
getting her 40 hours. It's a self-storage place. What do you want from these people?
She lives there.
Yeah. She and her kid found a place to live that didn't cost them money.
And get paid.
And get paid, yeah.
The property or her customers, doesn't care.
When I have asked to have something, a light bulb, to be replaced, repaired, she rolled
her eyes at me and said, yeah, sure, still not fixed.
In the past, I've literally paid fees on top of my rent to avoid going there on the
days Katie was working. Jesus, now I'm forced into a position of having to deal with her. Due to
the fact that I have a business and this is where I have my equipment, I have no choice
but to stay where I'm at for now, but I highly recommend that if at all possible, avoid this
place.
Yeah, I didn't even think about that I guess. People have like cleaning equipment and shit
that they keep in there and they can pick up that's true. They probably got all their stuff
They probably come in multiple times a day to get it to drop off
Yeah, run their business out of their house, and they just keep all their equipment. That's fun
Yeah
I know a guy had a carpet cleaning business and he had like a self storage that had a bunch of
Cleaner things if you had all if you had your whole livelihood every equipment you piece that you have that
Keeps your life going in a storage place wouldn't you want a kid on a golf cart?
Fucking patrolling all day. That's a great a child. I don't think he's patrolling but who cares?
I don't really give a shit. He has a mouth and a phone
He could probably call the police if somebody's fucking off again. I have a door with a lock unless something happens to that
I don't really give a fuck what happens around it. You know what I mean self storage these people have way too high a standards for self
storage yeah it's self it's just a fucking garage thing that's it room for
you to push it one star since Amy left this place has become a total disgrace
yeah it's gone it's amazing well they got your hair yeah they got you by the
short hairs man that's why grounds why. Grounds look terrible.
The new manager, Katie, doesn't care about the tenants.
This Katie is a problem.
It's just a place for her and her friends to hang out, you know, because she lives there.
I wish I could post a video that I have of what she was doing.
Children riding around on the golf cart.
Deplorable.
Avoid at all cost. I don't know if Katie, you know, Katie's doing her best probably I think here.
Renee one star, save yourself the headache and just go literally anywhere else.
The side of a busy interstate is looking better than this place to store my belongings.
No it's not.
Your hyperbole is weird.
The side of the interstate. I do like in a hotel when they're like, the side of the road
is preferable to sleeping.
I understand that. This, you're going to throw all your shit sitting in that safe or stop
it?
No. There's no bugs in your car is why you say that. It makes sense. I paid for a unit
online three days ago and still have yet to be able to physically lay eyes upon it.
Oh no. online three days ago and still have yet to be able to physically lay eyes upon it.
No employee is ever at their office during business hours to let me into my unit or give
me the gate code.
There was no problem whatsoever taking my money for rent but three days later and probably
at least seven trips to the place and I still have not got to see the storage unit that
I have purchased.
You may not have one.
I was going to say seeing it isn't the, it's not like you purchased it to look at like
a piece of art.
You want to put your shit in there.
She's like, I got a U-Haul full of my shit still.
Mary Jo gives two stars.
This is the most bonkers shit ever.
It's not the facility itself that was rated two star.
It's the fact that they are letting an honest, not dishonest, unhonest, unhonest people do business, do is DUE by
the way, do business out of this facility such as selling fraudulent mattresses.
They're fake mattresses? What's a fraudulent mattress? You go to pick it up
and it disappears? That's the only way it looks like a mattress. It's a fraudulent mattress you go to pick it up and it disappears that's the only way it looks like a mattress it's a mattress it's a regular mattress and with sharpie they wrote
sealy on it they wrote serda fucking posture pedic yeah sleep number and there's like a like a
universal tv remote control duct tape to it there you go go. It's your sleep number remote. And then she starts eating number seven written on it. This one's a seven.
Oh boy. Shame on you. I didn't know you could do that iStorage self storage. Good job. So
there's a response from the owner here. Hello, Mary. We're sorry to hear that you have had
difficulty with another customer. iStorage is not in the business of selling mattresses to our customers and would love to hear more from you. somebody
showed up there and had a bunch of mattresses and was trying to sell them to people who
had places that they were like we didn't like a fucking it's not our merch shop.
This is a nice storage mattress it's a real nice one. It's our own brand.
Our own shit. Brandon, one star, been here for about five years or so and have had a
lot of issues with one of my units while going through a divorce.
Uh oh. He's got a... He has several.
And the funny thing is the divorce plays into this review a lot, by the way.
Oh, I love it. He didn't just say, well, going through a
divorce. Now here's what's wrong with my unit.
Yes, bitch. They pretty much allowed my ex-wife in to take everything I owned
What and then I couldn't do anything about it because it was already done. Oh
Change to a different unit just for them to keep raising the prices off who cares about that they let your
to keep raising the prices up. Who cares about that?
They let you out.
Did she have a key?
An unauthorized person come in and steal all your shit.
I mean, if she had a key, that was on you.
Otherwise, I don't know.
Oh my God, and finally I just got my stuff out of there
and left.
What stuff?
Do you have any left?
Your baseball card collection that she didn't take?
The scraps she didn't take.
Only the commons, too.
She took the good ones.
She left me with the shoelaces but no shoes.
Never again will we be back there.
She took the ice trays. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice trays?
Okay, so we have gone to Graceland. We were disappointed, obviously.
Just a dingy house, some airplanes. All of our shit got taken by our ex-wife out of our storage unit.
I just need some peace and beauty at this point.
Calm down. Let's calm down. Let's go to a park. our ex-wife out of our storage unit. I just need some peace and beauty at this point. Right?
Let's calm down, let's go to a park.
A nice park.
Let's go to the Mayo River State Park
in Rockingham County, North Carolina.
Mayo River?
Mayo River, which sounds like the most disgusting thing
I've ever heard.
Imagine that.
Why would they do that?
I don't care if the man's name is Mayo.
I think that's my nightmare, a river of mayonnaise.
I think I couldn't sleep if I saw that forever.
It's a slow flow.
It's very slow.
It moves slow.
Bubbles and churns and farts and shit.
Slides over the rocks real slow.
All the rocks are real greasy, oily.
So yeah, this is at 500 Old Mayo Park Road in Mayo-Dan, North Carolina.
This is, it's kind of by the Virginia, it's off in the east part, but yeah, up in the
northern part.
2778-acre park along the Mayo River, which adjoins a Virginia State Park that has the same name
So it's right across the border then yeah goes right across the border
And I'll show you a couple pictures here because this is pretty nice. It's got to be amazing. It's beautiful
There's a big look at the rock water. Oh
Yeah, show you these up here look at that water. How do you mean?
It's pretty not have a nice day there check out out the trail in the woods there. Jesus, it's all green.
It's a wide trail too, like well marked and it looks like easy to walk through.
And yeah, the uneven part has like stumps for steps.
That's a nice addition to your trail.
It's pretty nice.
So let's find out what people think here because it looks beautiful.
I like a place like this.
Well, Rita gives it five stars.
She's got a lot of reviews on here too, Rita. She said, Rangers are very knowledgeable
and friendly. Hiking trails are well marked with trail markers and easy to read and understand
signage. Bathrooms are clean. Parking lot was easy to get in and out of. Great. Shit, this
place sounds like a great place, aside from the mayonnaise flowing freely. It sounds great. Mark gives it five stars. I come from New Hampshire. Oh boy. So he knows
the high bar to clear. He knows the woods. Oh boy. And this tiny North Carolina park
reminds me of our New England woods. There you go. That a boy. He loves it. Located on
the edge of the Virginia border, but easily accessible in less than an hour from Greensboro, it's not fancy nor wildly exciting, but it's amazingly satisfying
and relaxing. Yeah, it's a chill place you go. A short hike through beech trees takes
you to a brook that spills over rocks creating a small but scenic waterfall. It's particularly
nice with the autumn foliage, though I'd love to see it in the spring when the water is high.
The air is cool and refreshing. The only amenities are a few picnic tables near the parking lot.
Well, it's nature, so I don't expect amenities. Parking lots are fine. They have a bathroom. Amazing.
We visited on a holiday weekend and only saw one other car there, so I'm guessing that this state park is an under-the-radar secret. Fine by me.
That's great! Fucking incredible! You have this whole place to yourself, practically. one other car there, so I'm guessing that this state park is an under the radar secret, find by D.
That's great.
Fucking incredible, you have this whole place
to yourself practically, you're not gonna see people
if there's only one other people in the woods
at almost 3,000 acres.
Okay, next up, one star, SR.
This person doesn't really want that guy to be here.
As we'll find out.
He wishes he could have the whole thing, huh?
No, no, no, he's particular people he doesn't want here.
One star.
For y'all who don't want to pick up your trash,
and for those who like to take rocks
and move rocks around the park,
dot, dot, dot,
there ain't no reason to take anything
and you leave only footprints.
Okay.
Don't come here if you don't know how to be.
Four exclamation marks how to be
Then this one just stay away Yankees
Okay, okay. How about this suck my cock you fucking hillbilly asshole. How about that?
Yeah, I won't James. You don't know how to be you don't know how to be
Fuck you
Guess what stay away Yankee stay away Yankees
Wow, I don't know anybody north of the Mason Dixon stay up
I mean and people from up here fucking move down to these places because they don't want you there to put up with this
Shit, I can't imagine
Just stay away Yankee Yankee
I'm telling you you don't understand. I've been down there. They do you don't know the fucking I've gotten you I told you this
I have gotten fucking messages that say to start out dear Yankee Guinea
I have gotten those fucking men and not a joke not ha ha ha
Yeah, like a grass serious. Yeah, fuck you like holy shit. What the fuck?
dumb thing
Yankees just stay away Yankees
We know it's y'all doing it because your grandma's gave us home training
What the fuck because our grandma's our grandma's gave us home training
We know it's y'all doing it because they one in the South has moved shit around, that's
why.
Because their grandmas taught them better.
Everyone in the South was raised the exact same way.
Yeah, everyone in the South was raised by their grandparents.
Where's your parents, you fucking weirdo?
Yeah, how come your parents didn't teach you shit?
Were they killed in the Civil War? From a moonshhine still explosion where they killed at Antietam what happened you fucking lunatic and with the influx of
Transplants come to the in come the influx of trash
Litter and moved rocks everywhere
Why do you think the world and its nature needs your interference? It doesn't.
This is crazy.
This has a reminiscent feel of the Unabomber Manifest.
That's what I mean. This is fucking insane. It doesn't. And we got no use for most of
you. Y'all left your misery to run from yourselves? Four question marks. Y'all make no sense.
You're not making much sense.
You make no sense?
First of all, you can't, in one paragraph,
you use the word y'all like 46 times.
You're over fucking using y'all, number one.
I get that you want to show how southern you are,
but you sound like a fucking moron.
Hey.
Here's another thing.
I live in the desert southwest, and I love offroad and backwoods-y out in the desert
shit.
Guess what's out there?
Lots of moved rocks and trash.
You better not move them.
We're nowhere near the...
Don't move your rocks.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I'm sorry, I just find that insulting a bit, the whole thing.
And this person sounds like a moron.
So it's like if I'm insulted by someone who sounds half intelligent I
might go maybe they got a point you sound like an idiot so that I just want
to go there and move all your fucking rocks around now how's that Jimmy and
yeah but y'all make no sense days while he makes zero oh god next time we go to
North Carolina to do live shows we are 100% going here and we're doing nothing
but moving rocks we're just gonna every fucking going here, and we're doing nothing but moving rocks.
We're just gonna, every fucking rock we pick up,
we're gonna move them around, everything.
He's gotta be talking about those people
that go and stack rocks, it's those fucking like,
have you seen them?
People love to like make a stack of rocks
that don't stack together, and they'll have a big one
and a little one, a little one underneath it,
and then little ones on top of the big,
it's really wild to see that the,
all you have to do is just have the straight center of gravity over it,
and they actually balance, and it looks really cool. But people take a picture of a post
on Instagram, then they leave those rocks there. And that's gotta be what he's talking
about. It has to be.
I don't even fucking know, man.
Because it's super out of place, and it looks weird.
I think they just don't like that people from the North have moved here and go to their
park.
He also doesn't like that anybody's around him.
He sounds like the fucking Univommer.
That's exactly what it is.
And my shotgun shack ain't got none of that.
I heard a plane in the woods and I'm furious.
I got my rifle and I'm out there waiting for him to come back.
Jesus, Benjamin One Star, I thought I was going to have fun and take a lot of pictures, but that wasn't the case when I went near the waterfall.
No?
Okay, wonder why.
What happened?
Well, let's find out, because it's fucking wild.
There were many baby leeches attached to my arms and my pants.
I was horrified.
Well, you're in a park in the south, that's what they have there.
I like outside, but without all this nature. Is that possible?
Can you clear any live things?
He didn't get any into the water at all,
and he got leeches on his, he had to get in the water, right?
That's where they're at.
I think near the waterfall.
I think he got in the water to get near the waterfall.
Oh, Jesus.
And didn't realize that he'd be covered in leeches
because it's a...
Ooh, god damn it.
You can't give the park one star
because water has leeches in it though
It's not like they put them in there just to fuck with you
It's like going out there saying I got bit by mosquitoes this place is shit
Yeah, this place sucks
Ryan two stars
DeShazzo mill site used to be a five and I would recommend it now no way
Okay went to the old DeShazo mill site.
About a dozen people swimming, screaming, and yelling.
One group had seven camp chairs stretched across blocking access.
People on the top of the falls with dogs.
Down the trail to the river, there were three other dogs that got in a fight with people
trying to break it up.
Oh my god.
They got in a fight with people?
Or they got in a fight and then people tried to break it up?
I don't know what happened. There was a people fight and the dogs tried to break it up.
That could have been. You know what? That wouldn't surprise me. The dogs might be the
most sensible people judging by a couple reviewers ago there. No kids in it. Oh, sorry.
One couple, this is great. One couple had a three wheel stroller that would fit two
kids side by side no kids in it
It was as wide as the path and took both people to carry it over the areas as we moved off
It's real so they could bet nothing just wheeling it
What well I have no idea that's the point saw a kid eat half a sandwich and throw it in the woods
Okay, well that's by that's I was gonna say gonna say, an animal will eat that in two seconds.
Down the trail, goldfish crackers everywhere.
Again.
Again, it's about degradable.
Fine.
Litter, and four to seven year olds were up and down
both sides of the creek, running through the woods,
no supervision.
Kids enjoying being kids?
Kids being outdoors.
What a piece of shit.
Yeah.
I would rather they play video games.
What are you doing?
Like, there's kids outside enjoying a park and running through the woods.
That's all you want, kids.
Just run around.
Go do shit.
They're doing it.
It's furious.
There's people here enjoying it.
Toddlers eating fucking goldfish.
This place is a mess.
What's next, Teddy Grahams?
Oh, no, don't say it, Jimmy.
Don't say it.
I don't think we can handle it as a society.ios are gonna come through the door. I can't do it
What a disappointment is that is if that is what?
Turning into a state park does because it used to be one thing and they turned it on a state park
Too small of an area for groups to come in set up shop to come and set up shop. How many acres is this?
Yes, 27 room Setup shop to come and set up shop. How many acres is this? Yes?
Not even sure if you're supposed to
Okay This person I think this person gets it
But they only give it two stars two stars for Robert not much to do but just stare at the water
Yep, that's the point the ducks nature. Oh, yeah, that's the point you go there. That's all that they that's the point. You go there and that's all that they have
set up there for you.
It's not gated and roofed and they truck in
live animals for you to look at.
There's no video sphere.
It's not a zoo.
It's none of this.
Elvis's planes aren't here, nothing.
Glenn gives it two stars.
The falls isn't near the main part.
You can't see the river from the many parts
of the park we went to.
This is my least favorite park I've been to.
He wants to see the river no matter where he is.
No matter what.
I'm gonna look around and go, there's the river, I see it.
There it is, I see it.
Okay, then it gets worse.
Bruce, one star, found drug and drinking remnants.
This place needs security.
Let's get bouncers at the park now. It's a park
Maybe they can take care of those leeches while they're at it, too
Or at least some cameras
2,700 acres how are you gonna get how you gonna get the fucking electricity those man?
It's I mean, especially on some of the side roads not so easily monitored because they're in the woods
That's why they're not monitored
Go in there at your own risk or don't that's right
Yeah, as a child years ago. This was a great place now
It may be pretty but attracts a lot of places to make exchanges and uses and that's what stars around
Exchanges for a state river park that will be fine
Exchanges. For a state river park that will be fine, for a state river park that will fine you for going near any of the river areas and doesn't have any such, and doesn't have
any watch out for illegal activities, very well that are obvious if you just look around.
Not safe for kids or families as eventually one of these activities will cost lives.
Oh, there's gonna be a body here eventually.
Yeah, this person wants the woods to be a lot safer.
Yeah, yeah, he needs a guy in a black shirt that says security across the back wandering
around checking what people are doing.
Also too, animals, you want to keep them.
Hey animals, no, no, off the path, people are here.
And a cuff of bear.
That's what you've got to do, you know, they'll fuck, otherwise it could cost lives I think
at this point. William gives it one star.
This is no longer a place I would take my family due to the amount of drinking, drug use, and violence that has occurred there in the last couple years.
Violence? It's a tranquil park with a waterfall.
I'm unable to state how I've obtained this knowledge. Oh boy. I'm unable to state how I've obtained secret sources
they'll kill me if I say so yeah the trees whisper it to me I think is what
he's getting at but I will not take mine or anyone else's family or children here
okay tell everybody yeah I'm not an I'm unable to state like oh my god okay next
up Bonnie one star,
500 Old Mayo River Road is not correct.
That is someone's house.
Oh, the address on my phone.
Yeah, watch out for that.
How many people, you know there's some guy
who just sits outside going,
fucking park is that way, keep going.
This ain't it.
Goddamn Yankees, Jesus Christ.
No trespassing, y'all. Yeah, oh my God. And
then finally Carrie, one star, not impressed. No. That's all. She's just not
impressed. What will impress you Carrie? I think, dude, nothing. Some people
are, it's impossible to impress them. Yeah. But some people are easily impressed and there are
some areas that you can impress upon like shapes and things like that
That'll make sense in a second when I describe to you our personal item of the week. Here we go. Here we go
It is a nine-piece bikini trimmer stencil. Oh
Really? It's to stencil your pubes
No, please drop all sorts of shit. Well Well you gotta let them know that you mean business
Jimmy that's what it is. Let them know you will shank a motherfucker. Absolutely. Nine
piece bikini trimmer stencil for women pubic hair shaver, hair remover, grooming kit, reusable
charging or charming female privates secret intimate shaping tool.ing Tool. Secret Intimate? Secret! What old keywords? It's only $7.99 for this. Wow!
Which that's okay. Package includes you will receive secondary shaving template, seven plus
trimmer shaver one handle. I don't know what that even means. It's a 70s head yeah. Okay the
quantity is enough for your daily use and can meet the desired shape requirements.
Bikini Trimmer Shaver offers a variety of trim options that allow you to shape and trim
easily.
It offers you a variety of different line and edge designs to meet the needs of different
styles and preferences.
For all you non-artistic fucks trying to make a triangle.
Yeah, trying to make a fucking some sort of pub art.
We got a...
A diamond above your coot off.
Fuck, here.
Lightning Bolt seems popular by the reviews.
Really?
Oh, that's cool as shit.
I want to see it.
That's fun, yeah.
That's a good time.
That's some 80s shit there.
Have we got any pictures on here?
They have, not of the pubes, unfortunately, but...
The Pubic Care Shaving is easy to clean and maintain.
You can use warm water and a mild cleaner to clean and then dry.
All right.
So it's used to, in case you don't know, cut unwanted, cut and remove unwanted pubic
hair more easily.
And it says that it is a great tool to improve the quality of sex life for you and your lover.
A lightning bolt will certainly start it.
Won't make your pussy better though, that's the thing.
No.
Or his dick bigger or any of that stuff.
We'll do none of this.
Here's what you get.
All those are interesting.
A triangle, you got a heart, you got like a diamond shape type deal.
Lightning bolt.
Yeah.
What is that?
That's a little landing strip.
Your landing strip, yeah, your skinny landing.
A crescent moon, that's nice.
Oh, that's nice. Lips.
Fucking lips.
Let them know it's an outhouse.
Lips.
And then this, which is just like, I guess,
to shape it into a ball.
That's gotta be the handle to hold it.
That goes into the, that goes into the,
Oh, that goes in there, yeah.
That goes in that little slit in each piece.
And then here's your shaver there.
And then you shave around it, yeah.
I like the lightning bolt, the lightning bolt's cool.
So do other people.
Here's somebody, Jovan Five five stars, love it, is the title.
Makes me feel so confident when I shave
and put on some sexy underwear or a thong.
Yeah.
There you go, see, that's all.
Little French cow.
Tryin' to feel sexy, that's all it is.
Next up, four stars, nice to have a fun design.
That's the title.
Yeah, this was fun to use and was easy to use also.
I like how it comes with so many shapes.
Yeah, it does.
That's all, it's a pub trimmer.
That's $8.
Like, you got it guys, this is it.
It's fucking hilarious.
Okay, next up, this is fun.
Five stars from Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Unique product idea.
By the way, I couldn't, a guy is easily shaved shapes
into his pubes if he wanted to.
Yeah, he's gonna put a heart above it.
That's nice.
Why not?
Well, the picture of is him holding the heart one.
Oh, he did the heart.
Yeah, he did the heart.
Yeah, that's nice.
He said, honestly, before seeing this product listing, I thought the product to do this
on, that's what he's trying to say.
He didn't say that, but that's, I'm going to go ahead and translate for you out there.
Well, Jeremy speak.
Thought of a product to do this had never even crossed my mind.
However, this product is a great idea. It's
easy to use and adds an extra layer of fun to care down there. The handle inserts easily
into the shapes. Okay, I think that's all you want from that. That's great. You did
it. Wow. Here we go. Next up doesn't work two stars. It's a show It's literally a stencil bro. You don't it's not a
Fucking brand you just put it over it and you trim no moving parts
This depends a lot on your skill level also two stars from Celine. It doesn't work
I tried using this product and it does not work. The stencil is too thick and doesn't outline properly
work. The stencil is too thick and doesn't outline properly. What? I saw the shapes. I think she thinks you just like stick it on it and then take it off and then you trim
around the... Lady, you gotta leave it on it and turn around the piece.
Have you ever stenciled the thing as a kid? Have you ever done anything?
It's literally outlining, drawing, it's tracing.
I wouldn't think this product needs instructions.
No, it's very easy.
It's very, there's no moving parts.
None.
Nicholas gives three stars.
A lot of men fucking doing this.
Great idea but poor design.
I purchased this for my spouse so she could get creative.
I'm sure, not because she wanted to.
Like that thing's hideous. Give it a try.
Make your pussy hair in shapes for me, would you? This is... I'm really tired of seeing
what you got going on here. Lightning bolt of heart? I don't give a fuck. Turned out
these are more of a struggle than it's worth to her, so they're sitting in a bathroom drawer
collecting dust. She doesn't care about you. That's why.
Perhaps it's hard for her to do it.
Maybe give her a hand, dude.
Give her a hand, make it a fun thing
that you guys do together.
But I think that he, I think that she's like,
you don't make me come hard enough
for me to do this for you.
You don't go down there to look at it anyway,
you lazy fuck.
Yeah, when was the last time you've been down there?
Describe my vagina right now, describe it.
Can you pick it out of a lineup?
I doubt it.
Ladies, I'm bringing in eight ladies
and we're gonna have a nine vagina lineup
and you're gonna pick it out.
Best of luck, fucker.
Let's do it.
Will the real vagina please step forward?
There it is.
Sasha gives four stars.
Her only, or him or her, I don't know,
the title is size.
And it says stencils are rather large.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Grow it up.
Is that like a small thing?
Yeah.
You wanna, I don't know, yeah.
It's for the whole piece above top.
It's not to like put little hearts around your vagina.
No, that's, yeah, like little tiny ones,
little kiss marks, like you've been, that would be really hard to get into you need a team
Yeah, you need like a you're better off with airbrush and some shit on there. Yeah
Let's see Nicole one star way too big again. These are way too big
Tried to use the lightning bolt and when I shaved around and took it off, it didn't even look like a bolt. It looks like pubes.
Good for you, dear, that you don't have a lot. You can't do this.
Or there's too much and it fell out and the lines weren't nice. Try maybe trimming first
and then doing that.
I got a feeling she's got no bush. It's just a teeny tiny bit.
That might be it. Maybe she's blonde.
This might cover the whole thing. Yeah. Who knows? I appreciate it. She's got no bush. It's just a teeny tiny bit. That might be it. Maybe she's blonde.
This might cover the whole thing.
Yeah.
Who knows?
Turtle gives it five stars.
Oh boy, turtle.
That's from Entourage.
That's what you gotta be.
Spice it up, is Turtle's comment.
They're a little small.
Now they're small.
So they're too small.
Too small.
But I did find out that my girl's bush is not thick and they didn't really work.
I found out.
You just found out?
Hey, you're thinking...
I judge a woman's bush thickness on whether these stencils work on her.
That's all I do.
You know what I mean?
I just say, hey...
I just found out.
Sweetheart, I found out my girl's bush is not thick and they really didn't work.
These get five stars. her hair pie gets to
I could give her no stars if I could give her pussy one star no stars I would
Her hair pie gets to
Turtle sounds like a real fucking charmer. Doesn't he? It's a fun guy
You're hanging on to her turtle I got a feeling the ones that'll be with you are slim pickings
There's not a lot going on there her hair pie
Holy shit Ashley goes five stars. This is so there. Her hair pie. Holy shit.
Ashley gives five stars.
This is so neat.
Yeah, this is great.
I'm going to have even more fun with this and trying out the different stencils.
I did try one and looking forward to trying others.
I will be using my own razor slash clippers versus the razor it comes with though.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's actually recommended.
They give you a shitty little razor. That's probably the problem.
Yeah.
Use your own equipment.
If you get a whole kit of things for $7.99 and it comes with a razor, never use that
razor. It's going to fuck your pussy up.
It's going to fuck your...
You're going to have so many ingrown hairs.
I love it. It's going to you. You're gonna have so many ingrown hairs. I love it, it's gonna fuck your pussy up.
Listen, you're- 799?
Never use anything from 799 on your genitals.
No, never, oh my God, can you imagine that?
No. No.
Okay, so next up, four stars, Kay.
Just a letter. Just a K, yeah.
Too Sexy for My my shorts is the title.
Okay.
Okay.
She's running around naked.
Yeah, you can't do that.
Well you have to if you're shaving your pubes.
I have to show them.
Yeah.
I'm running down to the grocery store, babe.
Wear your pants.
Don't worry about it.
I've got a lightning bolt.
Just girls just want to have fun playing over background.
They're gonna be so impressed.
Definitely need to do this in front of a mirror.
Probably, yeah, I mean you could look down,
but very cute, but I wish the shapes were a bit,
were a tad bit bigger.
Now again, too small.
Again, yeah, right.
This depends a lot on how much pussy canvas you have,
I feel like.
What's your pubic canvas looking like?
Yeah, cause there's, yeah.
I've seen so much in-
There's little big?
Yeah, Playboy's, porno, whatever.
They come in different sizes, man.
Some of it doesn't get all hair.
Some of it just gets a little bit at the top of it.
You know what I mean?
Oh, anatomically too.
Sometimes the body, the-
Yeah, the body that-
It's not as big in that area too.
And then sometimes it's wider, you never know.
So, didn't think the razor was gonna do the job but it did surprisingly sharp I I
did the heart first wish I could share a pic well I kind of do just because it's
hilarious and I want to see they've got dildos on here lady yeah we saw a dog
dick last week yes you put your pubes on here. You can't shock us. That's the thing
We've seen it all guy. This is a
Then she says I think the lips are probably going to be the most difficult
Wait, what she's doing the heart over the whole pussy
She did the heart first and now the lip design. Okay, yeah. Yeah, she's gonna go with the lips
She thinks they that looks difficult. It's very I thought
The lips are gonna be the most difficult how well how hairy are your pussy lips woman, this is weird
If you can stencil your pussy lips, that's a problem I think right I
Have to get too graphic, but you know what I'm talking about.
You should certainly have that looked at.
Oh, I would say so.
And then last but certainly not least, Jamie gives three stars, not FUPA friendly.
You need two hands, and if you're using one of them to hold up your stomach to get access
to seeing your pussy, that's going to be an issue I think is what you say.
That's very funny.
Don't decorate that.
The stencils are so cute and the applicator is super handy. However, if you're plus size and or got a chubby V,
see you don't have to be just plus size, that's what I mean.
Yeah, some people just got a fat plus. She got a chubby V, I don't know what to
tell you. That's how it works. The stencils are not wide enough to really work or be seen.
Be seen, it's lost in a sea of pubes. How chubby is
your V, woman?
All that work and it's just in a vault.
Holy fuck, it's engulfed by more pubes. It's like a wildfire. She has a wildfire of pubes.
It just takes over.
My belly button ate my lightning bolt.
Oh my god.
Holy shit.
Wow.
That's a lot.
The heart especially is far too narrow.
But I do think a few others will work.
Just the heart, which I mainly got it for, didn't end up working on my body type.
Right.
So yes, not football friendly.
I wish she had a sense the humor and would post that
That's what I want to see. I want to know exactly what's going on here because in my mind
I don't know what's happening. I feel like there's just a whole lot of canvas and
Yeah, yeah many shapes
What she should do is on circles
Carve multiple ones in there have all, put all the shapes on there
if you got a lot going on.
Throw a landing strip off center.
No, one of those off to the side, a lightning,
you put a lightning bolt up top
so it looks like it's, you know, weather.
Use the lips like a cloud
with the lightning bolt coming out.
Yeah, you leave some hair like clouds,
then you have a lightning bolt coming out of the clouds.
I think we're onto something here. You have a whole scene going on. Is there like little animals
or kids you can put in there? I like the box, by the way, is a bikini shaving stencil. It's like a
It's a little red heart over her. It's like a sketch drawn woman's body with a red heart on her
vagina. It's fantastic. On wide gynar there. So there
you go everybody. Oh man. Now we know. Graceland be ready to open up your wallet
if you go there. The iStorage, watch out for the kid on the golf cart in the
parking lot. Don't hit him with your car or don't hit him with your car either
you never know. You know do that stuff and then this park, drug deals.
Let's get some bouncers in there first of all for that and then of course, shave up
your pubes.
It's not foopa friendly.
Unless you have a foopa.
So there you go everybody.
It's been a wild day and we've seen a lot and we're here so thank you so much.
If you want more of us then definitely listen to Crime in Sports and Small Town Murderer, our other two shows which are true crime comedy shows, and they're
fucking crazy, so check those out. Also follow on social media, check out all the groups
and shit people hang out, they post stuff, all sorts of shit. So come do that, hang out
with us, go see us. Be online with us, we'll see you there, it's a nice community. We'll
see you there. We won't see you at that park because there ain't no Yankees allowed so
That's it. Thank you so much everybody. We will see you next week Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your
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