Your Stupid Opinions - Fake Magic Crystals, Sweater For The Little Guy, Movie Theater Rumble

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

This week, we hear many wild reviews, including a psychic that gets complaints about her crystals not being quite magical enough. A personal item that is made to warm a part of your body that doesn't really get cold. A restaurant that seems to be satisfied to bring you cold food. A movie theater that may be one big smoking section & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there. Thank you so much for joining us today for more people's complaints and grievances. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman.

We're excited because we love this shit. And I want to- This is the best. We left off last week with a place that apparently band-aids are a pizza topping. So I'm still I'm still leery of pizza after that. I'm just like I need another week I need another week. I think completely flush it out of my system here. So definitely we'll go back to that Luca pizza we're gonna start out with will come in hot and once again though before we do start back to that Luca pizza we're going to start out with. We'll come in hot. And once again, though, before we do start, follow on social media and also listen to our other two shows,

Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are exactly what they sound like. Exactly that. So hang out with us. And also we have to say these are not our opinions, obviously. If we have a review personally, we'll let you know about it. I got no problem telling you. But these are other people's reviews. We're just reading them, don't get mad at us. Here we go. Let's come in hot here with Luca Pizza in Newburgh, New York, across the river from where we are right now,

with Julie here. Julie gives one star, and she says, I called two and a half hours ago, two and a half hours ago. Two. Two and a half hours ago. two and a half hours ago. Two and a half hours ago. I.N.? I.N.

And they still didn't deliver my pizza. By the way, no punctuation at all, so I'm figuring out as I go where the periods are. Then I called and told them my pizza hasn't came in two hours and they gave me an attitude. Well, keep rubbing it. It's all right. And keep an attitude saying they are delivering it right now

and the pizza is cold. Is she saying she got it and it's cold, or they told her, it's coming right now and it's going to be cold? Don't worry. It's ice cold. Don't worry. You're going to have to turn the oven on now, might as well, because you're going to want to heat this back up. It's gonna be cold. Don't worry, it's ice cold. Don't worry. You're gonna have, turn the oven on now might as well because you're gonna wanna heat this back up.

It's really cold. It's been out the whole time. So when it gets to you, gonna be a while. Julissa, which I didn't know was a name, Julissa here, one star, said the waitress had an attitude over the phone. Well how the hell did you know it was a waitress? Could've been the owner for all you fucking know.

Could've been the owner's daughter, could've been the tech person. The wife, person, the manager, the cook, who the hell, it could've been anybody. The waitress had an attitude over the phone, so I came in and she still had an attitude with customers and other employees. Oh, so she's just got toot.

Just a bitchy lady. It is Newberg though, if you've been to Newberg, there's a lot of toot going on out there because it's dangerous. It is a dangerous, Newberg has like the highest murder rate in New York state. Worse than Buffalo, worse than East New York, Brooklyn, worse than Newberg, it's dangerous there.

You had a cousin that lived there, and it was like, if you go to his house, he'd tell you when you leave, don't go down that street, turn here, because they'll carjack you if you go, you'll definitely get carjacked if you go there. They're like, bad place. So she kept giving me different prices on the food, and seemed like she wanted to give me price

with individual tax on it plus tax. She said, and an extra two bucks for me, I guess, was the individual tax. That's a tip, isn't it? The last time I heard in this country, this is my very last time ordering or eating their food. Won't even eat it if someone else has it. Well, we'll take it about the Band-Aids. This is my very last time eating.

The calamari was soggy and overcooked. How is it soggy and overcooked? Yeah, it can't be. That's impossible. If it's overcooked, it's crispy. What the fuck? Soggy and overcooked, nicely seasoned. The shrimp parmesan was nothing but a plateful of spaghetti with breaded shrimps and very little cheese, nicely seasoned. That's what the parmesan is. That's the parmesan's the cheese. And the breading. Yeah, that's kind of a... but you got shrimp. I don't know, whatever. But the side order of grilled chicken was lacking seasoning. So they were complimenting the nice seasoning of everything else, but grilled chicken

lacking seasoning. So very disappointed and no, all caps, garlic knots at 8pm. They're out of garlic knots. They make a certain amount for the day. That's if all the pizza places around here do that. They have a few trays of them. That's what they make. It's got to be hard to make those, right? They're kind of a pain in the ass because you've seen them. You've got to make the dough. Well, you've got to make the dough. You flatten it out. You rub all the shit on it. Then you

roll it all up and cut it into fucking slices. And then you bake it, and it takes a while. It takes a bit, yeah. So they make them at the beginning of the night, and then they have them for the rest of the night, and you heat them up as they go. I worked at a pizza place that did that. So I guess times have changed along with the service.

Luca was once good service when he first started, so goodbye to Luca. See you around, pal. See you around, Luca. Holy holy shit my name is Luca I live on the second floor and this bitch just told me goodbye that's nice nice shit Tiffany one star if I could give a negative star I ordered two slices and a meatball parm with pepperoni. I don't know why you want that on there, but okay.

Both slices were cold and hard. The meatballs were sliced in half with little to no sauce. I called three times and the rude female who answered the phone, I think we know who that is. Yeah. That is quote the waitress. Yeah. Yeah.

Who answered the phone. Couldn't be bothered to have the manager reach out to fix this nor did he ever call back That's fine though because this $30 I spent with this establishment will and then all caps most definitely be the last three exclamation points Yeah, wait, do you see how that waitress treats Charlie? She's rude to him. Oh boy Yeah, it's gonna be true gonna be him like shit for 13 he has been stalking her though forever so yeah that you know he writes down what she does it's understandable yeah oh man he wrote a whole play for it yeah that was that was hilarious Harvey one

star buffalo chicken stromboli was horrible well yes, yes, that sounds disgusting. Why did you order that? Look, my grandmother, stromboli was like her specialty. Like, when there was like a big gathering or something, she'd make the big strombolis. It's hard to make and it's good. And I've never heard her once say, my Jimmy, do you want the, the Buffalo chicken stromboli or should I make the sausage? She never said that once once not one fucking time sausage was in it pepperoni would come in it not buffalo fucking chicken you jackass fuck you Harvey this is your problem yeah you

did this to yourself man if you brought that back and said this is gross I'd shrug and go I know I don't know why you ordered it that sounded disgusting when you ordered it on you man that is ordered it. That is nasty. Then he said the guy lied about the fresh lemonade. Liars with your buffalo chicken stromboli. Jesus Christ that sounds disgusting. How did he lie about it? It's not fresh? Probably not fresh made or something. Came out of a can. He opened up a Minute Maid bottle and poured it in real quick. So this is Quantia, Quantia, Quantiasha. Quantiasha, one star. Their customer service is horrible. I waited almost two hours. I could, God, this person is great though. She's using periods commas. This is fantastic. It's so into school

It's so easy to read when it's like in a fucking way that you used to reading things like a breath now Come on news article or a book or something Otherwise, it's like so weird. I'm just trudging through people's terrible syntax and trying to form sentences It's terrible syntax and trying to form sentences. It's terrible. Trying to find out where the capital goes. Oh, the sentence start over. Fuck, I waited almost two hours, comma, great. I called the person who answered.

I called, no comma here. We, at least she could use one here. Okay, I'm not on your side anymore. I called, I'm putting my own comma, the person who answered was rude and told me my order was delivered and I was texted by the driver. When I told

him I wasn't he said he was lying he said I was lying and too bad so they said no your order was delivered and she said no it wasn't and they said liar and hung up on her trying to get free shit too bad bitch and they hung up work on your commas Mercedes gives one star. I have been going to Luca's for a very long time and the food has always been very good. On this one evening I order a large pizza. I love how they say, I order, so I order a large pizza. Baited breath.

What do you got Mercedes? On this one evening. After getting at home and starting to eat, my son noticed that his slice had a fly in it. You know what what you got off easy Yeah, you're lucky it's not a tampon in there. Yeah, you're lucky the fly wasn't stuck to a used tampon I Called the manager at Luca to explain what had just happened. I was then asked if I wanted another pie I stated that I did not but they should refund my money back to me. At this point, the manager got very upset and stated that if I want, I can call the health department and nothing would be done as there isn't a restaurant that

doesn't have some kind of bugs flying around. Listen, lady, you can call them and complain, but they ain't gonna do shit because we all got bugs, alright? Listen, who doesn't have bugs in their food welcome to new birth yeah grow up all right you've been eating bugs your whole life lady it's no problem a couple of bugs ain't gonna kill you it's not like it's a band-aid or something you want me to deliver your fucking refund no that's not how this works right and I get gas money to get you $30 flies can land if you take a pizza out of the oven and a fly lands on it That cheese is molten. It stiffens over. It's over. I can see how it happens. Yes, but at the same time

I'll be honest with you. If it's if it's not buried in that cheese There's no way it was it was put in before it was no It would have to be, you'd never find it. No, it would be liquefied after being in a 700 degree oven for fucking 10 minutes. So then the last one was, I don't think I'll be going back there, but please beware of what you're eating.

Yeah, flies, band-aids, things of that nature. Vanessa here, one star. I order two orders of wings, and both of them arrived without any sauce and all capital letters plain with one, two, three, four, five, six, seven N's. Plain. And two exclamation points. She's really...

She got very tiny fried chicken. Very, very pissed off that there's no sauce on any of them. They're all plain. So that's not great. That's gross. Tee gives one star. I've been going to Lucas for the past few years. The unprofessional manner that this restaurant

conducted business today was regrettable. This person works in HR for Christ's sake. She knows how to write something to where they won't get sued for firing someone. That's what she's doing right now. They have, this is fucking funny too, they have lost quite a few customers today. Oh, now you're speaking for others. Okay. A lunch order was placed by phone incorrectly, then corrected along with the price. However,

when the delivery arrived, the price had changed again. I understand there's a delivery fee, which I don't have a problem with. When Lucas was contacted, they refused to honor the price quoted over the phone. The delivery person made matters worse by stating the price was not reduced because I called to complain. Are you serious? Why is it more expensive? Well, we had to spend time dealing with your pain in the ass person self, so we figured we'd charge you for that.

You know what I mean? It's how it goes. We jacked it back up for a service fee. You know, it's a service. You kept talking and fucking wouldn't shut up. That's your service. You called back and we said, this is a lot of service we got to give this fucking broad. No, let's charge you for this.

She said they were offered the price. They were offered the price that was quoted, which was $19. This isn't even a giant order. Right. When she said they lost a lot of customers in my mind, she ordered like a whole bunch of shit for an office. The whole office and it was like $300 and they quoted her $289 and they showed up and they wanted $350 and they didn't have that in petty cash. She ordered a-

It's a lunch for her and her friend. Yeah, it's three slices and a sandwich and a fucking Pepsi. That's what you ordered. It may not be. $19? It's hardly anything. That's a salad and her friend. Yeah, it's three slices and a sandwich and a fucking Pepsi. That's what you ordered. It may not be. $19? It's hardly anything. That's a salad and a slice. No, no, no. No? No.

If you get a good salad, it's $12 in it. No, we went to get pizza before the last Band-Aid incident. And for a pizza and two sodas and onion rings, it was like $27. It was cheap. A whole pizza, though. Yeah, a whole pie. That was a large pie.

That's what I'm saying. $19 is like a salad and a couple a couple slices Yeah, the salad dollars and some drinks and the delivery fee ain't nothing. No, they want a tiny order It's not yeah a little order. They wanted $26. This is just bad business a Restaurant can't reuse this food, right? What would what what would make sense to take the money that was originally quoted by the restaurant or take it back and throw it out? So she's saying, if I refuse it, you're just going to throw it out anyway. So wouldn't you rather have 19, there's no negotiating though. That's the problem. I get you're saying you quoted

this and I got this, but once they show up and they go, if you want this, this is what it costs, you either pay for it or you don't. Those are your options. And the logic there is she's saying, oh, I don't want to pay for it, but you're just going to throw it out anyways to just give it to me. So give it to me for the price, for the lower price. No. No, you could do that at any restaurant. Well, I'm not sure now. Says on the menu, the steak is $34, but if I don't want it, you're just going to throw it out anyway.

I think it was about $28. I think I'm going to pay less. What do you say? You that's where you negotiate. You wait till they make the food. Then you talk about price. Because at that point, the foods are already been made. That's what we do from now on.

That's why we go. Let's let's try to go with the waiter. We're trying in Kansas City next time. We're going to go. I don't know. We try to go to a nice like get some steak or something We're gonna haggle in Kansas City and see if it works. I don't know I'll give you 28 for it and then give them a really good tip though We're gonna do a really like a great tip. They'd be like, why are you arguing over? You clearly don't care

You gave me a fucking 50% Going to you but I only want to pay 28 for that. Let's do this together, okay? Listen, I want to pay less, you want a bigger tip. Alright, here we go. Whatever you can get knocked off of this is going in your pocket, understand? Doesn't it feel good to pay your bills on time? I feel like that would work, probably.

I would do that as a waiter. Let's scam together, sounds good. Yeah, me and you, fuck this place. Yeah, well fuck them good. To take the money that was originally quoted by the restaurant or take it back and throw it out the driver never called to speak with his boss which makes me think this is business as usual I will leave the answer to the next question up to you to answer oh fuck to us hey everybody we have an answer to give let's everyone gather around your earbuds and we'll all do

this here just wow did this food get thrown out or recycled? That's the question. That's the question? I think the kitchen staff ate it. I was just going to say. They brought it back, they put it on top of the pizza oven, which is where all that shit goes, to keep it warm, and then a couple of waiters devoured it after they smoked a joint out back with the dishwasher. That's what happened. They went, I don't know what she was bitching about.

It's pretty good. Pretty good. It's not bad. Even better for free. So I have never had a restaurant take a loss on food and I have worked for too many over the years. They just can't afford to. Without a bar to make up for the loss in wasted spoiled food, it can't survive.

Never again will I eat here. This has left too many questions. Their professional manner toward the customer has been put in doubt. I would also advise you to check the price on the menu again against the price you are charged. The tax is.0825. Do your math unless you like giving your hard-earned money away. Wow. If you've worked at restaurants then you know why did you ask that dumb question, Vash? That's what I mean. You knew where that food went. You know what the fuck you were doing.

And then this last one here from Matt. One star, the shrimp scampi sandwich is borderline embarrassing. And look, there's a picture of it. That is. That's a sand, what? It looks like there is some, a little bit of cheese, some garlic butter. Conchilled cheese over some bad shrimp. With like three tiny shrimp under this conchilled cheese. That's a shrimp scampi sandwich.

Just bread. That looks fucking terrible, man. Awful. That is awful. Not a sauce, not a vegetable, nothing. Not a goddamn thing. It's just in a clam shell, this sandwich. I don't know if the bread's good,

because I can't see the top of it to even see if it's good. Yeah, it doesn't look good on the inside. OK, so band-aids and flies and complainers. Oh my, let's move on here. Terrible shrimp sandwiches. That looks awful. I definitely don't want that shrimp. That's the worst sandwich I've ever seen fuck. That's too. I'd be if I open I'd be like what there's not this is you put this on bread

And we're like that's a meal for a person Did you see Boondock Saints when the guy like opens the sandwich he shows his bunny goes Terrible sandwich yeah You know that's not even like you're not getting shrimp in nearly even half the bites of that sandwich. There's like three shrimps there. There's three tiny shrimps being held down by congealed cheese. That's it.

That does not a scampi shrimp sandwich make. No. And where the fuck does congealed mozzarella cheese go on a shrimp scampi? That's not good. I made scampi. There's no cheese in the recipe whatsoever. It's butter sauce. It I've made scampi. There's no cheese in the recipe whatsoever. It's butter.

It's lemon, it's butter. There's no cheese whatsoever. So I don't even know where that comes from. I guess you could put some of that like shredded Parmesan on it. You could do that. You gotta have other shit in the sandwich because there's nothing to that sandwich.

Generally, and this is a weird thing for, but unless it's like a specific Parmesan way, like making it coated in cheese, seafood in Italian, like hard, in America it's a little bit different, but if you're from. Cheese doesn't go on it. Cheese doesn't go on anything fish.

Clam sauce, no cheese. Is shrimp fish? Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, seafood is what they are. It's so much better. Yeah, ridiculous. So anyway, let's try to avoid bad food in the future

Let's try to avoid it. How will we know though? Oh, how will we know where we're going? I know well, we'll have to go and see someone who'll tell us let's go to mama Tracy and find out a psychic What does she do? She is a psychic at? mama Tracy's comm and she's Michigan, the Dearborn Heights, Michigan. 23614 Van Born Road, Dearborn Heights, Michigan. She does contact readings, group events, intuition meditation, intuitive tarot, intuitive tarot readings, which I don't know what the difference between those two things would be. They all sound the same.

Palm readings and much, much more. This place has 4.7 stars out of 445 reviews too. So people like Mama Tracy. They like her. Somehow. Let's find Arthur really likes Mama Tracy. Our five stars for Arthur. Excellent and well-stocked metaphysical store. The staff are

friendly and knowledgeable and the readers are great. That is by the way not the great you'd expect. This is G-R-A-T-E like they have cheese back there and they're grating it. Especially Dave. Oh there's a Dave. There's a Dave. If I go for a psychic anything and I sit down and he goes, I'm Dave, I go, I'm outta here. I'm leaving. No, no. You better be a fucking woman with a weird accent or I'm not listening to you at all. At all! Strange name, weird accent, color of hair that doesn't occur in nature, things like that.

That's what I want out of a psychic. Not a guy named Dave. Dave has his cell phone clipped to his belt. I'm not getting psychic advice from that guy. No fucking way. Dave scratched his balls before he sat down. Fuck yeah. Dave and his khakis can fuck off.

I'm not going there. So that's the whole review there. Next up, Five Stars. I love going there. Get out of here Dave. So that's the whole review there. Next up, 5 stars. I love going here. They have everything I need and more. Really? I had a reading today by Shelly and she read me like a book. She did.

That's how she got your money for this. Right. She read something about you. Yeah, she read some shit. Read me like a book, answered all my questions without me even asking. I will be returning and thank you so much for the wonderful experience. Okay.

Which, and here's the thing, I don't care if psychics are real or not at this point because it's obvious it's mostly bullshit, but if people leave feeling better then that's a service they paid for. Yes. That's the thing. If you go get a massage. What's the difference?

You know what I mean that person didn't really want to touch you, but they did very similar same shit Chris gives five stars. I went to a psychic recently. Well, I'm glad you did cuz that's that'd be weird If you were reviewing this otherwise, so thank you Mama Tracy and her daughter Penelope were amazing and her daughter Penelope were amazing. Actually amazing doesn't even start to cover it. I wanted to know things about my mom and specifically about the day she passed. Oh, this is a person who's in pain.

Who wants like, that's rough, man. She was able to hone right into my mom. When she was telling me what my mom was saying, it was in exactly my mom's phrasing and cursing lol I felt my mom all around the room it was nothing short of life-changing I met mama Tracy but not for the reading both were nice caring funny and extremely compassionate I highly recommend them really made him feel better about his dead mom I mean that's that's she swore like her. Yeah. And

I'm sure he what was your mom like? Well you know she was this and that she was a real character in a card and she would tell you exactly to go fuck yourself if you want to. Yeah you know Michigan here. Dequan gives one star. Not a great first experience. Seem like she was just playing with cards more than she was actually doing a reading. Just dicking off with cards. I gave her the horse sheet and said, which one? And she just kept fumbling those cards around. She was stacking them on top of each other going, god damn it, Solitaire's hard. I don't even know what she was doing. What a shufflin'.

What a shufflin'. Samria gives one star. I wouldn't normally give this a four star. I Wouldn't normally give us a four star. She gave it one star So what are you talking about? But considering who I had a read with was terrible Her name is Erica and I believe she just started doing readings because she literally didn't even know what the cards meant That's not good. She looks at it like, oh shit, that one. And tries to remember. And you're filling her in.

You're like, yeah, that's, that doesn't look good. I'm going to be honest, but I'm going to ask somebody if that's bad. Knives, swords. And death. Death. Yikes. I don't know. Maybe she just didn't want to tell you how bad this shit is for you. No shit.

Hopefully if I go back, I only want David. He's the best. Dave is the best. Fucking Dave. No, I don't trust Dave. He has told me things that no one knows. I think he's the best in there. Don't get me wrong.

I like this place, but Erica shouldn't do any more readings. Let's put Eric on the back burner for now. Dave looks through your windows. Dave, yeah. You look over and you're like, readings. Let's put Eric on the back burner for now. Dave looks through your windows. You look over and you're like, why isn't a window all fogged up in that one spot? Dave's hiding, leaned up against your vinyl siding. Is that Dave again out there? God damn it. This is how he knows so much. Jesus. KB gives one star. I went here asking for a love reading. Yeah.

Oh, please, help me. Desperate fuck. Yup. And it just felt like a very generic reading. Like those readings you'd see on TikTok and four million people saying this is their situation. Yes, generalities. That's psychics. Isn't it crazy that you can really just we're all real similar and

what we want and need. And everybody's relationship is shitty in the same way. Yeah because we're all human you dumb fucks. That's how it felt. No personal connect was made. Other readings I've been to took their time to connect with me, ask me personal questions and get to know who I was more. Okay I don't want my psychic asking me a bunch of questions. You're a psychic. Tell me. Tell me everything or just say,

don't need to get caught up, cause I know already, cause I'm a fucking psychic. Now let me tell you about the future. At that point, it's therapy. You want to go somewhere and talk to someone. So fucking call up better helpers, whatever the fucking. Make a friend. Yeah.

Fuck. Make a friend. Go to, if you want to pay someone to listen to your bullshit, whatever the fucking. Make a friend, you fuck. Make a friend. Go to, if you want to pay someone to listen to your bullshit, go to therapy. That's what I, this is a psychic. But I guess if that's what the people want, I think this is more about less about being a psychic and more about figuring out, intuiting what people want from you. And do they want to talk? Do they want to be reassured? Do they want to be? And do they wanna talk? Do they wanna be reassured? Do they want to be warned?

What do they want? Because you can tell, after a while, I'm sure you can tell just by their body language what they're there for. Are they anxious? Like any sales, you gotta create the need and then you fill the need. That's a fucking stupid bullshit.

But psychics, I mean, all the needs are right there. They need everything. They need money, they need love. They need happiness Yeah, you got to try and fucking tell them how to that it's the out. Oh god That's got to be the most exhausting fucking terrible Well at least the person who just wants to talk that's much easier at least they don't want you to predict the future that sounds much Harder than just listening to your bullshit. Yeah Tell me how your job sucks. I'll deal with that rather than trying to tell this woman

where her fucking soulmate is. Yeah, where, how you're going to acquire them, what weird things to like, how to place your furniture in your house to make the universe ready for your love fucking match to come. Your soulmate. So this person goes on to say, the lady I had at Mama Tracy

just seemed like she was ready to go. Wouldn't recommend. Waste of $50. Okay. And the response from an owner here. Oh. The response. Yeah.

I'm truly sorry you feel this way. Which is the... That's it? No, no. That's just the first sentence. We really try to make connections with each client. However, sometimes it may not happen, and we would hope that you would bring it to our attention

so that we could put you with another psychic with whom you may connect with better. Blessed be Mama Tracy. Blessed be. Blessed be. Reagan gives one star. I used to love this place. Been going here for years in parentheses.

The vibe was amazing Everyone was nice and the psychics were great Then I went to earth lore in Plymouth I guess it's another place and found out that mama's over pricing everything Things that are $1 at earth were three and up at mama's the whole store was like this I don't see myself ever going again sadly I really loved this place. Maybe earth is underpriced. You know, that's what I mean Well, if you were happy if there was an item and you and you looked at it and it was three dollars and you said, okay

That's reasonable and you were happy getting it for three dollars. What the fuck do you care? You were happy about it You didn't go. Oh god, this is breaking my bank You said oh three bucks you want someone else got it cheaper, and you want theirs for that money You know I've been to McDonald's and had a cheeseburger there Then I went somewhere else on a gourmet joint their burgers seemed a little bit better It was a little better a little more, but I wanted it for McDonald's pricing. I really I was used to that by now Used to 399 a burger. So the owner responds here. Of course, here we go.

I'm sorry we are not the cheapest nor the highest price store. However, I can guarantee that every bag and every featured stone is hand selected by me personally. We don't just buy bulk online or at gem shows. Oh, I'm sure you go to the fucking, you go to Nepal and climb a fucking mountain. We go to the sword. And ship out rocks that are what you need the fuck outta here. Hold it to the sun and get through it and make sure it has the right sparkle.

Listen to this fucking arrogant shit. I personally touch each bag, picking the best one for my store. Oh, Mama Tracy's touched it everybody, it's magical now. She's out there rubbing bags. She's rubbing bags and balls and fucking rocks over here. We do not spend thousands at a time or buy the palette which gives a better price.

So they're saying we don't buy in bulk, that's why. I have to hand choose my shit that you can't tell the difference on. I get the best ones and leave the rest of it for the bulk buying bass You know when they can sell them for a dollar We do our best to get great stones and have a great selection and still be able to pay the rent because we do Not own the building. I appreciate you coming and supporting our small business. Hope to see you again in the future mama tea mama tea Blessed be it's just mama tea now

Mamatee. Mamatee. Not blessed be. It's just Mamatee now. Okay, Jess one star came here before and liked it, but I was trying to call to reschedule an appointment by phone and by an appointment and the phone was not ringing. So I didn't know if my calls were going through. They're not. I think that's the phone.

Yeah, it's a phone. Sounds like there's a phone issue. Every time you call a shit rings or as it ain't working. Did not get a message to leave a voicemail at the end of either just silence. I get a call back. It's not connecting. It's not working for some reason.

I get a call back and whoever called me back acted rudely saying, hi, we missed your 13 calls. No. That's not. You tried 13 calls. No! That's not... You tried 13 times? How desperate are you to be bullshitted? You called 13 fucking times? Your phone didn't ring back at you.

It was ringing on our end. We were busy. Sick stalker bitch. And then we counted 13. 13. 13 calls. And lecturing me about how my calls were interfering with another call they were on. Oh my god, it's not my fault.

All I was getting was silence on their end and I thought it was some kind of issue so I kept trying. I ended up just canceling my appointment altogether. I do not appreciate rudeness and I will not give anyone my money who is going to talk to me like that. You don't talk to me like that. Response from the owner. I'm sorry you feel that way.

So it went from blessed be mama Tracy to mama T and now this one. I'm sorry you had the experience, this experience, the person who answered no longer works here at mama Tracy's. Oh, we got rid of it. We thought he was a Dick too. It was Dave's. He gets, he's going through a divorce. He, you know, he's trying to get more time with his kids.

He only gets them one weekend a month. He's a little surly today. We're sorry. I, I hope you'll give us another try in the future and I must certainly apologize for the way this experience happened and it's not the way we like to do business or treat our customers. No sign off at all on this one. Nothing. Nothing. Just sign off at all on this one. Nothing.

Nothing, just fuck off. Yep, Alexis one star, had a phone conversation with Abby and it was horrible. Oh. Coming in hot here. I'd been going to Mama Tracy for about two years now and never experienced such a bad reading and never felt so cheated.

She was all over the place and confusing. I called her for answers and she just kept asking me questions. Yeah, because she doesn't know shit. She knows no more than you know about anything. That's why. Very disappointed. And Dustin, one star. This is great.

Nice job, guys. It's not even sarcastic, though. Place looks great and is doing great. Nice job guys. It's not even sarcastic though place looks great and is doing great Love the chakra candle. I bought and love the readers. Keep the good mojo going Yeah update. He's got an update. Yeah My house stinks of chakra now Update is mojo has changed since this was posted and not quite so positive as it was with the old readers there one star now and the response is just very short from the owner really really sorry to see and read this post Dustin that's the whole fucking

thing they're gonna show up at your. I'm terrified if they say that. Really sorry to see and read this post, Dustin. I was even really sorry before you typed it in, I knew it. And I was on my way to your house to confront you about it. I saw a vision of you being hit by a bus and I'm not going to warn you about it. I'm not going to tell you the line or the day. Hey, Dustin, you're going to die sometime. I know when I have a good one, Dustin.

It's pretty gross. So just going to let you know. Pretty nasty shit. You see final destination. It's one of those. It's not good. So one star from Sam. That's what I would do. Yeah. It's fuck with fuck these. I'd be like, listen, I'm full of shit anyway.

Stupid. What are you upset about? I've seen the walls. I'm full of shit anyway stupid. What are you upset about? I've seen the walls your blood's gonna be on there. It's a lot of spatter. They're gonna need a lot of experts on this one But I'll tell you what once they finally find your body you may get justice You may get justice once they find the rest once they find the rest of you You will get justice. Once they find the rest of you. Once they find the rest of you. You will get justice. Your mom will stop crying. Oh Jesus.

Okay, Sam one star. My boyfriend purchased a bracelet from here for me for my birthday and I don't have the heart to tell him the bracelet is 100% fake. A couple of things. If real psychics are working here, him the bracelet is 100% fake. A couple of things. If real psychics are working here, they would know they're fake. Listen to what you just said. Yeah.

Yes. If real psychics were working there, everyone on earth would be there. That's what it would be. If real psychics were the fucking whoever's in charge of everything would be, which way should we go? What do we do about Iran and fucking Israel and palace? What do we do with that? There would be military guys lined up and fucking every movie stars. Should I take this role? What do I do?

Real psychics worked here. They wouldn't work there because they would have the lottery numbers They'd be crushing the stock market on a daily basis just printing money All the lottery they would be kings and queens you fucking asshole Jesus So that means they're intentionally selling fake stuff or in all caps or the psychics are fake Or how about and both you consider and Or how about and both you consider and And then the last line is the best I'm not sure which is worst oh They're both lying to you. So who cares both bad. Yeah. All right response from the owner. Here we go. Yeah, here we go

Which bracelet are you referring to? Yeah, we got a lot of fake one here, you know Which bracelet are you referring to? We do not sell fake bracelets of any kind if you have an issue Please stop into our stop our shop talk with our sales manager James We have been in business for over 10 years the psychics have nothing to do with the products were open Monday through Saturday 12 to 6 So we have that's bullshit, and so is this but we keep them separate One star from sherry I was looking forward to my first live reading session, but I left more confused than I was before My cards had nothing to say, but I hope to get more What the fuck is this?

Psychios reads better Psychic with an OZ at the end of it. I don't know. That sounds like a cereal for a psychios. Psychicos. Have a bowl and know what your day is going to be like. Eat psychicos. Know whether or not to even go to work. Yeah, you never know about that bus that may hit you. Mary has gives one star. This is one of my favorite reviews ever. It's very short and sweet. Fake crystals and they had this dog just out in the open. Just out in the open. Like it was a lion. They had this tiger just wandering. It was crazy. They were throwing stakes at it. It was wild. A dog. Just had this dog out in the yard. I've never been in a house or a business

where there's been a dog roaming. That's never happened before. Yeah, there's business dogs all over the place. And then the response from the owner on that one. Here we go. I'm sorry, but our stones and crystals are real in all caps. They're super real. Our shop puppy is behind the counter at all times except if we're taking him to do his business but sending you light and love and positivity. You might as well say you dog-hating cunt. That's my as well what we should say at the end. You're mad at a dog. I need to send you vibes for free, bitch.

This is ridiculous. That's psychic bless your heart. That's what that is. That is exactly. Psychic eat dicks is what that is. Bless it heart. That's what that is. That is exactly. Life and love. Psychic eat dicks is what that is. Blessed be. So we've been fucked over now. We've had band-aid, pizza, and flies. We've been eating all sorts of stuff.

I think it's time here to get inward. Go into ourselves, and let's look at the personal item. Here we go. Of the week, everybody. Here it comes. Yeah, we've been fucked over we may as well fuck ourselves let's fuck ourselves I say it every week let's do it here is the product what the hell is that it's a

knitted cock mitten it's a yeah mitten mitten for your cock here it looks like it was made by the most perverted grandma who's ever walked the face of the earth. Strange is, grandma, I don't want this. You're stalking. That's a problem. Well, it's got a dick thing and it's got a ball compartment too. So it's just like, it is the big mouth. Inc makes it the Willy Warmer and underneath it it says a heater for your

Peter. He calls it a funny gag gift for men. People take it very seriously though so it's not funny there. It's nine dollars and 48 cents on Amazon. Deal. And it says novelty Willy Warmer. This form-fitting knit sweater is a great option for providing Protection to your most extra to your most important extremity and preventing embarrassing shrinkage when there's a drop in temperature Are you whipping your dick out when it's negative five degrees anyway? Why do you care go inside and warm it up? What the fuck is wrong with you? How much outdoor fucking are you doing Jesus to be ready at all times Wow wool warmer this special

Special red sweater it is it looks Christmasy I'll tell you that looks festive has been knitted with wool and is sure to be a snug and comfortable accessory in chilly conditions The Willy Warmer by Big Mouth Inc is one of the funniest gag gifts you can get for newlyweds or a friend It's not even funny you get get it and go, what? What is this? You wouldn't even laugh, you'd be so confused as to why you have this. Why do I have this right now? Did I complain my dick was cold once while we were out?

I'd be so confused. Funniest gag gift that people are actually fucking using. That's the crazy part. Oh, they're very upset. And then it says here, this is the other thing. One size fits all. No, nothing with your dick is one size fits all. Never.

The knitted red sweater for the Willy is free-sized. I don't even know what that means, free-sized, and is likely to be a snug fit for every man out there. And it also says hilarious packaging. The Willy Warmer has hilarious and to-the-point packaging. So the recipient of the gift is in no confusion. It's a heater for his Peter. And it says, then there's a product description. Get ready to bring the laughs to any party or gift exchange with our hilarious gag gift collection. Whether you're shopping for a white elephant exchange, a birthday

bash, don't give this to people at work. You can't give a dick warmer to a work fucking person. You're going to lose your job. White elephant though is anonymous. I guess. They're going to fingerprint that though and fire you. They're going to do DNA tests. Not anonymous anymore. Who's the pervert? What the fuck? I worked with a guy that brought one of those jerking off Santas that you wind it up and it fucking yeah yeah yeah oh yes you can but you're a everybody knows who did it that's the who's the asshole who would buy this we all know right yeah yeah it wasn't fucking you

know Mary from accounting probably I think it from accounting probably. You think it's Chuck from the Loading Dock? I think it's Chuck from the Loading Dock. Yeah, yeah. Just start assigning them to everybody. What'd you bring? What'd you bring? What'd you bring? And then the very last person that does not say fucking cock sock.

Or when you opened it, who's the only person that laughed? That's, I think we can do it right there. Yeah, that was the answer. That's the answer. A birthday, Basher, you just want to prank your friends and family. Golly. You thought I got you something useful and I didn't. What prank is that?

We've got you covered with a range of quirky and random items that are sure to get a chuckle. From fake tiny hands that'll have everyone doing a double take to novelty shot glasses and funny wine glasses perfect for toasting to good times, our selection is guaranteed Take tiny hands that'll have everyone doing a double take to novelty shot glasses and funny wine glasses perfect for toasting to good times. Our selection is guaranteed to bring the fun. Spice up your kitchen with our funny butter dishes and novelty salt and pepper shakers or add a touch of humor to your bathroom with our fake food cans and novelty toilet paper. Fake food cans?

For the ultimate office prank, don't forget to grab our complaint department sign. Oh that'll get a chuckle at everybody down there. It's a grenade. So this is where the hacky asshole at work shops is what you're getting at. Whether you're shopping for mom, dad, a friend, a co-worker, our gag gifts are sure to be a hit. Get ready to spread some laughter and make memories with our hilarious gag gift collection. Okay. This is five stars from Not On Meds. That is their username. Hot. Yeah, that's on a lot of meds. Hot Dog and Great Balls of Fire is their title here. They have a title on Amazon. Three stars. Yeah. Hot Dog and Great

Balls of Fire warms them up and keeps them cozy is the first line. Just what I needed this winter. A little small, but if you pre-stretch and work with your fingers, you can get it to fit unless you're Mr. Long Hung Low. H-U-N-G-L-O, Long Hung Low. Then it's a gag gift that makes you laugh and laugh and laugh again you silly human There's nothing funny about this mass your dick into a sweater and giggle all day I showed it to you and you went oh why you were like, what is that? Yeah, why don't get it Tyler five stars

I on the other hand use mine pretty regularly now as As the- Really? Yeah. Now imagine, now I imagine some people have purchased this as a gag gift and it never left the package. It happens. On the trash. I on the other hand, use mine pretty regularly. Wow. Now the weather isn't too cold here in Portland.

So I can attest to how well it actually keeps a person's willy warm. However, I do wear this little ditty. Don't use that. Don't call your dick ditty. That's not good. I wear this to the white party. Wow. I do wear this little ditty when I do a special Christmas themed strip tease. Where are you doing a Christmas themed strip tease and for who?

I guess for their significant other. And draw the strings on it to do a great job of holding it in place while I dance, which is the most important thing when one's considering how to properly cover their package. Golly. Whoa. Okay. Next up, five stars. Hilarious. Just so funny. I got this for my husband as a gag gift and was beat red. Wow, he must have been pissed. He didn't find it as funny as you obviously. Holy shit. I was beat bloody. Oh man, I'll tell you what, when I got back from the emergency room he still wasn't happy with me. 12 years together and he has never blushed, not even the slightest. Best funny gift ever. Right. How dorky are you that a dick sweater made him go, oh my

God. The vanilla life was still my wow. Holy shit. Not for Mormons. It should say on it. Maybe that's a, uh, dandy five stars keeps it warm. Got this for my son for Christmas. That's just creepy. What? No, no, no. He gave you, if he gave you a dildo, I swear to fuck. That's yeah. He gave me a dildo back. It was a banner year. Best holiday season in years. He turned red when he realized what it was. Yeah, that would be the only,

except your mother gave this to you in a family setting. You might be embarrassed about that. Mom, what the fuck? Mom gave me any cock product. We got a product. Anything for my dick. She promised me a cock ring for my birthday if I like this. He turned red when he realized what it was and we all laughed. That's nice, we laughed at him. He really liked it and we enjoyed watching him get embarrassed.

Yeah, we ridiculed him about his tiny dick and how he can keep warm. Look at your little dick, it'll fit in there, right? Ryan Five Stars, love him is the fucking title here. My man junk, oh no, man my junk, sorry. Man my junk has never been this warm. Much better than wearing underwear. What? He's using them in place of underwear.

Just in place, this way the zipper doesn't rub on your dick, you know. Wow man, good for you. Wow, that's amazing Jessica five stars too funny god damn it these people are easy laughs too funny what a great what a great gag gift and he even tried it on wow and then says it's too small for an adult male of course haha well not for the fucking Ryan or other people. And your guy saw it and was like, I think I could fit it.

I'm going to put it on. I'm going to give it a shot. Gracie gives five stars. I was wondering what Jeff was doing in his room, dot dot dot. Oh boy. Says, I was wondering what Jeff was doing in his room. He came out and had his Willy Warmer on. I almost wet my pants with laughter.

Yeah. One size does not fit all. So he just had a little, a little like knitted dick hat we was wearing. A knitted Yamaka on his cock. Yeah, a little cock, a little cockaca. And you got that on you. This better not be her brother.

She didn't even say what the relationship is between her and this person. No, she just said Jeff. But they don't have the same bedroom because he was in his bedroom. I'm hoping this isn't her brother. She didn't even say what the relationship is between her and this person. They don't have the same bedroom because he was in his bedroom. I'm hoping this isn't her son. I'm just hoping it's not her son. That's all. I'm just praying it's not her son. I just want to be her roommate. I don't need it to be related to her at all. Five stars, the greatest, the best fucking title ever. Practical winter wear for the

nudist community. Golly. Wow. If you hate clothes and the cold, this is the perfect thing. If you fall in that very slim Venn diagram, you're going to be happy. I hate it when it's cold, but boy do you love your dick out. Boy, you like to have your dick flopping around, but you also want your asshole to be free. That's the other thing. You don't want that covered up. Lately, I've been wearing this a few times a week at least.

Wow. See, that's what I mean. Three stars from Joel. Works as advertised. The sizing runs a little large. Pardon? It looks like you put your pinky in it. It really looks like it's that size.

It's a pinky. It looks like a finger cot. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Works as advertised. The sizing runs a little large though. I had to wash mine in hot water, then dry on high to shrink it down a little bit. He had to shrink his dick sweater. Wow. Now it fits snug and keeps me warm all day. You poor little dick person, Joel. Jesus, that's a very little dick you have there. I'm so sorry about your Robin's egg, man.

Man, that is just sad. You sad little dick. You have a big clitoris. Yeah, that's what you have. Maybe try just dittling on it, you know. Let's see. Three stars. It's a nice gag gift. The wiener was too big, is the first line. It's a nice gag gift, but it's not exactly practical, and it doesn't allow him to put it on properly and do the helicopter. It doesn't even go on.

He wants, this person wants a, He wants to cover his dick so he can helicopter it. Golly. Just take it out. Jesus. Justin, another Justin, three stars, ouch is his fucking title. Oh, what happened? How do you get ouch from a knitted- Strangling?

It's like a dick sweater. Um, gave me a rash from excessive wearing. Excessive! Excessive wear, don't have it on all the time. Warning, do- don't not wear to sleep and bre- breakfast, lunch, lunch and dinner then again sleep later in the day. You will regret it You pissed and then put it back in the yeah. What are you talking about? Wearing a dick sweater for two straight day if you wear anything that's snug on you constantly it'll give you a rash with your own shit Two stars. This is the strangest complaint ever

in the title, not eye-catching, okay? Packaging not as colorful as shown in picture. Oh, I'm sorry, that's a shame there. That's annoying. You wasted $9, I really feel for you. Only says Willy Warmer on plain white piece of cardboard. Kind of disappointed, no color or no quote, heater for your Peter logo.

This person needed a whole gag gift design on the, okay, packaging. It's nine bucks. It's all the potpourri really of comedy here that comes together when you get the heater for your Peter and the pack. It's all one big thing here. Yeah, I need some like cartoon illustrations of like eyes bugging out of heads when they see it.

Laughing a red Mormon being very upset. The man beating his wife over. Whatever packaging is on a whoopee cushion, do that. Yes, yeah. The guy hilarious laughter, whoopee cushion packaging, perfect. I'm giving it as a gag gift and was really looking at the packaging to catch the eye and make it the perfect hilarious gift. Not going to work though. I draw a dick on it, man. I don't know who gives a shit. Hand it to the person. Go. It's a heater for your Peter. They won't even know you're a hack. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Here's two stars. Naughty white elephant. You naughty white elephant. You Elephant. You naughty white elephant, you.

Stop it, you naughty white elephant. Sexy, naughty. You filthy son of a bitch. Served its purpose, but I was disappointed in the quality and size, insulting to most men, even as a joke. Don't call my dick small. Wow. Jim gives one star, probably too small to fit anyone.

I know it's a novelty, but why buy it when you could just look at the picture of it? I wanted to wear this while I was wearing my kilt so the ladies don't get too much of an eyeful when playfully lifting it. What? When I'm showing people what's under my kilt, you know When I'm sexually assaulting people that's the word that's illegal man

Then now the ladies don't get too much of an eyeful when I'm exposing myself in public. Yeah, you know When I'm being a fucking sex offender when I'm being a sex pest, this is what I do. Oh fucking sex offender. When I'm being a sex pest this is what I do. If you have this thing on it'll keep you from getting arrested. Yeah that's yeah maybe. A waste of ten dollars maybe I'll use it as a Christmas ornament on our tree lol. Then one star bust. This item was labeled one size fits all. No way. Much too small for this 70 year old. Even my shriveled up little old dick doesn't fit in it. My shriveled dick is huge.

It's a monster. You should have seen it 50 years ago. It's wrinkly but it's impressive. Nicholas one star very small. Would fit a 10 year old boy. Not meant for adults. I hope the guys that have worn it don't read these. I really do. How insulting. I got in it.

Fuck you. I have a 10 year old dick. Jesus. Maggie one star, he'll never take it off for you to get off. Okay. Wow, he loves it. Too much time had passed before I decided to take the plunge and purchase this item for my husband.

Nothing but complaints on how cold his junk was day after day. I've never had that complaint. Whenever I'm freezing, my dick is warm. It's never like, man, my fucking balls is really where I'm feeling it. They're nestled right into my thighs. Pretty much if my arms are covered, I'm warm. You know what I mean? They've got pants on with two layers over my dick

It's fine. I've always had the complaint of boy. I could use some air conditioning down. Yeah Yes Like a ball fan, maybe that would be nice here Took the plunge bird and no complaints finally after the express delivery. I handed this item to my husband to try immediately He placed it over his pork sword and cherries. I've never heard that before. His eyes lit up as though a switch had been turned on. He thanked me and put his pants back on.

Now on day 14 he has not taken it off, only to pee and hand soak in the sink. He uses woolite on this fucking thing. That's hilarious. He totally does. I can see him gently with his fingers. Yeah. He washes them like ladies wash their leggings. Wash an expensive bra. Not even at bedtime, he point blank refuses as now he's addicted to the sheer warmth and comfort and support this offers to his package I'm not a happy wife. I've had no action in days Willie warmer. I hate you, but my husband loves you

What the fuck? Okay? Alright, let's move you from your marriage. That's good. Let's take out our tiny little warm dicks Yeah, and relax a little bit. What do you say? Let's do it. Let's go out together. Jim, wanna go on a little date together? Let's do it. Let's do something refreshing.

Let's do this. Wanna go to the movies? Let's go to the movies. Okay, yeah. Well, where are we gonna go to the movies? That's the question. Let's go to the AMC Magic Johnson Harlem Nine. The what?

It's a Magic Johnson Harlem Nine. Magic Johnson? It's Magic Johnson Harlem 9. Magic Johnson has nine theater movieplex in Harlem? Yes. Magic Johnson, if you're wondering, owns everything, apparently. The Dodgers, movie theaters, the Cure to AIDS, he's got it all. So whatever you need, Magic's got you covered. What did he just buy? Did he just buy a ladies basketball team or something?

I'm sure. He's got so much money. It's ladies something, but he bought another fucking team. He just keeps buying shit. This place has 3.9 stars out of 6,120 reviews. This is 23.09 Frederick Douglass Boulevard in New York. In Manhattan, not Harlem it is, but it's Manhattan technically still. AMC theaters. Okay, Helena gives five stars. I came here with the kid I babysat. The employees were nice and the movies were great and the seats were comfortable and adjustable. Great.

And she's got screenshots of some, I think this is Despicable Me part 14 or some shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's never stopped making They're gonna keep making them till they don't make any fucking money Next up cha gives five stars The old-school photos and art of great actors actresses and freedom fighters on the walls make this building a historical masterpiece Oh, it's in Harlem. It's on Frederick Douglas Boulevard, just gonna have stuff like that. It's a great tribute to black history. While in the theater, they don't cut the lights when they're supposed to, they cut it later.

Yeah. Lights on, I guess, I don't know. However, if you groan, if you groan. If you complain, yeah. No, no, if you groan, if you are a groan person, if you're an adult, if you complain. G-R-O-A-N, you got it, okay. However, if you groan, they have alcohol selections that help you with any nuisances, LOL.

Get shit-faced, watch a movie, and shut the fuck up is what they're saying. Don't worry whether the lights are on or not. Yup. I pre-ordered my tickets and food online. I went during the day on a weekday. Less headache. Small lines. The movie I saw was Kingdom of the Planet of Apes. It was okay. The last three movies were way better in my opinion. They've seen the last ones that just keep going. All the Planet of the Apes. Long live the true Caesar. This is a

huge Planet of the Apes nerd here. Oh boy. That's the, that's the, the ape Caesar. This is a huge plan of the apes there. That's the ape Caesar. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a big time into this. Next up, one star, a real slum like the rest of Harlem. Harlem's gotten a lot nicer, by the way, in the last 10, 15 years. Sure. Yeah. The entrance was abandoned,

the escalator was out of service, and everything for some reason was on the third floor. Fortunately there was an elevator. What the fuck you complaining about then? It's also New York. Everything's up. Everything's up. There was no fountain drinks because of some kind of infection. This was two months ago so we don't know what infection this was. I don't know what the fuck infection. No soda, not even in a can. I didn't put any fake butter on the popcorn because the butter station was nasty filthy.

That's a nasty filthy. It's getting infected next. That's really filthy. We sat through 25 minutes of promotions. Those are trailers, they do that in every movie. We finished the dry popcorn 10 minutes into the movie. AMC are terrible corporate movie houses, but this one in particular should be torn down They have church services there and maybe that's why all the movies are on the third floor

Finally the mural of Magic Johnson with the smiling children and parents is over-the-top campy. It's embarrassing Especially when you remember he's an AIDS patient. Yeah. So he's not allowed to smile with his children because he's an AID. Keep him away from the kids. Fuck. You should be sick. You got AIDS motherfucker. What are you smiling about? You want to see the, here's the mural by the way. It's just him with some kids smiling. Oh yeah. Well, I don't know.

Embarrassing. Maybe shouldn't have got the coke machine sick. Jesus. Yeah. Maybe that was the infection. You can't have got the Coke machine sick. Jesus, yeah, maybe that was the infection. You can't have a drink machine out at Magic Johnson Theaters and go, sorry, there's an infection. You go, what? What fucking infection are we talking about here? Let me know, because I am scared.

You've got to be real specific. Nothing can be infected here you guys. No infections, no fucking none of that shit. It can't be testing for anything, none of that. Prince gives one star here a month ago, he's back from the dead. It's good for him. It's summer and it's 90 degrees outside, why is there absolutely no AC in this place? Oh my god really fuck that

escalate escalator doesn't function fully no staff in box office and the staff you do see are rude and seem to have missed customer service training the cashier was impatient and clearly irritated I was trying to explain what menu item I specifically wanted and she was quick to talk over me, insisting on the item she assumed I wanted. She was incorrect. And to top it all off, I was given broken straws to drink my slushy out of. They were broken at the end. They had a little spoon thing on it.

Broken. No. Or they're broken and you want to get... Every time you take a sip you get just a little bit because there's a crack in it. That's horrible. Yeah. And how would, how is an escalator sip, you get just a little bit, because there's a crack in it. That's horrible, yeah. And how is an escalator barely work? It just goes slow? It works or it doesn't.

Take a step, dog. Keep going up. They still are stairs, everybody. That's the thing. I see people with that all the time, they'll look at them like, oh God, what do I do? Walk, motherfucker, that's what you do. Go.

You'll see at like airports and shit, sometimes they'll get in later, come whatever. They stop and look around, like, what are you doing? Fucking walk! I've literally been behind people going, they're stairs now! I've said that. Move! I've walked up, watched a person stand at the bottom of an escalator with their shit

for like 10 seconds as I walk up and before I run into the back of them I say, they're stairs now, move! And they go, oh shit, and they start walking you fucking dummy if it starts moving we go one direction or the other it's either gonna go up or come down so just walk up if it starts going great we got less of a walk Pablo gives one star yeah teens were fighting I love that yeah I love any venue where teens are fighting that's always fun. Teens were fighting and making a lot of noise in the row in front of us.

A few people told them to calm down. I went to an employee and told them what was going on. Security didn't really do anything. They showed up for 10 seconds, told them to hush, and then left. They were back at it as soon as they left. Yeah, that's what kids do. We all did that. We all fucked off.

We were smoking weed in the movie theater. Be lucky we weren't there. For me, my 16. And you know what happens is that those kids go, who fucking told on us? And they said they're yapping. Which one of you motherfuckers did it? Then they're going to beat the shit out of one of you corny fucks outside. The fucking squares called the fucking fuzz.

Yeah, what the hell, man? Once they started FaceTiming during the movie I left. What's the worst way we can annoy these people? Call your mom. These are like the people sitting in front of George Costanza when he has a meltdown and goes, do you want us to go outside and I'll show you what it's like when he does that, the Buddy Rich fucking line. I'll show you what it's like. And they're all like, Jesus Christ. Okay. And everybody claps.

That's because if you want to, we'll go outside and I'll show you what it's like. Oh man. That is a buddy rich line from Buddy Rich, the drummer back in the day. There's everybody. If you want to hear something funny and hear a guy melt down and yell at people, the buddy rich tapes look up. He was like the number one drummer in the world in like the 40s and 50s and he had this band.

And one of these, on the bus trips after the shows, he would berate his band members, all of them. You're a piece of shit. Kids in the fucking park play better than you, he tells them. I'm gonna fucking drop you off over here at this next fucking quarter, you can find your own ride home. He's yelling at all these people

and there's a guy who started recording it because it's crazy so it's fucking hilarious. And anyway at one point he gets so mad at one guy he goes, because we can do it, we can step outside, I'll take you out there and I'll show you what it's like. And I'm like that's the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard. I'll show you what it's like. The 40s, who do you think you are, I am. Yeah exactly, I'll show you what it's like. That's you think you are? I am. Yeah, exactly.

I'll show you what it's like. That's a guy you don't want to go outside with, though. No. He says, I don't think so. I'll show you what it's like. You're like, oh, god. What's like? He knows what's going to happen.

This isn't going to be a contest. He's going to be showing me something. I don't like this. I was looking for a contest. This is different. So didn't even make it, once they started FaceTiming I left, didn't even make it halfway through. This isn't my first experience like that up here, but that was the worst.

Not coming back. Okay, one star from an account that calls himself Customer Service Reviews Reports. They think they're very important. Yeah. Only one employee cashier working took 15 minutes just to get popcorn and it gets worse. Someone forgets to turn off the lights when the movie started. That's not cool.

You got to do that. I missed the beginning part of ghostbusters looking for someone to help. Well, you didn't miss anything. Don't worry. I'll be back for Deadpool in July. I hope this location improves when I return. This was in April of 2024. Notice both pictures at the wait time,

both pictures the wait time on the receipt and lights in theater. So there's a picture of the lights on in the theater and his fucking wait time, picture with it circled to all right Duleen gives it one star gross in all caps that's awesome stay out in three exclamation points you've been warned he's gonna show you what it's like yeah yeah something and she got AIDS pay extra for clean seats and go somewhere else, or bring a large rain poncho so that you can drape over the seat.

What? No, thank you. I'm not going. I just don't. I'm just going to stay home. They need to get their act together. No one likes a filthy seat. Scrub and power wash that theater, then I'll give them my money.

Magic Johnson would be ashamed his name is attached to this travesty in the name of magic Johnson I implore you In the good name of magic Johnson The unsullied name of urban magic. God damn it their popcorn gave me diarrhea gave me diarrhea. That's the best line ever. Yes, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did. Did you get a fountain drink? Because it's infected. Watch out. I'm sure it smelled terrible too, because a popcorn fart is the worst. Oh man, popcorn shits, that's not good. Oh, you eat a whole bottle. I take my daughter all the time, and she wants a giant thing of popcorn and never eats it. So I'm tasked with shoveling this shit down my face,

and then I'm in pain for two days. Why did I do it again? Buttery farts for two days. No one wants that. She ruined me again. Their popcorn gave me diarrhea. It's unsanitary and poorly kept. Zero stars.

Yeah. No stars for you. You can say unsanitary around things that have his name on them. No. Unsanitary, infected. And there's a lot of pictures pictures of the floor and there is just shit all over the floor Napkins and straw wrappers. It's just no one's every other movie theater you go to there's always one Teenager walking around sweeping it all the time all the time because there's pop people drop pop the amount of popcorn

There's an assigned sweeper at a movie theater because of the popcorn. Because you have to just start at one end, like paint in the Golden Gate Bridge. You sweep over here, you just go to the X-X end and come back. There's more popcorn, guarantee it. Start heading back, yep. Yep, especially the overfilled, when you dip your hand in, you're losing five kernels on the way in there.

Every time. Every goddamn time here. OK, should we do one last one here? One more. One more. I guess one more here from Ashley. It's a longer one, but that's okay. Ashley, one star. This is our neighborhood theater room. We've been dozens of times in the past few years, but it's becoming a pretty bad experience. There are usually only three or four visible employees

on weeknights. What about the invisible ones? You don't know what they're doing. Could be anything. A few months ago, no one was working the projector and the movie didn't start patrons had to go complain to get them to start the movie 20 minutes late Oh shit. Damn. Is it that time already? Last week the lights were just full fluorescent on through all of the previews and people had to complain to get them turned off for the movie Man, the movie. Wow. Man, the staff are okay. How can they be okay?

They leave the fucking lights on and don't turn the movie on for 20 minutes. That's the staff. Literally the place is built to watch movies. If you can't watch a movie, it's not doing it right. Yeah. In terms of a crowd vibe, for big action movies it can be fun. However, people are often talking or have their phones out with super bright screens during the movie, distracting.

One dude was having a phone conversation once, and another time a guy was full on smoking, as opposed to partially smoking. Just taking a couple of drags and putting it out. This is getting all the stereotypes of a hood movie theater though, like encompassing them all in one.

Get a guy lighting cigarettes in here. Guy smoke another dude on the phone like, yeah, you know, I'm at the movies now. As others have said, the theater feels like a rundown ghost town. The escalators are always broken. We pay $5 to go on Tuesdays, but cannot imagine how AMC thinks they can charge $20 other nights. Yeah. Edit, a few months ago we had another instance where someone was smoking in the theater but this time they called the cops and there was a long altercation.

Oh, that's me on a standoff in the middle of the movie. It would have been easier just let him finish his cigarette than interrupt the movie with a police standoff. I'm not leaving. Oh, fuck it. The theater ended up giving everyone vouchers to come back, but yeah in general this is not a good theatre if you want to actually be able to focus on the movie. The movie. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. Wow what a place. That is

crazy. That is Magic Johnson's and we have more we'll finish for next week here. Yeah. We have one coming up from Liz talking about filthy, dirty shit. It's good shit. And then we'll get some more crazy stuff next week. Follow us on social media. Follow us there. Listen to Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder. And keep coming back each and every week for more of people's dumb, stupid, shit opinions.

If I could give them zero stars, I fucking would. Thank you so much, everybody. Have a good one. Keep your Willy warm. Bye! Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.