Your Stupid Opinions - Florida Swan Fights, Aptitude For Attitude, Tall Glass Of Spite

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for a Florida swan boat rental service, where any threat of even a breeze may shut down operations, while teenagers ignore you. A movie theater in Ireland, where one particular employee runs things with an iron fist, and treats employees so badly, that it ruins movies. A Golden Corral buffet in Alaska, where the employees are a little too honest, and you better not drop your fork & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey. Hello there. My name is James Petro Gallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. Thank you folks so much for joining us today. We are excited for more people's bullshit. Can't wait for it. We just love this. This show should be called Glutton for Punishment. That's what it should be called. Let's listen to idiots and their opinions for an hour. And it's so. So funny, we can't wait to get to it. Before we do, head over to shut up and give me murder.com. Get your tickets for the Your Stupid Opinions Live show. We're going to do a live.

We're going to do a lot. It's going to be so much fun. I'm telling you, when we do small town murder, we do a whole reviews section with restaurants from the town. It is the most fun thing in the world. Every time we're doing it, in the middle of it, we say to the audience, God damn it, I wish this was the whole show. Even though the small town murder shows are great, this is just, I, I'm I can't read when we're done with this from laughing so hard. So it's so much fun.

Get your tickets there. It's in Phoenix at Stand Up Live March 21st. We can't wait to see you there. That said, let's do it. Here we go. Let's get into this with the Lake Eola Park Swan Boat Rentals. Lake Eola Park Swan Boats. Swan Boats.

It's a big plastic swan that you pedal. Have you seen these things here? Those are annoying. There it is. Stupid. It looks like something from. Like a knockoff Disney place or like a shitty six-swain. Yeah, have some champagne with your girlfriend on the lake.

Yeah. Lake Eola? Lake Eola. This is in Orlando. Oh. Orlando, located in Lake Eola Park. And it's a big, I'm sure, a big, ugly man-made lake here. It looks like in Orlando, so it's hot as balls.

Yeah. Wait till you hear what these people think is a comfortable temperature down there. They're out of their fucking minds. They're crazy. And I lived in Phoenix, for over. 20 years. It is great. I live, yeah, I keep a resident in Arizona.

Florida sun is a different animal. It's, because it's sticky and it's nasty and it's just. James, I went on a boat for my birthday. I remember. I still have sun spots. You were. One day. You were horrifying looking.

Yeah. Dude, I was 78 degrees. When I saw you, I was like, oh no, what happened to your head? My scalp peeled. Yeah, you needed like that. For days. That was crazy. A 10-gallon hat or something to shade you.

So let's start out with Anne with five stars. I love this park, two exclamation points. She loves it. The swan boat rentals are easy, affordable. The staff was nice and got you in safely. It's a great place for families, dates, groups. They had live music in the evening. Ludicrous, I'm sure, probably, as we found.

He'll do anything. He's everywhere. One of the ludicry that, that goes. goes all around the country. Restrooms are available and clean. They also had a couple of restaurants around the park. This is a way better time spent without all the hustle of large parks. I'll definitely be back.

And if you don't understand the ludicrous thing, we talk about a small town festival in the small town part, a small town murder. And in every festival, no matter how small the area is, it doesn't matter if it's a cowboy festival, the headliner's ludicrous. Every single fucking county fair. Anytime you hear of a small town festival, there is a 68.4% chance. It's ludicrous. Yeah.

That's the thing, too. It doesn't even matter. It could be the Enid Oklahoma Quilt Festival. Ludacris will be performing. Why is he here? There can't be only one ludicrous. That's all I'm saying. He's got to get more O's in those areas.

He's like Saddam Hussein. He's got tons of lookalikes just running around. Next up, America gives five stars. I love taking it. making friends and family to rent out Lake Eola Swan Boats, especially during cooler weather. You know, and it's only 93 inhuman. Yeah. This outdoor activity offers a light workout and an amazing view of downtown slash Lake Eola.

And let me show you this. Downtown Orlando? No, Lake Eola. Let's let me show you the breathtaking. Look at the sites. Looks like a hotel and a city municipal building. Wow, I'm blown away, man. That is the sites.

Yeah. Okay. Hallam, three stars. The reception staff could be a little friendlier. Otherwise, the activity was okay, but the pedal boat was a bit weak. It was hard to pedal. That's you, buddy. As I say, you can only go as fast as you pedal at homes.

Yeah. All right. Yer Rissoliel. Yisroliol, okay, one star. Wouldn't let us go boating, said it was going to rain in the cloudless. sky. When we got there all clear, they still said it might rain and after that they will probably close so goodbye. Goodbye. That guy's attitude is exactly why people die in hurricanes. It's going to rain actually. Well, it's clear now. If you're from, if you've ever been to

Florida, you know a clear sky now does not mean there will be a huge storm in 20 minutes. That's how, that's what Florida does. Storms come through. They pop up. and they're gone. Andrew is off the coast, man. Yeah, even regular storms. They've come in. It's windy out of nowhere. It blows through.

Barbara, one star. If you're not a healthy person, do not go there. You're a little sick. Yeah. No wonder they make you sign a waiver peddling those things and turning in it is the worst thing. You can't do it if you have bad legs and a bad back. I should have, it's a pedal boat. Why'd you choose this?

Why did you do that? I mean, I'm not trying to be a. dick, but there's some things you can't do. If your legs are bad, fucking peddling might not be a great activity for you for the day for fun. That's ridiculous. I should have looked before. Next day, my legs

are in spasms and my back is burning. Yeah, this isn't for you. My God. Jesus, you're all fucked up. All right. Tamina, one star. I would give them zero stars if I could. That's close enough. Nice job. I'll take it.

It could be worse. Not bad. Girl working the stand, blue hair with face piercings. Always. Why is it every time they're mad at somebody, it's face piercings, was not present at the location when we arrived and ran over from her car when she saw us all waiting and then tried to tell us they close at 630 when the sign behind her an online booth, or online both stayed at 7 p.m. I think both is what she's going for.

Even if the last time to take a boat out was 630, we could have made it if the employees were present and not hiding out in their cars. She was extremely rude and then called her manager, Yoshi, who was just as rude. He flew in with like a fat Italian guy on his back and he was like, listen.

Spin eggs at us. I have no use for you people. At first, her excuse was they closed already and kept sticking to this excuse, but her attitude and excuse changed once the manager got on the phone. And now the reason became that it wasn't because we got here late,

but because it was about to storm. Yes, it was cloudy, but it's Florida. Still no rain or lightning. Is it supposed to rain or not? Doesn't matter what state you're in. What's the forecast say? Don't waste your money here. The managers are just as rude as the employees and will lie and make up excuses because

they want to leave early. It was slow. They just want to leave on time. Yeah, it was slow. And they were like, it's 6.30. We're not doing any more new ones. I'll be in my car. I'm not sitting around till 7.15 while you pedal your fucking ass back in here.

And the more you argue, the closer to seven we get. Yeah. Also, the more farther away from this, we're going. So Emily, one star, staff are super rude, cussing and not polite to all the people coming to ask questions. Cussing at people or at each other. Right, right. That's very different. They should really think about who they hire in a family-oriented location.

Will not be back and would not recommend. Okay. Isn't that nice? All right. Gilbert, one star. This is the craziest first sentence of all time. Here we go. And if you know Florida, like I said, the air is thick there.

Yeah. Every degree that it goes up is just, it's a weight on your shoulders. Quote, it was 94 degrees and beautiful with a nice breeze. Oh, boy. What the hell are you talking about? It was perfect. 94 degrees and beautiful. With a nice breeze.

A nice hot. Dude, that's a breeze that makes you wincely. Yeah. It's a blow dryer. That is 94 degrees is not beautiful. That's in Florida especially. We went there and waited in line. So you're standing in line at a 94 degree day in the sun.

Gross. Beautiful. The lady said she has only one boat with no cover or we can wait for one with a cover in 20 minutes. When we came back, they were shut down due to high winds. What high winds? They told us 30 minutes and to check back. Yeah, they don't want fucking cats. Sons with fucking children floating across this lake.

That's why. Who cares if it shipwrecks? Fuck them. The point is, with a breeze, with a quote-unquote nice breeze, try peddling through that. You can't do it. Also, it's got the roof thing. A breeze will take the swan over. It will take it over to the side.

You will be pedaling and go shabang. And you're not getting back in if there's a breeze blowing the opposite way. You are fucked. I came back three times up to 8 p.m. The weather was the same the whole time. Beautiful. Beautiful. This is Florida.

There's always going to be a nice breeze. No, I don't find that there. I find the air to be stifling when I go there. Like a wet blanket. They claim there, it's not even a blanket. It's like if you stripped a hairy man of all of his fucking, all of his hair and it's all wet and sweaty and just put it on you. That's what it feels like.

They claim they're watching the radar. They're going to keep closing most of the time. They might as well just close this business. Close it all down. Then the review goes on again. Okay. Hi. Here I am again on December 30th, 2020.

While we were waiting in line, one of the ladies working there was talking on the phone. She was cussing bad with a very filthy mouth. Oh, boy. What are you? An old church lady? This is a filthy mouth. It looks like a fucking 30-year-old man that we're talking about here in the picture. There are families in line

And many children around Including my children She wouldn't stop cussing And saying the F word And F is in quotes At least six times I don't know her name But she was thin black with dreadlocks

You don't talk like that While on the job in front of customers Especially around children I am deeply offended Oh boy But your judgment sucks Because you think 94 degrees is beautiful So

I don't trust your judgment at all Brittany, one star. Yeah. It's a disease down there. Quote, it was 90 degrees and beautiful. What is... This is why I could never live in Florida. Isn't it nice out today?

And I'm covered in sweat with clothes drooping off me going, what are you talking about? I'm dying. How? How? 90. East Coast 90. No.

East Coast, Center, Florida. The beach. If the beach is like 85, I've been in San Diego, 85, and I'm like, it's a little warm, but this is tolerable. It's tough. 90 degrees. You got the ocean breeze. 90 degrees inland, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Dude. That is awful. In New York, when it's 82, it's, if it's humid, you are in deep shit. Like, if it's 86 and humid, you're like, oh, kill me now. If it's 94, you don't go outside at all. It's awful. Yeah. 94 dry heat is awful.

It's not good. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. This is, ugh. I can't imagine. It was 90 degrees and beautiful. They were shut down due to high winds.

Right. Yeah. You can't peddle in that. I promise you. What high winds? Again. And these people, this is from different times. This is not like a couple that decided to leave the same review.

They told us 30 minutes and to check back. We stayed there for about two hours and they were still staying closed due to inclement weather, but it was a beautiful day. What do you think the moment? motivation would be for them to sit there at work not making money. Right. Do you think they want that? Right.

They don't want to get sued when you go out there and capsize your swan and your kids drown and then you sue them. That's what they're looking to avoid. A hundred percent. That's it. It's not like they shut down and they go out to lunch. They have to sit there. And I've rented a paddle board.

I borrowed a paddle. My sister rents paddle board. So I borrowed one of hers and I went out on the lake. It was just a breeze, James. I could not get back to shore. I was terrified that that's where I live. A breeze. A fucking breeze.

And this is a swan that's giant. That thing catches so much wind. This is a paddleboard. Yeah. It's got a roof thing over it. It's going to catch all the wind. You're sailing, man. You're not coming back.

You're not coming back. And then you're going to complain about that. My legs burn. I'm having back spasms. And they wouldn't come get me. Wait till it dies down. Yeah. We stayed there for about.

Two hours, and they were still saying clothes due to inclement weather, but it was a beautiful day. I was here visiting, two hours. And this was, this was the only pretty day during my visit. Seems like the workers were riding the clock. Okay, sure. They should really, it's not like they have to pedal for you. They don't, you go pedal and they sit there and wait for you. They don't care.

Don't make me defend anything in Florida. No, I know. I'm defending swan boat assholes. Now, they should really change this procedure or the monitoring of the weather. Kayla, one star, the man with dirty blonde hair and beard was extremely rude and unwelcoming. He was extremely impatient toward our group and others as well. Will not be returning because of his horrible attitude. Okay.

Well then, he's got it too. Tanya, one star, got there three minutes late at 633 and the workers had no compassion. in understanding that my Groupon was expiring in a few days and I needed to use it today as my last chance. Yeah. Okay. You got there late and you have a fucking old coupon. Who's fault is this now? Yeah.

It sounds like you missed your opportunity to use your Groupon. Sounds like you didn't want a swan boat too badly, did you now? Why'd you buy that? No, shit. And you're late. You said it. I drove an hour to come to Lake Eola Park for them to deny a service. No, you're not acting like you rolled up and they had someone with a wheelchair and they were like, fuck you,

cripple and like rolled you down a hill. You showed up late with an almost expired Groupon. Fuck off. And it's the last chance you've got to use it, so now you're not going to get to use it. And they say, worst customer service ever and telling us they would not honor an expired coupon in the future and to call Groupon for a refund. Yeah, right. Complete jerks. Swan jerks.

Helo Swan Star. There was a gentleman at the front table that cut the long. two minutes early when a boat was coming in and everyone was already gone. It was one more boat ride and we would have came at $6.59. Thank God I did not spend my money. Just because they never expire doesn't mean it's not a waste to pay just to be told no. Apparently if you go there and get the tickets, they don't expire, but if you get them on Groupon, Groupon expired.

Expire. Yeah. One star from John. Employees not friendly at all. No thank you. All right. I asked for a pick. He was so lazy, took it wrong.

The experience was not worth the money. Don't waste it. I need a photo shoe. Is his job a photographer or is his job guy who goes, getting that fucking swan and go? We think his job is. I'm surprised nobody's showed up yet in Florida going, oh, they're not even real swans.

Yeah, I wanted to ride an actual swan. This is bullshit. This reminds me, we had the security guy in Washington, D.C., who was awesome. for our live show. This dude was the best. We're hanging out, Zzo, we're hanging out outside with him

and we're smoking weed and doing shit and waiting. And people had passed by that were going to the show or whatever, and they'd see us and they'd be like, oh, shit, you guys, and they'd want to take a picture or whatever. And all of them would go to Zoh because Zoh is the guy who, only guy who wasn't going to be in the picture. Yeah.

So they go to Zoh and they go, will you take a picture? He has his hands in his hoodie pocket and he just goes, nah. And that's it. He just says, nah, stone-faced is shit without moving. And they're just holding their phone out. His hands are in his pockets. He's moved on.

He's stopped looking at him and he's on to another thought. And they just go, okay? Like, they don't know. They have no idea. I've never seen it stop a human being in their tracks faster than that. So funny. It was so funny. And he didn't tell them why.

No. He's right. I'm great. I've got it under control. We don't need to involve anybody. It's like, no. But his reasoning is the most genius thing I've ever heard. My job is security.

If I'm holding the camera, what the fuck am I security? Yeah, I'm securing anything. Someone come up from behind. All right, fair enough. Best dude ever. That guy was great. We want to hire him to come with us on those places. I want him to hire him as our third best friend.

He's going to wander around with us. Show to show. Let's do it. So fun. He'd come out to dinners out before the shows. We pay very shitties, though. You're welcome anywhere. You're absolutely welcome.

to come hang out with us. We're in D.C. You're our guy. Okay. Henry, one star. Extremely rude and lazy employees. There's a pattern going on here. Yeah. I've been here three times trying to ride and every single time it's a different excuse. I wish all those lazy employees get fired and get new employees that can actually do the work. What is the work? That swan? That's the work? You're the one paddling. Yeah. Jesus. To Kenya, one star. Young kids working there. always finding reasons to close down and leave early. I went there three times and they closed three hours early.

Three hours. Yeah, it's very unreliable here. Now here's Pat, one star. Nice boat ride, but the older lady was very rude and short. So now it's not even, that's not nice. Maybe she's rude, but, you know, do you have to call her short? That's mean. Yeah.

Take easy. Come on. We got feelings. Yeah. I would take my business to another company next time. You should too. Best of luck finding another swan boat rental.

And finally, Acela, one star, too many homeless and everything too dirty. Well, I mean, that's a city. Well,

swan boats are catnip to homeless people. We all know that. They can't help it. They go right to them. Everybody's known that. Okay, let's get the hell out of Orlando. I cannot wait. And let's go somewhere else.

Let's go overseas. What do you say here? What do you got? Going far away from Orlando. Going to the Crescent Shopping Center in Dora Doyle Road in Limerick, Ireland. Limerick, like a rhymy thing. Yeah, Irish stuff. We're going to the omniplex cinema Limerick.

So this is their movie theater. I'll show you. It's very red in there. Oh, what? Red seats. Very. Very red. Carpet is red.

The walls are red. Contrasts are. It's like a Kubrick movie. Like the way the contrasts are, like it's very contrasted. Yeah, it looks almost Twin Peaks even. Almost, yeah. It's got 4.2 stars with 2,000 reviews, so that's not bad. A lot of people go there. So here's Raja Manor.

Raja Manor, five stars. Happened to view Predators movie today in Max. Predators? Was that a new predator movie that came out? It is, yeah. It's a month ago. Okay. Yeah, it's a new one.

I was amazed with the picture, sound quality, along with complete renovation of this cinema, spacious walkways, fantastic seats, sparkling clean cinemas, restrooms, very clean, appreciate Omniplex, felt delighted to be here. Thanks. Great. Not bad. Here's another five stars. Maurice, last name, O'Brien, shockingly. Is that right?

In Limerick, Ireland. Maurice, O'Brien. That's a black guy. Maybe. In America, it is anyway. Five stars. The new revamped cinema is probably the best cinema in the South. I guess South in Ireland.

We were there today to watch Superman and was so comfortable on the recliner chairs. We ordered pizzas to the chairs. This place is great. You don't order pizzas here. Fresh ingredients and fresh dough. Do not go anywhere else. Well done. How about it?

Yeah, not bad. Shelly one star. And this is great because you have to picture it in a very Irish accent, which makes it funnier. Overall, crap cinema, which is very funny. Ordered three pots of cheese for our popcorn, three pots of cheese. That's a fascinating measurement. A pot? I'll take a pot of cheese.

Wow. Does they mean it has to be a cup? Ramican? Yeah. It has to be what they call a cup or a ramekin, a pot, which is crazy. Wow. for our popcorn online. What?

What are you dipping popcorn and cheese? What are you doing over there? I guess it's probably sprinkle cheese that goes over it. Three pots of it? I guess it's a pot. I don't know. And the who I presume as the manager had a meltdown about it, saying it's not an option. Yeah, because it's, what the fuck do you need nacho cheese for your?

Why do you need a pot? A popcorn for it? This is crazy. saying it's not an option and how we didn't even manage to order it when we shouldn't, I'm sorry, how did we even manage to order it

when it shouldn't be on the website? It's cheese sauce. Yeah, they want cheese sauce for the popcorn. They ordered pots of cheese. And popcorn. Boiling fondue cheese. If you poured it on the popcorn, all you'd have would be kernels in the bottom.

A mass, yeah. It would melt everything to nothing. And how do you dip popcorn? It's a tiny. It would break when you did it. What are you doing? You can't do that. Yeah, I would have yelled at you, too.

I said, you're a moron. I would like a crock of cheese, please, for my popcorn. It's so weird. I would like a king cab of cheese, please. Just weird cheese measurements. Okay. It's not a big deal, but according to his attitude, it was. Terrible customer service.

No personal skills with customers. No such thing as enjoy the movie guys, quote, unquote. worse things happen in the world and this guy's making an issue over the smallest thing. You're the one writing a huge paragraph online about fucking you can't dip your popcorn and cheese sauce

which no one's ever done in the history of this fucking planet. Believe me. You're not garnering sympathy or support. We're Americans. If there is something that cheese sauce goes on we'll fucking find it. We put cheese on our vegetables. We don't give a fuck. Do you understand? We put cheese on

everything and we have never, ever thought to put melted cheese on fucking popcorn. Because how the fuck do you do it? You need to move to Arkansas and fuck off. And show them how to do it because they're going to lose their fucking hillbilly minds. They will love it. You mean I can have heart disease even faster? I can have heart disease and diabetes. Oh, man, this is great.

Okay. Normally go to the view, which is much better. or omniplexes dated and screens are tiny. No, it's not. It's great. It's fine. You just can't get cheese on popcorn and that's what you're upset about. You're mad that someone called you out for your weird fucking taste.

Yeah. You tried to get a cassidia with popcorn. That's far. That's a strange thing. Could I get a tortilla with that too? Chloe one star came here tonight to see a movie and as we finished at around half nine, I guess 930, we noticed a very angry staff member. with dyed red hair and a piercing.

It's every time, what is it? She's got metal in her face. Look at her, acting aggressive toward other staff members and slamming a door. Maybe she's in charge. Maybe she, or perhaps she was just sexually harassed. You never know. Genuinely seem like she was either on something

or about to hit somebody. She's clearly on drugs. She's got to be on drugs, man. It's not appropriate to act like that, in my opinion, as a manager of a business myself. Myself and my partner were shocked. As the staff member only seemed about 20 and seemed to be rude to everybody, it was quite

startling. I think she thinks she's the manager. Is she the manager or not? Or something, or seemed to be on a power trip of some sort. Either way, it put me and my partner off the place because there was just a vibe people could sense that was off as if the staff were fighting. Anyway, this girl seemed fit, not fit for work. She was shouting at other staff members, and honestly, it was quite scary.

You've mentioned that. Are you watching the movie or not? Yeah. I don't give a fuck about the office politics behind the popcorn counter. I don't care. That is your thing. I'm coming here for leisure. You know, Jesus.

I'm coming here because the air conditioning is free. Yeah, well, it's Ireland. I mean, when I go to the movie, there, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. So, quite scary. But there was another lovely girl with blonde hair and glasses serving at the cashier,

and I just want to say she's a credit to this place. The girl always has a smile on her face, whether we're seeing a movie, or I'm sorry, whenever we're seeing a movie, and is probably the most friendly staff member there. Omniplex, please sort this issue with that other staff out, that other staff out. There's no need for anger and,

door slamming. It's actually quite scary for customers. Holy fuck lady. Yeah. Or you could go well I guess we'll get better service now. One of the two, I don't like people. Well, that's that. I'm going in this movie theater where it's quiet. Something's going on here. Yeah. That's all I go,

ooh, I'm glad I don't work here. And then I go to the movies. I don't know. I would like people to not get yelled at too, but none of my business, honestly. I've never been around the employees long enough to no. And they're usually busy

up on anything. Scooping popcorn and slinging gobers and doing whatever the fuck else. You're going to go in and sit down to watch three men and a baby and sit there going, man, the vibe out there is so weird. Jesus, when did it become 1987? What's going on? Why is everybody shouting out there? My God. Watch a movie.

My God, Steve Gutenberg is in a movie. What's happening right now? What time capsule did I get it? Yeah. I got a feeling he's a dick, James. He's got to be or else he would have been. Yeah. I got a feeling.

He has to be. Or people just went, that's enough. Yeah. What else are we going to? Sarcasm. That's his tool. We got enough of those guys. We've squeezed every drop of the Guten magic we can out of him.

We don't need sarcasm. We have Chris Pratt. He does it too. He's awful, though. That's what I mean, though. I'd rather revive Steve Gutenberg from wherever he. He's a better actor anyway, I think. She was great in short circuit.

You know what I mean? Yeah, he was. Yeah. One star. Lads. What is the? this customer service. Lads.

What is it, lads? Absolutely appalled by the attitude of one particular worker whom had red colored hair and eyebrows and took. And eyebrows. And eyebrows. To match them. Yeah. Like, oh, she had eyebrows when he batted her back.

Wow. And took particular interest in the customers that looked youthful. She seemed to have an aptitude for giving attitude for no reason at all. an aptitude for attitude that is amazing because they're fucking poets that's why that's incredible and they helped name our episode

that's why they're great aptitude for attitude for giving attitude attitude for no reason at all seen the same worker interrogate a young person about their age I do not think I will return to this particular establishment were they asking for ID to see a movie that was rated a certain rating

I'm disgusted about this, and they were demonizing my brother, demonizing him. Really? And questioning my mother of my age, despite my many tattoos and piercings that were professionally done. Well, that makes all the difference. Totally unacceptable. He's not like a nine-year-old. You just stab them. Everybody can tell when you have professional tattoos, meaning you are old enough to go get a professional tattoo.

Exactly. Everybody can tell. Everyone can tell. Michael One Star. Yeah. Deep breath exhale. These are with the stars around it. Okay, let me start off by saying,

I'm in a fit of tears. Oh. And my two beloved companions went to watch a movie, went to watch a motion picture, sorry. Jesus. They went there for a talkie, see? Al Jolson was singing. We had to hear it on the big screen.

A motion picture on the big screen. What about the silver screen? Oh, boy. It's the golden age of howlestone. Hollywood. Jesus Christ. We were so happy jumping with joy. What? This person is crying, needing a deep breath in an exhale, and jumping with joy all without a period or any punctuation whatsoever. Their emotions have swung so far. We were so excited. We were so excited to see this motion picture. We were jumping. We were this motion picture film. We were jumping for joy. We decided to get some soda pop. What year is this review? you written from. Is this 1946? What's happening? He wrote Soda Pop. Went to get some soda pop. Went to get some soda pop down at the drugstore. Yeah. There was a cute little dame down there. I said, oh boy. Look at her. I took my fedora off and I said, listen, darling, let me buy you a Sunday.

Okay, soda pop and chill out before the flick started. But the pop was so delicious. We finished it all. Burp. There's a burp. I hate this person. I'm waiting for why this person's crying. Jesus Christ. We made our way to the main reception of the establishment to refill our beverage cups with some more tasty, chilled soda. When all of a sudden, hey, freeze!

In quotes. They got their guns drawn? I was going to say. I don't think over there they immediately think someone's got a gun pointed at you, whereas I think that's an American thing exclusively. Likely. Said a man's voice, trembling in fear. We slowly took.

There is no periods in this, by the way. What? I'm figuring out what are sentences and what aren't because I want to know the story. And if I just read it out, we're not going to get it. Said a man's voice trembling and fierce. So we slowly turned around and lo and behold, there was a worker named Paul behind us. And he was calling from inside the house. They got a flashlight up.

A bit too close for comfort. So we stepped back in sync. We said, hey, don't step. Don't step on foot closer, I guess one foot closer. Pimply Paul. Don't set one foot closer, pimply Paul. Or there will be consequences. Chill out, dude.

Me and the girls began to make our way back to the screen when we were violently grasped by the scruff of the neck. Oh. And held in the air like Tom and Jerry. All right. That didn't happen. There's three of you? Yeah.

There's three of you And Did Pimpley Face Paul have three arms to scruff neck three people? He must have and he's also giant and they're like honey I shrunk the kids as well Because you could pick them up by the scruff of the necks of the little feet kick That's nice In the air And held in the air like Tom and Jerry

He was asking the CER identification cards When we refused he spun around in a 360 And threw us out the door So this guy He spun him around like to gain like a shot put to gain fuck or a discus to gain torque. Yeah, yeah. So he could fire it off. Threw us out the door.

It's safe to say me and the girls will never be returning. Also mold everywhere and pissy stench coming from the seats. Also there's rats. What the fucker did we just hear? I don't think any of that happened. I don't think it happened either. I think it just smells like piss in there. Maybe so.

That's all. Christopher One Star. Horrible attitude from the workers. Red-haired woman. Could you be more specific? It's Ireland. Does you have red eyebrows as well? Yeah.

Red-haired woman does not give any clue here. Found joy in walking over to me and interrogating me about my age. Sounds like red-haired woman is the age interrogator here. When I went to watch a movie, never coming back, I'd rather go to the View or Odion. girl had serious power trip and attitude for no valid reason whatsoever. None of that, lads, horrendous behavior, absolutely hard experience, never coming back. So, there we go. Eam, I don't know, EHM.

The Irish have names that are spelled one way and said completely, completely different. I mean, Jesus Christ, you got to be kidding me. one star, they would not let groups of children above six of them into the cinema and the prices are ridiculously expensive. Over 12s in groups are not allowed in as they are ridiculously paranoid and their assistant manager is very incompetent person who does not know how to do her job to the max of her abilities and the cashiers are very stupid and not able to make their own decisions. Finally a period. Jesus. That sounds like they mean like no team. teenagers.

No teenagers. Right. Yeah, because they're fucking assholes. Yeah. I just went to watch a horror movie. They let eight kids sit in the front row and the phone rang in the horror movie. One of those little motherfuckers goes, hello, and then the whole row laughs. I'm like, you motherfuckers, I'm going to kill all of you.

I'm a 44-year-old man that's 68. Shut up, Mike Nelson. We get it. And then a scary part was about to come up and they ruined it because they're laughing. Unless you bring two robots with you. Fuck off. I don't want to hear your commentary. Thankfully, the manager came in,

stood in front of the screen and was pointing at the door. She removed all of them without anybody saying a word. It was amazing. When you're, the problem with that, too, is when you're a teenager, going to the fucking movies is about all you're allowed to do when you're 13 and you're on your own. That's independence. Right.

You know what I mean? So, like, that kind of sucks. That takes a lot of experiences away from these kids. It's also hard to manage that now, like with this rule, because you can buy tickets online. So if everybody buys their ticket online, and then we all sit in the same row, then we've got tickets,

but you don't know that we're all sitting together. No, that's an absolute fact. It's fucked. All the cinemas are very small and tight, but the max screen. But the max screen. So there's no punctuation again. So if you are claustrophobic,

you would not have a nice time. Is it a closet? Or is it a smaller movie theater? What are you talking about? But it's a movie theater. Remember when we were kids and they were like, fucking 40,

a hundred seats? in there? They don't have 100 seats in them anymore. No, no, no, they have giant ones or nothing. Yeah. 40 to 50 seats. That's it. Yeah. Big giant seats or yeah. Right. Big giant seats on a tiny room. That's, yeah. They do not clean up after showings of a movie, so it's very messy

and you may be uncomfortable if you have OCD. Well, you know what? If you have this many problems, maybe the movie theater is for you. You shouldn't be in public. If you are, yeah, if you have OCD, if you're a obsessive, obsessive, compulsive, fucking claustrophobic, Maybe the movie theater isn't for you.

Yeah. Get a Tostitos thing of cheese and sit on with popcorn. Rock that shit. Yeah. They do not have anyone to stop people for making noise or attacking you with food or physical action. What? People beating you or throwing fucking food at you. I do like to flick popcorn at people.

Oh, that's fun. They discriminate children and large groups of people, six plus people. The popcorn at times can be stale and tasteless. That's the movie theater. That's popcorn. The nachos are ridiculously expensive for such a small portion of them. They have these fantastic and Coke-type things that are very queer, stupid, and disgusting texture and taste. I don't know.

Anybody know what any of that means? No. Fantastic and Coke-type things. I don't know. I would seriously advise to... to go to Showtime Cinema if you are in Limerick. All right. Lily, one star.

My review of this cinema, it is terrible. The staff are extremely rude. Example, we showed proof of ID that we are 16 and he laughed in our face and he said, he didn't give a shit, quote unquote. I don't give a shit, lads. Lasses. Is that a saying that's around the world? I don't give a shit?

Because that's absolutely an American thing, right? It has to be. But yeah, it's traveled. It's to Ireland. I love it. I love it. So we went outside and sat down as we were not allowed in them, and we got asked to move, so we moved inside, then got security on us, and we had already paid 60 euro for our tickets, which is... God damn.

And we were not allowed a refund. I would like to press charges. Thanks. The theft. I've been robbed. Wow. Sheridan, one star. This is very bad.

There were a lot of people talking, and I got kicked out, the less popular C-I-C-K-E-D spelling of that. I got kicked out because someone else hit a seat and I got the blame, B-L-A-Y-M, and I found a spider in the nachos and cheese. Okay, that should have been your opening. That's crazy. You never find spiders in food. That's different. Get the blame. B-L-A-Y-M.

That is crazy. Crazy. B-L-A-Y-M. That is something. It's almost impressive to make up a new spelling of blame. It's very cool. Wow. Ahmed, one star, you don't help people like me. I called and I asked for a job, and I said I will pay for the visa and the ticket from my salary for two months, and you go, no. Help. From Libya, I'm 17. I'm in Libya. I need out. Please give me a job. Star, yeah, I'll pay for it. You just need to get, yeah, take it just my first two months. You can just take it and I'll pay back the visa.

I don't think movie theaters do that. I don't think there's any employer on this planet that's like taking phone calls. If it was a special job skill that only you had. But Livia, I'll fill popcorn. No, we got them local. It's a goddamn movie. They're like the 2 o'clock showing of Superman starts soon. Like, what do you want from us?

See you at Predators. We don't give out cheese. with popcorn. Can you help me pay for my visa? What? I don't know how to help you there. Michael One Star, never seen a place so dirty. Mm-hmm.

And Ellen here, this is fun. That's it? No, Ellen, one star, they never seen a place so dirty. One Star, the manager and sidekick were bullying us outside the cinema. Is that a title? I am the sidekick. What is this? What is this?

What the? Fuck. That is an Irish hand. Yeah, it's super white in one part and super red in another part. It's very Irish. Got bullied. And the last

couple here, Sean Christopher one star, got kicked out, definitely prank calling later. I'll get my revenge. Got kicked out. We'll fuck with these people for the rest of my high school years. I can't wait to ask him

if the fridge is running. Oh, that's going to be great. Lucy One Star, the main one and side chick were bullying us outside the cinema. That one chick is mean, boy. This is awesome. I love that they have a sidekick and a side chick. Side chick and side kick. Is that a title?

Either way, there is a 20-year-old Redhead who is aggressive, and she apparently has drafted a lieutenant into her ranks. It's got a cap-oh. She absolutely has a fucking, has a stoolie now. Capo, God. It's fucking, yeah, exactly. Oh, God. Oh, that's incredible. J.C. one star.

Cinema is starting to look grody and sticky. Yeah. From spills of sugary drinks. Some of the seats are not broken. Well, that's positive. Okay. That's positive. Talk about looking, seeing a glass three quarters.

a quarter full. Some of the seats aren't broken. Some are sound system not too good either. Men's toilet smells. Well, that's to be expected. Good. Does it taste? Yeah, what's it taste like?

Altogether, not very pleasant experience. And, of course, not point in talking to management because they are all off duty in the evenings whilst the other managers couldn't give a damn. Don't give a shit Don't give a shit Okay Let's go As far away from

My favorite movie experience We've had yet That was so far Yeah they're so fun The Irish you know Would have some insults And some weird food choices Yeah

So And in their defense Up until like 10 years ago All they had were boiled meat And potatoes That's all they had to eat So they found cheese sauce And they're probably

Dipping everything in it Because it's new Let's head as far away from here as we can and do maybe the most American thing humanly possible. Disneyland, what is it? No, no. I figure either most American thing possible

either buy an assault rifle from a parking lot legally or go to the Golden Corral buffet. Either one of those. Those are the two. Buy a gun in a parking lot for cash. Of a Golden Corral. And then go in and eat. Yeah, with cash and that's legal. Okay, Golden Corral

buffet and grill. This particular one. And grill. And grill now. Please, like you're grilling things. Stop it. Fuck out of here. There's no gas in this entire place. Hell no.

It's a microwave. This is at 4520 Union Square Drive, Anchorage, Alaska. Oh, my. An Alaskan Golden Corral here. This place, somehow, they must, the food must suck in Alaska because this has 4.1 stars out of 3,100 reviews. They are tired of halibut and salmon. They are sick of elk meat.

And fucking caribou. They've had it. It's over. I've had enough fillet of caribou, thank you. If you don't know what a golden corral is, maybe your Irish family-friendly buffet chain featuring all you can eat American fare plus salad and dessert bars. It's terrible. It's the worst food you can have.

Lots of pots of cheese. So much cheese. Ruby five stars. The food was great. Service was pleasant. Pretty sure we were hobbling. out after tearing up the buffet. Oh, you ain't enough golden corral to alter your gate.

Holy shit. To be hobbled. To be hobbled. To be hobbled. My God. Reinforce your toilet, lady. Yes, it's going to hurt. Wow.

Definitely a five star for a full buffet. If you're looking to get fuller than a tick on a dog's back. Jesus. Here's your place. Oh, my God. Jesus. Now, they have it. I don't know if this is.

true. The website here, like Google, says $10 to $20 per person reported by people. This person has it down as $30 to $50 per person. What? Which would be, I get in Alaska, you got to bring stuff. I'm not paying $50 for golf or go to chow. Yeah. You're going to get a much better experience. $50 is a real restaurant. That's absurd. Yeah. $50, you don't have to scoop anything out with a long spoon. They'll just put it in front of you. But you are getting lasagna and crab legs. That is true.

You don't get that in other places. Abel, four stars. The food was good. The crowd wasn't too bad. That's a compliment for a golden corral. Yeah. I usually like chocolate fudge. Okay.

Usually. Great. Which they didn't have, but eventually white fudge came out. Ew. Okay. The steak ribs and, and I don't know. Jimmy, please help me with this. Creamed sausage.

I didn't know you could cream a sausage, man. I'm so scared. Creamed sausage? What the fuck is that? What is that? How do you cream? I mean, apart from rub on it a lot, how do you cream sausage? What the fuck?

That's getting sausage to cream. How do you cream the sausage? That's the problem. I mean, if she sits on it, I don't know. I can get the sausage to cream. if I suck on it enough, but I don't know how to make no cream sauce. Creamed sausage? Creamed sausage?

Is that gravy? I don't know. I've never heard of creamed sausage before. The man has a... It's a ready to process. You had the meat inside. You shouldn't have put it in a casing if you wanted to cream it. What are we doing?

Why would you cream this? You had ribs, man. Why did you go to creamed sausage? Creamed sausage. I know, I'm so... Sounds like rations, man. By cream. Yeah.

like some World War II shit. Yeah. World War ratches. When you run out of shit on a shingle, we have cream sausage for you. In your MRE. So, wow, the cream sausage were amazing. But the cakes left a lot to be desired. Well, you have white fudge.

So shut up. The service was lacking at first, but toward the end, we got great family-friendly service. They didn't even molest my kids. It was great. Nobody fucked in front of us. It was perfect. Family-friendly service. What does that mean?

Princess, one star. Well, princess already is so that's a bad sign. Yeah. You've got a royal label. Is that what it is? That's what it is. And this is from very recently. On November 28th,

me and the husband decided to eat at this restaurant because I haven't had Golden Corral since 2014 on a field trip. Okay. 12 years she's been waiting to say me and husband. My husband grabbed three plates of food, and I'm typically a one plate at a time connoisseur. For the course, I had ham, mash, and salad with some healthy toppings. Then I went on to my second plate.

We piled it high with pure shit. Ham and potatoes and a salad. That's my starter. That's her first course. Then I went on to my second plate. I had the fried shrimp, rice with veggies, and tamales. You're eating Golden Corral tamales. And Golden Corral Shrimp.

Oh, yeah. And, oh, God. For dessert, I had carrot cake, fudge brownie, and peach cobbler. Golly. Jesus, lady. Tying it on. She's made it sound like she was talking shit about her husband's three plates. Meanwhile, she's got triple-fisted desserts.

This is her third plate also. Oh, man. The food at the start was great. I felt great eating it, but something felt off with me. I noticed no staff was checking temps on the meat. It's golden corral. They put it out till it's gone, and then they slop a bunch more on top of it. They don't care.

Yeah, they got more in the microwave. Yeah. Cold food wasn't being checked, and they just walked aimlessly inside the restaurant. After we finished our food and left the buffet, on the ride back home, I started to feel ill and needed to lie down in my bed. I have started to have a sore throat. What? Then when, okay, I don't think that's, I've never heard of that.

You didn't get strep throat. From cold meat, from cold cream sausage. I don't think that happens. Then went to pressure in my face, frontal lobe of my brain and body weakness. You got the flu. What the fuck? Yeah, you got the flu. We're having a stroke, one of the two.

If you've read this by now, I'm hopefully recovered. You're reading this by now. What? I may be dead. If you're reading this, I may be gone. Is that what they're saying? I'm from my death then. I write this. I'm utterly.

Holy shit. But it took just about three days for me to recover. Let this be a warming, not a warning, a warming. That if no staff is checking temps or the food seems undercooked, please, I implore you to walk out of this restaurant. They do not care about. customer's health and could lead to serious consequences. Thank you.

P.S., we had to pay $37 for me to get sick. Good Lord. This is the deal you make with Golden Corral. You're going in, you're going to eat a ton of crap and caution to the wind. You might get sick, you might not. Who knows? This is why restaurants exist that are just a specific fare, because you can't mix crab legs and cream tosses.

The only people that can do that are Greeks that own diners. Somehow they can make a 73-page menu all good. I don't know how they can do it, but they do it. Yeah, they'll make disco fries, but also make a sick lasagna. Yeah, also literally have a grilled halibut on the menu. You're like, what's going on here? All the while, whipping up a sick baklava. It's crazy.

So here we go. One star from Michaela. went to grab a scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy and found this cockroach crawling around on the glass where the food is in the bottom. So the sneeze guard. Yeah. And there's a picture, by the way.

It's a roach on it. Oh, it's a roach. Oh, dear Lord. Low on the guard, too. It's about six inches. I mean, if he slips, he's going right into the gravy. Yeah. But it's not going to be clean glass.

He's going down. I can hear it like wind decks. Told the waiter, the guy that advertises as Superman. What? A waiter at Golden Corral says his name is Superman, apparently. And dismissed it by saying that they sprayed bug spray in the areas that were at, that we're, I guess we're at. And now they are coming out of their hiding spot. Oh, don't worry.

They're just coming out. Oh, no, they're coming out. Then they'll go back once the bugs. What are you talking about? out. They're trying to get away from poison, so they're eating your food. So they come here. Don't worry. They'll die, too, from the shit you're eating.

What this tells you, though, is we don't spray poison on the food, so that's positive. That's proof. They're going where there's proof where everything's fine. That's proof. That's the only spot in here that isn't poison. It's right where you scoop your shitty food on. Everything else, pure poison, but here your spoon around.

There shouldn't be any high. spot. There should be dead. We waited too long to spray. So we sprayed and now they're all coming out. That's what happened. That's what happened. He was being honest. And then the manager said, would you tell that person? Oh, I told them they going, what? You told them? Why did you say that? Say it must have a stupid man. Must have flown in the fucking door when someone came in last. I don't know. We don't have roaches. That's what you say, stupid. What's wrong with you? Superman, my ass. You're an idiot.

Yeah, you're a dumb shit. Holy shit. John, one star, went there the other night, and it was so slow like our server. Superman? Superman? Slower than a speeding bullet. Gotta be Superman. Well, first, she kind of rude, I guess.

She doesn't like big party of ten people. Didn't even ask us, how's our food or refill our water. They know how the food is. Mediocre and cheap. Golden Corral? Middle of the road, man. Dude, Golden Corral, you put your pile of your plates up at the edge of the table. Yeah.

They come and pick it up. That's all I expect from a server. That's all the service that they do. That's it. The dirty shit disappears and they feed it to the roaches. They go put it in the hiding spots. And you hear, as they devour it under there. They eat the plate, too.

Oh, yeah, you put everything in. It's gone. or at least check on us. Also, she doesn't have her name tag. She was in the ice cream section. Black hair like native slash Asian with glasses. It's Alaska.

Probably in Alaska. If you want to see how terrible Americans are, ask them to describe a person without a name. Yes. Well, I mean, even the Irish, though. Red hair, eyebrows piercings. I don't know. Fucking that one.

Same thing. with glasses. Food was okay, paid over $150 because they had 10 people. So that makes sense. They have price per person, $100 plus on their review. Price per literally dozen is $100 plus. It's a little bit of math, but you'll get there. You've got a phone for Christ's sake.

We get it. It's hard. We know. Mike One Star, usually a great experience, but tonight was horrible. We go here quite often. and usually it's close to $200 for a party size. So that's 15 people. Oh, my God.

Tonight, the guy doing the grill was rude. They have a grill. I can't believe it. Wow. It's got to be pretend. It's a guy back there just like picking meat up, putting it down, then painting little lines on it. It's got to be, right? He's got a sharpie back there.

Yeah. Why do you want to? I get some dry ice for smoke. Why do you want to talk to that guy? He's not serving you. There's no way that he's not taking it off the grill and putting on plates, right? Maybe because he said wouldn't give us more than a two to three bite size piece of meat. They give you a little tiny pieces of steak there.

Food was pretty old and lots of food was empty, so it was a really limited dinner. Worst part was their service. Our waitress never came to our table in the one and a half hours we were there, never got a refill, had to clean our own table. All the tables around us were dirty and people coming in had to clean their own table to sit down. I'm not busing my table to sit down. No, that's not happening. I'm good. This place is filthy enough anyway.

Goodbye. I'm just pointing. Clean that, please? Somebody clean this? What the fuck? Just a really bad experience tonight and makes me not want to go back. The waitress had the nerve to ask why we left no tip. And when we told her, she replied, not my fault.

It's busy. Oh, boy. Okay. Anyway, they did give the food a two out of five, whereas the service only got a one. Gerald, one star. I called multiple times tonight about the Mongolian beef and was pushed away by a rude group of staff and management especially. They would not listen to me and treated me with no dignity.

Were you demanding Mongolian beef or were you asking this question? Don't come here if you want to enjoy eating. They refused to admit it was an item. It clearly is. Okay. I don't know if he asked for Mongolian beef and they said that's not a thing. thing and he said it does exist. They have beef in Mongolia.

Or if that item was on the buffet before, and they're saying it's not, and they're saying, you know, Mandela effect, you know what you're talking about? And he's saying, I've eaten the Mongolian beef here. When it was really a Panda Express where he was at, I'm not sure. If you're going to leave a review, make it make sense.

That helps. Express yourself. Them saying it's not an item when it clearly is. Why is it? That means that it just exists, right? Absolutely, I think. And then underneath it when they have all the like service, food, reservation, special events. Sure.

It's filled in completely wrong. Price per person, $100 plus. No, it's not. Reservations, reservation required at the Golden Corral. Reservation required. Now he's joking. If you call the Golden Corral and said, I'd like a table for four or at seven o'clock, They'd just hang up on you.

They wouldn't even... They go, yeah, we have it. Bye. Well, come on in, fat ass. Let's go. Come eat a bunch. Let's do it. Special events, live music, themed nights, seasonal slash holiday events.

No. Okay, no. There's no live band at the Golden Corral. This isn't a New Orleans jazz club. It's a fucking Golden Corral. They might have a season-themed menu. That's possible. But that's the extent of it.

Some pumpkin pie out in the fall possibly. Superman might put on a Santa hat. That's it. Extra fruit in the summer. I don't know. Menu is all vegetarian, it says, too. They're just trying to like, I'm going to take this place down with my lies. Leanne one star.

We were a large party of 10 that were having a little celebration get together. Wow. That's your celebration. Wow. Okay. For all 10 of you. Obviously, we spoiled a budget. It's one thing, but this food just sucks.

You could get better food. You could have used that money and bought a fuckload of good pizzas and sat at home. You could have bought a six-foot sub. Oh, yes. That would have been great. That's delicious. Fucking so good. Oh, so good.

Instead, you're at the Golden Corral. Obviously, we spent well over $200 for dinner. Food was pretty good other than no steaks available. Was told they don't cook as many because of waste. We're here and we'll eat them, so cook them now. There's this many we want this many. We're asking for them. No, sorry, you might waste them.

They've been wasted a lot. One bad apple, you know what I mean? That's how it goes. Sorry, guys. So what was cooked went very fast. Did not feel like standing 10 to 15 minutes in line. No, I'm not doing that at a bit. So they would have made them stakes, but they didn't want to wait.

If you stood in line behind 20 other people asking for stakes. How about just have steak out, you assholes? We were also told at 745 that if we would, If we wanted any dessert, we needed to get it as they were tearing down the dessert bar. 745. Let's go. Construction crew. Wow, it's all over now.

Disassemble the dessert bar. The guy with a sledgehammer hit the chobler. Card hat. Cigar hanging out of his mouth. Come on, lady. Grab it if you want it. I'm taking this thing out. Okay.

So they're tearing down the dessert bar. When we went up to the dessert bar, it was obvious they had let it get down to the bare minimum to avoid waste. At eight, we were told, we were literally told that they were closed and we needed to leave. It's eight, fuck off. We were sitting in the back area

with a large party that was also told the same thing. I understand you have open hours, but I don't think you have anything posted saying you will be run out exactly at 8 p.m. I think when it says closed, 8 p.m. Now, at a decent

restaurant, they're not, pushing people out the door unless they're just sitting there. Right. If they're eating food or ordering things, they'll stick around. At a decent restaurant, 745, they'll seat you. They'll hate you. You'll have a terrible experience. They'll still serve you.

They'll seat you. And we're talking apples. Yeah. We're there at six. If you're there at 6.30 and you're sitting there just shoveling shit in your face at 8 p.m. I think you've, the sign says all you can. You've seen it. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Signs say close. No, boy. They'll make for you. No. We go to Schwarma, man, for that. Yeah. So what happens when someone comes in at 7.40 to have dinner?

Well, if they come into a buffet 20 minutes before it closes, they're an asshole and they get nothing. Are they expected to eat in 20 minutes? We don't care. We didn't tell you to come at 740. Yeah, there's probably not going to be a lot sitting there for selection. No. Was a very disappointing end to our evening. Another concern is why no one says anything.

to the little kids running up and getting in the food. Because there's no age. They don't say kids aren't allowed to get food. You know what the sad part of this is? What is it? I really want to go to a shitty buffet now. That's, I really am craving a shit buffet food. Not Golden Corral, but like old school hometown buffet.

I'm craving. Remember the one by Metro Center over there? Sweet tomatoes. What's the other one? Sweet tomatoes is the nicer one, right? Super salad. Super salad. Super salad.

Oh, that's a shit buffet. Oh, it's good for salad. and everything else is comically bad. We used to go. I won't eat it. I won't go to. My dad loved Golden Corral. He died at 67.

I guarantee that's why. I guarantee it's a portion. It had to have contributed. They're certainly responsible. Sarah and I used to go to the super salad because it was, we were pork. Literally, we could both eat for $20 and have drinks. So we were like, oh, we can do it. So we get giant salads.

Then we go over to like the, quote, food section. And it was like, That real bad kids pizza cut up into like one by one inch squares. This taco meat where you'd look in it, you'd have to scoop under the oil to see if there was any meat in there because it was just a thing of oil. Give me some of the red. Yeah. That's what it was like. And this bad mac and cheese.

And I would fucking, I ate it all, man. I ate it all. Didn't care. Jesus Christ. Yep. Lexi, one star. I dined. I dined.

Yeah. Dined in. Dindin? I dined in. Yeah. At the Golden Corral. Oh, boy. You can't take it to go.

I mean, maybe you can't because Chinese buffets. They do it by weight. Maybe they do it by weight. Maybe. Can I get 12 pounds of prime rib to go, please? You get a thing, they weigh it. They go, eh, 23 bucks. That's good.

I dindin, and they lied about their prices. Their soda machine tasted moldy. I wasted $38. I have no idea how you can taste mold and soda machine. And I wasted $38 crazy for two people and two sodas. That seems decent. It's $19 a person, $16. Yeah.

It's a buffet. What do you want? That's what they call. Yeah. Samantha one star would give zero stars, period. Almost. But it's fine. The place to go for all your food poisoning needs.

Yeah. We got it all for you. here. Eight there yesterday. Haven't left the toilet since. She's writing this from the toilet. We'll never go back. Just a quick $20 for food poisoning.

Plus. I'm shedding and telling the public about it. You're just a quick $20 away from being on the toilet for a week. Isn't that nice? Plus, everything they had looked bad or tasted like cardboard. If you're in Anchorage, there's a million similar priced options. Save yourself the sickness and go somewhere else. might actually get something tasty.

Okay. Possibly. Quinn, one star. And we'll probably end it on this one here. Went to Golden Corral today. And let me say there was only one all-caps waiter that was extremely pleasant. Oh. As he had gotten off a shift, a waitress took his place.

I didn't catch her name, unfortunately. Oh, yeah, she's the nameless one. Remember, she doesn't, you don't get to, you know her. You're not allowed. Now, my girlfriend had her silverware taken on accident, so she asked for another set of silverware. She had given it to her no problem. I asked her for another set of silverware as well, in which I didn't receive any. And then I go to ask again about 15 minutes later.

I'd been eating with my hands for 15 minutes, and I decided... I'm shoveling lasagna in my face with my fucking hand. Jesus. And she snapped and said, again? Uh-huh. You guys really need to learn how to keep your silverware. where. Okay.

Or you do. Every buffet I've ever been to has those big things just full of you, just grab a fork. You guys a bat full of forks. And reluctantly grabbed another set for me and slammed it on the table. Never, in my experience working in the food industry, have I ever? Never. Was that disrespectful to a customer? I have severe social anxiety and hate asking for things.

That just made it completely worse. the rest of the time there, I felt I couldn't ask for anything. They don't want you to ask for anything. It's all over there. That's all self-serve. Yep, definitely not going here again after that. I guess not. Severe anxiety in public to ask for anything.

How do you leave the house? Everything is asked. We have to do one more. There's just one more we have to do. Everything is, yeah. Everything's an assistant. And he said he was a waiter. You couldn't go up and go.

Anything else I can get you? I don't want to. What if they're mad at me for asking that? You can't. How did you do that? Okay. Sour Patch Kid, one star. Went there excited.

You did. That was your first mistake. Left disappointed. Was eating fine until I noticed my glass of spite? Yes. Not spright. Spite. A glass of spite.

You got to go get a glass of spite. Glass of spite. It might be my favorite thing. Ah, that's fantastic. I'm asking. for that whenever I go anywhere, had a mysterious yellow thing on the bottom of the cup stuck.

Disgusted me and saw a lot of fingerprints on my silverware, which I'm fine to brush off. I didn't find hair in my food. That was definitely, oh, I didn't, was fine to brush off

if I didn't find hair in my food, is what they're trying to say. That was definitely not mine, seeing as it was a different color. You put it on your plate. Yeah. Jesus. Completely ruined my mood to eat souring my evening.

Okay, we'll leave it off there. The glass of spite. The glass of spite is the best way to leave it off. That is a lot. And we will pick up with Golden Corral because that is hilarious. We'll pick up with Golden Corral next week. Yeah. Have you ever gone to a buffet and been like, I expect all of this to be clean?

No, I go, I expect this to be. It's almost like going to a thrift store. It's an adventure. You pick through the food to fun. Ooh, that actually looks fresh and clean. Whereas that, you can see a crust building over the top of it. You don't want that. See the fingerprints where I can fucking frame somebody for murder with that fork?

Don't eat off of that one. Don't eat off of that way. It's like a little scavenger hunt. I enjoy it. That's why I like a buffet. It's like you keeps your brain working. You know what I mean? So thank you for all that you do for us.

Definitely go to shut up and give me murder.com and get your tickets for March 21st in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. It's a great club, too. That is going to be a fucking great show. So we're really excited for that. Thank you for all that you do for us. Thanks for hanging out. Tell your friends and keep coming back next week.

Thank you so much, everybody. Have a good one. Bye.