Your Stupid Opinions - Gangster Chicken, Deep Throat Spray, Sleepy Library, Six Flags Crying
Episode Date: April 8, 2024This week, we check out some wild reviews about a chicken joint that you may need to carry a gun, to get out of the parking lot. A Six Flags location that may make you cry in the bathroom. A ...numbing throat spray that allows you to do the physically impossible. A library that people think should include beds & much more!! Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello everybody and welcome back to your stupid opinions.
Yay!
Oh, I love it so much.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you for joining us on another hour of fun.
That's what this is.
Just an hour of our fun and other people's bad experiences.
So it's great.
And once again, these are not our opinions.
Actually, one will be this week because I'm going to give a review this week of a place.
But the rest of them, not our opinions at all.
These are other people's opinions we're going to read.
So buckle up because we got a lot of crazy stuff happening for you.
Check it out, by the way.
Make sure to rate and review.
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Except comedy, because we're doing them, so we can't help but make jokes.
That said, oh boy.
All right.
Let's dive back into this, because we left off last week.
We were walking around Six Flags over Georgia.
We tried to just go for a nice day at the amusement park.
That's all we're doing.
It's Six Flags. It's supposed to be. That's all we're doing. It's six flags.
It's supposed to be fun.
Yeah.
It's expensive.
It's loud.
I've already gotten messages about people who worked there or their family worked there.
And they're like,
it's fucking wild.
I bet.
It sounds like it.
We've left off with,
seems like it's an amusement park that specializes in weed,
smoke,
twerking,
and gunplay.
So far, swearing children and swearing children. It's an amusement park that specializes in weed smoke, twerking, and gunplay so far.
And swearing children.
And swearing children.
So let's find out what more people have to say about it.
Let's dive in with the one stars here.
With David, with a one star, worst amusement park our family has ever been to.
How many have you been to, David?
Probably not a lot.
Just those ones that are in like strip malls probably.
You know, with the carnies that smoke meth and then at the bottom and make your ride go motorcycles that go around in a circle exactly the park was dirty along with many things that
were unkept boat we observed trash under rides under them okay were you under the road yeah
what were you looking under the ride don't worry about what's under the ride.
That's none of your business.
Are you shirking people's lost cell phones, David?
There's carnies blowing each other.
Don't worry about under the rides.
It's a whole-
It is dirty down there.
It's like under the boardwalk.
You don't want to deal with that.
It's dirty under there.
It's dirty, including broken structures and other miscellaneous things.
Staff were all young and not into their roles compared to the other parks we visited.
Not into their roles.
They're like, yeah, hi.
Bugs Bunny and shit.
That's great.
Matt, what's up, Doc?
What's up, Doc?
I don't really like carrots.
No.
That's not a very good impression, man.
Wow.
I can't believe this place is still open.
Well, believe it.
That is what they have.
It is because you were there and you wasted hundreds of dollars on there.
You did.
This person has a very specific beef here.
Here we go.
Namaya says, one star, Dasani water is over $5.
Yeah.
And then there's a skull face there, a skull emoji.
Oh, dead.
Dasani garbage and everyone knows it.
Oh, okay. Dasani garbage. Thursday, yeah. Dasani garbage and everyone knows it. Oh, okay.
Dasani garbage. Thursday, yeah.
It is. Dasani is garbage.
Dasani tastes
just like, if you could turn this plastic
bottle into water and then I drink it, that's
what it tastes like. It's bad water, yeah.
Yeah. They think they slick
at this point. They think
they slick. Think they slick with
a skull, a talky face a face
with like words coming out and a fire a big flame those are the emojis they think they slick i could
go to mcdonald's and get the same bottle of water for four dollars less and then it said
dolly would better oh dolly dolly woods better
dolly won't overcharge you for Dasani.
We've actually done reviews of Dollywood for a small town murder that we did.
Some people weren't excited with that either.
Some people weren't thrilled.
And they post a picture with the menu and beverages and the circle around Dasani water being $5.
You're paying carnival prices.
Sorry. You're paying airport
prices for drinks and food there that's there that's what all these parks are they go whatever
disney's doing and they're like well we'll take 20 off that because that's what we charge it's
gonna be filthy they actually you know clean and stuff uh next up kaylin with one star this is like
a new one too from three weeks ago uh This is not the place I grew up with.
Childhood memories dashed and ruined.
Ruined.
Oh, God.
Killing her whole childhood.
They have gone down with safety and security.
I remember only seven years ago it was not teens working in the parks, but responsible adults.
They've gotten worse with safety and security?
Worse.
They're like, I don't give a shit anymore. Since she was a
kid? Yeah, seven years
ago. That's very specific. I remember it was
only seven years ago that it wasn't teens
working here. Seven years and four score.
Four score and seven years.
I understand being understaffed
and needing help, but do not
trust the people's care in the hands
of teenagers.
Again, though, if you go to a place with teenagers working there, expect drop your expectations 40 percent because.
Well, I stopped the ride to do things at the top of the stratosphere because I looked over in the control booth and saw at best 17 year old kid.
I was like, I'm not riding.
No.
We're at the top of a building and that's operating.
Nope.
I'm not doing it.
The quote operation, though, is a button.
It's literally he presses it.
It's not like he's the one that built it.
No.
Whether it was him or a physicist or a monkey, it would all be the same result, I feel like.
The ride would work the same way.
They can depress the red button and operate.
Yeah.
The monkey might have to bribe with a banana, though.
That's the difference.
Maybe, yeah.
I understand being understaffed.
With all the fights happening, this park has become an official safety hazard.
And there's fights all day.
So if you're not beaten or shot, you'll be thrown off a ride to your ultimate demise.
Well, there was gunshots last week.
Oh, my.
Here's Bill.
Here we go.
Oh, my God.
This guy really starts off with some poetic bullshit here.
One star.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Okay.
Bill, just say what you think.
Okay.
Yeah.
Start with your Shakespeare.
I don't need your commentary on the entire organization.
Soliloquy.
Without a doubt, the worst theme park in the southeast.
$55 for a basic ticket with no frills speedy parking
that supposedly puts you closer to the front gate for 40 okay so now you're 95 in for one ticket and
parking parking okay a place like six flags in a place it's not like it's in manhattan
yeah there is a lot i think atlanta, Georgia, there's a lot of space.
It's spread out very wide.
If you're going to make a park, you can put all the parking you want around it.
Oh, yeah.
It should be free, I would think.
And I'll bet they do.
Yeah, I bet there's tons of it.
I'll bet it's not free, but I'll bet they have shit piles of it.
Shit piles.
And then $40 to get.
Fuck you.
How about I got here early?
That seems, yeah.
That seems expensive.
That's ridiculous.
The best part of this nostalgic lie it's now six flags slash nostalgic lie is the wait times this defunct
company puts on its app they're not defunct you pay well you just gave 95 to a defunct company
how dumb are you whose fault is is that? It's stupid.
The app will tell you times of 5 to 10 minutes when it's really closer to 1.5 hours.
Yeah.
He just bought a TV on the Circuit City app, too.
Yeah, he did.
Just got it.
Not on the app.
He had to go right to the website.
They were out of business pre-app.
Yeah, he bought a CircuitCity.com today.
20 day now, it'll show up.
He had to go to that Wayback Machine site to do it, though.
That was the problem.
He doesn't understand.
He buys everything from DeFong sites.
He ordered a Dell computer from it from like...
With a Pentium 2 processor in it.
Buying shoes from Sports sportsauthority.com.
Doing great.
We stood in line for Monster Mansion for over an hour
while the app stayed at a quick five minutes.
Oh, my.
If you want food, hang that up as well.
Don't you dare think you're getting fed around here.
Hang that up?
What a weird way to put that
hang that up hang those thoughts right there on the fucking on the hooks with your raincoat
right next to your five minute wait wow you'll easily drop three hundred dollars for a family
of three it's a sad money pit that attempts to cling to its fabled glory days fabled fabled
they weren't even real what the fuck are you talking about what are you talking about that attempts to cling to its fabled glory days. Fabled? Fabled. Fabled glory days.
They weren't even real.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
It's not a retired athlete.
What are you...
Save your money and go somewhere worth the experience.
As for the owners of the park,
torch it and claim the insurance money,
then move on.
Sound business advice, man.
This guy, he used to advise the Gambino family on this.
All those warehouses in Brooklyn, torch them and take the insurance money.
That's his only advice he has to people.
Torch it, take the insurance money.
What are you talking about?
That's a great financial advice for this guy.
I'm telling you, yeah, I know you could write off the depreciation, but for Christ's sake,
I'm telling you right now, you burn it.
It's fast.
It's done.
Torch it and call State Farm.
Move along.
Wow.
Claim the insurance money, then move on to let this nightmare die its final death.
Okay.
Quick update.
I think that was an update.
Oh, okay.
They did this before they left the park.
Yeah.
He did this after he was taken for $300 for lunch.
I think it was on the way from his $40 parking spot to the front gate.
Because Matty had so much time to type.
Quick update.
80% of the rides are closed or in disrepair.
In fact, we were just told that they were shutting down the Hanson cars for no other reason than they were tired.
Oh, they were. The the Hanson cars for no other reason than they were tired. Oh, they were.
The employees or the actual equipment.
Equipment shouldn't be tired, probably.
Right.
Steel and stuff.
It either works or it doesn't, usually, with machinery.
Maria gives one star.
Ghetto is hell!
Exclamation point.
Yeah.
Ghetto is hell.
Very dirty.
The bathrooms, the restaurants, all of it is nasty it's all nasty
all of it they have a bunch of kids operating the rides yes yeah there seems to be a big complaint
i feel like i'm gambling with my life never again that's how it feels holy shit i mean that was the
that was the appeal of action park it was like the teenagers will let you do what you want
you can ride the ride and some shit.
Not have the safety shit on as much.
They don't care. We can smoke on this ride.
Look at him. Oh, back then, yeah, you could smoke weed on the
rides. Nobody cared.
Here's Tamisha, one star.
The worst experience ever!
Exclamation point. Uh-oh.
Do not. I was going to say,
how many of your family was killed?
Thrown from a ride?
I do not recommend this location.
They are unorganized and unprofessional.
She knows how a theme park should run.
A professional one, at least.
One of the security officers physically grabbed two of my students versus telling them they were going the wrong way.
This person brought kids here.
This sounds like a teacher on a field trip. Also, maybe that security guard shouted a few times and they ignored him that's
possible and also what kind of a fucking self-utilating psychopath would take a bunch of
children here like a classroom full of kids that aren't yours that sounds as a kiss for sure wow
we had to wait an hour for meal tickets and ride pass.
They knew the group of 72 were coming today.
Oh, my God.
You brought 72 people there?
Oh, my.
If you bring 72 people anywhere, it's just going to be a disaster, and that's on you.
If everyone survived, five stars.
I don't know what to tell you.
You knew you were bringing 72 people there.
You should have been like, this is going to be the worst.
Lower those expectations of fun right there.
If you have a large group, do not come here.
I will not.
Okay.
Next up, Joe gives one star.
After seeing what I did today at Six Flags, there's no way I could ever allow anyone in my family to ever go there again.
What did he want?
I think there was people being kidnapped into prostitution is what it was.
And genocide in the parking lot?
Well, they had a gas chamber set up by the Haunted Mansion.
They're just walking them in.
And then they had a white slavery station over by the Loop-de-Loop.
So it's really tough over there.
It's wild.
After witnessing what I witnessed. He better elaborate. there. It's wild. Witnessing what I witnessed.
He better elaborate.
Well, let's see.
Which is very sad because I've been going there my entire life and it's my first time going to Six Flags.
And my first time going to Six Flags was in the 70s.
The gangs and thugs are out of control there at Six Flags.
And it's not safe to bring your family.
They don't tell you what happened.
After what I saw today, and there's nothing that they saw that they don't tell you what happened after what i saw
today and there's nothing that they saw that they don't want to tell you about no one elaborate
gangs and thugs okay jackson video those kind of gangs i probably just like like the bad gangs yeah
yeah battle dancing in the streets yeah yeah like yeah, like the West Side Story gang. That's what it is.
Matt gives one star.
One star.
I was very excited to go here.
However, it was a very disappointing experience.
We went on five rides over six and a half hours because four of the rides broke down while in line.
One of them broke down twice while in line.
Oh, no.
That's not great.
The rides themselves are great, but I couldn't believe how frequently the rides were breaking down all day.
That's parks a piece of shit.
That's why.
Yeah.
Also, don't go to Disney then, doggie.
Oh, it's constant.
Because they'll shut that motherfucker down while you're on it.
Probably be happy that they shut it down rather than go, it'll be good.
I think it'll be fine, right?
One more try.
Yeah.
I think it'll be all right.
Turn it around again.
That grinding noise, it doesn't say, I think that'll be okay.
I checked the manual.
It doesn't say anything about grinding, so let's just go.
Let's just do it.
We wouldn't ride half of the coasters we wanted because they were broken.
We ended up leaving four hours earlier than we planned because of how angry we were.
Not a very clean or well-run park.
I may be biased from going to Cedar Point every year for the last 18 years.
Oh, well, Cedar Point.
Oh, aren't you highfalutin Cedar Point?
That's the snooty ones.
But this park is nothing compared to it.
Holy Jesus, this is fucking wild.
Here is Summer.
One star.
You can't ride the rides unless you're rail thin. Here is Summer. One star.
You can't ride the rides unless you're rail thin.
Apparently it's one of those.
But like I said, that's one of those.
I think it's a physics thing.
That's just how it's designed.
Yeah, you can only have. The gift shop doesn't have any clothing items for you if you weigh over 125 pounds.
I wasted a ton of money going there and cried in the bathroom three times.
That's sad.
Jesus Christ.
But there's a picture of her, and she's not even a very big girl.
She's not like that.
She's sensitive, I'll tell you that.
She's not five bills or anything.
Jesus Christ.
She's crying in the bathroom, though.
Three times.
My God.
I can't imagine an outdoor experience that could make me cry in the bathroom three times.
After the first time, I'm going home.
This place sucks.
I just got done crying in the bathroom.
I want to go home now, right?
I had to have a cry.
Good one.
A real good cry.
Let's see here.
Here we go.
One star from Samantha.
I will never go again.
Oh, boy.
It costs hundreds of dollars.
Three times they closed down a ride after my group waited 45 minutes plus for no reason.
I can live it.
The Superman, we waited two hours, watched cart after cart go with empty seats.
Every single staff member on every single ride and in every restaurant was super rude.
I watched a guy in the Hall of Justice have a mental breakdown
and close the ride right as we were next.
That employee had a mental breakdown?
Is that a Hall of Justice?
Yeah.
Do they have like a crying stall in the bathroom
that's just for criers?
Wow, holy shit.
So I paid $200 plus for me and my boyfriend to get attitude from teenagers and stand around.
That is very expensive for attitude.
I get that for free at home.
Yeah, I don't need your fucking attitude.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
I'm really having a fucking ball with this here.
$200 for attitude from
teenagers.
From teenagers.
Oh my god. Okay.
One star. My main
concern slash reason for this rating is
the lack of adult supervision at the rides.
The only place I saw
anything that looked a minute
over 18 was in the restaurant.
We're entrusting our lives, in all caps, to children.
Yes, that's why it's crazy.
Yes.
They have bad attitudes, joking and playing amongst themselves, not engaging,
casually checking to see if the riders are secured in the ride,
and just being plain out rude.
Yeah.
That's a teenager. That's a park. That's an amusement park. checking to see if the riders are secured in the ride, and just being plain out rude. Yeah. Yeah.
That's a teenager.
That's a park.
That's an amusement park.
It is, yeah.
It's just a headless kid waiting to happen.
That's every amusement park.
We do theme park disasters on our Patreons.
Oh, man.
It is wild how often that happens.
Somebody lost two legs, one lower than the other.
Yes.
They have two stumps that are not even.
They're not even even.
That was at some Six Flags in Ohio or something.
And there's a kid operating it probably.
Oh, my God.
And they also complain a funnel cake that fits snugly in the center of the plate, $9.
Highway robbery.
Snug in the center of the plate.
Wow.
I was not impressed, nor did I feel appreciated.
Yeah.
Wow.
Didn't feel appreciated, huh?
Jesus Christ.
I've never felt appreciated at any theme park I've ever been to.
Anywhere.
No.
Yeah.
There's thousands of us here.
None of us are important.
Jesus Christ, man.
Okay.
One star from Christopher.
I can't believe I wasted my time and money coming here.
Four roller coasters and five other top rides not operating on opening day.
And what kind of ghetto park is this to have at least 20 to 30 police officers outside and inside all day?
This is a pathetic excuse for an amusement park.
Wow.
Have you heard about all the fights?
Maybe it's good that those are there.
Yeah.
Well, that's the other thing.
Everybody keeps saying it's ghetto, it's ghetto, it's ghetto.
It's dangerous.
People are saying it's all gangs here and all this type of shit like that.
Wow.
This is interesting here.
So more here.
One star from Sam.
Had a corporate outing here and I was extremely disappointed.
I responded to the survey they sent post even and a week later no response of any type oh they did
send the final invoice for payment oh yeah yeah oh yeah you're paying oh you're paying the catered
food i had from the event was horrible and people got actually sick the staff there may be the most
unfriendly and rude i've experienced in a long time at a park or large event.
The park overall looked and felt rundown and old and was just a
disappointment compared to other parks.
Well,
great.
What do you expect?
That's what I mean.
This place is,
Oh my God,
you're going to pay too much and not get anything that you want.
That's what theme parks are.
And lastly on this Matthew with a one star,
I'm going to skip a lot of it.
Cause a lot of it is like,
I waited this long for this ride and this.
I don't want to hear about that.
But this is fucking great.
He says you fluff wait times to sell out flash passes, which actually cause wait times.
It becomes a vortex of a bad time for your customers.
He understands.
It's a vortex, Jimmy.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we've been to a crazy amusement park uh holy
shit shootings fights and gunfire thugs james thugs corporate outings it's all it's all bad
girls crying in the bathroom scary so let's go somewhere a little quieter what do you say
just a little let's tone it down a drop it's so loud your ears are going to be ringing let's go
to the miami public. Let's do that.
Miami, Florida.
That's it.
Quiet.
A lot quieter.
Kids will get kicked out for yelling there.
This is the 101 West Flagler Street branch of the Miami Public Library.
I'm not sure if they have any others in Miami, honestly.
It might be the.
It's very small.
It's a kiosk.
That's all the books they keep down there.
It's one of those ones that –
All the rest have been burned.
Like a birdhouse full of books.
Exactly.
The little libraries, yeah.
Here's Ken with five stars.
Okay.
This library is always an enjoyable place to work.
Oh, to work, yeah.
That's it.
Three stars.
Or five stars.
Done.
One sentence. Here's Ros three stars or five stars done one sentence um here's
uh rosalind with five stars quote but the first thing uh but the first thing first chromebook
return now i'm back on regular desktop computer computer finding out his review right now with
my own business email what the fuck does that mean what happened roslyn you went
here and typed in five stars and then wrote that a human being wrote that that's what i'm saying
returned my chromebook i guess it's a laptop and now she's just finding out about the reviews and
she's furious she's not happy about it yeah there's a picture of her smiling. She took like a selfie
of her smiling.
Jacked.
All happy.
Here's Brett,
one star.
What a spacious library.
Well,
that sounds good.
Yeah.
But no,
that truly needs
new management.
I could not find
several books
because the big signs
of the Dewey Decimal System
is wrong
and they know it
in all capital letters.
And they know it. They're doing it to fuck with you intentionally.
It's on purpose.
It's wrong and they know it.
They placed small
post-its with
corrections. Well then shut the fuck up
if there's corrections. Read them.
What do you want? OMG
get some magic markers and make
some signs.
I was even told they were glad that people had not torn down the post-its.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Or that the glue hasn't gotten soft yet.
They're not going to waste lamination on this.
People will throw it out and rip it down.
And it's taxpayer money, so they're not going to change the signs.
This isn't a profit for profit thing.
That's the thing.
This isn't a profit deal? So you're like, we need new signs. This isn't a profit for profit thing. That's the thing. This isn't a profit deal?
You're like, we need new management.
It's not for profit.
So that's why they're just like, I don't know, if the place is standing, it's fine.
You're borrowing books for free.
Yeah.
It's the fucking lady who watches the books.
What more do you want from them?
Therefore, just use some initiative and get the job done.
It is a library in all capital letters we know
thank you also the library is in a compound of other city buildings see i told you it's in like
a oh it's by the courthouse it's just one little office like in a building somewhere by city hall
the whole configuration is a nightmare for a disabled person person or actually anyone who
has to try to find the entrance ramp. All that public money poorly utilized.
Is there a silent study room for young people who seek a quiet place for study?
Rules of not utilizing phones, et cetera, are not enforced.
Well, there's no bouncers in there.
It's the lady who watches the books.
You ever meet like a 55-year-old lady who's really into books?
She's not much of a confrontational fighter usually. Usually more of an introspective cry in the bathroom type you know what i mean
three times a day yeah i realize social services are there on a daily basis maybe a nursery needs
to be allotted space i also live in another large city that faces social issues and the libraries
are managed so that the library is
for all caps everyone yeah sounds like you you gotta get involved and yeah boss get the boss
elected i won't even discuss the issue with the elevators oh what are those they plummet down you
you splat to your death that's how it works they don't even go up and then this is the capper here yeah instead of
nightmare on elm street it is nightmare on flagler street got it there you go so uh very creative man
we're very creative it's too many syllables it doesn't flow
uh one star from alice alan alec sorry i'll say alex but it's Alec. You can't sit in the manga section?
M-E-N-G-A?
Oh, is that that?
Is that that?
Is that tentacle porn?
I'm not sure.
Yeah, I think it's Japanese porn.
I think it is.
Well, you can't sit there.
Tentacle porn.
Well, no.
They're tired of you sitting there.
Well, the reason is not what you would imagine.
No?
And read because only teenagers are allowed there apparently.
Well, that's what they're doing.
Only kids allowed in the tentacle porn section.
Sorry.
Security there is unacceptable when there are homeless people sleeping at all the tables
and yet they're worried about someone who's sitting at an open table reading because they only allow teenagers at that table yes because a sleeping homeless person isn't actively
trying to groom teenagers they're not trying to sit around with a bunch of kids in a public place
and chat about fucking tentacle porn that's why you're creepier uh i i agree with that security
was rude about it yeah they said get up pervert the only people who sit here are perverts away
from the kids weirdo yeah you're whacking it under the table.
You failed to mention that part.
We know why you're here.
Get out of here.
There are no signs that say nobody over the age of 18.
Seems like they just wanted to find an easy target.
There's no signs saying no pedos.
Yeah.
It's not fair.
Didn't say I couldn't whack it under the table, so damn it.
Put a post-it up like the Dewey Decimal System.
Oh, here we go.
Okay, this person has a lot to fucking say.
About a library.
About a library.
How could you?
Did you go there?
Were there books?
Yes?
Did they let you take a couple of them?
Holy shit.
With no collateral.
Was it free?
Yeah.
No collateral whatsoever. Yeah, did you find out your credit score while you were? No, you didn. Was it free? Yeah. No collateral whatsoever.
Yeah, did you find out your credit score while you were?
No, you didn't, because it didn't matter.
Because it didn't matter.
It didn't matter.
Leave your FICO at the door, motherfucker.
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
We're not interested.
Miriam wants to leave your FICO at the door.
I love the library, and I used to come to this location, main one, downtown Miami,
with my son,
as it is enormous.
Tons of whatever you're looking for
or researching.
However, today I had a different experience.
So I've been coming for years,
and it's great,
but I had one bad experience,
so I'm going to befoul the whole place.
Perfect.
Ruined it all.
At 5.58, the door was locked.
I didn't know what time it was until I checked my phone after not being able to get in.
I showed my phone, meaning the time in parentheses, to the young African-American woman security guard at the front desk.
Another African-American young male in parentheses, meaning security guard, another security guard, not another black person.
Another black guy came to the door as reinforcement.
And then in parentheses again, this person overuses parentheses.
This is the third parenthetical in one sentence.
That's too many.
You can't do it.
You don't need to be specific.
No.
Came to the door as reinforcement and then to the heavy security guard, to the heavy security risk I was presenting, question mark, all in parentheses, wanting to know what I wanted.
I asked, why are they closing before the indicated time?
Now, it's 5.58.
I think they close at 6 p.m.
That's why.
I just checked the thing.
In two minutes, you can't fucking find everything.
Our decimal system is fucked up.
There's no way you're going to find what you need.
You're asking.
No, it's all fucked up.
You can't find it.
You don't have no time to sit with the teenagers.
It's over.
Our crying bathroom is closed for the night for cleaning.
What do you want from people?
You want them to stay late for you.
Yeah, and who shows up at two minutes before closing fucking anywhere
you're a dick and then writes a review about it right yeah you fucked up it's on you they said
i guess he felt like arguing or was stalling so that the clock would advance oh for fuck's sake
no we're trying to leave at six then a hefty african-american female hurriedly came to their
quote defense pretty funny as i was outside of a locked
door she asked what was going on through the mail slot what's going on what's going on
peeking through they just stepped to the side so she can't see it
like fucking in the in-betweeners when they were trying to avoid the guy whose flowers they fucked
up uh pretty funny okay here we go uh yeah i repeated my question
however the two minutes had passed and yes it was now 6 p.m yeah you fucking idiot that's
we're taking them for to unlock the door for you to walk anywhere near the books you wanted
yeah oh my god uh she i did comment that they should remain open until they close. They did.
Yeah, they were closed.
They did, and they closed at 5.58.
Sorry for you.
You fucked up.
Guess what?
Get there earlier.
How about that?
Yeah, manage your fucking time better.
If you can't get somewhere before 5.58, go on a day you can.
What are you talking about?
Inconvenience other people.
Stay late. Yeah, they wouldn't.
Stay late.
Yeah.
They wouldn't treat me special.
Well, sorry.
Sorry.
I got plans tonight.
There's not a drawer to count down.
We're getting the fuck out of here.
We're out.
If all the homeless people are done whacking it under the table, we get that.
That's it.
We're done.
We rouse them at 5.55 and we get the fuck out.
That's it.
She said it was six.
And what did I think I was going to do with the two minutes?
Yes.
What do you think you're going to do with the two minutes?
I couldn't even scan your fucking library card in that time.
I responded that I'm outweighed three to one, so I'm not going to bother.
Oh, you bitch. You bitch.
Outweighed.
Three guards against me? Nah, I'll pass, and I. You bitch. Outweigh. Three guards against me?
Nah, I'll pass.
And I told them so.
I'm not writing this so much for the public, but more for the people in charge over there.
Yeah.
Unpleasant, rough security guards.
They're not rough.
You never got touched.
You were through glass the whole time.
You didn't even get inside.
You have no idea how they would have roughed you up.
I wish they would have if you're going to write that.
Talk to the mail slot.
Yeah, unpleasant rough security guards at a library?
Question mark.
I felt as if I had hit the Twilight Zone and maybe visited a prison.
No, you didn't.
You were late.
Good Lord.
Not my cup of tea.
Sorry.
By the way, this location seems to have a higher than average homeless population.
In downtown, really? Crazy. have a higher than average homeless population.
In downtown, really?
Crazy. In a downtown area.
No shit.
Don't go to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport.
No, not at all.
So maybe that has affected the guards.
But they need to either take some Xanax or a different job.
That's my two cents.
All right.
I'd like to throw two cents at you because you're an asshole.
That was thousands of dollars worth of two cents.
Jesus Christ.
That's not two cents.
You gave us your 50 bucks.
Eat dicks.
Sean with one star.
They need more comic books.
Well, that's called a fucking comic book star.
That's not.
Do they have comic books?
I don't know what kind of collection that they can't have.
Superman won at the fucking library. Cultivate a whole collection or what? I don't know what kind of collection that they cultivate there. They can't have Superman 1 at the fucking library.
Do they cultivate a whole collection or what?
I'm not sure.
Also would be nice if they add beds for homeless people and people to relax while reading books.
No.
I'm not relaxing where a homeless man slept.
You're fucking relaxing a bed in a public place?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I have a sleep number in here.
No.
I need Superman 1 and a sleep number.
I'm not happy.
This is a publicly funded library.
This isn't some kind of fantasy fucking land where it's like, oh, you come in and you sleep and read.
Yeah.
Lean on a posturpedic with a doctor's suit. Yeah. You're talking about. I'm a post-traumatic with a doctor's suit.
Yeah.
They should have field trips here.
They probably do.
They do.
They probably do.
It's while you're at work, man.
Yeah.
Oh, you should be at work, but you're not
because you're wishing there was a bed to read in.
Then more comic books.
Oh, shit.
Also to the other public libraries.
They should have more video games.
What are you doing? They have movies there that you can get. They should have more video games. What are you doing?
They have movies there that you can get.
They have fucking audio books.
They have all sorts of shit.
They should serve alcohol and have popcorn.
Yeah.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I think they should also build more public libraries in Miami.
Well, that's probably not going to happen.
You're in Florida, so you're not getting any public works.
Right.
You're not going to have books at all.
Also, not the ones you want
you want a fucking you want an adult play center that yeah has some sort of comic book store you
want a comic book store a specialized one my god uh wow okay one star from alex the restrooms are
like a homeless shelter beside the guys Beside the guys that's sleeping
in the stall, me and son
over her drug cell, and
lots of secondhand smoking by
front door.
Okay, here we go.
One star. The staff are
not friendly, and they quick to
kick you out of
out.
Out out.
You got kicked out out. Someone, out of out, for even mind, for even out out.
You got kicked out out.
Someone else got kicked out out.
Man, you don't want to get kicked out out.
Out out at the library.
At the library.
Damn, not even to the foyer, just out.
That's the second time somebody said out out.
That's amazing.
This one said out of out.
Even further out. That's even further out of way out.
For even minding your business.
You were just reading and they said, get out now.
Stop it with that reading.
They be on you all the time.
Okay.
Yeah, so they be on you all the time.
Yeah.
One star.
This is a good one from Doris.
There is a black suitcase over there.
Period.
Okay. Okay. At the bus stop where the cops fill up with fuel. This is a good one from Doris. There is a black suitcase over there, period.
Okay.
Okay.
At the bus stop where the cops fill up with fuel, dot, dot, dot.
Her punctuation is fascinating to me.
Is she reviewing in a bomb threat?
I told the police officer who was filling up the suitcase.
He ignored me because I was talking on the phone.
Then they just say, if you see something, say something.
He even rudely spoke to me for not letting go of that phone.
He told me he wasn't listening.
You're a crazy person.
This makes no sense.
Imagine dealing with this person in public in person. I don't want to.
After a minute, you'd go, you know what?
I'm not listening.
Never mind.
I'm not listening.
I hope whatever you're telling me is a dangerous situation and it unfolds and I die because of it.
Go cry in the bathroom.
I can't deal with you.
Get out, out.
Get out, out.
Out of out.
Out of way out.
Out of the out.
So I'm very frustrated now.
We've walked around.
Five bucks for a bottle of water at Six Flags.
We couldn't afford to eat there.
It would have been thousands of dollars.
Forget about it.
These people made me side with the library staff.
Yeah, side with the library staff.
It's 5.58.
Where are we going to go?
What are we going to do?
Let's get some chicken, Jimmy.
What do you say?
All right.
Let's do it.
We are going to the Super Kennedy Fried Chicken.
Super Kennedy?
Super Kennedy Fried Chicken. Super Kennedy? Super Kennedy Fried Chicken.
Kennedy Fried Chicken is a place in New York here.
Okay.
They're in Beacon.
They had the place on Main Street in Beacon when I was a kid.
You'd go there.
And every time you go there, you get in a giant brawl.
It was fucking awesome.
Super Kennedy or it's Kennedy Chicken?
It was Kennedy Fried.
It was that one.
You go there.
They're open late.
So at like 10 o'clock, there's like 800 people under 21 there gathering,
all a bunch of New Yorkers that are wanting to beat the shit out of each other.
So it's a lot of fun.
And there's one in Newburgh.
They put them in the most terrifying neighborhoods.
Is it?
Everyone.
Is it KFC?
It's still KFC.
That's super KFC is the way they're doing it.
But New Yorkers refuse to say Kentucky, so they just go, Kennedy will do it.
It's fine.
Super Kennedy.
So this place is up by, we've driven around here.
This is where I said if you saw bubbles pushing the cart through here filming the wire, you'd go, yeah, that's about right.
This is the area it's in here.
It's at 411 Main Street in Poughkeepsie here.
Oh, in the town of, yeah. It's11 main street in poughkeepsie here oh in the town of
yeah it's in the city of poughkeepsie up there and i have to say this is two miles from my house
yeah and i it's a weird thing i live in the woods okay two miles away is this which is danger i can
go woods to hood in two in like eight minutes literally jesus Jesus. And you pass like... How did Wu-Tang blow that?
I don't know.
They fucked it all up.
They could have done that.
Hit me up, Method Man.
I'm James Petrogallo.
Hit me up.
Rizzo, SZA, let's go.
Yo, let's do it.
Jizza, I got you covered, homie.
Let's do it.
So that's the way.
And you pass like a nearly Ivy League school on the way.
It's the weirdest fucking area.
So this is
in not a good area here is uh five stars okay had awesome food and gets really busy because it's one
of the best places for fried chicken their sides and other options are great too been coming here
since i was a kid and it's always been good never heard a bad thing about this place well you're about to i'll say some bad shit
um we order from this place all the time we crave it and because sometimes it's really good and then
sometimes it's like it's like they were closed for a week and just reached in the fridge and just
threw shit in the bag and sent it to us i don't know what they're fucking doing we got it last
week and two weeks ago and first of all they just half of my
the stuff i ordered they just didn't have they just didn't put in the bag not for that guy
it just didn't come at all never showed up so that was right there then i got this three-piece
chicken thing and the chicken the pieces were like hollow oh like you break through like no no
chicken pieces it was a thigh a a breast, and a leg.
And there was no meat, just breading and bone?
Yeah, but it looked like chicken.
And then you bit it and you went through the breading and there was nothing in it.
It was just hollow chicken.
They somehow extracted the meat from this chicken.
I've never seen anything like it before.
But the breading held together in the vague shape of a chicken.
It fried in the shape of a chicken.
It was like they made the chicken
fried it then somehow took a needle and just extracted all the chicken out the chicken meat
out so i don't know how the fuck they did it wow the mashed potatoes i got were they were warm so
i'm like oh good these will be good it's mashed potatoes and gravy comes in a little plastic disc
container thing so you can feel it's warm. I open it up. You could stick a
fork. The potatoes come in like two little
balls. I stuck a fork in a potato
and picked the ball of potatoes up
with it and held it up.
This is not how mashed potatoes work.
Right out of the foam? Right out of the
foam. And it's stuck. It's plastic.
And it just stayed. It didn't even droop.
It just stayed in that. It's like a
potato sickle that's warm.
Yeah.
And the gravy had the viscosity of Robitussin.
It was fucking weird.
Oh, no.
I just didn't eat anything.
I was like, well, that's that.
I deserve this.
I deserve this.
And I ordered mac and cheese
and they sent macaroni salad,
which is not the same thing if you hate mayonnaise.
That's very different.
They sent me a tub of mayonnaise and said, there you go.
That is an enormous go fuck yourself.
Thanks a lot.
So that's what I got.
Sarah got this lamb over rice dish that was very good.
What?
Lamb over rice shows up, but not macaroni and cheese?
Not macaroni and cheese with fried chicken.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's fucking wild, man's wild place but i didn't have to go pick it up myself which seems good because
wait till you hear the reviews okay next maurice five stars and when it's good it's fucking good
dude the potato wedges are banging when their chicken's good it's juicy and good is it like
those jojo style potatoes what do you mean i don't know what that is. Oh, they're like seasoned wedges?
I don't know if they're seasoned, but they're potato wedges.
Yeah, they have wedges.
They have regular fries.
Long and kind of, I don't know how to describe them.
A fucking wedge.
It's a potato wedge.
We all know what a potato wedge is.
Yeah, long and triangular cut.
But they've got like an orange seasoning on them.
No, these don't.
Maybe JoJo's does, but these don't.
Yeah, JoJo's.
I don't know what JoJo's is.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what that is.
JoJo's are like the, oh, at a grocery store deli.
That's a JoJo.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah, like next to the chicken strips and the mac and cheese.
That's a JoJo.
Yeah.
Those are good.
Yeah, totally.
I've never heard that before.
Really?
No.
No.
Really?
That has to be regional. I don't know what that totally. I've never heard that before. Really? No. Really? That has to be regional.
I don't know what that is.
I don't know.
That's what they've always been called.
So five stars, best fried chicken and shrimp in the city, and the prices are great.
I wouldn't order shrimp from here, by the way.
Yeah, that doesn't sound good.
I wouldn't get anything shellfish here.
I don't think I'm ordering anything fish.
No.
Water living in that area of anywhere beware everything they sell is fried well it's called kennedy fried fried fried is in
the title also i would have got that if you love fried food this is your takeout destination
fried chicken fish shrimp potatoes onion rings and apple pies all cook the same way deliciously.
Open more hours per week than they are closed.
Late night munchies problem solved.
They're open till 3 a.m. also.
Holy.
Yeah, and this is a real fun neighborhood at 2 a.m.
Somebody works till 3 and then walks home.
And then has to leave here.
And then has to leave the building. Yeah.
You have to leave here.
You have to leave the building?
Yeah.
Asked, whoa, asked Thartia, four stars, being the only place open after 11 p.m., we went to take out some fried chicken.
That's what it says.
Okay.
The place is small, but I'll be honest, there were some people inside and outside that made me nervous, so I decided to drive through instead of going inside.
Wise choice.
Somebody asked me this in the parking lot.
I was like, maybe we'll just drive around the building.
Maybe not.
Yeah.
I got some fried chicken and french fries and they were fine.
It's hard to complain about fried chicken and french fries.
It is, unless it's hollow.
Right.
Unless there's no meat.
No.
I don't think they are as good as KFC or Pope Popeyes, but they are better than the grocery store fried chicken.
Some days they're way better than KFC, and then the one I got last week, at least KFC has some chicken on it.
So price-wise, I don't think price is a deciding factor for me.
I will definitely go again if KFC is closed and I want fried chicken.
And then it said, I took a star away because it didn't seem like the safest place to be after 8 p.m there you go yeah just say dark is good there yeah after dark next up pete rose here with three stars oh is that right sliding in head first he's gambling on chicken that's it
this is a gamble uh service slow other customers cut the line people outside drink and smoking
weed in the parking lot yeah that's exactly what's there.
Perfect.
Paid with an autograph, though, so it was fine.
That's it.
It was fine.
Yeah, they didn't care.
Homeless people begging customers for money.
Place needs to be updated or at minimal painted.
Parking.
Big parking lot.
Just watch out for potheads, drunks, and homeless people asking for money or food.
They don't like being told no.
No, they don't.
They do not.
That is an aggressive area there.
But then in the recommendeds, he says parking, plenty of parking.
You just have to avoid the people in the lot.
Giant lot.
Just be careful in it.
Be careful.
Watch out.
Head on a swivel in that parking lot.
Daniel gives four stars here.
Bad neighborhood, but if you're looking for a great fried chicken, then this is your place.
There are also Kennedy stores in Beacon and Newburgh and a safer location in New Paltz.
Yeah.
New Paltz is a college town.
It's one street with all bars and it's all fucking college.
They have a really good theater program there and that kind of shit.
That's way different than Newburgh Beacon and Poughkeepsie.
That's like, yeah, those are all hood locations.
Must try the beef patties as well.
The four star rating is based on the friend chicken and beef patties.
The friend chicken.
The friend chicken.
Beef patties.
Do they mean a cheeseburger?
No, they have Jamaican beef patties. What mean a cheeseburger no they have b it's jamaican beef patties what does that mean it's a it's a different dish it's a jamaican dish
east coast thing it's a it's just a patty and you eat yeah there's stuff in there they prepare it
different in different times but it's not a hamburger it's a different type of thing um
so grab your gun jump in the car and head to kennedy's for some serious fried chicken exclamation point
arm yourself to the teeth come prepared but it's worth the fight to get the chicken up this morning
it's what it is got myself a gun so i could get myself a bucket um next up heavenly gives three
stars yeah it was interesting to say the least that good. I ordered a Philly cheesesteak sandwich, and the meat was very crispy, almost could not eat it.
Very greasy.
The collard greens were okay, could use more seasonings.
But very surprised for this establishment to be ran by Asians and serving soul food.
Okay.
It's gotten weird.
But you get what you pay, pay for.
Needless to say, I will be back?
Question mark?
Possibly.
Now, I've heard some people say that there's, I don't know if it's owned by Asian people, but black people work there.
Like, there's a lot of black people that work there.
So I don't know if there was that night, it was the Asian staff.
Yeah.
I don't know.
If it's a recipe, anybody can follow a recipe.
And if it's mass quantities, it's not like it's real soul food.
I think it's a matter of they're saying like an Asian one place is selling soul food to the neighborhood, like taking our money.
Whoever the fuck makes the good food, give them the money.
Who cares?
Whatever, yeah.
I guess.
But yeah, they want to, I don't know.
So D says three stars.
Locals love this spot, but I say meh!
Exclamation point.
Mid.
Mid.
Chicken was good, juicy, and well-seasoned.
Well, that's not meh then.
That's great.
That's a win.
Everything else was uneventful.
Food was hot and freshly cooked, though.
Takeout ordering is confusing because they have lots of choices not listed.
Okay.
They have a secret menu?
Who knows what they have.
Yeah, sometimes.
I don't know if there's shit that comes on and off.
Three stars.
Oh, man.
This is a pretty shady area of Main Street.
Shady not referring to tree cover, they say.
Yeah.
Seemed to have quite a mix of locals
ordering. Quite a mix of locals.
Of the
Gibson. They're not from around here.
I'll tell you that right now.
The prices are very reasonable, but the
food is basic fried dishes. Yeah, it's a
fucking fried chicken joint. What do you want, man?
In the hood, that's what it is. I don't think
any CIA chefs work there.
They mean Culinary Institute of America is what they mean.
Really?
Yes, because the Culinary Institute of America is 10 minutes from me.
It's right here.
Yeah.
So if you go to Kennedy Fried Chicken, it's like six minutes from here is the Culinary
Institute of America where all the top chefs are trained.
Yeah.
Literally the one.
Got a lot of feeling there's not a lot of poaching going on around this place.
Not a lot, no.
They cook one way, man, and it's with very hot grease.
It's hot grease.
Yeah, you don't need a CIA chef to work here.
That's the thing.
The spicy wings were not spiced but a bit salty.
The steak must have come separated from the cheese since they were not together on my sandwich.
must have come separated from the cheese since they were not together on my sandwich.
If you're up late, not on a date and hungry,
head to KFC.
Kennedy, not Kentucky.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
Next up, Matt.
I feel like this is the second.
I think Matt left multiple reviews here.
Did he?
I think so.
Matt, three stars.
Typical hood chicken joint.
Don't let it get cold before eating it
or it will become hard.
That's true. That goes for, and then you get a cold cold cold before eating it or it will become hard. That's true.
That goes for, and then you get a cold, cold in the fridge and then it gets nice again.
That's all fried chicken.
Yeah, that goes for any fucking, anything fried.
You better eat that thing now because it's about to be really fucking gross.
Now or in the fridge and then it'll be a different thing where it's softer.
Yeah, that is fascinating.
JoJo's are good like that too.
Yeah, wedge fries are good yeah yeah uh two pieces and fries five dollars that's a great fucking deal
what a bargain that's a great bargain for five dollars fucking anywhere else yeah i love this
i only went there because my stomach was cramping from a medication i was taking oh and i needed
something i needed something on my stomach to stop it.
Okay for an emergency or once in a blue.
That was popping Vicodins.
Just boom, I have to.
Two stars from Brian.
Chicken was very dry.
Seems old.
Overcooked and dry.
Sahara desert.
No moisture at all.
Jesus Christ.
Death Valley, California chicken dry.
Dipped it in my Pepsi to eat it.
Dry.
If the Sahara didn't tell you how dry it is, let me give you another example.
Let me give you another metaphor for this chicken.
Sam, got an idea?
No?
Anything?
Outdated and very dry chicken.
I've never heard of outdated chicken before.
Outdated chicken.
Outdated chicken.
And then it says, need water!
They're choking down like the turkey from Christmas vacation here.
I got more cotton mouth from my chicken than the weed.
Out in the parking lot.
Brenda, two stars.
They used to have the best chicken, but the last time I went, the chicken was dried out.
I hear you, sister.
My son said
that you always have to ask for fresh
question mark what
can you make me
actual food can you give me good food this
time which to me is ridiculous
because I don't want food that's been under heat
lamps forever and it's all dried out
it's not the best neighborhood but that never
mattered to me because their food used to be amazing
and they were always friendly.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
And the last couple here because they're fucking awesome.
Mitchell, one star.
I've spent $20 for the nastiest food ever.
Okay.
I got 12 wingsing with fries.
My teeth are grinding because of lots of salt.
Mind, I have high blood problems.
Oh, no.
High blood problems.
Not high blood pressure.
High blood problems.
My blood gets too high.
It doesn't get down to my legs at all.
Stays up high.
Stays above my shoulders when I eat this much salt.
So rough, man.
He could feel the salt between his teeth.
That's crazy amounts of salt.
I think that seems a little crazy.
I think he's exaggerating.
Maybe a drop. I've got sick from this
place. My first and last
spot. Never again. Don't eat here.
All three exclamation
points. All caps. Oil. A
fry oil. Never been changed.
Yuck. And a green sick emoji.
Yikes. And then the last
couple here.
One star from Mark.
I brought home a roach.
Never eating there again.
That's probably wise.
I don't think I would either.
Okay.
Well, actually, there's going to be two more because this is interesting too.
One star from Tiffany.
Kennedy fried chicken, hamburger, seafood, and ice cream.
Every time my friends and I drove past this place, we would get a chuckle from the signboard,
but that's usually all we ever did.
Drive past this place and with good reason, in parentheses.
Don't get me wrong.
The chicken here is finger licking good, and my low rating has nothing to do with, meh,
I've experienced better, but everything to do with the fact that everyone, and then in parentheses, hardcore gangsters included, should proceed with caution.
So even if you are armed and ready to roll, fucking buckle up when you come into this parking lot.
It's rough.
If you're locked and loaded and have backup, still be frightened.
Be terrified.
I'm not saying anything new to those who live in this area because we know that Poughkeepsie, Main Street in particular,
although often exaggerated, doesn't have the best reputation for being safe.
But Kennedy's unmistakably attracts some pretty shady characters, affirmed by the bulletproof
slide windows that you have to order your food through, and the police hotspot for arresting
the, quote, innocent until proven guilty after nightfall.
The first time I went here, I got harassed by a crack addict
asking for some money,
and thankfully,
my second visit was eventless
because that is because,
one, it was daylight,
two, with my head down the entire time,
I ran in, got my order,
and ran out as quickly as possible
to my friend's car
who had the engine running.
So, plan a bank robbery but go in and just get your chicken and come out.
Go, go.
Start rolling.
I'll jump in.
Fuck it.
Just have the back door open.
I'll dive in the back.
I'll get in.
I'll just dive in through an open window.
Fuck it.
Just go.
There's no time.
Head down. Ran inside. There's no time. Head down.
Ran inside.
Got the boot.
Leave the car.
Don't shut it off.
Don't shut it off.
In case it doesn't start back up.
I would have gone here more often if one of my rough and tough guy friends would have escorted me, but they never did.
Always getting upset if I told them I went there.
Don't go there.
Oh, man.
Go with me.
I'm not going there.
I'm not going in there.
You're on your own.
All of this is sad because Kennedy's has some amazing fried chicken, arguably the best in town.
Perfectly crisp and tastefully seasoned.
Mmm, very good.
The mashed potatoes left something to be desired.
I would say if they can go on a fork and be picked up.
I never had the hamburger, seafood, or the ice cream, but since the fried chicken is so distractingly delicious, I wouldn't want anything else from Kennedy's anyway.
I pray that one day Main Street cleans up, at which point I would give Kennedy fried chicken a definitive four.
But until then, my one remains.
Keep holding your breath.
That's never going to happen.
Never going to happen. It's like East New York out there there shit is never going it is what it is yeah and uh last up my
favorite review of all time for this one emily one star the order was not only incorrect
but it was the second time when the driver was being nice enough to go back and bring it over
they had a delivery yeah
and they came and got went and got their real order so this is two already so then when it was
wrong twice we called the store he's all right we're not going to deal with the fucking delivery
guy he's done enough here okay and the store owner was being very rude and told us to quote
suck his dick.
How many times?
Hats off, sir.
How many times did they want to say it?
You know what?
Suck my dick.
How about that?
Gave Emily both barrels.
Suck my dick.
God, I love it here.
It was very rude.
Told us to suck his dick.
This is Emily, mind you.
I don't know, I'm going to suck my dick.
I then got mad and told Tim to suck mine.
Yes, Emily, yes.
Yes.
What a mature conversation this is.
This is great.
This is over chicken.
Yeah, and over the phone.
It's awesome.
And he told me, quote, then don't order from here assuming you would again after he told you to suck his dick
if you don't suck my dick don't order don't bother
and ended the call we never got refunded because i paid extra money for a thing i didn't even get so well maybe you should have sucked his dick suck his dick
that said let's keep that vibe going with our personal item of the week
welcome to new york welcome to new york everybody it's called good head deep throat spray our
personal item of the week in case you decide decide that, yes, you will suck the chicken, guys, dick.
We have a thing for you.
What is it?
Antiseptic spray?
What is this?
It's a fucking spray.
I'll show you the thing.
It's a good head.
It's like a.
Oh, it's like a lube?
Yeah, it's a spray.
It comes in a spray bottle.
You spray it down your throat, apparently.
Oh, my God.
Was it tingle you or tingle me?
Oral anesthetic anesthetic
spray i know it makes it so it makes it so you don't your your numbs your gag reflex oh my god
ram their cock all the way down your throat somebody can fuck the top of your lung exactly
someone can fuck your esophagus with this and that's what you want so this is good head deep throat spray 14.99
yeah adam and eve uh over 150 000 sold my god people are trying what have we done
what are we doing there's a limit to how deep it goes yeah i mean and you don't got
you know what ladies we're lying we don't need it all the way down your fucking throat.
Nobody wants that.
It's all sensitive at the tip top.
That's all.
Whatever you got going on there.
Flavors comes in mint and strawberry.
So whatever you're into.
Okay, yeah.
Give head without gagging, the description says.
Yeah.
Find out just how deep you can go without that annoying gag reflex getting in the way.
You know, that protective fucking thing that nature's built into your body.
That thing that nature did so that you don't fucking die.
So nothing goes the wrong way.
You know, this oral desensitizing spray reduces, if not completely eliminates, your gag reflex or other discomfort you might experience while performing oral sex.
Jesus.
This fast-acting spray uses a fine mist filled with benzocaine, 5%, to gently numb the sensitive, hard-to-reach nerves in the back of your throat and upper throat that trigger your gag reflex.
Then you can open wide and show off your new and improved oral skills.
Sugar-free.
That's nice. Diabetfree. It's nice.
Diabetics.
That's terrific.
That's good for you.
Doubles as a breath freshener.
Yeah, the babies, this is fine.
It says that on here.
Breath freshener and numb throat.
Your breath will smell better for about a few minutes, and then you'll have cock breath.
So not,
not going to last long.
Five stars.
Great.
I bet.
I only use two or three sprays and it worked well.
Helped keep the gag reflex to a minimum and let me take him deeper.
Good Lord.
Also helps with mouth fatigue.
My mouth did not get tired. even after an hour and a half.
It was not sore like it usually is.
Babe.
Someone fucked your throat for an hour and a half?
If he can get in there for an hour and a half?
You need to get better at sucking dick if it lasts an hour and a half.
You're honest to Christ.
Or he's got a real problem.
He could watch the whole movie. Yeah. Or he's got a real problem. He could have watched the whole movie.
Yeah.
Or he's got an issue that's beyond your help.
One or the other.
The man could have watched Major League.
This says 372 thumbs up, by the way.
Three hundred.
Hour and a half people gave her.
That's why they're giving her a thumbs up.
Good for you, girl.
Good for you.
Yeah.
Hey, good job.
Five stars.
Wow, this is awesome is the title.
Yeah.
Okay, I have never been too good at the whole deep throat game.
But with this spray, my other half never knew what hit him.
It took him by such a surprise and made the moment even more dynamic.
You got to disclose that, though.
You got to disclose, by the way i used this i have
not been practicing and now i'm just good otherwise he's like oh my god are you okay did you stop
breathing am i just humping a corpse right now why are you so good at this all of a sudden yeah
that too uh the only downfall was that my throat felt a little raw the next morning but hey it was
worth it well yeah because you had a dick grinding on parts of it
that you're not used to.
Yeah, your vocal cords are fucked.
Give it a try if you're willing to step up for your man.
Step up for him.
298 thumbs up for that one.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
That is fucking amazing.
This is great.
Best oral endeavor ever, five stars.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
I was skeptical due to mixed reviews across the internet.
Three sprays was a great start.
Once I got all the way to the base, I knew it was effective, though I still had a little residual gag reflex.
About 10 minutes in, I used two more squirts, and we went to town for a solid 20 to 30 minutes.
Good Christ.
Can nobody come anymore?
No.
Just because you can get it in there doesn't mean it was good, evidently.
That's not a great idea, yeah.
Hour and a half?
Jesus.
30 minutes for round two?
What the fuck?
I don't want an hour and a half blowjob.
No.
I don't.
No.
I have other things to do.
You know?
There's things I need to get done in the world.
Thank you. That's very kind of you. It's things I need to get done in the world. Thank you.
That's very kind of you.
I got to take the trash out.
Yeah.
I got the stuff on.
I got to clean the pool.
There's a game on.
I got a lot going on.
Testing the product's bounds for science, they say.
I am completely sold and can't wait to please my man like that again.
Wow.
Interesting here.
Yeah, not bad.
Here's another four-star.
Works better than expected.
Oh.
Wow.
I was skeptical this would work at all,
but my girlfriend has an awful gag reflex,
so this is the guy reviewing it.
I've been struggling with shitty blowjobs for so long.
It should be five stars.
I put my dick all the way down her throat.
Great.
So long.
It should be five stars.
I put my dick all the way down her throat.
Great.
She was open to trying, so I got it.
She is particular about taste, so I tried this on myself first.
The taste isn't so great and not very much strawberry.
But I sucked a dick.
But I sucked a dick.
Then I said, you know what? I'm going to go suck a dick with this and make sure that this is good for you.
Babe, it works.
It works great.
She's wiping his chin.
It also has a bit of a burn initially.
I worry it's too much for her.
I waited a few minutes and didn't feel much different.
Decided to test it with one of her sex toys.
I was able to get the back of my throat with ease and left it there.
This guy said, you know what?
I give him credit for caring about his girlfriend so much.
He doesn't want to hurt her, but he's like, to check it out, I will fucking deep throat a dildo.
Hope you got the one that goes in the front, man.
Wow.
Yeah.
It was a weird shape but i said okay whatever
and a diamond on the back or something and i and he left it there
and i left it there tail sticking out of my mouth
wow and he says wow i too gag pretty easily even when brushing my teeth now if she can just
tolerate the taste hope to have her try it out this weekend he didn't even get a blow job with
this yeah he tried it out on itself um jesus christ oh man four stars i can't believe somebody
put that kind of information on the internet. That personal shit.
There's no name on it.
It's just verified buyer.
But still, they're like, I saw a deep throat in a dildo, and it ain't bad.
I'll tell you what.
I hope that your IP address isn't attached.
Let me tell you something.
Ain't bad.
Oh, no, wait.
There is a thing.
I am daydreaming is their screen name.
Here's four stars.
Good is the title.
Definitely numbs your throat,
but the kids got a hold of this and then dumped it out
before we got to try it more than once.
Why do you have anything for that
near the children?
Keep your sex stuff away
from where the kids can get.
What do they do if they also put a dildo
outside in a tree?
And I was upset with that.
Hung the strap on from the peach tree. I don't care
for that.
Four stars. It works.
My wife made
a not so pretty face when I
sprayed the back of her throat so I did it
to myself and my face was not pretty either.
Yeah, because it tastes gross.
He's like, see I'll try it too. He didn't even tell
her what it was. He just sprayed it in her mouth.
You should see his face when you put a dick in there.
He really gets it.
I want to see that face.
But after the initial stink, my throat got pretty numb.
So hers was ready to take me all the way in.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Tried different angles.
And in most of them, she was able to take my 7.5 inches all the way in.
So, enjoy.
What a fucking nightmare.
Oh, man.
And he's very proud of his sub-8.
He just posted to tell you his dick size.
That's the only reason why he posted.
I'm going to tell people I got a dick.
A good-sized dick. 7.5. You got a good size. Really, it's accurate. That's the only reason why he posted. I'm going to tell people I got a dick. I got a good-sized dick.
7.5.
I got a good size.
Really, it's accurate.
See, I got it.
I measured.
Two stars, comfortably numb.
Okay.
I don't have a bad gag reflex to begin with, but thought this would help.
It tasted horrible and made me gag and didn't work on my throat.
I actually took the cap off and tried to gargle with it.
She is a bad bitch.
It's just a spray of mist that you're supposed to have.
You're not supposed to gargle with it.
It's like chloroseptic.
Or take a little sip.
A little sip.
Just going to drink it.
Put lines of it on the sink.
Fuck.
I snorted it.
put lines of it on the sink. I snorted it.
That would
help me, but it really only made my face
and nips feel, or nips, lips,
not nips, help your nipples too.
Why are you rubbing them on your nipples?
Jesus. Face and lips feel
like I just got back from the dentist.
So it does numb, but it just didn't
numb the right area.
Okay. One star,
no numbing the throat.
Had to use six sprays to start to feel a little numb.
That does not last but four to five minutes,
and you still have the gag reflux.
Not reflex, reflux.
You got a heartburn.
You got a heartburn.
Terrible.
One star, it says.
Terrible.
Nasty taste.
Takes your breath away.
Numbing is minimal and doesn't last
long but will desensitize your male partner's member and ruin any activities you had planned
for the night that's why that's what's happening that's what's happening that's the problem
and he's like he's been i've been fucking my wife's face for an hour and a half it's great
no i got it all the way in i think i think that's what it looks like
a regular blow job that doesn't go all the way in but you can feel it would probably be better
i would imagine yeah asap for full asap for a returning asap for a full refund nope you're not
that's your dick spray it's your blow job spray one star't buy again. Although it numbs the back of my throat for a few moments, the taste is putrid.
I gagged more on the taste than I would have taking my husband's penis down that far.
My husband tastes worse than my husband's dick.
Tastes worse than his dick.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it also numbed my husband, and he did not like that at all.
No.
He does not.
Yeah.
That's awful.
One star.
No good.
Does not work.
None of the items were purchased worked.
Very disappointed.
Okay.
One star.
Horrid aftertaste and smell.
After my girlfriend used this, she couldn't even stand her own breath to do anything.
It was so hard.
It's not a good product. Would like a refund.
Maybe that's your dick, man.
Jesus
Christ, man.
And one star
made, doesn't work, made my girl's
throat raspy and hoarse.
Didn't do what it says it does. Don't buy
this if you're looking for a gag rate
reflex relief. We followed the
instructions to a T and it simply did not work. It was a gaggy reflex relief we followed the instructions to a t and
it simply did not work it was a gaggy pukey joke and then i couldn't even come to the
fucking joan rivers throat hard pass on this product hard pass and then finally one star
useless foul tasting waste this basically tasted like someone melted toothpaste in a shot of gin.
Oh, God.
It lasted all of two minutes and was basically ineffective.
Don't waste your money.
And the user is Classy Kink, so I would listen to that when it comes to sex stuff.
There you go, everybody.
Be careful at the park.
Watch your ass getting chicken in the parking lot.
Get your bed. Climb into bed with a good book at the park. Watch your ass getting chicken in the parking lot. Yeah. Get your bed.
Climb into bed with a good book at the library.
Don't accidentally numb your own dick.
And then take a dick all the way down to your internal organs with us.
Thank you so much.
Follow us on social media.
Listen to Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder, our other two shows.
And keep coming back.
We'll be back week after week after week after week after week.
We can't wait to it.
Thank you so much.
We'll see you next week, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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