Your Stupid Opinions - Hanging With Souls, Floating Boobs, Golden Love

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

This week, we hear some "strange rules" about not being allowed to hang out with the dead. Very strong feelings about a very popular reality tv show. How not to end up with your boobs, floating in the pool. A very personal item, with some unfortunate draw backs & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello everybody, welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey! Hello, thank you so back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. We're excited to hear people's complaints and grievances again today. We have some very fun stuff for you, some very personal items, some things that have to do with possibly the afterlife.

We got a lot of good stuff for you here it's going to be a wild day on your stupid opinions we cannot wait we just want to say if you enjoy the show find us on social media we have all the pages for everything there there's Facebook groups where people post their own opinions and have a good time with that and give reviews and everything like

that also if you like us and you think this is funny crime and sports and small town murder are our other two podcasts so maybe check those out because and everything like that. Also, if you like us and you think this is funny, Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder are our other two podcasts. So maybe check those out because they're good stuff and very self-explanatory from the titles. That said, let's get right into this. All right.

We have a lot of crazy. Again, I apologize for my voice this week. I'm still sick. I'm on antibiotics. It should sound better by next week, I promise you. But the stuff is so good, it doesn't matter how bad I sound. Let's get into this. Let's all die, everybody.

What do you say? Let's do it. Let's die. Now, if we're dead, we're going to need someplace to go once we're dead. We need services. You can't just die and just leave your body in the corner of the room somewhere. They've got to dispose of it in some way. So let's say a cemetery is the most common way and let's find out about a cemetery this is

a cemetery we'd all have to die in west virginia to be buried here probably it is in uh east burke street in martinsburg west virginia this is martinsburg it is called the green hill cemetery and judging by the picture there's a lot of gravestones that aren't quite upright. They're kind of crooked. They've fallen over? Oh, yeah. Like the ground has shifted. I don't know from...

This is a scary one. If there's coal mines underneath there or what, but I don't know what's going on here. So it only has 2.5 stars out of 5 on Google, which it's a cemetery. You figure it's holes in the dirt. How bad could it be? Well, let's find out. Let's find out. You figure it's holes in the dirt. How bad could it be? Well, let's, let's find out. Let's find out a couple of people like it.

Here we go. Here is one review here for stars. And this is kind of a description of the museum, a mausoleum and all this museum, a historical cemetery with a mausoleum. That's not open daily to visitors. Right? Well,

what the fuck? That seems odd. I've only been able to visit inside when they offer an event for the public how why are you clamoring to get inside of the cemetery like in the in the room there but what if it's like an anniversary or something and it's a big deal that you that you visit that person tough shit no no not open to the public sorry about it she said i've only been able like it's like studio 54 like i've been there a bunch of times i wait online i never get picked it's weird the clicker is very certainly he looks right over me and picks the chick with the big tits behind me every time it's ridiculous not fair big tit chick with two gay guys that's all

it's ever i can't get too much of a sausage fest in there right now, guys. Sorry, you're going to have to wait. You're going to have to wait. She said the layout of this place is unique, and it's atop a hill with graves located in a circular downhill pattern. Everything in West Virginia is on a hill. You know what I mean? It's just the way it is. Plenty of marble headstones that date back to the late 1800s.

There's also a segregated black cemetery at the bottom of the hill in the back. Don't like that. It's from back then. Yeah, it was not maintained for many years until 2017 when a group was created to clean the grave sites, give them the respect and dignity these deceased human beings deserve. Okay. So that's fair. It's nice.

I'm glad they're doing that. That was four stars. here's five stars and the reviewer's name that they put on here is sharon tate so i don't know if this is the manson family murdered actress you know giving her review of how she likes being buried here or what but kind of alias some creepy shit alias i guess five stars beautiful old cemetery and well-maintained grounds. Very scenic surroundings. Okay. All right, and then the last five star you're going to find probably ever,

and this is John, and he gives it five. This is five stars again. He says, nice place, well-maintained. I would not be embarrassed to be buried here. That's nice. That's a guy. Wouldn't be embarrassed to be buried here. That's nice. That's a guy. Wouldn't be embarrassed to be buried here. Embarrassed?

That's not so bad. People wouldn't go, Jesus, what kind of dumps this guy getting buried in? You know what I mean? What a cheap bastard. Fuck, man. That'll allow my friends and family to see me interned here. Yeah, yeah. What do you think?

I'm going to get interned here in this fucking dump? Get out of here with that. So next up, Sean gives it one star. Not happy. This place is not taken care of. It looks disgusting. When you say disgusting in cemetery, I figure like, you know, arms sticking out of the ground and shit. Like zombies and body parts got left over.

The pile of legs in the western corner of the place is disturbing i find i don't like i don't like the burn pit yeah that's not great feels weird feels weird it looks disgusting the grass has not been cut trees laying over gravestones just laying over yeah just sloppy just not clearing, that's terrible. Next up, Terry gives it one star. Here we go. This is wild. I took my aunt there to visit her three children that are along the first road. Jesus.

Tough luck on that. Start questioning your aunt. Why she got three dead kids? What's up with Aunt Cyanide? Why is she always having to go to the graveyard? Anti-arsenic. All she ever wants to do is go to the graveyard it's so weird um jesus christ the grass is overgrown throughout the entire cemetery that was trash or there was trash and old decorations blown throughout the property okay so just stuff got blown around by the wind things don't get

picked up when things get left and that gets blown around the worse the worse that's what she says the worst part was nope just the worst was the drive path was blocked by a large and for some reason this is in all caps large make it larger piece of slate approximately three foot by two foot by two foot you don't have to say large you have measurements just tell us measurements and we'll decide whether we consider that large a piece of slate like a pool table slate like i guess like off like a big hunk of stone oh slates like those stone like roofs they would have slate roofs like that so weird which myself and my 80 year old aunt could not budge well it's fucking slight jesus christ i had to be disrespectful and drive onto someone's grave

to get out and back on the drive had to be i had to drive over a fucking world war i II vet's grave to get out of here. Sorry, Captain Miller, I gotta... What the fuck? Left some Michelin tread on a fucking purple heart. What a weird thing. I had to do it. No choice. It was blocking her path.

I'm so sorry. This place sounds like a nightmare. Here's Ashley with one star again. A complete disgrace! Two exclamation points. If it's a disgrace disgrace you better have found someone doing something sexual to the corpses that's a disgrace that's disgraceful i have no clue how anyone can say the grounds are well are kept and well maintained overgrown headstones in a huge

pile down the side of the hill oh my god wow they just fell off and slid down the hill probably from rain and shit and then and they just let them pile up that's it yeah that's we call that stone pile right there everybody is they'll end up there eventually um oh my god this is amazing okay the the last one's great this This one's good, too. But one star from Sylvia. Sylvia, the place is not well kept. Just rode through and found some lots not mowed and very little weed eating. Oh, no. Trees growing like weeds on lot. She just likes to say weed, I think.

Yeah, she does. Board of directors need to walk the whole place with no advance notice. What are they, smoking weed? Don't let them show up. Take a walk, whole place with no advance notice. What are they, smoking weed? Don't let them show up. Take a walk, smoke some weed, and chill. All right, Gavin. I don't know what the hell Gavin's talking about here. Oh, what happened, Gavin?

Tell me the story. Gavin is awesome here. Gavin is, this feels very serious, which is scary. I thought it was a joke at first, and I'm like, no, no, Gavin's serious. I'm including this. I thought it was a joke at first, and I'm like, no, no, Gavin's serious. I'm including this. One star was kicked out of the cemetery, which, have you ever been kicked out of a cemetery, anybody out there?

Not once. Was kicked out by those, or because those who, quote, unquote, maintain the cemetery thought it was weird. This sentence right away is just giving me. is just like the chicken bones i brought i was gonna say i had to just give that a cliffhanger because people are thinking it's weird what you're you just thought of a million different things blood sacrifices they're fucking on a headstone he's got her bent over you know sitting cross-legged with a pentastar and candles yeah what is going on here um thought it was weird that my girlfriend and i visited the cemetery and in parentheses place designed to visit that's all it's there for to give company to the lonely spirits yeah gavin that's weird not to not to

see someone in particular just a fucking bizarre You don't have any family in here? He might as well have said, what are you guys doing? Perusing the dead. That would be the same thing. Just hanging with our new friend. Yeah. And to enjoy and appreciate the beautiful weather and the beautiful grounds in which these souls remain with the spirit. My man.

Find a park. You need a hobby, Gavin. Find a fucking park if you want to enjoy the outdoors number one and number two you need friends this is weird find an abandoned mine gavin there's some souls down there too and i'm gonna say this to guys listening who don't have a girlfriend i don't want to hear it i don't want to hear it not only a word, motherfucker. I don't want to hear it. Not only does Gavin have a girlfriend, he's not even hiding this weird shit. She's there with him going, what the fuck? We're just hanging out with the souls.

So get it together, okay? She's a party, I guarantee you. Oh, yeah, she's fun. She's down. I believe the non-physical may also appreciate company and the positive energy to absorb. The what? Imagine telling that to some guy whose job it is to mow the lawn at a cemetery. A guy holding a fucking grasshog. He's like, what are you talking about?

You know how little money I make here? This is so sad. This thing's 18 volts and i will weed whack your fucking face that's how you get people out you weed whack them off the property i also believe that everyone has their right to freedom of thought consciousness and religion true okay private property though and people can decide that you can't practice those things on their property the thing is people invest a shitload of money in their plot for their family to come visit. You didn't invest a motherfucker into this place.

Get out. Go in your yard and be weird. No one cares. That's what you can do. Or go in the woods and be weird. I've gone to Forest Lawn to go see celebrities' graves, obviously. And they don't like that either like you have to wander around going where do you where do you do you remember where aunt may's shit

is that yeah we have to like pretend you have family there that's yeah otherwise you're a fucking weirdo and i was a weirdo well you don't go to mcdonald's if you don't have if you don't want food you know what i mean you don't just go i just love the atmosphere here it's just the atmosphere the smell of French fries. I love it. But if you're a grave tourist. I just wanted to keep Grimace company. No one says that.

I'm here for the hamburger. What the fuck? That's the equivalent of what he's saying, though, right? Sorry to interrupt you. But if you're a grave tourist and they catch you and they go, you need to get out of here, you got to go, yeah, you're right. Yeah, okay. I know. You got me.. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay. You got me.

I was looking for Sinatra's grave. Fine. I only say that because I've seen Sinatra's grave. It's in Palm Springs, actually. Yeah. My gangster friend took me there and knew right where it was. Drove up, got out of the car, walked like it was his father's. There it is.

There he is. I was like, wow, that was fast. Pay your respects. Let's get the fuck out of here. He knew. It's the Italian thing you have to do. I've seen Disney. I saw fucking Michael Jackson.

They're all there. They're all there. I saw a shitload of them. Oh, my God. I believe that, or he said freedom of thought, consciousness, and religion. I believe that because that actually happens to be the case. Okay. You fucking weirdo.

I tried calling to figure out what what rules i have broken yeah rules of being a weirdo you made a phone call after this embarrassment that's one of those yeah yeah yeah i know yeah i was being weird it's fine i get it i was being weird how does he not know what he did? Gavin. I mean, what the fuck? However, my phone number was then blocked. Yes, because that's how weird you were. A cemetery blocked your phone number. If your grandma dies, we don't even want her.

Get the fuck out of here. Call them, let alone show up. You have creeped and spooked out a cemetery. Do you understand the level of weird? Because these are morbid people calling all the time. All they hear about is death. These are people that dig holes to... To throw corpses into. Literally.

They don't want you calling them. Their job is to dispose of dead bodies. And they're like, Gavin, no. We're not doing it with you anymore. You're too much man wow so with that i guess i cannot expect to call back to inform me of the rules that i have broken you've trespassed gavin that's what you've done you fucking yikes so i come here to ask again what my girlfriend and i were doing wrong if we were breaking rules then sorry won't happen

again however after some research i struggled to find the rules in which we were breaking try trespassing google that and there's two thumbs up on that review which is probably gavin and his girlfriend yeah or some other weirdo some other fucking creep oh okay so that's what happens when you die that's where you're gonna go jesus christ that said let's talk about some people who are gonna die soon okay okay the golden bachelor from television recently here let's talk about that everyone on that show don't go to that cemetery but i have not seen this show but i haven't either i've heard of it i've been saying for years and everybody I'm sure has. It thinks about like the television business or streaming business or whatever that, you know, moving fucking images business here.

I've been saying that. How come people live a lot longer now? Yeah. People are living longer and they have money when they're older and stuff like that. Why is nothing made for old people? You know, nothing's made for old people. And I'm'm like why because they're you could get them to buy shit probably you know what i mean so they should probably do it and then they came out with this and i was like that's a great fucking idea that's gonna kill and then it was like the number one

show yeah it was great on google though and this is like an aggregate of like rotten tomatoes and imdb only has 3.7 out of 5 stars, though. That's not bad, right? Is it? I suppose. People are angry. Some people are very angry at this show for some reason. Oh, yeah. Here's a 5 star, first of all.

Okay. I absolutely love this show. Okay. You're going to get a lot of this. This is Jennifer. Jerry is the real deal. I think that is the Bachelor guy. That's him. Of course, guy that's him i've never watched

a moment of any bachelor show ever bachelorette bachelor any i've seen pieces and bits and whatever i've never seen a whole season yeah i'm not above it i'll watch fucking sister wives tomorrow but i'm saying that you know this is different that one's difficult because it's, I don't know, the arrogance, really, I hate it. That makes sense. I don't like that. How dare you think you deserve a partner? Like, that's the part that drives me nuts. Well, you deserve to choose between 30 of them is a weird thing to me.

And I get to sleep with all of these girls. I mean, hey, you got to test it out. Hey, you got to give it a test drive. You know what I mean? I got to find out if I need this for the rest of my life. His sweet nature truly shines through. I love how considerate and kind he is with all the women. There's nothing arrogant or self-absorbed about him.

He exudes humility. You probably fucked a bunch of women on this show. A lot of older ladies. The women are terrific, too, and as diverse in appearance, personality, and interest as any other group of women. The only thing they're not diverse in, would believe for me is age they're all they represent well that older women are just as attractive interesting and admirable as the younger women you see on the bachelor i already love this show 100 times more than the regular one because the maturity and life experience of the cast adds a layer of death she meant death and said death which is hilarious

because you're talking about a bunch of 70 year old people that is amazing you know the maturity and life experience adds an extra layer of death meaning they could die at any minute it gives it a texture it's layered like a soup at that point that speaks more about the human experience we share life challenges loss of love, aging. Please keep doing this show, ABC. You got a real winner. Okay. Okay.

They know. They loved it. Here's Lisa with one star. Uh-huh. I pitched the concept of this show for all caps, years. To who? I wrote this show. To your friends, to your family family did you go to a fucking network

and sit down with them and pitch it because that's what you really need to do usually that's how shows i've been pitching it back and forth off the wall every time i watch it i say they should do it they should do that my age i wanted a sexy senior and they chose the golden bachelor which is charming and befitting the show is sincere and captures honest feelings that are authentic as a 64 year old woman that has been single for many years yep i can relate on desperately wanting love again on wanting love again for each and every woman that is part of this show. Yes, they choose some very beautiful, favorable people to be a part of the show. That was expected. The rest seems like a fairy tale that came true.

Thank you for listening, finally. Yes, they were listening to you. I read your fucking diary. Let's listen to Lisa, finally. Let's see what Lisa has to say. We've gone through all these talented people that we've been working with for years. What about Lisa? A 64-year-old woman. What does she have to say. We've gone through all these talented people that we've been working with for years. What about Lisa? What about a 64-year-old woman?

What does she have to say? Man, and of course, a golden bachelorette has to follow. Make this a staple. Yeah. Okay. Next up, here's the bad now. One star.

From Tracy Baby Girl, is her fucking handle here. One star. What a great representation of appearances for our seniors in the United States these ladies were so beautiful and apparently in good health

living healthy lifestyles it was nice seeing that that's the good yeah then up sad in all capital letters with asterisks around it what I didn't like was all that tongue down kissing. I don't want to see their old fucking. I don't want to see their old dental work in there.

I don't want to see dentures. No, but this is, this is fucking, I want the people to look nice and be healthy and happy. Just don't like touch each other or do anything gross. Don't be gross. I'm not watching granny porn. This is amazing. Tongue down kissing like kids who haven't learned how to verbally express themselves. Well, perhaps.

They're still fucking horny, lady. I was going to say, there's only so far you can go in verbal expression when it comes to sex. You know what I mean? At some point, someone's got to touch something. You know what I mean? Let's get wet. Yeah. It's just nasty.

Three exclamation points. At any age. So no one should ever make out. Ever. Wow. They could have given a long hug or a closed mouth kiss. This isn't Mormon church. It's fucking television in 2023.

What are you talking about? And these are people in their last 20 or so years. Who cares? They want to fucking... They got human needs. Old people fuck a lot. They don't give a shit. All the time. Yeah. They know they don't have time. What are they waiting for?

This thing might not work tomorrow. I could break my hip tomorrow and it'll be out of commission. I just felt because they were older, it would be an opportunity for the older generation to show the younger generation, the current one, too, ways of connecting through conversation in a mature, sensual way. Why do you need other people? Fuck you. You want retirement home, Golden Bachelor.

You want, like, invalid Golden Bachelor. Like, I can't move two people in hospice care next to each other go and spend the next the last five days of our lives together okay hold my hand and describe my eyes without saying sparkle or diamond yeah jesus or sunset can you not say sunset please or sunrise especially in a world where conversations are replaced through texting. I'm almost 60 myself, and it's very hard dating with self-respect, let alone receiving respect or having an actual conversation, because this has become a norm of physically connecting before mentally connecting. I just hope it gets better.

Oh, God, Jesus. I am so sore. That is not a fun lady. Mental gymnastics, man. If you don't like sex, you don't like sex. Fine. But don't push it on us. She puts out shitty candy for her grandkids, and you know it.

It's bad. It's not good stuff. It's unidentifiable. Jesus, it's so fucking shitty. Those sour balls at the grocery store that are not sour at all. Yeah, like what is that? Every once in a while, there's a patch of it on there. Then it just tastes like cardboard. I don't this next up pam with one star okay loved it and

thought it was genius until it was meet the family setup i guess they meet each other's families when they start whittling down probably jerry turned out to be a all caps fool at best okay because he didn't pick the one you like. That's right. At 72 years old, he should have known better and been a gentleman and not slept with both women and tell them both he loved them. Well, 72, his dick still works and he's still a guy, I guess, so we got that part. Also, don't watch any of The Bachelor's Ed because that's what they do. They're all doing that, but you expect better out of older people.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. I learned it from you, Dad. That's where I then, because that's what they do. They're all doing that, but you expect better out of older people. Okay, yeah. I learned it from you, Dad. That's where I learned it. That's what this is. I learned it by watching you. What do you think? Where do you think everybody learns everything? Yeah. After he was with Leslie, he should have figured out a way to either tell

Teresa or ask her to wait until he would figure out the other relationship. His daughters and granddaughters are watching. Okay. Grandpa getting some tail. Getting a little trim on the side. Alright. Not sitting on his lap again.

Oh, Jesus. It's all damp. Stinky lap. As well as the families of these women. I thought he seemed sensitive and aware, but he greatly disappointed. I thought our generation was finally going to show our kids how adults should act. What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

70-year-olds right now were born in the early 50s, making them the hippie generation. So why the fuck would people who took their fucking tits out and did acid and a fun, their dicks swinging wild in a field in the fucking mud for days at a time on fucking drugs you just got from some guy who came up and handed it to you and you put it in your fucking mouth. What made you think you would be the center of moral fucking affinity. I don't understand what we're talking about. The guy that hitchhiked, goddammit,

with several different people, jumped in the back of a pickup truck to head to a field to do drugs randomly. That's it. And fuck everybody. And fuck everybody covered in mud and shit. That guy, we expect him to be a fucking monk now. I don't get it.

This isn't the older generation. This is that generation now. Right. You can't. Those older people are gone. The generation before them are fucking dead. Yeah. Those are the people who served in World War II.

They were too tired to fuck in a field. That's why. They were exhausted. They beat Hitler, for Christ's sake, so you could fuck in a field. The only redeeming thing that came out of the show is the support of women. They said as, so I read it wrong there, but it is. I think they're trying to say. I know it's a show, but I just keep looking for, all caps, adults to step up and be the example for our kids to see how we should act and treat one another.

That wouldn't be a highly rated show. No. Old people's nice congenial conversation is not a fucking show that anybody watches that's not what you're watching even on the golden girls they bickered and argued and it was funny you're looking for a pond nobody wants to watch that yeah you want to watch henry fonda stare into a fucking reflection of a pond go ahead i don't want to watch it i watched that when i was like five or some shit it was on hbo and i was like this is boring but i watched the whole thing i was like that was terrible never watching that

again she's basically looking for the ending of green mile she just wants to see the tom hanks and old lady character live happily ever after together that's not the world man no sorry it's just not it's just not no humans have just not. No. Humans have needs. Couldn't be more right. Yeah. And at any age. Yeah. Sorry.

Physical affection is part of it. That's part of it. I had such hopes and thought it was genius because all my girlfriends were watching and it even had a 70s, even had 70s thinking maybe it could happen. ABC, you almost got it right, but went wrong. Very wrong. Okay. Jesus. I'm like upset.

There has to be conflict. That's what makes shows great, no matter what the show is. Conflict matters. Okay. Marina gives it one star. I have never watched The Bachelor, but being in my 60s, I thought I would binge the series. Yeah. Let's do it.

Totally ridiculous show. These women were beautiful, smart and fun it's embarrassing to see them ridden with jealousy while their fellow contestants make out like teenagers with the quote prize over that over him all competing to marry a man they barely know the show is not about love. It's about ratings. Yeah. It's a TV show. Yeah.

That they're all about ratings. Now you're getting it. What executives sit around and go, I don't even care if the board fires us. I just want love to prevail. Nobody says that. I'm so tired of the industry. Let's just reinvent it. Let's just say fuck it, man.

With just like sweet, no sex. Yeah. Not even the allure of it. No, no. We'll have a terrible courtroom. The board will fire all of us from our cushy millions plus dollars of year jobs. But you know what? Let's make it because Marina wants to see old people have nice chats.

Let's have a 70-year-old man meet 90-year-old people. That'll be great. That'll be-old people. That'll be great. That'll be a fun conversation. That'll be good. The day I would get excited to receive a rose from a guy who's made out with everyone in the room will never happen. Okay. All right. Well, I don't think anyone invited you on the show, Marina.

Marina, I got a feeling it's a good thing that nobody just introduces themselves with their body count to you. Because if you're meeting anybody in their 60s or 70s, how many people have they fucked? Holy Christ. Deal with it. It's fine. Every human has a past. It's all good. This is from Mini Martha.

So a small version of Martha. Tiny Martha. Tiny Martha. One star. I don't watch reality shows. That's the first sentence with reality shows in quotes. Like we don't know what that is. We know what they are, lady.

And the period inside the quote, which drives me crazy. Anyway, it seems that some people will do anything to be on TV. Yes, people on reality shows. We've been watching them for 25 years. Those are the people. Yep. Letting cameras follow your every private moment. Ick.

Did you just figure out reality shows existed? As a parent, 61 years old, I would not want to see my adult children making out or more on TV. I found it odd that a 71-year-old man didn't take the time to shave for his date. Apparently he left some scruff on. Perhaps he left the scruff because chicks find it sexy. I think that's a look. Some women like it. Maybe that date

said she liked that. I put effort into being presentable for a date. Why wouldn't he? You're not on a date with him. She just made it so I showed up and he looks like this you're not on the show mini martha what are you talking about hard pass she says not offered anything you have not been offered an opportunity to pass on, ma'am. I apologize. And the last line, sadly, I can't post without a one star. So she wants to give it no stars.

Holy shit. Okay. These are fucking great. Joan says this. One star. I enjoyed watching The Golden Bachelor up until last night's episode when the women had a question and answer session to pass some time i felt the questions were smutty in poor taste it's a dating what okay um i wonder what they asked you've never seen rock of love have you no god please don't watch that jesus hey uh this is my question i'm brett michaels this is my question. I'm Brett Michaels. This is my question. How many...

What's the highest number of guys you've had fuck you at the same time on a bus? That's the type of questions they were asking then. And girls were like, um, eight, I guess. I don't know. Does R all count? What?

That's what that show was. And then there's a little talking talking head where it goes thank god he didn't ask me about the hot air balloon oh that was wild up there three guys fell out it was so crowded plumbing it to their debts and then brett's like i gotta go put on some fucking i gotta go put on some crab cream i'm gonna walk away itching his crotch because he's i gotta go put on crab cream and a new wig. And a new wig. And some better eye shadow.

I felt the questions were smutty and poor taste. I wonder who wrote them. Writers, probably. TV writers who are like, write them gross. Yeah, write them, you know, so we can put that on a trailer. And people go, ooh, are the old ladies going to answer those questions? That's why you know there are those of us that feel something should remain private how many women had grandchildren or parents watching that show well less more

grandchildren less parents i'm gonna guess just just out on a limb here just out on a limb here. Just out on a limb. More grandkids than parents. Much more. So, and then finally, this is fucking great. There's two more that are wonderful. Oh, no, that one. So I thought you got to do three more. I'm sorry. Okay.

Here's now, there's guys. These are all women. Now here's Kenneth. One star. OMG! Question, or exclamation. I was totally disgusted at the antics of these women trying to charm Jerry. So he's a total other thing.

These slutty pigs. These fucking old whores trying to this nice old man. I don't even know any of these types of women in real life. The swearing and the vamping and the exposing was above and beyond tasteful he likes a classier woman lodge man jesus so that's it i'm done i've watched 20 minutes of it and shook my head the whole time and decided i didn't want to shake my head for the next few episodes and shut it down head shaker kenneth over here um next is alissa one star cringe all caps spelled out with dashes between the letters that's what fucking reality tv is why they make it that's

don't look at tiktok lady fuck yeah i love the elderly i embrace aging myself i'm happy these people have a lot of life left in them in, but this show is extraordinarily raunchy and gross. Are they plowing each other right there on the screen? Is this granny porn? Does he go, hey, grandkids, turn around. I'm going to finger your grandma real quick. Turn around. Look over there.

Quick. And finally, last one. This is Mark, and he's out of his fucking mind. One star. Out of his mind, Mark. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of his fucking mind. One star. Out of his mind, Mark. I'm out of my mind. I'm out of my fucking gourd. Mark says, one star, dude gets choice of second wife starting at 60 years old plus?

Yeah, Mark. They should give him 18 years old plus. Full range, please. What the fuck? He's 72. What is he even talking about talking what are you talking about what a weird show would it have to be have an old man standing up there then to have a range of 18 to 65 year old women for him to choose from what if that would be a show right there i'll tell you what mark mark might be on to something with this crazy shit.

If you want pure train wreck, if you're talking about just train wreck TV, I think Mark just nailed it. He just laid it all out. What he should do, what they should do is take- Is that Mark Burnett? Is that his name? Is that one of the TV producer guys? Is that him? Mark, is that you?

Mark, get two of the girls from Survivor, two of the girls from Big Brother, two of the girls from survivor two of the girls from big brother two of the girls from rock and throw them all in there and then put them in a tank and put a shark in there and see what happens i don't know what's going on this guy maybe a girl from flavor of love uh yeah yeah yeah put new york in there too so wow full range, please. Dude puts in his time so should get full possibilities of his efforts. Dude puts in his time? He's working so hard. What the fuck? He should be this guy's agent.

He's working for him. This is wild. If he wants 83-year-old Myrna, okay. He also might want 24-year-old Bambi. I'm sure he does. The point is, it's not realistic for him to fuck 24-year-old Bambi. Unless he is sold. You got to sell at least 30 million albums to pull that off, I feel like.

That's what that has to be. In your 70s? Yeah. You got to be like a rock star to do that. You can't do that otherwise. Bambi. Why do you say Bambi? Come otherwise come on Bambi stand next to Myrna he's gonna pick between you why did he say Bambi that sounds young I guess yeah I know but it's in the 80s it sounded young that was the name for like a big titted girl in the 80s oh it's Bambi that's what the on cheers somebody's name would be Bambi that Ted Danson was fucking.

It was a fake name, too, for like a stripper or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a family friend whose wife's name was Bambi, and she was, boy, was she a party. Jesus Christ. I was like 11, and I saw that woman's tits. Oh, nice. That's a kind woman is what you just said. Oh, my God, Bambi's tits are out.

Kind lady. The second family maybe affects his grown kids. Oh, the second, no exclamation point. That was first. Now second, family maybe affects his grown kids and the producers get sued. The fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about, Mark? They should have trip to THC land in there somewhere.

Old people getting high together now? Mark, what are you doing? What are you talking about now? Mark, save your ideas. You're on to something. A group of people from 18 to 70 hanging out, just smoking weed, having a fuck fest orgy. Just eating gummies. Threesomes with Myrna and Bambi.

I don't know what's going on here. We should involve some drugs in this and really get them fucked up. Oh, my God. But he'd have to lose his job to satisfy the identity thieves, lounge lizards running things. What are you fucking talking about, Mark? He's really fascinating. He should hang out with Gavin at the cemetery because I don't know what's going on. But maybe he's flush and retired. Have you the show they tell you who he is it's

he's not a mystery person or maybe make him a worthless scrub in second season cults cults or raiders what like a bad team like that oh okay, okay. Who cares, dude? And one person found that helpful somehow. It was that weird person. Yeah, I agree. Finally, now that we're, I don't even know where we are. We've died. I'm confused.

I'm confused. I feel down in the dumps, man. I feel like it's bad things. Let's get lifted back up. What do you say? You know how we do that? How? With Nemea silicone bra inserts, breast pads, sticky push-up

inserts for swimsuits, dresses, and bikinis. Three pairs for $10 on Amazon. Fake titties you don't have to have surgery for. No, no. They stick to like your bra or whatever, your bathing suit. Some cheaters. Yeah, just some tit fucking little cheaters all right cheaters 3.7 stars on amazon with 2343 ratings so a lot of a lot of tits have

been sold right we have no idea what tits and what aren't out there put it that way it's a lot of jelly so it is uh let's see yeah it's 9.99 it.99. It's 50% silicone, 41.5% nylon. I guess that's the outside of it. And 8.5% spandex. Care instructions, hand wash only. Yeah, you shouldn't look at these things, Jimmy. Would you put these in a washing machine? Fucking.

They're just cups? Yeah, they're just like squishy. Yeah, you can't put that in the microwave. Or the microwave in the washing machine. You can put it in the microwave or the microwave in the washing machine and then they are made in china okay okay which makes sense for the description um about this item okay all capital letters yeah work perfect for small breasts you know what accent you heard that in you know what i mean no plural anywhere no s yeah no no yeah that's wow work perfect for small breasts well yeah work perfect for small breasts nimia silicone bra inserts are ideal for small chested women.

Stick them to fit any of your outfits. They can give a little extra padding and lift, which make your look full, but not fake at all. Best for AB cup size. Okay. Self-adhesive bra inserts have excellent stickiness, can secure the bra pad, stick very very well and stay in place all day. Stick these bra inserts to instead bra. I don't know what that means. Let backless and low cuts become a breeze.

Also superb for swimsuits, bikinis, bridesmaids, dress, et cetera, et cetera. Invisible. These sticky bra cups don't add an excessive cup size that looks ridiculous, but just provide a natural amount of push-up. Definitely undetectable under your clothes so nobody will know your little secret. Suitable for uneven breast.

Perfect for small breasts. Suitable for uneven. If you have problem with boobs, come in different sizes and shapes. That's the greatest line ever written on an iron. I will repeat that. When I can breathe again, I'm going to repeat that because I can't stop laughing. If you have problem.

If you have problem with boobs come in different sizes and shapes. These bra filler insert would be great. God damn it. Oh my god. Okay. The stickiness is supposed to withstand water and still be sticky by the way. Oh really?

To the body or to the bra? To the bra. To the bra. Fucking Chinese glue to your body. What do you have in your mind? To my body or to the bra? To the bra. To the bra. Stick fucking Chinese glue to your body. What do you have in your mind? You hear this to my body? Are these like those sticky hands that you wash it with toothpaste? Yeah, I think so.

Still, you throw it against the wall. Watch it walk down. I think that's exactly what's going on here. Here's five stars. Yeah. Great is the title. Okay five stars. Yeah. Great is the title. Okay. Great.

Yeah. Okay. I was a little skeptical about these bad boys, but they do a really good job at giving the girls a little oomph. Okay. All right. That's the kind of review you want.

I have small breasts, 34A, and the best, it's all good. They're all wonderful. We don't care. That's not small. That's great. It's fine. It's wonderful. They're all wonderful. We don't care. That's not small. That's great. It's fine.

It's wonderful. Doesn't matter. It's horrific. And the best bras I have ever owned have had this style padding. I don't think they necessarily give a lot of cleavage, but they definitely do a good job of discreetly making it look like I have a little more going on down there. Okay. Up there? Up there, I think.

Well, down from her head, I guess. She looks down i will also say they need to be worn under something that's already pretty tight or supportive because otherwise they're just flopping around inside your clothes which is weird that's no good that's nobody needs that well your tits to just keep changing size and shape and everything they're also super sticky can't speak on behalf of people with big boobs, but if you smaller ladies are looking for something to help fill out your clothes a little,

let's just a little, a little more say less and get these. Say less. Next up five stars title, maximum boobage, maximum boobage. I've seen that for now. Yeah.

Juliana maximum boobage, five stars. I usually don't leave reviews, but I really like these. I wore them to a music festival, so lots of jumping and sweating and had zero problems. And now I'm married. Yeah, now I have twins. I even double them up for maximum boobage. Oh, you can put in two she's like i will be a fucking d a double d before the end of this day i did not wear them in water nor did i wash and

reuse so i can't speak on those but they work perfectly for me in the way i needed will purchase again she's like i just need an afternoon boob insert for sure for 10 bucks you can throw them out yeah that's i mean yeah there's three pairs in there so you can absolutely do a lot okay next up diana five stars love that these stick inside the clothes love these and bought them twice okay a couple i'm given as a reason to say how sticky they are here yeah next up ashley five sticky. Okay. I bought these for my bridesmaid's dress, and they lasted the whole night without moving. They helped give me the extra push-up I needed so I didn't have to wear a bra. Oh, because just right on the dress she put.

Super comfy, didn't even notice them, definitely will buy again. Only downside, they're a one-time use. That makes sense. Next one, one star star worst product i've ever bought okay she didn't go to this party didn't go to the different party i tried to use these for a halloween costume and they did not provide any lift did not fit the costume right and were not sticky enough all the way around huh so too sticky perfectly sticky not sticky at all tell me the costume i need to know lady i know it's one with tits slutty something sexy something is you know um one star cynthia

think sticky mouse traps this person says so that person's so sticky not sticky enough. This person says, could fucking hold a rodent down until it dies. Until it dies of malnutrition. We'll hold a snake until it starves to death. Wow. He said, good for catching mice, but not for my boobies. Okay. That's nice. Jassy gives it two stars.

Does not fit. Doesn't fit. Didassy gives it two stars. Does not fit. Oh. Doesn't fit. Did not fit with my boobs. Awkward in dress and can see the print of outlined sticky boobs through dress. Oh, no. Not good. Not impressed.

No. No one was, I'm sure. Yeah, like a fucking gelatin donut in her fucking... Like, what is that? Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it. Next up, one star the title is lies oh they claim good for bathing suits lies is what this person says doesn't stick purchased

for a bathing suit and had the most embarrassing moment doesn't stick just missed my window of return by a few days. Oh, no. She was swimming and it fell out. Well, I don't know if that happened, but I know what happened to Mary next with one star. Title of this review, they were floating in the public pool. That's the title. She did not bury the headline.

She gave it right there. She wore them to the public pool. Whoops. Oh, man. Ma'am, your titties are in the public pool. Whoops. Whoops. Oh, man. Ma'am, your titties are in the deep end. Yep. I swam one length and turned around. I thought.

She swam her titties out. Swam them. She must be good. Former Olympian. I thought the kids had again thrown a ball into the swimming lanes. Alas, it was this pad floating in the pool i'm glad i hadn't thrown it back to the kids i love mary mary's awesome she seems fun to hang out with she's like ah my titty fell out i don't care she seems cool cat skin oh no uh Next up, Jose.

One star, really bad quality, falls apart when washed. Product can't be washed. Jose? Jose, what are you doing? Well, you need tits too sometimes. One star from Caroline does absolutely nothing. They stick well to my swimsuits but have done nothing to lift my breasts. They're also real.

They were $10. They did nothing to. Yeah, I wanted a $10 boob job. I didn't get it. They are also really small and I'm guessing aren't supposed to be for bigger chess. Well, the description in it we read says A or B size is what you want. So if you have a D, you don't need these. Number one. You're doing great.

Yeah. And then finally, Sarah, one star, disappointed. Sarah without the H for my wife, definitely not her. Disappointed, one star, didn't lift nothing. I bought them because it said they lifted. I was moving that day. She had to leave it behind. Man.

So Jerry has, you know, he shouldn't have any of these older women and all this, and then there's tits floating in the pool, so it's a tough time. I say everybody just lie back and get yourself a rechargeable blowjob. What do you say, everybody? Going to part two of our personal corner this week. We made our personal corner because it's the holidays. We wanted it to be warm and cozy and personal. You know what I'm saying?

Those are three words that describe a blowjob. And you could play this episode at a Christmas party, and I think it's good for the whole family. You know what I mean? That's the other thing. I think mom, dad, kids, everybody's going to be happy. happy grandmas are gathered around it's a good stocking stuffer this is the piper rechargeable masturbator piper but the category it's under is blowjob simulator okay would you like to see this sleeve it's a sleeve yeah but there's like what is there is stuff inside of it there's like yeah it's like a pink mouth there's like what is there is like stuff inside of it there's like yeah it's like a pink mouth there's shit going on inside too yeah it's weird it better be good because

it's 119.99 oh my god 120 bucks only two and a half stars too on here so that's not james it's surprising what sex toys cost today there are i guess i'm not trying to say like an old man back in my day. Back in my day, a rechargeable masturbator you could get for a decent price. Rechargeable masturbators used to cost a dime. You can't abuse down at the Army Navy a dime. The surplus store. Nowadays, nobody fixes nothing they throw it out make a new masturbator and 120 what you get for it some man has discovered that ladies uh use them more than men

obviously but they almost some i don't know but they yeah there's more made for them but they are insanely priced some of these things are $300, $400. Oh, absolutely. It's crazy. There's designer shit and all that. Yeah. Here's the description from the site. Sucks you in, warms you up, and rocks your world.

I should have done a special episode just for this product because Jimmy's going to die during this. Warms you up, rocks your world. Feel the thrills of triple the stimulation. Jesus. Triple. Three girls? What's going on? I only need one, man.

Yeah. One stimulation is great. I'm like, hey, this is too much. Otherwise, the cops are going to burst in, I feel like. What's happening? The Piper Rechargeable Masturbator is ready to rock your rod in so many ways. Why do they got to say this? It's so easy to sell this.

Why do you have to do it like this? This will feel like a blowjob. That's all you need to say. Buy it. Oh, really? Don't buy yourself a blowjob all the time. It's rechargeable. Slide inside its flexible silicone love tunnel oh boy

and let 15 intense suction modes stimulate your wood with pulsation patterns and more 15 15 what are we talking about here how does that it, how do they change? There's not that many techniques to the whole deal, I really think. No, there's like three, four maybe? There's three, four, yeah. And you're still going, there's really only one. Yeah. People think there's three, four, but honestly. Overachievers believe so.

Yeah. You didn't invent anything, trust me. No, I assure you. Somebody else has thought of this a lot. This is a meat and potatoes kind of activity. Let's not get artistic about it. Next, discover the magic of its 15 powerful vibration functions. Feel multiple speeds, waves, pulsation, and patterns surround your shaft.

Jesus. And it feels so lifelike with three levels of warming no it doesn't no it really doesn't i usually don't have to i never had to plug a woman into the wall first so make sure i'm not up to date anyway you can change it to do you have like a second level of warm yes do you have have like another warmness? And you know what? How about vibration function number 13 also I'd like. Could you pulse and lick? Well, it says this. Combine them all for the ultimate stroking experience.

Oh my God. Waterproof. I would fucking hope so. I mean, honestly. You better have pretty good control because you will be electrocuted. I'm telling you that right now. It'll burn your dick off your body. And this isn't the interior dimensions.

This is the entire product. Overall Masturbator. That's a great name. I want someone's stage name or like trivia night name to be overall masturbator please that's great that's fine overall masturbator is 9.6 inches long by four inches wide made with a silicone sleeve and ABS plastic case. Anti-lock brake. Yeah, what?

Plastic case. Rechargeable. Rechargeable. Key features. Quickly. Okay. Enjoy toe-curling stimulation from a stroker that sucks, vibrates, and warms. Suction stimulates your wood with the power of air pressure.

15 suction modes include steady suction, pulsation, and patterns. Vibration surrounds your shaft with intense buzzing thrills. 15 vibration functions including speeds, waves, patterns, and more feels just like real with three lifelike warming settings. Runs up to three hours on a charge, by the way. Jesus, how long? With all those, it better happen now. Why do you to three hours on a charge by the way jesus how long did you with all those you better it better happen now why do you need three hours and what are the patterns fucking argyle fucking let's find out back and forth figure eight me let's do it what do you got there charlie brown sweater let's find out what we got here. Five out of five. Mind-blowing.

Oh, I believe it. It's absolutely wonderful. The sucking and vibrations are amazing, and add the heat, and it's a whole different world. Okay. It takes a while to get warm, but feels great. The next best thing to the real thing. Like a seat heater?

Yeah, that's what I mean. You're going to be a mile away from your house before your butt starts getting warm same thing just warming up um loads of fun oh don't say that this is five stars loads of fun as i had to hit that one hard for you jimmy loads gross solo or together huh why do you need it no i get that men will you know mess around with women and we all play with their sex toys or whatever and do all that but not we're like no no we like no you have a mouth what am i doing you're here i don't need yeah i don't need that yeah we're different on that yeah this product really sucks. This is a five-star review. Yeah.

And I mean in a fantastic way, three exclamation points. Yeah. I played around with all the pleasure settings and loved every minute of it. Okay. The Piper is stylish and sleek. What is it, going to a fucking fashion week? What are we talking about here? I don't care.

Hang from a fucking little string and dangle from your hand as you walk down the street. People will think you're cool. What are we talking about? I don't care if it looks like an elephant trunk. I don't give a shit. In a really cool futuristic way. That's what I want to feel like. I'm fucking a futuristic robot.

Perfect. I'm fucking R2-D2. Much better. In case I'm an extra in the new robocop man i want to feel like i'm in total recall please it is very easy to use i really enjoy this toy and definitely recommend it like i said fun to use solo or with a friend i do recommend buying your favorite lube when you purchase this product that's the thing about these that thing inside you you will you will stick you will stick the five stars are just as good as the one stars on this one by the way uh works great five stars works great but i

wouldn't call it hands-free like the ad for me if you are using the suction it will put a hickey on your head if you get in too deep yeah oh my god i don't want that uh other than that it's fun and will drain you and relax you great not your energy oh that's not what they mean god jesus that's horrible it'll make you sleepy that's for sure which brings up the next question, which is answered here. Really easy to clean. Oh, gross. He just went down a timeline. My wife got all hot and jumped on me and finished me off the first time I used it.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus. Okay. Why include that part? Well, that's what I mean. Because I've got to sound like I'm not a loser who's doing it. I've got a wife who uses it on me. I don't just jerk off all on my own.

Sometimes I flip my wife. We know, dude. Way better, man. You're not going to believe it. Feels almost real, five stars. I was worried it wouldn't open up enough, but it drew me right in and throated me just like my wife.

This poor man's besmirched on the internet or complimented depending on how you want to look at his screen his screen name is big cat daddy 62 i think she knows what she's got in for right yeah she's not getting anything for herself, 62. No, 62. Oh, man. Until I couldn't hold it any longer. Yeah. The closest thing to real that I could ever imagine.

The wife loves to use it on me and watch my face as I let go. Yeah. At least she doesn't have to do it. We give it two thumbs, two boobs, and a penis up. Ew, what? Why? What are you doing? Rating. That is horrifying.

Okay, three stars now. And the title, Okay. This seems like it'd either be horrible or wonderful. Is there a middle ground here? It depends. If you've ever had a throat goat who's fucking incredible at this, then this thing's going to be awful. If it makes you cum, I think it's done its job at that point right yeah i suppose but if you i don't know man if you get food from mcdonald's it's not poisonous and it's food i think you want

point if you had a steak before you'll still eat mcdonald's it's fine yeah so does does provide a good feeling of vibration and subs uh some suction areas of improvement. This person listed them as a business plan. I can fix it. And he's got them one period. Depth needs to be increased. Despite the large size of the device, could not fit an average size penis fully inside. Only about three quarters of the way. Yeah, only about 13 of my inches.

Fuck you, dude. It holds nine inches. No, no, it's nine inches long. Oh, the whole thing? Got it. quarters of the way yeah only about 13 of my inches yeah i got the call tab there it holds nine inches no no it's nine inches long oh the whole thing got it yeah so uh we don't know what's in there what the how much the mechanical shit takes up or any of that stuff number two needs to have option of different sleeves for more texture okay this thing is ultra smooth and somewhat lacks that kind of stimulation. Oh, he wants knobs inside. He wants nodules and shit, yeah.

Three, there's a tiny hole deep inside the silicone where the suction occurs. What's beyond that is impossible to see. But no one will ever know what's inside the masturbator. Magic that. You'll never see Mr. Oz.

The man behind the curtain, You'll never see Mr. Oz. The man behind the curtain, you'll never see him. But some fluids end up being sucked back there, which makes cleanup very difficult. Right. No instructions were given on how to properly clean this thing. Four, the warming option could be warmer. Okay, yeah.

Or maybe it just takes a few minutes. No instruction on this. He's just never lasted long enough for it to get fully warm, and he's complaining. That's five stars, sir. Sir, it does better than you ever thought. Yeah. And this got 108 thumbs up and 12 thumbs down for his review. Wow. He seems to be on there.

Now one star. One star. Waste of money. Oh, not good. Waste of money. I would no recommend to my worst enemy. What? To my worst enemy.

Did it rip your dick off and then leave the room with it? And take it back behind the sleeve to chew it up? And feed it to a dog? It is not as expected by a long shot. Oh. Tell me more. Is that all he had? That's all he had.

That's it. And that got 10 thumbs up and no thumbs down. One star. Title, blowjob toy. Yeah. The user is BigD55, by the way. Okay, good for you, sir. None of the bra insert ones were like, you know, fucking slapping tits 55.

None of them were like about their tits. None of them were solid A's 23. Yeah, Double D Danielle fucking 45. Okay. Blowjob toy one star. To me, it wasn't warm at all. Okay. Maybe you can't feel it anymore.

Yeah, you're just out of sensation. Didn't have the sucking feeling I'm used to. Okay. Good for you. Didn't have a tongue. It's not a person, you fucking idiot. What do you want? It's crazy.

You want a fucking person who'll put their dick in your mouth is what you want. Didn't gargle and tell me it was great. I used it once and threw it away. Didn't even tell me it was the biggest they've ever had. It's fucking ridiculous. All right.

One star. Horrible. Oh? Most useless product ever. Most useless? Most useless. I mean, it's got AUs. For anyone that has a decent sex life, this thing does nothing whatsoever, and that feels like anything sexual.

You shouldn't have this if you have a sex life, right? Right, but that's the thing about these toys. It's not meant to simulate exactly sex. That's what I mean. It's meant to do some other weird shit. It's meant to get you to come and... Weird. And then shamefully clean it out.

Yeah. Get you to come and... Weird. And then in your... And then shamefully clean it out. Then be embarrassed about yourself. Then clean it out slowly and shamefully. Well, if I could get my life in order, maybe I wouldn't have to do this. Yeah, man.

There's no way this thing could get anyone off. Used it for two minutes, then straight to the trash. Get a pocket pussy. Fucking loser, get a pocket pussy. Threw it straight in the trash and went to my nightstand and fucked a pocket pussy. Took out my trusty pocket pussy.

Oh, man. Fuck that. Fuck the pocket pussy. Took out my trusty pocket pussy. I love when people show their ass like this on the internet. This is the best. This is great. One star. Yeah. Putrid stylized garbage. Putrid? Putrid.

Received it after like 12 days. What a bunch of monkey bums the shipping department is. Monkey bums? What the hell is that? Doesn't work. Tried to return it. They want me to pay for shipping. Yeah.

I don't want anything your dick's been in. You can pay for the whole thing. We'll get it and throw it right in the dumpster. Take that. That's your dildo, sir. Here's how you ship it. Put it in your trash can and they'll get it to us at the landfill yeah we never want that we don't care like i said garbage yeah and trying to submit this review it

says that stylized garbage is foul language so they only only accept glowing reviews must be communists okay because it says garb age on the top one star don't waste your money why not nothing close to how they describe it i sent it back the next day they just have a giant dumpster full of returned the balls on these people how dare you send your dna in the mail yeah here you go you are very trustworthy trusting damn i would say they're gonna drop it all over their dead fucking woman they just killed i'd go frame that motherfucker for all kinds of things one star not very durable lasted less than 10 uses randomly turns off and on and off by itself. That's actually a realistic function they were going to.

Why are you stopping? That's that function. It's called the why are you stopping function. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah, it's one of those. No, no, no. Just like that.

One star. Not good. No. It's sucking is supposed to feel like feels. The sucking it's supposed to feel like feels more like someone blowing air into your pee hole. Don't know why anyone would want that. It's going the opposite direction, which doesn't feel good at all. No.

Okay. Number one or one star again. Worst product ever, ever, ever. Yes. One star again. Worst product ever. Ever? Ever. Yes. This unit is not soft at all, though the vibration part is great and the strong suction part is absolutely worthless. Unless there is something wrong with the unit, there is no suction. The entrance of the unit needs to be redesigned to a flat entrance with a different sleeve, softer, more form-compliant material. Sounds like you need to make your own fuck toy.

Buy a flashlight, man. That's what it is. If you were a woman talking about a dildo, I'd say go find a fallen tree and whittle it down to your finest dildo because you are not going to be satisfied unless you make it yourself. And his username is Blue Harley. I love the new usernames on these guys. It could be any guy that you see on the freeway.

Blue Harley. That's him. Unsatisfied. Give me that guy. And then finally, this is great. One star. One star. One.

Quit working. Oh? Quit working after about six or seven months. What? That seems like you got seven months of blowjobs for $120. That's pretty good. That is a phenomenal deal, sir. Solid investment.

Product Hall of Fame right there. That stopped after about two months of marriage. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's way longer than that works. I got a replacement and it never worked. We'll see what happens when I get the third one. One star? You have the balls to bitch about this?

You sent back one that you worked on for eight months? Man, people are never satisfied and that's why we do this show. That is your stupid opinions, everybody. Follow all the pages on social media. Get in there. Listen to this show that is your stupid opinions everybody follow all the pages on social media get in there listen to crime and sports and your stupid opinions do all that shut up and give me murder.com is where you get everything next week we're going to start out with a dave and busters which is going to be a disaster and a nightmare and i can't fucking wait for it and more very personal shit thank you so much everybody we'll definitely see you next week have

a good one. Bye. Follow Your Stupid Opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.