Your Stupid Opinions - Hot Frosty Flop, Santa's Angry Village, Candy Cane Of Love

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

More all new reviews from around the internet! We spread some holiday complaint cheer with a Santa's Village, that has an owner who will challenge any slight. The Netflix holiday romcom "Hot Frosty", where women swoon for a dummy, made of snow. A very personal item that will probably look better of the tree than, under the sheets. A dog costume, with antlers that don't quite meet expectations & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody, welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there. My name is James Petragallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. We would like to say Merry Christmas first of all. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, this is coming out two days before Christmas, so we're going to do a little kind of a short and little truncated version because you know people were thinking we weren't going gonna do an episode at all this week, so we figured, what the hell? We'll surprise everybody with a little Christmas cheer. And we'll just do a few little Christmas things and make it silly and fun. So it's gonna be a good time.

I loved the Gangster Museum last week. That was a lot of fun. Hope you guys enjoyed. Absolutely. Hot Springs, Arkansas Gangsters. So this week we are gonna head over to, first of all, we are going to head over to Illinois to 601 Dundee Avenue in East Dundee, Illinois. Where the real gangster museum is?

I have no idea. No, that's the Australian knife man, knife wielding person museum. That's where that is. No this is actually Santa's Village. I don't know where East Dundee, Illinois is no fucking idea But they do have a Santa's Village here and that has 3.8 stars out of 5 Which seems low for a Santa's Village, you know what I mean? Do you have Christmas lights? That's pretty much how you can do it there. So. Pretty easy.

Absolutely. This place, it appears to be sort of a zoo slash amusement park that does holiday themed things too. So they'll have a Santa's village up in their park during Christmas time. They'll have an Easter bunny thing during whatever like the zoo basically like all the zoos do So that's what we got here. Let's get right into this here. Here we go This is this by the way is another one of these

I don't know what it is about these Halloween places and Christmas villages But if you say some shit these owners are fast to respond. They're mad They are mad and they're sarcastic and snarky it's fucking wild because I think it's if you have like a year-round business you have to try to like be nice to customers but if it's like once a year you're like hey fuck you I don't put spent a month putting this shit up go fuck yourself like you get so mad it's only for a month I don't care shut up you won't be back next year this shit is in the far west suburbs of Chicago.

Okay, so it's out there. It's way the fuck outside of Chicago. There we go, but a lot of the people here are from Chicago, so let's jump right in with Tass with one star here from Chicago, and here we go. She says, on 11, 24, 23, I love this, I went to Santa's Village magical Christmas drive thru booking Friday November 24th 2023 730pm with my 5 year old autistic disabled child.

Okay. Oh boy here's where it all goes wrong. Okay I must say that I was absolutely disappointed. The drive thru was not long. Apparently they have one of those drive-through light things, and then they have other shit, and then you go take pictures with Santa and all that kind of shit.

It's a short, quick night, probably. Yeah, it's not that big. We went to one of these Christmas village things last year, and it was like $35 to walk around and look at lights for 10 minutes. It was pretty ridiculous. The zoo lights in Phoenix, where they have lights in the shapes of animals. You don't

see fucking animals and you're walking around the city zoo and they charge you? They put like 3 billion lights up though. It's fucking crazy. I've been there. There's so many. I can't imagine what that takes to put all that shit up. It costs like $40 to see that shit. Yeah. Well, the thing I went to could have taken me and you could have put it up in a weekend, you know what I mean? Like it wasn't that, it wasn't like you didn't need a crew, it wasn't anything like that. They're covering the canopies of every single tree there with lights. It's fucking crazy

when you go there, yeah it really is. So, okay, now what made it longer was the waiting time for check-in which defeated the purpose because I was checked in after the time I reserved and paid for. So that's inefficient. The time the drive-thru lasted before getting to the end was not worth $35. Okay $35. See they're all $35. So they've got a different value. At the end of the drive-thru experience it was terrible. were parking in the handicapped spots that shouldn't have been parked there because they neither had a placard nor a handicapped license plate

And I have both which was not fair especially if my vehicle is licensed as a handicapped by the state of Illinois Yes, no, you shouldn't park in handicapped spots It was it was a huge hassle trying to park handicapped and there was no monitoring on the parking lot. In addition to this, once I was able to find parking, my son and I wanted to enjoy the SNOLUS tube slide. SNOLUS tube slide. That sounds like a euphemism for penis. Who wants to come see my SNOLUS tube slide? Everybody come on over. You slide on it enough, there's snow. Oh my god. That is fucking amazing. And purchase a stoop slide. And purchase the delicious funnel cakes and hot chocolate while creating endless memories

in our enchanted village as stated by santa village. She wants what was stated in the advertisement of what they have Endless memories and yes They said make endless memories in our enchanted village and she said I'm holding you to that I will be trying to if I don't I want my money back if the memories end. I want my money back I'm not dealing with this shit Nor did I see these snow was okay There we go snow was tube slide and the experience of getting a funnel cake cake for my son was horrendous a long wait in line to only abruptly get the what is that to only abruptly get the booth window abruptly closed to my

face she used a she only separated abruptly by four words that's too many probably she forgot that she used it I think so the guy who was at the register could have at least told me hey, I'm going to help my co-workers with the prior orders I'll be back in a few minutes to attend to you But to rudely close the window on me was a huge disrespect Not an inconvenience disrespect respect. Yeah, she's upset about the respect here What he did was rude and lacked customer service Funny how the lady before me was white and she got attended beautifully and I'm Hispanic. The only irony I was discriminated against or the irony was the irony I was discriminated

against. That doesn't make sense. I was so pissed so I left and my child was left crying because none of the things advertised were available And I left him there and I led just left him there. I said when that window opens get a funnel cake I left him ten bucks and fucking got in my car My child couldn't enjoy the whole setup in the park because it was discombobulated and unorganized and not autism Sensory approved it was just a horrible setup. There was no structure to keep everything in check. I had a horrible experience and was not autism approved. Now I don't know, now this is the thing. I have an autistic son and at five years old,

that is a tough one to deal with. It's a tough time. He's great now, but at the time, very difficult. And I don't, did it say on the website it was autism approved or I don't know like what yeah was the Autism Board of America yes that's what do they have a blue light outside or whatever the fuck like because I'm gonna be honest I like we know taking my son places back in the day you would vet that shit yeah yeah and it wasn't their fault

if it was tough because you know what I mean it's's it's yeah, so I don't know like I I've been on that side and you have to do your own homework there You can't just expect shit to be there for you. It's like having a peanut allergy You got a you got a yeah, you better look around and make sure yeah, I mean granted this isn't gonna kill the kid But no no no no certainly it could certainly set them off. Yeah have a bad night in a bad Yeah, yeah day next day and everything else so Then she goes on to say on 11 26 23 I commented on the Santa's Village page Facebook page post and my profile got blocked

They are hiding something oh Man Santa's got bodies on him. They don't even know. Under that big throne, there is a corpse. Watch out. They don't want to know how discriminatory they are toward children with disabilities. OK, now Jason writes back to her.

And she puts a screenshot up, apparently, so owner manager something he writes Cassandra I'm sorry to hear of your dissatisfaction I was hoping to try to resolve your issues in a positive way that is now impossible with your accusations Oh Like you painted us in a corner I will tell you the picture you posted is just of an underage minor and suggest you remove the picture immediately. There will be no further response from our company as your accusations are completely unfounded. Enjoy the holidays. Go fuck yourself. Enjoy

the holidays. Hope you have a nice cookie. Hope you have some. So then she writes back to him. Oh, but post the screenshot of his response from Facebook and then post her response to that on Google. OK. Unbelievable. This is really going back and forth. This is, yeah. It got deep, man.

I was like, dude, this is. Yeah, oh boy. This is crazy. They're firing from all cannons. Anything, any cannon they got is getting loaded here. Response to Jason. I will tell you it's Cassandra One s not Cassandra with two s's listen Cassandra come the fuck down

Okay, listen the relax relax. Holy shit. I mean Andy. Yeah Come on, man. So my concerns are accusations according to you Come on, man. So my concerns are accusations according to you How so well she does she does I would call they are hiding something an accusation Pretty big they are hiding a huge neck a wild accusation honestly Shoot from the hip like incredibly incredibly vague to Their own conclusion. It's not even amen. That's just fire around the room. Whatever they hit they hit they don't want to know how discriminatory

They are toward children with disabilities. That's also an accusation also an accusation. That's a direct accusation Yeah, you're discriminatory toward disabled children. That's pretty fucked up. That's not a good one So she says how so and then you falsely accuse me of harassment on social media in your Yelp response because I'm expressing my concerns? Defensive mechanism from you to not take accountability for ignoring my concerns. Yet you stated in your Yelp response about flashing lights who even mention flashing lights. Oh, you have responded to me several times here say Here say you don't know what here say means

That's not what here say means here say doesn't mean bullshit here say means some shit you some when you heard from someone else That's here say my god Here say exclamation point once like that's not here say We're she's like a she's like a criminal that represents themselves Here say exclamation point once like that's not here say She's like a she's like a criminal that represents themselves. Yes, just says random shit random shit. Yeah, she's like fucking Wow Everybody she's like Ted Bundy defending himself here say you don't know what that means. Mr. Bundy Where's your proof? Hence, why I sent my emails

because nobody responded to me accordingly and I'm harassing your staff and guests? How? Please enlighten me. How am I achieving this? You're replying and reviewing on every form of way of contacting them. Yo, Facebook. This is from Google, I mean it's everywhere.

That's harassment, lady. That's everywhere, I mean, Jesus Christ, this is, it's real personal. You're attacking on all fronts, that's war. She said, how am I achieving this? Your accusations against me are completely unfounded. Coincidentally, the picture I posted was that of an underage minor. Oh, you're lying now? Okay. So how come he's your 19-year-old son who isn't a minor in the picture I posted? Apparently she posted a picture of Jason's 19-year-old son who probably works there.

As saying this is an employee. And she's saying that's not a minor it's fine the fact that you don't even know your son's age explains the level of service I received like the guy thinks his son's a minor you're so disconnected from your own you don't even you don't know she don't even know how fucking old your kids are never mind if it's an autism approved experience. Wow. Cassandra's swinging hard. She is really shooting from the hip here. Let me post a video of my front view camera footage on social media showing how I'm looking for parking in your business because there are people parked

in the handicapped areas without placards and handicapped license plates, yet nobody is supervising the parking lot. Most places don't have a supervised parking lot. You that's they figure there's the human beings. Yeah. Humans be a good person. That's what I mean. Don't do that. Don't park in the handicapped spot.

And if you're in a like a private lot like this, you know, you're not going to get a ticket. So it's more about not being a lot of those people do have the placard and not the plate. They just leave it in their fucking center console. Yeah, they know. Yeah. I mean, so they're just used to it. We don't you don't know you know I do Yeah, that's very rare You know somebody just broke their leg or something to or whatever the fuck because there is shame that goes along with the dickhead That does that yeah, if you hop out of your car And yeah, if you hop out of your car and do like a little dance and turn around and moonwalk into the business people

Go on the fuck asshole? What an asshole. How about whistling fucking Rudolph the Red Nose around here. Zippity-Doo-Dah and shit. Happy as can be. Perhaps the ADA should be aware that your parking lot is unorganized with no accessible parking spaces and not complying with the Americans with Disabilities Act, well they have the spaces so they are complying, unfortunately, in which your staff and you as the main responsible party are letting anyone

park their cars in the handicap accessible parking spots, which complicates things for other guests who do have their car under handicap to find parking and need the handicap parking. I think we've gotten to the root of her problem. I think this is the issue. I think she is super pissed she walked. Yeah, and I think also stuff is frustrating in her life.

And I get that. Every day. Every day. Every goddamn day. I think this is an outlet for it. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all a nightmare. Waking that child up is a nightmare getting them to school is a night Well, yeah, it's just stressful. Let's say nightmare. Yeah, it's just a lot of stress

Waking your child. That's not a nightmare. Yeah, it's probably not easy and it sounds like she might be a single mother It's right make it so much even harder. You have one person dealing dealing with that it's stressful. That's not easy Nightmare your little nightmare. That's God damn it. I wish I had my fucking uterus yanked out when I was 17 you destroyed me Okay, Thomas one star He starts off zero stars exclamation point. Oh, he didn't even say if he could he is giving it He's gonna do it himself He made that option for himself went to Santa's Village on August 16th with my granddaughter and daughter

Well that seems a little Wow my granddaughter and daughter. Well that seems strange. In the middle of the year? Wow, the hottest time of the year. It's humid grandpa, I don't want to see Santa right now. Imagine poor Santa. With the beard on and shit. Oh god. Drove an hour and a half to get there with traffic and great anticipation to experience the water park our friend had just visited the week before with rave reviews and pics. They've got a water park?

At Santa's Village? That's weird. Awesome. My 6 year old granddaughter was filled with anticipation to go down the water slides we saw pics of online. When we got there there was no warning. We saw a shocking sign saying water park closed. We were blind.

They got vacationed here is what happened. All the way the fuck out there. They went all the way to Wally world for Nothing, oh God Moose should have told you parts closed the reindeer should have told you we're gonna have some goddamn fun Somebody saying this that's what this guy's Thomas said we're gonna have some goddamn fun We're gonna be whistling tixie out of our assholes Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, whatever the fuck you said Okay, we were blindsided!

To make a long story short, I doubt you will, you've already made it longer than it needed to be, we paid over $95 online and we were stuck enduring an upsetting day that consisted of limited rides and long lines due to labor shortages and seeing the empty water park beckoning to a sad six-year-old child for several hours just staring at closed water lights. Jesus. Oh, that's kind of funny. I don't know why.

I don't know why the fact a six-year-old child just staring at a closed water park, sadly, is very funny to me and I don't know why. There's a sixth sense of humor, I guess. With the theme park, you want it to last the test of time, too, and stay open like Six Flags has done for 50 years or whatever. But I think it's really... I don't think it would stay open very long, just because the novelty of Santa Claus in a fucking Speedo goes away quick. You know what I mean?

I would say so. But it would be pretty fucking badass to be going down like candy cane slides water slides with like fucking you know I mean, yeah, Santa's shooting water and shit at you. I think that's cool I mean, I guess probably in South Florida they do that and shit I would imagine probably do you know Santa comes in and his fucking sandals in the yeah Well, we got a cold climate in the summer time like Chicago. Yeah, you know the suburbs There's almost fucking Rockford. I just don't know what cool I don't know what interest Santa has in August. You know what I mean?

That's the problem. It is funny that we're swimming with this fuck. That's it. That's the only thing that I don't get that's weird so no one on The phone offered a discount or the full price we paid for half the experience advertised online. A person we called to complain said they sent us an email about the water park closure, which we never received. We feel this was very uncaring of children anticipating a water park and full rides open. The worst part was being thrown out of the park at 3 saying they were closing early due to a labor shortage.

They're only 16. They can only work 6 hours today. Well, it's actually even different than that. It's the fact that they're only 16 and this is the late August and they need to go back to school because the owner responds here. The park was still crowded and no one knew the this early closure time was a nightmare My granddaughter cried upon leaving the park saying loudly quote. It was the worst day ever You got to go to a fucking water park. You spoiled little brat. What are you talking about? Worst day worst day ever. I didn't get to ride all the rides. Oh Jesus Christ greedy dishonest company all caps double exclamation point. Yeah, stay away. They don't care about children only money

Yeah response from Jason the owner Thomas. I'm sorry. We didn't meet your expectations We experienced labor shortages on August 15th to 19th due to kids returning to school There you go. That's the college kids working there and shit. We posted the changes of the operating schedule on our website, social media, and signage at the park and sent out several emails. Additionally, we offered all guests visiting those days free unlimited fountain drinks. Oh well that solves everything.

Thank God, yeah. No, I know. Listen, Dar, no, no No I know, listen Dar, no no I know sweetie, I know you want to ride all the rides, I get it, I get it, but here, here is a barks root beer. Does this make it better? Drink as much of this Pepsi as you want and piss in the pool until it closes. You can do it, well I'm sorry, you can't piss in the pool because it's closed, but still, unlimited fountain drinks, well that solves all the problems then.

Sit by the fountain and open your throat. That's wild. Shannon once star, good for the toddler age, ride and pool wise, but what they charge for food is crazy. A Dole Whip was over $7 for a kid size portion, less expensive at Disney World for double the size yeah oh those pineapples pineapple yeah with the creamy shit those are good yeah we went to Prancer's pizza that's a Christmas themed got it we ordered three slices people that ordered behind

us were getting their whole pizzas first while some pizzas were still sitting under a heat lamp the entire time there after at least 20 minutes our number was called and they only gave us two slices not three. We would have just preferred a refund minus the food most things were okay but you probably get more for your money at Six Flags. I would hope so. It's a giant corporate entity. I would hope you get more for your money at a place like that. Giant place.

Yeah, I would assume they have more rides. I'm actually surprised. Oh yeah, that. The food's probably cheaper here, but otherwise. Yeah, food and merch, you're getting fucking slammed. I would assume the entrance price, you're probably getting more for your money at a bigger place. Yeah.

Jason responds, of course. Sure. Hi Shannon, thanks for your feedback. We feel our food is competitively priced compared to other amusement parks and we do pride ourselves in providing good service Wow, that's that's all it is. We feel we're competitive. We think we're doing it We think you're wrong and then I found another one that I just hilarious from a another Christmas Experience this one's in Jonesboro, Arkansas. Oh Yeah, yeah Jonesboro, which is outside of West Memphis area

over there, so Eastern Arkansas. No, that's where they, part of where they railroaded the West Memphis Three was there, that's where Damien lived for a while. Is that not the town that the kid hid on that fuckin' hill and picked off kids coming out of the fucking school? I believe it is. I believe it is.

It might be. I think it's also where that terrible fucking disgusting quote unquote church is also based. Westboro. Westboro. There you go. That's Kansas. That's just different. Okay.

Now, this person says it's a Google user. No name here. Uh-huh. Two stars, okay. Very neat walkthrough display of Santa's workshop. Kids enjoy it. Admission price plus an unadvertised fee for a poor quality picture with Santa and Ms. Claus.

Not Mrs, she's Ms. Claus. She divorced this bitch. I don't think that Mrs. Claus cares. I think she's fine being Mrs. Claus probably. I don't think, yeah. It's been centuries, I think that mrs. Claus cares. I think she's fine being mrs. Claus probably It's been centuries. I think she's good Then they say in all caps do not get photos with Santa oh no why not he's got a boner I think or something that's the only this the only thing that would warrant all caps in an exclamation point would be he fingers your Kid or something weird like that.

So very poor photography, lighting quality and image quality. Oh, so they got a bad camera. Got a bad camera. First generation camera phones take better pictures. Okay. Well, yeah, first generation is 2003 probably. Yeah. Oh, those.

Yeah. You are not permitted to take personal photos of children with Santa unless you buy a package Other vendors take multiple pictures and you get to choose the best photo here They only take one photo you get what you get oh Okay, the customer in front of me had to pay full price for a photo of her grandchildren with Santa only one of which made it inside the cropping a grandchildren with Santa, only one of which made it inside the cropping. A picture of their grandchild, apparently. She paid, despite kindly noting her disappointment.

They told her sorry, but offered no accommodation. Couldn't just retake it? What are you doing? They didn't squeeze in. I don't know what to tell you. Wow. There are so many free events with Santa Claus throughout the month of December in Jonesboro, Arkansas.

Don't bother with this one. I couldn't imagine paying for a picture that didn't even have my kids in it. And then it says, yeah, that would be pretty wild. Just get a picture of Santa with the shoulders of all your kids. Just looking off camera to the kids like trying to coax them back to his lap and shit. Come here. And then under that it says theme days. A few people dress up in basic Halloween quality

costumes and stand in the back room. You can visit and take photos with them, but there's nothing else to do. There's nothing else that they do to contribute to the theme. So Santa's North Pole responded. Oh boy, here we go. Sorry for your disappointment, we don't claim to be Disney World. Listen, listen lady, you want quality pictures, this ain't the fucking spot, alright? You want good costumes, good pictures, not here.

Disneyland, their cast of characters aren't even allowed to say I don't know. We mandate they say. We say just, you don't know nothing. Never tell them anything. Where's the bathroom? I don't know. I don't know. That's what you say. Beats the shit out of me, I don't know nothing ever tell them anything. Where's the bathroom? I don't know That's what you say beats the shit out of me. I don't know treat them like a gas station without a public one. That's it Holy shit, you could go there and pay thousands and maybe be satisfied

We don't claim to be a professional photography studio Yeah We don't claim to be a professional photography studio. Our pictures are very good quality and well worth $10. Some people think everything should be quote free. We have a lot of overhead and spend thousands to provide the community a nice Christmas experience with their family. If you are not happy, that's fine, then don't come. But it's unfair for you to dog our business like you have.

Yeah, don't dog us. You could spend thousands and maybe be satisfied. You'll see a mouse in a hat. We don't give a fuck. Fuck you. How's that? The spirit of Christmas here is fuck you. Drive down to fucking Orlando.

Stay the hell out of Arkansas. Santa's Village. Go fuck yourself. That's the... Or Santa's Village go fuck yourself Or Santa's North Pole or whatever the fuck it is all right so one another Christmas thing We have here a couple of right little Christmas things we have the worst Christmas movie that's ever been made What is that we're gonna do reviews of it? It's it's a new movie, and I have seen it fucking twice Why'd you see it twice because we? Because we did a special holiday PSA, hate this movie, me and Sarah, and it was, and it's, the show's great, but the movie is a fucking horrible hot frosty.

What is that? You've never seen, okay, when this came out. It's new? Oh, it's brand new, yeah. It's Netflix original. Oh. One of those rom-coms on Netflix. Why'd they do that?

That are terrible, like on purpose kind of who's fraud is it is it the fucking? Okay, I'll explain the premise here. All right Here's what they do they show in the beginning They show this hat floating through the air and it lands on the ground and a truck runs over it and they're like This is a different kind of frosty tale Okay, because in frosty the snowman yeah, it's put the hat on frosty and he becomes alive So there's this lonely lands and it gets run over by a truck because it's not a hat Cause in Frosty the snowman, the kids put the hat on Frosty and he becomes alive. So there's this lonely...

This one lands and it gets run over by a truck? Because it's not a hat, it's not... This is new Frosty, bitch! Fuck this hat! What do you think? This is old Frosty with his frozen little dick? Fuck no! This is new Frosty with his big, warm, foot long, honkin' veiny fuckin' hog.

That's what he's got. Different. Jesus. So so hot frosty basically, there's this lonely sad woman who for summary her husband died of cancer and Jesus and she it's Lacey Shabair is the one from like mean girls and shit back in the day I didn't know the fuck she was either but Sarah was like, yeah, she's in Mean Girls. I was like, I'm a guy I didn't see that so oh is she the the

Not white one? She's white. She's very white. She's in a fucking Netflix rom-com. It does She the dumb one I'll bet she's the don't know no she's not I don't know what she is I don't know dark hair and not Lindsay Lohan. That's what I know so Yeah, anyway, she is very sad and her house is falling apart like falling apart She lives in a crack house because she's so sad like her heat doesn't work. She's a mess, right? Because she cries, you know, she cries all the time. They live in like Christmas Town USA, you know And they're and they're cries. So there's no heat crying a lot. Well, you know keeps you warm when you cry Yeah, so there's a snowman building contest all through December

so, you know, everybody's got their snowman's built in the center of town. And some lady from the thrift store gave her a scarf and was like, you should take this scarf. I met my husband wearing this scarf. Maybe it'll bring you good luck. She said, okay. Stop crying, bitch.

She wears it out, so cheer up, bitch, as we say on Smell It's Out Murder. So she heads outside and she looks at the snowmen and there's they're fucking snowmen three balls and a hat you know what I mean sticks for arms all right and then one of the snowmen is a is picture a stone sculpture of a jacked guy with abs except made of snow oh yeah but I mean told and she's like well look at you you don't have a hat or a scarf or anything so she puts her scarf on him

Okay, I'm gonna cover you up. She walks away. He springs to life after that now. He's alive He's the new frost he's nude He's fucking yeah in town square and an old lady sees him and chases after him That's the other thing every woman in town, and they're all most of the women that go after him, they're all like in their sixties. They are fucking, they chase him. They try to rape him. They Pfeffy Lapew him. Dude, there's this old fucking lady at one point who's like, why don't you come to my

house and help me with this thing? And he's like, let me put a shirt on. And she goes, Oh no, like don't put your shirt. And then they cut to her house and there's five old ladies drinking and staring at him, putting up a light fixture. It's fucking gross. Anyway, this movie sucks. It's really bad, of course.

And at the end he becomes a real boy, obviously. Oh, and he lives. Oh yeah, he almost dies. Craig Robinson plays the cop. So he plays the cop and the cop is looking for him the whole time because he streaked and he broke a window and stole some overalls even though he fixed the window and gave the people back.

Whatever. Anyway, Hot Frosty, 2024, an hour 32 minutes, 3.7 stars on IMDB. So they don't like it. 75% on Rotten Tomatoes 75% it's not bad. It's objectively a terrible movie. It's not even they're not even trying It's like Sharknado so to say it's good is ridiculous. It's So let's give it that cuz they're goofing on it No, they like it because they're like I really enjoy people like shit now They've been fed shit and spoon-fed shit, so they don't even care anymore. They're just like I like it

They put it on my TV and I watched it. That's they're fucking stupid. So Cameron five stars. I really enjoyed this magical Christmas love story you fucking idiot It's full of comedy and romance and in my opinion. That's the perfect blend When he comes alive, it's like you realize even fantasy can become reality and I believe it's explaining how even some things in life that are unexplainable can be real. Can be real. That's the other thing at the end when they're all discussing it as a town, you know, the whole town meets at the diner, obviously, and they're all discussing it. And they're like, how could this be real? How could he really be a snowman that came to life? And then somebody just goes, it's Christmas. Christmas miracle.

And they all go, yeah, okay. And then they all believe it. Fucking guys got a point. It's Christmas. Like dipshit, it's Christmas. These things happen. Okay. The movie has the perfect meld of everything, but what I specifically don't like is how

Dustin Milligan is stupid one minute when it comes to human traditions and understanding what Lacey Chabert meant and the next he's comprehending everything when it comes to certain things. Yes, he is conveniently stupid. Although I do not like that they both played their parts wonderfully and it still came out a beautiful romantic movie. I do recommend this movie to those who enjoy comedies and romance unified into one magnificent film Okay, you just called hot frosty. Yeah a magnificent magnificent film How'd you feel about Encino man? What are your top five favorite films? Well?

Godfather Hot frosty clearly. That belongs up there, I'm pretty sure. Things of that nature. Perhaps Biodome. That's what we're doing, yes. Any of the Pauly Shore canon really. Son-in-law being at the top of it obviously.

Jury duty probably down at the bottom. In the army now? Oh, that's fucking terrible in the army now, okay Silva sylvia, sorry five stars just finished finished watching it and I caught myself smiling throughout because this is exactly what I needed A light-hearted Christmas movie not too heavy on the sadness I'm watching this tonight. It's you'll be gonna hate watch it with my daughter. Oh do it, do it, it's wild. It's wild. Like I said, we did a PSA Hate This Movie on it so it's just an hour and a half of

us ripping this fucking movie apart. There's so much to pick on in this movie. We're gonna wrap gifts and watch this bullshit tonight. I can't wait. Lacey is awesome and the cast around her is perfect. Steen Sealing Craig Robinson and Joe Lattruglio are a perfect comedy duo. That's Craig Robinson and his little deputy guy. Who's Latru-Leo? You'll notice- yeah, you'd notice him. He's in like sketch comedy shit. You'd notice him if you saw him.

Yeah, he was in- he's in one of those sketch comedy shows and I can't remember which one of them. Tis the season to be light and enjoy the little things. This movie falls into these categories easily. Let's believe in magic again So it was perfectly acceptable to not need slash To not need a grand slash scientific explanation as to how the snowman is coming to life No, see the problem is those are movies for children Right not adults when you grow up Yes, the magical thing that's a it's Christmas for that's for children. You're supposed to create that for children. I'd be a child thing is

Take the responsibility and make the magic for the gas for the kids. Yeah, holy shit Happily recommend viewing it for something that will make you smile Okay, and then I'm one more five-star and then we'll get to the bad ones here. Five star RJ. I'm going to ask you a question in a minute though. Please, go ahead. What's the, okay, so what it was, I, I was, we were out of town and they took, my family took me to Gallup, New Mexico.

That is a, it's a hot frosty of a town. It's a piece of shit. And uh. It's a hot frosty of a town. It's a piece of shit. And it's a liquid diarrhea town. We went there just like on a whim to visit family for Christmas and my mom unpreparedly we stayed through Christmas and we weren't going to. So there were no stockings for us. And my uncle who was a Vietnam vet and a fucking this guy was a terror. Are you describing Christmas vacations plot?

Did he buy your family a couple of bags of old Roy? What happened? You just absolutely described showing up with cousin Eddie in the fucking thing. He found socks, James. He found his old socks and wrote our names on them and then went over to the Walmart or whatever and stuffed him with like little kids toys And and then the next morning we woke up. I mean I was a young kid. I was four or five years old Yeah, I was blown away that Santa found the fucking Yes, that's yes. That's what you do. It's not for your uncle. Yeah, what they do to you

Did you ever get anything like that any magic cuz that was no that was a moment that I literally I literally believed in Santa I just I was maybe four. I just remember getting Nintendo and having it be the Most wonderful thing in my life. I Was like this is just the greatest thing ever. Oh, I was like this motherfucker is on it, dude He's on it. He got those those elves in ship shape and they built Yoshi He didn't get he didn't get the Mario slash duck hunt so okay. We're gonna have a disagreement about that, but we didn't get Mario It's okay. It's not bad all right RJ five stars It's so preposterous a snowman comes to life in a small town and charms a widow

It's a hallmark movie mixed with a Netflix comedy, and it works all town and charms a widow. It's a Hallmark movie mixed with a Netflix comedy and it works. It does not work. It's awkward at first. The fake snow and low budget decorations. The snow is terrible. Looks like they're straight out of a can. It doesn't even or like they chopped up fucking Styrofoam and just sprayed it everywhere. That's what it looks like. The weirdly handsome leading man. Where do they leading man? Where do they find these guys? Let Lacey Shabair do more rom-coms Like there's a fucking bill in Congress that she can't is she is she's a walk does she blackball? She is fucking allowed to do as many as she wants by the way. She's terrible. She is fucking she's a terrible actress She's awful in this movie. That's her yeah, that's yeah. She's awful. She's a white girl. Huh all right very

She's a natural the writer slash director do a good job of making rules for a snowman coming to life in a hallmark movie Actually believable and fun in past hallmark movies some of the ways they might have explained this would be eye rolling Lee bad But 99% of the world building here is like, yeah, okay, that works. How the fuck does yeah, okay, that? You put a fucking scarf on a snowman and then he came to life and learns how to fix your roof and you're like, yeah, okay, that works. I see that because that's what happened in the movie. And the comedy of Craig Robinson and his partner as the hapless town cops is such a seamless

addition to the relentlessly cheesy cheery hallmark formula. The tone is perfect. The movie never gives up the earnest message of joy and Christmas for comedy. In other words, there's no jokes. It rather would give you Christmas cheese. And the problem with having a woman like Lacey Shebert play a bunch of rom-com stuff is that she's fucking 42. Nobody wants to watch an old sad Lonely chick nobody wants by the way. She's younger than both of us

So yes, right when we're saying an old sad that we don't mean no nobody nobody will go on fucking 48 and they get mad At us still say that's what messages will get listen. We're both older than this Everybody wants young people and yes now especially in romance, But this type of shit is made for 40 year old women Yeah, there's nobody else watch every one of these reviews. I'll look at your goddamn driver's license You were born between fucking 75 and 90 I guarantee you nobody later. Nobody earlier. I'll bet you this this show though Parlay's into a bunch of fucking hallmark shit from now on I mean probably they do this Bullshit all the time stuff the true meaning of Christmas and comedy what a way to kick off the season good job Everyone involved and shout out to Dustin Milligan who was innocence anchors the whole show. He's the snowman

He's just a guy with abs. He's Sarah found him completely unattractive and was like why is this hot frosty? He's terrible. He's a weird looking guy. Okay, Jenny two stars. Watch this with my niece, daughter and mother-in-law. Oh my. We were all old enough at the double, we were all old enough that the double entendres, many, many double entendres made this extremely awkward.

There really isn't that many by the way. It's just horny women. It's not double entendres They're staring at his dick. That's just a single entendre just staring and that's actually his role in Schitt's Creek was to be the hot fucking Veterinarian who accidentally showed his junk on camera. That's a I don't I don't think he's got a whole lot of everything else going on showed his junk on camera. That's a weird, wild... I don't think he's got a whole lot of everything else going on.

The plot is like a wholesome episode of Bluey someone stuck a bunch of dirty jokes into. The cops are hilarious and make the movie, but not going to lie, in the bail seed we were on the cop side. And when Cathy and the whole town leave Jack's corpse in the snow, Mercy, LOL, that's the funniest thing. They take him into jail. Craig Robinson takes him into snow, mercy, LOL. That's the funniest thing. They take him into jail. Craig Robinson takes him into jail, finally arrests him, and it's Christmas Eve, so he's like, he ain't gonna get out until the 26th.

So they all pass a hat around to like bail him out. So then the whole town convinces the sheriff that he's really a snowman who came to life, and he can't be left in jail because he'll die. He'll melt in there. They won. So they pick him up and drag him outside and they go, he's dripping all over the place like he's bleeding.

And they lay him in the snow and they all look at him and they check him out and they go, he's dead. And then the whole town just turns around and starts to walk away. They're gonna leave a corpse in the snow. Naked? No, he's not naked. He's got clothes on after the first scene.

They're just gonna leave a corpse of a man in the snow on Main Street next to the sidewalk. To maybe melt or decay. Even the cop, whose job it would be to take care of him, he just turns his back like, well, that's that then. There it is. And the next thing you know, he's alive. Okay. All right.

Hot Frosty was very close to being Sharknado levels of hilarious. Nope. It's like the supporting cast were acting in a different movie somehow. Support seemed to get to the comedy side and the main actors were the serious romance maybe. That's pretty much how they did it. I left confused. I laughed out loud. I was embarrassed at the jokes.

I appreciated Jack's physique. I was terrified at the implications of lusting after a baby man whose peers are middle schoolers because he hangs out with children Because he's a fucking weirdo. I recognized and almost appreciated Flipping the porn film born yesterday trope and I was traumatized for Kathy whose husband had died and All she's hearing from Jack is how he might be a puddle tomorrow who's husband had died and all she's hearing from Jack is how he might be a puddle tomorrow. It's just so much. I think you should watch this just so you can talk about it with your friends and please call my therapist because she will need context for our next session.

Okay, Ash one star. This movie was just so bad. I don't even know where to start. The love interest acts like a child and clearly has the brain capacity of one, yet everyone is just drooling over him. Awesome. He's a complete moron. Yeah, he's a total idiot. His relationship with Lacey's character felt friendly at the least and maternal at the most. Very creepy to watch them try to force a romantic relationship, and I do mean force as the two had negative chemistry. Yeah, they do not. She has no chemistry with anybody. She is like the least sexual being

that's ever walked the face of the earth, this lazy she-bear. She just stands there like a fucking robot the whole time. It's weird. She's treating it like it's really her, a married woman. Yeah, well, no, she looks, she just seems like she doesn't wanna have sex with anybody ever.

Wow. That's the vibe I get from the character, not the actress obviously. So they go from not seeing each other romantically to, at all, to both of them all of a sudden being in love with each other. That's not even to mention the bad acting and the plot holes. They couldn't even decide on what Jack does and doesn't know. That was a big problem for us too. And what time period is it even set in?

It seems to be set in 2024 and 2004 at the same time. That's true. Like nobody has phones. They're just like, and everyone has like 60s vehicles and like she drives like a 77 Toyota Corolla. I'm not even kidding. Why? With like Kragers on it though, for some reason.

Really? Yes, and like all the old ladies have like, you know, 62 Ford Fair Lanes and shit like everyone in town. Yeah, they bought 62 and have kept it up and running the whole time. Snowy as fuck, everything else. The sheriff's car is like an 81 Blazer, like a K5 Blazer. It's fucking weird, man.

Don't waste your time on this. I can't believe I pay money to a Netflix subscription for this. For this. Anthony, one star. I love Lacey. He should just say I have a penis. This is ridiculous. Yeah. I'm not gonna watch this. One star. I love Lacey but this is by far her worst movie. She is my favorite holiday girl. Watched all the Vale movies and all her hallmark Christmas movies. This movie was so corny. She always has the handsome co-stars but this guy was about a 5.

Really disappointed. Is that right? Yes. Anthony is rating this man. Very nice. A 5? A 5. Joe Bertina.

That's a name. One star. The movie was pretty basic. The fact that he was a snowman just made it freaky in a gross way I Said at the time when they're like about to kiss them like if he puts his dick in her it's gonna melt off Or it's gonna give her frostbite in there one of the two Something's gonna win yeah like a like a fucking like a flagpole like a fucking like a flagpole. Also hot take, the sheriff wasn't the bad guy.

If someone is streaking, they should be arrested, even if it's Christmas. True. Yeah, this guy's running through town with his dick out and everyone's like, come on, who cares? Like, what are we talking about? Let him be, he's got great abs. Wow, he obviously wouldn't have concluded

the streaker was actually a snowman come to life. Also- He doesn't know any better. Yeah, also hot frosty was very horse-ish My house he looks like a horse is what you say my household agreed that he is not in fact hot I like I felt like the writers were gaslighting us the whole time into thinking he was that's what Sarah was saying too when We did the thing she's like the episode she was like Tell us if you think he's hot because I don't think so The one thing I did like was how Doug Doug Judy and Charles were there The actors from popular sitcoms were all in this film really had it going really had going for it

The fake snow was also super bad Yes, Oliver one star is this what Netflix thinks about women? Ah! Lustful whores. You fucking, well, worse. You fucking- Lustful slutty whores. Almost like you molesting whores.

Rapist whores. Yeah, that's better. Here. They made Jack Frost a handicap man without any of the intellect who's also melting. Netflix thinks women want sweet dumb hot men that don't have the ability to take care of themselves. There are trees that, but if you think about it, this is the ultimate woman fantasy. A man is made of snow so you can literally mold him exactly how you want him.

Exactly. And if you make him fall in love with you, you fix him. You fix him. Exactly exactly you doesn't melt anymore And I he's a blank slate and you teach him how to be a nice person and what like it's the exact with You teach him to be the nice person that you desire. Yes, and he does it There are trees that exist whose sole purpose has been to provide oxygen to the people responsible making this movie. Those people should find and apologize to those trees. I wish you could give a movie zero stars.

One star from Helen. Not so hot frosty. I love Lacey so I watch all her Christmas movies but this is dreadful and all my girlfriends have said the same thing He's not hot. It sounds like she got this role because of Hallmark movies. Yeah. Yeah, no cuz that's what it is It's a Christmas. She does. Yeah, that's what Lindsay Lohan does too. Now. That's her career now She does those she's hugely popular in those now She's making a fortune goes to the the gym, sure. Hot? Not at all. Can't invest if the lead man is lame.

It's the face. He has a goofy face. Yeah, he's got a really goofy face. Well, obviously, yeah, he's ripped otherwise. I mean, he's all jacked up. Fiona, one star. Foul. There's no other words to describe this movie. I'm not sure how I made it through. I think I walked out of the room at least three times because it was just so heinous. Whoever's saying this is any form of good is spitting the most devious lies of their life. Why is every single character in this insanely freaky? Are they fiending over Jack who is quite literally autistic and has the mental age of a five-year-old? I'm not even saying that in a mean way. He just genuinely is. It's true. Then you have old ladies practically

screaming to get down and dirty with him. The plot in general was just disturbing and falling apart throughout the whole movie. I felt more joy watching it ends with us than I did in a single second watching this movie. Please never let the creator of this walk in of this walk in the light of day again, Jesus The light of day at night Fuck voodoo one star It's in the dark do your dirt and dark homie under the cover of night fuck that The first problem for me was the snowman knowing some things that not knowing what a remote is Secondly, he buys a damn glass with my money. I would boil him

He replaces the window on Amazon on her computer and it goes to her credit card So and she's like that's okay. I'd boil him He bought a giant like pane of like commercial glass which probably probably eight thousand dollars Dollars meanwhile, she doesn't have heat in her house and her fucking whole house is fucked up her loop roof is leaking She's got a broken step It's fine excuse Excuse me letting a random guy with me that was just naked stole shit and thinks he's a snowman

Girl you let a crackhead in For real you let it in naked homeless man who doesn't appear to know where or who he is Why does he have to speak like a child? I honestly wanted it to be a Cinderella type thing and turn back to a snowman at the end Turns human and gets a Hawaiian vacay. Let me go cuz that's the thing at the end They're going to Hawaii because now we can now we can do that Yeah, ghostface one-star bro who. Yeah. Ghostface, one star. Bro, who the fuck made a movie about a woman falling in love with snow?

We're really running out of ideas. Like literally, who sat down and made a movie about a snowman making out with a woman and it's like, yeah, that's a great idea. Oh my god. Okay. And then finally, Carl, one star. Was this movie an analogy for child grooming? I've really taken it to the extreme.

Like actually so grossed out by their whole dynamic. The infantilization of Jack's character while also objectifying slash sexualizing him. Like do we think we're subverting stereotypes by putting the male gaze on men? That's exactly what they were doing. Like toxic grooming behaviors exist regardless of gender hard. Ick not cute literally a love letter to grooming Jesus all right, and we have this is kind of funny just because the pictures funny here We're gonna do a dog costume for Christmas because we did one for Halloween This is the Frisco front-walking reindeer dog and cat these are great. Look at it. Look how funny it is. Look at

that motherfucker. He's a lad. Fucking hooves are so funny. We'll get one of these for Oscar once in a while. Put it on him for the three seconds. He allows it. Fucking hilarious. It's worth like 12 bucks just to laugh at him. So yeah, this is that's what this is. It's 1599 right now. Wow. They only have medium in stock so I don't know what your dog's gonna do. 4.2 stars on here so not too bad. It says you can join, your pet can join Santa's VIP team with this front-walking reindeer costume. Okay. Be the lead. Here we go. Five Stars by Melissa. Too cute.

This is absolutely adorable. Fit a 20 pound mini schnauzer perfectly. Can't wait for the Christmas photos. Can't wait. Can't wait. You'll embarrass that poor fucker and you're going to put it on your fridge. That's right. Five Stars.

Pretty cute. It was really easy to get on my dog, to get on my dog and the sizing guide was accurate getting the antlers to stay up as a challenge I Believe that they want to fall back probably from how their package But I was still able to snap some cute pics and then there's a good actually is pretty cute. That's not bad That's pretty goddamn cute. That's adorable. Okay, then we go one star Cheap and cheesy now is the title here. That's the idea. It's not forever It's not it's not supposed to be in our money So this and money away and it's piss money away and you take a picture of it

Yeah, bought this for my pug to wear on a Christmas parade Luckily, it was canceled due to rain because this outfit was pathetic Cute concept, but the antlers won't stay up One star by Jeannie. I'm so disappointed the head of the suit is cute But the body's a complete letdown the body is way too short on the back and is flimsy Haven't you seen Scrooge fucking staple it who cares yeah, they exactly they don't care Three stars the outfit is cute, but both my cat and dog won't keep it on. They have worn outfits before, but I think the hat is too heavy. Probably.

Probably. And then two stars. Too floppy. The arms don't quite stand out and the antlers lay flat, so it really takes away even being able to tell it's a reindeer. Rest of it is quality. It looks like it's running real fast. That's it, yeah. And then finally, we'll do do a very quick because there's only a couple and it's just Mainly just a just to know this item exists the personal item of the season everybody. Oh, yeah It's a Christmas dildo. Is it a candy cane? There it is. It is a candy cane look at that. Yes, Wissman. That is not bad I mean that was big as fuck though What else would a Christmas dildo be a Santa's head a fucking elf a full elf body and an antler?

The whole antler the whole with shit coming off of it Yeah, so this is a Christmas crystal dildo candy cane pleasure wand penis class dildo Anal blood plug G or P spot toy stimulation adult sex toy Sex Toy Unisex Anal Butt Plug for Pleasure. That's the title on Amazon. All right. $16.88. There is a 6.69 inch and a 7.87 inch that you can get. That extra inch will cost you literally double.

They said, here we go, there are two sizes for you. Crystal glass dildos are safe, I would fucking hope so. They fucking better be, don't let it break. Jesus Christ, now clean and, new clean and convenient, but also can be used heated or frozen. Frozen, solid. We think highly of every customer's privacy, full confidential shipping to protect your privacy.

Okay, here we go, let's start here. There's only a few, like I said, there's two to protect your privacy. Okay, here we go. Let's start here. There's only a few, like I said, there's two, I got two. Four stars, great. Great, this is from Australia. Good product, not too heavy and looks good. Looks easy to use and can be used on your own or with a partner.

A dildo. It's a fucking dildo. Do you got hands? You can do it. You can do it. Someone else got hands? They can do it. They can do it.

Anybody can fuck you or you can fuck yourself. Tell you what, go fuck yourselves. There you go. Two stars, strictly seasonal novelty toy, limited usage. Seller seems quite confused about whether this is made of glass or silicone. Not a great start. It is a seasonal novelty item which will not be entertaining for long, unfortunately. Well, you know that.

Don't buy it then. A toy that will not likely be used again. Not recommended except maybe for those who enjoy Christmas themed toys and have disposable income. Christmas told us weren't fun and fucking Memorial Day. They're not as fun on Easter. I don't like them as much. So judging by what they're telling you, we're going to double down on that. Go fuck yourselves everybody for Christmas. Enjoy. Hope you enjoy and have a happy holiday. Listen to our other two shows.

Keep coming back and hanging out with us and like we said, go fuck yourselves. There it is. Goodbye. Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.