Your Stupid Opinions - Lube That Stings, British Tacos, Expensive Manicures, Leathery Buffet

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

This week, we find out how a product that's meant to be very slippery, can not be so slippery. How British people are enjoying a seemingly filthy Taco Bell. A place where getting your nails done can cost about a car payment. A "family restaurant" that may serve leather meatloaf, and is VERY strict with their kid's menu & more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. What do British tacos, angry manicures, and something that's supposed to be slippery have in common? Find out right now on Your Stupid Opinions. Hello, everybody. Hey, there. Hey! Welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Oh, we are excited. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us today on another edition of Hearing People's Complaints about sometimes legitimate, sometimes not.

You know, a Grand Canyon, the Grand, not a Grand, the Grand Canyon being called Mid. Sometimes it's just hard to please people. You know what I mean? We'll put it that way. So this week, nothing but the same. And here it comes. Quickly, though, you definitely want to check out the, we've got Facebook page, Instagram page, and Twitter and all that. It's all there.

Get on there. Follow us and keep going. We make other stuff. And if you like what we do here, definitely check out our other two podcasts, Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder, which are pretty self-explanatory in the names. Let's get right to this here. All right. With a product that should be a no-brainer yeah this is one where you go well how does it not work it's a uh it's a lola l-o-l-a is the brand

water-based personal lubricant oh so it's yeah you're looking like oh so it's it's you know lube yeah it's a it's a ky thing it's a yes i don't know it's a you know, lube. Yeah. It's a KY thing. Knock off? I don't know. It's a different brand. It says personal lubricant, and it says on the box here, pH balance to support vaginal health. That's good. Oh, okay.

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. It says hypoallergenic and long-lasting glide. These are the features. Oh, long-lasting, too. Long-lasting glide, which is nice. That's what they want. This product. long lasting long lasting glide which is nice that's what they want this product obviously i don't have a vagina but you'd think that like too long lasting would be like a nightmare wouldn't it

i i mean it would yeah you just get real slippery all the time is that what you want maybe you want that i'm not sure and we're never gonna know that's the thing we'll find us on social media and let us know if you'd like it to be slippery down there all the time. Does it need to always be? Does the walls need to? I don't know. I don't know. This is available at Walmart here.

This is a Walmart.com or these reviews and everything. And there is it is Lola Personal Lubricant Water-Based Lube for Sexual Wellness. That is the official title that they sell it under. 1.7 fluid ounces. About $10 costs okay now user it's not yeah that's pretty seems cheap it's 1.7 ounces isn't that much but i don't know how much you're using depends on how dry you are i guess you know i don't know if that's a statement on uh on how how uh excited i make women or how small i am but i've never used it ever one or the other or a combination of the two probably I hope. This product has 3.9 stars out of 695 reviews.

Wow. A lot of reviews. It's being used a lot. Let's get right into it. Let's see what Amber has to say. Five stars from Amber. Soft and smooth like better than silk in all caps. Oh, like better than silk.

Better than silk. Because who wants, I mean, that's obviously the alternative stuff. Silk in your vagina. That's better. Use those silk condoms. Those are known for really helping. People often compare them to velvet, but I've never heard silk. Silk.

That's smooth like silk. You'd hear that before. Like someone says about a mousse. You know what I mean? Like a chocolate mousse. This particular lubricant is completely different from my normal brand. I have totally fallen in love. Oh.

This is, I mean, this is as beaming a review as you could get. Totally different. Yeah. It's silky smooth, not sticky. I would hope it wouldn't be sticky. It's a lubricant. And a little goes a long way. Well, there you go.

That's 1.7 ounces. A couple drops. Might last a while. I couldn't be more impressed. These are all with either single or double exclamation points, by the way, every sentence. She's really getting after it. She's jacked. I am in all over this product.

I am in all over this product, exclamation point. It's the weirdest sentence we've ever gotten. I think it's in all over you. I am in all over this product. I am in all over this product, exclamation point. It's the weirdest sentence we've ever gotten. I think it's in all over you. I am in all over it. It's all in me and all over me. I totally exceeded my expectations and well now permanently a spot in my home slash bedroom. Again, every single sentence in this entire paragraph is either single or double exclamation point periods don't exist in this person's world can the work like i don't know could the partner

matter in that i think i mean yeah i think it all matters i think it's all i think it's one big stew really i mean yeah i'm just saying like what if this is the first time she's ever used it what if she uses it with somebody that ain't so good, and then she's going to hate this lube? It's still going to be slick, though. Silky smooth. It's true. I don't know. I am very privileged to be able to have the opportunity to try this product.

What does that mean? Opportunity. Like they gave it to her. You bought it. I don't think she fucks much. No. Maybe that's what she means. I've already recommended it to several friends and family with enthusiasm.

Hey, Grandma, I have a lube for you. Let me tell you something, Aunt Kathy. This lube that I have, I'm telling you, better than silk. Better than silk. If I could do an exclamation point in speech, I would, but I can't. You say Mom's a bit dry, huh, dad? Hey, ma, how you feeling down there? You dried up or what?

Have you heard of Lola? You flowing? I got it. Hey, try this out. He tosses it to her like a, she tosses it over. Hello, L.A., Lola. Try that out with enthusiasm. Oh, my God, it's the best.

Imagine this woman just coming at you about lube. Huh? Okay. All right, calm down. Chill out. Hey, relax about the l God. It's the best. Imagine this woman just coming at you about lube. Huh? Okay. All right. Calm down. Chill out. Hey, relax about the lube. It's a little weird.

Aunt Amber, knock it off. Yeah. Amber. Jesus. Seriously, I've already received feedback. These people are like, I use the lube you told me about. Oh, my God. Amazing.

What a frank family. They'll speak about anything. They will use anything their family recommends fucking right now open and honest family and then be like i made my vagina feel great too and friends and family that have taken the time to purchase it love it too i guess they all like it too oh boy that's not your average it's so much above average. You will not be disappointed. Okay. Again, exclamation point. So people like it.

Holy shit. Let's find one more person that likes it because then it goes downhill from there. Okay. Amazing. This product, all caps, rocks. It rocks now. Okay. My boyfriend and I were using KY products when I noticed that I would become irritated, itchy and sticky after use. Well, none of those sound like advantageous lube outcomes, do they?

That sounds terrible. That's not what you want to have. I have super sensitive skin and I am allergic to everything. So we decided to stop use and find an alternative. I had heard of Lola in the past but never moved forward with purchasing anything. It's not a car. It's a $10 bottle of fucking

sex lube. What are you talking about? Just buy it. See if it works. Rub it around on your hands and go, yeah, that works. It's slick. I don't know. I considered it, but now I've dived right in. Diving right in. I read the reviews for this and decided to take a chance. And I am so all caps happy.

It's not sticky. It has a faint scent, but nothing that bothers us. And the packaging is so nice. Yeah, I got to know. What's the faint scent? And what does the packaging have to do with anything? Gee, I feel a burning in my crotch, but I'll tell you what, that packaging, I like the color of the box, let me tell you. What the hell are you talking about?

It has a real tilapia odor, but you know that box? That box? Beautiful. It's a pretty box. We threw it out two minutes after we bought it, but you know. I love that it has the lock on it because lube often spilled out of the KY bottles we used. How many? I feel lying around.

You're tripping over them. There's bottles spilling everywhere. Slow drip as it lays on its side. Yeah, very sad. Like gasoline. I will be continuing to purchase this lube for our use. Well, what other use would you have it for? Just for show?

Purchase this for my neighbor's use. The, what other use would you have it for? Just for show? I'll put bottles up. Just this for my neighbor's use. The box is so pretty. Now, here's Kayla. Not quite the same thing. One star. Yeah. One star. I really like this at first.

And then dot, dot, dot. And then, ouch. And then all caps, chemical burns. What? That's not a place to have chemical burns at all. That's like the worst place I imagine. For either person. This is all bad.

Yeah. My husband liked this lubricant at first. Ever since I had my son, I am just drier down there and I need some help. We could have done without that probably. Thank you for letting us know. Save that for Aunt Kathy when you're talking about your lube choices, I guess, right? I don't know. But they're giving the whole context so people can relate, I guess, maybe.

I mean, there's some damage that babies do to everything, so I get it. It happens. This smelled good. It wasn't sticky and lasted a while. After using about half the bottle, we went to use it again as usual, but this time it was different. Uh-oh. What, did gremlins get in it? What happened?

She didn't shake it. She got all... Kept it too close to an open flame? What's going on here? Okay, it was different. A few minutes in, both my husband and I started to feel a bit of burn. It was the lube. Well, thank you.

Mystery solved. Are you sure you didn't put Preparation H on it? Yeah, it really burned. My husband was able to easily wipe it off quickly and was okay. Well, that's because it's not interior on him. Right. Yeah. The skin on his parts was just a little irritated.

That's good. On his parts. It's very nice. But unfortunately, it's not as easy to remove it all from lady bits compared to men's. No. True. Lady bits are definitely much different, I would say. Yeah.

Now, I now have chemical burns down there. Jesus, you poor woman. Some on the outside, but the ones on the inside is worse. No shit. Oh, Jesus God. Yikes. It's been about four days of pain, and as it heals, itchy. Oh, my Christ.

Something I bought to help with sex, I assume she means sex, has now made sex impossible until I heal. I haven't had pain like this down there since I had my son over a year and a half ago. Jesus. Comparing it to childbirth? Must be horrible. It's as bad as an episiotomy. Yeah, you can have your taint slashed or use this.

One of the two. Jesus. I'm not sure what happened with this lube. I'd love to know. It was bought at Walmart. Still had all the tamper-proof stuff on it. It was kept on a bedside table. Just beware this is the worst. The worst. Okay.

Do you have a roommate that hates you? Did they put, like, fucking mentholictus in it? They put, like, Tabasco sauce in your lube? What happened? This is awful. Frank's red hot in there? Yeah. Here's Allison gives it one star.

Not our Allison, by the way. Not the Small Town Murder Research Allison. Different Allison. One star. Okay. Hard Pass is the first one. Yeah. That's got some puns in it also.

Yeah. You got some language. I really wanted to love this lube. Why does everybody want to love the product? The packaging must be amazing. It's just drawing you in. Great ingredients. The packaging is nice.

It's the packaging. That's what it is. Yeah, it sure is. And it has a pleasant smell, but it doesn't serve its purpose. It is only slippery for 20 seconds tops. Then it becomes dry and sticky. Yikes. Wow.

Not only does it not lubricate, it ends up worse than not using anything at all. Not only does it not lubricate, it ends up worse than not using anything at all. Maybe it would be okay in situations where you have additional natural lubrication, but any other foreplay and it's completely useless. Nothing less sexy than having to reach for the lube every 20 seconds. I just wanted to work my way through it since it's so expensive, but ended up throwing it out, so it's bad. Nothing more unsexy than reaching for have you seen somebody spit on it before because that's pretty unsexy also it can be that can be good though too you never know if you're in the mood if you're in the mood to be filthy that's fine but to go like to go hold on a minute wait let me get this thing and then shake it and like use the pump

top on it i can see that being being, like, it'll ruin it. Like a massage? Yeah, that's going to ruin the whole thing. Next up, one star. Do not buy this, in all caps. I don't understand how, since the ingredients seem so clean. But every time I have used this lube, I end up with a severe UTI that led me to the hospital. Jesus, that's not good.

Every time? I think one is enough to throw it out after that, right? Yeast infections, hives, and severe irritation. You're allergic to this. Jesus Christ, yeah. It does not stay silky for more than a few minutes until it becomes sticky. Please don't buy this. No.

The sticky part is scaring the shit out of me. Yeah, that's going to be yikes. All right, here's another one star. Bummer is the first line. Bummer. Well, either that or it's used to do bumming. I'm not sure. One of the two.

Bummer. Okay, everyone raves about this product, but that was not my experience. I get UTIs very easily, so I was very excited to try this. All right. not my experience. I get UTIs very easily, so I was very excited to try this. Dries up lube that isn't non allergenic, I think. Clean, whatever. Dries up quickly and started to burn every time

I used it. I have one partner, so no vag problems that could have contributed. That's nice. That's good to know. Let me know what's your vaginal history? Oh, okay. No problems. Good. Do you have any vag problems that could have contributed. Okay. That's nice. That's good to know. Let me know your, what's your vaginal history? Oh, okay. No problems.

Good. Do you have a vag problem? Now that we're all writing that down on the Walmart fucking website. Perfect. Such a bummer. Hope I can find a good alternative soon. Here's another one. A couple more here.

Clumpy. This one just. Gross. Yeah. Rachel says one star. Terrible. Clumpy. This one just. Gross. Yeah. Rachel says one star. Terrible. Clumped up. Okay.

I use Lola's pads. Love them. And I was stoked to try their lube. I was stoked, brah. Fucking hang ten. But this did not live up to my expectations. Initial assessment, excellent. But within minutes of use, the lube had quickly turned into a thick, buttery paste.

Oh. Oh. God, Jesus. I hope no one's having a bagel with cream cheese right now because it's just not going to be good. And quickly became actual granules and clumps. Does it get sandy in there? I don't want that either. Sandy lube?

That's not good. Awful. Very disappointed. Maybe a bad batch? Quality control issue? lube? That's not good. Awful. Very disappointed. Maybe a bad batch? Quality control issue? Question mark? That's possible, yeah. Holy shit.

Several others that say sticky, sticky, sticky, burning pain, ruin the mood, hate it. Then finally one person here says burns, burns really bad. Not sure why, but tried using it once, more time and every time three seconds after using have to run in the shower to wash it off what the hell stop using it that's what you can how do people do that you can thwart that man it really hurts every time but i kept going at it i'm gonna get my ten dollars worth out of it jesus this is it's not right So, and then finally, one star, and this one might be the luckiest lady of all here, Sierra. She says, it's been three weeks and I still haven't received my order. Well, that's probably for the best, I think.

There's super glue in there. You don't want it. Yeah, Lola's customer service is out of whack and I'm having trouble getting anyone to help me with my order. Super disappointed. Well, not as disappointed as you're going to be with chemical burns and sandy granules falling from your crotch. That's going to be worse.

After you go to the doctor for a UTI. No shit. Okay, so now that we're good and grossed out by clunky, buttery, weird, gross lube stuff here, not by the vaginas, obviously, but by the lube. The lube just sounds gross. Let's talk about something. I'm vaginas, obviously. The lube just sounds gross. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about something. Let's get I'm feeling hungry. Obviously, that made me a little hungry. So let's figure out what Taco Bell is like in England. What do you say? Oh, they got reviews for that place. Oh, yes, they do. Jimmy. Yes, they do jimmy yes they do what uh what did they say about us this is the address is h5 portway elder gate milton kane's mk91 dy united kingdom i think that's people can find it with those words they you can type that into a phone and it'll say wow turn left now and it. Yeah. There it is. So this is that Taco Bell.

3.1 stars they have here. I'm surprised it's that high. That's what I mean. But it's something like new over there. Yeah. Like I saw this YouTube video where these guys have these British high school kids try American food. Yeah. It's funny because they're like, Jesus, that's awful.

Like the sodas. They're like, how much sugar is in this? Holy shit. So they had them try Taco Bell for the first time. Yeah. And they fucking loved it. Everything like, oh, this is right proper. Yeah, they were just stuffing everything they had in their face.

Even like the Baja Blast drink, they're like, oh, that's amazing. This is awesome. They were all like, I'm going back in. They loved it. They fucking loved it. That's better than This is awesome. They were all like, I'm going back here. They loved it. They fucking loved it. That's better than tea, eh? It's described on Google as fast food chain serving Mexican-inspired fare. That's one way to put it.

Inspired. Just by name alone. Yeah. We heard of a taco one time and decided to make this instead. Tacos, quesadillas,illas and nachos which is obviously the most authentic you're ever gonna get i can't imagine how long has it been in in uh in england it can't be more than 10 15 years right unless no if they move it there after like fucking demolition man well if the no if the teenagers haven't tried it yet i can't imagine it's been

there long because teenagers eat fast food. You know what I mean? They'll eat everything. So here is, uh, Winifred is her first name, Winifred, which is very British and amazing.

Pretty. Yeah. Five stars. She has lots of reviews here locally, uh, for Google five stars, lovely little Mexican fast food, but authentic restaurant.

What? Authentic. That's a word I've never heard you even inspired as saying not authentic. She's like, oh, just like Mexico City. Yes. Lovely. Are you fucking kidding me? Just like my trip to Cabo.

I was in Rosarito one time on the Baja. And I had a dish very similar to this. It's the last bad British accent I'll do. That's a woman that's fed up with tea and crumpets. I got a few. She's had enough of the fingers and mash. This is exotic to her. She's like, this is amazing. One more sausage and I'll fucking...

I'm going to lose it. If you put beans on that piece of toast i'm gonna punch you in the throat i swear to god i can't take it anymore i just need a fucking quesadilla something i used them in the u.s and i really welcoming now i really welcoming now here in milton canes too relatively tasty. Relatively cheap is why it exists. I don't know, I get a big bag of shit for $15. But dude, it used to be crazy affordable.

Crazy. 69 cent tacos, 49 cent. Give me tons of them. Unbelievable. My mom would go get two... We're talking about 30 years ago also. You sound like people when we were kids going, a coffee, cup of coffee used to be a nickel. That's what you're doing.

You're the cup of coffee used to be a nickel. A taco used to be 49 cents. Do you hear me? I'm just saying it used to feed our family. My mom would get two taco would feed our entire family for 49 cents. 20 packs of tacos. And we would fucking shovel those in our faces. It's so much fun. That's why it's there. Yeah, that it's there yeah that's my mom giggled because it cost her nothing no it was a bunch of car here kids eat

some garbage it's cheap and that's what we all did cost me 10 bucks i don't care i don't care the only problem i think is something wrong with the air circulation system i had to ask for takeaway as i don't want to stink from the oily smell. No, that's just the food, ma'am. It's just the fast food. Yeah, I worked there for a day. Trust me, that smell stuck with me for about two days after that. Really did. It's going to stick. It's going to stick on you. There's nothing wrong with the air circulation system. That's just what it smells like. That's it. Otherwise, excellent with a thumbs up and an A-OK fucking emoji.

Really? Parking, a bit tricky. So many fast food places next to each other, but somehow manageable. That's good. She recommends the nachos, the quesadilla, the taco supreme, the tacos, the crispy chicken, the shawarma. They have shawarma there? What? Wow. Supreme, the tacos, the crispy chicken, the shawarma. They have shawarma there? What?

Wow. Two tacos, cheese sauce, cheesy roll-up, crispy chicken burrito, bean burrito, seven-layer burrito, guacamole, black beans, and breakfast burrito. She ate everything. That's it. Yeah, she ate it all. Here's another five-star. They love it. Here it is.

Happy Tourist is the person. Really? They have a shitload of reviews. I like Taco Bell. Okay. That's nice. Portions may not be the biggest. No, because it's Taco Bell. But like we all used to get.

Not like we all used to get, but it's definitely enough. Feels a bit healthier than McDonald's. Well, that's really just a perception in your own brain that's not it's just how it feels it's all sodium trust me it's all the same thing but yeah there's no food in that that's all chemicals i've seen the big plastic bag that the meat comes in that they pour it out of and use it from and you wouldn't think that if you saw that. Trust me. You'd go, ooh, that seems less healthy than anything. Those beans are just lard.

That's just fat. And they just sit there the whole fucking day. Yeah, it's not good. Trust me. Here's Paul. He gave it two stars. And he said, just needs cleaning. Okay?

The entire restaurant was dirty. Toilets were nasty. Paper all over the floor. Oh, no. Are we going to have another poop incident? I feel poop coming in our future. The toilets themselves need scrubbing. That's close enough.

There it is. Absolutely filthy. You needed to wash your hands after you used the sink to wash your hands. Okay. Very funny. You're hilarious there. You're a regular who's funny from Britain. Okay. Very funny. You're hilarious there. You're a regular... Yeah.

Who's funny from Britain? I don't know. You're very serious people. Is he? You're a regular Eric Idle over there. There you go. Good job. Jimmy Carr?

Yeah, there you go. Main restaurant, tables were covered in food remnants, rubbish wrappers, and general nastiness. I want British people to review every shithole fast food restaurant here just to hear rubbish. He hasn't said a fucking thing about the food, though. I want him to tell me what he thinks of that, because that matters to me. That's coming up. We ate

in, and in the entire time, nobody cleaned anywhere. Customers were clearing up the area for the rubbish was overflowing. Food, however, was banging. Banging. I can't believe it.

Obviously filthy. Even the places will show us are filthy. I can't imagine what it's like back there, but you know what? Bacteria is delicious. I don't give a shit. Recommendation is that ignorance is bliss, and when it opens, use the drive-thru.

Just don't go in and see how dirty it is. Don't look at it. Just push it down your fucking throat like Americans do. I was just going to say, you figured out Taco Bell. This is what we've known for decades now, and you finally figured it out. You never go inside. you get it out of a window and therefore you just assume this is perfect stuff it into your into your face uh here is an john uh with one star here we go it was my

first time visiting taco bell and I had the worst experience ever. That's not an uncommon statement. That's what we all say. I ordered a seven-layer burrito, and they just put stale beans and stale rice inside it. It's a two-layer. And? Yeah. That's Taco Bell.

What else is in it? What do you expect? The beans sit there all day. Yeah. That's Taco Bell. What else is in it? What do you expect? The beans sit there all day. And the sour queen, I almost said, the sour cream, guacamole, and lettuce and the rest

of the thingy were missing. Thingy. The thingy. You got a missing thingy. So they got two of the seven layers? That's it? They got two of the seven layers. It was just beans and rice, which is none of the-

No. No, you need the sour cream for some moisture. You need the beef in there. I took a bite and thought maybe the rest of the stuff is BW the burrito. I don't know what that means. But alas, it was the same all over. Sometimes you have the sour cream. We'll shift all the way to one side.

Yeah. Totally bland. I complained to the lady on cashier and she made a weird face. And then she is like, sorry, we will give you another one. You don't want that one. Okay. The new one, which she brought was still the same. Everything was missing from it.

How do you fuck that up twice? Go. Hey guys, make sure to put all the layers in this one. Okay. No, no, guys. Seven of them. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. All right. Here you go. Seven of them. There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. All right, here's two.

Wow. The new one, which she brought, was still the same. Yeah, sad and very bad experience. Sad? I don't know if that would be sad. I mean, any experience there is going to be a little sad. That's the thing. You're going there.

The act of committing Taco Bell is sad. When you pull up to the drive-thru, you're making there the act of committing taco bell is sad when you pull up to the drive-thru you're making a concession i can't believe how do you two of the seven i'm gonna deal with this this only has two layers all right we'll take care of it here's the here's two more not even the other five in this one that'd be great or maybe a different a different two layers just to spice it up a little bit she gets the same two layers then she says something here that blows my mind only the fries were okay they have fries at taco bell over there yeah the face you made was exactly what i said

when i read it i was like no i want fries at taco bell what are they are they good fries are they better be no i'm sure they're terrible it's's Taco Bell. But they're still going to be. I want to try them. Yeah, I'll still try them. They're French fries. Yeah. She also says there should be more vegetarian options. Then she says, please use fresh ingredients.

Well, no. You went to Taco Bell. You're getting something that is meat free. There's no meat in that. I promise. No, it's garbage. I mean, it's maybe meat, but not the meat you meat in that, I promise. No, it's garbage. I mean, it's maybe meat, but not the meat you think it is, I'm sure. It's kind of.

It's something like it. I'm sure it's something someone hit on a roadside somewhere. Here's another one star. This person has 325 reviews on here. I can't. Jeez, this is a lot. I love this so much. This is almost no consistency, or I'm sorry. Absolutely no consistency with the food.

Yes, it's Taco Bell. Yeah, right. You'll get two tacos. One will be perfect. One will be a piece of shit. And you go, they made these next to each other. How the fuck do you mess this up? You'll get one that it's amazing.

Then you open the next one and the shell is exploding. You pick it up and the bottom falls out of it completely. It's all soft on the bottom. You got to scoop the taco. He has scooped the taco. Tacos were undercooked. Half the fillings dropped out. Yeah, that's a Taco Bell taco. That's overcooked. It's a more than three

minute old Taco Bell taco. They think that means the shell's undercooked. Not that it sat in there for a while and soaked through the shell and then turned to shit no no you're eating an old taco oh god i'm gonna pass out that's the greatest this is great oh my god british people not understanding how this works is amazing to me that's so fucking funny yeah

by the way we'd like to apologize to the entire we're sorry united kingdom i'm sure it's all over your place over there we didn't mean to send this over to you, but this is what we deal with. We like it. We eat it. We know it's bad. When we're done eating it, we go, oh, why did I eat all that Taco Bell? But we eat it. So now you know what it's like to feel like an American.

That's not undercooked. You didn't open that fast enough. You took that through the through he was casual about it yeah he ate his burrito first he doesn't know how you work taco bell tacos go first anything with a shell you you you race fucking mash that thing down you got a bean burrito looking wait the beans are old anyway. Don't worry about it. He said it's undercooked. Undercooked. When you order from a multinational chain like this, you would expect there to be high standards across the board. Actually, the opposite, I would think.

Unbelievable. Our initial order was actually given to someone else, so they also have internal communication issues by the looks of things. Probably. Yeah, I'm sure. It's probably children running it. Teenagers. To say it was a massively underwhelming experience would be an understatement. They need to have a regional team come in and seriously overlook the operations at Milton Keynes.

What a disappointment. What he doesn't realize is that probably happened. Someone probably did come in and went, perfect. It's running. This is a Taco Bell now. Now you got it. Now you're getting it. Oh, man.

Here's Susie with one star. Don't bother. They got delivery Taco Bell, which is going to be bad. Oh, my God. don't bother okay they got delivery taco bell which is gonna be bad oh my god you gotta eat the tacos in your car as you're driving from the window if you don't want them to be if you get drive-through you haul ass oh you run and you're entrusting somebody else to get you drive-through please they're texting in the parking lot come on they. They don't care. You can't do that. Whatever's in, whatever that, everything's soggy.

It's trash. Whatever you get, be happy with it. It's going to be spoonable. When you order it, you go, well, this is going to suck. And you know, it said, don't bother. Actually, pretty much no food arrived. Okay. Well, enough for a hungry mouse. Maybe this is what this is what a hungry mouse

would eat two supreme tacos one nacho one churro all arrived cold and greasy that's yes you're getting it this is so adorable a refund would be nice yeah it sure would be but you're not getting it oh man here's one star oh these people think there's like a customer service branch to this operation take away but go home which is miles away well that's your mistake now you know better this is on you you've got to live within a quarter mile of a taco bell for it to be worth it uh which is miles away to discover part of it missing. Okay. That's different. Can I get a hold of customer service? No, I cannot because it's nonexistent.

I just want my money back. You know what? You just call. No. You call Taco Bell a loss. It's just a loss. Go back to the restaurant, get all that shit for free, and then eat your spit tacos and enjoy it because that's what you're getting now.

That's it. That's all. This is the choice you've made. You've made it. That's the thing're getting now that's it that's that's all this is the choice you've made oh you've made it that's the thing you didn't know though you were conned by some fancy american company here that's what happened you saw this this fucking foreigner that made it all the way so successful they made it to ink that's what what they think. Yeah. No. It's successful because trash eats there. Yeah. Like us.

And there's a lot of trash here. Yeah. Like us. We eat there all the time. It's gross. And I eat it anyway. Here's Jack with one star. Do you see what it says on this cup, James?

Yeah. That's what I mean. Where were you today? Yeah. I know you did. Because you were drinking it when i got there yeah because i am trash look at you with your taco bell off and i was pissed you ate it without me yeah that was the other thing i was like when did you eat that if it was more than like 20 minutes ago or less than 20 minutes ago i'm gonna be very mad at you there's not a there's not a cuba ice

it was melty. It was melty. Hours ago. It's like, you could get me a shitty taco. So Jack is at one star. Extremely slow service. Three out of four self-service machines not working due to local printer near out of paper, quote unquote. It's just nobody servicing the machine.

Self-serve, too. Yeah, they're just doing the kiosk drive through not open food was cold when finally received cheesy roll up seemed to be squashed cheese as opposed to melted cheese.

Yeah. What a squash squash. They just smushed it and said now it's melted. I've never heard that cheesy roll up is that nacho cheese. It's disgusting.

Oh, man. Quesadillas seem to have hardly any filling to the point that one out of the four slices was just tortilla wrap. Yeah, that tracks. I'd be livid. I'd be pissed, too. All service seems to be aimed at the delivery drivers and not the restaurant or customers. There was four complaints from other customers whilst sat down for 20 minutes or so. Oh, boy.

Pretty poor standard for a Wednesday afternoon at 2 p.m. Yeah, I would say so. Then somebody last one, and it's very short. One star. I don't know what they're talking about, but it's pretty good. I took a spooky dookie and the toilet exploded what is that everyone called the police and the news alerted of a hurricane oopsies okay they think they're kidding but it's taco bell so they might be

serious they might could they as i mean i've had that experience you'll get that one out of 20 times a taco bell like a national disaster national disaster you know alert the alert the media type level of where everybody's phones get get an alert yeah man was there a kid missing so next up now that we're we've had taco bell and yeah we're itchy on the inside. We got to feel better about ourselves, Jimmy, don't we? I am fucking floored by British people eating that and saying it's good. They love it. Oh, they love it because it's just different for them. It's like what happened when they popped up in Iowa in the 80s.

They were like, this is fucking amazing. When they popped up in like Iowa in the 80s, they were like, this is fucking amazing. I guess that's probably the equivalent of people in Australia thinking that when Americans think that Outback is good, they've got to think we're trash for it. Maybe. Or maybe they think it's great, too. We don't know. So let's get our nails done, Jimmy. What do you say?

All right. Let's feel pretty again. All right. Let's do it. All right. We're going to the. All right. Let's do it. All right. We're going to the Onyx Nail Bar in Dallas. Why do they call it a nail bar? What is that about? Nail bar.

Because that's very common in Phoenix, too. Yeah, it makes it sound looser, I think. It makes it sound like... Sometimes they serve booze? They usually do, yeah. They hand out booze all the time. Yeah, those are the type of places. But then again, I don't really know very much about this type of place.

This is at 4123 Cedar Springs Road, Suite 109 in Dallas, Texas. Here we go. Let's do it here. All right, five stars. Angie's thrilled. So satisfied with my service. I love coming here. I want to thank Helen for my beautiful nails.

Uh-huh. Then she said, update, got my Halloween nails done last week and love them so much. Helen always does an amazing job. Helen again. Helen again, not bad. Here comes Benny with five stars. Uh-huh. I took my girlfriend here a couple of times.

She always had an amazing experience at Onyx Nail Bar Dallas.allas the moment i walked in i was greeted with a warm and welcoming atmosphere the staff was friendly the place was spotless and my girlfriend's nails turned out beautifully highly recommended why are you reviewing this yeah what the fuck benny let her review it or her nails are wet that's why she's like will you she can't touch yeah leave them a nice review please and she's like blowing on them and shit. Her hands are still under that dryer. And there's pictures of her nails there, too. All right.

Other people, not so great. Not so great. Erica, not happy. No. One star, pissed off. Okay. I used to love this place. Yeah.

That's a good start. I've been coming here since 2017. Ownership changed a few times, and the prices are ridiculous now. I will never return. Oh, prices went up. Yep. I paid $277 for me and my nine-year-old daughter, and all we were supposed to be getting was gel mani-pedis, and she got two designs on each hand of dots that resemble a leopard.

$277 seems like a lot. That seems, wow. That seems like a lot for nails, right? What else did you get? That's what I mean. Just mani-pedi, mani-pedi. They wash your car while they were out there. That's $135 a piece, right?

Yeah. Is there like a buffet while you're eating? Is that part of it? Like crab legs? There better be a hot rod. They got crab legs? Yeah. I want a crab leg buffet here,

or else I'm not happy with this pricing. This is not okay. How were the oysters? Were they fresh? At least were they fresh? Smell good? Were they briny East Coast or more of a mild, sweeter west coast? What are we talking about?

I told them in the beginning if the dip and gel didn't match, just do dip. Then they added tips to a nine-year-old. She asked my daughter, and of course she said yes without consulting me. Then they upcharged everything else. Well, the girl said yes, so we did it. That's what I mean. We've both been here before and got almost the same thing, and it was only $150 or so total.

That still sounds like a lot. I don't know. $277. That's what it costs? I don't know. They should be ashamed. Oh. This is with multiple H's.

Oh. And I asked for French tips, and the petty petty and my nails and feet came out ugly. Okay. However, my daughter is. I got ugly feet. However, my daughter is happy with her nails. That's good. It better be for $300.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, for $200. I'd be like, bitch, you better love those nails if I'm taking my daughter for $300 manicure. And they gave me planner's wards. Yeah, what the hell? Okay, here we go. This is Julie with One Star. I was expecting so much from Onyx because I had gotten my toes done there before and thought it was solid, but had a terrible experience when I got my nails done there.

I get mid-length acrylic gel coffin shaped nails and when i went there during their 20 off time they did not tell me that it was not for acrylics until after my appointment oh that's not for you that's not for you that's not easy other people yeah you want coffins jesus that's crazy on top of that when i asked if i got the 20 off off and they said no, my card was processing and the charge and the lady canceled the charge and just added $10 to my bill. Okay. All in all, it was extremely pricey for an average job on the nails and the service that

I experienced was not great. Wouldn't you fucking hammer that out right when when you're getting things done i that's yeah i would think you need to go over that i would think this is like if you're you know you don't go to like a you don't go to toyota thon and then they're like uh they're they're 20 off of everything except for the sequoia why'd you buy a sequoia and then they do all the paperwork and the loans going through and you're like hold hold on a minute. Wait, the 20% off? You got to come up with all these pricing up front here. So Jamie gives two star or one star.

I'm sorry. Went in yesterday for a mani-pedi with my friend and the male nail tech would not stop talking rudely about my feet. What? They always talk about you. Was he like horny about him or was he like god lady your feet are busted was he like making fun of you he was saying bad shit oh jesus i got uncomfortable and i should have said something but it was my first time there and i didn't want to cause a scene oh jesus that sucks to not feel insulted stop talking about me or to your feet at least oh gee oh man i tipped really well at the end but if

but it angers me unless you include us in the convo don't say anything not even to her he was talking about her feet to other people see this bitch's feet jesus christ it's this is disgusting i'm right here oh yeah that's great no i'm doing fine it'll be done soon i mean they're disgusting i don't even want to touch them thank god we have gloves right yeah you can smell them right yeah i can smell it from here um wow i started the appointment already knowing my feet were not perfect and that's why i was there oh she's she's trying to hook them up yeah it's just fucked up me and my friend couldn't even talk with the conversation they were having wow they're real loud about it they're over yeah they're talking about like the football game last weekend they're this is why i think most male texts are ladies probably yeah the male text

because it's amazing when you get dudes together this is gonna be weird me and you would be terrible at doing nails i need you both to hear me insult this bitch's feet imagine we were doing nails though we would be terrible at it we'd be talking to each other we're making jokes three of the guys were cool and i could tell uh they were telling the one rude guy to chill but he made comments the whole time will not be quiet next time. Three exclamation points. Amazing. Oh my goodness, that's fucking great. So yeah, alright, next up

Stevie, one star. I do not know much about nails. Okay, well yeah. My first services were here. Gel manicure and pedicure. I explained about my psoriasis and to take cautious with Dremel due to nail damage and my fears. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. That's that grinder that they use at your cuticle? Is that what she's talking about? Her cuticles? Yeah, yeah. I was ignored. No, she's talking about the Dremel. Yeah, the grinder.

Yeah, the grinder. Because they'll grind your cuticles with those. Yeah, and smooth out all the shit. I was ignored. I now have a potentially permanent damage to my nail. It has looked awful for months and has finally now come off. I'm seeing my dermatologist shortly. Hopefully something can be done to save my nailed.

That's what she says here's not my um it is unfortunate that it seems quantity is far more important than quality in this salon jesus christ that is um that's funny now here's the last one and this is i love when i love when they argue this is great the the owner came back oh yeah i came back on him here this is great. The owner came back? Oh, yeah. Came back on him. Oh, this is great. Okay. One star. I came in for a pedicure. I just wanted basic service with polish. Sounds like she's getting her car washed there.

Yeah. Do the basic. Nah, fuck the under grill or the underside. I don't want to know. I don't need tire shine. Just wash the fucking car. I wasn't offered anything to drink, yet it is complimentary with five exclamation points. Oh, for heaven's sake.

Technician asked if I wanted callus removal, which is an extra $7. I said no. All she did was massage legs a little and cut nails and paint. She waited for a tip, which she shouldn't have gotten after she never offered me anything to drink. But I gave her one. I will stick to other nail places that will offer drink and at least scrape your feet for calluses without paying extra scrape my feet for free i need you to take this shit off what are you fucking queen victoria what the fuck are you talking about like this is

what did the owner say well hello this is Onyx Nail Bar Dallas. We are wondering if you review the right location since we don't have any customer asked for basic pedicure today. Normally, basic pedicure come with warm foot soak, nail and cuticle care, light foot scrub and lotion. But we also have other pedicure options with intense callus treatment. If it was us, we are very sorry for your bad experience. Would you consider to call us back so we can make it right for you? Thank you with our time. They're very nice.

They're very nice. They were like, we think you're lying, but just in case, call us. I think you saw somebody else at a different location, not us. But just in case. In case. Yeah. Come back. Come back here.

Here we go. Okay. Well, one more fuck it samuel one star there's a woman here i think named lily i love when they name someone right off the bat you'll want to avoid her at all costs okay that's nice had to have a couple of my fingernails recut at the cash register because she was barely paying attention. At the cash register? Is that a grooming site? Didn't do the bottoms of my feet during the petty and then tried to wax my nose using strips. I've never had someone do that, and it obviously doesn't work. She was repeatedly digging her finger up my nose trying to set the strips.

Jesus. Get a pair of tweezers, dude. There's not that much nose hair. You can do it at home. It's so easy. Yeah. Jesus. What a pair of tweezers, dude. There's not that much nose hair. You can do it at home. It's so easy. Jesus, what the hell. This lady was picking my nose for 10 minutes. Go to Nailed.

They know what they're doing. Two sticks up your nose, and 20 seconds later, you're breathing through the smoothest nostrils you've ever had. For God's sakes. You're not supposed to remove all of your nose hair. Your nose hair serves a very specific biological purpose to filter shit out that shouldn't go into your lungs. Just get it around the rim of your nostrils so that it doesn't hang out. That's it, man. It shouldn't look like a party favor like Major League when he sees it.

It's like a party favor. It shouldn't look like that. You're going to get the flu tomorrow. That is not good. to league when he's when he sees it's like a party favor it shouldn't look like that you're gonna get the flu tomorrow that is not good my wife had a great experience though so not all the employees are bad mine was just so bad i do i do i to do one star sorry wow that's a fucked up sentence yeah um all of this terrible experience cost us $180, too. Jesus. Jesus Christ, man. That is fucking wild.

They are crushing it if that's the money that they're making. All that money for those? Yeah, it seems like that shit's expensive. And they want you to do it not on a card. They want you to bring cash. Yeah, yeah, cash money. Yeah, that's going to be a, man, that's something. I'm glad I don't have to get my nails done all the time to keep them. Yeah. They must be making a fortune. They got to be a man that's something i i'm glad i don't have to get my nails done all the time to keep them yeah that seems to be making a they gotta be killing it yeah to go and do something and

have it be everything's 150 to have something done it's wow so now that we're all taco bell didn't fill us up no we're all we're all fancy and pretty now jimmy we've all our nails are done we all feel my nostrils are fucking smooth yeah never silky smooth smoother than the lube that's no that's the point nothing to whistle through jesus nothing through so let's find out now let's let's go have a sit down dinner me and you what do you say i know everybody that's listening right now me and you and thousands and thousands of people let's talk about it so let's head over to dotty's family restaurant shall we yeah dotty's family restaurant is on its address 59 22 uh missouri so state route 19 in missouri okay missouri state route 19 in cuba miss. Cuba. Cuba, like the town.

Yes. Yeah, state. Country? Country, yeah. The territory. Did I say town? I meant country. Yeah.

That's the town. It's named after the country because they liked Cuba, the guys that were there. So this town, this is in like central eastern Missouri type of deal. All right, let's talk about it. It's on the highway, so it's a lot of people stopping in and out. Some people love the joint.

They can't get enough of it. It's, by the way, recently been sold to the TA truck stop franchise. Oh, Dottie's now is owned by TA, the corporation. We're not picking on poor Dottie, some old lady with three of her kids

working there trying to pump stuff out. We're picking on a giant conglomerate of shit. So here's Janet with One Star. My husband and I are OTR, over-the-road truckers, in case you don't know, from Oklahoma, and came in to enjoy Dottie's restaurant for dinner. We were immediately seated and our drinks brought to us. Yeah, that's a restaurant. That's how it works. Yeah, yeah. They said, no, you can sit, but you can't.

You can either have drinks or a chair. One of the two. We'll feed you and then bring you drinks. My husband has been driving since the dinosaur days, LOL, and he loved the old truck stop feel. Our waitress was on top of her game. Even being at the end of her shift, she didn't miss a beat.

The food looked great, but tasted even better. We will be the end of her shift, she didn't miss a beat. The food looked great but tasted even better. We will be back and thank you, Dotties, for a good home-cooked meal. She doesn't know. That sounds great. She has no idea that nothing was home-cooked. No, she's like, this was the best. I mean, if you're on the road, really, it's better than the Taco Bell probably three hours away. Yeah.

Here's five stars again. Here we go. Quit scrolling. Eat here. Oh. You won't be disappointed. Go out of your way if you have to, but this place is conveniently located in the middle of nowhere on a state route in Missouri. Conveniently located where nobody lives.

Isn't that great? State route address. If you happen to be driving from southern Missouri to St. Louis, boy, do we have you covered. This is going to be great. Not even an interstate. No, state route. Go out of your way. They have something for everyone.

Their buffet looked great, but we decided to order from the menu. See what they can do here. You can't go wrong with their country fried steak. The gravy is life-changing. Oh, what? Life-changing. Wow. You need a doctor now? Oof. Other things to try. The sweet tea,

pancakes, biscuits, and gravy, and all of their breakfast sides are great quality. Yes, we almost tried them all. Every item on our table was cooked to perfection and served hot. If I could give this place 10 stars, I would. Oh, wow. Phew, that is perfect. Here comes the next one here.

Bradley, not as happy. One star. Didn't get any food. Hard to judge it then. Didn't have a chance. There's your answers to your question there but the elderly people behind me had no problem oh they ate everything they ate it all i just wanted something to go but the waitress i think her name was kate okay told me there's no hostess

so it'll be a while by the way there's a certain age where you start naming the employees when you complain about things i think it's like 54 i think is the age you hit where you start naming the employees when you complain about things. I think it's like 54, I think, is the age you hit where you go. I think it was, was it Lily? It was Lily. Yeah, she was terrible. Like, I don't fucking know who the hell waited on me. I have no idea.

To complain about them? I'm not going to write it down. How funny would it be if this guy is reviewing after the other reviewers are sitting there trying everything. Trying it all. This is great. Why won't my food come out? An elderly couple that's been OTR since that dinosaur days. And Kate's like, I'm sorry sir, but the kitchen's backed up. They ordered

all the breakfast sides. They've been trying everything. So Kate told me there was no hostess, so it'll be a while. She didn't even give me a chance to ask what the vegetable for the day was. Well, no, because that's an odd thing to ask someone when they say, just a minute, we'll seat you. They don't expect, would you like to know the vegetable of the day? Imagine if you were waiting to be seated and that's what the hostess walked up and said to you. Would you like to know?

You'd be like, no, not really. I mean, I guess. Why would I want that? Why would I like to know? You'd be like, no, not really. I mean, I guess. Why would I want that? Why would I want to know that right now? I'm not even sitting yet. 500 mile day and then to have to deal with rude or just maybe she don't give a care. Give a care.

I miss that one. I miss that one so much. Oh, man. That one's as good as penis wrinkle that's fantastic between naming the waitress and then saying she maybe she don't give a care and then this next sentence this person's age goes up 10 years every time next sentence i wanted to try the liver and onions okay oh jesus now you're at least 77 years old at this point. Why do you want war rations? What the fuck? I had you at 54.

Now I peg you at 77. And who would be an elderly couple to you eating liver and onions, you psycho? Who was behind you, Methuselah and her husband? Was Jimmy Carter there? Yeah, unless Jimmy Carter's there, you there you're elderly sir holy shit um this is fucking wild by the way liver one time my grandmother tried to feed me liver yeah and tell me it was steak she said oh it's my steak but the one it's steak and i took a bite and i went oh that's not steak jesus what the fuck and then my grandfather started laughing his ass off and i never ate liver and onions for us once i tasted and i was like what is that that is

repulsive that's the worst taste i've ever tasted i've eaten a lot of bad white trash food you know luckily if you like it though the smell will linger in the house for four or five days so you can keep your breath's gonna smell like it for a while oh the liver and the onions they fight for supremacy of what is the worst smell coming out of your fucking hole that's so bad i wanted to try the liver and onions whatever today's restaurants ain't what they used to be 83 now did we just up him too i think we're seven he went from 77 to 54 to about 65 to 77 now i'm going 83 um and i usually tip five bucks on 10 so i'll just go across the highway to mcdonald's he doesn't say percentages he says five on 10 i tip 50 50 baby, I mean, hey, maybe he just lowered his age a little.

Here's Scotty with one star. All right. Chicken fried steak is frozen crappy patty. Not fit serve anyone. Not fit serve. Frozen crappy, by the way, is C-R-A-P-P-I-E. I like that. Like the fish.

Yeah, like it's the fish. It's a frozen crappie patty. Oh, nice. Good. Is this crappie season? The crappies are good. They're good eating. I'll tell you what.

Frozen crappie patty. That'd be great. It's weird that they call it chicken fried steak, but I'm okay with a frozen crappie patty. We'll take that. Sounds like fish and chips, bud. Not bad. Yeah, it's pretty good. Their homemade meatloaf is tough like leather.

Oh, God. Like leather. She just saw it on it. Flavor is terrible. No one takes pride in restaurant cooking anymore. It's TA, man. There's two people now that have put a broad blanket statement over all restaurants because dotty has bad meatloaf based on dotty's in the middle of fucking nowhere nowhere

society has gone to shit my meatloaf was tough all right i've eaten here and this food was trash i'll bet every restaurant in new york city's piece of shit. They're all bad. All of them. Holy balls. Here's Casey. One star for Casey. The waitress, Emily, so we're in mid-50s at least, was not going to allow me

to order from the kids menu because she didn't know that I had a child. Is your kid there? I was just going to say, is this an invisible child? because she didn't know that I had a child. Oh. Well. Is your kid there? I was just going to say, is this an invisible child? Is this an imaginary child? She couldn't see her.

Nobody gets to see her. Is this your nine-year-old that fell out of a window in 2002 and you still keep him close to you wherever you go? Like, what's happening here? You order a place setting for him. I don't know she didn't know that i had a child which is completely stupid it is not her business if i have a child oh what the fuck is going on i don't think she brought the child with her she i eat off the kids menu now because i have kids because i if they said you have to have a child she didn't

know that i had a child but then she said it it. I don't understand. That's stupid. It's not her business if I have a child. Just fucking Emily, you bitch. Stop being so fucking nosy. She's militant about it. Wow. If business if I have a child, the food took forever to come out.

10 out of 10 won't come here again. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10 won't come here again. Ba-ba-ba 10 out of 10 won't come here again. Ba-ba-ba-da-da-da. Here we go. Mary, one star. Buffet was okay. My husband had the meatloaf, which was tough as shoe leather.

Oh, second person. He couldn't eat it. Oh. Not wouldn't. Physically couldn't chew it, I feel like. The saliva and his teeth couldn't break the meat down, so he couldn't physically couldn't chew it i feel like the saliva and his teeth couldn't break the meat down so we couldn't physically eat it he was dunking it in the water but he couldn't eat it couldn't eat it man he was doing like them hot dog fellers do when they eat a hundred hundred

of them at a time they're dunking it and putting it didn't work didn't work um my husband couldn't eat the meatloaf uh you'll see he couldn't eat it the waitress was good and super nice okay i don't think it was kate or emily obviously but you know i doubt it yeah okay here we go chris one star the one star is for the nice waitress i had she is a jewel okay is it is that her name that's what that? Later on it becomes confusing. We'll find out here. The one with the knee brace on. This poor woman is working at a fucking truck stop on the highway in Cuba, Missouri, limping your shit food to you. And you don't even learn her fucking name.

Yeah, the gimpy bitch. Man, the one with the knee brace on barely getting around but she is just as sweet as she can be working her balls off working her balls sitting here just watching her hobble she did say she took about four or five oxycodones before she started her shift which might might might could explain the whole situation i ain't sure um now now that's enough of jewel here we go dot dot dot that buffet on the other hand yeah jesus one sentence after that one word sentence that buffet on the other hand jesus it should have been the one in an it should have been the one in a knee brace because it was definitely lame.

Wow. I don't know if I'm impressed or not. That's a reach. You reached for that hard, bro. I like the lame part, but the callback, it's not bad, I guess. You reached for that harder than a knee brace truck stop waitress reaching for a shoe leather tough meatloaf on a Sunday afternoon, buddy. I'll tell you what. It was lame. What was so lame about it?

Lame. Fish, hard as a rock. Okay. Mac and cheese, mac and cheese hard. And definitely came from the box. Okay. I bet it didn't. I bet it may be.

Chili was good. You ate the chili? He ate the chili. If all those things are bad, the chili is going to be terrifying. That's bad stuff. This was embarrassing. I don't know why, but dot, dot, dot. I felt ashamed sitting there forcing junkyard scraps down my throat, but I was hungry.

Junkyard scraps? What, like someone I was hungry. Junkyard scraps? What, like someone's old catalytic converter? What are you talking about? Stuff an old air filter down the throat? From an 84 Corolla? Yeah. Well, won't be back. Good luck.

Yeah. Good luck with all that. All right, two more here because they're really good. He's embarrassed to be there. Embarrassed to be sitting here amongst this shit. Yeah. One star. It starts out, awesome food and service will definitely be coming back.

So you're like, how's it one star? Because there's an update. Update. Had the chicken fried steak off the menu. Not had, but not great. So not bad, as they're trying to say. Then update again yuck works worst breakfast buffet ever stick with the menu i've had better food in jail than their breakfast

buffet they came back i'm a criminal by the way by the way i've been in jail and i'm looking down my nose at this place i I'm embarrassed to be here. But they weren't kidding. 10 out of 10, we'll be back. And they came back for breakfast. For more. Yeah. Back for more gluttons here.

Update, fourth and last visit. Each time I come here, the food just gets worse. Stop going there. Stop. You just said it's below, it's subpar to prison food. Prison food. I tried it again. I tried it again. I tried it again.

Give him one more try. Give him one more shot. I had to spit out the first bite of peach cobbler. I swear it tasted like wet dog. Never coming back. Like the way a wet dog smells or he actually eats wet dogs. Actually eats wet dogs. Actually eats wet dogs. Oh, my God.

Okay. One more. Two more because one's quick and one's funny. We're both funny. Okay. One star here and then we're going to got to wrap this up. Alyssa was very nice and seated me. Never got waited on by the waitress, Samantha.

This person had a notebook. It was Alyress, Samantha. This person had a notebook. It was Alyssa, Samantha. Finally, after 20 minutes, Alyssa says she didn't take your order. Then Alyssa took my order, which was chili brought by, brought my chili, refilled my drink

while the waitress was too busy texting on her phone and making a date with the guy at the counter. Maybe her kid's sick and in the hospital you don't know what she's texting no clue alissa should be a waitress not a hostess alissa did a great job unlike the supposedly and that's how he spelled it yeah the supposedly waitress samantha unlike this fucking imposter wearing a knee brace like a real waitress and she ain't even one.

Only thing Samantha did was bring my check and, of course, want a tip. Oh, yeah. That's how it works. I will be making a call to management about this. Very bad service by waitress Samantha. Thank goodness for hostess Alyssa. Thank you, Alyssa. I can't stress it enough.

If you get bad service somewhere, keep it to your fucking self. I go back and back to the reservoir dogs thing when he's like, she wasn't a great waitress. I want my coffee tip this much. I want my coffee filled this much. And the guy goes, what do you want her to do? Take you in the back, suck your dick? What do you want from people?

Why do you have such a high bar for fucking somebody? You ordered food and it got brought to you. You didn't have to. Did you make dinner? Did you make it? Shut the fuck up. What do you care about the roles in this restaurant? Whether Alyssa should be here and Samantha is going to be.

Who gives a shit? Who brings it? Brings you the check? Maybe it's a team effort. You have no idea. Maybe they split tips. You have no fucking idea. That could be a possibility.

Last one here, and we've got to wrap this up. Jermiel, one star. This establishment mistreated a veteran with PTSD. No. And does not. There's constant explosions in this place. Always. No, I don't know.

The light and black cats. Just shoot them at you, and you're like, Jesus. And does not understand or care about our cause. That's not good. They only want truckers and their money. It's a truck stop. So, yeah, that is the goal here. Huddle House took care of said veteran, has better food for less.

Except Dawn. She was very nice. The last sentence is my favorite of the whole show quote truckers treat her like a lady treat dawn like a lady but fuck alissa or no this is great samantha can eat dicks fuck kate if you got any extra painkillers, slip her to them. Slip them to her. That's amazing.

Next week, our personal item will be something if you maybe need a little bit more of a length on something that you possibly don't have. So we'll talk about that. Cock extender time and some bad cheese. That said, hope you enjoyed the show. Definitely follow us on social media. Join in. There's groups, too. They talk about it on Facebook and Instagram and shit.

So get in there and check them all out and keep hanging with us. Listen to Small Town Murder and Crime and Sports, too, if you like what we do. And we will definitely see you next week. Thank you so much, everybody. See you around. Treat her like a lady. Follow Your Stupid Opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.