Your Stupid Opinions - Mediocre Splendor, Jail Lessons, Grow Your Bubble Butt, Discount Luxury

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they laugh at reviews from people who are disappointed at the lack of roofs at Machu Picchu. A personal item that will have you looking like a Kardashian in no time. A jail that handles some of the drunkest drunks in Las Vegas. A discount luxury store that treats you like the enemy & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! How are you out there? Hope you're doing wonderful. Hope you're doing better than all of these poor people who apparently had awful experiences with everything this week. We will talk all about the highs and the lows of the internet and their reviews of everything.

We have some fun stuff this week. Before we get started, definitely follow on social media, check all that out. There's groups and everything like that. And of course, I say this every week, these are not our opinions. These are other people's opinions and because people do they, I've gotten messages saying, why did you say that? I go, I didn't say that. I read that. That's a big difference. Why'd you say that? Getting mad at an anchorman for, you know, 9-11 happening, like, hey listen, I'm sitting here. I'm nowhere near a plane.

No fucking plane for me. Peter Jennings, you son of a bitch. You, but dad rather, ah! So, trying to think of who was alive in working news in 2001. 9-11 killed Peter Jennings, cause he started smoking again because of it. Oh, that's right.

That's right. Yes, I remember that. So, on a less down note than that, let us go to our first place this week. We're going to go someplace historic, someplace that people go all the time as like a dream vacation. This is like one of those, one day I'll go see this. No, we're going to the historic sanctuary of Machu Picchu. Oh yeah, they do.

They do, and you've seen Machu Picchu, I'm sure. South America, yeah? Yeah, I'll turn to Peru, Peruvian. Golly, look at it. The mountains are insane and the stone structures, it's beautiful. So great. Fucking beautiful.

Is that a rainforest? It's tropical there, right? It is, but I don't know about here because it's up. So great. Fucking beautiful. Is that a rainforest? It's tropical there, right? It is, but I don't know about here because it's up in the mountains. Okay, all right. This is up in the mountains. The tropical forest, Jesus. Yeah, it's in the Andes.

Let's read the, see what it's all about. Machu Picchu is an Incan citadel set high in the Andes Mountains in Peru above the Arumbamba River Valley, built in the 15th century, so the 1400s, and later abandoned, and renowned for its sophisticated dry stone walls that fuse huge blocks without the use of mortar, intriguing buildings that play on astronomical alignments and panoramic views. Its exact former use remains a mystery they say so no one knows exactly

Incredible. Yeah, they don't know exactly why it was built like this. That's it. It's it's It's like Stonehenge. Like it's why is the Marvel it's incredible. It's incredible. It's in Peru and The elevation is almost 8,000 feet 79 72 So it's up there. And let's find out. Like I said, I've known people who have gone here and this is like a lot of people that's on their wish list

or bucket list or five places I gotta go before I die. So here's Zach giving it five stars. He loves it. The single most incredible monument I have ever visited. Absolutely breathtaking from the moment you arrive. Recommend doing serious research in advance in terms of guides, tours, et cetera, so you come super prepared.

And I'll show you some more pictures that this guy put up, because look at that. Holy shit. It's absolutely incredible, man. It's like- That's amazing that, and it was just abandoned. They walked away from that. They walked away from that. They built all this and walked away from it. It's like in the top of the mountains, they walked away from that they walked away from that they built all this and walked away from

It's like in the top of the mountains like you're in the peaks of them. It's so cool looking. It really is cool looking So here we go. Here is Gary gives it five stars What can I say about such an iconic place? Well get to fucking work care better I think you know well, what can you say? That's what the whole point of a review is. You tell us what you can say. That's why you're here, bud. He said that it lives up to the hype. That's what he can say. All right.

It's not just the history and the ruins, but the setting of mountains and light and air. It truly looks and feels like I've traveled to another world. The crowds, mostly tightly controlled, don't detract from the experience. So yeah, this is one of those places where you can't go and go, it's crowded.

Well yeah, stupid, everybody wants to go here from all over the world. The light. Yeah, it's one of those things. It's gonna be a little bit on the busy side. Next up, another five stars, this place needs no introduction. True.

True. If I know about it, it's very famous. We know it, and it's not even on the continent we live, so it's gotta be good. One of the wonders of the world. This was definitely worth a visit. We took the bus up to the place, and it takes less than 30 minutes. We took the bus to the place. Yeah, to that one place.

To that place. Sounds like they're buying drugs or something. I took the bus to the place, and I got my stuff. It's here. It takes less than 30 minutes to reach the top You can also probably hike till there and we saw a bunch of people doing that so you it's not probably it's definitely if you Saw people doing yeah I would say it's good to reach as early in the morning as possible to get ahead of the crowds and also to get the Great lighting check the weather beforehand. We were lucky to have absolutely clear weather,

which is incredible because then you can see forever probably. By the way, 78,000 reviews on Google. Good lord. 4.8 stars. That's a great place. It's pretty fucking good. You know, it needs to bitch about it. Yeah.

I'm interested in the light part. Like, the reviews keep mentioning the perfect lighting. Even in the daytime, right? Yeah, it's just weird. You're so high up, it's different. The light changes? Yeah, it's very strange. Here is one star. Insufficient tourist resources means extra egoisms for everyone. Egoisms? What a confusing sentence. Egoisms. Okay. Never seen anywhere else like this where people have such friction only to ensure nobody else in their ugly tourist photos by iPhone.

So apparently people are fighting egoisms. They're taking pictures and people are fighting to get people out of their pictures is what it is. Clear the way. I need everybody on Instagram to think I'm the only person here. That's what it is. It's just us at Machu Picchu. It's like when people take those fake pictures in private jets that they have.

There's companies in LA that just have private jets sitting on runways just to take pictures. And you can just go take pictures of it? Yeah, they go do, people pay shitloads of money to go do an Instagram thing. Here I am on my private jet when you're not, so. Never did that. Wow. No, I don't fucking care.

I wouldn't want you to think I was dumb enough to spend that much money on anything. It's 50 grand, right? You can't afford to go anywhere. Yeah, to go each direction. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah. Remember, we looked it up just to see what it was once, because you're here and all these

people are flying private. I'm like, how much is this costing these people? It's like 50 grand. It's like 50 grand to go across the country. That's a lot of fucking money. That means you've got to be going there for something way more than 50 grand. Otherwise, you're really fucking up the whole thing here.

It's like $900 to fly first class and these people only have 50 grand. 50 grand, how about 50 grand? Holy shit. This person continues, also why you even need a guide when nobody here could be more knowledgeable than chat, GPT and Wikipedia. Yeah, no one's more knowledgeable than AI and Wikipedia, which is famous for being wrong about everything. Yeah, I could write on there, I got a blowjob.

They've given out free blowjobs at Machu Picchu. At the top, yeah. We could write that, like, we know what it was used for. Guess what? The Yankins used it for this and that, and people would look it up and think that. Literally 90% of guides here only read their textbooks to the audience and would never consider, quote,

how should I bring a good experience to my customers by properly allocating time and pace? Wow, you really. Is he mad? Are they mad? I think they're mad, they gave one star. And then it says, bought the earliest ticket to capture morning fog shrouding the city

and our guide let at least 100 people past us when giving their illiterate, illiteralized lectures. Illiteralized, that's the word they use. Okay. Illiteralized lectures which nobody cares at all under a crowded bush where you can't see anything. I don't know, they're mad at the guide apparently. They't very on him. He's telling me things that aren't true I guess and he's doing it in the dark. He's not putting on enough of a show number one and they're letting people

pass them. I don't wear some fucking glitter to tell me. Let's show me. Yeah. Show me who where you are. Maybe he lost you in the fog. Maybe that's what happened. We don't know. One star very disappointed and unimpressed. Unimpressed? Okay. Unimpressed. Okay. There was no backhoe, you guys.

There was no caterpillar that did this. Let's see you drag stone to the top of a fucking mountain and build shit that aligns with astrological setups and all. You do that, asshole. I bet you can't put together IKEA furniture Before before you knew anything about the rest Why don't you fucking put the internet down and go track the stars and then build shit? That's the other thing build shit do all this without the internet TV the library anything and then build shit

Have a hundred year old man tell you some shit and then you build some shit based on that because that's probably what happened. Yeah unimpressed Disappointed could be one thing. I was expecting something. I got this but unimpressed fuck your mother. How's that? Seeing pictures I'm impressed. I'm impressed. Yeah, they try and hide the true story. They don't know it, that's why. Nobody knows it, dude. The site is very- It's not conspiracy. No, the site is very bare. If you only want pictures, then it's okay to visit.

If you want, what else can you do there? It's a fucking historic, you wanna live there? It's bare. You wanna live at the top of the Andes? You need a fucking In-N-Out burger built there? What are you doing? That is bare. If you want true history,

better off doing your own research. You're not, okay. Don't do that. You're going there to see it because it's beautiful. That's it. It's amazing. Don't do any research.

No. One star again, horrible experience. Horrible. The place is crawling with misbehaving tourists. I'll bet that's true. Yeah, that's true probably. Peruvians treated us like beggars Well, they don't want you there. Yeah, I'm sure they don't there's probably don't love having their They want to take your money get you in get you the fuck out next person

Anybody that lives in a tourist area hates every one of the people that come in even that though the whole economy is based On that they still hate the people, it doesn't matter. Yeah, without me, nothing happens here, but you need me here, but you don't want me here, because I'm annoying, and I get it. How do you think the people of Orlando feel about Disney traffic? Probably not great, you know what I mean?

Like, fuck you people, stop coming here. Flagstaff in the Grand Canyon, the whole city of New York hates all of you that show up. They just want to do their jobs and go home. Get away from Rockefeller Center. We don't care. Go. Fuck the tree.

Everything is two-tiered pricing, he says. Disgusting. Disgusting in places. What's the two tiers? Tourist and local, I guess? Probably. Yeah, probably if you're a... But that goes in for a lot of places.

Yeah, sure. Even Disneyland, if it's in-state, it's a cheaper price than if you're from out of state. That's how they do it. Here is another one, Star. As much as I liked the place, there were a lot of stuff which need to be improved. There were a lot of stuff which need. Which need. And by the way, there were were is actually they spell it where?

There were a lot of stuff which need to be improved which there's no improving this. This is what's here Yeah, you can't you know any ink ins because if you don't I don't think they're gonna Anyone's gonna fucking build a deck on to the back of this thing. I think it's historically Protected therefore there's no additions and no subtractions. It stays what it is. One of the most stupid things are, one of the most stupid things are, this tourist, this me, I'm one of the most stupid things. If you already went to a place in the temple, you need to go out of the temple and in again and considering the amount of steep stairs, even me, a 17 year old old found it hard to move around

the temple okay well your parents brought you so yeah you don't get to review shit I bet you didn't pay for any of this shit so shut up yeah there are no toilets inside either you need to get out back and back in oh they didn't have a fucking ensuite bathrooms back in so they didn't have the top of the Andes mountains you fucking idiot.

The people taking care of the place were kind of rude too. I spent like 500e, I don't know if that's euros, possibly to travel from where I was to get there and it was not worth it. Your parents money. Yeah I don't understand that that. All right, Renee one star Swiss prices with Peruvian services not recommended Jesus Christ One star from Sam absolute nightmare of a ticketing system Waited six hours in line. No bathroom water No bathroom. No water waiting in the rain It's like they found the 20 most dumb people in the world and put them in charge of ticketing.

Okay, but did you see us a 1400s amazingly built Incan crazy thing? Did you see architecture that's mortarless, you son of a bitch? The only bad review would be I got there and it wasn't there. Yeah. They'd have been taken away. Somebody dismantled it, it was washed away in a hurricane or something. All grown over. Yeah, all fucked out.

It's not there. Next up, MW1 star, just don't is the first sentence. This is not a recommended travel destination. I understand many people just want to spend two weeks of their boring enough life in a place they think would be cool and take a bunch of the same photos their neighbors, Instagram, or wannabe friend's dog also have. Holy shit, this person's an angry, angry son of a bitch. He got there and was like, Instagram ruined it.

Yes, oh my God. Which I mean, but the thing is, people probably beforehand, I don't think a lot of people went up there without cameras before even they were on phones. Everyone had a camera with them. This is the shit you wanna take a picture of, because it's incredible. Absolutely, yeah.

If that's you, then you'll fit right in with 500 other moms and pops with their cannon point and shoots. Sorry, we don't have like, you know, 35 millimeter Nikons from, I'm sorry I just spent 15 grand to be here. I'm taking pictures. So I never forget. This person's still angry. You will be fighting for a spot on the patio or on the Plato with 500 other

selfie duck faces, Lulu lemon yoga pants, and brim hats they just bought from the market at Aguas Calientes which also sell fluffy alpaca faces. Cool. Cool. Alright, cool. This is one of those people that's just too cool for everything. Yeah, you want to come here in your yoga pants and your your fucking cameras taking pictures. Yeah, cool, bro

All right, whatever all the trends are here. I'm sure they are. I'm sure they're everywhere Yeah, people the people with money to travel like this also buy lululemon They do point and shoes and when they have to walk miles up a mountain, they probably put comfortable pants on, I would assume. Probably spent a pretty good money, better money on comfortable shoes, pants. Yeah, a big hat. Wake up.

Here's the next, wake up. To the locals, you're nothing more than the 5,000 other money trees. Well, yeah, to any business, you're nothing more than that. Do you expect them to genuinely give a fuck about you at a tourist destination? To the Peruvian Tourism Board, you just happily hand over another $150

out of your already over budget Peruvian holiday. All these because maybe you watched some stupid Instagram influencer or YouTuber hyping everything they see. Or you know about amazing things in the world and you fucking read about it in an encyclopedia when you were six. Who the fuck knows? They act like no one ever heard of Machu Picchu before.

Instagram. There's seven wonders and it's one of them, right? It's one of them, yeah. There's seven, man. It's pretty amazing. Oh man, do your own research. I don't know know it's a wonder something it's one I think Andres eight

I think Andre the giant was eight so he was the yeah so there's only thousand no no Andre the giant is eight and then China was the ninth wonder of the world so yes the wrestler do your own research but you can't see and be there from the internet right just cuz I can google what it looks like doesn't mean I've been Do your own research. But you can't see and be there from the internet. Right.

Just because I can Google what it looks like doesn't mean I've been there. Yeah. Don't come to Machu Picchu because you saw a photo on your friend's feed or Google tell you it's a must-go location. It's not. Not a must-go. Francesca, one star, all the buildings had no roofs. I'm sure they did it one time.

You know it's 600 years old, right? Did anybody tell you that? Is that a- You don't think wood breaks down over 600 years or fucking leaves, whatever the fuck they had up there? I'm sure there was a roof. It rains like a son of a bitch here. And we couldn't find an office anywhere. Hmm, look at the fax machine at Machu Picchu.

The food was weird. Probably. It's Peruvian food probably, you're probably not used to it. And the llamas were just rude. You're looking for them to have manners? You need them to say please and thank you? This person likes, like, go to an attraction in like Dallas or something,

I think is what you're looking for You know what I mean? Like best of luck with America. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then it won't be the llamas that are rude. No Go to like Tampa, you know what I mean? Then you could say the roosters were rude One star it's really bad The flight stinks and so it's hard to go there. Wow. The traveling was bad. Okay. My buttocks hurt when I arrived. Well. My life is a motherfucker. They don't tell you where to come from either. You know what I mean? That's the other thing. That's on you. I don't know what you were

doing with your butt before this. Maybe take some layovers on that flight. Yeah, it smells over there. Well maybe that's doing with your butt before this. Yeah, maybe take some layovers on that flight. Yeah, it smells over there. Well, maybe that's coming from your butt. What'd you do to it? Again, that's where we're at here. That's possible. It's also a fucking moist climate.

That happens. I've never been to Florida and been like, smells delicious. It smells great out here. It always stinks. Yeah. Yeah, there's always some sort of moisture. Moisture makes smells linger. Absolutely.

The service is garbage. I don't know if they mean cell phone service or what. I did not like Not Worth It. All the other comments are just bots. Don't listen to them. Okay. All the comments that say it's so beautiful at Machu Picchu are clearly liars and just bots.

47,000 bots. Here's one star. This is great. I think they're talking about Peru in general. One thing they have in this dump and they milk the hell out of it. The Wobbler. Have you had the Ayahuasca? That shit's there too. They got a lot of stuff. They milk the shit out of that. You should take it and then go up there, you might like it better. You'll certainly have some fun.

Oh, yeah. You'll remember it. They even make you pay for the air you breathe. Oh, they don't. I don't know how that works. One star from Craig, boring place in a country that didn't qualify for the World Cup. Wouldn't recommend.

I know Craig has to be English, because only the English would talk like soccer shit while they were going talking about Machu Picchu. A fucking soccer hooligan reviewed Machu Picchu. Oh my god Xavier one star just a bunch of rocks. Probably yeah. Just a bunch of rocks yeah stacked together in building forms with no mortar amazing that's why.

Is he reviewing the earth because that's all this shit is too, man. It's just a bunch of rocks. Massive cash grab. Yeah, it's the earth he's reviewing. That's what it is. Yeah, I think that put it into perspective. Then one star, only mountain, nothing else to see. God damn it, man.

Imagine. Can you, holy shit. We're spoiled, man. We've got everything. We've got it all. Imagine, can you, holy shit. My last. We're spoiled man, we've got everything. We've got it all, the last three are my favorite. One star, food was terrible. That's all. Nothing about anything else.

One star again, it was sucky, I got attacked by a bird. Sucky. Again, I don't think they can keep the birds from attacking people. And then my favorite one of all, one star from Joe had to walk. Didn't like that shit. Okay. So we've been to a wonder of the world. Machu Picchu, had to walk.

Had to walk. Just a bunch of rocks, not worth the walk apparently. Oh, that's amazing. Unbelievable. Next up, we've been somewhere wonderful. Let's go someplace a little less majestic now. What do you say? Let's go, yeah, let's say you go to Vegas and you party it up and a lot of people have gone there and drank too much in a place that's easy to do that and they'll end up at the Clark County Detention Center, is what happens to you when that happens.

That is on 330 South Casino Center Boulevard, which makes it sound festive, doesn't it? It's so cool, they're like, we are tired of taking these motherfuckers downtown. It's amazing. Let's just put one right next to it all. The only jail with slots in the cells, it's the only one. I got the cells. It's the only one I

Got a rat dealer and lost three grand last night. It was terrible It has two point five stars on Yelp the Clark County Detention Center And apparently from one of the reviews they say the deputies ask you actually when you leave if you could give them a five-star Review on Yelp they ask you for one. No shit. Like if you went to like a small cupcake shop and they were like, we're just open, so if you could try to give us a five-star review on Yelp.

We're word of mouth business around here. Yeah, we'll do like three cupcakes, get a fourth free next time you come in with proof of a review, one of those type of things. So let's find out. They're doing it as a joke, right? They've got to be the deputies. It's got to be. I mean, they're saying it with a straight face. I mean, they might be kidding, but people are taking it seriously and they're reviewing on Yelp. Courtney gives one star or five stars.

Sorry, five stars. She's from Georgia, Courtney. So all these people are from somewhere else because this is like the strip jail. I had a family member who went here recently. No. No. You had a family member who was taken here recently. Went and was taken are very different things, I think. Your family member did not buy tickets here.

They were forced. I called multiple times and forming and I talked to multiple people and everyone I talked to Assisted me to the absolute best of their ability. That doesn't mean they did a good job That just means that the best of what they had to offer Any questions I had was answered and they even gave me knowledgeable information to assist my family member in their release as far as his Experience inside he can write a review member in their release. As far as his experience inside, he can write a review. That's his problem. I had a great time. But as for the customer service that Ambers, I guess Answers is what they're trying to say, answers general questions and gives information on inmates, I give five stars.

They helped me tremendously. I bailed them out without a problem. They might have stuck a lamp up my family member's ass, but they told me he was in there and told me what time I could pick him up. They released him ass naked with de-lousing powder all over him. I mean, that's okay. Well they do. They'll steal your underwear as we find out later on in these reviews. Oh yeah.

Shelby gives five stars. Although the terms weren't ideal. I got arrested. And the place smells like homeless asshole, which is very specific, that's a very specific asshole. You gotta have that reference to be able to use that reference. He's sniffing, you're not homeless, are ya? That's so familiar, huh?

Is this guy, maybe he's just like a Labrador, that's how he meets people I have to say the co nixle blonde bun and amazing eyelashes The gow parentheses yeah was definitely this was definitely the highlight of the experience spent at seed seed DC Although I didn't eat the food or drink didn't eat the food or drink the toilet water, I did have a great experience in booking with her. Her sense of humor and jokes made the stay a little less horrid. I'll never be back to visit, but I hope others enjoy

the booking experience. All I have to say is don't get close to Betty. It gets a little ashy around her." And then so I thought, you know, maybe she needs lotion, but then hashtag burnin' Betty. Burnin' Betty, so I think Betty's smokin'. Oh, okay. Ashy in terms of smoke ashes. Burnin' Betty, hashtag. Four stars from Feisty, and they're from Las Vegas.

Going to jail is never going to be an activity one willingly is eager to participate in. That's can't argue with that. It was a nightmare, of course, for all obvious reasons. That being said, that's a great way to transition the greatest segue from awful to, you know, I want to send a shout out to the day shift in the medical isolation area. Oh, day shift. Shout out to the day shift in the medical isolation area. Oh

Day shift shout out to the day shift. Yeah Right when they started in the morning and I saw and saw I was sitting there after another long night They followed through with a promise to get to the bottom of my release and I was out less than two hours later later Thank you B and B. My sanity lives another day Okay breakfast later. Thank you B and B. My sanity lives another day. Okay. B and breakfast? What did that? I mean maybe one was Betty. I think maybe one of the B's was Betty. Oh, Betty and Bun. The other one was Nixle, so I don't know. The Bun.

Oh man, that's pretty fucking funny. Okay, Dominic here, three stars. I've been here twice. Okay, well, you know what I mean? Stay out of Vegas, Dominic. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he's from Henderson. He can't help it. That's the problem. Oh, it's right down the road, yeah. I've been here twice. This isn't good. This is a great place to learn a lesson. You've learned two of them. You've learned, yeah, I was going to say, I don't think it is actually because you just said I've been here twice.

You don't learn, Tom. Takes a couple times to stick, but once you get it going. The entire place smells of feces. Excellent. Or homeless asshole is another person. There will be poop. At one point in booking, a bum pulled a spork out of his pocket. A spork, okay.

And itched between his toes since he couldn't use his hands due to the belly chain connected to handcuffs. He's a really resourceful guy. The officers walk around like they are the shit. Maybe that's why it smells so bad in there. Most of them are rude. Some are respectful. The food was amazing. Rice and beans. There was even a brownie on the tray. Rice and beans is amazing. Dominic, where do you live? Here's the cheapest protein we can give you. Amazing. Rice and beans with a brownie.

This will keep you alive. I'm only giving three stars because after being smacked across the face by another inmate and pressing the emergency button, the officers didn't come for 30 minutes, which is a real emergency. There is a lot of unsupervised time once booked. It's possible for you to be in there for speeding tickets and be in the same cell as someone who has committed a violent crime. Usually they don't like the offender that isn't going to be there long and they attack. Usually they're talking about the violent crime person. Officers unresponsive to signals of emergency. It's nice to get out and be downtown. Cheap eats right out

the door. The getaway is great. I'll tell you what, this guy gets out of jail and doesn't even go home first. He's like, who's up for the casino? You guys ready to go? Maybe we want an 899 buffet? Let's go. Yeah, where's the buffet? Let's hit it up, man. A man in there tried to stab me with a spork. But I mean, that's cool. I hit the emergency button, nobody minded. That's the crazier part. A man was able, he was shackled, James. Yes. Belly chain. And still had things in his pockets. They hadn't searched him.

They didn't take his spork away. They didn't take his spork away yet. He could have filed that shit down. Not contraband. And I'm wondering, did he put it in his hands or his mouth to scratch it between his toes? Yeah, that's a flexible fella. That was my question.

Sandra gives three stars, she's a Las Vegas local here. Well, this was my first time ever being incarcerated. Okay. So I was full of surprises. I was, I think she means it, but I was full of surprises from the bus full of hookers. Why were you surprised at that? Why were you in Nashville? Yeah. Well, if you Vegas is the prostitution capital of America. So I don't get why you were surprised by this. Yeah. Jesus Christ. And she's calling it incarcerated. You're in jail. You're in jail quickly. Stop trying to get street cred out of incarcerated. We're not giving it to you, Sandra. Listen, Sandy, it ain't happening. You spent 24 hours, stop it. To the water coming from the attached toilet.

The food was beyond disgusting. Yeah, the bread was soft, but it smelled like dirt, old dirty cat piss. What? Which is much worse than regular fresh cat piss. Yeah, fresh clean cat piss. That's, that's, ah my that's culinary that shit. But the reason I'm leaving my review is to speak up for the officers on staff.

They were all completely nice to me and accommodating to their limit. And that accommodating to their limit, I believe in parentheses, she says, gave me pants, which is accommodating to their limit. We can give you pants. LOL, but not one cop or staff came off as rude, only simply doing their job. I had complete curiosity of jail, like, yeah, I can only go, I can only hear so many stories. Experiencing it firsthand was definitely different. So yeah, maybe next time try being polite and quiet and understanding of where the whole staff come from seeing drunk

Drunks addicts prostitutes and much more every single shift at their second home. The staff does not control food quality or set up the jail It's their job to let it's their job lighten up Right, and this is a very understanding woman because she showed up to jail without pants without as good The end of it was, where were her pants? I expected at some point an explanation of why she went to jail pantsless. That's what I expected. Why'd you go to jail with your ass out? When she ended it, I was just scratching my head like, what about your pants?

Why were you having no pants on? Why's your pussy out? Why's your pussy out? That's weird as fuck. I mean, I get it's Vegas, but maybe that's why you were getting, maybe that's why she was put in jail. Perhaps, it's possible.

No pants. That's certainly illegal. I don't think it's legal, yeah. Alison, two stars, the visitation area is so dirty. I understand it's a jail, but how could the workers be content working in a place like this? I think the cleanliness of the visitation room is probably secondary to having to like check in criminals probably would be worse.

Yeah, and they're probably content with this because this is where they're at. Yeah, I don't think they're content by the way. Likely not. They're probably hoping for a leg up somewhere to get out of this. I would honestly and seriously hope to God that your mission in life wasn't to become a fucking jailer at the Vegas office. Yeah, Jesus Christ. They are mostly nice, even if they cannot answer simple questions without sending you all over town.

But then again, they are protected in a little circular tube. So maybe they don't see how filthy it is. Yeah, it's clean in there. It's like a biosphere probably in there. Well, desert area. They say like those old bank shoots, like the one of those. And it comes out with the air. You monsters stay out there with the filth. Overall, the lack of care shown to the jail maintenance alone is the

same lack of care they show to inmates. Right. And then there's someone here, Just M is the name, and they're saying that they don't like the staff so much, whereas other people did. Here we go, one star. The employees here are the real criminals and should be seriously investigated by federal authorities. My jewelry was stolen by their employees. When I complained, I was denied access to my cell phone and thrown into a detox cell. Yes, because you were shit-faced. You just answered your own question.

When I complained? You came in shit-faced and was like, I want my phone. And they were like, you can't have your phone. Get in there. You're in jail. I'm calling the mayor about this. I'm calling my senator tomorrow Right now I bet they're awake hold on They're gonna care about get me my lawyer. What's their name? You ever assigned?

They said I could have it though They said I'd get a lawyer and a phone call. I want my phone call. And pants. I get pants. The floor was full of puke and urine, and they take away your shoes, seemingly just to humiliate you.

Probably. Well, they take them away because you can, A, hang yourself with the shoelaces. The shoelaces. Or women's shoes are a weapon, right? Yeah, I like you can hurt somebody. I have absolutely hammered in a nail with a fucking heel before it was like a Short heel I've done that it works Take your shoe off sweetheart. Hold on. I gotta you get slides in here Yeah with it. So apparently theft by jail employees is a common thing as I was told by several working girls

So the prostitutes in there one had her jewelry stolen several months before Another one saw staff putting her jewelry in the wrong bag and had to complain several times until they finally put it with her belongings The temperature is adjusted to please 350 pound bodybuilders. For the rest of you, they'll freeze you to death but refuse to provide proper clothing or a blanket. It's too cold. I don't have enough air. Too cold in there.

Yeah. I was denied so many civil rights, I don't even know where to begin. Lies and lies, refusing to let you see medical professionals, staff laughing at you and the grand finale, they threw away my underwear saying quote they'll go for donation. Maybe they were gross. I don't want your used detox underwear. Who's getting those donated to them? Maybe they shit their pants or something. I was just going to say, you probably shit yourself and didn't realize it. If you just wanted your phone. They probably threw them away because they don't launder your clothing.

Oh my God. Please have some TV channel or serious newspaper investigate the unlawfulness behavior, unlawfulness behavior of this place. Yeah, okay. Dreya one star. That's how they're going to get their activism handled? Post a review and say somebody please investigate. Okay. Five on your side is going to handle it. Don't worry about it.

Call a lawyer. Pay a lawyer. Fuck. Dreya one star. One of them female officers checking me in snatched my wig off and stole my ring. I hate when that happens. That's my number one complaint about jail. Snatched my wig off.

Snatched my wig off, man. And stole my ring. You probably can't have a wig in jail, huh? I don't think you can, and you definitely can't have jewelry. That's a ring? Yeah. That's a weapon now. You'll hurt somebody, yeah yeah took it off my finger and stuck it right in her back

pocket I never saw it again oh I actually believe they deserve no stars which is the funnier way of saying if I could give it no stars I would that's amazing. Ha ha ha. That's awesome. They deserve to star on their chest. Oh my god. Okay Meg one star this one's a little lengthy. I had the unfortunate luck of having to stay at the CCDC for some time. Yeah first time being in trouble and my crime was refusing to snitch which is conspiracy., you were involved in a crime and wouldn't tell on people. Crime is not refusal to snitch. No.

Which is conspiracy. No, that would be obstructing justice if you did that. Conspiracy is being involved in a conspiracy. And they offered you to get out of it if you tell on people and you said no. So now you're in jail. That's what happens. You conspired to commit crimes, man.

That's fucking wild. While I was there I witnessed a male officer throw a pregnant girl around the pod because she had an extra pillow. Jesus. Which was obviously given to her by the nurse for having a belly. The moron couldn't see. After he was finished holding her with force against the wall and screaming in her face, she was finally able to cry out the words, I'm pregnant, the

nurse gave me the pillow. We all watched in horror. I also experienced a man dying during breakfast because he choked to death and none of the COs got up to help him. He died there. He choked to death. How about you? You know the Heimlich? What the fuck are we doing here? Scream man would that be considered assault on an inmate? I'm looking them. I don't know Before I was housed I was booking in booking for four days I went to court with this poor girl wearing a dress on her period She asked the CEO for a pad for two days with no luck when we made it to court

She had blood dripping down her legs and there was blood all over so bad the CO for a pad for two days with no luck. When we made it to court she had blood dripping down her legs and there was blood all over so bad the judge got extremely upset and yelled at one of the COs to go help her get cleaned up. Yeah that's not you can't do that. You can't do that? No that's that's not human conditions. Two days in a dress just dripping? Golly man. That's fucking gross man. I was in booking cell with about 16 other people when the room was meant for six or seven Jesus Christ that is wild. I have half a mind to call news channels about the abuse and neglect They really think that's gonna work

Luckily, I know of about 200 people already on top of that mission It's 200 other people who got arrested that they won't listen to. Also, the people at work and visitation will cancel your visit for looking in the wrong direction if you are a former inmate. Okay. Oh, so you've been there a while. You've been trouble, that's why. Oh my God, that's, wow. The thing about most businesses when you review them and people get bad reviews, the answer is don't go there. But these people just keep coming back here they keep coming back there's lessons learned you know what I mean this is fucking

good too one star I only went to take care of a traffic ticket oh and got thrown yeah they gave me a uniform and kept me for two days oh no but I just debit card in his hand the whole time he's like wait what no but I'm they're like no no in the cell with the period girl there you go put those on The food was not the best and there's no coffee with the food they give you it's no wonder the other patrons are pet patrons They're not patrons these are not This person definitely is used to go to The other customers, terrible customer service here, are passing some raunchy gas all day and night, so it's just fart central in there. There's beans and rice being served, man, of course.

Is why it smells like a bum's asshole, as the person said before. The servers wear police uniforms and they're really tough on visitors, because they're not servers. They're fucking... Those are police, man. And they're really tough on visitors because they're not servers. They're fucking The other people there aren't patrons or customers and the people bringing you your food are not servers, okay That's amazing So strange avoid this place if you can that goes for all jails as a tip from that's just from James and Jimmy little tip We already knew that I think so at least they gave me a payment plan to take care of my ticket when I finally got out

Unbelievable. Oh my god, this poor bastard shouldn't have experiences. I'm walking in saying I'm guilty. I'll pay the fine They're like no you're staying a few days. Yeah. Well, he didn't have the money I think is what it was he went and said how do I take care of this and they're like well you come to jail for two Days, and then we're gonna set you up with a payment plan. That's fucked up But he was trying to get it It's not like he got pulled over it to in the morning like he's fucking coming there to do it Okay, last one one star. This is maybe my favorite line of any review we've ever had, I've been in jails and prisons all over the world.

What? Fantastic. I'm bragging about that. And I can tell you that CCDC is truly on the same level as jail in a third world nation. Why were you in jail in a third world nation? What were you doing? You're lucky to be alive. Did they do something at Machu Picchu

they shouldn't have done? What's happening? Filthy, inedible food, hostile staff, not enough support personnel, and the 1980s phone system makes you stay two to three times as long as it would be elsewhere. Poor classification system results in high amount of assaults.

That's probably true, because they said they put you in. They just put everybody in together because you're all housed short term. None of the jail, no one's there for long term. That's the thing. No one's going to be there for longer than a year. That's prison. Yeah. So there we go. We've been to jail. Oh my God. We've been to a beautiful place. We've been to a gross place. The worst place Yeah, now let's go to a place that wants to be beautiful and is using the name of a place that has some cache But is also not that great. We're going to Saks off 5th. Oh Yes, all the shit that didn't sell at Saks Avenue Yeah, Ross. Yeah, the Ross Ross of Sax is what this is. TJ Sax is what it is.

TJ Sax, Fifth Avenue, TJ Sax. That's the one. Oh boy. This has 3.9 stars out of 1.3 thousand stars, so 1300 reviews. It's in New York and it says, it is, their description anyway, department store chain for deals on designer apparel, shoes and accessories, plus home goods and more. Yeah, it's the worst shit that Perry Ellis makes.

Yeah, and we've been here, I've been to this place, and it's not good. It feels like a piece of shit. They have mainly underwear. They had like- Yeah, it's a lot of underwear. The whole fucking center of the place was these big islands of underwear.

And I'm like, they must not sell underwear at that store. Because I was looking for jackets. Not moving a whole lot, yeah. They had like three jackets in the corner, but fucking underwear was as far as the eye could see, man. They should call it Victoria's Sax. Victoria's Sax Saxrit. So 125 East 57th Street in New York City here in Manhattan. First up, five stars. There are a lot of brand names to choose from

such as bags, shoes, clothes, especially shoes on the eighth floor. Spent several hours here. Eight floors? Oh yeah this is huge this place. My Christ. There was one review where someone talked about getting trapped on the first floor and they couldn't get up to the other floors and they were all depressed. Shoes discounted 30 to 40 percent. Very impressive. Yeah. Not bad. Here's the five stars from Alex. Hands down some of the best deals in the city Especially if you know what you're looking for my friend got Valentino purses for $250 each

Wow, they are always running sales and promos definitely a spot to check out not a lot of people know about it And it seems like new inventory comes through every week. Everybody knows about Everybody knows about a blow your mind man doesn't know? Everybody knows about it. I'm gonna blow your mind, man. There's also a Nordstrom rack. There's a rack here, it's wild. Did you know that? Oh my God.

It's incredible. It's the same shit. It's fucking incredible. This person's never been to an outlet mall and they're heard of one in their life. Also, Valentino, they're charging more than $250 for slippers? Oh yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Valentino, they're charging more than $250 for slippers? Oh yeah, yeah. What the fuck?

At regular Saks, everything is insanely expensive. $800 slippers? Insanely expensive, yeah. And when they say slippers, do they mean like house shoes or like flip flops? It could be either, huh? Could be either. I don't know. That's between us.

$250. That's between Saks and the reviewer and their lord. I have no idea. That's a lot. $250. That's between Sachs and the reviewer and their lord. I have no idea. That's a lot. I don't understand. I'll never, even if I had, you know what I mean, if we ever make it rich, rich, I'm not gonna be rich, rich.

I wanna always be shocked by $250 slippers. That's crazy. Well yeah, that's, slippers can't be, there's not, it can't be that much of a difference between $250 and say $4 slippers. They're probably very similar. Some fucking deer foams? I'm fine.

Yeah, you got it CVS or something. So next up, two stars, prices are fine. But an old Afro-American lady had an attitude. An old Afro-American lady had an attitude. You're in fucking New York, man. I was gonna say How many old black ladies have you ever met because a lot of them have an attitude and that's kind of what's fun and good And that's the charm of an old black lady is yes lived some life and has

I mean, I like an I like an older lady with attitude of any color. It doesn't fucking matter But I bought lozenges at CVS the other day and the old black lady helping me check out was telling me about how her, I asked her how her day was. She said, my husband died two years ago and I lived with him for 45, I am living my life now. I was like, oh my God. Well, the funny thing is you just asked how's your day going. So how many times a day does she tell that story? For two years that's all she's talked about.

And now my life is getting good. That's her answer. Wow. I bought two glasses from Christian Dior and would buy even more but was afraid to ask her because she was so rude. Literally said don't come to me again when you need help. There's shit out here. Yeah, I'm not doing it. I helped you enough. Mark One Star took my wife to 57th Street Store for the first time. Uh oh.

You know, she doesn't move around very well on her own. You know, she can't, I took her there. Like she's a child. Our day trip was to Saks off Fifth Avenue. Oh, off Fifth. Hey, I said, we're going to sex, baby. Let's go. And she jumped up, got dressed, she was ready, and then I'm going, they're like, hey, we're not on Fifth. We're not on Fifth Avenue.

Where is this? And he goes, off Fifth. Come on. Tonight, we're going to go to a Broadway show, too. In Chicago. Off Broadway. It was not going to be an actual Broadway show. Off Broadway. That's what we do. In Queens. Off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off- she's pushed into completing an online survey right in front of the employee, told to write

the employee's name in the comments, and told to show the employee the last page confirming the survey was completed. Wow. My wife complied or thought she'd never get out of the store. What a horrible experience. Oh my God. Can you give us an answer on the survey? Sure.

I'm not leaving your side until you finish. I'm not. Here, take that. And that, you haven't even run her card yet. They're like, there you go. You have to complete the survey before you run the card. Show me it's done. Show me it's done.

Oh man. One star from Sam. There is a woman at Hugo Boss there. She is a thief. Oh. And stolen from us. What'd she take? She, well she not only stole from us, but she completed fraud on our Amex account.

Okay, that's stealing from you, go on. This is not over until she is arrested. Oh, Jesus. Because he wants his money back. He wants to see her in the Clark County Detention Center. That's the only thing that's going to work for her until she's complaining about Bum's assholes. We were told we ordered a coat from Hugo Boss in the store.

Then days later we find out the woman put in an order of a woman's shoes. Soon as we called the store manager, she started texting us from her personal number saying how she overnighted it yesterday. Oh. We will be pressing charges. I hope she rots in prison for fraud

Maybe she rang up wrong thing on accident. Jesus. Whoa rots in prison is strong for Me from her personal number fuck me. That is like these people want blood. They want to really get There they're cheap people. They're people with no money that want the things that rich people Yeah, they're going in there for discounts right away. I'm gonna get some shit from sex. Oh, Valerie One Star. I wish I could give a zero star review to this place. The manager, whose name is Bowman,

is the most sassy, rude person ever. Isn't sassy usually kind of good? Like. Or are you like trying to say this flamboyant gay man without saying. I was just gonna say, I said isn't that kind of good or do you mean gay is what I'm getting at. Yeah.

Which is the same thing. In fashion, if you don't have a gay man helping you out, you're fucking up, bud. Yeah, yeah. If you're a straight man and you really want to like draw women's dresses, you better pretend to be super fucking gay around them or they're not wearing it. No one will wear shit that you drew.

Sorry. I mean, get a boyfriend, really fucking lay it on or no one's gonna buy it. You better live the lifestyle, man. Yeah, I've been a Saks Rewards customer for almost five years now and never was disappointed with quality. I even worked at Saks off 4th in Stamford and we had a beta team.

I bought a cashmere sweater here on December 12th and hand washed it following instructions. Somehow the material ripped and I hoped the store could exchange me for proper quality sweater or something but instead of even being empathetic Bauman gave me the most sassy attitude ever. One that no customer service worker should ever give a customer. Not only was he not helpful, yeah you only describe a man as sassy if you feel like he has cock breath. That's the only time you do that.

And he probably said some shit like, do you machine wash this, you dumb bitch? You dumb twat, yeah. Not only was he not helpful, but he tried to make me feel dumb and belittle me by saying, well, if it was not the right quality, then you would not have bought it. It wouldn't have been bought.

It wouldn't have been bought, it would you. I don't know what that means. It wouldn't have bought, it would, oh, you wouldn't have bought it would, that's what they're trying to say. Trying to say, then you would not have bought it would you. I don't know what that means. It wouldn't have bought it would, oh you wouldn't have bought it would, that's what they're trying to say. Trying to say, then you would not have bought it and it wouldn't have been bought would you. That still doesn't make sense, but.

No, it doesn't. Yeah, she got lost in her own remembrance there. What it bought, I bought it would you. Da da da da, I lost my whole fucking thread here. I was shocked and disappointed with the treatment, not only as an employee, but as a supervisor that should be setting an example to a staff. I think that's the example he's setting.

Be sassy, treat these people like assholes. They're good people that are shopping on FitBab. Yeah, these people are trash, okay? They just want a discount. When they come in, just tell them, just you just, you go right to, go to Ross. I'm sorry, Ross is for you. Good dress for the last money. These people have fleas, all of them, there's fleas, they're covered in ticks and things

from the street. They're street people, really, is are. It's just street people. So don't bother. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, that is really amazing. If you do go here, make sure you do. By the way, I'm on his side by the way. I am too, I love him already.

I'm not making fun of him, I'm making fun of her and what her thought is. So he should have went extra squishy. Tell these motherfuckers to follow their dreams and they don't have to deal with cheap shit. Oh man, um, company and store. Oh, that's who he's, oh, if you do go here, make sure you don't have to deal with him because he clearly is ruining the reputation for the whole company and store. Oh, it's all Bowman.

Even Saxx Onfiff is gonna go under because of Bauman. Little sassy. If I was corporate I would fire him because I am sure I'm not the first person who he showed attitude to. That's actually the only person who mentions him so he can't be that bad. Maybe you're kind of a bitch. You ever think of that? Maybe he sensed it and he knew.

Vanessa, one star. The sales associate, Cheryl, has a nasty attitude when dealing with customers. I was trying to make a return because the item was too small. As I was trying to initiate the return, Cheryl started berating me for giving her the order number first instead of the item first. This senile woman needs to calm down and consider working in the back storage closet. The sacks back storage closet is that storage in historic instead of the cash register. It's fascinating how these people take like you know exactly who they're talking about. We walked in there we could just Cheryl that's the old bitch

right there. We know Cheryl. Oh we know Cheryl. You know she's an elderly woman and Bowman you know he's a gay man. It's fascinating. Coded language. They find the word to insult. You wanted to say homo when you came out with sassy. That's what it was. Be honest.

That's what it is. Next up we'll do the last one here. One star because we've got to get to the personal item. Quote, oh boy, I ordered a Versace belt and Gucci jewelry because you know I wanted to look like I can afford a Versace belt and Gucci jewelry. And neither item came packaged yeah you're not getting the boxes and shit for that spray. You're getting it in a loose bag babe. Yeah they sold those to people who are selling phonies down on fucking Chinatown and shit. They sold those boxes.

They sold you this because it was returned to the place on 5th and the person with money bought it and used it and didn't like it. Didn't like it. So you get it at a discount. The items were in a plastic bag with a knot tied on the end like it was a bologna sandwich. Like you just bought some weed in 1994. What the fuck happened? Makes it feel fake, doesn't it? Oh God, a baloney fucking sandwich.

That's amazing. Holy shit. I spoke with a manager named Dan. Dan acted very racist. So less gay and more racist, okay. Instead of taking accountability for Saks mistakes, he said I was being argumentative Dan acted very racist. So less gay and more racist, okay. Instead of taking accountability for sex mistakes, he said I was being argumentative because I'm black.

Did he say, did he say you're being argumentative because you're black or did he say you're being argumentative and then you said because I'm black? I don't know what, and I'd like to know, and punctuation more would help. I'd like to talk to this person and know if because if they said that you're being argumentative because you're black. That's a crazy thing to say in customer service. That's horrific. That's a lot.

That's really, really bad here. Yeah, we'll make that the last one here. The one star one one star was elevator out escalator malfunctioning had knee surgery and got stuck in the lowest level Oh just stuck down there watching the escalator go and not doing it in the basement I'll give this one to why not one star. I will recommend it to my ex-wife Wow that said I think it's time everybody to get a little bit personal with an item that you actually might be able to get at Saks,

I'm not sure. Yeah, recommend it to your ex-wife? Possible, well you might if you don't like her ass with our personal item of the week, which is, and I didn't mean that because it's a giant thing that goes in your ass, it's a giant thing that goes on your ass. Oh, what is this?

I'll show you a picture of it. Looks like a looksie. They are butt implant, they're butt inserts that go into your ass. I'll show you a picture of it. They are butt implant, they're butt inserts that go into your pants. It's an at home BBL. It's a butt pad. Yes, it's exactly what it is. And it's a butt pad and you stuff them into your pants

and it's ridiculously huge. This is on a really white woman in the picture and it looks ridiculous. Obviously that's not your ass, sweetheart. Come on. There isn't a Caucasian gal with one like that. Stop it. No, no, no.

So this is Pop Closets, women butt lifter, padded lace shapewear, thicker butt enhancer, control panties, seamless fake buttock underwear. Okay. Wow. It's a whole underwear? Whole, yeah, it's like a whole thing there, buttock underwear. Okay. Wow. It's a whole underwear? Yeah, it's like a whole thing there, but you stuff the pads in.

$45.99, so $46 for a huge ass, which is way less than a surgery. Yeah, but that's way more than dildos. It should be, yeah. There's so many other things that we've, that cock cage was like $7.99, wasn't it? That was cheap. Remember that whole bondage kit that was like $20 for like a whole, it smells like a kid's

like a fireman outfit they'd get and it comes with like a tiny axe and like shit like that. You can subdue your whole partner with that kit and this thing just gives you an ass. That's it and well about this item. Are you still wearing button hip padded underwear that only has small pads, poor butt lifting effect and also isn't seamless? Are you Jimmy? I am. Me too.

I know I am. I'm sitting way up high right now though. Just try Pop Closet's upgraded butt lifter shorts. The hip pads of our butt enhancer underwear have been upgraded to be wider and thicker covering a diameter of 26 centimeters and a thickness of 4.5 centimeters. Wow. Fully covering your booty. Suitable for any butt's shape and brings you a super butt lifting effect. Any butt? Come on. I've just saw that. There are a lot of wide asses that that's

going to look ridiculous on. It's going to look like two cherries sitting on top of two fucking cakes. That's what it's going to look like. It's going to look like your ass has an ass. Yeah. It'll look like you build a house in the plains. That's what it's going to look like in the middle of a fucking desert. In the middle of a field. Why is your ass surrounded by three acres? Three acres of wheat farm. What's happening right now? Tea gives it five star. A must buy.

Now. Right now. Because tea's got a tiny narrow ass. Well that's what they say. If Jesus forgot to bless you in the derriere area then this is for you four exclamation points by the way It looks natural feels fantastic Absolutely loved this my husband keeps asking if I had quote the surgery Your husband wouldn't notice if someone cut your ass open

Where the fuck is he? You get surgery your ass looks pretty... Yeah honey, I got surgery. He keeps asking. He keeps asking, you sure you didn't get surgery? I don't know, did you show up on our fucking medical bills at all? You getting anything coming to the house? You dumb fuck, we're married.

Last week your ass has been looking real good. It's just good. And then they say, it's that good. I'm 5'4", 150 pounds, ordered a medium. I could have gotten a small for a more snug fit, but this one is phenomenal. The medium does ride up a bit. I guess up your ass is what they're saying. Maybe in the near future I'll grab the small and note the difference.

Next up, realistic for Monica. Is it really? These really work if you have lost weight and your booty along with it They give you real curves under jeans or sweats. You'd never suspect. It's padding I recommend I recommend nothing for the fact that women are liars. Yeah, that's liars completely It's one thing to be like we understand that tits are not as advertised. Every male that's ever opened a bra up and realized, oh god, those are great, they're still great but they're not.

Oh, I still suck them. Yeah. You can make them look like anything you want. You can push them up, you can smash them in, you can fucking stretch them out, you can make them look however you want them. So we have no idea what's in there. Sometimes tits look huge and then you get a bra and then they're tiny and you're like, how'd you do that? That's magical Fucking they're still great. But magical that's magic. This is crazy. That's is different

You open both and both packages you get the goat. That's no good expect an ass to be what it is. You know what I mean? So it's weird. All right, five stars from Hannah. Wow is her title. So I already have a bubble butt. What the fuck are you doing? In parentheses, Kylie Jenner type. You bitch. Why would you do this? But wanted to add a little extra,

and let me tell you, with this I now have Kim Kardashian ass, and then in parentheses when her butt was really big. Okay. See you know back then. I wasn't initially going for the Kim look I just wanted to be a just wanted a little accentuating. If you want more natural than this one isn't for you.

Trust me. I personally am only wearing this with t-shirts because my waist is so small. So my waist is so tiny and I have a naturally fat ass. You know how it goes. I just want to, in a t-shirt, let the t-shirt rest on this giant ass and drive people mad. Yeah, this giant ass and you know, I got to deal with my giant perfectly perky tits after that as well and I have to figure out a place to put my greatest blowjob champion trophy as well on my mantle because I don't know where to put my greatest blowjob champion trophy as well on my mantle

because I don't know where to put it. This is silly. Because my waist is so small the t-shirt and jeans or leggings look like Kim Kardashian but if I wore a fitted top it would look crazy big like I don't know. I wear a more natural one I order on Amazon with fitted tops so it's okay. I just wear this one with bigger tops. Also note, if you have a complete flat booty or really small one, this probably is for you. If you have a bubble butt or bigger booty

and you want natural, this isn't for you. If you have a bigger booty and want crazy big butt, then this is for you. I hope her teeth are fucked up. Yeah, because the rest of her is, you know what, we wouldn't even care is the thing though. No, I'm still going. Tits and ass and all that, we're like, yeah, who cares?

She likes me, we're hanging out. We don't give a shit. Four stars, not too bad. Okay, it's all right. This definitely made my butt bigger and rounder, and then made my butt almost too big for my liking and they are fairly comfortable If my husband touches my backside he can definitely tell they are fake because they don't have the right feel or natural skin Yeah, because it's not an ass

Polyester and silicone. Yeah, they'll totally tell But if someone is just looking they can't tell it's real or it isn't real I haven't worn them for an extended period of time So i'm not sure what the comfort level is after about an hour or so I just got them for special occasions to enhance myself a little All right, then next one four stars. I got a but two exclamation points, yeah Probably too much padding as I suffer from no ass at all

So it's highly noticeable. But going around people who don't know me is quite amusing with all the heads I turn. It's comfortable to wear and doesn't cause chase chafing, but they say chasing. That's good. No one chases you. Or sweat. Next up, four stars, Big Booty Faux Show. Yeah. F-O-S-H-O. I received these in nude, that is the color by the way. In small, they fit nice but the waist is pretty tight, the remainder is good. I'm 5'6", 135.6 and wear a 6'8", depending on the garment. I am used to basically a flat butt as I am basically sedentary due to back issues. Just got some spread going on.

What's cool about these pads is rather than carrying a padded seat with me, these booty pads actually help a lot plus my clothes fit better. She's like, I can go to like college football games and just sit right on the bleachers, it's no problem. These are like a decorative hemorrhoid circle. This is great, yeah, these are fantastic. Or like one of those plain neck things. These are awesome

Next up here Tracy two stars don't do it. No title I loved the idea but the product did not deliver Definitely looks like a gag gift. All I could do is laugh. That's the foot when I saw the picture I was like fuck out of here with that. That's ridiculous. It does look natural, it does not look natural, looks like two balloons back there, yes it does. She's probably got one of those sloppy asses that you just, you can't fix that with this, no. It's not, it doesn't work, you can't fix it with anything,

that's just nature, sorry. It's just the way it works. Work on your personality and that's, what do you do? I don't know what to tell you. Plenty of girls with dumpy asses, it's fine. Who cares, we don't care, that's how little we care, we don't know what to tell you. Plenty of girls with dumpy asses. It's fine. Who cares? We don't care. That's how little we care. We don't care. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

One star, so fake looking. Three exclamation points. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. Reviews seemed alright, so I thought let's give it a try. I bought a lot of cute dresses for this summer and wanted tummy support with a little extra booty. Bad choice. I'm returning this ASAP. It's so fake and huge looking, it ain't cute at all. It ain't cute at all. Okay, here we go. One star from Sylvia looks really bad on and obviously that it's fake.

Right. I did so much research on these things and was so disappointed as a lot of reviewers said this item was good. The pads were lumpy, separated on one cheek, insert, while the other one was okay. It didn't look natural or flattering. Well, no, if one's over on your hip and the other one's on your ass, that doesn't look too natural.

Tried it on for the boyfriend and he literally begged me to return it. Don't I can't you look you look this is embarrassing. You look terrible for this price. The quality really should be better. Yeah, that's true. Probably right. It's almost $50. What the fuck? Yeah, guess I'll go put some work in at the gym and get the real deal.

That's the first person who said the answer. Yeah, maybe I'll make this happen myself. Some people though. You just you're never going to have an ass no matter what you do. It's there's genetics are a motherfucker and sometimes that's like just got a terrible ass. Yeah, maybe I'll make this happen myself some people though. You just you're never gonna have an ass no matter what you do Genetics are a motherfucker and sometimes I just got a terrible ass. That's just yeah Jimmy's never gonna be six foot two and I'm never gonna be fucking five foot eight and you are gonna fucking Not have a big ass. It's just always gonna wear jeans that are that I've got a walk an inch off of them Next up k1 star that I've got to walk an inch off of them. That's the way it is.

Next up, K1 star, Whittle Bump, Whittle Rump. Whittle with a W. And two D's, not D's. Okay, I'm joining forces with another reviewer whom I really hoped was wrong. This product isn't bad. So far as I can tell, it's the best option for this purpose. But it's not great either. I bought this hoping for an all caps big butt. Yeah, she wanted to she wanted this to fix me. And instead I got a whittle bump in the rump. Yeah. These things are enormous, by the way.

But they're but they're they're not like on our social media. It's no they're just giant giant round. Yeah. Yeah, they look like your ass is inflatable is what it looks like. The padding could be so much better. All caps with periods after each word. They already have the design, so why don't they sell the product women want to buy? Well, because a man made it.

That's what I was gonna say. A man just said, I'd love a chick's ass to look like this, right? Yeah, that'd be good Yeah, stick that in it likely accentuates and already But bulbous, you know, I mean there's a little bump and then they put these on it and it fills it out That's all it is. Yeah, exactly. It's not to fix a mess. Okay, you can't yeah some things you can't fix No, you can't fix it one star unrealistic can't fix. No, you can't fix it. One star unrealistic. Hard as a damn brick. It's just shoulder pads for your butt. Oh no. That kind of makes sense here. Yeah, that's good. And

then finally my last one and this one has nothing to do with whether they're too big or too small or it's just a it's definitely a complaint. One star and it says horrible. I received two left sides It should have been right and left definitely not happy so this person's gonna go around with two ass cheeks like Pointing in the same direction not fucking correct Amazing do you buy them from Nordstrom off Fucking sacks off Fifth Avenue. That's how you get two laps. Would you like to dance? No, I have two left cheeks.

You mean two left feet? No, I mean two left cheeks. I don't want to get out there. It's embarrassing looking. It looks terrible. I don't want anybody to see it. I gotta keep sitting on it. I can't display it.

It is very comfortable though to sit on over here on the side of the dance floor. It's not bad. It's a little bounce. So there you go everybody, two left cheeks. That is the personal item of the week and that's your stupid opinions for this week. If you like the show, please get on whatever app you're listening on and give us a review, give us five stars. Don't try to be funny, it doesn't help the show.

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