Your Stupid Opinions - Ms Poo Hands, Car Towing Conspiracy, Walmart Marinara

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

More of the craziest reviews on the internet! We find out about towing company that people say has a conspiracy, involving the police & others. A Chinese restaurant that may have less than hygienic standards, including a "poo hands" policy. A tomato sauce that may be moldy, and tastes more like tomato water. A very personal item that you shouldn't eat, but people seem to eat, anyway & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there, my name is James Petragallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. We are thrilled to bring you more of people's problems, grievances, and also praises. First five star reviews. Sometimes they're happy.

We put a couple in for balance, you know, it's not everything, it's not all bad. Plus when you say, when someone glows about an experience and the next person is like, this is the worst place I've ever been, it's kind of funny at that point, who's wrong here? So we'll get into all of that, we're gonna continue our personal item of the week toward the end of the show from last week,

which man, you guys really, really took to that. We got quite a lot of feedback on that one. No pun intended. So. Good or bad. It was wild. People were happy with it. Let's get right into this here.

We got a couple of funny things here. We got a restaurant. We have a towing service, which will be very fun. We have people complaining about that. It's a good time here. Let's get into this with the Dragon City Restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio. This is-

Is that the Dragon City, Cincy? I didn't know. This is, no, that's just the name of a Chinese restaurant, Dragon City. Oh, because of the Chinese aspect. Yeah, yeah. This is a 8343 Vine Street in Cincinnati, and it says the description is simple, compact spot whipping up noodles fried rice and other

Chinese takeout standards So Chinese food is what it is. It's nothing nothing fancy Yeah, and it's your typical kind of small storefront, you know Okay, get a combo meal with egg rolls and fucking crab rangoons and all that shit It's that kind of that that's great, love it. This place has 3.3 stars on Google, which is not good. That is not good. And yeah, like when we go on the road and I'm looking for food, if I see 3.3 stars,

no, that is not happening. Sub four, I'm out. I'm going to be sick on a plane is what that means. Right, especially Chinese food, that's tough to do. And Cincinnati, they can fuck up pizza. So I don't know how the hell anybody is gonna trust their Chinese food. So here we go, five stars. If you're tasting some, I'm sorry, if you're craving some tasty Chinese food, I got tasty

and craving backwards, you've got to try the orange chicken with veggie fried rice and spring rolls. You've got to try the whitest thing they have Here's what you want These in their fucking orange chicken. No, well, that's I think with with veggie fried rice So instead of fried rice, this is vegetable fried rice, which is okay useless. Okay So instead of fried rice, it's as vegetable fried rice, which is okay useless. Okay Definitely go for carryout huge shout out to the staff for working so hard You guys are awesome with an exclamation point. So this is that's a hardcore five-star They give five stars for food five stars for service even this glowing Loving review gives three for atmosphere because let me show you the store front of the place.

It is a depressing looking. I think it could certainly do some upgrading there. It is a depressing looking little flocking. It looks like an urgent care. It looks like a Chinese urgent care. Like if you speak Chinese and you need medical attention right now, this is where you'd go. That's what it is. Okay, Shannon, five stars.

I would recommend it any day of the week. This is where you'd go. Yeah. What it is. OK, Shannon, five stars. I would recommend it any day of the week. The food is delicious. The service is fantastic. Only takeout place I go to anymore. Really? Only one. And they give five stars even for atmosphere in that place.

So you know they're a little full of shit because we looked at it. I don't like the colors. No. All right. Let's find out the underbelly here. Okay. Here we go.

Jeff, one star. Yeah, let's see what you got crawling around in there. This might be the worst Chinese we've ever had. We've ever had. I hope they mean food. They didn't just like, him and his wife fuck the Chinese guy, and they're like, he's the worst Chinese we've ever had.

We get a third all the time, and this guy's the worst Chinese we've ever had. We get a third all the time and this guy's the worst. He was miserable. They forgot to put the sauce in the bag for sweet and sour chicken. That's a problem. Then you just have fried chicken balls at that point. The egg rolls were greasy. All egg rolls are greasy. They are deep fried. The hot and sour soup tastes like some sort of barbecue beef soup, I have no explanation for that, that just sounds weird. Beef soup.

And the Szechuan shrimp looks and tastes like it's made with a barbecue slash tomato sauce base. All right, and then all caps here, it is horrible. We made two trips to Dragon City tonight, the first and the last. Why did you make two? You went back? They're trying to be co-

Oh, got it, yeah. Yeah, my first and my last. Like a boat, yeah. Yeah, you're really an asshole. This person- Your first day and your last day. One star for the food, five stars for the service, which if the service was that great,

they'd make better food, and then two for the atmosphere. So if the service was that great, they'd make better food, and then two for the atmosphere. So he's not having that atmosphere either. And here is a picture of what he's received. And it kind of does look like sweet baby rays with a bunch of Chinese vegetables and a couple of- That's a lot of sauce, isn't it? It's a lot of sauce, yeah, it's slathered.

That's like $8 worth of sauce. It's a lot. I do like, that's slathered. That's like eight dollars worth I do like their inclusion of multiple mini corns though, and I like that Those little things are good. Oh, they're so good. I love I love that big Tom Hanks tries to eat the little yeah We all did that as kids didn't we? And our parents cut that shit out eat your goddamn food you moron Tom taught how to eat them. Or however your parents talk to you, I don't know. That's how they talk to us, I think. Knock that shit off.

Knock that shit off, stupid. I think that's what we got. I don't know if your parents are the same. He's like a fucking moron. Yeah, why you doing that? You're embarrassing me. Oh my God. So next one, S.A. is the name, gives it one star.

This person has tons of reviews here too. They have a second job just reviewing shit it looks like. This place is the absolute worst. I ordered a chicken egg roll and chicken and broccoli and the food was old and cold. Old and cold, full of mold. The egg rolls were inside of a refrigerator, uncovered, and they were old and tasted stale. How do you know how they were stored?

What are you talking about? You don't know that? The gravy was still congealed and not warmed up all the way. The customer service is terrible. I wouldn't take my worst enemy to this location. Used to be good years ago, but they went downhill. Yeah. Oh my goodness, okay.

One star from Anthony. Maybe the worst Chinese food I have ever had. I've ever had, okay. Which I might believe because I think the pizza there was one of the worst I've ever had. So I might believe the Chinese. It's possible, it's just expensive. That LaRosa's is, you guys have to run that shit out of town. I'm

I want to take all these people who think good I want to take them on fire show them. Yeah, whatever it takes Pretend it's like a like a like a big child molestation building, like a big trafficking. Nambla meeting. It's home base of Nambla, picture it, because that's how offensive it is. That pizza's as offensive to me as Nambla is, honestly.

They're both, they're on equal ground. Chains them with fire and force. And get it going. That's the only way to take the pizza back. Chains them back to Kentucky where they belong. Oh man, that pizza is fucking horrible. And you can do better, that's the thing. It's so easy to make pizza.

Well these are the same people who eat that Skyline chili, so. Yeah, all your effort into that fucking dish. Why don't you try to make a decent pizza? All your effort into making slop and putting it on spaghetti? For years, that's what they've done. You guys are, man, you've got to figure your cuisine out over there, guys. They're coupling trail food with Italian cuisine, James.

They're not to be trifled with. No. So yeah, first Chinese food I've ever had. The rice is super greasy. I had a delivery called back, was told they would remake it. Just to get a call back from some lady lying, saying the driver got into an accident

and said it was too cold. To deliver or the food is too cold? Well, you got in an accident. It's sincey, it's all cold now. Just don't do this place. You have been warned. No! Oh, warned.

This is a warning. Uh-oh. I don't even know what the fuck this name is, it's in another language, so I have no idea. And I mean like the characters themselves, like it's not the ABC alphabet that they used here. So, one star. I work near this place, decided to try something new.

Google maps this place and Ordered food to pick up. Yeah, I don't think English is their first language The food was disgusting and there was a fly floating in my soup. Oh That is some like old-school That's an old gag right there and I didn't even want to try it. Well, why would you? There's insects in it. Yeah, that would make sense. I don't know. What is? What are you talking about?

Yeah, of course you can try it. You don't have to say anymore, man. You're saying too much, way too much. That's it. I threw it in the garbage is what we assume. Yeah. The chicken and rice was not fresh and I just threw the food in the garbage and went hungry.

Oh. Wow. Was this like, did you just get out of a refugee camp or something? It's all the money I had. Yeah, I don't know what's going on here. I tried something else. This is a great too.

He has a picture of the food in the garbage, which is hilarious. And then this one. He did. Close up, food in the garbage, thumbs down in front of it. He's thumbs downing the food in the garbage. He didn't touch a scrap of it though, he's not kidding.

No, the fork is still in the, the plastic fork is still in the fucking container there. They did give him duck sauce though, that's nice. I hate when they forget the duck sauce. All right. Is that good? I don't think I've ever had that. Oh, duck sauce is fucking great, like on an egg roll, on a lot of things.

Is it made of duck? Yeah, is it like duck grease? No, it's duck, it's the sauce you put on duck. Duck sauce, it's like an orangey it's ducks. It's the sauce you put on duck Duck sauce like the art. It's like an orangey kind of sauce. Okay. It's really fucking good. Okay, Christina one star This is a fucking long one. I ordered this food for my mom I noticed there was only one worker a woman usually there's a whole crew of men that cook but that's not when I went the woman What do you care? Who do you care what cooks? What's the difference? Also one woman does the work of 12 men, that's amazing.

Yeah, that's pretty impressive, huh? The woman did not use gloves or wash her hands prior to touching the food and kitchen appliances. That's a problem. The woman worked at the register and in the kitchen. She was multitasking. She touched cash and credit slash debit cards when the customers paid. Then she went back into the kitchen to prepare food.

She picked up the noodles with her bare hand and put it in the pan. Well, they are gonna be fried. Those are gonna get heated up, everything's dead. Yeah, it's in a frying pan for Christ's sake. As long as she doesn't pick it up from the frying pan and put it in your container, we're probably okay. I mean, that's still not like, I'm sure that's not I don't think the you know whatever the

the thing on the wall says you know the little food safety steps I don't think it says you know as long as it's cooked you can just yeah you're right have whatever slop you want in there okay the proof should be there in the store it is recorded on their camera I They need to be investigated. I can't believe they're this dirty. I don't remember them being this unsanitary when I bought their food years ago. Now it's really bad. I will not spend money here again.

This was the most dirty and unsanitary thing I've ever seen in person. You've never seen a homeless guy shitting on the sidewalk? Because I've seen that. That's more unsanitary I think. You're insinci. You've never seen anything grosser? Jesus. I haven't, I've only been there like four times.

Go to a Bearcats game man. Yeah, enjoy. Shit, just go to that street with all the college bars that Bogarts was on or whatever. They had, I don't even remember what place it was. They had beer pong tables set up in front yards with the cups still there Those boys aren't washing those are throwing those cups out. They're gonna reuse them. We were standing by the way Just a little thing we were standing outside waiting for our uber after a show there and we were just telling all these college girls

Please be careful. Please keep an eye on your drinks, please. We were looking at the guys going, oh my god, these guys are, these college guys look like they have just rape in their eyes. And I'm like, this is horrifying. Two 40 year old men standing on a Sinsey street telling girls, cover your drinks. Cover your drinks. Seriously, please be careful. These guys are animals. We did that for like 15 minutes and it was, there was no humor to it at all.

We were concerned fathers. We were just like, this is not okay. Oh, and we felt less like perverts standing out there too if we were like. The napkin goes on top. It goes on top, yeah, make sure. Oh man, Adrian one star. I'm pretty sure I got food poisoning from here.

I'll bet you did. It seems like a safe bet. Yeah, it seems. I ordered yesterday and the Mugu Gai Pan sauce smelled off and had like black mold in it. So why the fuck did you eat it? Sounds good. I didn't realize until after I had a few bites. Jesus Christ, look through your food a little.

I ended up tossing the entire order after realizing the smell and that the sauce was off. I've been sick all night throwing up Not good Ashley one star zero stars food was disgusting She's doing it. She's do she doesn't care. I don't care that Zero stars, I'm doing if I could I'm I'm doing it. I'm editing this right now. See how it says one Fixing that food was disgusting pukey emoji face Owners are even more disgusting. Here we go. I like it's personal here Was mad because I got a refund for nasty food. They prepared said I was lying y'all need to do better

Y'all need to do better. Y'all need to do better. It's funny just yelling at Chinese people, calling them y'all. I don't know why that's funny. She came from Kentucky for this. Yeah, for sure. She crossed a river for this shit. Please don't waste your money at this place.

Very dirty bugs are cooked into the fried noodles. Very dirty bugs, not just regular bugs. They haven't bathed yet. That's why punctuation is important, lady. And just overall, a very bad business. I will be sending the health department ASAP. Apparently she can dispatch the health department at will. Pretty impressive.

Breaker breaker health department. Health department, I got a bogey for you coming up on. Breaker breaker, we got a smokey up there and we got a Cincinnati smokey putting out moldy. Breaker Breaker Health Department got your ears on. Chelsea one star, I wish I could give zero stars. Okay, close. Nah, nah, it's close, but if you're gonna say it that way, just say zero stars like the last person did. I'm giving it zero stars. Okay, close. It's close, but if you're gonna say it that way,

just say zero stars, like the last person did. I'm giving it zero stars. Zero, fuck off. To start with, I got an order of fried noodles and it literally had a gnat cooked into it. You don't have to say literally, I believe that. Yeah, it's not figuratively a gnat. I started eating these in the car,

so I was not looking forward to getting home and seeing how my food was to begin with. It was the most disgusting Chinese food I have ever had. Jesus, put some punctuation in here. It's so hard figuring out when sentences start and stop. Chicken was disgusting, not the right sauce. Fried rice was nasty. Tasted like it had been cooked a million times

Long story short I did not eat it went right into the garbage I called the store and told them I would like a refund Whoever I spoke to asked me if it was okay this one time and I said no not really I will be in in the morning to get my money back fast forward till today. This is a whole narrative She's got here. Oh my. I get there and this psycho woman that I have read many reviews about, we'll find out about her, is literal.

Psycho woman. Wow, is literally screaming at me, basically telling me she wasn't giving me my money back. Yeah, I don't know what else she'd be yelling at you. You know, and you can't keep a man, and your car is dirty, like, what else is'd be yelling at you, you know, and you can't keep a man and your car is dirty. Like, what else is she going to tell you about? Your kids are dirty. Yeah. You're a bad mother. Like, I don't know what the fuck else she's saying.

We go back every, we go back and forth while mind you, this lady is being very unprofessional and rude, even accused me of eating all the food and still trying to get a refund. This is where she told me they haven't given out one refund in 30 years Okay Not starting now. We're not giving shit to you. I drove 20 minutes back home to dig her garbage out of the garbage Oh my god, I go back and demand my money back. She proceeds to tell me I am just one customer. I don't matter as to why I am warning everyone customers

do not matter to them or your money. Long story short, they need to be shut down. The place is filthy. Obviously bugs are being cooked in the food. And they have, obviously, literally and obviously, and they have zero regard for customers, especially the crazy lady Shut this place down five exclamation points. Yeah. Wow. This is like a $12 rudder of Chinese food

She's going to war over psycho lady James psycho lady That's cuz all right Justin one star every bad review you read is absolutely true One star every bad review you read is absolutely true The food is decent sized portion But is poor quality the woman that took my order didn't explain to me when I was ordering that everything came with fried rice Usually it's like white rice. It'll come with a little thing Fried white or brown yeah, everyone so needless to say I spent almost $40

on a huge four person meal when I was just trying to order myself. He ordered extra fried rice and had like 17 pounds of fried rice. When I tried to change my order, she was very rude and hung up. And yes, the delivery driver is rude. Told me not to forget his tip when signing the receipt.

Don't forget the tip. Don't forget to fill in that one box right there. Wow, that is wild. I deserve money. Thank you. Wow. Hint, that's a good way not to get a tip. I'll never be eating here again and I absolutely would never recommend it unless I hated that person. So if, what's his name, if Justin tells you to go there, watch out, he's got it in for you. He wants you to get food poisoning and eat a gnat. He wants blood, yeah, he thinks you like gnats.

He wants you to liquefy your internal organs. Coming out of everywhere. One star from Nicole, here we go. I ordered shrimp fried rice and realized they don't use cleaned, deveined shrimp. The black stringy shrimp poop is visible in just about every piece. And those are, shrimp fried rice are like small shrimp.

So it's like, you don't wanna have to do that yourself. And they're curled up. Yeah, they're curled up. You're just picking that up with a fork and jamming it in your face. You're not going through, there's no tails on them to pull off or anything like that.

No, no. Wish I could post the pic I took. It's disgusting. I'll never go back. Zero stars! You got it right at least. He's doing it too. Zero stars.

You got it. You got it. I'm vibing gives one star. Hell yeah. Disgusting for a sentence. I love Chinese food. I eat it all the time. This was my first and last time coming to this specific Chinese restaurant.

I ordered my favorite, orange chicken and crab rangoon. I took one bite of the orange chicken and spit it out. Did not taste right at all. The sweet and sour sauce was maroon and it smelled horrible. Maroon? Yeah, that sounds like it's bad. That shit's supposed to be like hot red. Well, like real Chinese food, there's no hot red sweet and sour sauce.

What is it, orange? What is it? No, it's not that. That's like kind of an American thing with that fucking glowing. James, if it's clear it might be gizz. They know we like that. Well, not totally clear.

It's a little on the creamy side. James, if it's clear, it might be gins. They know we like that. Well, not totally clear. It's a little on the creamy side. The kitchen is absolutely nasty. I should have known then the food would not be good. Yeah, if you saw that ahead of time, you should have left. I do not recommend anyone to go to this place. Also, when I wanted a refund, they tried telling me that I was wrong

and I didn't know what I was talking about. Very bad attitudes. I do not think this place should be was wrong and I didn't know what I was talking about. Very bad attitudes. I do not think this place should be in business. I don't think so either. No, but they're not gonna like. They can't just, you can't run them out of town. That's the thing, they really want to get all these people need to get together, I think, and run them out.

John, one star, if I could rate them, it would be negative five stars. Oh, for God's sake. You fucked it all up, dude. You son of negative five stars You fucked it all up You fucked it all up Jesus the food was just awful the beef pad Thai Well, that's there's your first mistake you will got Thai food at a fucking Chinese restaurant. You didn't tell me the sushi sucked, too What do you want? That's not the same country asshole. What do you expect? That's like saying the falafel at this Italian restaurant wasn't very good.

Well yeah, probably not. Does it make sense? I ate the baklava at this McDonald's. Yeah, it's super weird. Jesus, it was gross and smelled like ass. Literally. Like ass. Literally, literal ass. And tasted disgusting. Like ass, I. Literal ass.

And tasted disgusting. Like ass I would assume. Right? Probably. Smell that tasted. The egg rolls was greasy and undercooked. Made my stomach hurt. As for the chicken... Not the ass? Your ass is fine.

Your ass is all up top. As for the chicken fried rice, it had no flavor and also smelled like ass. So everything is assy in this place. What a funny comparison. So much ass. Smells like ass. Not shit. Ass. Musty, sour poop, right?

I mean, it really depends on the person. So we'd have to check this man's ass to see what he thinks ass smells like. Sour poop right? I mean I really depends on the person so we We'd have to check this man's ass to see what he thinks ass smells like we're not sure What the fuck man Smells like ass Seriously out of $30 worth of food. I ate only four crab rangoons He ate four they were not crab rangoons. You ate? He ate four, they were non-ass rangoons, that's why.

He had four non-asses. Will never eat from there again. Wish I could take food back and get refund, no joking. Why would we think you're joking about that? You just said it smelled like and tasted like ass and you're like, I wish I could get a refund, for real. Oh really, okay. Just downright foul, that is not how you spell that at all.

Just downright foul, terrible, disgusting Chinese food I have ever had, period. Don't see how they still in business. I don't see how they still in business. Well that one person at the very beginning has been just emptying their pockets into their coffers. It sounds like no shit and they are disgraced to Chinese food everywhere Okay, even the billion and a half people in China disgrace disgraced to be a check I

Absolutely don't recommend this place Yeah, okay. This is wild. Matt, one star. There was metal in my son's noodles. Three exclamation points. What kind of metal? Okay, I'll show it to you. Right now there's a picture of it. What is it?

It's a hook. Oh my God, that's like a piercing. It's like a piercing. It looks like a little, like, to catch like small trout with, like a little fishing hook. What the hell is that? Why would that be in your food?

I can't even imagine how that would get into food. Let's find out maybe Chang the cook just called me back and wanted to argue with me because she's the cook there I called to inform them there was metal in the food and the manager told me they'd call me back when I got the call Back, this is a lot to say someone called me back. When I got the call back, the lady proceeded to argue with me and basically call me a liar. Zero stars, don't eat here.

Absolutely ridiculous, they have absolutely no regard for customer safety and clearly are not in compliance with sanitation guidelines. Okay, that's a hook, man. That is, I'd fucking lose it. This is good shit. Danielle, one star. Absolutely filthy establishment. Witnessed an employee leaving the restroom after a BM. What? Okay, she must have been in the bathroom with them is the only thing I can imagine because she didn't flush or wash hands left a turd in the toilet and just walked out

Probably didn't wipe either just fucking shot it out and said that's enough a Dry fire and walked out God Wow didn't even flush it that is customer or an employee an employee did that witness Leaving the restroom after a BM is She didn't flush our wash hands just Wow door handle so dirty it left a greasy residue on my hand Oh God not even gonna bother eating the food going straight to the trash after ms. Poo hands touched it the trash after Ms. Poo Hands touched it. Miss Poo Hands is my favorite nickname ever. I have to write that down, that is very funny. Ms. Poo Hands touched it, run away!

Five exclamation points. I will be running away. Another filthy one, Stephanie, one star. This establishment was absolutely filthy. The place had visibly not been cleaned in a very long time there was an Elderly family member in the dining area coughing and spitting into a bucket on the floor No, have your tubercular attack over here in the customer section. Would you please you go? Hacking it's was a spittoon. Did somebody drag their fucking spinner into this place? I said a bucket

So I think it was a bucket. It's probably the same bucket. They clean the floor with though There was in the corner. Oh There was garbage everywhere I'm honestly not sure how they are still permitted to serve people this quote food completely disgusted Yeah, you got tubercular foreigners fucking hacking up in the eating area. Sydney one star, there was hair in my food on two separate occasions and they wouldn't give me

a refund unless I brought the order back to the restaurant. We want to take a peek at it. Bring that hair, would ya? Bring the hair too in a separate container. Rob one star, worst Chinese food ever. It's like they put ketchup with cornstarch over garbage. Oh, God, Jesus, that's a terrible description of Chinese food.

Over garbage, that is fucking funny. Linda one star, why can't I give zero stars? Sounds like a start to a poem, doesn't it? The best podcast that's ever existed, Jane. a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's

a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's then right and tonight it took over two hours to get my order I asked for a refund after an hour and a half and they refused to give it to me I never got the food and now have to put a charge reversal on the card yeah holy shit okay and then finally last Courtney one star went there last night watched the guy drop broccoli and still cook it so floor broccoli that's nice out of my kitchen yeah fuck out of my kitchen.

Fuck out of here. They answer the phone, or did he have shit on his hands though? That's the question. They answer the phone and continue to cook. No gloves or hand washing. I used to like this place, but definitely won't go back. I guess not.

Okay, so we've been jerked around by some of these foods. We're very sick. There's poop everywhere, that's the problem. There will be poop, We're very sick. There's poop everywhere. That's the problem. There will be poop, dammit! We found it in that one. Ms. Poo Hands, as a matter of fact.

Let's go ahead and retrieve our cars, Jimmy. We parked in a bad place. We parked in a bad place, so we're gonna check out this tow service. This is called Styland Recovery Company. Where is it at? It is in Staten Island, New York, I believe. Yes, 350 Front Street, Staten Island, New York.

They be toin'. Oh, they be toin'. 2.5 stars here. Oh, it's not. Well, it's a mechanic too. That's the other thing. Right, this is the confusing part because it could be either hired by somebody

to get this fuckin' car outta here or my car broke down and they saved my life. So there's a lot of variety here to this. We'll find out. Meredith, five stars. Mike saw me stranded with my car that got hit and towed it back to Styland Auto. He could not have been more nice or helpful. Evie took my information and made dealing with insurance fast and efficient. Mike then drove me to Enterprise where I got my rental car. I'm very satisfied with my experience at Styland on Front Street.

Didn't even have to call him. Not bad. Like my car Batman. He picked me up. I was just going to say it sounded like he was just cruising by and he was like damsel in distress and like popped a quick Ui and was like hop on, no charge, you know? I gotcha, yeah. I got it. Venus, two stars. This is the place that towed truck brought my car in.

That's the sentence, I don't know. It was really bad on the left and me not knowing much about cars, I let the tow truck take it to their shop with hopes that it would be fixed properly. The good part was it looked good when I got it back, but later down the line driving something wasn't right. I did my research wondering why my car was vibrating.

Google says it's the motor mounts. My uncle that works for Infiniti said it was definitely the motor mounts Later I needed to get auto body work done on the right So my guy called me and immediately told me that when he started the car he was concerned So he checked for me and said the left motor mount is broke. The bumper was glued Just glue it back on there Hey, the bolts didn't come in for this bumper. You have glue don't you idiot? Just fucking let's go. Bolt smolts we got elmurs.

Fuck out of here. Yeah this is fine. Wow something was bent and my wheel wasn't aligned. Now I have to go through the process of reopening a claim and not being able to drive far because it's not safe. I guess not. I hope everyone calls their insurance before letting anyone take their car and know who you're dealing with I am extremely disappointed seems like they wanted that insurance check more than actually fixing my car you think

Ramy Ramy one star the worst of the worst Any good reviews are guaranteed to be friends and family or alt accounts of the owner This is obviously some mob scam tied to the M Y P D. You will hear this many times. Oh yeah. This is, this is offensive as shit to me. Like it's just, yeah, obviously there, it's a mob operation. You can just have a shitty, like fraudulent business without them being, not saying that they are, that's not alleged,

without being in the mafia also, you know. A mob scam, not only that, tied into the NYPD. So you're blowing the lid off a major conspiracy. Yeah, a lot of people. They'll hold your car hostage, then demand outrageous amounts of money for removing the bumper and storage that you never asked for in the first place Then miscalculate the total to charge an extra three hundred dollars

What that means is that I added up all of the charges I was being billed for and the total amount at the bottom was three hundred dollars over that They really think their customers are that stupid. They think I'm dumb. They think I'm a dummy, but I'm not a dummy. I am Rami, and you guys are a mob scam tied in with the NYPD. So hot. Rami said so. That's it, it's over now.

Maria one star. My car was towed there after an accident. It took them, it's about, she's got dates here, it's irrelevant, about two months it looks like, three months to finish it. When I picked it up, I discovered that they robbed my vehicle. Oh shit. It took all my shit, even my fucking fuzzy dice,

they took that, everything. I will never use them again, nor will I ever recommend anyone else to. And because they had my car for practically a month longer than the time period my insurance company would pay, they gave me their word that they would pick up the remaining tab. Fast forward to 2017 to find out they never did and for that reason Enterprise Rental Cars will no longer rent to me until the tab is paid. Oh my god. I guess they were supposed to pay for the extra

month and didn't. D one star, scammers to exclamation points Styland recovery forces their customers to commit insurance fraud what this is a very big accusation They have like an organized insurance fraud ring is what you're saying. I'm gonna let my car on fire Yeah, they say play your car on fire and say somebody stole it. I don't know what's going on That's wild. I was told I would not have to pay my deductible if I let them damage my vehicle that would cause another couple thousand dollars worth. You know, if you just get it to this level, you don't have to pay that deductible at that point. You know, it's going to be a little better for you.

So I called my agent and told them that, and now they won't cover anything. I don't know if they did that or not, but that would be insurance fraud at that point. Yeah. I don't know if they did that or not, but that would be insurance fraud at that point. Also, they made a customer call the insurance company and lie about whom they were because the owner of the damaged vehicle was overseas. Once they get your business, they will bully you with their mafia attitude. See what I mean? Mafia attitude.

What does that mean? Mafia attitude. Did they shake you down? I know exactly what it means. I want them to say it out fucking loud. That's what I want. Just say it. Say fuck these guineas.

Just say it. You fucking jerk off. Crooked Italians are crooked as shit. Jesus Christ. Just say it. I would respect you if you would just say it. Please avoid. Crooked spaghetti sucking fucks.

Crooked whops. These wobbly whops over here trying to fucking scam me. Fucking lasagna breaths. Oh man. Please avoid and file a case when they ask you to intentionally commit insurance fraud for their own financial gain. You should probably walk out at that point. Yeah, don't let their business.

You don't go into fucking Walmart and they fucking start convincing you how to burn your house down. Go to a place that doesn't bother with you. Well, yeah, it's like calling a house painter and then being like, look, I'll tell you what, if I could paint your house, it's going to be about 30 grand. But if you burn the fucking thing down, then the insurance is going to pay for it, and then they'll pay me the 30 grand, so you won't have to pay yourself. So there is a way for you to get a free paint job. Don't blow your pilot lights out

and set your AC down to about 65, and we'll get outta here. We'll all take a walk for a while, nobody'll see nothing, and we'll see what happens. You know what I mean? Jason, one star here, Jesus Christ. What a disaster of an establishment. Four exclamation points.

Never have your car towed there if you're ever in an accident. One exclamation point. My mother's car was taken there and let's just say the accident itself was fun compared to dealing with the idiots that run this joint. Run, don't walk from here. Seven exclamation points. Anyone that says the work here is timely and done correctly are either employees or have no

clue. They ain't got no clue what's going on over here. Jesus Christ fucking Shaolin Toe Service here not doing it right. Tanya one star, it's been weeks now and still no car. When looking up this company on the better business bureau site, every review was negative. Citing work took longer than it should. Members of the company are always confused about parts, timing, cost, and the bills were inflated. Terrible, there are better auto body shops on the island.

One star from TO, T Terrell Owens coming in. That's nice. That's my quarterback you're talking about. My quarterback. If they mention Tony Romo we'll know it's him. Yeah. Okay, one star. These people will harass you and stand there and wait

even after you tell them you have your own means of towing. The man said everything he can to try to get me to let, to get him to, whoa what the fuck? to get me to let, to get him to let me, whoa, what the fuck, to get me to let him take my car. Wow, that was confusing. Sorry. He said, I will get you a rental right now. I will have your car fixed in a few days. Just tell insurance what they need to hear so we can take the car and get everything done. Yeah. Um, I don't even know how this man got it, got the car into the accident, knew the car got into an accident. I don't even know how this man got the car into the accident, knew the car got into an accident. I don't even know how this man knew a car got into an accident.

Probably the damage. No, no, no, no, no. He showed up at the site. He wasn't called. This is what they do. They just show up, which is a lot of places do this. They have scanners. I was going to say, it's just a scanner.

You have a scanner. You hear of an accident. You go out there. If you're the first person there and they haven't called anybody, they'll be like, yeah, I don't care. Fucking put it up there. If you're the first person there, and they haven't called anybody, they'll be like, yeah, I don't care, fucking put it up there. You're confused, you're in a state of, this is the equivalent of, remember the movie Cadillac Man

that we talked about with Robin Williams? In the beginning of it, it's him driving by a funeral, and the curse is broken down, so he stops and tries to sell a car to the funeral director and the widow at the same time. So that's kind of what's going on here. And that car, that movie was certainly marketed by the maker of that Cadillac,

that little two door, the two seater that he, Yeah, that he was driving. He loved that fucking car. He tried to sell it to everybody. Not a Catera, what the fuck was the name of it? It is a Catera, isn't it? Was it a Catera? It's a Cadillac Catera.

That little two seater, that little convertible. Yeah, I think it's a Cadillac Catera. Maybe, yeah, something sounds right. I'm gonna Google it now. I think it's a cat like a terror. Maybe, yeah, something sounds right. I'm kinda Googling now. I think it's a cat terror. It is, it's a cat like a terror. There we go, okay. The police don't come to scene anymore in Staten Island,

so why was he even there? The police don't come to an accident scene? Yes, they do. Yes, they do. There has to be a report. What if someone's injured or anything? Why wouldn't he leave? Why was he so persistent, trying to talk me out of where I am going to try to get the

money off of me? Yes, he's trying to get your business. That's what people do. It's called commerce. We've been doing it for a while now. Telling me I needed a credit card to hold a rental, but I won't be charged. These people are out hunting desperate people down. Thank God I knew better.

A person who has no street smarts will fall right into their trap. Don't let these people fool you. Something is not right about them. Okay. What are you gonna, something's not right. What is that? In Philly, when we saw that lady hit that fucking parked car

and blasted her face into a waterfall of blood, a guy on a fucking bicycle paramedics showed up first to bill her insurance for taking care of her. And then the paramedics showed up. And he got there because he had a fucking scanner. And he knew, this is how I make money, man. I'm delivering medical supplies. And if you really wanted that bad,

and they're right there, great. But you don't have to do that. No. JM one star, if I could give zero stars, Really wanted that bad and they're right there great, but you don't have to do that no JM one star if I could give zero stars I would All caps three exclamation points, so he said it on listening center from his chest. I like it good job They are full of lies full of lies. It's been over a month and I still don't have my car They lay basic communicat- they lack basic communication and customer service skills never bring your car here Highly unprofessional. There's a mix of capitalized words and I it's a mess this fucking review, but they nailed the beginning so I'm happy He's mad.

Oh he's pissed. Lana one star, one word of advice, run. Run far, far, far away from this collision shot. Far, far, far. If there is one thing about your car and decision making that you must make this one time in your life, please let it be paying attention to my warning along with several others who have said the same. This place should, or the state should close this place. Well, it's the mob in the NYPD, so they're never gonna close.

Jesus, ridiculous. The positive reviews were written by his friends and not at all accurate. Stay away! That's what all businesses do. Yeah, yeah, they boost their own shit. It's like putting a dollar in your tip jar to get it going at the beginning of the night. You know what I mean? That's what it is. Oh, somebody else do it, I'll do it too. Yeah, an empty jar doesn't look enticing. My favorite sushi restaurant in Phoenix,

she's seen me there 30 times and she finally was like, would you mind reviewing us? Because we like it when the people that come here the most review it rather than, you know, the people that had one bad experience. Oh, that makes all the sense in the world. Yeah. Yeah, yeah And I hate the people are like I've been going here for 30 years and this sucks now and well What's like were you leaving good reviews for 30 years? No?

Well then shut the fuck up. 20-30 of them in here from you you son of a bitch. Just glowing glowing Bartos one star they destroyed my car lost OEM parts and Refused to replace them and my car had to be redone by the dealer. See in front of the judge. Ok, I guess see you in front of the judge I think. Towing the car there was the biggest mistake I've made. I guess ever.

Jason One Star, Run! Seems to be a theme here of run motherfucker steer clear Believe the bad reviews they held my car hostage for three months when they're they just said they were sending like is Here just sending like his directional fucking thing Like in there sending parts of it just the the screw shifter for the screw top to the gear shifter They sent him he was like oh my god They sent me my gas cap They said they'll flatten my tires next they said oh man, you're gonna get rims in the mail next you know

I don't know what happened to those tires. Oh Man, the repairs should have taken three weeks. No joke run by thugs now. They thugs now they're in the mafia a minute ago Felipe one star do don't take your car to this place is a ripoff whole bunch of is a ripoff whole bunch of thieves kept my car one day and charged me eight hundred eighty one dollars i don't know it seems excessive just for storage but probably I'm really a tow fee. There's probably there's probably a lot of fees in there Oh shit Eddie one star if I could put zero stars I would close enough. Thank you It's not bad. Yeah, put and give we can we can exchange. That's pretty good This is not an auto body shop. It's a towing company that thinks they can do bodywork Please take my word for it. Do not leave your car there for bodywork learn from my mistake

I had to bring my car back there at least six times and they still have not resolved the problem Please take my word for it. Do not leave your car there for bodywork. Learn from my mistake. I had to bring my car back there at least six times and they still have not resolved the problem. They are the worst. I repeat, do not leave your car there. You will regret it. You will. Zeng gives one star.

Don't ever go there. They are, well, liars is what I think they're trying to say. L-I-E-R-S, the less common. That's a liar, yeah. That's a leers. They are leers. And then there's a picture of, like a nick in the, it looks like the door

right below the window. There's like, I guess some. He's got some red marks in the circle and a black mark? What's the black mark? He's circling the black mark. Okay, all right. And it looks like making a smiley face, possibly. There's two little eyes there, I think.

And then this, just another little spot of rust. Apparently just showing shoddy work. But we don't know what they were supposed to do, so how can we know what the hell you're doing? And then finally, Balthazar, one star, they suck. Okay. Nice and clean.

All right, so let's move on now to the personal item of the week. It is a continuation of last week's because there was just so much for it that we couldn't just throw it all in the garbage. You didn't throw the baby out with the jizz water, you know what I mean? You gotta... Evidently, this is a point of contention. People either adore, love, or are frightened. Or horrified by it.

And guess what? If you do love it, that's good for you, but we are judging you. That's weird. We're judging you. We think you're a creep. That's fine. It's fine.

Behind closed doors, knock yourself out. So if we have time, we will get to a terrible Walmart food product again. Oh! It's fun too. So here we go. we will get to a terrible Walmart food product again Oh, but so here we go personal item of the week. This is jizz From last week. We did it. It's a lubricant called jizz, and it's supposed to be semen scented And a lot of people like it for Weird reasons guys like it to have weird weird reasons. Guys like it to have weird cuckold fantasies

with their wife where they shoot it into them and then they're like, oh yeah, that feels like it's another guy who was in there and it makes them all excited. And then chicks who just love jizz and love to have it all over them, it's real weird. There is this caveman thing about humans that the penis is shaped the way it's shaped

to pull other men's, it's a spoon, to pull other men's jizz out to get yours in that's what that's why it's like that James Google it I swear it Google what nature intended how do you Google? People have different shaped dick still what about those people How do you Google that? Why is my dick shaped funny? I don't know how that's... People have different shaped dicks too. What about those people? Or do you mean the head itself? But they all have the thing. Yeah, that little rim back there. So you're supposed to put it in and then it's like a plunger? Yeah, you pack other dudes jizz in your dick and yank it out.

Why? Okay. Why did nature expect us to be running trains on women? What's going on? Why are we doing that? It's survival of the fittest I think. I don't know man. Why did nature expect us to be running trains on women? What's going on? Why are we doing that? It's survival of the fittest, I think. I don't know, man. Wow, so it's like the shells to wipe your ass with and judge dread or whatever.

Like, what's going on? It's devilish, man. I don't know what devilish it is. Same fucking movie. I cannot tell those two apart. I've seen them both. They're the same movie. One has Wesley Snipes with crazy hair and the other doesn't. think they both do I think isn't all of them. I know I don't know

I don't know one of them's got Sandra Bullock in it. I know I think that's Judge Dredd possibly It's a futuristic he's cop futuristic same bullshit All right, Michael one star Here we go. It's exactly what is advertised and more. Uh-huh and a sad face after that So Emily's it's great, but I hate it. Well, it said it's exactly what's advertised. They didn't say I like it It's just why'd you buy it if it's if they if they give you exactly what's advertised and you say I like it. It's just, why did you buy it? If they give you exactly what's advertised and you don't like it, why did you buy it? Because they gave you, yeah.

First off, the smell isn't exact. Oh gee, sorry. It isn't? It isn't exactly like semen, but it's unmistakably cum. Okay. What? It's not exact, but it's definitely in the wheelhouse of Jizz. It's Jizz adjacent.

It's Jizz Jason is what it is. Wow. It has a chemical overtone very much like Musk, but I could pretty easily get over that because, well, you're horny and I like Musk. Okay? But it's strong. Doesn't matter how much, it's strong. Yeah, that's not the, yeah.

I mixed literal drops into a much bigger amount of unscented lube and it smells the same as if I just poured a whole bunch in my hand. Then just use a whole bunch. Then what's the difference? Yeah. Yeah. So a little goes a very very far smell wise Besides that it does wash out easily, which is the only other thing I can comment on so yes

It is what was advertised but back to the smell. I Really want to hear them describe the smell in detail Trust me worry about the smell. I used it in the shower. So it was easy to clean. Well, that seems pointless It seems like you don't like jizz at all Like as soon as I can get this get it off me. Yeah, you could have just got an Unscented lube I think at that point, but when I got out packed everything up and went about my business I still smelled it I must have gotten some on my hand packing it away

If you've ever seen a small if you even have a small speck on you You will eventually smell it if you stand still you probably shouldn't have fake jizz on you at any point You know out in public and like I said before you smell it come and chemical musk and it's near It's near impossible to determine where it is on you. So if that happens, you might as well take a shower. Cause you can't find your gist spot. You got skunk sprayed. You're like, where the fuck is it?

Where'd he get me? Where'd he get me? A rub tomato juice all over me. I can't get it. Oh man, fuck it, I'm taking a bath. And it's awful smelling like it when you're not horny. It's fine to smell like it when you're horny, but when you're not horny, it's fine to smell like it when you're horny, but when you're not horny, it's a mess.

And it cannot be pleasant in the slightest smelling that on someone. This is why I'm giving it one star. It's perfectly fine in the moment, great even, but completely unsuitable outside of it. It's like anal basically. In the moment, you know, outside of it, it sounds aberrant, but you know.

Wow, so outside of it, it sounds aberrant, but you know. Wow, so outside of it, rich, which it unfortunately forces itself into, I think which is what they're going for. They put rich though. I would not recommend, to be honest. I've used it once and I'm scared to use it again because I don't want to smell like the lube. I don't want my bathroom or my house to smell like it. It's a little jizzy in here.

And. I got kids. Jesus, right? I got kids. Jesus, yeah, I got kids and they're wondering. What the fuck is that? What is that? That was my nine year old, it's weird. And I can't imagine how awful it'd be if it got on your mattress.

Yeah, that sounds bad. A smaller complaint I have is that it's not edible. So the smell makes you sick, but you wanna eat it. Drives me crazy. What the fuck are you talking about? Most of its ingredients have sources saying they're safe, but or widely considered safe But it is at least one that is an absolute no-go zone forget which one though But then again that that wasn't advertised so this has absolutely no impact on my one-star rating. Just the smell.

Just letting you know in case you were going to eat it. Yeah, alright. You know, you should. Don't do it. Yeah. Wow. Brian One Star. Tried to give it a chance.

Terrible. Yeah. Okay, that's his title. I didn't notice the age of the positive reviews. Whatever product they're talking about, this is not it. Okay, this ain't it man. The first sniff right after cracking the seal, I was impressed with the scent. Ooh, jizzy. I picture him wafting it up to himself with a cupped hand, you know what I mean? Smell that that's nice like a guy who just farted and loves it. I Was impressed with the scent not spot-on but not bad

Then I noticed the product kept bubbling slowly just sitting on a desk the slime from Donbusters 2? Yeah, is it festering? Don't yell at it. It's taking your bad energy and fucking... It's gonna eat the Gordy Weaver's kid. Oh man. Run Rick Moranis, run. My best guess is that the stuff oxidizes

once it hits the air. Oh. What? I smell, it can't be sitting there festering like that. That's Fucking scientists I Oxidizes I smelled it again an hour later and boy it smelled like munchos What are those? Chips number that should you know munchos cuz they're two fucking dollars. Don't tell me you didn't buy them when you were a kid. I

Used to get him in Arizona because they're two fucking dollars. Don't tell me you didn't buy them when you were a kid. I used to get them in Arizona because they're two bucks. Two fucking dollars. Two dollars for a big bag and it says it on the bag and like a big thing. Munchos? Munchos. Oh yeah! You know munchos.

Two dollars only. Only, always. They're like the Arizona iced tea of potato chips. Two fucking dollars. They are like real light and the saltiest fucking thing. They're delicious, they're delicious. They're so good They like a mouth exactly like that and I know that exact smell of the munchos, too I know exactly what he's talking about. It's a weird because they definitely are chemicals. There's no potatoes in those things at all

It's just a bag of chemicals Yeah Which are these vaguely potato chip esque snacks? Yes chemicals Made of machine-pressed potato mulch. I'm sure I'm sure that's We're gonna get we're absolutely gonna get munchos for next week to review we're gonna get a bag Potato press We're gonna review them as we eat the munchos. Oh, yeah, that's what we're gonna get a bag ourselves. Vaguely potato-pressed. We're gonna review them as we eat the munchos.

Oh yeah. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get munchos and we're gonna eat them as we review them. Great. Oh man, they're so... Yeah, they're right. You're just gonna be hearing us drinking a lot. It's so salty.

And I'm sure our weapons grade salty. They really are. They're tough. Weapons grade. Salty. This guy. This guy is... And I'm sure our weapons grade salty. They really are they're tough. I Salty And how do you get the potato chips from jizz? We're talking about a Jizz Loop. They smell like, you know what they smell like? Oh my God. Okay, I did a bit of a, I did taste it a bit at first and it was somewhat sweet.

I hadn't planned on dipping my fries in it but I was curious. Oh. After the Muncho scent began, the taste also changed. It was very chemical, very dot dot dot chemical. Once I got around to using it, it had a very slight burning feeling

and seemed to make it hard to relax the appropriate muscles. And the smell just got worse. It ended up reminding me of some kind of biological smell, somewhere between This guy's so specific somewhere between dog paws and gym socks So dog paws It's stiff and dog paws so dog paws Gym socks and munchos he's brought into this this guy paints some Monet. Oh, I gotta find out how many other reviews. Yeah, damn it. I want all those reviews. These are good

Don't buy this you like me probably found some reviews saying this was the top Best product if you're looking for a facsimile of the real thing those reviews are out of date I didn't even want to risk this stuff sitting in the trash and getting worse, so I dumped it in the toilet I don't know if you're supposed to do that Now the drain smells like munchos. Yeah, hope you don't have a septic tank. That's probably not Yeah, you can't even put Drano down those fucking things not a good plan. Yeah, I will never forget the smell It's like the first time you experience the scent of something that's been dead for a day or two I thought it was dog paws and munchos. Wow. I'm not eating munchos if it smells like fresh dead animal. It doesn't. It smells like jizz, Jimmy. We're going to love it. I'm just kidding. You never

forget exactly how it smells in all caps. The product lingers in a similar way. Did I already say not to buy this? Don't buy this this it doesn't even work as lube if you're looking for a purely visual prop maybe but like open a window it's awful it smells bad it smells bad Ryan one star burning bleach stains oh my god okay that's not good a new non staining formula bleached my towels permanently ruined and someone's gonna go Oh, what happened your towels nothing, okay? It's none of your fucking business your business. Okay people fuck their towels up. Sometimes. Is that like a fucking crime now? Yeah, leave me alone

Burning sensation when used this stuff must contain bleach or hydrogen peroxide I hope not no way it is body safe steer clear Okay, one star yuck Yeah, doesn't smell like anything really How much munchos have you been snorting the other people people said you need to open a window. It'll stick your house up and linger It's like cooking fucking Indian food in there, but no this guy. Yeah, it's not a fucking thing Wow tastes like body lotion again not supposed to taste it really sticky and dries super fast

Looks close enough. I guess would not buy it again Here's another one Cel Celeste 1 Star. Smells like fish or an old dirty trash can. Or dog paws or gym socks or munchos. I thought at first I received a damaged bottle. But no, I should have been more thorough in my research before choosing this lube. They do admit in the description that it has a musky smell, but semen isn't supposed to smell musky. It smells like bleach.

You want it to smell like bleach, okay. Honestly, I think I could have handled a slightly musky odor, but I wouldn't call this musky. I would call this odor fishy, and semen isn't supposed to smell fishy. After a while, that's what they're saying, right? I guess. Jizz tends to get a little fishy after it sits for a while, right? Well, he just said not unless we're talking about semen that was ejaculated several days ago.

Right, there you go. He's like, I keep samples to watch the breakdown of it. After 10 days, you'll really be interested to see what it starts to do. It smells like a trout's pussy. It smells like a trout twat. The consistency and color was fine. I have no idea how well it works as lube,

and I never will, because there's no way this awful smelling liquid is going to be put on any part of my body. I wish I could return the unopened bottle bottle and I wish I could rate it zero stars. QT one star. Okay. Tastes like chemicals. Oh QT don't do that.

That's because it's not supposed to be. You're putting it in the wrong hole. You dumb shit. Yeah. You put it up your ass not in your mouth stupid. There's not a lot of things that you're supposed to say that about. Right. Cum doesn't always taste great, dot, dot, dot, but this tastes like chemicals, slash, soap. There is a sharp, bitter burn to it,

like he's been eating asparagus covered in gasoline for days. Kay? It's very specific. Asparagus covered gasoline, munch munchos gym socks and dog paws Really love the comparisons man, they're all so different from one another that's what I mean It's fucking nuts dude. I don't trust someone says something smells like something from now on I don't trust them at all I Still want to go to the guy that said the restaurant smelled like ass

I still want to go back to the guy that said the restaurant smelled like ass There's a sharp bitter burn to it like you okay, that's out if I could return it I would That's that that my darling is your juice Your is you can't that is your fake semen It's going in the trash waste of money plus the foil seal inside the cap on the bottle was not attached when it arrived. Someone else's jizz was in there. Someone else did return the jizz. That is jizz.

That's a real jizz. Todd, one star, disgusting. This product smells like semen that's been left out for several days. I keep my semen refrigerated like you're supposed to. When I opened the bottle and smelled it for the first time I gagged. It smelled so bad that I ended up throwing it out without even trying it. If you're thinking about buying this to spice things up, you will regret it. Then finally, the last one, throw it out is the title.

Very disappointed with this product. Burned both my partner and I, had to immediately run to the shower to wash off. Thankfully it washed off easily, but we could not purchase this again, but we will not purchase this again. It also has a very weird smell that I couldn't stop making a face about and the seal came off too easily like it wasn't sealed that was concerning that's not still used it yeah yeah what are you doing you still put it on a penis and then had that inserted into you and you're fine with that

unbelievable okay with the couple minutes we have left, let's do a few reviews from this tomato sauce because holy shit, it sucks. Well, it's Walmart Great Value Tomato Sauce. Tomato Basil Garlic Pasta Sauce to be exact. All it's good for is washing a skunk off you. Or the smell of that jizz. Yeah. I feel like if you batheded in this it would probably work It is a dollar sixty seven. Okay. Oh wow. That is not enough Delicious tomato sauce with a burst of basil and garlic flavor contains full serving of vegetables in every half cup serving

Simply heat our sauce on the stove or in the microwave and serve over your favorite pasta Also great in tomato soup ratatouille and more Simply heat our sauce on the stove or in the microwave and serve over your favorite pasta. Also great in tomato soup, ratatouille and more. Okay, here's five stars. Jesus Christ from Jehovah with an L. Just the right sauce. The jar of spaghetti sauce comes in a lot. What? In a lot of them? The jar of spaghetti sauce comes in a lot What in a lot of them the jar of spaghetti sauce comes in a lot?

Such big jar it's just perfect for a whole five servings just as what I want needing Thank you definitely will buy more LaJovah LaJovah oh boy Leanne she means there's a shitload of it for a dollar 70 so that's what it is It's a big jar of sauce Let's see five, Leanne. She means there's a shitload of it for $1.77. That's what it is. It's a big jar of sauce. Let's see, five stars, Leanne. Great sauce with a lot of flavor. I wish this was still 99 cents.

What? It went up. 99, Jesus. But I usually buy hunts, but they were out. Great value has gone up. Still good and cheaper than the other brands but for the price I prefer hunts. Okay, yeah, you should.

Wow, two stars. Had an overpowering flavor. Not tomato or basil. Probably Italian or Greek oregano, whichever one is bitter. Yes, oregano does not belong in pasta sauce, okay? It doesn't belong in a marinara, pomodoro, none of that shit

So a lot of these cheap sauces and a lot of times if you go to like crappy Restaurants pizza places and get their fucking there, you know shit pizza place and get their pasta It has so much fucking oregano in it and ruins it all supposed to be basil. Well, that's the yeah That's the difference a pizza sauce has a drop of oregano in it That's the difference between a pizza sauce and a pasta sauce. Right there, now you guys know. Okay, Haley, two stars. Nah. Yeah, nah.

Not a fan of the taste. I like Bertolli's. Well yeah, you're gonna hate this then. Why the fuck would you touch this ever then? Yeah, Bertolli's is $6 a jar. That's the difference right there. Tomorrow's payday? Tomorrow eat spaghetti then. Don't eat it today. Yeah, don'ti's is $6 a jar. That's the difference right there. Tomorrow's payday? Tomorrow eat spaghetti then.

Don't eat it today. Yeah, don't do it now. Have it today. Yeah, use a little butter and fucking garlic on there so it may be fine. God, damn it. Two stars, watery, 26% hardly any taste. What is that?

26%. Is that water I guess? I guess. I was surprised to find it very watery and very little taste I would have been better off just putting a can of tomatoes in will not buy. Why would you ever expect? It's a dollar. It's a dollar. Why would you expect any flavor or tomatoes in it? Why would you buy ethnic food from Walmart? How about that?

Let's start there. The amount of tomatoes it would take to make this jar is way more than a dollar's worth of tomatoes. Why would you ever expect this to be good? And then garlic, olive oil, things like that. What are we talking about? You're out of your mind. There's no way there's enough product in this for a dollar. No.

Disgusting. Two stars, vinegar taste. There it is. I don't know what I was thinking. Sometimes saving a few cents isn't worth the sacrifice of flavor. I add so many fresh veggies, chunks, and spices, I didn't think it would matter. What brand of tomato sauce matters? Plus, they probably use terrible tomatoes, whatever anybody else

picked up off the floor they buy. That's expensive. Tomatoes makes good sauce. Yeah. This had such a strong vinegar taste. I felt like it wasted my spices and meat. Yeah, you ruined your meat. Gave it a terrible flavor. You put, you put, what, what vinegar on your sausage?

What's wrong with you? Dude, tomatoes are very acidic. When I canned, I never added vinegar. Vinegar is for pickles. No, vinegar belongs nowhere near tomatoes. Nowhere near fruit, yeah. By the way, when you buy canned tomatoes, buy whole tomatoes, because if you buy the crushed,

that's the tomatoes that weren't good enough to make the whole cans. Oh, is that right? Yeah, I know a guy, his grandfather worked in like a tomato factory like that, and he said, yeah, that's the garbage. Put that in the crushed one, it's already crushed. Yeah, the crushed is garbage.

That's already the garbage tomatoes. So the other ones have to be a certain size and everything like that. So two stars, half cup less than listed. Oh, now they're talking about the amount. You're still on weights and measures? Oh, yeah, that's exactly. We needed 24 ounces of pasta sauce,

so we bought what we thought was 24 ounces worth of sauce. Once we started preparing the recipe, we realized there was one 20 ounces of sauce in the jar. Not a huge deal but pretty disappointing to be sure. Well you got less garbage who cares. You were overcharged for trash. One star tomato flavored water. Yeah. There was zero flavor it ruined my lasagna. You know why would you do all that work and then put this on it. I never again I've bought Kroger spaghetti sauce for years, so I didn't think this could be that bad wrong good luck If you buy it yeah

Two stars it had an overpowering flavor not tomato or base. Oh, this is another oregano one I'm sorry. It was the same one one star mold Bought this five days ago open it and there is mold on the lid no ah gross oh my god that is fucking disgusting um one star everything was okay except one of my spaghetti sauce containers was placed weird and it was damaged and spilled in my driveway and I had to clean it up so I wouldn't get a fine for litter as a delivery one just thought it was funny. Yeah. Blob in my sauce, one star.

What is that? There was a blob in my sauce. I'm not sure what it was, but it wasn't expired. I threw it out. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. One star, it's a way different sauce. We don't even know what the blob was, what? Nope, never found out, just threw it out. It's like like I don't know what that is one star save your money I will

never buy this sauce again very watering was disappointing in taste and then finally quote one star quote more of a question does it have big chunks of tomato in it probably not for that money. It's probably not tomato, who's probably God knows what the fuck else it could possibly be. Yeah and then another person here, I'll give one more here, it's Debase. D-B-A-D-E-B-A-S-E. Debase. Okay, what does that mean? There's dried sauce on the neck of the jar and the seal popped fine and this past recall. In concentration it is very, it is tri-barilla sauce in the jar because they stopped.

It is slum. How does it pass recall? Slum. I think you ate this sauce and now it's eating your brain. Yeah, I think you got some sort of parasite from it that's eating your fucking frontal lobe there. So it is slum. By the way, we should all pick that up as a,

you know, that shit's slum. Like anything that sucks, call it slum. I think that'd be good slang we could do from now on. So there you go. Definitely gonna have munchos next week to review for you. Absolutely gonna have munchos. Me and Jimmy are gonna eat munchos and tell you what they taste like

as we read reviews from them. So there you go. There is your stupid opinions. Hope you've enjoyed. Watch out for the jizz. Try to decide what something smells like before you write it down and watch out for hooks in your Chinese food. Don't have 11 references that don't smell the same.

No, that's so fucking weird. Enjoy your dog paw smells and everything else. Thank you so much everybody. Follow us on social media, rate and review the show. It helps a lot. Listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are just what they sound like, but funny. Had to shut up and give me murder.com for all details, everything you could want to

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