Your Stupid Opinions - Murder Motel Ice Skating With Danger Starving Kids Super Heroes

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for an NYC ice skating experience, where you may have to dodge the jumping skaters, and you should definitely not eat the empanadas. A Hol...lywood motel, where you can't get a refund, even if you're witness to a murder. A kid's party business, in Mexico, where your kids may starve, and the soda does not flow like water. A country western clothing store, that only has high water jeans & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, everybody. Welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey. Hello. Thank you for so much for joining us today. My name is James Petrigal. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. We're so excited to present you with more of people's opinions about places we'll probably never go, written by people we don't give a flying shit about. So it's really excellent. It's going to be so much fun. We have some good stuff lined up. up for you this week, starting with the boot barn. We're going to head back into the boot barn and finish up that from last week here. Before we do, though, definitely head over to shut up and give
Starting point is 00:00:51 me murder.com. That's where you get all of the merchandise and really anything about any of our three shows, crime and sports, small town murder, or this one, that's where you get all the merchandise tickets to live shows. And I will announce a little secret here. We won't say where, we won't say when, but there is going to be in our live show schedule next year where we do small town murder live shows all year. There is going to be one your stupid opinions live show. We got one your stupid opinions live show. So let's make sure that when these, they're going to go on sale pretty soon when they do.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Let's make sure to sell that hard. So we have more your stupid opinions. It's a test, basically. And if people like it and they want to go to it, we're going to do more. And if not, then we won't. So there you go. We can't wait to find out. So let's get back into it.
Starting point is 00:01:41 The market decides. We let the people decide. We're not going to force anything down anybody's throat. So, but it's got, these are, when we do small town murder live shows, the reviews part is the best part of the show. It's so fun. And we remember going, God, I wish the whole show could just be these reviews. And then here we are. And it's going to be the funniest show for an hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I can't wait. So here we go. We'll go back to the old boot barn in Kansas. Now this one here, okay. Yay. Yamey, one star with a Y. Yamy. My husband got a pin from a safety clasp in his foot.
Starting point is 00:02:18 He left the store with his foot bleeding. Jesus. And these are the pins. She took a picture of what they are. They're big. Oh, yeah. There's some big metal spikes. It's the anti-theft device.
Starting point is 00:02:30 That's what's in the back of it. The magnet pulls that thing out. It's like a nail, this thing. It's a horse hoof nail. Yeah, why is that in the trions? That shouldn't be in the old trions, right? Yeah, put that in the bottom of the boot. Wow, the worker stays by your side or follows you.
Starting point is 00:02:48 They are very concerned about theft. They're very concerned about someone running away with one boot on, is what I don't understand. Or even still, even if you put two brand new boots on, you're not running anywhere. It's going to take you so long to break those. Aren't they slippery? Yeah, you got to go out and scuff them up. Yeah. I think they're like wrestling boots I've heard.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Like when wrestlers get new boots, they have to go out on like the gravel and on the concrete and asphalt and scuffle up. They make work cowboy boots that the bottoms are rubber, though, too, so they have those. But it doesn't matter what boot you get. You're not fucking running in that. You're going to take three steps and fall down like. You're going to fall right on your fucking feet. You're going to fall like Forrest Gump with his leg braces. Your leg's so stiff.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Okay. Vincent, one star. Yeah. It's Sunday. One of the busiest days of the weekend. There's only two days of the week. It's one of the busiest days of the weekend. One of.
Starting point is 00:03:42 And Sunday is not. That's the least busy. I would think so, yeah. And only one register open with 10 customers in line going nowhere fast. This place is popping, man. Yeah, it is. I got to open a boot barn. What do you say, Jimmy?
Starting point is 00:03:56 Let's go in on a boot barn together. I'll buy all our stock. Let's say, you take care of everything. How's that? You deal with everything, boot or anything, basically anything. You just deal with the boot barn. I'll put all these shows together. You deal with the boot barn.
Starting point is 00:04:14 We'll meet in the middle. I can't work today, James. I'm busy with boot bar. I got boot business to deal with. Cody James is having a sale. You don't understand, James. It's crazy. There's so much going on.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Okay. I did see at least three employees working in different areas of the store. But just like Lowe's home improvement, nobody opens another register to assist the one employee doing the best she can. could as fast as she could. I gave my would-be purchase $100 plus to an employee stocking shelves. Would you buy a t-shirt? Say, what is $100 in this place?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Everything is $300, $400 in this place, minimum, right? Oh, my God. To an employee stocking shelves. I told her, I don't have the patience to wait in long lines waiting 10 or 15 minutes to stand in line and pay. Oh, my, you fragile? Yeah. I can't wait 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Do you know who I am? Sometimes you wait 10 minutes. That's life. Ten minutes is, I mean, time is money, James, but 10 minutes is, Jesus. It's a Sunday, chill, brother. Let's got to calm down. You knew it was the busiest day of the weekend. It's one of the busiest days of the weekend.
Starting point is 00:05:24 You knew that going in here. Yeah, you started this. I will go to another store that values my time and wants my money. I'll go spend way more time driving to another store, picking out the same shit and taking it up to the counter rather than just waiting 10 minutes. because I'm smart. Right. And my time is valuable.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Yeah. Tom, one star. Avoid this location. Worst customer service. What do you think, Jimmy? Worst customer service. Ever. Yeah, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:05:52 In the last week, when do you think? What's the time frame? Ever. I walked to the store and asked for help three times. I didn't bring my reading glasses and had to get on the floor to try to find my size and jeans. Get on the floor. Is that where the jeans are? Are they on the floor and stuff?
Starting point is 00:06:08 Bottom shelf? Why are you getting bottom shelf jeans, man? Yeah, what's going? Yeah, you're worth it, man. At least go middle shelf on those games. Take care of you. Take care of your ass and balls, my friend. I don't think there was anyone working there, but the security guard who wouldn't find me
Starting point is 00:06:21 help because he was too busy watching me like I was going to take something. I was the only one in the whole store. I'll never go back and you shouldn't either. No, you should. Come with me. Come on, everybody. I encourage you to not go either. No one deserves to be treated that way and to be.
Starting point is 00:06:38 ignored. That's right. Debbie, one star. My husband has purchased shoes from this location before and has had mediocre service, but thought, I'll try this store one more time. I gave a pause because they gave an ellipses after thought for some reason. Thought. And thought, I'll try this store one more. You didn't need that much of a pause. A comma would have sufficed, my friend. It was by the way, I'm going to say that as a
Starting point is 00:07:07 as a grammar Nazi somebody here, but I've had several people be like, oh, I know James is a grammar Nazi, not at all. Listen, I know he is. I didn't graduate high school. I'm very aware of I don't give a fuck. Here's what I have. If you are going to trash somebody on the internet, you should know how to write it. Or else you should shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Yeah. Or deal with the shame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I couldn't pronounce half the words I said, this would be a bad job for me. You know what I'm saying? So if you can't figure out how to write shit, you should shut up and leave it alone.
Starting point is 00:07:49 That was my, that's my point. If you're like texting me something, I don't care about your punctuation. I don't give a shit. But if you're publicly shaving somebody, you should have your shit tight. Write it correctly. Yeah. I thought I'll try this store one more time. He went tonight with my daughter and was treated like a thief.
Starting point is 00:08:08 They were followed around and not helped appropriately. They were never greeted at the door because they didn't make a purchase. They weren't invited back to shop. What? You don't need an invitation. The open sign is the invitation. Yeah, that's the invitation. They were followed around.
Starting point is 00:08:25 That feels like great fucking service. That's good. What do you need to look at? Great service or, yeah. That's how I feel like black teenagers feel in convenience stores. They really feel like, this is great service. This lady has not left our side the entire time. She's told us that all the prices of everything we've touched.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, it's crazy, man. It's wild. She even brought her gun to protect us. Isn't that? Incredible service. That's so great. They were never greeted. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Not invited back. Employees were all bunched together gossiping and made them feel very uncomfortable. We won't be back ever. If you don't look the, quote, cowboy part, it's assumed you don't belong. You have to look like a cowboy to go in there. This is the cowboy store. But I suppose you can be buying gifts for anybody else. Are you buying gifts or you can be buying some shit for you?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah. Maybe I just got into this. It's a costume. I'm here to buy. I'm not wearing it every day. This is a special occasion thing. I don't know. Here's the thing about the Morgan Wallen concert.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Yeah, you know, big plans that night. Most of those people don't wear that shit. Not all the time, no. As we went over last week, yeah. He was there for work boots and prepared to drop some dough on them to get a nice pair, but I guess my daughter and husband don't fit in enough. Okay. Okay, that was Debbie.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Debbie's not happy. You don't want to piss off at Debbie. Shiley, one star, an employee followed me and my friend around the store the entire time we were there and stared from a distance. they do that. This is uncomfortable. Why are they doing it? What do they think they have? It's because every piece of thing,
Starting point is 00:10:08 merchandise they have is on the shelves and it's all outrageously priced. So I suppose they're just, I don't know, they're looking for a confrontation. Costco sells gold bars and they don't follow you around and stare at you. There's literally bars of gold
Starting point is 00:10:23 like fucking Scrooge McDuck cartoon. And they let you walk around at Will. If you're free will, you can steal them. big TV. They do wait until you get to the door to count every fucking thing you bought. That, as you know, is the bane of my existence. And they card you as you walk in.
Starting point is 00:10:40 You're going to card me at the register. If I don't have it, then all this is for not. Yeah. And they have a security guard at the door here. So we'll figure it out. Get some cameras for Christ's sake. Watch some people from the sky. All the employees, including a security guard, stared and gave us dirty looks as my friend
Starting point is 00:10:59 tried to purchase a pair of shoes. It didn't feel like a welcoming environment, and I am very dissatisfied in the treatment we received. All right. Kathy, one star. My husband bought a nice suit jacket. Huh? They have suit jackets here, too? Yeah, they do.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Yeah. What kind of suit? Like a Colonel Sanders? No, kind of. Like a, so are we talking like a really, like a Western-y type? Yeah, it's got like Paisley's all the shoulders. Like a Western funeral. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Yeah. Like one of your cowboy friends. died. Oh, that's bad. Yeah, oh, man. Okay, Corral was tragic. While Bill took it in the back of the head. We didn't even have a chance to turn around.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Wow. Wow. Oh, the sheriff been shot. Oh, man. Get the Paisley's. Get the Paisley lapels. Not Randolph Scott. Blazing sad.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Okay. That, in my opinion, was overpriced. I'm sure it's very overpriced. I guarantee it's fucking over price. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. Just to get to the checkout counter and have it wadded up and shoved in a bag. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Not on a hanger in a bag. Throw it in a few circles. It's probably a few hundred bucks, too. I guarantee it is. So that's crazy. Like, yeah. It's got silk on the inside. It's going to be a nice jacket.
Starting point is 00:12:21 I had to buy a suit jacket from Nordstrom's. That was nice. They sent it on a really nice hanger inside of a, like a garment bag. Yeah. Yeah, a fucking garment bag with like plastic over that. I was like, damn, this is put together. They put in the same bag, your boots go in. Wrap it up and shove it in there.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Matter of fact, we'll throw your jacket and put the boots on top of it. There you go. Wow. With what you pay for a nice jacket, they could at least leave it on the hangar. Nope, hangers stay here. They don't even ask it. I got it. These are for here hangers.
Starting point is 00:12:51 You fucking bet. They say boot barn on them. They belong here. Oh, that's horseshit. They don't even ask you if you want them. No. You ask for it next time. Can't have that?
Starting point is 00:13:01 I guarantee they say no. I want to keep it on the hanger. Hang it up. It's too nice. Hangers are on aisle six. Yes. We sell them. We got lots of them.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Holy shit. All right. V one star. Great selection of boots. The young man followed us everywhere we stepped in there. Everywhere is all caps, by the way. The wife and I felt extremely uncomfortable. So we left, went down the road to Cavendors.
Starting point is 00:13:28 We didn't get followed around and we were able to shop in peace and left out spending way too much money. Boot Barn, you have to do better. They got Julia Roberts essentially where they're like, you big mistake. And she went in and... Big mistake. They went down there. They came back dressed like dumb and dumber and they were like, big mistake. Huge.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Huge mistake. Fucking bags hanging off. I went to Sheppler's motherfucker. You have no idea. Big mistake. Fucking $8,000 pendleton jacket on. I'm going huge. Huge.
Starting point is 00:14:03 I'm sweating my ass off. Oh, it's 86 degrees outside, but look at me. I'm a cowboy. It's ready for 12 below. Oh, baby. This is Jimmy here. Full name, Jimmy Straight Man. How terrified are you going to love sucking dick?
Starting point is 00:14:26 Or, or he. He's going to duo, an all-jimmy comedy duo. I'm the straight man. But he's the straight man. He's the Dean Martin of the crew. What do you mean, Jerry? Well, let me tell you. Why's he got a straight man?
Starting point is 00:14:45 Jimmy straight man over here. One star. Well, maybe that's his gene cut. He's a cowboy. He's a straight man. Straight-leg guy. Yeah. One star.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Help was easy to find. Well, yeah, they're following you. You just turn around. Right there. Right there. All the time. But selection was horrible. Nothing but square toe boots.
Starting point is 00:15:05 It's the second square toe complaint me that. It is a problem. Literally no diversity or anything like things used to be when Drysdale's was in this location. You know, back in 67 when the Drysdale's closed. When they had every snip of toe up there. Oh, boy, any kind of toe you want. Sad. Just sad.
Starting point is 00:15:26 But if you like square toe. boots, there's all kind of selections, didn't know a real ranch hand and a cowboy wore square toes seems kind of hard to slide in the stirrup to me. No. I don't know. How often are you? I was going to say, how often are you sliding into a stirrup, Jimmy? When's the last stirrup you slid it?
Starting point is 00:15:45 I just mean the toe, it's not wider than your fucking foot. No. Is that why it's pointy to get it in the stirrup to begin with? The thing I always heard was that it makes it easier to kill the cockroach. in the corner when it... Well, yeah, that's the old... Yeah, the old bullshit. Which your grandpa would tell you.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I think the square toe makes it just easier to get your whole, your foot even in the front of it. That's the idea of it. And that would really help you kill the cockroaches in the corner because you could get it... Yeah, then you could just go in flat. Bang. Hit those bitches. You're done.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Yeah, you're really getting. And you get more cockroaches. Oh, more cockroaches per stop. The CPS ratio is huge on that one. Cockroaches per stomp. More cockroach surface. That's what I'm saying. Elsie, one star, some of the lous customer service I've ever experienced.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Employees are very rude and do nothing but stand around and gossip. Just a gossiping. Just to chitter-chattering about everybody. Very unprofessional. I doubt any of them know a thing about Western life. I guaranteeing T. They work retail. Wichita. They work retail in Wichita. These people, these kids go to college.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah, what do you think? They do this just on the weekends, but during the week, they're out on the range. And then they're like, well, I got a shift down of the old boot barn here. Cut one out of the herd. Oh, boy, hold on. Yeah, I got a sick horse, but I'm going to leave them behind because my boot barn shift starts at 10.30. My horse has got an abscess, but I got a shift down to boot barn. so that abscess going to have to wait. Sorry, buddy. Sorry, old friend.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Jason one star. Great selection, but the staff, guess what they did? Did they follow them around? Followed us around. And then a security guard sat and watched us like we were criminals. Probably won't go back. My wife was very uncomfortable. All these two, they're not like groups of guys.
Starting point is 00:17:51 It's always a husband and wife. And you fucking thieves. fucking piece of shit. I dare you. Bonnie and Clyde every time. You have fucking Clint Eastwood over there going to make my day. You guys pan on the sick shooter. Hey, calm down.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Can I just put my Amex card at the front mirror with your clerk and so you know I'm buying shit? This is crazy. I'm scared. Bruno one star. But I will say this. Best Buy has slowly turned into this too. Have you been in a Best Buy store recently?
Starting point is 00:18:22 It is fucking crazy. how they're lost prevention. Not since the Obama administration probably, I think. And they're all giant fucking guys at the register, or at the, between the two sliding doors. They got a giant bouncer there looking from the
Starting point is 00:18:38 sky. I left, I left with a TV, and the guy goes, I already saw it on the receipt. I was monitoring the purchase. You were what? What? I know you paid for it. I was watching. You were watching. That is crazy.
Starting point is 00:18:54 What do I look like? Jesus. Crazy. Fix your stores up, so I'll go with them rather than spending money on security. Yeah. Unbelievable. All right. Bruno one star, large stock of jeans, but the clerk at checkout was a total bitch.
Starting point is 00:19:11 You bitch. You boot-pawking bitch. What's he say? You don't even really. A 44. You think you're going to fit in this 44? All right. Come on, buddy.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Gene slinging skank. Uh, won't go back. Hounded for email and birth date or threatened you couldn't return any items. You don't give us your email and birthday. You can't return anything. What? Give me a receipt. I'll return this all I fucking want.
Starting point is 00:19:37 All I want. Thought about it? Returned items. Drysdale's RIP. Okay. This Drysdale's so bad. Yeah. Spoke up in hushed tones around these parts.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Driesdale's. Uh, Benny, one star. Yeah. As I looked around shopping. the girls working walked by rolling their eyes. One person asked my husband what he was looking for. Work boots, exclamation point, they say. She said steel toes.
Starting point is 00:20:07 He said, yes, ma'am. She huffed, said over there and walked off, won't be back. What? Sounds like they said, what you're looking for? Work boots, steel toes? Yeah, that over right over there. Yeah. That's help.
Starting point is 00:20:23 That's you got help. What did you want to? Oh, no. Here, grab them by the hand and hold it on top and bottom. Come on, sir, here. Let me show you that here are these. Can I hold on a second. Unzip your pants. I'm going to suck your dick while you look at these. What more do you want for these people? What she said is they're over there and then she walks away, which means, go see, holler at me when you need a size. Exactly. What kind of service do you need? That's what I mean. How much service do you need. Measure my foot and stitch the fucking boot in front of me. Customize it to me. Can you put my initials on the side like a, like a number. 80s wrestler please. Yeah, these aren't fucking bespoke, you piece of shit. Jesus Christ. All the pants were a size 30 long or shorter.
Starting point is 00:21:03 No real long pants like Drysdale's used to have. God damn, Drysdale. Why did they close if there was so fucking great? I'm a 36 inseam. Nancy, you're a, Nancy's a 36? You should be in the WNBA for Christ's sake. Jesus, that's tall. Yeah. That is, that's fucking longer than I wear. And I'm six four. Yes, she's got to be six, two, right? She's got to be fucking six, seven.
Starting point is 00:21:28 I'm six, four, and that's longer than me. So that's, wow. I only, the only pair I found to be long were 32 inches, and they were bell bottoms. It's called boot cut. I believe is, yeah, in this. Christ, bell bottoms. Shut up. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Cole wants a bell one star. I walked in and told him I needed two pairs of boots. The gentleman tried to help me, but it was his first day in the boot department. And I got a pair of. 10 wide. I wear 10 regular. Wide is what I was given. I didn't think to check when I got to the checkout. I was told no warranty
Starting point is 00:22:01 on the boots. I asked for quarters for the turnpike and was told we don't give change. You're not getting quarters at the boot barn. This is on you now. Hi, can I have turnpike cash? No. Here's your boots. Fuck your turnpike change. Yeah. Stop at a 7-Eleven. I will not be doing any
Starting point is 00:22:18 shopping there anymore. All right. Almost done with boot barn here. one star, was looking forward to spending a few hundred dollars on new boots for my mom and I. Wow. Looking forward to it. I love throwing money away. But the manager and workers wouldn't call another location on a size they didn't have. Then the manager decided to be disrespectful and have nothing to say over poor customer service.
Starting point is 00:22:44 They wouldn't call a place, another location. Gary, one star, went in looking for shorts. You know what they don't wear a lot of on the ranch? Shorts. Short pants. Short pants. That's what children wear. It's usually how that word.
Starting point is 00:23:02 No shorts in the entire store, even with help from staff. They're going to make shorts for you. Either they have shorts or they don't. This is a different, I mean, you could buy some jeans and cut them, but it's not what this is. We'll cut them off for you. Yeah. They're not saying adults shouldn't wear shorts. I'm saying on a ranch, someone with shorts as a child.
Starting point is 00:23:19 It's a child. Yeah. It's a non-working person. Dallin, that's a cowboy name. Dallin? One star, they treat their customers like trash, and they treat their employees worse. He's for the people, this guy. Johnny Cash is leaving a review.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I've witnessed an associate talking down on another associate like they were trash. God don't make no trash. Let me tell you something, buddy. Tell us what they said. Oh, my God's not going to tell you. You know why? Yeah, because I'm not trying to tell you. I don't go talking bad on people.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I'm cowboy. I ain't going to talk bad on nobody now. I heard what I heard and I keep it to myself till the day I die. Yeah. To the day I'm bucked off that great bowl in the skies is when I'll tell. They get straight to my grave.
Starting point is 00:24:04 And I'm going to tell Peter at the pearly gates. Yeah. That's what I'm going to tell. Don't let that some bitch in here. Don't you let that some bitch from the boot bar in Wichita location store number 42. Talking down. All right.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I will not drink my little heaven whiskey. Oh, hell no. All right, let's get off the range and off the ranch and head to New York City. New York City. New York City. Forty-second Street and 6th Avenue. Right in the heart of the city, too, man. Bryant Park Winter Village, this is called.
Starting point is 00:24:40 What is this? It's because since it's now December, we're getting into here. It's a seasonal thing. It's a holiday season. Bryant Park Winter Village. This has got, by the way, 4.6. six stars at a 1500 reviews. And it's an ice skating place.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Oh, boy. In Bryant Park. They open up the ice skating rink and it looks to be a pretty goddamn big ice skating area here. All right. Let's get into this here. Jackie five stars. The Christmas market has been on my bucket list for quite a while and I'm so glad I finally got there.
Starting point is 00:25:13 It was busier than normal, even for a Saturday, as it was a long holiday weekend. Yeah, that's going to happen. Yeah. I loved walking around and checking out the shops, dozens and dozens to choose from. Also, come hungry as there's tons of yummy food choices from lunch, dinner options to all kinds of yummy desserts, plus hot cocoa and cider. Highly recommended. Also, it's New York fucking city. They have everything. Also, yeah, walk 10 feet away from it and you can get anything you want at any time you want. All right. One star for William. Seriously, one of the worst experiences this. holiday season. It was so crowded, like an almost unbearable level of people. You know, like Midtown fucking Manhattan during the holidays.
Starting point is 00:25:59 An unbearable amount of people, yeah. Packed, yeah. And all for the same stores that are at Union Square Market and some overpriced food. Save your money in time, go somewhere else. I've never wanted to not be in a place like I felt today. Horrific experience for the holiday season. literally because it's crowded. Right. Which, you know why I wouldn't go there? Too crowded.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Too many people. Yeah. You should know ahead of time. It's going to be crowded if we go there. Yeah, that's what you're dealing with when you go to things like that. Yeah, absolutely. It's a Christmasy thing. There's going to be some fucking TV.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Yeah, shit that's open for a month like that too. It's a come on, man. Hannah, one star. As an experienced ice skater, the place is super crowded. Yeah, sorry you can't pop off a triple axle in the middle of the fucking family skate time. This is not where you're practicing for the Olympics, I don't think, right? You're just taking your kids to
Starting point is 00:26:55 try not to break tailbones. Find a secluded place that you rent and nobody will be there. There you go. Yeah. And find some like Eastern European guy to yell at you and possibly molest you. That's what you do. That's how you become an Olympian. Yeah. Well, most likely, more than likely.
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Starting point is 00:31:58 It's the holiday season, Jimmy. I'm trying to be fucking trying to take it up. Positive. So the place is super crowded. but staff are aggressive skaters and they don't seem to be able to maintain safety measures. So the staff are skating too, aggressively, apparently. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Not everyone who can ice skate can be a, quote, staff. Oh. They should be more differentiated one. Yeah. Doesn't mean they should. They don't care about groups of amateur people being stuck in the lane and doing dangerous jump attempts that can injure many others.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. Really unprofessional site management. They only seem to chase those professionals but in reality, professionals don't hurt. Only amateurs could impose safety concerns. This person did some shit and got yelled that for it and was mad because they let some dipshit or doesn't know what they're doing,
Starting point is 00:32:48 do it and didn't get yelled at. No problem. Yeah. And this is not a problem of being amateurs or professionals playing or practicing. It is about the weak site management team who failed to be responsible for everyone's safety. You should pay for ice time somewhere.
Starting point is 00:33:02 Sorry. I mean, you're going to have to pay to go here. Right. Go inside. TZ, one star, paid $45 to get my skates sharpened the same day and came back to the info desk one point five hours later for them to tell me all the skates were mixed up with others. Oh, no. I don't know which ones are yours. That's crazy. We don't have them. We don't have them. How do you do that? I mean, we have them. They're in there. They're in there. But there's a lot. We don't know which is which. It's said they all look. Let me guess, white. metal blades on the bottom.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Yeah, we have a lot of those. Chrome rivets, white laces, white chute. Yeah, it seems. There's a lot of those. Can you smell them? Can you, do you know you're set to your own feet? Is that a thing? Very disappointed considering other places will charge $25 for same-day sharpening.
Starting point is 00:33:55 I would be disappointed that other places will return the skates you gave them, probably, without losing them, I would think. Highly suggest looking elsewhere to get your skates sharpened. Wow, this is. People complaining about shop, skating, sharpening. Natasha, one star, so overcrowded. Can't sit and food lines are long that take an hour. The bathroom lines are two blocks long. Please save your valuable time, unlike I did.
Starting point is 00:34:22 And she says the restrooms so bad, just buy something at a store five blocks away to go to the bathroom. Just pay to pee. It's better than this. Go elsewhere. Go elsewhere. Stephen one star. Do not buy the empanadas. Oh, what's the ice skating place?
Starting point is 00:34:38 I didn't know I could get empanadas here, particularly the maranita flavor. Aid it, got food poisoning, and threw up. Oh, damn it. Okay. Interesting. Sean, one star. Three weeks into fall, summer ended last month, and winter village open now. I love the December slash winter holidays, but shame on corporate America and sponsor
Starting point is 00:35:03 trying to overshadow all the holidays and traditions in between. He said, how dare you disrespect Thanksgiving? Listen, I'm here to talk to you. My friend Halloween came and he talked to me and he said, listen, they're squeezing me right now. You know, this ain't your time. Yeah. Your time is last week of November and onward. That's it.
Starting point is 00:35:24 It's overweight. What are we talking about? You coming to, what are you, November 2nd? What is that? You get the whole end of the year now. Thanksgiving could go fuck himself. Two more. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:37 I don't think so. So, Spectator gives one star. Terrible experience. Kicked out without warning or reason after someone else fell in front of me. They thought, you made them fall. I believe is why you got kicked out. It seems like, yeah. Staff, rude, unfriendly, and impolite.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Overpriced as well. And overpriced. Just to throw that in there. Zygum, one star. Waiting for the food errands cart on the northern corner of Bryant Park. This isn't even the establishment. This is a food cart that's there. Just so you know, this is about something else.
Starting point is 00:36:15 This is about a McDonald's and pencil tuckie. Yeah, just to let you know, even though I'm putting it here. Charged me $16.5 for chicken over rice. Market rate is 9 to 10. Watch out. Well, then why'd you pay it? No, the prices are listed on those carts, man, all over. to the city.
Starting point is 00:36:33 16.5, 16.5, he said. Which market rate is nine to ten. Well, that's not what it is here. Right. Market rate depends on where you are. That's the other thing. Yeah, go out to a borough. I'm sure it's nine to ten if you're in fucking queens or something.
Starting point is 00:36:51 Changes a bit. Yeah, Midtown Manhattan and a holiday thing. Guess what? A little more expensive. L in one star. I had an awful experience. The own staff was, I guess, their own staff. Their own staff was doing dangerous movements, and when it ends, the staffs didn't find my shoes.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Oh. We stand for half hour, and manager was super rude, super disorganized. I don't recommend. I don't either. So, yeah, she, and her picture was like looking at the Statue of Liberty, so she apparently likes New York a lot here. Mr. Hello gives one star. Yeah. They're watching you in all your homes secretly, just like the K.B.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Who is? That's the whole, I don't know, because that's the entire review for a Christmas Village. The ice skaters are watching you at home. They're watching you in all your homes secretly just like the KGB. That's right. I do a lot of tugging. Oh, I think they're tired of watching you tug by now.
Starting point is 00:37:56 I think they're just like, let Jimmy tug. He's fine. Let him get over. He's doing it again, boss. Stop watching him. That's all he does. It's 10.30, obviously. Jesus, you knew when he's going to do it.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Okay. And then finally, David, one star. One of the biggest disappointments of my stay in NYC. It's crowded. One of the biggest. It's crowded, crowded, crowded. Not just crowded. He's crowded, crowded, as Master P once wrote.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I think it wasn't bad about it. He was crowded, crowded, I believe, is what he was saying. And there's a terrible smell. I do not That's urine is what you're smelling. Yeah, that's the city, babe. Yeah. I do not recommend it.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Avoid this point on the map in autumn and winter. Crowded. All right. From there, let's go have a party, Jimmy. What do you say? Let's throw a kid's birthday party at happy party. Where is this? It's the name of the place.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Happy party, children's party service. This is in Mexico. Nice. Guadalupe. Mexico, Mexico. Not New Mexico. Old Mexico here. Four point three stars it has.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Wow. Not bad. It's in Guadalupe. Wow. I don't even know how this fucking address works. So I'm going to. Okay. Angie, five stars.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Nice place, even though the place is not very big. The children have fun. Okay, that's good. Well, that's all you're looking for here. Santiago, five stars. This is all cats. This is you rarely see aggressive complimenting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:36 It's usually all caps is you did something wrong. Right. Yeah. Excellent service. Very good facility. The adults were comfortable and will served and the children were more than happy. Thanks to the staff in general. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Okay. Calm down, Santiago. Jesus Christ. It's fine. And he's got some pictures of the kids hanging out. Who the fuck is that? Oh, that is a. What kind of Mexican superhero is that?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Is that like a... I don't know what that is. It's like a knockoff superhero. Yeah, but it's some sort of like a crypto cat. Yeah, it's like a tight, like latex like leather. Yeah. Leather like, you know, superhero outfit with like a lone ranger mask and cat ears on. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:21 I don't know what... I don't think that's from this country, that's superhero. Okay. Here is CR, three stars. Full review. children's parties. Oh. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Thanks for that. That's all he's got to say. They do that here. Naili, one star. Okay. Terrible service. Zero percent recommended. We've never got that one before.
Starting point is 00:40:47 That's an original. I like that. Yeah. My event was last weekend. It wasn't fully air conditioned. My guests were 60. 60 guests or 60 years old is my question. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Yeah, that's a good question. One of the two. Very few, and several complained about the heat. The upstairs area wasn't even completely hot. Okay? I was told they had a parking lot two blocks away that was a warehouse, but on the day of the event, it wasn't. A warehouse or parking?
Starting point is 00:41:18 Again, specific. So many questions. So many questions. Many struggled to find one. That sounds like it's from like a Ken Burns documentary. Many struggled to find one. They had a guy on duty, but that wasn't an... enough.
Starting point is 00:41:32 No? The stairs, no, apparently not. The stairs to get on to the inflatable, which aren't very suitable for small children to get on and off, the steps are very narrow. That's one thing in Mexico. These safety regulations are a little different than they are here. We went down there when my little brother was about four years old, and they let him go in that, well, my mother's an idiot for letting him do it, but they also should, I was
Starting point is 00:41:56 like, they're going to allow this? He was four, you know those big, like, slingshot things where the kids, they let him do that when he was four. Wow. And I'm like, this can't be safe. And they're like, no, no, but there was no, like, anything. I didn't see like a, you know, an A rating on the thing. There was no, it was just free for all on the beach in Rosarito.
Starting point is 00:42:16 They didn't give a fuck. It was crazy. Yeah, it was a fuck it situation. They have a slide, which, because it's very high, requires a lot of momentum when going down. One girl fell hard on the way down and hurt her back. That'll be recurring. I don't want to think what would happen to a younger person. The staff was so completely unhelpful, they weren't attentive to give the guest's needs.
Starting point is 00:42:41 They kept needing glasses. They kept needing glasses. The refilled water wasn't very fresh. That's not good. Nope. Unfresh Mexican water is bad. That's just Mexico, actually. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:54 There weren't enough ice cubes, which also had to keep asking for. The worst part was they forgot to feed all the children. You don't forget to feed a bunch of children. They just were like, we're not going to feed these children. Fuck these kids. Most of the guests didn't eat because they only had one table and it wasn't enough for everyone. More than one guest told me about the poor service at this venue. The manager justified himself by stating that what I mentioned wasn't true and that he would send me proof that all the children ate, which I know wasn't the case.
Starting point is 00:43:27 That's not true. but he didn't send anything. What do you have? Pictures of the kids eating and turn around a mouth full of fucking cassidia. You're supposed to rent a venue with services so you can enjoy the event and not keep asking for your guests to be served. Terrible, really. Okay, it sounds like it. Daniela one star.
Starting point is 00:43:47 They forgot to serve us food. Again, they don't think forgetting is the thing that's happening here. It was very hot and they were playing dangerous games. Dangerous games. Sounds like a threat. They're hunting the children. The most dangerous. Children, the most dangerous game.
Starting point is 00:44:12 That's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. Okay. That sounds like a threat too. Motherfucker, you're playing dangerous games. You hear that shit in the street. Take five steps back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Wow. The worst part is that if something were to go wrong, as can happen in any. restaurant. The staff doesn't listen to customers. They're rude. They don't apologize, nor do they treat complaints as an opportunity for improvement. As most people don't. There's no owner or responsible person on duty. They only had two young people serving and they expect them to resolve everything. The children are going to resolve everything? Yeah, the one's working there. A van, one star. Good prices. Facility could be improved. The staff leaves a lot to be desired.
Starting point is 00:44:59 I had to chase them around to make sure they didn't leave any of my guests unattended. They offered coax for the meal. You got food? Good for you. You're lucky fuck. But only brought out three bottles. And whenever I told them I was missing some, they told me they already had flavored water. Terrible.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I'd like more cook. No, we already gave them Kool-Aid. Fuck off. All right. Never mind. Guess we're not thirsty. They're not allowed to have any more Coke. Alex one star horrible service, no parking.
Starting point is 00:45:32 The slide was too dangerous. My daughter almost broke her tailbone. Yeah, that's going to be the coxick cracker, they call that. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy. Yeah, they didn't serve the kids any food. They forgot. Sorry, we forget.
Starting point is 00:45:47 I think they, unless you really remind them, they're going to forget. They're very forgetful on the food. Not recommended at all. And then the response from the owner, Good afternoon. The photos have already been sent to your wife. Have a nice afternoon. Fuckhead.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Should have been on the end of that one. Melissa, one star. It does not have parking. Response from the owner. Hello, Miss Melissa. The parking lot is two blocks away and opens when the outside area is full. Only eight or nine cars arrived at your event, which is why it wasn't used. You lonely bitch.
Starting point is 00:46:24 You dummy. You couldn't get more than eight or nine. people here, you piece of garbage. Have a nice day at the end. You scumby, no friend heaven, bitch. Juan, two stars. The place is very nice, but there are only four parking spaces, and I'm not sure how far away the other guest park. Two blocks from what I understand. It's a little ways. It's a little ways. It's in a warehouse. I don't know. The children's play area has a slide with an almost 45 degree incline. Okay. How do you? Okay. Incline or decline?
Starting point is 00:47:00 Because it's a slide. Well, yeah. Depends on how you're trying to do it. It's really hard to get up, man. I'm telling you, I run and run and run and can't get up there. Should be around 30. God damn. All kinds of wrong here.
Starting point is 00:47:12 At a height of over four meters. Who is this person? Twelve feet. Yeah, this is we got a ruler and a fucking micrometer and a compass out. Getting the degrees down. Yes, pro-tractor going. 45. Okay, the result, children falling at super speed to the ground and stopping on the tables and chairs.
Starting point is 00:47:33 So they just fall until they take the tables and chairs out like bowling pins. Yeah, this is Mexico. That's what you get down there. You go there to do this, though. That's why you go there because it's fun. Yeah. And stopping on tables and chairs. We had to ask them to close that part of the play area because the children were coming down at really fast.
Starting point is 00:47:52 The second floor floor play area has. two sections. The first, visible from below, has a couple of TVs with video games, a foosball table, and an air hockey table. The back of the second floor has an inflatable structure that's hidden from view, which is frankly, again, quite dangerous. Everything here is dangerous. It's bullshit. Oh, my God. So there we go. There is, what was that party time or whatever it was? Happy party. Happy party Mexican birthday party where you don't get food and you're a liar. So you're a liar because you said you didn't get food. And I already set your wife the pictures.
Starting point is 00:48:32 The pictures have a nice afternoon. No more fuck for water, you piece of shit. You piece of shit. Drink your Kool-Aid, loser. So from Mexico, let's drive on back through across the border. Yeah. We're driving across the border and we're going to stop. We're real tired.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Let's just stop right in Hollywood. Let's just do that. All right. What do they got? It's right in Hollywood. Let's stop at the, oh boy, the budget in. Oh, boy. Oh, the dude.
Starting point is 00:49:00 At 6830 Sunset Boulevard. Oh, my God. Do not. Do not. I cannot repeat this hard enough. Do not go there. Never, never. Unless you're literally like, well, I'm going to be a prostitute for the remainder.
Starting point is 00:49:18 That's a good place to live. If you're like, you know what, I think I'm going to smoke myself, smoke crap. and just until I dissolve. It's a good place for it. Or really, I haven't been murdered yet. I think I'd like to be murdered. This would be a great place for that. This is not a good area.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Holy. Bad stuff. Yeah. It has 2.6 stars, by the way. And even on here it says two star hotel. Yikes, you should know what you're doing. You're not making good choices. No, this is you've literally panhandled
Starting point is 00:49:53 decent amount today and you're going to stay here. This is in Los Angeles, $66 to stay here. Who, we, yeah. Wow. This is crazy shit. Not good. All right, let's find out. Here's the first review, five stars.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Who gave this five stars? Where did you stay the night before? What have you done? In a ditch? Like, where did you stay? Yeah. In fucking, in Buffalo Bill's fucking floor hole? Where were you staying?
Starting point is 00:50:20 Like, what the fuck, man? Not good. Wow, five out of five. I read many of the reviews here, and I wonder why so, why people are so angry and unfair. Oh, what? They're so entitled, they want a luxury hotel standard for the pennies they pay for a tiny motel. The Karen O meter is off the charts. Ah, you paid shit money to a place at two stars.
Starting point is 00:50:48 You should know this place sucks. You know what? This is actually, okay, yeah. I paid for shit and I got shit. It's the best deal ever. That's it. I know what I'm getting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:58 Anyway, the motel staff are kind and very polite. They are always welcoming and helpful and respectful. This inn offers in, like it's a quaint countryside. Yeah. I picture like a lady bringing you breakfast on a tray. Like, none of that is happening here. There's a croissant on the bedside in the morning. Your syringe, sir.
Starting point is 00:51:20 That's what they bring you, and it's all on a silver platter with a knacking under it. We boil it. Your syringe has been cleaned in the toilet, sir. We boiled your rigs, sir. Good God. Like dope sick love when they just go to a Burger King and clean it in the toilet water? We've run it through the lobby toilet water, sir. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Then we ran a lighter over the syringe end. It should be fine. We've polished the bent spin. It wasn't easy, but, uh... Oh, our kitchen hands scraped all the burnings off of it. He used spit. They spitz signed you bed spoons. You bed spoons, sir.
Starting point is 00:52:05 This should fit right round your finger just fine. Somehow they got cockney in a minute and a second. I boiled your rig. Oh, my God. It's so good. The great prices. The rooms are basic and one should review it for what it is. This is not an alliance rating system.
Starting point is 00:52:21 No, it's not a Michelin either. It's not a Michelin Star, nothing. This is an absolute shithole. This is a star rating based on what is offering. I had a pleasant and safe stay. One time I had a human being who is unhoused. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:52:40 What else? How many more words can you use to say homeless? Yeah. Is it insulting to say homeless really? I don't think so. Unhoused and homeless are the same. same fucking thing. It's the same thing.
Starting point is 00:52:56 So to go out of your way to say a human being who is a homeless guy? Yeah, a homeless guy. Homeless person. Save person. What the fuck are we talking about here? And I feel the world. I, oh, I think about homeless. A more sympathetic.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I was homeless. I was not unhoused. I was fucking homeless. Oh, drives me crazy. Homeless is homeless. Okay. Anyway. Knocking, but I didn't open as I was asleep and they never came back.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Well, that's good. I never had any issues with cleanliness. I asked for new sheets and all that. This is a basic place and is one of the best basic places I ever been to. One of the best. He ever been to. This guy stays the basic ones all the time. That's right.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Location is great if you're looking for drugs or, you know, things like that. Boiled rigs. I don't drive, so I don't know what the parking situation is like. But again, please don't be a Karen and expect a Ritzcarlin. when you pay the equivalent of a can of soda at the Ritz for a night here. Is that one? Okay. I don't think you're that expected.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Are they $60? I mean, I guess I've got to stay. I don't think that's true. You've got to stay there and get some soda, I guess. That better taste amazing. Better be great soda. $60 Coke? Shit.
Starting point is 00:54:09 Oh, man. Roxy, three stars. Good location, but scary at night for a female, as I would imagine. I don't give a fuck what genitalia. have, that is a terrifying area once the sun goes down. Yeah, yeah, even guys are afraid for rape in that area. Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:27 It's cover up all your holes when you get around there past about midnight. Down when, never mind, I'm not going to. There's a lot. Devin, one star. I would give no stars if possible.
Starting point is 00:54:43 It is possible, Devin. It is. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say no stars. Come on. If I, I I would. What a dump. No parking. You have to edge down an alleyway to a tiny parking lot in the back that you basically get stuck in just to see there's no way to park there. Just to get into the lot to look and see you can't park there means you're stuck there.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Then you have to park on the street and be out there at 6 a.m. to move your car so you don't get towed. Then there are the rooms full of cigarette burns, dirty sheet sledge, pillowcases, washroom is disgusting and tiny. You can hardly sit on the toilet, but you probably wouldn't even want to. We had crackheads slash homeless people knocking at the door asking for things. We left. Honestly, I'd rather sleep in the car. Do not book anything here. You will regret it.
Starting point is 00:55:33 You probably will. Yeah, that seems about right. Janice, one star. Parking was beyond small. I couldn't park my Chevy Colorado in the only space is available. Oh. Which one is that? That's the small pickup.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Okay. And they don't have the S-10 anymore. Mid-size. It's a mid-sized pickup truck. It's smaller and silverado. Bigger than what the S-10 would have been back in the day, though. Yeah, yeah. The room was filled with flies.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Well, that means something's been dead there recently. Right. Or something for them to eat. Yeah. Yeah, they don't just hang out places willy-nilly. Sorry, we already checked in. We're using this room. It's a fly-y-out-checkout.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yeah. Hey, listen, we're not leaving until two. Hey, go away. I checked the mattress and saw bedbugs poop. I don't know if that's bedbugs and poop or bedbug poop or what they're trying to say there. I mean, bedbugs usually the indicator is their shit. So I suppose. But you've got to be able to recognize bedbugs poop.
Starting point is 00:56:33 You've got to get down there with a fucking with a microscope or like a magnifying glass. I don't have eyesight that can see. Bedbugs are small. They're shit's even smaller. What am I looking for Carmen San Diego here? I'm going to whip my shit out. No, I don't have my magnifying glass on me to do this. Tiny shits.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Look for these tiny, tiny shits like you were saying. Okay, so we asked about the parking and was told to take that spot park on the street. There are two hotels side by side with the same manager, but we couldn't use the other hotels parking and wouldn't let us pay to use their parking. The young lady was nice, and I know she had to follow policy, but better. Bugs and flies were a no-go. Didn't even stay one night. Yeah, you don't want to do that there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:21 By the way, they put under things, rooms, because they have rooms, location, whatever. Rooms, horrible, safety, sketchy. Sketchy. That's good. Jennifer, one star, came from Joplin, Missouri to visit my son. Oh, boy. He paid for two.
Starting point is 00:57:38 He put his mom here. Someone who lives in Los Angeles knows the general area said, I'm going to have my mother stay at a fucking street drug, dick sucking drug shooting motel. That's where I'm going to put my mom. What a bad son. You put your mom there? Wow. Why are you so mad at her?
Starting point is 00:58:01 What did she do to you? My God, I hope she did something terrible to you. Had to be. He paid for two nights so we could rest and visit comfortably. So this is where we checked in. For the price, the room should be clean. Now, for this price in Los Angeles, for this price in Joplin, it should be a suite with a fucking butler service. But in Los Angeles, this gets you nothing.
Starting point is 00:58:27 A closet where another guy's already asleep. What this gets you is somewhere where you feel unwelcome. Yeah. It should at least have a mini fridge of some sort. Really? It doesn't have that? No. Blood spatters on the walls.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Because people have been murdered there. That's why. Was told we had to park on the street. Thank God we had grabbed toilet paper from home. There was two towels only for the two nights. We wouldn't have had none. We wouldn't have had none. No towels.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Are they using, oh, okay, I'm confused how the toilet paper and the towels go together, but that's fine. I don't know how they do things in Joplin, so I'm going to, I'm going to look past it. When we asked about parking, Harry at the desk said no parking and lot have to park on the street. So when I woke up, my car was towed off or stolen. It would. Well, probably either one around there. Yeah. You never know.
Starting point is 00:59:24 So found out it was towed for reasons due to Harry telling me we didn't need any tag for our car to show we was guests slash customers. We was guest slash customers where we were staying. Okay. there you go that's her got a truck or car towed because they told her to park there
Starting point is 00:59:46 they told her to park there now she has to Uber back to the airport to get back to Joplin and she thought she could put like a like a tag out there like the L.A like the meter people would give two shits about whether you're staying at this budget in or whatever
Starting point is 01:00:00 I have been to hotels where they give you that and then you just put it on the dash and then it just I guess it here no you can't park on fucking Sunset. Are you kidding me? They don't have authority over the parking, the street parking laws there. You can't just leave your car on fucking sunset. No, just leave it forever for the daytime. Okay, Tress One Star. The most disgusting place I've ever been. Not hotel, not a place. Place. Location. I didn't even, I didn't even comfortable touching the door handles. You can see why I have trouble reading that. I didn't even comfortable touching the, yeah, I guess it did feel.
Starting point is 01:00:39 drug addicts knocking on my door. Seems like that's common. Staff was rude. Do yourself a favor and stay somewhere else. Floors and sheets were dirty. Towels were blue probably to hide the filthiness. I've never been to a hotel that had blue towels before. That's a bad sign.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Have you? No. They're white to show you that there's no... Always. To let you know this motherfucker's clean. Bottle fluids on it. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:01:04 And if it does get dirty, guess what? Bleach gets fucking everything out and kills everything. And guess, you know, it's weird? At home, I've never had white towels. At home, you have colored towels. Yeah, because I know I'm not jizzing, shitting, or bleeding into it. I know it's into them. And if it is, it's my jizz, shit, and blood.
Starting point is 01:01:22 It's my jizz, shit, and blood. Damn it. If I want to wipe it all over myself, it's my business. Yeah. My business. Thomas, one star. He writes, one star review. Right.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Okay. We've been there. We get you. Unsafe, filthy, and. of smoke, do not stay here. The only positive thing I can say about budget in Hollywood is that the sheets, toilet, and sink were clean. That's shocking.
Starting point is 01:01:47 You've got a great room. Wow. The staff was friendly and they had a new TV with HBO. Oh, that's great. That's great. Beyond that, this place is an absolute disaster. I'm not even sure it's legally operating in this condition. That's great.
Starting point is 01:02:03 I don't even sure this could pass, whatever. The room was damp and reeked of cigarette smoke so badly that I had to take all my clothes to a laundromat after switching hotels. Whoa. Oh, Jesus. There was no heat and the water barely got lukewarm. The towels were blue and stained with bleach marks. You fucking hope those are bleach marks.
Starting point is 01:02:23 You better... You pray to God those are bleach marks. And every surface had chunks missing. Burn marks were everywhere, likely from drug paraphernalia. Probably. The AC unit was broken. The windows didn't lie. and there was no ice machine available.
Starting point is 01:02:41 No hair dryer, no, no condoner. What the fuck's a conditioner? Conditioner. Yeah, it's conditioner. Yeah. Condonor is what's that. No condoner, man. Guy standing there going, that's fine to do.
Starting point is 01:02:57 That's okay. That works. That activity's okay. I approve. I approve. Co-sign. No condoner. That's a great wrestler.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I'm the condone. I'm coming to get you, brother. I'm coming to just back you up at anything you want to do, brother, because you know what? I think whatever you're doing is fine, and I approve of it because I'm the condoner. No ironing board or slash iron, no hangers, just the barest of, quote, amenities.
Starting point is 01:03:29 On top of the terrible condition, the place felt completely unsafe. That's because it is completely unsafe, sir. It's a good reason for that. Bingo. You got it. People were coming and going all night and being loud and disruptive. Nine different people pounded on my door looking for others. Hey.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Anybody else here? Kevin here? No. All right. Bobby here. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Nine.
Starting point is 01:03:58 One was clearly trying to make a drug deal. Well, it was good shit. You should have talked to him. Maybe it was good for it. This was beyond sketchy and made for an incredibly uncomfortable and unsafe stay. despite the terrible conditions, they still had the nerve to charge a large deposit, which was outrageous given how run down the place was. It's funny, you go to a nice hotel, there's no deposit. It's right, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:20 You never. You go to a nice Marriott or something? No deposit. You go to a shit hole, $100 on the counter, motherfucker. It's so weird. Right now. You can't check in. The bed had just had one very thin worn out blanket, which was useless in a room with no heat.
Starting point is 01:04:35 There are plenty of other budget-friendly hotels nearby. including the one right next door, that are far safer and cleaner. I strongly recommend staying anywhere else. This place is a health and safety hazard. Yeah, we stayed at the old vagabond there down the road. You have to go a little bit to Glendale, but it's right down the street. I mean, you can drive it. It's not far.
Starting point is 01:04:53 It's a much less. It's certainly not good. It's not great. But it's a lot better place. You wouldn't book it for your mom or anything, but it's for. I remember that. I remember that. Well, he's a comedian, too.
Starting point is 01:05:09 But for two comics who at the time had no money and had to share a room there, it's a very clean place. It was. It was. It was fine. It was fine. And, you know, you could just stand out there, smoke weed. Nobody cares. So it's good. Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck. Tim, one star. This is absolutely the worst food here I've ever stayed in. What? Food. Do they mean room and they wrote food? Maybe. I don't know. I can't see it. The F is right under the R. Yeah, but I can't see it being switched. But the D and the B or the D and the M are nowhere near each other.
Starting point is 01:05:45 So I don't know about that. Worst food I've ever stayed here in. Okay. I plainly stripped the sheets down and took the pillowcases off myself for housekeeping to clean my room and make my bed with fresh sheets. When I returned, she had just put the dirty sheets back onto the bed. You bitch. That is fucking horrible. Carrington one stuff.
Starting point is 01:06:08 are here. We'll do a couple more. Do not ignore the warnings like I did. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, boy. This place is absolutely disgusting, which is sad because they charge $100 plus a night. Might have been a Saturday or something. And the neighborhood is awesome, but it is not worth the money. It's a tourist. That's what a touristy shit is. That's all it is. I felt as if they intentionally tried to make it uncomfortable an uncomfortable experience. My room had baby roaches. Oh, isn't that cute? Baby roaches. They were babies. Baby roaches. Oh, that's sweet. You just play lullabies and they go right to sleep. It's fine.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Wait until you get the room with the big room, the grown-up roaches. Yeah. They're next door. They're smoking in there, drinking. We left the kids next door, man. It's okay. Just don't worry about it. We got a kid's room. We left the kids next door. It's okay. Yeah. We got him their own room. Shut the fuck up, man. It's okay. I'm good, brother.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Gambling next door. Yeah. He's like, we got him a room. Fuck you, dude. Leave me alone, man. Shut up. I'm a roach. Leave me alone. Okay, graffiti. That's nice in a room, too. A mildew smell. Blasting heat on an 80 degree day.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Excellent. Instead of changing and washing bedding, which they came in every day for room service to do, why, I don't know. They put back on the dirty, stained, smelly blankets we complained about. I think that's all they have. The service is terrible.
Starting point is 01:07:30 The entire hotel should just be condemned. The owners should not be allowed to be in business. Do not go. You are warned again. Wow, I guess so. All right. Let's do one more. And then we will call it a day because this is kind of a long one too.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Okay, Bobby, one star. Here we go. Very scary to say the least. Oh. We were woke up at 5 a.m. to a man screaming outside our door, quote, call the police. He has a gun. Don't let him shoot me.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Oh, my God. I believe every fucking word of that. All of it. Oh man, the man continued to scream this multiple times while a major argument was taking place. So then they're under the bed, I assume. Yeah. Then we heard two pops, gunshots, and a body thumped the floor. You heard a murder.
Starting point is 01:08:24 We listened to a murder. We listened to a man beg for help. We ignored him. Yeah. And then we heard him be murdered. We heard a man beg for help to save his fucking life. And we ignored it. We said,
Starting point is 01:08:38 Shh. Turn your ringer off so nobody knows we're in here. We were too busy exterminating baby roaches. Yeah, with our square boots. They're much better for getting in the corners, by the way. Do you know that? Like a meat tenderizer, block. Okay, this gets even better.
Starting point is 01:09:00 This got worse, I would say. Then a different man yelling, I told you I had a gun. motherfucker and I will shoot every motherfucker here. Sorry about your life ending. I'm not coming out of this room. Oh my God. I will kill again.
Starting point is 01:09:20 I'll kill more. Then the argument stopped. That'll end an argument. I will shoot every motherfucker here. There's only one person. An argument is two people. There's not two people anymore. Oh, my.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Yeah, it's just one guy. And everyone else is terrified to get. shot too. Moments later, a man starts yelling again. Call the cops. Help. The cops showed up and a man was hauled out by ambulance and the cops left. Upon opening the door to my room, there was blood everywhere. Yeah, because it was a shooting. That's why. There was a murder. There was a fucking murder that took place there. There was blood everywhere, bloody clothes laying on the floor. My child husband and I were completely horrified. You took a child here? You should have your kids It's taken from you.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Drive outside of L.A. and sit in your car in the desert. It's way safer. This is crazy. You can't do this. Drive to Orange County or something. What is wrong with you? The staff tried to tell me we were safe because they have cameras. We can watch you get murdered.
Starting point is 01:10:27 We're watching the replay of that last one all day. Yeah. We'll film it. And we can even send it to do two dickheads who do a show about reviews all the time and murder. too. Perhaps they'll see your murder. Yeah. I stated to them, yep, just as safe as the man that got shot because those cameras really helped him. Well, they didn't help him, but they will help them when important. We'll see. The staff then told me the people did not stay there, but yet they were in a room.
Starting point is 01:10:57 So did they break into the room? The staff acted and talked to me as if I was crazy. Like, it's just a murder. Who are you getting so uptight about? Those happen. And they were trying to convince me none of this happened. Murder, what murder? What do you mean? Stop talking about murders around. You're fucking up our business.
Starting point is 01:11:15 People just talking about murders all. I think this lady's obsessed with murder. She might be a murderer. I think she's planning to kill somebody. We're calling the police. We're calling the cops, lady. I'm sorry. I packed up my family and left immediately and yes, refund was denied.
Starting point is 01:11:30 Murder is no reason for a refund. Literally. close proximity murder is not There was a murder on your property I'd like to leave You're free to go but we're keeping your money You're not getting a dime back I'm sorry here There was a fuck oh my God
Starting point is 01:11:48 That okay Can you imagine I think any hotel I've ever stayed in Would be like yeah it was a murder Obviously we're losing everything Sure right next to your room especially At least the guy whose room is right next door Anybody who heard the person
Starting point is 01:12:03 begged for their life, then heard, I'll kill every motherfucker here. You all get refunds. I think at that point, if you'd like to leave, probably. What the fuck? People who just came up and went, I heard a couple of like loud pops. You don't get a refund. You don't even know what it was. If you heard a man being refused to not, the begging for his life.
Starting point is 01:12:31 That's a refund. Refund. Refund for you. It's a clearly stated policy right up here on the wall. See that right there? Refusal of begging for life, refund. Refund. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Pop, pop, fuck you. Fuck you. We'll send up new towels. Jesus, we're keeping your deposit, too. There's blood everywhere outside your room. I don't know how that happened. What'd you do? This is even crazy.
Starting point is 01:12:57 We were supposed to stay for 11 days. Holy shit. That's moving into the same. joint. You're spending $700 to stay here. What the fuck. Needless to say, that's not happening. No.
Starting point is 01:13:11 And we will leave it at that. Great. It gets even crazier, by the way. That is nothing compared to what's going on. A murder. It'll be worse. It'll be worse than that. Murder with no refund.
Starting point is 01:13:23 And it gets worse. So we'll start there and we'll finish that up next week. Until then, definitely check out our other two shows. Prime in Sports. and small town murder, which are exactly what they sound like, except funny. So check those out and get into all of that.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Head over to shut up and give me murder.com. Get all your merchandise. We got our skunt shirts and hats and hoodies here for the winner. So get in there, get those. And like we said, check out the other two shows. Tell your friends, leave rate and review. Give us five stars. Don't try to be funny, please.
Starting point is 01:13:56 Yeah, don't do that. So say if I can give six stars, I would. There you go. That's a good one for you. You can do that. So hang out with us there. Social media, tell your friends, all the shit helps. So thank you so much, everybody, and stay away from everywhere.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Sunset, for sure. And good luck with those cockroaches in the corner. Have a good one, everybody. See you next week. Bye.

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