Your Stupid Opinions - No Fat Corpses, Personal Horse Genitalia, After School Prison Yard, Camel Knuckle Buffet

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

This week, we find out about a Chinese buffet that seems to specialize in hidden insects & "camel knuckles". A funeral home that may have some odd standards in who they will dispose of. An after school program that looks like it runs like a prison yard. A very terrifying, very personal piece of barnyard anatomy & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Oh, my name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us. We have an absolutely wild and frustrating show of other people's opinions.

What's worse than that? Everyone loves their own opinions, but we all hate other people's opinions. So let's find out what people think about some things that we don't care about that's the fun here and once again have to say off the top these are not our opinions no these are not our reviews we're not you know embellishing them at all these are i've used very few of these matter of fact i wouldn't have a clue read written. That's what makes it so wonderful. And you want to follow also all the social media. We have social media for Instagram and Facebook and everything like that. Twitter for your stupid opinions.

And, of course, there's groups on Facebook, too, where there's tons of people in there doing lots of stuff. So hang out in there, too. That said, let's do this. Let's get right into this. Let's dip back in where we left off. We left off last week with an Atlanta-based psychic who claims to be Atlanta's best curse removal specialist. Up to and including getting you out of jail free. Up to and including winning court cases, it said.

So you facing three to six? Double murder? Come on in. We can help you out. Not guilty. That's what was going on. So we left off with people just saying that the one person said she made it worse, which I thought was great. Somehow her energy just ruined this person's life even further somehow. I don't know how that happened.

Well, I mean, you give somebody confidence that things are the other way, and then they're going to be shocked when it's not. Well, if they're expecting positive, they're really going to notice the negative. That's the problem. It's crazy. I didn't get more child support. So here's a two-star review here from Mia. Okay.

I went to see her in March march i had been to several people before she actually made my situation much worse and the negativity grew more grew no she didn't make your situation worse no your life got your life was on a downhill slant that's why you went to and it just started that's what happened that's why you went to the best curse removal specialist in in atlanta then you continued to live your life which was going poorly yeah and it continued to go poorly and now you're blaming her because you continued the same behavior but you gave her 50 so it's her fault she should have fixed it. God damn it. She gave me an okay reading about things that were going on in my life. She sent me an email saying to close my eyes and think about positive changes in my career, life, and relationships. Well, yeah, positive visualization.

That's fine. And then, yeah. Then you have to do stuff, too. Right. There are steps you got to take. Just closing your eyes and thinking about it isn't quite enough. I did my part. What the fuck?

Kids could do that with Christmas presents. I think I did that when I was four because I wanted a Skeletor castle from He-Man there. I just closed my eyes. I needed to make it happen, though. Yeah. I've done a lot of daydreaming shit. Wow. Please only pay her for reading if you want a, and this is in all caps, somewhat truthful answer.

She's not going to spill it. Totally. She can't. She can't. Yeah. If you are looking for accuracy, do not even waste your time. Do you really expect accuracy from Psychic Melina, the black magic removal specialist? It really is fascinating

how many people actually a hundred percent buy into this shit yeah if you're looking for accuracy she's like it was sort of okay but not as accurate as i would like she is a lazy woman now we're taking personal shots yeah looking to live off of others to make a living. Wow, you said that as badly as you could have there. Looking to live off of others to make a living. How about looking to make a living off others? That would have been fine. You could have condensed that a lot. In other words, she is a con artist driving a nice SUV.

She's tracking her now. And living in a nice house. Counting her money. Mia is sitting outside this lady's driveway just like you fucking bitch look at her green visor and calculator look at her with the kitchenaid mixer on the counter you bitch 379 bullshit uh so yes in a nice house with the money of others who work hard yeah siphoning it she mean, that sounds like she's working her balls off. If she's got a nice SUV and a nice house, she's spewing it, but she's working.

You went to her. If you didn't read the title on Google, Psychic Melina Atlanta's Best Curse Removal Specialist and crack up laughing, it's on you at that point, is it not? You ran in with a handful of cash and said, fix it. Fix my shit for me. probably not even a handful um let's uh she needs to get a real job and stop lying to people i mean i mean lying is a real job in america i don't know if you've noticed it certainly is a profession in this country it It's going to be a college course pretty quick. If you're good at it, you can go far.

God will pay her for what she is doing sooner or later. This really went far, this one. You will reap what you sow. Oh, my. That's the quote in the Bible. Jesus. Yeah, she started out sort of, she said, you know, positive visualization, you know, somewhat truthful uh blah blah blah it

was okay and then it went into she's the worst person ever society crumbles because of people like this and jesus will smite you and god will smite you eventually it's gonna happen so there's a response from melina here oh yeah mel Malina let her out. A psychic response. Quote, Ms. Mia, you do have to understand many individuals that go to reader to reader are never fully satisfied

simply because some individuals will seek guidance till they hear what they want to hear. Many psychics will reveal only the truth. Some individuals don't want to hear the truth.

This individual, I think she probably means these individuals will then say their reading was not accurate or even negative my services i provide are to those individuals that are wanting to balance and improve their life situations mia you lazy twat is what she said you call me lazy yeah she's she she compared her to like a pill pop and doctor shopper yeah pill pop and shop that lazy yeah she's she compared her to like a pill popping doctor shopper yeah pill popping shop going doctor to doctor you bitch you fucking junkie let me read come back check in and we'll fix you mia you junkie bitch you psychic junkie that's what she is uh now rose is a one star here she's got a shitload of reviews on Google here.

All right. Okay. Fake readings. Spent all this money with, in all caps, no results. What results did you want? I got to know. What are they looking for? She does advertise that she can get you out of criminal cases and remove black magic from over your aura.

So, I mean. It's a great point. You are advertising a lot here. I mean nothing, she says. No results. I mean nothing. Then when I called her to let her know all the bad things that happened to me, even though she assured me during my reading that the best luck I will ever have was coming, it

was the exact opposite. The opposite. Scam. She never called me back after I left a voicemail telling her what happened to me. Yeah. Yeah, you're a disaster, Rose. I don't know what to tell you. What are you looking for?

Well, this is last resort, right? You've tried all the normal things you do to fix your life, and then you go, fuck it. Go to college, get a better job maybe this lady can remove the curse that's clearly on me i feel like that's a last resort the curse removal lady i'm a cursed woman at that point yeah uh okay britney you're up next one star this is first sentence all caps she is a fraud and is out to get your money yeah yeah that's that's that's the game let me tell you my experience i did a reading with this psychic who advised me to do spiritual

cleansing to renew my relationship she asked for me to bring her 620. That's a lot of money. To start the cleansing, which I did. Well, then you're a fucking idiot. I'm sorry. Start the cleansing? That should fucking douche it all, right? Are you a fucking... $620?

Are you kidding me? $620? You could buy a new sofa for that. Dude, for $620, I'm sorry. This is on you at that point. For sure. And crack up laughing, all the bad things that are going wrong in your life are because you're a sucker at that point, right? You get patio furniture for that.

What am I doing? You're getting a nice table, the metal ones with the glass in it. It's going to be good. Might have a propane tank with some fire in that table. Oh, either that or I think you could probably afford one of those on the side, one of those umbrella things over. One of those heaters, space one of those umbrella things over. One of those space heaters. $620. Wow.

To start the cleansing, which I did. And after she told me, she will give me steps to follow to see positive results in my relationship. So you bring me $620. I'll give you the secret to life here. That's what she said. I'll give you the secret to making relationships work, which most people haven't figured out. It better not just be suck his dick. Yeah.

$620. Hmm, okay. This is what you should do, Brittany. Have you tried oral? Unzip his pants. Put his penis in your mouth. Thank you very much, Brittany. Have a good day.

I'll tell you the rest next time. That is the rest, Brittany. That's all of it. He'll be fine after that. Later, I follow her steps, and she advised me to call her, and she will tell me what to do next, which I did. At first, she assisted me, but when I told her I don't see no progress in my relationship, I don't see no progress. I mean, if I don't see no progress in my relationship i don't see no progress i mean if i don't see no progress what am i supposed to do yeah she's tipping her cards right there we know what's happening i don't see no progress in my relationship changing she stopped answering my calls yeah i

left voicemails and she still never returned my calls she's not your girlfriend that's why she cleansed you quote unquote that's the end of it that's her her shit's over now it's calls she's not your girlfriend that's why you she cleansed you quote unquote that's the end of it that's her her shit's over now it's up she's also got other people to balance uh whether or not they're gonna come back she's trying to get you to come back how many other 620 how many people are leaving voicemails with their experience my boyfriend said this and then i went here and then oh you know my job but i Imagine her voicemail full of these fucking people. The client, her inbox is worse than a therapist. It's worse than a therapist, probably, because these people think she can fix it.

Not just help her. Not just help fix. Yeah. I wasn't going to post this, but I just want everybody to to not spend a penny with this lady. She is out to get your money. Melina, you did me wrong. Now it's a straight address i'm a young girl i'm a young girl young enough to be your daughter you could at least could at least kept it real with me and say i use you for your money i would respond you're

probably not going to bring her 620 at that point. Hello. I'm here to use you for your money. I'm here to use you for your money. None of this is real. 620, please. You'd be like, fuck you. I would respect that instead of you taking advantage of my time of sadness in exchange for money when I seek you for help from the service you provide. That is not right. There's no punctuation there at all. Yeah, right.

Then, here we go. The response from Melina. Oh, she's the best. I have no record of anyone by your name having a service with me. I keep records of all my clients, so I'm sure this is a fake review written by one of my competitors as they have been known to do so

in the past. Oh oh molina's got enemies god bless whoever you are but please don't write write fake reviews on google i will make them aware okay all of them all of them and then here we go uh finally lash one star very nice but not accurate at all there you go that's you figured it out yeah you spent some time with her and you left and you were like oh this is all bullshit she has to be nice so you'll bring her 620 dollars if you're like if you're six what cleansing your relationship get the fuck out of here that's crazy so that is so steep all right so we've had our psychic reading we know we we have to make do we have to do it ourselves.

We've realized that. The psychic isn't going to change our lives. Right. So, what are we going to do here? Well, we have a big day planned for us, Jimmy. We're going to have a big romantic day here. Okay. Not really romantic, but first off, we've got to drop the kids off somewhere.

We can't have them with us. This is going to ruin the whole day. We need a sitter of some sort. Well, I found us a spot, actually, rather than a sitter. I i don't know if you know anybody but i think this is the perfect place to drop them off the all sports kids before and after school care in tamarack florida oh my god south of west palm there yeah down there nice nice area but no not really it's where you drop your kids off and walk away yeah it's located in the walmart neighborhood market oh boy so that's nice uh looks like it was an old osco

or something one of those like an old drug store that went out of business uh 70 uh 7081 north pine island road tamarack florida and uh here we go let's find out what they do they're 4.2 stars on google that's not so bad it's not so bad but most of the other ones are like 4.9 they're dealing with people's kids so yeah you better be thrilled right it's got to be very good yeah so let's start out some people love it let's find out daniella how she feels about it five stars yeah my son has been going there for two years now and he loves it really good for you little guy looks forward to school just to go for to all sports after so oh just can't wait to get there puts up with math to get to the all sports Just to get there. I love how they have multiple activities for the kids and help them with their homework.

Okay. You can pick them up. Their homework's done already. That's a great service. Definitely a safe place for them. Also, love the staff. Great. And a heart.

And a heart. Pretty good here. Aaron, five stars. Again, flawless. Flawless. All Sports Kids is an amazing facility. It's been around since I was a kid, and it's still as amazing as it was when I attended as a kid. My kids tell me about the cool activities they do and all the food projects from summer until now. They are very family-oriented and truly care for the kids. Ms. Kayla is always very responsive when it comes to my child's concerns and the entire staff takes their time to make each of the children feel

extra special. Wow, that is perfect. Yeah, but is that the goal? I mean, make them feel special? Yeah, make them feel they're included and wanted and they're being homeworks being done and they're being stimulated. Yeah, make them feel like they're included and wanted and, you know, they're being homeworks being done.

Yeah, yeah. They're being, you know, stimulated. Yeah, they're part of the package. So, Gustavo, five stars, excellent facilities. When we leave my son, we do it with full confidence that he is well supervised. The general manager slash owner is always present and willing to talk to us about any concerns we may have regarding my child. 100% recommended. Okay.

That's good. So that's the good. Let's get into the not so happy here with Joanna with a one star. Oh, super upset. Yeah, not happy at all. This place is disgusting because of the staff. Disgusting with a capital D. So that's even grosser. Yeah. More because of the staff. because of the staff. Disgusting with a capital D, so that's even grosser. Yeah, because of the staff.

Because of the staff. They don't care for you or your child. They care to get a paycheck. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's it. Well, first of all, a little bit of care for the child since they're watching them.

They don't really need to care for you. You're just dropping a kid off. I mean, I dropped my kids at the daycare area in the ymca when they were younger and uh there were a couple of those people that clearly don't give a fuck about these kids they don't care you have to tell the kids they don't hit your head on shit you know yeah some of them actually really like kids and it's evident they're teenagers and that's unless they're teenagers that's creepy too that's scary don they're teenagers, that's creepy, too. That's scary.

Don't be too friendly with the kids here. Don't be so excited about this. They do not make sure my kid is safe in their care. I'm sure you've already heard the horrifying stories. Everyone's heard the horrifying stories of the all-sport in Tamarack, Florida. That's a national fucking phrase here. The horrifying stories about this place i don't have to keep going do you think she will though i hope she does oh she does they need new

management kayla is a disgrace oh somebody else two reviews right ms kayla here uh is always very responsive when it comes to the child's concerns that's now she's a disgrace she's a fucking somewhere between she's somewhere between always responsive to the children's knees and a fucking disgrace disgrace it should be you know walk through town like in game of thrones and yeah kayla is a disgrace and should not be running this. They need people with experience and know-how to keep the kids from bullying each other. All caps there. Okay. Those are children.

Yes, that's what kids do. Also, look at the responses from the daycare to low star ratings. They don't acknowledge someone who has their own opinion about this place, their own stupid opinion. We do. And we acknowledge it. Don't worry. Don't you worry, Joanna. We got your back.

About this place and poor staff. They are rude and responses reflect the poor attitude that everyone has in this place. Oh. Okay. All sports responds. Yeah. This is a long thing she posted saying, you know, look at what they do, blah, blah, blah. They respond.

This is a very trolly response. One thing, no punctuation. Your child has never came here. Please stop making false reviews. That is the internet version of lying ass bitch. That's the company response version of that. The hillbilly version of that. Yeah.

Stop making fake reviews, liar. Your child's never came here. Never came here. Not once. Next up, one star from Agent Cozy Banks. That was their name. Oh, yeah. Not bad.

Terrible structure for handling a situation where they simply have to be transparent about what's going on with the child and overly defensive for some people who claim to be innocent. Oof, that is. What did that? What? You have got to. Normally people start way before. Like, I thought about taking my son to this place because I needed. This guy started way in the middle.

Right in the middle. You cut off heads and tails of scenes to make them interesting, but not this far in because we don't know what the hell you're talking about. You are the anti Tarantino friend. Holy shit. This whole situation is fishy on all sports behalf. What situation? What are we talking about? What are you talking about? No, I'm not changing my mind you

know what don't at this point what you you stick with what sir power to you because i don't know what the fuck you're talking about but you seem passionate and i'm not interested in sharing my feedback as to why i rated y'all one star y'all know what's up i wish we did cozy i wish we knew it was up yeah that's the other thing you got a fucking crazy name and then you then you splurt this shit out yeah i mean can i speak for all the of y'all out there of the all the collective y'all all y'all don't know what's up so you need to tell y'all what the fuck y'all is talking about, because I don't understand shit right now. Cozy. Let us know.

Oh, my God. Y'all should be shut down from Monday through Friday, 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. Okay? Not on the weekends. 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., they should be shut down? Shut down all week. That's it. Okay.

Horrible customer service and extra sassy when they're in the wrong. Make it make sense, then a question mark at the end. I don't know why. Punctuation doesn't matter. Make your review make sense, man. Yeah, and they respond, we appreciate your concern in this matter. Being transparent, we have offered all information that we can and haven't withheld anything. We have offered all parties involved to see exactly what took place, and unfortunately our offer was declined.

Because this is a delicate situation. Huh? What happened? What happened? What the fuck? And you have previously read another reply as we have turned over all information to proper authorities as we want nothing but the best for the child we strive to continue to provide the best services for all children and we will continue to do so we advocate for our children being safe loved and cared for and in and out of our care we hope the authorities can help to continue to protect the child

what the fuck happened in there something bad bad happened. Something that they're going to have to go to psychic Melina for for some sort of removal fucking spell later on. The kid should probably go for the removal of the spell. And then Allsports needs to go for the protection of the lawsuit. Yeah, this is fucking insane. Next up, Nicole One Star. I don't know. This is fucking insane. Next up, Nicole, one star. On February 10th, I picked up my son from all sports and was advised by Coach Chris that he hit his head and no one knew how it happened or where he was.

Or where he was? Where he was. Where did he hit his head? He hit his head and wandered off. We don't know. Then he blows a whistle and goes and gets some other kid. There's a lump in blood. I don't know what happened.

I don't know. There was blood drops. You can probably follow the trail. I'm blood. I don't know what happened. I don't know. There should be. There was blood drops. You can probably follow the trail. I'm busy. I don't know. You might want to do that. Find the splat.

Wow. Coach Chris advised me that my son kept running out of his group and they would find him in the bathroom crawling on the floor and pee. Oh, my God. And that this occurred on multiple occasions. So he's bloody and covered in urine, other people's urine. It was on the bathroom floor? Yeah, just covered in a urine slurry.

My son had a knot on his head that they tried to cover up with a Band-Aid. Then when I went back with my son on February 15th, they tried to lie to me and tell me that my son came there with a bump, which they thought was a bug bite. I asked for surveillance showing me what happened that day and to speak to the owner, and no contact has been made to date. My son currently has a scar on his forehead from hitting his head in the green room at All Sports. Since February 10th, my son has been very specific that this is where he hit his head and even told the staff at all sports the same thing when i took him there on february 15th i am still waiting to see the video of what happened on february 10th yeah there you go oof oh my goodness did they reply uh yes they did as a matter of fact what

do you think they didn't they have to they say say, quote, that's far from the truth. Oh, far from it. Fuck you, lady. Listen. Yeah. We advised you when he got off the bus, it looked like he had a bug bite on his forehead, which we documented and let you know, as well as put a Band-Aid on it for him. Sorry you feel the need to make up things.

You lying ass bitch. Sorry you feel the need. Sorry you feel the need to make up things. You lying ass bitch. Sorry you feel the need. Sorry you feel the need to make up things, which is hilarious. When we expressed to you your child refuses to stay in his class

and is always giving us behavioral problems, we did our best to work with your son, but there was a reason we kept bringing to your attention his behavior.

We hope you can find the best care for him. Best regards, Allsport. Get him the fuck out of here. And your crazy fucked up kid can eat dicks. Fuck off. Alright, this is getting good now.

Here's another one. Vanessa, one star. Y'all are disgusting. Are we going to get to the bottom of it? And I dare y'all to comment on my post because we can go all day. All caps, double exclamation point. I'll even show up if I have to. Fuck the internet.

I have time. Reviews in person, bitches. It's on. One star, two fist reviews. Come on. Holy bare fisted reviews this is. Come on. Holy bare-fisted reviews this is.

Just tell you guys to your face how disgusting and insensitive you are. Karma's going to get every last one of y'all. What happened? This is awesome. No, my child doesn't and will never attend your dirty, disgusting facility. Kayla, don't you have a five-year-old? Imagine your child going through the same thing. Just straight disgusting. Double exclamation What happened? Y'all trying

to make these kids sound like liars just to protect your name, but everything will come to light and all you, quote, coaches will pay the price. Believe me. Believe that shit, bitch. Yeah. That feels like the police need to be involved like i stated before

my child will never attend your dirty disgusting facilities there are plenty of reviews about how your facility is being handled so you can also save the act punk motherfucker suck it pow then Punk motherfucker. Suck it. Pow. Then they did the crotch chop gesture. Crotch chop. And so they responded. Yeah, they did. They have to. Ms. Vanessa, you stated your child has never attended our aftercare facility, which means you are making this recommendation based off hearsay and not facts. In the essence of transparency, we see your comment and acknowledge it for its

inaccuracy in regards to the incident you are referencing we have provided all footage to proper authorities oh my god the kid didn't go there how is there a footage worthy authorities worthy beef going on i don't understand it something happened that was like on the news or something it had to be it's something is going on here man i don't know so next up chelsea one star sent my daughter here for over a year and continued to have a bad experience well you shouldn't have sent a year of it a year due to having limited options all i could do was hope it got better that's the problem though if you don't have a lot of money for child care i had to go to shit babysitters when i was a kid yeah my mother choked a lady once yeah she did some lady used to lock me in the closet apparently oh my god like two did it for a long time is that

what happened that's apparently what happened i didn't know this till uh recently and then i apparently confined space ruined my j i was was starting to talk better. And I was like, yeah, she puts me in the closet and like just leaves me there for hours. So my mother and her flamingly gay best friend got in the car and my mother went over there and like he had to like pull her off. My mother went and choked her like in her in the door of her trailer. Like my mother was taking her to the fucking murder. No, she tried to murder the woman in public. And luckily her friend was trying to murder her. She tried to murder the woman in public, and luckily her friend was there to pull her off.

A gay man screaming, Angela, no! It was, no, no! Yeah, that's what she said. He was like, no, no, oh my God, stop, you're going to kill her. He stopped because she was choking her. I mean, she went to strangle mode. It's a problem. Yeah, that's what happened, maybe.

I don't know. We'll figure it out someday. Someday I'll get that all figured out maybe i don't know we'll figure it out someday someday i'll get that all figured out what my issues are um not saying my child is a saint by any means like i know he's a piece of shit i get it but this place is not appropriate for any child under 10 they play inappropriate music for the children, and the children are watching TikTok videos all day. It's like a high school cafeteria, basically. What music are they playing? Like Pop Smoke? Yeah, I think

they got, yeah, shit, dirty shit. A little Uzi Vert or whatever the fuck his name is? Barely any sports going on, and the kids are supervising themselves. it's like a little prison yard in there yeah that's all he's a trustee don't worry about it he has more freedom than everybody else there's no guidance for the children at all it's not a great influence i would

not recommend trust me they can care less could wow couldn't um yeah that's good and then uh let's see here let's do this let's do one more here one star i was there for three weeks which sucked i was going because i thought there might have been sports but they don't all you do is sit there and the game room reeks of feet this is a kid doing this that's got to go there reeks of feet the homework room at least keeps its promise but the karate classes are totally lies and the teen room is too small the bathroom was dirty not only that i went once and the toilet was filled with poop all over even on the floor there's poop there's poop that's there's always

poop oh you know on this show we the your stupid opinions guarantee there will be poop no supervision you can only go to the bathroom twice or they would yell at you Your stupid opinions guarantee there will be poop. No supervision. You can only go to the bathroom twice or they would yell at you. And it's super expensive. Don't take your kids there. Trust me, you'll be doing your kids and yourself a favor. Wow. Interesting.

Super expensive. To a kid? Yeah. So the kids are gone. We dropped them off. Now let's go out to dinner, Jimmy. We may or may not pick them up sometime. We don't know.

Fuck them. Fuck them. They can stay there, crawl around in the pee in the bathroom for all I give a shit. The police will take care of it. We'll notify the proper authorities and get the videos. Let's go get ourselves a nice dinner together. What do you say? We deserve this.

It's date night. Where are we going? I'm really hungry. Are you starving? I'm always hungry i'm starving let's go to the buffet let's tear it up what do you say here jesus let's go to the china i'm chinese is what i'm in the mood yeah yeah i'm a fan brew the blue pearl jesus that was a unfortunate mistake for this kind of restaurant i was just reading it wrong. Who's the Andrew Jackson guy?

That was some accidentally racist shit there. The Blue Pearl Buffet. Yeah. And this is in, it's a 6820 Commerce Street, Springfield, Virginia. This is in the, you know, that kind of D.C., Baltimore area there. Yeah, yeah. The triangle there. Blue Pearl?

Blue Pearl. It's only got 3.6 stars on Google. Oh, Jesus. Less on Yelp. And on Google it has one. Less on Yelp? Yes. It has over 1,100 reviews, too, on Google.

How the fuck are they even open? Well, let's find out how they're open. Some people love it. Oh, really? Let's find out. Audie says five stars. Overall, the food is good. Excuse me. Keeps me thin. Good five stars. Overall, the food is good. Excuse me.

It's pretty thin. Good. There's an exclamation point after good. Good isn't enough of a word to. Overall, it's good. Yeah, it's good. You could have just saved the exclamation point and used a better word at that point. Oh, that's great.

Fish dishes are plenty and great. Their fried fish dishes are my favorites. I bet in blind eye test, nobody can differentiate with expensive restaurants. The only con is their dessert selections. That's every buffet, Chinese buffet. They have orange slices,

a big tub of ice cream that you scoop out yourself, and all the kids are spitting in and getting their elbows in, and those weird little pieces of cake that you don't know what they are, but they're cut into tiny squares. That's a Chinese buffet's dessert. And Jell-O. Jell-O. And Jell-O. Big things of Jell-O.

That's all you're getting. So you should expect that. They are good but not gourmet. Yes, I expect too much for an inexpensive buffet. Well then that's on you, stupid. I guess she gave it five stars. Overall place cleanliness is excellent. Even the restroom is cleaner than most expensive ones.

The restaurant is spacious with ample parking spaces. Yeah. I got to know, what's an expensive Chinese buffet cost? 20 bucks? 20, 25 if they have fish. There's a good one in Phoenix I know of that was on the way out west there. They had a lot of sushi and stuff like that, but it was really good. Good China on 59th?

No, it was 83rd, I think. Oh. Pacific whatever. Oh, yep. I know where it is. Yeah, yeah. If you give the sushi guy 10 bucks, he'll just pile you whatever. You go, what do you like?

And you say tuna. And he gave me this thing where eight people could have eaten this tuna. Just give you a slab of tuna. It was five pounds of tuna. I was like a tuna and a sushi knife. Next time I went up, he just handed it to me. It was like tuna for you. I was like, ten dollars.

Bought me this. A fucking awesome. You give me thirty five dollars worth of fish. Yeah. Tip the sushi guy, man. He will give you shit all night because nobody does it. So this person says, I've been going here for 10 plus years. It's an inexpensive buffet.

Good for eating more for the price of other places. Good for eating more for the price of other places. It's a weird sentence. Yeah. The food itself is okay, but the price is the real selling point for this restaurant. Imagine paying $30 or $50 eating out when you can pay far less coming here and get more what's far less far a little bit it's nine dollars he also said it's not good food for what i've seen the dinner is 17 for the dinner good christ 17 for dinner and i

think it's a little less for lunch here Here is Michael with one star. All right. Food was dry, horrible, and served me camel knuckles. What? Pardon? Is that a delicacy somewhere that I don't know of? This is a Chinese buffet. Camel knuckles? In my head, there's no meat on the knuckle of a camel, right?

In my head, there's no camels in China also, right? That's the other thing I thought of. there's not known as a chinese delicacy what the fuck are you talking about toes right i don't know somebody's dick in their pants is that a camel knuckle i don't know what's going on not moose knuckles and camel toes pick one they got them mixed up that's what i'm saying are they mixing metaphors here i don't know. Weird ambiance and the service is poor. I really want to talk to Michael and find out about these camel knuckles he's describing. This is fucking fascinating here. Here is KB1, absolutely the worst Chinese buffet in the DMV.

No crabs at 12 p.m. How dare you? Crawfish borderline rotten. Notice how the tails and heads are separated. There's a picture, but you can't see it. It's just a pile of crawfish. And even mac and cheese is like days old. Are you going to a Chinese buffet for good mac and cheese?

And crawfish? Why don't you go to a barbecue restaurant, man? That's weird. $18? Really? Y'all got us this time and last time. Y'all got us this time. Y'all got us this time.

Ain't happening again. Maybe my favorite review of all time. Sarah, one star. Food poisoning. Yes. Had me blowing out of both ends for five days. Oh, food poisoning. Yes. Had me blowing out of both ends for five days. Oh, my God.

Five fucking days? Five days of food poisoning. You didn't go to the hospital? You just have to eat food poisoning. Go sit on a drip, right? Don't eat cheap shellfish is what they'll tell you. Yeah, don't suck on $18 crawfish. Jesus. My boyfriend thought I was avoiding him, but I was actually glued to the toilet.

I couldn't tell him. I couldn't bear it. He's like, she just doesn't want to fuck me. And she's like, really? Just give me a couple of days. I bet they live separately, right? They live separately. And he's like, come over.

She's like, I can't tonight. I got to wash my hair. And then this is the best line of all time the most that's why i believe anyone any review this person left because they're honest unfortunately i was blackout drunk and don't recall what i ate to recommend what to avoid i saw the charge on my credit card i was like wow i must eat in there and now i'm shitting and puking at the same time also how much booze did you drink that will also make you shit and puke so sure yeah maybe you're allergic to grain vodka this could be a potpourri really of reasons of what the hell's going on so you might be gluten-free that's also possible here is some uh samira one star terrible never go okay my sister would drink past milk

ew is that what it's called when it's expired i guess past i never heard that one but i had to think about that for a second dead milk man that shit's passed on somebody buried the milk it's passed it's passed. And wouldn't gag easily. So the sister will drink expired milk. So she's iron guts. And doesn't even gag. But one bite of the egg roll had her gagging. Disgusting.

Worse than past milk. Worse than dead milk. Here is Datkin, one star. I went for dinner, and when I was eating, a roach flew on my plate. Flew? Flew. Oh, my God. It landed.

That is a strong roach. That is a very well-fed roach. Then he turned to you with a cigarette in his mouth, and he said, hey, how you doing? How's the egg rolls tonight? You going to eat the rest of this? What do you want? The crab's out. I'm going to go see about them. How's the egg rolls tonight? You need the rest of this? What do you want? The crabs out? I'm going to go see about them.

How's the milk? How's the milk? The food tastes pretty bad, too. Well, yeah, there's roaches in it. That's why. You kept eating. Oh, my God. Well, I mean, you flick it aside.

It goes and flies off. It's not your problem anymore, right? One star. Wow. Pretty bad, too. look at a side it goes and flies off it's not your problem anymore right one star wow i am you didn't get up immediately and run out screaming my plate would have flown i'll tell you that right now roach has i'd be screaming a roach flew you guys it's over let's all start a stampede in that motherfucker i don't care i'll yell roach like fire i know they fly but for christ's sake how frequently have you seen that happen indoors yeah never an indoor thing it's just flying around unimpeded oh jesus it's disgusting next

up brendan one star Server asked for a tip. I wasn't even there 10 minutes. Oh, well, yeah. Why she even tried to call me out. I don't know, Brendan. I don't know why she even tried to call you out. I'm not positive. She made me feel like an asshole.

Yeah. She wasn't even the girl who brought me anything, and all I had was water. Wow. She didn't even get my plates up bitch older lady if anyone wondering so stay away from the bitch older lady in case you're curious why is she so entitled to money of mine after doing absolutely nothing one star i don't know how the food is but there there's that. Here we go. One star. 100% do not recommend.

They make you pay before you eat. Yes. That's how a buffet works. Yeah. This isn't like a nice sit-down restaurant. This is basically a gas station. Pay before you pump. You don't have a tab.

You pay for your first plate, then you go in and you get several plates. That's how a buffet works. This place is so bad that chicken nuggets are the best thing. Barely. Bathrooms are wide open. No privacy. I've heard several people say you just look in the men's room at toilet bowls. People in there looking at the backs of men. Do not go here.

The ground tastes better. The ground. Just put your mouth to the concrete. Just lick it. And then my favorite, in quotes for some reason, all capital letters, B-W-E-R. B-W-E-R. B-W-E-R. Not B-W-E-R.

B-E-W-E-R-E. B-W-E-R. He made sure to all caps it and put it in quotes and then spell beware wrong. Beware. Beware. Beware, everybody. I wish he would have put the H in there. Yeah, beware.

Beware. Beware. I don't know. Here's another one. After I had eaten, I wanted ice cream. This is what I saw. And there's a picture of it. Oh, God.

The roach sitting on top of the ice cream cup jesus christ oh it's one of those little ones oh yeah those are babies yeah that's not good at all a roach on top of the little plastic ice cream cups i will never visit this place again even by accident oh i don't even get lost i promise I won't swerve and drive my car through the front window, I swear. Being water. This is some more wildlife, tales of wildlife coming up here. Anastasia, one star, my husband and I have enjoyed coming here a few times in the past. However, during our last visit, my husband was nearly finished with his first plate when my daughter noticed a

bug in my husband's food. He didn't even see it. Some sort of locust or grasshopper. Oh, God. Jimmy, would you like to see? That is a grasshopper. Jesus fucking Christ. It's huge. It's gigantic.

Good God. What do you think that was? A baby corn? Well, it looks like Oh, gigantic. Good God. Yeah. What do you think that was? A baby corn? He was. Well, it looks like it's in like a thing with a lot of mixed up stuff. There's sauce. Yeah. There's sauce. It's got barbecue on it.

I see like I see a bunch of shit. So they might have just mixed it up, mistaken it for a vegetable of some kind. I'm not sure. Grasshopper. A piece of pork. But you can see exoskeleton on this fucking thing. Like it's got. You can see the scales.

That is weird. Jesus, some sort of locust or grasshopper. I didn't get to take a good pic before the waitress took his plate away. We were refunded, and the waitress and manager were very apologetic. We understand that these things can happen. We just don't understand how such a big bug was missed while preparing the food. It's huge. It's fucking enormous. It's gigantic. It's the size of a fucking ziti like it's big yeah it's the size of your

pinky that yeah and that's just the ass yeah it's a lot um wow that is a whole lot there um next up finally adam last but not least well that was awful well Well done, Adam. This person is annoying. Listen, I was expecting at least mediocre Chinese buffet food, and I was treated to the worst buffet I've ever had the displeasure of paying for. The price was outrageous considering the small selection on hand. When we were seated, our table was pungent with the damp arona of a sour washcloth which had recently graced the table's surface, leaving an indescribable texture behind. We kept the drink simple

with water, which apparently was in short supply, since after our cups runneth dry, he says, runneth dry. He said runneth. Runneth. After our cups runneth dry, they never again were filled with the simple H2O fluid. Server after

server passed by our glasses, which were teetering on the edge of the table as if to say, please fill me. Not once in the thirty minutes we were there did anyone ever consider filling them. Horrible service, poor food food and overpriced.

Congrats. You've met the trifecta classification of pitiful. Nay, horrendous restaurant. Nay? Nay. Nay and runneth, he used in the same. That's why I gave him a Shakespearean voice, because that's fucking ridiculous. You're an asshole.

Isn't, isn't. I hope you've poisoned and blown out of your ass in five days. Three cups lined at the side of the table? Isn't that we're done with? That's not we want more, right? I don't fucking know. Isn't that the indicator to take it? I mean, it's something, I guess.

It's not ignore my glasses, probably. There's that, yeah. But you could also use your words and go, excuse me. There you go. Could I have some more water, please? That's another thing you could also use your words and go, excuse me. There you go. Can I have some more water, please? You evidently are quite fluent in the beginnings of English because you're throwing runneth around here. Runneth and nay. I think you're okay.

Horrendous restaurant. I wonder if there's like a self-serve water station. There is somewhere. These fucking assholes think we're going to fill their water. Go grab it, stupid. There's a machine. There's a jug over there. Fuck.

There's a five gallon. Just pick it up. So now that we've eaten dinner and we're all romanticized, let's go home, Jimmy, and let's get real personal. Let's go kick our pants off. With our personal item of the week. Oh, yeah. Let's do this. It is the strangest thing I think I've ever seen.

It is the- Oh, and we've had a fuck-oozy. Ooh, we've had a fuck-oozy two weeks ago. L-Z-Y-A-A super big size horse dildo. 16.2 inch long animal penis. Liquid silicone material. Strong suction cup. Handfree huge cock adult sex toys large dick for men women couple that's and whack this fucker on the wall huh i would like oh

it's a giant there's fucking veins in it it's curved yeah as a horse dick would be it's a real horse dick it is a giant it's 16.2 inches long if you've ever wanted to fuck a horse dick would be. It's a real horse dick. It is a giant. It's 16.2 inches long. If you've ever wanted to fuck a horse, this is your chance. And it comes in black or pink or like a fuchsia, like a hot pink. Wow. The veins, man. It looks like Schwarzenegger's forearms. Dude, the veins are so prominent.

Yeah. It's weird. It looks like a wrestler. What would you pay for this item, Jimmy? Is that $17? $35.99. Jesus Christ. $35.99.

That's actually a pretty decent price considering what those things cost. But it doesn't vibrate or there's no suction or anything? It's just a giant. It has a suction cup. But, I mean, it doesn't have the the suction for like the clit or anything. No, fuck no. You just sew it on the wall and back that ass up. Back that ass up.

Hopefully not too far because it's going to stab your pancreas, I think. It's got all the depth. Okay. About this item. No. This horse's dildo is very long. 16.5 inch in total. please don't insert all of it for your safety this is in the about this item description on amazon that's not even in a

liquid liquid silicone material no any smell safe for your body no no any smell so you're good there no any please use water soluble lubricant when you use the Big Dildo. The Big Dildo. It gets even better. I love this. Bezos wanted to sell books, Jimmy. We say it every week, Jimmy. We say it every fucking week.

I cannot believe it. He's like, I mean, i guess sell the giant horse replica it has no smell um this huge penis is very suitable for use in the bathing in the bathing so it's a tub fuck um the large dildo suction cup is very strong can suction on any smooth flat surface such as floor wall tables or tiles tile easy to clean yeah you gotta put this for bathing please rinse with water or soapy water after each use let's go with soapy water let's go fucking lice off let's right away there um let's see 100 percent discreet package i hope that they don't just put that bad boy it's full fucking packaging lean up against your front door yeah just leaned up against

your front door in like a clear cellophane in the center that's exactly how i saw it the designs around the designs around horse cock a lady with like a surprise look on her face. And you can see it inside the plastic. You know what I mean? In there. A bunch of horses with their giant legs just like caliphate. Naked ladies riding horses around up there. That's what it would be all around it.

This veiny horse cock on your patio. Discreet. No. We will offer a hard cardboard box. No any mark. No any mark. No any mark. No any smell.

No any mark. No any smell. No any mark. Okay. Here we go. Oh, God. Jesus. This is the best item ever.

Some people enjoy this item. I do. Charlize gives it five stars. I love it. It's hilarious that it exists. So awesome with its numerous O's. Charlize gives it five stars. I love it. It's hilarious that it exists. So awesome with its numerous O's. Charlize. Very amazing.

If you ever wanted a nice long toy, this is it. Yeah. I was surprised in how flexible and comfortable it actually is. Great material. No odd smell. Easy, comfortable penetration. That's what I look for, everybody. Yeah.

odd smell easy comfortable penetration that's what i look for everybody yeah and it better be flexible because it's curved like jesus like a it's like a come hither finger it's definitely a half circle you gotta be careful yeah that is a that is a quarter moon right there bring you bring your half moon over here my god uh more than i thought it would be i am used to larger girth so actual penetration was easy for me but the odd shape of the head nice gradual expanding girth smooth material and length makes for one of the most interesting toys in my large collection of large toys wow oh my luckily it even comes with its own velvet bag for concealment and storage that That's like a Crown Royal bottle. That's nice. It's a velvet bag.

Imagine whipping that out. Like it spikes the eggnog at Christmas. Come on, lady. Whip that out. Hey, what do you got there? Oh, God. Jesus fucking Christ. What is that?

The apple kind? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Because it's too long to fit in my treasure chest. LOL. Also, shipping was very fast. Can't say anything bad. It even has built-in suction that works great.

If you're looking for a large and long, look no further. You get exactly what you expect and then some. Mmm. With all Ms. Side note, I just tried it out. Wow and wow. Thanks for coming back to us with this. We really needed to know.

Update. Update. I was thinking I would use it just for length training. Training? Training. Who are you fucking? How deep are you? I'm dating a guy with a 14-inch penis, and I really want him to be able to deliver the full load here.

Your wall is, I mean, there's a floor. There's a ground. There's as far as you can go. And there's no way she gets all of this in there. She's trying. I pushed my limits, she said. So she's trying. It's got to hit the end and then ball up.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you're not meant to fuck animals. No. That's why our dicks aren't shaped like that. It helps. That's why our dicks are much shorter. P.S. And not a giant curve, usually, unless there's a problem.

I pushed my limits, then I just relaxed. And then started pumping it as hard and fast as I could. And wow, the shape of the head made me orgasm without taking the whole thing. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, you'd be in the hospital if you took the whole thing. That'd be a different kind of orgasm. Yeah. This is definitely my new favorite anal go-to toy from now on.

She's talking about her ass. Oh, it's going back. Holy. Her ass she's talking about. She's putting a horse penis in her ass. Side note. And pumping it hard and fast. Hard and fast.

Holy shit. Hands down, you won't be disappointed no matter how you decide to use it. Speaking of, I need to go use it some more. I gotta go. Dot, dot, dot. I gotta go. My ass is fucking throbbing for this. Wow.

Next up, oh my, five stars. Uh-huh. The head feels fantastic when it engages the upper sphincter. Okay. Okay okay this is the whole fucking we're checking out i don't even know what the fuck's going on in this world jimmy's an upper sphincter i'm moving to a desert island somewhere i don't want to hear from people anymore there's an upper you broke me you broke me internet it internet. It's over. It's over. I don't know. Upper, lower. I've only been messing with the ground floor, evidently.

My east sphincter is not right today. I don't know what to tell you. The upper sphincter. When it goes past, then pull back. Oh, my. Oh, God. Once you relax, you can begin working the upper sphincter more aggressively. I don't want to work.

That's when you pump it, James. That's just what they said. You got to get in there, then relax, and then you can really pound away on that upper sphincter. This is advanced play, but so well worth it. Yeah, it's advanced. That's advanced as fuck. That's 16 inches. That's a lot.

Here's four stars. Not great as much. You shall 16 inches. That's a lot. Here's four stars. Not great as much. You shall not pass, triple exclamation point. Yeah. And then it says, this thing into your butt, that is. Nope. No, it's huge. This won't go up your ass. The first line is, this thing is, with four U's, huge, all caps.

Yeah, 16 inches. I'm a big guy, and it's the size of my arm what the fuck is happening yeah that's that's that's about 16 inches right there forearm my the head is so wide that even trying to slide it in at an angle wedged in it will not pass my sphincter though i've never heard the word sphincter used as much outside of a wayne's world movie this is ridiculous simply can't without causing a bunch of pain and panic get it out of your ass get it out you don't have to have this in your ass when you got it and saw it, how big it was.

I mean, you buy a sofa that's too big to get in the front door, you return it. Yeah. Did a judge sentence you to this? You don't have to put it in your ass. Breathing ridiculous amounts of water-based lube reapplied every two to three minutes. Nothing will work. Are you getting paid to do this? Why aren't you doing this?

What's the problem, man? Even my Doc Johnson large butt plug is easy to put in now, but this thing is huge. Be warned, you better be a gaping, prolapsing queen slash king if you want this thing to fit inside you. Well, evidently, we found a few.

Here's the funny thing. Otherwise, it's a fun gag gift to smack your friends in the face with while you're all drunk and giggling. That's what it's for. Hey, look at this fucking thing. Get it away from me. Whack. Yeah. Here is Kyle with four stars.

Foomp is his title. Yeah. The Foomp When It Pops In My Back Door To Visit. That's the whole entire review. Oh, the noise. Yeah. The Foomp When It Pops in My Back Door to Visit. That's the whole entire review. Oh, the noise, yeah. And eight people found that helpful. Yeah, you're right, dude. It flumps.

Next up, three stars, Underwhelming. Now, you can say a lot of things about this giant horse penis. You can say it's too big. You can say all these things. You can't say underwhelming. That is crazy. How big of a penis do you need? How big of anything do you need in there?

Well, listen to this. Apparently a lot more because it is very smooth, so there's no real feel when going in and out. The feel is that it's enormous. That should be your feel. It's got veins, man. Well, the next sentence, you're really on it. The veins don't really do anything. Nothing.

Nothing. They don't add shit. It's large, but that's about all it has going for it. It bends, but not enough to go all that deep. Yeah. He just needs a road cone. Wow. Well, he wants to really get the curvature of the earth going up his ass.

I have another one that's about a 13-inch length and one to one and a half inch girth, but that one still feels better than this because it has a better texture to it. I can't complain too much because of the relatively low price. Apparently horse dildos are expensive. But I do kind of want my money back well guess what sir that is your horse cock i'm sorry doesn't get any more your dildo than this next up and this is the strangest review of the entire show today two stars should be more like a horse cock you want? Do you want it to like winnie and fucking. Do you want it to piss for five minutes? What the fuck?

I would really love it if it was smoother going in and out. With the little work it went all the way. Wish it had more girth. Oh my. Good for you. Lord. Holy shit. Next up. Bad for your proct Lord, holy shit. Next up.

Bad for your proctology. Terrible. One star, and this review is from Roger Ebert. I assume not that Roger Ebert because he was dead already by this time. Beware, arrived already opened. Well, you don't want somebody else's horse cock. Product appears to be good. Just a bit curious why my package arrived with the tape seal on the box sliced

and the bag holding the thing ripped open with dust and potentially warehouse grime covering the tip. That's not grime. Right in the garbage. Right in the garbage. That's somebody's asshole. Somebody's asshole innards mixed together. Throw that away.

So either the people in the shipping warehouse wanted to have a bit of fun before shipping no or i was sold and already used and returned dildo yes that's your no and i'm not entitled to a refund either no you're not absolutely got one unacceptable oh my god uh this is disturbing um one star from Robert. Horrible quality. The toy is melting away and the dye is coming off and messing up my sheets. That's why you're sleeping with it. What is happening? What's happening?

The dye is coming off on my sheets. Finally, Tom, one star. And his title is It's a Dud. What? What have you put up there? This isn't that exciting. I thought it'd be more. And he goes on another. Head is uncomfortable as it goes in and out.

Cannot really feel the rest of the toy. I bet I could. I'd notice it. Guaranteed. You don't even feel it? I gave it a few tries slash took it over to a friend's place okay yeah let's see if let's get a gather around see if all of you can help shove it up my ass the last thing i want to do is show my buds what i'm doing hey check this out i left it there

okay so housewarming gift wow let's move on to somewhere else here yeah let's get the fuck off of this i can't do it between the poisonous meal and the horse penis we might need somewhere to be buried because we're gonna die i think here we're thrown up or fucked ourselves to death yeah let's go to the cedar hill Mortuary and Accommodations. Uh-huh. This is at 1722 Colorado Boulevard, Los Angeles, California. Yeah. 2.7 stars on Google. 2.7 stars to die? More one stars than five stars.

Unbelievable. Not good. Okay, let's give the good first. Yeah. I mean, it has to be somewhat good. Somebody's happy. I'm not burying people that much you know allison five stars my dad passed june 3rd i called several places before i got

to cedar hill their prices were reasonable and they were very accommodating with helping me through email and over the phone since i didn't live in the area i just picked up my dad's ashes per his wishes to be cremated i hope so i just picked him up he didn't want it he didn't want to be burned up but i got him i showed him who's in charge yeah very thankful for their help in taking care of my dad's final wishes that's good next up jose gives it five stars very affordable and fast oh they'll let you up tomorrow. I don't know if speed was a concern. Are they getting deader? More alive?

Like, what's happening? Well, there's only so many you're allowed to burn in a day. Yeah, I would assume just for environmental reasons probably. Next up, Lorraine, five stars. I was impressed and heartened by their service, professionalism, and compassion we received from Anna at Cedar Hill. She helped us navigate a difficult situation with care and clarity. My family and I are grateful and would highly recommend Cedar Hill to any other who are in need of these services.

Indeed. In addition to being professional and courteous, they are inexpensive. Thank you. Most especially Anna. Oh yeah. So, you know,

someone will hate Anna in the reviews coming up that's all you know has to be next up one star evelyn here we go extremely poor communication and you know it's poor because there's four exclamation points that means extremely it's bad enough our nephew died shortly after birth but to not provide accurate updates on his cremation is unethical and emotionally damaging. Yeah, these are people's loved ones. You can't fuck around.

This is a baby. It's a baby. You got to kind of try to, you know, go out of your way here. Comfort those people. Grandma, she had a good run. Yeah. Yeah, you talk to people, they'll cry. She had just such a great life.

This one couldn't even walk. This is just sad. The staff is not credible and they lack empathy. Next up, Laz gives one star. This is good because they have it bullet pointed, which I like for brevity. One star, please don't take your loved one here. I couldn't see my dad beforehand to confirm it was him. Wait.

Took one month to get the ashes. I would say the ashes and not his ashes because you don't know what the fuck you got. You don't even know who it was him. Wait. Took one month to get the ashes. I would say the ashes and not his ashes because you don't know what the fuck you got. You don't even know who his ashes are. They just handed you a thing of ashes. You didn't even see if they had your dad. They could have just thrown him in the basement. Your dad may have been buried somewhere.

Who knows? You got somebody else's dad. Didn't even confirm that he was dead? What are they saying? She didn't get to see him. We don't even know if they have the it who knows who i got here cedar hill does not provide the death certificates even though the contract clearly states in black and white how many how many certificates you do you need unprofessional does not pick up the phone only time i talked to them was when i needed the money. When they needed the money after 20 days, I tried calling to ask about my father a couple of times with no response.

Uh, wouldn't recommend them. I'm living with regret for choosing them. At least you're living. So you're one up on the rest of the people here. One star from Jesse. Absolutely. No sympathy,

no compassion during a very difficult time. Anna made me feel like I was bothering her. Fucking Anna. Fucking Anna she is. And even commented that I need to rush over to pick up my father's remains because she was going to lunch. Hurry up, he's starting to stink. You come grab this motherfucker because I have a date. So these people are disgraceful.

Take your business elsewhere. Oh, boy. There's a couple of good ones here. One star from Jean. They have had my father for over 25 days. What? What? What the fuck are they doing with him?

Three weeks? No one there. They're making a marionette out of him at this point. They got him forever. They're stopping him? No one there can tell me about my father's ashes will not pick up the phone and if they do you get put on hold then they hang up on you do not take a loved one there four exclamation points the service is

terrible and they do not care about your pain or your loved one right okay here we go one star from linda other than the death of my husband which was unexpected and shocking nothing could be worse than having to deal with this place other than below losing your husband unexpectedly i would say like one star review for losing your husband unexpectedly one and a half for this shithole. That's how close the experience is. Wow, nothing could be worse than to have to deal with this place. Anna spent days running me around as to where my husband's body was.

Okay. Slap an air tag on that motherfucker. I'm sorry. That should be the easiest. When I get on a plane, I can look on the app and see exactly where my luggage is at any time. You know what I'm saying?

Slap a sticker on him and we know. What the fuck are we doing? Worse over, he can't move without, he's not going anywhere. Why do you, who would be rotating him around? Yeah, where are you putting him? He's not on tour. Yeah, we sent him out on the circuit. Don't worry about it.

He's in Des Moines. Yeah, you know, he's doing on tour yeah we sent him out on the circuit don't worry about it yeah you know he's doing doing the upper midwest it's casinos mainly you know it's a good gig uh my husband's body was whether or not the death certificate had been signed and then they told me to change my tone on the phone what the fuck are you talking about you've had my dead husband over there oh Oh, my God. Picking out a different tone for this conversation. Wow. Holy shit. One star. Run like hell.

Extremely unprofessional. Those are all caps. Phone keeps hanging up on its own. No, it doesn't. They blame it on, quote, spectrum. That's the phone carrier. They can't keep a call. Sent email with important documents twice they supposedly never received it my loved one rotting at the corner they had

the audacity to ask me to call a few days later you give us a few days complete joke five exclamation points it's a joke man he's going well he was calling all the way from Canada. He really needs to know these things. Next up, Yesenia with one of my favorite reviews ever because it's the funniest, most horrible thing. It's the last one. One star. Literally the worst. I called a few hours after my grandpa passed. The rep asked me for my grandpa's weight and then told me, quote, we don't take fat people here. That's so insensitive what the fuck could you could you give him a couple of weeks till he decomposes and loses a bit of the water

weight fuck post-mortem fucking discrimination that is a disturbing we don't take that so i'm sorry holy shit so watch out what you're doing there watch out for your kids watch out for That is a disturbing thing. Let him take that, I'm sorry. Holy shit. So watch out what you're doing there. Watch out for your kids. Watch out for grasshoppers in your food. Oh, my God. Watch out for it all. Definitely listen to our other two shows.

Postmortem body shaming. Jesus. Yeah, watch out for that. Listen to our other two shows, Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder. Keep coming back every week and seeing us. We're going to be here. Check us out on all the social medias and do everything like that and hang out with us and tell your damn friends and rate and review thank you so much everybody we'll see you with more bitching next week thank you I'm out. or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad-free

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