Your Stupid Opinions - Pain In The Mail, Guitar Non-Hero, Canadian Delicacy Disappointment

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for a local post office, where people claim everything from massive conspiracy theories, to just plain laziness is the reason they don't get their mail. A restaurant that serves the "Official Food of Halifax", but the reviewers are saddened by the lack of meat. A cheap musical instrument that may make you dislike music. A roller rink, where the teenagers start fights with adults & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey! Hey, thank you so much for joining us. We're so excited to hear from people we don't care about, about places we're never going to go. It's the best show. It's the best time, and we're very excited. We've been dealing with murder and all sorts of stuff all week like we always do. And then we get to do this, and it's just our fun time, happy comedy show.

So thank you so much. My name is James Petrogallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. And here we go, everybody. Before we get started, though, definitely head over to shut up and give me murder.com and get your tickets for the March 21st,

Your Stupid Opinions Live show in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. It's, in my opinion, a top five club in the country. It's really. It's not a dank little dingy comedy club where they get overpriced cheese sticks. There's good food. It's real nice. And get your tickets because they're almost. gone. So we want to see everybody. And management is fantastic. Everybody there is great. Yeah. That's our

home club where we started. So we're, it's not like it was ever bad, but I mean, like they got, they got a guy that knows what the fuck he's doing. Brandon's wonderful. It's great stuff. And Casey before that, these people don't care about that. Let's get into this. Let's go. Let's go and give me murder.com. Let's go somewhere where no one wants to go. Yeah. And you go, where's that? You go, where's that? You go through them with a DMV. Yeah. Go here, there. Let's go to the post office. What do you say? I love the post office. All right. Let's go to this particular post office

is really people hate this place. What town is it? Peak Gill, New York. Oh, Peak skill, New York. Yeah, it's down, about not quite an hour away from the city, kind of that area there. It has 2.2 stars on Google.

2.2. You're buying stamps and mailing shit. And that's, how do you fuck that up so bad? So let's find out what goes on here. 738 South Street, Peakskill, New York. Let's start out with five stars. By the way, I question the free time of somebody who says, I'm so happy with the post office, I need to go and tell the world publicly that it's a five-star establishment. That's just, you get mail or you don't, and that's how it works.

Reviews for places like this are reserved for the bad ones. That's it. Here's five stars. I've always received great service at the Peakskill Post Office. Mail service has also been great. If there's ever been any issue, I just call, and I found them to be responsive and handle the issue. Okay. As they should, yeah.

Matthew five stars. I've had multiple pleasant experiences here. Pleasant? It's the post office. Yeah. I went in. It should always be satisfactory. I went in.

I gave them money to ship something or they gave me stamps in return or whatever the fuck it is. I gave them a very small amount of money, and they moved letters all the way across from us. They took it thousands of miles away from me. Just today, a very kind employee helped me get my passport renewal in the mail. Plus, the building feels historical and has a nice vibe to it. Because that matters. This is my favorite post office in the area. I go to all the post offices and this is the one.

That's why I go to the post office. Tell me about their shitters. What are they like? Are they good? This one is a Frank Lloyd, right. That's beautiful. Look at how he designed the urinal in the pistroft there. That's very nice.

Christine, two stars. Okay, not so happy. Upon entering the post office, you are getting harassed by daylabors. Not day laborers. Day labors. They surround the sidewalk in front of the post office, making it sometimes impossible to get to the door. But they'll let you buy. They want you to hire them.

They don't want you to. that's what they're generally doing. If you say, I got no work for you, they'll generally, you just walk to the door. Is it 37 for a stamp now, or is it 52? I have no goddamn idea how much a stamp cost. I haven't, I don't know. No clue.

They're forever stamps. So they never go up now. That's the thing. Whatever the cost is now, they never go up. I think it's 52. I don't know. Either way, what are the day labor want? Yeah.

Or that stamp will always be okay to mail something with. It'll always be okay to mail. Yeah. It's always valid. That's what forever means. Yeah. But do they say? like for 51 cents, I'll take it. Is that what they want? Is there a discount stamp?

No, no, is that what the day laborer is? What is he, is he waiting at the post office to fix your fucking plumbing? I think it's like people wait at Home Depot. I think it's just wherever people go. It seems like less of a viable spot to go at the post office. That's my point. A guy at Home Depot picking up a bathtub, I'll put that in for you. That's the obvious thing here is why the post office. Yeah. Why are you here? Absolutely. Something needs to be done.

Liz, one star. Zero if I could put less. Well, that's not exactly how you say it, but that's fine. Don't do passport services here. They don't know what appointments are or how to staff appropriately or see people in order of their arrival. Also, manage to be incredibly rude about their own incompetence. I'm sure you were very kindly pointing out to them how incompetent they were. and they couldn't take it on the chin.

I'm sure that's how it went. Since they've never heard of an appointment before. And to see people in order of their arrival would usually be getting that fucking line. That's how that works. Yeah. It doesn't matter. If that guy came in 10 minutes after you, if you didn't get in line, then he's before you. Stupid.

First come first serve usually, right? Yeah, I would think so. I've never had an appointment to go to the post office. Never. I didn't know they make them. An appointment to mail something? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. To buy a box?

Yeah. So strained to buy your priority box here. You know, three o'clock, three-thirty work for you because we don't have anything at three. Michael, one-star, terrible drivers. I've had issues with this post office for the last six years. Drivers are frequently loosing mail. Not losing it, they're losing it. Making it all loosey-goosey.

Even marking tracked packages delivered when they are not. Okay. I mean, they scan it. That's how they mark it, right? I guess so. That's what I would have to. Yeah, I see them doing a little gun, like a little pricing gun. Dr. Teacher, pick one.

Oh, that's the person. Got it's the person. One star. I paid $78.30 for a priority mail express package. Must have been heavy. It's a heavy package. Yeah. I did not receive it until 11 days later.

There was no signature required and no reasonable rationale for why I should not have received it on time. What is the point of having express mail that is. is no different from priority mail. How did you pay for it? I don't know. I don't know how that works. You mail it to yourself. And if you likely paid for a piece of some, bought something and then paid for shipping.

And the shipping was 70 bucks or whatever. Yeah. Maybe they didn't send it early. That could be on so many people. I'm as confused by this review as I am of the name Dr. Teacher. I don't know. I don't know what to do here. Don't make me defend the post office.

This is what's crazy. This is what's crazy. The post office is a fucking nightmare. My cousin Ian, who helps with the research for this show, he said, dude, the roots they send his mail on are wild. Like, it'll be like 20 miles away and then it'll end up in Pennsylvania. And then he's like, it'll send me like the whole tracking thing. I'm like, what are they fucking doing with your mail?

Over the river and through the woods to Ian's house we go. It's wild. They leave packages like in strange places. Like it's a scavenger hunter. fucking looking for Easter eggs or some shit. Like he's got to go out and go, where might they have thought I needed a package today? In the garden, that's a perfect place for it.

Shit like that. And it's not unique to, Amazon loves it too. These motherfuckers. That's what I mean. I had my garage open. They hit it in my garage. I'm looking all over my fucking yard. They thought they were doing you a solid. Like, I'll put it in here. It'll be nice

and secure. I wandered around the neighborhood, going to my neighbor's houses, being like, did you get a package? Oh. Maybe that's for like forch pirates and shit like that. He lives on like a main road. There's nobody walking up to his house.

Nobody. Nobody. I guarantee. There's no sidewalk. No, none at all. So anyway, there's no.

This is why I like the Mohegan Lake USPS better. Oh, well, then by all means. How far is that? No idea. It does not make sense. Really dislike this post office.

You've mentioned that. Unacceptable and no supervisor is available. terrible. Yeah. Great. I don't even know. Marindy? The spelling of this name.

M-H-Y-R-Y-N-D-E. Yeah. I guess. I don't know. One star. Asked for a hold on my mail and the post office cannot find it. They held it, all right. Oh, they've got it.

They got it somewhere. The, quote, supervisor I spoke to was unprofessional and unkind. I bet it was the Super Bowl. First shot. Yeah. Vanessa, one star. This facility doesn't open counter service on time. You hear all the employees' conversations and yelling break and yelling break time at 912 a.m.

While the counter service still isn't available. Not to mention missing two days of mail that received informed delivery force. So inform mail Friday and Saturday to go pick up mail on Monday. And only Monday mail is in my PO box. All right. You're way too deep in the weeds for a review, lady. No one cares about this. This is a lot of grievances for a paragraph.

Imagine if you're the supervisor and she comes up and tells you all that. You're going to go, slow down. Where do I start? Back to one. What's going on? What do you want, exactly? No Friday or Saturday mail, no packages. Horrible service, no professionalism, and only one counter window open.

The hub station is better in every sense. Where is my mail in packages? I pay for my PO box so my stuff isn't stolen or missing. My sister is a letter carrier and her manager said it's called informed delivery, not accurate delivery. Seriously. So they've got jokes inside there. They got jokey jokes. Look at that.

My sister's a mail carrier and she let me in on all their hot dogs. All the inside. All the lingo, yeah. Inside baseball, man. Jacqueline one star. The only reason this post office got one star is because it's the only way to leave a review. Jesus Christ, people. God damn it.

I would do that. It's so easy. This is the worst postal service ever. The people are rude, dismissive, and unprofessional. That's the post office. Yeah. That's the post office. I just had the pleasure of speaking with Rubin, who basically made me feel like I could not get a word in.

I'm speaking facts to you. This was how is communication to me about a package that is lost and they are told and that they told us was there. No one knows where. I'm speaking facts to you. No one knows where what or who has it now. No one knows where what or who has it now. I bet it's a who probably, not a what or aware that has it now, if I had to guess.

What is the Dr. Seuss book? Exactly. Yeah. Now it's green eggs and ham she's waiting for. So I don't know any of that. Who has it now? Though it says delivered, but it was not delivered to me. This is frustrating enough.

The displeasure of speaking to the people in this postal office is just a sure way to have a heart attack. Uh-huh. A heart attack we've gotten to? The drama has built over the course of this fucking thing to a heart attack now. It's medically hurting her, this fucking, these people here. Okay. So she's having a heart attack. This place needs an overhaul. Kindness goes a long way. Respect goes a long way. And that little thing called humanity goes further. Right. Remember that song? That thing called humanity. Remember that song?

Go from a little bit further. Yeah. It's a little bit further. Yeah, I remember that one. Get it together, people. I spoke to this gentleman for two minutes. He sounded agitated to be on the phone like it bothered him to answer my question. this is your job. Maybe you need a new calling, sir. Well, who said the post office was their calling? The post office says, well, they have benefits. Yeah. That's why people get a job at the post office.

You don't think anybody's ever been like, you know what? I don't feel like I can be stopped. I think I'm unstoppable. And somebody went, what about rain? No. No. Not me? Not me.

Fuck you. I think you're a letter carrier. I think you are. I know most of the people, a lot of people work at the post office are ex-military people. Is that right? Is that right? Yeah. Like I have an uncle

retired military guy. Then he goes to the post office after 20 years in the Air Force or whatever. The awful, awful, and still no package. And then all caps, two exclamation points. Facts. Fact. These are those facts. I'm speaking to you. God damn it. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. One star from a Amanda, this post office is the worst, by far, all caps, four exclamation points.

They have lost multiple packages of mine. When you call for help, they're very dismissive. I just spoke to Robert Randall, who rushed me off the phone, and I quote, everyone's package is important, but yours is not here in my office. Some supervisor shake in my, what did you want him to do? He told you that. Stop everything, everybody. stop the machines, shut the windows down, call everyone back from their trucks and their roots, and I want to gather them up and say, where is Amanda's package?

Because that's the only thing we have to deal with. He did say that all packages are important to me. They're all important, but I don't have yours. I don't know what to tell you. It's not up my ass. I can't pull it out and hand it to you. When I requested to speak with the postmaster, Nicole Collins, he told me she won't be in until Thursday. Today's Monday.

never once asked my name or even attempted to look for my package. He should be demoted immediately. Five exclamation points. This office needs to be shut down until they have the proper staff. That's not how this works. It can't be shut down. This isn't Barr Rescue. Taffer's not coming in and shutting it down.

Shut it down. This isn't Gordon Ramsey's going to come in. Shut it down. This is not happening. Turn off the stove. Send everybody out. That's it. No.

This is an ocean. liner in the middle of the ocean at all times. You gotta keep going. Can't get a new crew and stop and start from scratch because we have to keep going or else we'll all drown. This is it. Google should allow negative stars just for this place. Uh-huh.

Good Lord, Amanda. Just this one. Just this one. Arlene, one star. My experience with the postal delivery person has always been nasty. In the beginning, that's a crazy way to say mailman or male person or something. shit, postal delivery person. In the beginning, I was always cordial to him and still received a nasty negative attitude.

I've made complaints in the past, and today, I'm done. I'm not fucking my postman anymore, I swear to God. I won't even blow it next thing. Washing my hands of all USPS. What the fuck? He didn't take the outgoing mail once again. Of course, yeah, I could mail it myself, but it's his job description to pick up in delivery. Uh-huh.

I will continue to complain until he's properly spoken to, which will be this review is from four years ago. I bet you're still complaining. Oh, my God. Okay. Lauren one star. The worst of the worst. Yeah. They came in.

They ran over my dog when he pulled in my driveway. Kick me in the twat and push me along. This place, Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler. Knocked me down and then just sprinkled my mail over me. just like one letter at a time onto my prone fucking body. This place Jeffrey Epstein and Bill Cosby. They're just pieces of shit. It's just awful.

All the same. I think John Wayne Gacy works here. So the worst of the worst, they lose our mail all of the time, all caps, of course. All, not so. All of the time. Never get a piece of mail.

Every single time. Never even an electric. I'm like Henry Hill. Never gotten mail. Never gotten mail. I've called them every, day for two weeks and spoke with various workers who said they'd call me back with updates, including supervisors. And I have not received a phone call back even once.

Well, they haven't got an update yet. I don't think they got any updates for you, sister. I don't what to tell you. They have told me that I should check my neighbor's mailboxes for my mail, which is illegal. You can knock on their door and ask that. They can't tell you. They aren't telling you go through your neighbors. I don't think. I think they said check with your neighbors, probably. Just go like root around in their mailbox. Maybe it's something. and there you want. You know what I mean? Maybe they got something in there that looks better.

Maybe, I mean, you've got the same kind of generally the same size houses. Look at their electric. They'll probably similar to yours, right? They put lights on all the time, same time. Let me ask you, what colors your house? White? Look down the block. Look in every white house.

You never know. I'm just saying you never know. That's what I mean. See, the thing about this post, we don't go by numbers anymore. These numbers, they confuse people all the time. We go by colors. We go, this goes to the yellow one over there. And they be, you know, sometimes that gets fucked up, obviously.

You can see, you know. Sometimes we put the car in the driveway. You never know. White House Tahoe. Sometimes the Tahoe is not home. Who knows is what I'm saying. You know, things happen. Things get moved around the bag.

Go through them. It's fine. That's the, I can't believe they're actually saying they wrote that. The post office told us to commit a. I should check my neighbor's mailboxes. That's funny. They are constantly delivering my mail to neighbors as well. Well, then there you go.

Check their mailboxes. I'm telling you to do it now. I don't care anymore. Commit felonies. Fuck it. Who cares? I'm done. How's that?

I'm done. I'm done with the piece. Maybe you got a neighbor that sees not my mail and just throws it in the trash. That's what a lot of people do. especially because 98.7% of the mail you get is shit that you throw out anything. It's nothing. Yeah. It's garbage.

It's a peer one catalog and some fucking, you know, advertisement for some like laser skin care. Right. That's what comes. Or the statement for the bill that you already paid on direct pay anyway. Yeah, you paid. You did it online because who the fuck is waiting for their bill in the mail? I don't know. The only thing that comes to your mailbox is Christmas cards at Christmas and then I,

A IRS letter every couple of years. Every couple of years, it scares the shit out of you for no reason. They are constantly, okay. They are just the worst. Can't wait to move. To move? You're going to... Come on, I don't care if the kids are happy in their schools and they have friends.

We're moving. The post office sucks. Fuck, Pekskill, USPS. Wow. Ramona, one star. This is the worst post office in Peekskill. Okay. She's been to all.

of them, obviously. They constantly lose mail, give mail to the wrong addresses, and just recently lost my paycheck where I must pay bills. Okay. They hire persons. You get your paycheck in the mail? Not handed or direct deposit? Mailed. Mailed. That was the last paycheck. That's a lot. Romona got fired. That's a last paycheck. You got shit canned. That's what you're waiting on. That's why you're extra want in it right now, yeah. Yeah. They hire persons who cannot read or write. Okay.

Well, good. Do they hire the illiterate? I don't think they do. I think you have to at least fill out an application over there, right? And cannot deliver mail correctly. They need to hire all new mail carriers. Just burn it to the ground. Start over.

Start over. There's no safety or trust in this post office. This is a recurring matter and it never ends. And nor do they care about their customers. You're not really a customer to the post office. Right. The post office is like a discounted government service. That's why you go to, that's why you're going here and not to UPS, where they treat you much nicer and charge three times as much.

That's the reason why. Yeah. If you want to be treated. Which ever fucking shipping service you use, it's just, it's more because they're private. They're private. So you can yell at them. Yeah. Profit is involved.

You can go there. You can yell at them and they actually give a shit if you come back because it's a, there's people losing money. There's nobody losing money if you stop going to the post office. No one cares. Okay. Beware, she says. James, one star. This quote post office, now it's not even a, it's a, it's a quote post office.

Quote post office, quote, building where they house packages and put them out for delivery, post office. Steels packages from Amazon. If an Amazon package arrives to this post office, there's a 50% chance your package will be stolen. That's a pretty. Stolen. Not lost. 50% chance. He's got stats.

It'll be stolen. It'll be lost. Well, once taken, they changed the tracking number information to make it look like Amazon never sent it. But here's the catch. This guy's got the whole conspiracy down pat here. Amazon shows the package confirmed delivered to the post office. I've made a complaint. Obviously, that's going nowhere.

I suspect the manager of the branch is also in on the operation as well. He's in on it. It's a big honey pop this place. That's what it is. Holy shit. He gets irate when presented with evidence of stolen items. Please tell Amazon to avoid shipping with USPS in our area until this branch is under new management and the thieves are terminated. I think he means killed.

Yeah. Jesus. HF. One Star. Peek Skills Post Office should be investigated. Investigate these people. Yeah. A lot of the mail characters.

personnel take their sweet time and half of them don't go door to door. They skip houses, not just one house, more like a whole block sometimes. Oh. Sometimes two blocks as if they don't want the job. I have a video of them skipping a full block. This I'll be sending to the state board. State board of what? Mailman.

What the fuck are you talking about? The state board? Are you this deep into your mail? What's wrong with you, man? what's wrong with you? I'm going to find the board, what board of directors? What's the board? What state board?

I've never heard of that. That's like people going, I'm going to the Better Business Bureau all the time. That's doing nothing. Do we know anybody ever that was famous for working at the Better Business Bureau? No. Has there ever been a face of the BBB? No. I mean, the patent office had Einstein outside of that, no.

I have no idea who we're bitching. Municipal jobs. You get. Nobody to bitch to. We're all bitching to fucking just shadow figures somewhere. Somewhere. People in cloaks. Also, there are days no mail carriers come, or if they do, it's very late around four-ish.

Unacceptable. I don't care what fucking time the mail comes either. That's the other thing. I don't care. I'm not sitting there waiting for it. I don't have a, no one's off in the European theater in World War II, and I'm waiting to get a, we don't have that anymore. an update on what's happening. I imagine they have a schedule, and so they probably have a route where they run.

But evidently, I've always lived in the neighborhood and the route where the motherfucker shows up like at the end of the day. Yeah. So if I'm waiting on something, I'll get it around 6 p.m. Yeah. And it's my experience. Sometimes they come at 10. Sometimes they come in three.

Who the fuck knows? Maybe they go, I'll do my route backwards today just for change of pace. I don't know what the fuck they're doing. As long as they come, I don't care. this is a rough one, Rob, one star. I live three blocks away and my mail is never delivered on a regular schedule. They also take over a week to deliver my insulin

and it never arrives fresh. Insulin, that's important. That's important. You're getting stale. How long is that shit bad? It says the cold pack is always warm. I don't know if that's good insulin. That shit needs to be refrigerated.

So that's terrifying. And then I guess we will end it on this one here. Mm-hmm. R something. One star. The mail carrier complained that we have too many flowers in our front yard and too many honey bees, so he will not deliver our mail until we cut them down. He's allergic, man.

He's like, I'm not getting stung by a fucking bee going in your goddamn yard here. Over your bullshit junk mail. No shit. All right, we got to do one more. Pasquale. One star. Mail has not been received in over three days. Carrier shows up after 8 p.m.

that I've never seen That's wild That's wild I think he's just like He takes He does things his own way That is a He'll do it at his own shift

Its own base Yeah he made up a new shift Make my own hours When the regular carrier is away Service is bad When do they show up that midnight What happens? Yeah

Jesus Okay Let's get out of this country This has made me frustrated With being in America Let's get out of here We're going to Canada Oh right

across the border here. 2390 Roby Street, Halifax, Nova Scotia. Oh, it's out there on the island. In the northeast up there. We are going to Tony's world famous Donair, established 1776. And it says,

World's famous pizza and Deneer is on the sign. What's Deneer? Well, I'll tell you in a second here. We got it. We know what it is. 4.2 stars that has, by the 1600 reviews. A Deneer is a popular Canadian fast food wrap

originating in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It's kind of like a Schwarma pita and a kebab kind of thing mixed together. As a variation of the donor kebob featuring spiced ground beef sliced from a rotating cone like Schwarmah, served in a pita with chopped tomatoes onions and a unique sweet garlicky sauce. Sounds like Schwarma.

made from condensed milk, sugar, and vinegar. It is the official food of Halifax. Oh, they've got an official food. They do. And it's known for its distinct sweet sauce, which sets it apart from similar dishes like Schwarma. So, yeah, it's the sauce. Okay.

Here, I think it's Donair. D-O-N-A-I-R-S. Donairs. Okay. D-A-R. I'm not sure. Okay. Adam, five stars.

Beat Deneers in Halifax consistently serves the best Deneer meat I've had. The quality and taste are unmatched, and it's always my go-to place whenever I'm back home. One thing that really stands out is their Deneer egg rolls. Huh? What? What the fuck? Well, he's going to tell us, I think. They used actual sliced Deneer meat, which sets them apart for many competitors.

Highly recommended for anyone looking for an authentic Deneer experience. I guess they just put their... meat in there instead of like little pieces of pork they put that yeah yeah um Derek five stars it was my first and only denair experience in halifax and it certainly lived up to the hype it sounded like it was going to be and i am so disappointed my first and only the pita was massive and the sandwich itself had a such a unique blend of sweet and salty flavors thanks to their unique sweet sauce definitely grab one of these guys as a to go lunch if you're hiking around the city okay three stars from maya gave

this place a try since they're known for their famous Dunaire, but it is slightly disappointing. The sandwich was soggy and hard to eat without it falling apart. I ordered the Tony's famous Deneer, but did not expect the sauce to be sweet also. Well, it says it's the whole... If it's got garlic, how does the sauce? Yeah. It's signature sweet sauce, which sets it apart from Schwarma. That's the whole fucking point.

Problem is this isn't too sweet. Too sweet, apparently. Yeah. The cashier was not helped. When we asked what the sandwich has, he did not seem to understand our question and said, it's meat. Is there a language barrier? Does he speak French or some shit? What are we talking about here?

Does he speak fucking Inuit? What are we doing? So, and he did not seem to understand. We thought it comes with shredded lettuce or something. And their bathroom was out of service and smelled horrible. Well, that's why it's out of service. There it is. There's a problem in there.

Hi, I'm one star. I ordered the roast beef sub. for delivery. The sub was just mayonnaise with a paper-thin, single slice of roast beef. Gross. That's more of a mayonnaise sandwich with a roast beef condiment, roast beef garnish on it. A single slice of thin roast beef. They say Subway gives more.

Tastes like nothing. Very little vegetable, but tons of mayonnaise. That's the worst sandwich that's ever existed. Basically a mayonnaise sandwich. find the zoomed in, find the zoomed thin line of beef, L-O-L-L, basically nothing.

I would give zero if possible. And he's got a picture, and you can see here, it is actually a one thin piece of roast beef. I think I see a black olive in there, possibly. Black olive, yeah. Piece of maybe a red onion,

possibly, something like that. But definitely, that is a thin. I want to know what this meat. I want to know what this thing is. I want one now. I bet it tastes fucking good. I want one too. It sounds great.

Anything they shave off a big spit is always delicious. Yeah. I don't know why, but spinning around a bunch, it makes it taste better. Well, when they do it, so it's like a bunch of thin pieces of lamb and whatever the fuck, and they, like, put it on a spit and it drapes over it. So it's a bunch of layers. That's not just one piece. Yeah, no, no, no.

Yeah, it's all like. Yeah, it's amazing how they do it. Shaving pieces of particle board off, but in a good way. Mm. J.B. One Star, easily one of the worst dinaires I've ever had. Flavor, non-existent. I've tasted more seasoning from plain white bread. Really?

Unions and tomatoes were basically a rumor. I've heard tell of onions and tomatoes around these parts. There's been a legend of onions. Hi, I heard you guys got a rumor of lettuce and tomato? Shh. Keep it down. Shut up, dude. We fuck, dude.

bro the fuck are you doing don't tell everybody about it only a few people know about it bro chill what's wrong with you man coming in here talking about onions I gotta know what a good one looks like it's yeah look it up

it looks good D-U-N-A-I-O-R-N D-A-I-L-N yeah yeah it's oh and D-S is one of the plural that looks amazing it looks like Charma and a pita it looks great and just thinner bread right Yeah, it's pita bread.

Is it? Yeah, that's what they keep describing it as as a pita bread. They might have different kinds or they might have like a wrap something a little more thin. It's certainly a thicker than a tortilla looks a little thinner, whatever this one is. I don't know. Yeah, shit looks good though. I definitely eat the shit out of this. It does.

It does. It does. Fucking great. Okay. So these sauce tasted like they forgot to finish making it. I don't know what that means. They forgot some ingredients. Order to large, in quotes, and got what would look like a sack.

Mad medium at best. That's me. An extra sad medium. To top it all off, it showed up cold. Well, you got it to go, I think, here. From a spot that's been around forever and has Deneer in the name, it was embarrassing. Honestly, even a grocery store, Deneer kit, blows this out of the water. If this is what people call a good Deneer, quote unquote, they've clearly never had a real one.

Save your cash. You deserve better. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Christopher one star. Unshore how it got to be so highly rated. The food item in their name was not great by any means. This guy said better. Flavor wise, I rate it less than Greco's pizza. Well, fuck him if it's less than Greco's pizza. Greco's has them. Not Greco's. I thought I'd be set because I ordered a putteen in case the Deneer wasn't great. God, you're the most Canadian human that's ever lived. and then I shot a moose in my front yard on the way back from getting it. Got me a pepperette on the road home because it was so unsatisfied. Jesus Christ. And I drank an entire bag of milk because my stomach was upset, a whole bag, entire.

Okay. The puteen in case the denaire wasn't great. Nope. I got served French fry, cheese and gravy soup. You just described putine, my friend. What do you want? That's what poutine is. Cheese and gravy soup.

I've never thought of it that way? That's the exact way I would describe it. Cheese and gravy soup that for some reason people befal French fries with. I don't know why. Lose their minds about it. Sog up some fries with it. Good for you. To top it all off, the gravy wasn't that good for Poutine.

I went to get a pan of Pepsi and was told the price $3.26 a can. That's a little steep unless you're at a ballpark. You're trying to get rich on Pepsi? Damn. And I decided I didn't need it. drink and would choke down the food. Well, I'm not going to go that far. That's dumb.

The day before I tried KOD, which is, you know what that is? No. King of Deneers. That's another place. The Deneer King. Everybody recognizes it by its acronym of KOD. KOD, King of Deneers. So much better.

Total spent on chicken shwarmable, medium denair, regular putteen, $44 and some change. Jesus, don't waste your money, folks. Learn from my mistake. That is steep, right? That seems steep. That sounds like a lot. Good, Lord. Although, everything just seems to be steep now.

Yeah, especially food-wise. Oh, go to Taco Bell. It's, dude, I got, for me in the car alone, $18. And I was like, all I got was tacos and burritos. I was like, what? A regular tacos, like 279. Yeah. And you can eat, what, a dozen of them?

The combo, easy. Three of them in a drink is like $12. Yeah, and that's, you need way more stuff. Yeah, you're going to be so hungry in a minute. Holy shit. Courtney one star, extremely disappointed. Ordered a medium denare for one person and it was smaller than a can of pop. More expensive, though, I bet.

With a can of Diet Pepsi, it cost me $35 and $35 for delivery from their staff, meaning not a third party act. And waited almost 50 minutes for it. They didn't even include napkins, would not recommend. Yeah, something that doesn't even fill you up and a can of soda for $35 is a little steep here. And there's a picture of it. And the Deneer is like an inch taller than the Pepsi can, otherwise they're the exact same size. The same size, yeah.

Yeah, like maybe an inch longer. And that could be just PETA. Okay. Terry, one star. This is not the Tony's I know. No? No, it isn't. I've gone downhill.

For over 30 years, I've enjoyed their delicious done air and one-of-a-kind sweet sauce that makes this place a go-to whenever I visit Halifax. Right. Because we're all always going to Halifax, too. I ordered a medium diner with extra tomatoes and extra sauce with no onions. Drove from downtown to Larry Utec Drive to enjoy my food. Everyone knows that's the spot to him. Yeah. Oh, Larry's.

you're ever in Halifax, only to be disappointed with this. A dry and tasteless piece of heartbreak. Thanks for ruining my night and wasting my expensive gas. You pieces of shit. A piece of heartbreak. Heartbreak. It's just dinner, man. It's fast food dinner.

That's it. One star from Quang. The food was decent. Actually, dissent is the way it puts up. We'll let it go. But I don't understand why every time I order food, I order food, called for delivery an hour before closing. The person answered the phone say we are closing. I don't understand why they say that.

What the point opened their restaurant? It's a great question. What the point? Well, yeah. What the point? What the point? What the point of open restaurant? Yeah, places shut down out.

What the point? What the point? What the point? What the fuck? What the point? of open restaurant. Also, this might be the worst Schwarma plate I ever had.

I paid almost $20 for barely any chicken and not much salad and no pizza bread. Other than other places give more and are cheaper. I can't believe they still open this place, L.O.L. You can't believe that somebody that owns it

would operate it. Can't believe it. Mariana, one star. 10 minutes of wait for a small cheese pizza. Yeah. That's how long a pizza takes to cook. It takes about eight minutes to cook a pizza basically. Order a pizza. Two to make it. There you go. That's ten minutes. Totally overpriced.

The place is old-fashioned and the QR outside do not work. Overall, not nice place to take out your pizza if you don't have time to wait. Ten minutes? Ten fucking minutes. Call in the order, man. Imagine how bad your non-waiting pizza would be. If you had to wait, not at all. You just said pizza and they threw it at.

Go to Little Caesars. That's what hot ready is. Shitty and sitting there for a long time. Even the places where it sits for a minute, take your order, then they grab the pizza and put it in the fucking oven to make it hot. They make it hot. Yeah. It takes five, six minutes.

I don't have any idea what Deneers are. Okay. So she didn't even. I googled it too. That's it. No Wi-Fi for clients. Staff waiting time chatting instead of working. Mm-hmm.

Your pizza's in the oven. They can't make it, you can't open it up and will it to cook faster just because you're not talking to somebody. Hey, concentrate on making that pizza cook faster, please. They don't blow on the fire to keep it hot. That's not how it works. Yeah. Lev, one star. Cold, unsanitary.

No one uses gloves. Had to reheat my shwarma in their oven was so cold. She gave it back to them and said, heat it back up again. Please want this back up. Okay. Where is it? Okay. Is hunt?

Is hunt? One star. Order from Uber got a pizza with a wet base and weird smell. The shwarma was good. Probably eat when you drunk or high because then only you will be able to have the courage to eat their food. The courage. The courage.

I didn't know that that's what does it. Somebody alert the lion from... So you get some courage. Just smoke we even get high, buddy. Why are you going through all this brick road? I'm eating DeNaz. That's what I'm doing. I'm eating them.

I got the courage to eat Danaz. So, wow. Sometimes a foreigner's use of English is perfect. Sometimes a non-English speaking person's use of English hits it on the head. They get through the bullshit and says, only then will you have the courage to eat their food. Uh, shwanda, showanda. Shwanda, it's almost showarma. So good for you.

You should love this shit. Yeah. One star. It's wild how when someone calls and wants to order, you get told sorry, don't deliver here. But did a week ago and then get hung up on. Call back. They ignore the phone because of the phone number that call. Yeah, they told you no.

That's it. You're out now. No, we're not meeting you somewhere. Nope. Not doing it. No, this isn't fucking Elaine in her Chinese. food in Seinfeld. We're not doing this. Then I call and you and you just come up with lies of, oh, he put you on hold. No, you did not. You hung up and lie and say you don't deliver here,

but you were here last week. One thing about it, you lost a good customer that tips heavy with every order. Heavy tipper. The men working tonight need to have better customer service because how myself and husband was treated on the phone is wild. I can't believe it. We're. What the point. Wild. What the point. I need courage. BR, one star.

Overpriced to an exaggerated amount. A nine inch cheese pizza is $20 before tips. Yeah, that's silly. Get out of here. That's like those... That's $11, right? Yeah, that's like those drunken tourist areas in some of the cities we go to. You'll see that.

It'll be like midnight and I want to order a pizza and it's like $46 for a large. Like, are you out of your fucking mind? No. Because it's like a slice of... You motherfucker. Yeah. Fuck you. Does flour get more expensive after 10 p.m?

What happened? Yeah, what is going on here? That's ridiculous. The ingredients aren't even fresh. Canned tomato sauce and jarred olives. Yeah, no one's slicing up fresh olives for your pizza. Nobody's picking olives. There is a goddamn, there is every pizza in the country that has like black olives on it,

they come from a fucking can. No one sliced them perfectly symmetrically. What do you think they got them? A mandolin and went with each little fucking olive. No, it goes through a fucking machine and it gets canned. That's it. That's how you get olives. Ashley, one star, so stingy with their sauces.

Ordered a large garlic fingers and got the same amount of denair sauce that you'd get for a small anywhere else. Had to recut our pizza and garlic fingers because whatever they used was duller than a butter knife. Yeah, I do hate that. That's the rips and a half. And you're like, God damn it. You have a giant cutter. worse than a hotel because there's nothing I can do about it.

I have like a plastic knife I'm trying to saw through it with. When I worked at that pizza joint, that was my favorite thing was cutting the pizza because you could fucking take out so much rage you could slap that thing with that wheel and run it through.

Watch pizza toppings fly everywhere. It was so much fun. That's great. Ordered extra cheese and didn't get that either. Pretty disappointing experience, all in all. Jesus.

This don't air. I'll tell you what. Scar, one star. The worst Schwarma in my life for $20, a very small amount of sauce, 30 grams of chicken. You could, 30 grams will

take you all weekend to snort that shit. That's a lot of chicken. Yeah, that's a lot of chicken. That's, yeah, three and a half grams to an eight ball. We're talking, this almost, it's almost 10. It's like, yeah, it's like, fucking, you're building it up right here, 28 grams in an ounce. Jesus, you've got

a party. You got an ounce and two grams of chicken there. That's Pretty hot shit. So many vegetables. Pita bread cracked in many places. I recommend snappy tomato. They are juicier and tastier. Is that a restaurant or is that a different kind of tomato that she wants them to use in their wraps?

And the amount of ingredients to the price is not worth it. Okay. Jesus Christ. Alan One Star. I was there tonight to get a slice of pizza. And then I saw the employees fighting with a group of guys in a very bad way, abusing the customer. A group of guys. Whoa.

When I checked in with those guys, they told me the store charged them tip without consent. And when they asked, why did you put a $5 tip on a two-slice order without even asking? Employees started raising their voice. The employees were very rude and even went out on the street to have a verbal fight with those guys. This does not sound. Over $5. This does not sound very Canadian. None of this.

No. None of this is very Canadian. Taylor one star Got four Deneers with barely any sauce Delivery guy was very rude I was trying to add up the order In my order total in my head and got the answer wrong And he was like, did you even go to school?

Fucking dummy Called the store and they denied my complaint about the sauce Also they weren't compassionate about the delivery guy being rude Jesus Christ Tonys gave me no sauce and denied my complaint Delivery guy called me stupid Nah. Did you go to school? Idiot. And now we're calling you stupid, too. How's that feel?

Higher in one star. Ordered a Greek pizza for about 18 bucks, and to my surprise, I got a four-sliced handful of pizza, which would not be enough even for a kid. Not to mention it had almost no cheese and tasted like the most okay-ish pizza I've ever had. Okay-ish? Yeah. Not going back again. I feel like I've been cheated. would give zero stars if I could. Nice work. That'll work.

That's not, it's fine. That's fine. That's your alternate. That'll work. Okay. I'm not doing, this guy's got way too much bullshit to say. I'm skipping him.

Okay. Jesse, one star. I can't say this is good pizza. Went here just to grab a slice and it was quite dry. My old lady definitely agrees. How can it be world famous? My old lady. That's why I gave him that accent.

about his old lady. Yeah. Finally, Joseph, one star, very dry pizza. My child's diaper also smells better and probably tastes better. What? My child's diaper. Better than their food? Come on.

Come on now. Okay. That is amazing. All right. Let's, we've been to Canada. We've been to the States. We've been very frustrated by all these traditional things, post offices and Deneers and everything else.

Let's just sit in our rooms and learn how. how to play the guitar. What do you say? What have you got for that? Me and you, Jimmy, we have, this is on Amazon, this is, you got to get a beginner guitar, you know, we don't know if we're going to stick with it, so we're not going to get a real expensive one. It's a first act, acoustic sunburst guitar, 30 inch. These are for children. It's a children's guitar. Brass acoustic guitar strings, turning gear, string post covers, steel reinforced neck, strap buttons, you know, a guitar they just described. 3999.

See, you know it's quality instrument. $40 guitar. It's a quality instrument. I'd love to see a band play like a very famous guy. Slash, pick this up and fucking play sweet child to mine on it.

Just the solo. Let's hear what you got. Let's go November rain. I can't wait. Bring it on, bitches. It says, yeah, 3999. It says beginner's guitar. This acoustic.

guitar is perfect for beginners. The medium size makes it easy for teenage musicians to carry and use. You don't want to be seen with this. Easy to play. Don't take this to school, guys. You're going to get bullied. You're going to wear that guitar up your ass. You won't even need a strap.

Someone is going to John Belushi that thing against the wall real fucking fast. Look at what a piece of shit it is. Easy to play. This pre-tune guitar, that's not how guitars work. They go out of tune very quickly. includes chord cards for aspiring musicians to learn proper hand positioning and strings. It's ready to play right out of the box. It says beautiful, full balanced sound.

The brass acoustic guitar strings allow for a rich and balanced sound when playing. Okay. Right under that, it says, frequently returned item. Of course it is. Yep. Check the product details and customer reviews to learn more about this item. Okay. Because it comes pre-tuned.

People are trying to play this shit and they're like, there's no way that sounds like this. No fucking way. Here's Elena. Yeah, this is pre-tuned. So dumb. Elena one star. Future rock star in the making.

No, you are not. This kid's guitar is absolutely perfect for little beginners. The size is just right for small hands, making it easy for my child to hold and strum comfortably. The build quality. is impressive, sturdy and well made with a great finish that makes it look like a real mini guitar. Yeah.

The sound is surprisingly clear and pleasant, which is a great, which is great for early practice sessions. My child loves playing it and feels like a real musician. It's a fantastic starter guitar for sparking a love for music. Made his fifth birthday extra special. Oh, that's sad. It was just what he wanted. It's been very durable, no scratches or dings.

And this is what I would recommend, for a five-year-old. Yeah. Because a five-year-old might play it, dick with it three times, and throw it in a corner. You don't buy them a quality instrument. You buy them a piece of shit. And if they get really into it, then you go get them a real one. He likes it. Yeah.

And so, you don't have to buy an amp for this little fucker and ruin your whole life. And you could tell them to go kind of on the other side of the house and not hear it quite as my close your door. Go to your room, shut your door. Yep. Okay. Kiki five stars. Perfect, quote, real guitar for children. It can be tuned and sounds good, not just a cheap toy.

It looks like a real wood guitar, but made of sturdy plastic. Good quality. I got it for my two and a half year old. Dude, I was going to say, and he honky-tonk manned me fucking quickly. He said, I'm Jeff Jarrett and hit me over the fucking head. What's going on? And he's thrilled with it. It's a little big for him, so you might consider getting a strap.

You also might consider not getting musical instruments for two-year-olds. But what are the kids a prodigy? That's the thing is that everybody thinks their kid's a fucking genius. Yeah. Everybody's getting the kids of guitar and they're like, watch and play it. 90% of them look at it and they're like, I don't know how to do that. Kid going, don't, don't, don't, dunk, down, down, on the piano and you're like, he's playing it with his palms.

He's not even using his fingers. He's just smashing keys. He's not a prodigy. He's sliding across it on his hip like the Duke boy. Like Duke Boys across a car hood. Okay. Three stars. Good for younger children.

This is actually a one-quarter-sized guitar, which is fine for learning in younger kids. The problem is that the spacing on the strings is so small. It's really hard for an eight-year-old to properly play, so I would suggest younger than eight for this. It does get out of tune quickly, but it's fairly easy to retune. Overall, this is perfect for discovering if a younger child really really. wants to play guitar. Yes, if they can stick with it for a few weeks and show interest, then get them a real guitar.

You'll notice the difference. And if they don't like it, you're only out 35 bucks. Okay. Two stars. Description is misleading. The body is plastic. You expect quality like ash for this, I think. Yeah, I needed this to be a less poll.

Yeah. I got this for the daughter of a friend as I had gotten a first act for my son some years ago and was impressed by the quality. This is not that guitar in caps. Cheap plastic, can't hold a tune, poor tone, found a harmony that's much better quality, meaning harmony, the brand, capital H. You will be disappointed in this one. Yeah. Two stars, total junk. I can't believe you would sell a piece of junk like this. Amazon? Never. You wouldn't believe that? Wow, there's no shit on Amazon. Shocking. I can't even tune this thing. The neck is so off. I can't even tune it. I can't even tune it to one chord, three exclamation points.

One star, not for kids, for looks only. Right. It's $40. Yeah, not for kids. I've bought several of these plastic guitars to use as art projects. But word of warning, if you plan on buying a guitar for a child in hopes that they'll start playing guitar, this one will only discourage them. The scale is off, making it impossible to tune and intonate. It will never sound good. I've been playing guitar for 50 years, so trust me.

Go to a music store and buy a proper guitar, exclamation. Forget all about that macho shit. Get this bullshit. One star from Kimberly, you get what you pay for. That's the truth. I got this guitar because they claimed you could play it straight out of the box. Boy, were they wrong. When the guitar was delivered, all of the strings except one were completely off one end and needed to be re-strung.

Oh, shit. Yeah, they weren't even odd. That's not turned at all. Flowers die in three days. Matching underwear from Miandis? That's a gift that lasts. Meandes creates matching prints for couples and friends. Same adorable designs and different cuts for each of you.

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This guitar is awful. The plastic is unsightly. The sound is terrible after I watched a million YouTube videos and got it strung and kind of tuned. And it's not even fun to play around on because it doesn't feel like an actual guitar. Because it's not. Yeah. It's a toy. This is definitely not made for anyone over the age of five.

Correct. You're an adult who bought it, meaning. You're an idiot, basically. Buy or beware. Don't waste your money. Chelsea, one star. Cheap junk broke right away. Yeah.

If you want a cheap decorative guitar, then great. But if you want to play it at all, don't bother. String broke the first time she tried to play with it and sounds like a toy. No way to really tune it without breaking it. It's junk. Less than five minutes of her enjoying it. Going to take it to guitar center to try to get them to put better strings on it, maybe tune it. Just get a guitar from there.

You're going to take an Amazon guitar to guitar. Prepare to be laughed out of it. You're going to crack up laughing and go, these strings are worth more than this guitar. This is not a guitar, lady. No. Don't waste your money unless you want a crying, disappointed child. Okay.

And then, what is this? Came broken. This is amazing. One star. The G string was unraveled from the head of the guitar. I hate when that happens. I don't even know. The G string.

That sounds like that. That one was already played at a concert. Yeah, I think it was already up somewhere. It's already been in other places. He caught one. Unplayable. None of the packaging was damaged or anything. It came from the factory like this.

I could understand if the box was crushed, but no. The person who made the guitar just put it in like that. Okay. Here is one star from Janine. For children only. Did not dislike it, but it's for children. I am an adult. I still loved it.

It says all over it, like, great for kids, my first guitar. Like, what did you expect it to be? It's called first act. Yeah. Did you get play school toys? I was just going to say the domed yellow car, the red car with the yellow dome on it. Did you go my first car? You know, I'm disappointed it's bad on gas.

Where's the engine? No, lady, the same for you. You're an idiot. One star. This is a worthless product. The product has no musical value. It was purchased for a grandchild, but it's absolutely worthless. Yeah.

And then Dominic finally, one star, plastic prop guitar. I would use this for a costume because of the art design, but that's about it. The tuners hardly work. You will be tuning after every strum. Yeah, they're not good one. So every time you move a string, it fucking untunes it again. Buy a real guitar. Go to guitar center.

The place exists for a reason. Guitars are expensive. There's that, too. You can buy a cheap one that's a... Sure. You can buy... We got the Wayne's World, virtual live show thing.

The guitar I got there, it was a, you know, cheapy but a real guitar, an electric guitar. It was like $69 on Amazon. Not a good guitar by any means, but for a kid to try, it's a real guitar,

you could get them that. I thought that I could play, so I bought a nice guitar. Oh, I know. Now I just own it. Now you own a guitar. Was it... Who the hell said?

Some comedian was... I can't remember who, like, saying how many guitars have you bought in your life? And everybody they ask, they go, I bought like four guitars in my life. Four somebody I bought myself one. He goes, do you play guitar? And they go, no, I don't.

And they go, yes, making a guitar is the greatest industry in the world. Because everyone buys four guitars in their life and nobody fucking plays them. It's the greatest business ever. I bought a fender from my daughter. I bought my son. I bought my daughter an Ibanez. And then I have this, I think it's a Hawaiian. And nobody fucking plays guitar.

Not one of you. Not one of us going to play guitar. See? Isn't that amazing? Isn't that crazy? But I've got these three really nice guitars. Everyone, when you leave a review for your stupid opinions, whatever app you're on, leave a review, give five stars,

and just tell us how many guitars you've bought in your life and don't play. That's what I want out of you. Yeah, especially only if you don't play. If you play, I'm sure you've got it. Who cares? More than your share. I want people who play guitar, who don't play guitar, who bought many guitars.

How many guitars you got? All right. Let's go have some fun, God damn it, because I feel like there's no fun. Our guitar playing sucked. Our Deneers weren't that great. Things are going on. The post office isn't fun. Let's go roller skating, everybody.

Yay. Back to the rink. We're going to the fun factory. They got to have fun there. It's a full fucking factory. The fun factory. They make it here. Yeah, they're manufacturing it by the unit.

Formerly Wheels of Wonder, it says. Oh, okay. This is 175 Southern Plaza Drive, Indianapolis, Indiana. And it's described as old school roller rating, roller skating, not rating, roller skating, rink, and hang out with retro decor and arcade, a pro shop and adult nights. That's when they're fucking all over there. Fucking on roller skates. Pro shop. Pro shop.

The fuck is a pro-shock. Like a bowling alley as a pro shop. They got trucks or souls or something. A pro shop. Go in the pro shop of a bowling alley, by the way. It's the most, like, not while there's league night going on or anything. Just like go on like a Tuesday afternoon. And you'll see just the saddest man ever sitting in there.

I've never seen a pro. I worked in a bowling alley. They didn't even have a pro shop. Really? No, fuck no. My dad's like a really good bowler. So I've seen those. was like in leagues and like had like a 220 average.

Yeah. It was like a really, really good bowler. I mean, we had, we had league night, but you, they didn't have, they had balls in there that you could win. So like the championship team, they're the best bowler of it got a ball. But it was a fucking, it was the, the, it was a bowling alley branded ball that they were giving me. Yeah, it was one of the ones that you picked, just go grab one off the fucking shelf. Yeah, it was just like a brand new one. Yeah.

We were going to put it out there for some kid to fucking. can throw up in the finger holes up, but you take it instead. There's not a clear one with a rose in it. It's not like that. You're not getting anything like that. That's what I need. Julina, five stars. Lots of fun for kids to burn off energy and have a great time.

They have a vending machine, a small arcade, or they have vending machines, a small arcade food and drinks. There's plenty of seating and tables. They have lockers for personal belongings. You can rent skate aid and skates as well. I guess those are little walker things. Those are so funny. Yeah, those are hilarious.

If you have your own gear, they let you use it. That's good. Lisa, five stars. Thank you Fun Factory for your patience with me. Fun Factory. I arrived thinking I could just show my Groupon, but for the same reason, it wouldn't show up. And instead of having me sit there and find it,

which took about 45 minutes, she went ahead and gave me what was on the Groupon so the kids could get started skating, and I finally found it. It was all in my other email, not the one I thought. used. Thank you so much. This was a great experience for them

and they really had a ball skating, falling, getting back up and doing it again. That's what kids do. Watching them almost get hurt was a great day. Watching me go every time go, emergency room? No, not yet. Okay, good. Not yet. What's the tears about? She's all right. Should I get the car?

Okay, we're still good. All right. Get her one of those walker things. She keeps small. Patty, one star. Do not take your kids here on a Friday or Saturday. All caps with astericks around it. So this means some shit. My family had an absolutely terrible experience at the skating rink,

and I feel obligated to warn other parents. Okay. What was supposed to be a fun night with our children quickly turned into a situation where we felt unsafe and completely unprotected. Oh. A group of teenagers began threatening younger kids, including my 10-year-old son. Well, you're an adult. My family.

So a grown couple went there and was cowed by teenagers. I mean, speak up. I will kick a teenager across the room if they fuck with my 10 year old. Like, are you kidding me? Yeah, I just saw a video online of a bunch of teenagers beating up a man. And it made me wonder, how many teenagers can I really beat up? I don't know. I had that stand-up joke of how many eight-year-olds you think I could take.

How many 15-year-olds you think you can take, James? Because they can take a punch some of them. So maybe. No, they can't. And I'm not talking about... No, no, no, no, no. Some of them can, sure. Not an adult angry punch.

No, no, no, no, no. Not a punch from what we've been through in life. No, they can't. They're not going to eat it and keep coming. No, but they may eat it and, like, go down and then get back up. You know what I mean? Yeah, and run away, because I... I don't know.

Son, I got more for you. I'm angry. No. I don't know. A 15-year-old center on the high school football team might not give up so easy. That's a giant kid. Yeah, I don't think these are kids really. I think these are probably.

like punk-ass 14-year-olds. I'm assuming. The ones that hung out of the bowling alley worked out. Those were the asshole kids. I don't think like the whole offensive line here would have been a hanging out. I would hope not anyway. The blind side coming in. And even then, you're a child.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You have no experience in life. I have been through so much. I will fucking mangle you. How many 15-year-olds would it take to overwhelm you? We're talking average 15-year-olds. What are they?

5, 6, 5, 7? We'll call them 57, 5, 5, 8, fucking 140 pounds. I think that's legal. 140 pounds? Yeah. I mean, and that they're coming all at the same time? I don't, I mean, coming all at the same time. An endless supply.

They don't know, they don't know organization of fighting, so it's just going to be a melee. Like an action movie like ninjas coming at you, kind of staggered. Like, hey, and then you punch one and then another one come. But not like in a line. Because if they came in a line, you could just have a day long. Oh, God, I'll do that all day until I'm exhausted. Yeah. I just couldn't both my arms anymore.

I would say, I think at least three, probably four. If they were in a line, I'll bet you could take 15. All day long, all day long. But if there's like four of them and they're coming reasonably at the same time, I think I'm still good. I think I'm good at four. Three, definitely. Yeah, yeah. I think four, I think I'm fine.

Four is probably fine too. That fifth is going to be tough because then you've got an angle that you're unsure of. And somebody's coming from behind. That's true. That's true. Somebody's going to sneak you in the back. We're also assuming all these kids are coming like robots. They're not going to...

This is like they're saying, could a man beat up a fucking gorilla or whatever the fuck it was? How many men would it take or whatever? You're not... We're not accounting for after the first kid's face gets caved in and they fall down unconscious what the other kids are going to do. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Uh-oh. Because then you've got time to just start tagging the rest of them until they start running, I feel like, at that point. You're going to break for it. So who knows. But either way, I think that's a good experiment to figure out. Let's go out and try to find a bunch of teenagers to fight and see how it goes. Let's go to a juvenile prison.

Yes. And start a riot. Come on. One of them used racial slurs toward him, a 10-year-old, simply because he thought my son looked at him. Uh-oh. What state is this again? This is in Indiana. Indianapolis, right?

Yeah. Yeah. When my son's father stepped in and told him. the teen to watch his mouth, the situation escalated. More teens began circling us, and you're counting. How many of these can I take? Now you've got to have that realization. How many can I take?

This is why I think you've got to blast one of them and just be like, anybody else want a piece of that, motherfucker? Let's go. I mean, I know you can't just punch children, and I'm not advocating that. If they're circling, I'm starting the riot. If we're circling, yeah, I'm taking the first shot. And I'll deal with the ramifications of that afterwards. And pointing in our faces and making.

false accusations. One even took his shirt off as if he wanted to fight. Oh my God. I would crack up fucking laughing if it's 15 and all took his shirt off. You're like, oh my God. Your shirt comes off. That's a threat. Let's go. You have three chest hairs. Get the fuck away from me. Do you understand? His shirt comes off. That's him saying he wants, he's catching one. He's the first one to get one. That's the one who gets one. Yeah. He gets it first. As your shirtless compatriot, crumples to the fucking skating rink floor. I feel like the rest of you might take a second thought at this bad boy. And his fall might might wax that chest.

That's the other thing. These kids look to be between 13 and 16. Yeah, they're not even driving. Someone's mom dropped them off. Fuck you. I'm not afraid of anyone who came here with their mother. I'm just not. And if you take your shirt off when your mom drove you here, you're for sure catching one.

You're getting it. Security did absolutely nothing. Not one adult stepped in to de-escalate the situation or protect the families who were there to enjoy themselves. When I went to return my toddler skates, there's a toddler involved in this too. Oh, my God. A worker at the front counter, thin with a nose piercing,

started talking disrespectfully as well. He's like, yeah, motherfucker. I heard you guys punked out over there. When I said that the teens should be taught to be respectful, the employee actually claimed he would, quote, beat our grown-ass son. Okay. Beat our grown-ass son.

I don't know. Which is unbelievably unprofessional and completely unacceptable behavior from staff. I'll beat your grown son? What does that mean? Well, those were his friends. I guarantee that. Yeah. Probably.

This is supposed to be the fun factory. The whole purpose of monkey dues. Fun factory. It's your name. This was the opposite of that. Wow. Not a place where family. have to worry about being harassed, threatened, or jump by a group of unsupervised teens

while employees join in on the disrespect. If management wants this business to thrive, they need to raise their standards, hire better staff, enforce real security, and stop letting this kind of behavior go unchecked. Also, the floor had tons of debris on it. The pizza tasted like cardboard and the bathrooms were disgusting. You thought there would be good food at a fucking skating rink? Well, yeah, it's garbage. It's a hot dog and corn dogs and French fries.

Yeah. Sitting under the heat lamp. That's what it is. We will not be returning. We have kids to raise and a lot to lose. This could have ended very badly. Yeah, it would end with me going to prison for beating the shit out of teenagers. Wow.

I just be offering up a lawsuit for their parents. That's what I do. That's the other thing. Yeah. I strongly urge other, yeah, your shirtless child came in you. Sorry. I strongly urge other families to think twice before visiting.

They won't. Okay. We will end it there. And we will continue. This has potential, this skating. This is the best one so far. So we will end it. Right there.

Aggressive-ass children. Oh, dude, this is fucking insanity, dude. This is crazy. So anyway, there you go. So avoid the post office. Definitely watch your Donair intake. Buy a real fucking guitar. And go out there and punch yourself a teenager.

It's fun. Perhaps with that guitar. Yeah, do that. Also, head over to shut up and give me murder.com. And we couldn't even get that out. March 21st, get your tickets for the Phoenix, Arizona, live. stupid opinion show. We can't wait. It's at Stand Up Live in Phoenix. Get your tickets before they're gone because they are almost gone. So thank you so much for doing that. We can't wait. We're

real excited to see everybody out there. That's going to be the most fun of the year. So do that. Listen to our other shows, Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder. Check us out on Netflix, of course. And keep coming back every goddamn week over and over again because you can't keep us away. Until then, we'll see you next week, everybody. Bye.