Your Stupid Opinions - Piles Of Whatnot, Cans Of Disappointment, Massaging Your Tip

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for a massage parlor, that is in a mall, where a famous movie was filmed, but they make you feel like anything but a star. A major fast food chain's canned chili, that people swear is nothing like the real thing. A truck stop, where the "whatnot" is piled high, and cashiers need heavy security & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey, thank you so much for joining us today on another edition of a show where we talk about people you would never want to meet who talk about places you'd never want to go. It's awesome. It's really my favorite thing in the world to do for some reason. We do serious, like, not serious, it's a comedy show, but we do like murder shows. and crime shows. And this is just,

yeah, why don't you complain about a truck stop shower? That sounds great. Let's hear that. So that said, before we get into that, definitely shut up and give me murder.com

is the website. Get your tickets for the March 21st live show for your stupid opinions. We're so excited. We can't wait. There's still a few tickets left, but get them now because they're going and get in there.

It's going to be so much fun. Stand Up Live's a great comedy club. You really enjoy it. One of the best. One of the best. good food and good atmosphere and a real nice comfortable environment. No, not sleazy place with shitty cheese sticks. It's going to be great.

So definitely come out and see us. Shut up and give me murder.com. That's where you get those tickets. That said, let's head back to Baltimore. Here we go. To go to that TA we were at last time, which is a big giant truck stop, gas station, restaurant, hotel, shower facility. I don't know what to call.

It's like Disneyland for truckers, basically. They got it all. You can get your truck fixed. You can get new tires on there. It's fucking wild. Yeah. They've got dog walks and everything there now. Because a lot of truckers got dogs with them on the road now.

Yeah. Why not? So they got spots for that too. Think you'd want some companionship, you know what I mean? Yeah. Sounds good. Somebody's eat your scraps. Yeah.

Let's your truck stop scraps. Someone eat your leftover waffle house. Somebody to lick the dinty more can. What's a trucker's dog's life expectancy? about as same as a trucker, you think, about 30% lower than the rest of the nation. We're not sure. You know, there's a lot of truckers that do this shit for their entire life, but it seems like I've met a lot of guys lately, and I'll say somewhere in the neighborhoods to 10 to 12, that trucked and then we're like,

this ain't for me. No, this is horrible. It's a horrible job. It's so hard. It's insane. So hard. It's the hardest fucking job. So let's talk to or listen to Callier, one star.

Literally the worst truck stop in America. Three exclamation points. In America. The whole thing. And not just the country. I think the whole continent. Just fucking North Canada, Mexico. It's the worst.

No more free parking. Food and drinks are always expired. That seems like a weird thing. That's not true. You got like one expired sandwich and complain. Place is dirty and outdated. I wouldn't dare take a shower here. The staff is slow.

Oh, three Ws. Like the special kind of slow. They're now handicapped as well. Okay. Pumps are always broke up. They're always broke up. Well, it's not broke down. Yeah, they're broke up.

That makes them better, I think, at that point. And not working. So you've got to get out your fuel line and get back in, get out of your fuel line and get back in line just to find a working pump. Truckers, find a better fuel line. stop if you can and avoid this. Okay. Next up, foreign, one star.

I came, I came this TA my first time. He is foreign. I would say so. Foreign is sounds foreign. I came this TA my first time, but got bad experience not cleaning birthrooms. Birth rooms?

Okay. Listen, truck stops. I get you got to have hotels and restaurants and bathrooms and food. and all that guy of shit. But birthrooms? I don't think we need that, right? Listen, I'll bet there's a pregnant gal out there on the open road. It's got to happen.

Once in a while, when you happen to be passing by the exit with the TA, you start getting your fucking, your contractions. You got to do it, right? Hey, I'm dilated. I got like six centimeters here. Pull off. Let's go. My water.

Back in OKC. Let's go, man. Wow. The cleaning birthrooms, the cashier, unprofessional, absolutely don't know how to talk. to the customers so I suggest you, parentheses, the management, should take a serious action about their employees. Right.

No punctuation whatsoever there. Take a serious action. A serious action, just one though. FART, FART. FART. FART. Fart. Hello, fart.

How you doing? Fart, one star. Half their pumps don't work and the ones that do pump so slow it will take hours filling it. There is nothing. worse. Than a slow pump. Come on. Well, and they're getting so many more gallons.

Yeah. A slow one when I'm getting 12 gallons in my car. They're getting 100 gallons. They're like, fuck. I can't imagine how long. And it's like this all the time. Looks like you're in business just to piss off your customers. That's it.

Hey, want to open a big gas station, piss off a bunch of truckers? That sounds fun, right? Kind of do. Me and you. We're going to do this now. I want a bunch of one-star reviews from all. A man named Fart. Name Fart.

Yeah. So you know you made it, I think. What does Fart think about it? That's what we need to find out. Oh, that's funny. That's amazing. Paul Scott says one star here, disgustingly expensive.

$25 parking, $19 showers, and the little balding guy at the counter has a Napoleon complex with a nasty attitude afforded only by those with constant security guard protection. Did you already open up a fucking

TA and didn't tell me about it? You don't want to go in with me on a TA? You want to stand behind the counter by yourself? No. I got an attitude afforded to people with armed protection. That's read between the lines here. He's saying I wanted to fucking

throttle the man behind the counter. Too bad there was security. Jesus Christ. And the picture of him, he's got a big like Amish beard. No mustache. No, really? Yeah, big fucking, like, red beard with no mustache. I don't understand the parking fee.

Is that if you're going to stay overnight and sleep? Yes, you can park overnight or it's $25 for parking or they said it in a previous review last week. If you buy, if you spend $60 in gas or buy 50 gallons of gas or whatever it was, then you can get free parking. Yeah. So fill up and you get it for free. I think that's what they're saying here. All right, Marlin, one star. They were very rude.

They took the key from my truck. Oh? They didn't do the job. They forced me to change the truck's brakes, and they charged me without doing anything to my truck. Okay. They took his key and made him put new brakes on his truck. Apparently, yeah, they're really under control freaks here, these people. Oh, Napoleonic, the guy says, got a Napoleon thing going on.

Well, there you go. He wants to rule with an iron fist. I went to change the oil, didn't have the filter, and they also wanted to charge me. And they call me that police. I think they called the police on him is what he's trying to go out here. Because he wouldn't work on his own car. She wanted to charge me 240 without doing anything. And when police arrived, she charged me 140.

And there's a picture of a lady standing there. I assume she's the one who's doing the charging. Yeah. And one of the pictures, she's just like this. What? Her arms out and like a half smile like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like that's the look on her face. Yeah, what do you want?

Dave, one star, absolutely the worst customer service I've ever experienced. Ever. These people are looking for reasons to be mad at you. And they expect you to be a mind reader who can understand the gibberish they mumble. Oh, boy. Anytime someone uses the word gibberish, I enjoy it. So that's good. I like that one.

Wesley, one star. $25.69. We'll get you two dry Salisbury steaks, small order of make-believe mac and cheese. I don't know what that is. It's not real. It's just a bowl, and they say, use your imagination.

We run it like Rufio and hook around here. Yeah, you just pretend like you're eating it. It's fine. And crunch rice with beef water. Yeah. Rice with beef water? That sounds like a prison meal. I don't know.

All my favorite never foods. Crunch rice and beef water. Crunch rice. It sounds like mad limbs, dude. And there is beef water and crunch rice and make believe mac and cheese. And this is good too. Yeah. And wiped cream with a hint of chocolate pudding.

Wiped. Wiped. Yeah. But it's wiped. No. You need the H and the end. extra pee in there or else it's wiped cream and that's bad. I'm going to read

that one more time. 2569 will get you two dry Salisbury steak, small order of make-believe mac and cheese and crunch rice with beef water and wiped cream with a hint of chocolate pudding. That sounds like a culinary just a culinary

fucking outing right there a man with a white napkin over his wrist read that too. Oh for sure. Tonight we have the drug. Tonight we have beef Well, he held a silver tray in his hand with the napkin. The beef water, excellent choice, sir. Excellent choice.

Oh, you wanted the dry Salisbury. Yes, yes, yes. Now we have two kinds of mac and cheese. We have the regular mac and cheese. Very creamy, cheesy. Four kinds of cheese we use and a nice cap and tapy. We like this. Or make-believe mac and cheese.

Which would you like? And that's with the crunch rice, right? Okay. Yeah, the beef water. Beef water. Oh, man. There's a response from the owner. Probably just pour the beef water over that salisbury, right? I think that's what you're supposed to do, or the crunch rice maybe.

It makes it less crunchy, probably. I don't know what the fuck that person's talking about. The funniest food I've ever heard. And the picture of the guy, it's a real white guy with a cowboy hat and everything like English is his first language, and this is a mess. Don't type while you're driving a truck. He knows about wiped cream. A response from the owner, Wesley, thanks for sharing this feedback. We want you to feel good about visiting our centers so we apologize that we let you down.

We take your feedback seriously and are committed to improving. Now, obviously, that was boilerplate, form letter shit. But I read it just to say, why does Wesley with a Salisbury steak and beef water get a response when no one else seems to? What makes them go, oh, we can't have them talk about our wiped cream like that. We need to. And how do they take the time to respond and not mention that everything on their menu sounds disgusting? That's awful. We serve none of that.

That is a mess. What are you talking about? That's what you want them to say. We serve none of those things. Yeah, we have Salisbury steak, but our mac and cheese, we assure you, is real. We don't know what beef water. We've never sold beef water. And I promise you, no one is white.

the cream. I promise you. Swear. Oh, God damn it. Okay. Robert, one star. Full of dropped trailers and a broken down junk white Volvo with a knocked off hood that's been here for months.

Door is hanging off. It's full of junk. Clearly an abandoned junker. Nobody wants to park next to it in case the door falls off. Come on, T.A. So it takes up two spots. That's hilarious. Get it together and tow the the junk truck and drop trailers.

And how about reopening the restaurant? Can't get anything to eat at 5 a.m. But chips and candy. Ridiculous. Oh, I assure you don't want that food, man. You don't want wiped cream, brother. You're good. Just get the chips and candy and push on.

That's it. Yeah, go wait till it's day time out. Mac, which is an amazing name for a trucker. Yeah. Mac one star. With a CK? No, no, just MAC. Oh, okay.

A Mac, one of those. one star. There are no accommodations at this truck stop for the drivers, in my opinion. $30 store purchase to waive parking fee. Oh, so you can get gas or $30 at the store or pay $25 to park. Yeah. So you can get, but that's ridiculous. The dry Salisbury was $25.

You're already 25 there. I guarantee you you get a second order of that make-believe mac and cheese, and I think you're in. I think that's $30. Double it up. So $30 store purchase. Mechanics had me sitting over $5. five hours for a mud flap. Okay.

What? Forcing me to pay the $25 parking ticket. Bathrooms and showers are shamefully disgusting. Want overpriced hot food? Some days it's available. Most days it isn't. Oh, yeah. Want a bag to put your overpriced hot food or snacks in?

Extra 20 cents, please. Yeah. Okay. Coffee tastes like it's been sitting all day. Never fresh. No coffee, straws, or stirs, but I guess it doesn't matter since the coffee is lukewarm at best. This place is a comical money pit. No regards for or respect for drivers. They should shut this place down and try again, especially for the money you will be spending. Zero stars, if I could.

Yes, sir. Close enough. That's good. We'll take it, Mack. Not bad. You got these truckers, man, it sucks because they have no choice but to stop at some of these places because that's the place to stop at. And it sucks. This is their life. Yeah. They know where the best truck stops are in this entire country. Yeah, you can ask a trucker. Where are the They'll give you, oh, this one here. That was the great. They got a thing here. Their coffee's great.

They have good food. They know exactly the cleanest bathrooms. Joe, one star. I would give zero stars if I could. Well, that's close enough. That's close enough. You got it, buddy. Yes.

Okay, that's close enough. $25 for parking is absurd, but that's not what bothers me most. Oh, what is it? You're expected to just know that you need to fuel 60 gallons before going through the gate to park. I've been here over two hours and just want to spend money to fuel that I have, that I'd have to do anyways, but I can't get out of the lot without spending $35 in the store or paying $25 for parking. Okay. So I think he went in, didn't end up getting 60 gallons. So they charged him $25 to park, I think is what happened.

Oh, it's $60 gallons, oh, $60. It's 60 gallons if you're getting fuel or you can buy, spend $30 in the store, which is, extremely way less than 60 gallons of fuel that cost you. So, yeah, that seems like what goes on here. Tori, one star. Don't use the claw machine, y'all. That's where he start out.

Is it a scam, Tori? Wow, really? You figured that out all on your own. And there's a picture of like three pool tables and like a bunch of like a couple of claw machines. Are the pool tables for sale or are these people playing? set up. I think they have, looks like they have coin things on the side. It's like a, you can

stop and play some pool, I guess. Okay, they really expected this to be something it isn't, I feel like. Yeah. It's going to be a social gathering point for truckers. Don't use the claw machine, y'all. It doesn't work. Money was put in and it wouldn't work. Went to the cashier to see if they

would refund us the money. Nope. Three exclamation points. Us truckers will have to come back in the AM when a manager is on duty. They didn't even try to help in any way whatsoever. Lazy. Yeah. There you go. You're an idiot who put money in a claw machine and some fucking, what are you doing?

You're an adult in Baltimore. There's stores. If you got a kid with a birthday coming up, stop by a store. Stop by a store. Yeah, what are you going to do? Go home and go. I got this out of a claw machine and a filthy Baltimore truck stop. There you go, son. I want you a pig in a Harley Davidson leather jacket. Cool, huh? It only costs me 50 cents for the claw machine. It costs me $11 because I'm bad at this.

I'm not any good at the claw machine. Matthew One Star. This place is a dump and I live here. At the truck stop? He lives, wow. Yeah, where do you live? Damn, three exclamation points. I'm an over-the-road tractor-trailer driver.

I usually stay out a month at a time. Oh, what a nightmare. Jesus Christ. Fucking, I'd rather be in prison than fucking live a month at a time in a truck. I've seen Instagram pages of guys with like luxury trucks that they show like how they do it and how they live out there. If you are not in a luxury truck, fuck that. Fuck that. That is a nightmare.

I could never. And can't come home for four days. A month on the road, four days at home. Good Lord. In which I have to park my unit at this TA. Parking my unit over there. which costs $25 a day. And by the time I leave, I have to pay $100.

Yeah, four times 25 is 100. That's how it works. Some of the people working over at the store have a very nasty attitude toward customers. They used to have free parking, but now they've put up a gate. Two lanes coming in, two lanes going out. And you have to get a ticket to get back to get into the back now. The maintenance department's an absolute joke. Needed someone to look at my electrical system in my truck.

I was initially told at 9 a.m. that they wouldn't be able to get me in until 4 p.m. Because they only had one mechanic on duty. Remember that one mechanic that that lady wanted to fuck last week? Right. Working all on his own. I checked back in at 4. Then I was told they aren't allowed to do that kind of work on a semi. I told them, y'all could have told me this from the beginning, and I could have taken it elsewhere.

Needless to say, I had to wait until the next day to have my truck looked at because by that time it was late in the day. good luck with drivers trying to have truck repairs done at this location. Every sentence has three exclamation points in that entire thing. Here is Robert, one star. This place is disgusting. Uh-oh. The bathroom should be cleaned badly in need. The worst bathroom I've been in ever in the 10 years of driving a truck.

Never seen a worse bathroom than the T.A. in Baltimore. Think about where he has stopped. Yeah. every shit hall place on earth. Toilets literally, this is his, quote, plugged to the brim with toilet paper and whatnot.

That's poop is the whatnot. And whatnot. Plugged to the brim. I got to drop a what not. I got a what not brewing right now, boy. I'll tell you, I shouldn't eat in that taco bell. That whatnot is hurting me.

That is a knot. That is a knot. Um, gross. Higher a better janitor team or something. You charge enough for parking. No reason for disgusting bathrooms. Yeah, that's a great point. That's it.

That's like, yeah, there shouldn't be. Cleaning the bathrooms doesn't cost anything. Right. The thing is, right. They have to go in and actually wipe them. That's it. It doesn't, the people are ready at work. You're already paying them an hourly wage.

You're already here. Yeah. Just have them clean the fucking bathrooms. State parks can't charge entry unless there's running water and restrooms. Not necessarily running water in the restrooms. There just has to be an actual place to use the restroom. Okay.

If you're charging parking and the restroom doesn't work, you don't have anything. No. You just have a lock of concrete that you can put your truck on. And if you charge me to park here and the restroom doesn't work, guess where I'm leaving this somewhere? This ain't going in my truck with me. Oh, guess what? I'm putting this whatnot in the corner.

Either way, you're cleaning my whatnot in whatever place I put it. You're taking my whatnot. I've paid you to take it. If you go ahead and clean up the whatnot holder there, I'll put it in there where you want me to put it. Right. Otherwise, I'm putting in the trash can or the sink. Or the parking lot, maybe. Or the corner, or the parking lot.

Right behind my tire. You don't know. You don't know. Dealers choice. Exactly. When we're talking about what-nots, it's really dealer's choice at that point. Burke, whoa, Bickram Jit. Bickram Jit, one star.

Hi, hi, Bickram Jit. I never put reviews on any property, but this time I had to put it. I took a shower from the travel center, but the shower gate got stucked. Not stucked. It got stucked. It was not opening, so I asked a young guy to help me out. He was a worker wearing a T.A. vest, and he replied, I'm not here to open the doors for you.

Get lost. Okay. Not my job, asshole. He probably thought you were inviting him in for a fucking blowjob or something, honestly. That feels like a place where I tell people to get lost. Yeah, listen, I'm not coming in the shower with you, asshole. You got a towel wrapped around your waist. Don't ask me for shit.

Your balls are free-flowing right now. I'm not doing it. I just want to ask T.A. if this is a correct behavior to behavior. to behave with a customer. I have multiple trucks which put gas from TA, but I swear I am going to throw that cards out and will put fuel from different gas stations.

At least they know how to behave. The guy was tall and black. If management won't take many people, many people will gonna cancel your membership like me. Will gonna. The tall, smooth chest black guys, I want to have conversations with them in the shower. Yeah, I don't want to talk to you in the shower.

Fuck you. Jay, one star. I wouldn't give it one star, but I have no choice in that matter. No, that's not how you do it. If I could give it zero stars, I would. Especially at a truck stop.

All that language? You don't need all that. It's so many words. This place has not changed since I started driving a truck back in 1999. Well, I'm fibbing a little. The restaurant has closed and they charge an outrageous price for parking.

I was afraid to drop another $18 for a shower, fearing that it would have been exactly the same as some many moons ago. Five dollars to receive a fax. Who's faxing you shit on the road anyway? And it's $5? $5.

$2.000. Holy shit. Come on, TA. We deserve way better. Jesus Christ. I would say. Christopher one star. What a horrible woman, two explanations.

Exclamation points. T.A. is a horrible woman. Horrible woman. That's, you know what, it's like a sea captain. You think of a she, like they refer to the boat as she. Yeah. I think it's the same thing with, you know, a truck stop if you're a trucker. What a horrible woman.

A horrible woman right there. I went in and kindly asked if they had an RV dump station here. May I kindly dump my whatnot in your establishment is what I asked. Hi, is there a place for me to drop gallons of whatnot? Gallons and gallons of whatnot. There were four people. Three basically just ignoring me, but one woman kept looking at me,

kept looking at what she was doing and said no. Well, another looked up and asked what I said, so I repeated it, and this time the woman still not looking at anything else, said no. I don't know what he's talking about, the RV dump. I won't spend my money here, L.O.L. Okay.

And then we'll probably end on the truck stop with this one because it is long. and crazy. Melody one star. Traumatizing experience. Oh. We were treated like criminals. Me and my husband, first time going in the truck stopped to go to the shower. Boo. Gross. Melodies on the road with him. Oh, yeah. Paid for it at the register and followed the sign that says shower and we saw one that says vacant. Tried the PIN number and it opened up. So off we go to the shower. I was halfway through my shower routine. A loud bang on the door shocked me and my husband. I was confused at first and my husband thought it was just some truck driver and a couple

minutes more loud banging and screaming at the door threatening us that they will drag us down the hallway while swearing and cussing and rattling keys that they are going to pop the door open. And as a lady, I'm petrified and all confused what is happening. So I said, we're finishing up. We paid for this and we said we're sorry. We didn't see no sign. Didn't see no sign. You can't use So the double up. Yeah. They're probably like, don't fuck in there, please. This is people pick up lot lizards and can go in there and have a place to fuck for $18.

Yeah, this is not, no. But we're married. It's okay. So when we got out to the security guard across the hallway says, here they come. The janitor was all over us, screaming and accusing us that we just entered the building without paying for it. Oh, it's not the double up. It's the fact that. It's the fact that they think they didn't pay for the show.

Y'all can't fuck in there without pay. You got to pay to fuck. It's pay then fuck. We call it pay and fuck. Make sure your what not goes down the drain, too. We don't want none of that in here. Oh, God. And started saying that the shower we went in is out of service, which I've mentioned.

All we saw was it's vacant and the PIN number on our receipt worked. And the cashier is as bad saying to me, where is your receipt and don't cry? and that... Stop cry. Stop crying. That works. Where's your receipt? And don't cry.

And that quote, you should have gotten out when you were told. I'm like, so I'm halfway soaped and wet and they want me to get out. And the guard and the janitor as we were walking away, they said something about elderly pertaining to my husband. And the berating continues as we exit the building. At this point, I just want to get out of there because I was petrified. They will attack my husband. I think he would attack them, I would imagine. We were treated like criminals when it could have just been handled professionally.

I was just shocked and still shocked two days later about the experience. I wish I could rate this zero star or millions of negative stars. Millions. The worst. The shower didn't work, but it worked. So wonder why it's out of service. Maybe it's the drain is stopped up and it like slow. You know what I mean? It's a slow drain or something?

Maybe. I'm not sure. I don't know. All right. One more finally. Shut up, Sucker. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, that's pretty good. One star. This place is one of the rudest clerks I've ever seen. I stop at this place frequently, and this black girl that works the cashier is absolutely outrageous. Every person that's outrageous here has been described differently. So it sounds like they have a full staff of assholes.

Of outrageous people. She's fucking gem. She's outrageous. She always has an attitude, and whenever you need help with something, she acts like it's ruining her day. Lord forbid you try and talk to her about anything. Lord forbid. All right. Let's get the fuck out of there.

Let's hop in our truck. They got a whole staff of jerks. Of outrageous jerks. Let's hop in the truck here. We didn't eat there because there's a restaurant's closed and the food was expired. That was dry Salisbury. Luckily, we have a can of food we can eat here in the truck.

It's a can of Wendy's chili with beans. I'm going to tell you, man, it's so good. You like the Wendy's chili with beans? Yeah, I get every time, it's not going to be a glowing review. Apologies, Wendy's. We're the one putting it in a can. Fuck them.

You didn't put it in a can. Three, four times, and every single time, I've gotten sick. Oh, yeah. Good going in, though. It's delicious. But you will, you will shit. It's terrible coming back up or if it got, God forbid, it gets through.

It's a nightmare. If you run it through the garden, this shit's a mess, huh? Yeah, I've thrown it up three times, I think. Hey, not bad. Every time I get sick. Oh, man, I threw up chili and it was not canned chili, good chili that Sarah made like eight years ago. And there was a skin of the. No, no.

That's stuck in my throat. Just kept you going. I cannot eat chili with beans in it since because that skin on that thing, I can still feel it in my throat. Just kept you going. It keeps you gagging. That's the worst when you do. I couldn't get it. I was like, it's horrible.

You do let it go and like a piece stick somewhere and gaggs you for. There's nothing. I don't know. There's somebody. Kidney bean skin. Yeah. It's just so awful. So this is a Wendy's Chili with Beans, 29, grand.

protein per serving. James, quote how fucking much this shit is. It's expensive, too. 15 ounce can is $4.62 cents. Yes, it's $5 a can. That's a little excessive.

What's an order cost you at the store when they cook it for you? Three bucks, four bucks? So how is it more expensive? And it's so much more chilly than this. That's what I mean. This is like a normal can of chili. It's a can.

Like a Campbell's a bowl. soup can, but with chili in it. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. And it'll make you sick. Apparently so, I'm going to read you all the ingredients in a second here. Stock up on the Wendy's chili you love in a can. That's the advertisement for it.

$4.62. Ingredients. Beef is the number one ingredient. That's pot of it. That's good. Tomato puree, which is water and tomato paste. Cook kidney beans, cooked pinto beans, onions, water, diced tomatoes, and juice.

celery greenbelt peppers contains less than 2% of that's all the main ones and then contains less than 2% of this is the add-on list here there's a lot of shit in this wow salt beef broth beef tallow sugar modified cornstarch

corn starch natural flavors chili pepper beef flavor contains beef extract yeast extract salt flavor maltodextrin lactic acid citric acid onion powder citric acid tapioca starch,

yeast extract, garlic powder, dextrose, disodiuminozaate, and dysodium guanolate, xanthum gum, autoized yeast extract, gum Arabic,

maltodextrin, and smoke flavor. And it may contain soy. You never know. It is not Wendy's Chili, is what you just said, Because that is not what they make it. They don't put all that fucking shit.

That's a lot of chemicals and those are all preservatives, I imagine. But here's the crazy part. Okay. It's about two servings per can, I guess, is what it is. Okay. The salt content, the sodium on a serving, which is one cup. Yeah. Is 45% of your daily salt.

Whoa. That's a cup of this jelly. But I mean, that's most soups. Most soups are that. They are just all. That's why you're meant to eat them when you're sick because it helps with the rehydration. Yeah, an electrolyte type of deal. It's just very high in sodium.

You will, man, it'll make you feel like shit. That's, yeah, you'll feel gross. All right. Well, let's get to it. Five stars. Best chili ever. How dare you? It's very good.

Uh-huh. Our Wendy's is known to run out of everything because either they don't order enough food, potatoes, meat, beans, etc. Or they don't prepare enough ahead of time. So it's nice to know that you can open up a can of Wendy's Chili's, a chili, and create your own taco salad. Ugh. That's what you put on a fucking taco salad?

No, it's not. No, you put taco meat on a taco salad. That's not taco meat. It's not fucking chili. On a fucking salad. I have gotten taco salads that have had chili on them before. What the fuck are you? The Northeast is such a hit and miss with Mexican food.

It's crazy. That ain't it at all. I've gotten a taco salad with fucking kidney beans in it. And I'm like, what am I eating here? This should be like some carne asada meat or some ground taco meat. Actual. Yeah. Or some just any kind of chili cook carne.

But not that. Not this. This is disgusting. Jesus Christ. Without even going to the restaurant and being told, sorry, we don't have that. Not to mention you're saving money, which we already. figured out you're not. No, you're not. Also, I've never seen a Wendy's run out of chili. The amount of chili they have on hand is crazy. It feels like if they don't sell it all today,

they'll put it back out tomorrow. Bet you put it in the bridge. You know what I'm saying? I don't think that's the end of the chili. I think it's a continuous never-ending chili pot probably. And it probably will taste better tomorrow because all that shit sticks together and makes more flavor. Probably. We'll just throw more in there. We'll top it off. Okay, five star, three stars here from Thomas. You would think I would learn.

Yeah. I like when they start out like this. Like, look, this is my bad, but still. Look what I've done again. Yeah, this is my fault. I should have done it. If something as well-known and loved by consumers is available in the freezer, the taste is close, but never as good as the real thing.

Yeah. This stuff came in a can. it's going to be worse. For what it cost, it should have been frozen. Whoever manufactured this chili, there are too many changes and it tastes nothing like Wendy's chili, not even a little bit. But worst problem of all is the overbearing flavor of some sort of metal taste in the soup. You know, a can. Like a can.

Wow. It's terribly acidic. It was cooked very nicely with the beans. beans being done completely. Anyone eating great value, Hormel, Texas Pete, and the rest of the cans of chili, kidney beans or a few other beans,

kidney beans or few other beans not typically used. We'll find beans do not tenderize for some time. This is due to the bean starch being solid inside the bean peel. Okay, Bill Ma'clock. Take it the fuck.

What are we talking about now? Why are we having a fucking food science class about bean technology? Don't tell me how a bean cooks. I don't give a fuck. Jesus Christ. This isn't how it's made, Mark Summers. Fuck your mother.

Yeah. This chili is not Wendy's chili. Get stag. It's the same fucking thing. It's not going to be good. Yeah. It's a can of chili. Yes.

That's what you get. Pay 269 for something else and tell Chili's fucking do it again. You're not doing it right. This ain't it. And if it's for hot dogs, get that wolf brink. Grand hot dog chili. Yeah, that's the best. With no beans.

No beans. No beans. I can't eat it. Can't do it. I'll gag it off. But if it's for chili dogs, I don't want beans on my chili dogs. I don't want them either on that. It doesn't belong.

They fall off and shit. Yeah. Fuck, it's so good. I love a chili dog the most of anything. I could eat nothing but chili dogs. Especially if it's shit cheap chili. It's so good. I love it.

This can, the beans were soft with the skin semi-tender. The hamburger was relative to budget ground beef and isn't really that bad. The chili part of the equation is what I paid for. The flavor of the tomato is not good at all that needs a lot of work. Okay. Overall, not worth the price. I should have gone to Wendy's. It would have been easier and I would have had twice the amount of chili.

But most importantly, I would have had the flavorful stuff they sell. Right. The flavorful. Okay. Three stars. It was just okay. Nowhere near the delicious flavor at the restaurant. That's true.

I'm sure. Okay, one star. And it's thick as shit, James. Yes, it looks thick. You could, you could, you could make a chili ball out of this and hit somebody in the fucking face with it. It's so thick. It looks like, like, like, cat food, like the way you have to, like, you know, fling it out of the can. Oh, you got to use a spoon. Oh, really?

You have to go, like, around the side with a butter knife, like cranberry sauce? It's so bad. Yeah. You could tip it upside down, and it will not come out. Oh, that's awesome. That is delicious, I'm sure. That's a good sign. But a Chili's, a Wendy's chili does not do that.

No, no, no. It's loose. If you empty that, it's all over your foot. Oh, yeah. I would hope so. It's going everywhere. It's not a blizzard. It's not a blizzard.

They don't do that when you get chili at Wendy's. They hold it upside down to show you. Yeah, if they held that upside down, it's all over your car. And they go, we'll get you another one. We just wanted to show you that it falls out. Oh, God. All right. One star from Denise.

Get my composure here. Stop shopping Walmart. Rip off. Yeah. Okay. Did not realize was not in store for curbside pickup. Then charged me $4.42 for each can to deliver to my house. Oh. I am not ordering. That's yeah, it was more expensive up there, I think. Yeah.

I am not ordering from Walmart anymore. This and other overpriced items that are not in store have made me shop elsewhere. No more Walmart. All right. Every sentence has five exclamation points in that one. And they're taking it out on Walmart. Just four. Wait until you get it and try it. You're going to take it out of yourself. You're going to be mad at Dave Thomas in a minute. Don't worry. One star from Jessica. Wendy's Chili is the title of her review. I bought this Wendy's chili thinking it would taste as good as the restaurant. Wrong, all caps, of course. Swing and a mess. Swing and a miss. Don't waste your money on this. It's gross. Even my 16-year-old, who's an avid lover of chili, was sadly disappointed.

Even a teenager won't eat it. It's so fucking bad. I got a 16-year-old that really is into chili. He's a fucking connoisseur of this kid. He's entering a cook-off this weekend. It's really awesome. Why does that kid eat so much chili? That's what I'm wondering. What are you doing to this kid? Jesus, man. That's like more of an old man thing, making chili and being into chili. Like, I like chili.

It's great if it's there, but I'm not like, let me show you my chili. Yeah, I don't do a cookoff. I'm not entering this pot in anything. Most of the ones I make come from a can. Yeah. I'm about 20 years away from that kind of level of interest in any kind of cookoff of any kind. Food or chili. Yeah.

Anything, yeah. Tiffany one star. Now, I happen to be a foodie. No. If you ate this, no, you don't. And also a critic. You're a food critic, this person? For who?

New York Times, can you eat Wendy's chili in a can? Wow. I happen to be a foodie and also a critic. And I know for a fact that this is so far from Wendy's chili. Right. She's saying she's reviewed Wendy's chili. It actually tasted like death in a can. I don't know.

As the old people say chunk it. What? Chunk it's a crumpet, throw it out. Is that you're saying? Is that what old people say? I don't know. Have I lost touch with the olds? I don't know what's going on.

Do the old people, do they have new slang? I don't know about the olds? Are they coming up with their own shit now? Yeah, most people say, as the young kids say these days, this lady, as the old people always said, chunk it at the sock off. Chunk it. Okay, whatever. Linda, one star.

Don't be fooled by the label. Yeah, that's right. Yep. I have always loved Wendy's chili, so when I saw this chili, I had to have some. Had to have some is a great line. I don't know why. Yes, it's pricey, but for Wendy's chili at home, anytime I want, it's worth it. That's right.

I bought three cans to try. Wow, they were getting off to a hot start. She got $15 deep. And Wendy's chili. Oh, G, it smelt horrible. Yeah. Smelt like the fish. Yeah.

Not only did it smell horrible, I was stupid enough to believe that it would taste just like Wendy's chili. Because after all, it was a Wendy's brand chili, right? Right. Wrong. It does say Wendy's right on the fucking can. It's got that ginger bitch right in your face saying chili, asshole here. It tasted horrible. I prefer homemade chili, my mom.

myself. Well, no shit. It's like I, reviewing a jar of ragu. I prefer, you know, my grandmother's homemade sauce, you know, obviously. No shit. Um, but. It's like reviewing saltbury steak. I prefer the actual New York sir wine. I prefer a New York strip, you know, dry age, possibly something of that nature, but, you know, tried this. I took a chance. Took a chance. It doesn't live up to it. And, you know. Yeah. Homemade chili takes hours to make and you got to do. I prefer that. But, you know, I prefer that. You know, this can is different. For a quick, but for a quick fix,

our normal go-to can chili brand is armor. Well, we will not be switching to Wendy's brand. That is for sure. You're eating armor? Golly. And the reply from Wendy's consumer care. Oh. Says, hi, Linda.

Thanks for sharing. We appreciate your feedback. We're sorry your recent purchase of our Chef Boy R.D. Beef ravioli wasn't up to your satisfaction. What the fuck are you talking about? Why does Wendy's... Yes. Thank you.

There you go. What are they... What the fuck do they have to do? What the fuck do they have to do? Ownership of beef ravioli. Yeah. Does he own everybody now? Chef Boy R.D., too.

Fuck this. I'll bet you. I'll bet you they licensed their name and some... Maybe. Somebody else is making it. Because it's not. And I can't stress that enough. It is not Wendy's Chili.

It's not coming from. from the Wendy's kitchens, I don't think. Or the Wendy's whatever home facility. They probably don't have a canning center also. So they probably, I'm sure, because that's a big operation. Right. You got to have a building and some machinery to do this shit. Yeah, they farm that shit out.

This is not it. It's so thick. I can't, I can't stress that enough. And I will have no one besmirch the good name of Chef Boy R.D. Beef Ravioli, by the way. It's the worst best thing in the world and I'll fucking eat it anytime. I don't care. Yeah, it's crap.

It's such good crap. I'll eat it right out of the can. Fuck you guys. Beefaroni. Crack the fucking can and give me a fork, bitch. I'm in there. What's the, the meatball one that they have that is fucking delicious?

Oh, meatball one, I don't know. Oh, they have like a spaghetti and meatball. They have a little meatball. But I don't think it's the spaghetti. I think it might be, is it spaghettios with meatballs? I think it is. That's different. That's SpaghettiOs.

That's Franco American, different brand. Is that not Chef Boy, R.D? No, no, that's Franco American. Totally different brand. But I also love fucking SpaghettiOs as well. And with the little shitty meatballs in them. Those meat balls. They look like deer shits.

They look like deer shits. They look like what-nots just floating around in there. But they're delicious. Give me a can of oops all what-nots. I'll eat it. Oops all what-nots. That's fucking amazing. Oh, God, where are we here?

Oh, yeah. Brett Wendy's is talking about. for Avivoli. Okay. One star from Michael, like many others have said, this is not all caps, Wendy's chili. Oh, God, I love it. Campbell's is much better and tastes more like Wendy's than Wendy's does.

Campbell's makes chili? They make chili? I didn't know that either. So it was my next question. One star from Randy, Randy, not like Wendy's is the... Right. All exclamations and everything else.

That's the title. This is not like the restaurant. Not worth the money. Can dog food smells like it would taste better. A hundred percent. That's exactly what the smell. When you open the can, it's a hint of dog food set. Yes, it is definitely that.

When you cook it, though, and then put onions and cheese on. Because, I mean, if you're an adult, you can doctor it and make it edible. That's what I've done every time I've ever eaten it. And it's really good. That gets it good because it tastes like actual food. But then you get sick. That's why you're sick because you're mixing real food with this. You can't do that.

And I have also taken a little bit of my leftover beef that I had in the fridge that I hadn't made with whatever the cheeseburgers or whatever. I put that in the pan first, cook that up, then put the chili. So more beef. More beef. More beef. More beef. More flavor. You get the juice of the beef. Still got sick. Yeah.

Makes it less thick when you get the juice. You'll also still get sick. But you'll get sick. Yeah. You're going to get sick. It can't be fixed is what you're telling us. No, whatever's in that can is just food poisoning. It's a car with a terrible engine putting tires on it isn't going to make it run any better.

It doesn't matter. We put the gas tank in the Corvair in the wrong spot. It's going to explode. You can armor all the seats all you want. It's still going to run like shit. It's still bad. One star from, oh, this is Randy. Yeah, canned dog food.

This stuff is so nasty. Bad, yeah. I do not recommend. So is eight O's. Wow. That's some commitment there. Okay. One star from Catherine.

Cairns always dented on arrival. Who gives a shit? Who fucking cares? It's chilly. You're not breaking the beans. What do you think is in there that's so precious and delicate? I can't get to Walmart easily. We'll be looking to buy elsewhere.

But she loves the chili, though. Yeah. Okay. That's the other thing about these cans. They do not have the pole tap. No, I saw that on the picture. If it is, if it is, that's a motherfucker to open.

Oh, yeah. You got to get around it. Yeah. Old school there. Sandra, one star, was a bent, was bent in a can, was bent in can and made me sick, I believe. Yes, I believe. Yes, we do believe you. I believe you.

It was a pain in the ass to open and then I threw it up. All over the place. One star, Diane, usually really good, but it would have been a lot better if there hadn't been mold in the bottom of the can. How? How does mold get in there? There's preservatives in that can. Yeah, you read the list.

Right. Oh, you heard it. I know what it is? You know how when you get beans or anything and the bottom of the can is just like dark? This lady doesn't know that that's just what the bottom of a can looks like. Yeah, it's not mold. It's just Wendy's chili in a can. That's what it looks like.

See, you're buying food in a can. That's the problem. The bottom is always not good. No. One star. from meme, don't waste your money, go to Wendy's.

Too spicy. Too spicy. I saw no spices in that list of ingredients. There's nothing that could be spicy in that entire list of ingredients unless you think onion powder is spicy. Right.

You've mistaken spice for salt. Yeah. You don't know how to taste. You suck. I will buy the Chili Chili's from Wendy's, not even close to as good as ordering from Wendys.

Wendy's. Then one star from Karen, bent can. Can was so bad, can't, can't, can was bent so bad, I couldn't ear. What? They couldn't ear. They couldn't ear, E-A-R. Oh, eat. Eat, eat, couldn't open the can to eat it, right.

There you go. Jesus Christ. Wow. Couldn't hear, goddamn. Couldn't hear it. One star from Lisa wouldn't recommend unless you tin soup. Okay. I don't know what that means.

Let's try to fix that spelling error. Good luck, everybody. I'm sorry to say I disagree with the other reviews. This is not Wendy's Chili. That's what everyone has said. Everybody said that. I know Wendy's chili. No, okay.

I used to always purchase extra and freeze it so I had it on hand. What? What? No, that's too much. Who's done that in the history of this planet? I have never bought anything from a fast food restaurant, and freeze it for a later taste. And I'm doing the freezer.

No. Sarah put her foot down when I tried to put a bean burrito in the fridge for later. And those things warm up fine if you wrap a wet paper towel. She said, I will not allow you to do that to yourself. And she threw it in the garbage. That's just from growing up poor and cheap. And you're like, oh, put it in the freezer. I'll eat it later.

Frozen Wendy's chili. How do you even do that? Do you just put it raw dog it in there? Do you put it in like a plastic bag? Put it in a Tupperware? Yeah, you're going to change. Containers? The cardboard container.

No. You eat it or throw it the fuck out. It's wrong with you, people. What is wrong with you? So I always had it on hand. Wow. Jesus, Chris, it's like you were going into like the shining winter and you needed to have it. If you like tasting a tinny soup, this is it.

I even tried to doctor it up to taste better. Added a tad of sugar to lighten the acidity and tin taste didn't help. I think what truly made the true Wendy's chili was when you bought it at the drive-thru. It was fresh. And also it was those chunks of grilled burger that was in it that was in it that made it so delicious. And this was a thinner consistency. Canned is thicker. Not so much broth won't be purchasing again.

Rather have fresh. Will Google for sure for a copycat version, I guess of Wendy's Chili? It doesn't exist. Wow. I discontinue this item if I were Wendy's. Wendy's isn't doing it. I assure you. They've licensed it.

They've got to because it's not their shit. And I think that she really meant this is not chili. This is tin soup. She really meant that. Tinned soup. Yeah. I think you're right, actually. Here's one star.

Tastes great. Wow. That's a whole review. One star. Tastes great. Holy. Wow. No.

And that's the other thing. It's so expensive in comparison to other children. chilies that are in cans, it's not worth the money. Why would you do it to yourself? I don't understand it for five bucks. What the fuck? One star should not have Wendy's name on it. If you can get past the do food smell, I mean, do-do is what they're going for?

Do-do smell? Do-food smell. When you open it, it looks like Wendy's chili, but definitely doesn't taste like it. It should absolutely not have Wendy's name on it. You're besmirching the good name of Wendy at this point. Okay. I was hopeful one star from Bruce. I love Wendy's Chili, but this isn't it?

Wendy's chili is only available at Wendy's. It's okay for canned chili, nothing special, way too much sodium to be considered healthy. That's what it is. It's so high. God, fuck. We went over that. I think Dave started making the chili because he had leftover hamburger, and he just started making chili to utilize that hamburger that was left over.

Absolutely. And then it became popular. He's like, well, now I can't ever not fucking sell this. They want to eat my garbage. I guess I'll sell it to him. Yeah, this is yesterday's cheeseburgers and they're eating it. So fuck it. Fuck it.

Yeah, for money. This is going to get nothing for it. Nanette, one star. Disgusting. Uh-huh. The chili tasted like it was overloaded in spices. No. I can't imagine it.

What white fucking... What is your palate? Overloaded with spices? It's salt, lady. Wow. It made me extremely ill. I vomited hard and had diarrhea. Uh-huh.

I don't know if the chili was bad or just too spicy for me. There's no fucking spice in it. There's no nothing. There's no cayenne pepper. There's no pabuasas. There are little pieces of bell pepper. And there might be five, six of them per can. And that they're not hot bell peppers.

They're not hot peppers. I don't even think there's black pepper in it when we went over it. I didn't remember black pepper even on the fucking thing. It's just salt, man. Jesus Christ. This is a poor judgment in purchasing one star from Tigger. I want to send a warning about this Wendy's canned chili. It made me and my brother very sick.

It made him vomit and triggered my IBS. You have IBS and you tried to eat canned chili. Wow, that's kind of on you, sir. I had pain so bad that I fainted. I had a racing heart, body sweats and severe. pain. I think you need to go to the hospital. Jesus Christ. I think you got salt poisoned too.

Yeah, that might be it. Holy fuck, man. That is not good. That's the greatest. That is amazing. That is amazing. And finally, we'll do the last couple quick here. Emily One Star, horrible.

It was delivered to apartment 24, not apartment 21. Oh, so you entered somebody else. Yeah, you conflicted this on someone else. It was placed in front of another door and the wrong apartment. Okay, so they're mad that they didn't even get it. That's Wendy's fault.

Yeah, that's the fault of a can of chili. Because the chili knows where to go. It's got a little homing device in it. They know who's paid. One star from Rosario. I did not like the delivery person coming into my locked patio. It should have been delivered to my front door. One star chili for that.

That was the chili. Did you get sick? What the fuck? Okay. Now let's try to relax. I feel like between the shower situation and the parking and this fucking chili, our stomach's hurting. Throbbing. We need to relax.

Let's go get a massage. What do you say? Let's do it. We're going to the pure foot spa and massage. Pure foot. Oh, is this one of those ones that like they focus on the foot because. I suppose. That's a thing.

I don't know if that's shiaz. I don't know what the fucking thing is. but you have nerve endings in your feet that... Yeah. I know people that have gotten this done, James, and they came. I swear to God. They need to get out more. They need to fuck more of it.

They need to fuck more. If you touch their feet and they cover it, they're not doing it right. So, yeah, this place, people love this shit. This is in Torrance, California and the Delamo Fashion Center, which, by the way, is the mall that Fast Times at Ridgemont High was filmed at. The Delamo? Yeah. So if you've seen that movie, this is the mall, they were...

hanging out in there. Okay. Here is Stanford. Stanford, five stars. With the type of work most of us do, we're always on our feet. Last to bed, first to rise. Who are you talking to? What is going on? What are you talking about? For me, knowing that there's a place like pure foot spa available for me, I'll set aside one hour for myself and one here. Okay? The hot rocks were just perfect. My masseuse was strong and gentle. I'm a big baby. Feet ticklish, not good with pain, but it didn't matter. Her intuitive touch means I'll be back again and again. My body is due again. I'll be back. He came. He came hard. All over. Ron, five stars. Had a foot massage today. It was wonderful. Fell asleep twice. I have neuropathy in my feet, so I will be going as often as I can.

Okay. Katie, three stars. I'm not one to run. really leave a bad review for a small business, but I really wasn't happy with my experience. The therapists talked to each other through the whole massage, and there was someone, this is my favorite, there was someone outside the whole time trying to bring people in by yelling, massage, all capitals. And you know what the accent was screaming massage, too, which is hilarious. That makes it ten times is funny for some reason. You're relaxing.

Massage. Oh, Jesus Christ. Understand that a fellow therapist, as a fellow therapist, that you need to bring in business, but seriously, three stars because they did get the knots out of my neck and shoulders. And that's why I was there. Well, then shut the fuck up about the massage program. Massage shouldn't bother you that much. Yeah.

But it was not a relaxing experience. I won't be back, but I do wish them the best of luck. Me too. How dare you try to fucking get business in a mall that's dying, I'm sure. Danette, two stars, sulking and rude. Okay, massage was okay, but unkind attitude. After Kevin was paid, he ignored my goodbye. His name probably isn't Kevin either, so he lied to you about that, I'm sure, too.

That's just easier for you to figure out. Won't recommend because customer service not good. What else do you want? They just touched you for an hour. You want them to fucking what now, kiss your ass to? Really walk me to my car. I need Kevin to take me out and make me feel good. Live two stars.

There were four masseuse when I went in there. Massuse is like a moose. It's the singular is the plural also, I think. That's a sigh. There were four masseuse. That's a gathering. When I went with my friend. Is it not Macsis?

I think it's Macs. Yeah, it should be Macs. That's where they fucked up. Yeah. We had both, we both had for a 60 minute foot massage. The guy worked on my legs, hurt my legs, then went hard when I literally said to go easy. I'm not sure what kind of massage they were doing as they were just rubbing the calves and using their nails. He has sharp nails that's piercing through the gloves.

My friend complained the same thing that her legs hurt and bruised. Stay away. For $60 plus tip, it's not worth the discomfort. Uh-huh. They bruised her. They bruised her. S gives two stars. I didn't like their strategy for upselling.

Oh. They let you first lay down, and while they already have their hands around your neck trying to convince you that you need additional massages, furthermore, the massage itself was painful and everything else than relaxing. Okay. Here is COA one star. So they didn't like that they put their hands around her neck to sell her more shit? Yeah, start squeezing you, and they're like, you want to spend a little more money here or what?

You want the hot rocks? You want a paraffin wax? Yes, yes, I do. All of it. One star, disappointing experience won't be returning. I came here hoping for a good shoulder massage, but was extremely disappointed. There were two male masseuses and neither had the strength or technique to relieve the tension in my shoulders. I repeatedly asked for a stronger person.

but even after switching to a second person, it didn't improve. He's like, why do they make you so small? Bigger. You need bigger hands. Get an aluminum bat. Bigger people. Yeah, what an asshole. After 10 minutes of trying to give them a chance, I stood up and said, I'd just pay for the time spent.

They charged me $20, which I was fine with. But then one of the masseuses got visibly upset, cursed at me in Chinese, not realizing I understood. Oh! It's an Asian person if you'd see the... The picture, too. So, yeah. Not knowing I understood. Now it's on, baby.

I like this. And rudely asked no tips? Of course not. There was nothing worth tipping for. For the price they charge, I expect professional and skilled service. This place doesn't even come close to the quality of my usual spot, or I simply sit on a low stool and get a strong effective massage without all the fluff. Okay.

Update, I return to give them a $20 tip. He feel bad. He went to the ATM because he felt bad, I guess. Holy shit. All right. Let's do one more, and then we will call this here. One more. Syed, one star.

Avoid this place at all costs. Like the plague. Like the plague. You know that gut feeling you get right after agreeing to something? That sinking sense you've made a mistake. That's exactly how I felt here. The last two times that I purchased Wendy's Chili in a game. Yeah. Jimmy looked at it as he stood outside of his pantry going, I made a grave mistake here, folks.

I'm doing this again? Again, I know I'm going to get sick. Well, roll the dice. Dump it in a pot. There we go. I walked in for a standard 60-minute massage advertised as $70. Okay. Since I had an hour to kill, I figured, why not?

The first red flag, they insisted I pay up front. Fine. But immediately after paying, they began aggressively upselling a forehand massage, which would cut my session in half to just 30 minutes. I declined wanting the full hour I paid for. Apparently, they didn't like that. Okay, what did they do to you? Start beating you with implements? What happened?

With the aluminum bats? Yeah, just working you over. From that moment on, the atmosphere became tense. The staff, three of them, began speaking loudly over my head and, Mandarin with sharp tones and what felt like deliberate disregard. Everything in Mandarin sounds like that, first of all. They could have been saying, my son's birthday party was wonderful. The clown was hilarious.

And that's what you're fucking hearing. It's just, it's so sharp. It's a sharp language. It's a wild language. It's like German. You hear something. You're like, Jesus, okay, fine. They're like, I was telling you my teddy bear is fluffy.

It's probably right on bar with that shit. It really is. I'm telling you. Okay. It was extremely uncomfortable. The massage itself was okay. Not amazing. Not terrible.

I still tipped $12 on the 70, only to be met with, why so little? No good. Massage. Oh, God. That's amazing. Why so little? No good. No good.

That comment really rubbed me the wrong way. Did it? It's a massage place. They said they called james. Yeah, right. Yeah. And they called you a cheap fuck. A cheap fuck.

Every fiber is that, is that 20%? No. Yes, it is exactly. No, it's not $60. It would be 20%, $12. Yeah. So it's, you know, a little less than that. Every fiber of me wanted to take that tip back.

They would have murdered you for that tip. You don't want. You're not taking money out of the hands of foreigners who own business. They will, I know, because I've had relatives that are foreign. that own their own business. They will kill you for that $12. Trust me. Yeah, they're telling you that you didn't do enough. And if you do even less, oh, boy.

You've been warned already. Oh, yeah. This is a, people struggled to get here and open this place. They're taking it. I've been to many massage places, both boutique and big name spas. And I truly enjoy the experience. But this place, it felt like a quick cash, high pressure operation with no regard for customer service or long-term relationships.

It's at the mall. So, yeah. Just pure profit-driven transactional energy. Do yourself a favor. Skip this spot. They have rent to pay. What do you want from these people? They got to pay fucking rent.

It's a mall rent, which is probably more expensive than regular fucking rent, too. It's not good. It's not good. And I'm sure that business in a mall might not be great. I don't know. Yeah. Especially if I'm in a mall, I'm never like, let me stop. for an hour real quick to get them a son.

I've been there to buy something and fucking leave. Yeah, I've seen barbers in malls. Yeah, oh, fuck yeah. There's a bunch of different things that they're trying in the mall by my house. They have a piercing shop in there. Oh, yeah, for sure. Not just ears. Oh, they'll pierce your dick in there.

They'll pierce anything in there. Oh, my God. It's crazy. They're right next to a T-Mobile. You can get a new fucking iPhone and your lip pierced. Right next to a T-Mobile. It's crazy. Holy shit, that is crazy.

Well, this episode's been fucking crazy. Be careful of your what-nots out there, everybody. I want a can of all this awful. I bet $5 that Jimmy eats a can of Wendy's chili in the next 48 hours. Because you can't help himself. I think I've learned my lesson, and I think from now on, If I'm craving it, I'll just go to Wendy. All right, fine.

It doesn't feel good coming up. It's so thick, James. You know when you throw up, everything like usually comes out fast and it's like, it's liquid. There's stomach acid mixed in there. This like oozes out because it's so thick. Oh, like a soft serve? Yeah. Like a chili sauce serve it turns you into?

You cough? No. I don't want. it. I just don't want it. It's so crazy. Holy shit. Everybody, head over to shut up and give me murder.com. Get your tickets for the live shows.

Come out and see us. God damn it, are they going to be funny? Yeah. They're so good. I can't wait to do this. So thank you for doing that. It's March 21st in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. Get your tickets now.

Keep coming back and seeing us. Shut up and Give Me Murder.com is where you get tickets and everything else about us or our shows or any other bullshit you want to hang out and do and whatever. Either way, keep coming. back next week. We will see you then. See you then. Bye.