Your Stupid Opinions - Pizza Man Murder, Suds & Spanish Music, Too Lazy To Be Rude

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for an apartment complex, where the things don't seem to get fixed, it rains in living rooms, people shoot up on the stairs, raccoons have moved in, to take care of the rats, and pizza delivery people are murdered in cold blood. A car wash, where the music blares, and your car may look the same as before you washed it. A Walmart store, where people are requesting their very own "personal shopper" & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey, thank you so much for joining us today for more people's opinions about things we don't want to do from people we don't care about. It's wonderful. It's the best show you could possibly have. My name is James Petro Gallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. Thank you so much for joining us.

Let's get right into this. Before we do, though, definitely head over to shut up and give me murder.com. Get your tickets March 21st, stand up live in Phoenix. There's still a few tickets left for the Your Stupid Opinions Live show. Yeah. We are absolutely excited. You have no idea because when we do Small Town Murder, we'll do reviews. And that's kind of how the idea for the show started was those reviews were really funny.

And then when we do live shows, we'll do like a restaurant or a motel in the area. And that would be it killed harder than anything else. It's so funny because there's pictures of everything. It's just hilarious. We're like, God damn it. If that show could just be that for an hour and a half, it'd be the most fun you could possibly have. And so that's why we're doing this. So come to the live show and see us.

Shut up and Give Me Murder.com. That said, let's dive in back into the capital place apartments in Indianapolis next to the Wheels of Wonder or the Fun Factory or whatever the place. It changed. It used to be the Fun Factory. now it's wheels of one way around. So this is the Capitol Place apartments, and when we left off, a man had a full rat in his living room. In the glue trap.

In the glue trap. Saved in there. Oh, not saved. It was definitely dead, but it was preserved. The corpse was preserved for us there. So let's start out here with Lily with one star. These reviews, dude, this place sounds horrible. Scary.

Yeah. Okay, let's do this here. One Star, there we go, lived here for almost a year. Absolutely horrible. Yeah. Death year. Oh, shit. No laundry facilities.

Said that it was being worked on when we got here. No signs of it. So just no laundry. Not even just they said they were building something. They're not. A year. No signs of breaking ground. There's just no washing machines on the premises, not even a bad.

That sucks. That sucks. You share a balcony with your neighbors. Remember you were asking me about patios last time here. Their kids peek through our windows and constantly try opening our doors. What the fuck? Get out. That's not the complex.

That's your neighbor. That's your shitty neighbors because you're in a shitty complex with shitty people that don't watch their kids. If my kid was trying to open people's doors, they'd be like, what are you doing? They'd never do that again. That's breaking and entering. That is embarrassing. Completely, oh, office communication is extremely. extremely poor. Complex behind us is shot up every other week.

Shot up. There's gun violence. There's gunplay involved here. Oh my God. Trash everywhere. Okay. Now there's lots. Also garbage on the ground. Response from the owner, hi Lily. We're sorry to hear your experience is not five star. We've made amazing progress and community improvements and still have many more planned. Yeah. How about? The lack of shooting rats, trash, and maybe a washing machine once in a while. Yeah. Get a May tag. Wow. We hope to do our very best to turn your experience around.

Have a wonderful day. In other words, get fucked. We don't care. We don't care. We're fixing it. Sager, S-A-R. Okay. One star.

Don't come here to live because this place is not quiet. Come here to die. Don't come here to live. Yeah. Come here for other reasons, not to live. there are a lot of drunks here, and at night there are always people who drink and carry firearms. That's a lovely combination. Yeah.

I like to see a drink in one hand and a gun in the other. That's when you know you're getting... Tombstone didn't even allow that. No, no. That's how you know you're getting top-notch judgment there, obviously. That's why I think Arizona's hilarious. There's like 40 bars per three people, and everyone has machine guns. There's guns every...

It's insane. You're like, even Tombstone knew better, and that was... Doc Holiday. Let's see here. This place is not for living. It's for dying. You can only get busy living or get busy dying. Yeah, that's the answer.

He said, I live there only by contract. It makes it sound like someone had a contract to force him to live there. Yeah. But thank God I have one more month left. So think carefully. This place doesn't have a system. And someone tells you something like yesterday in front of my house. a person using a firearm and an office person doing nothing.

Someone's just bucking shots off from the complex. Office person waves. Hey, Bob. How you doing? Hey, nice to see you there, Johnny. Morning. Best time of the day to go fuck yourself. Okay.

Katie, one star. Yeah. You will regret moving here. Okay. This sounds ominous. I like this right away. It's the worst place I have lived. Not a good place to move to if you have young children.

Mouse infested. They live in walls and stuffing falls out of the vents. Oh, no. Stuffing. Stuffing. Stuffing. Insulation, I think. Like stove top?

Yeah. That's exactly what's coming out of her vokkin, out of her vents. Thanksgiving, every day at my house. The lock on the door isn't the best and looks like someone tried to open it. More than likely at chock. Most likely the police. Or the cops. The lighting doesn't work outside or inside by the front door.

Hot water goes out a lot. I guess I mean there's no hot water. The air has gone out. Air conditioning is breaking. The appliances are old and fridge is broken too, but they won't replace it due to, quote, not having the money for it. I don't care. We can't afford to fix your shit and they hang up on her. That's crazy.

I don't care. Get one. That's great. Then there's a skip in another paragraph. I'm editing to add that they have faulty wiring too. There we go. Let's add more to the mix. Also, there is exposed wiring outside by the air conditioner fan,

and they hooked inside wiring outside. That's not good. Oh, boy. It's taped with exposed wire. It was not correctly connected. Oh, this place is going to burn to the ground. They paint over everything, too, and our fire alarm was painted over.

That's not, you can't do that. That's the, it's the way. one thing that shouldn't be painted over. It had been ripped off the wall in order to change the dying batteries. We are sadly stuck here in a bad living environment. Don't feel like we matter as we brought our concerns up, but nothing comes of it. They told you we have, do we don't have the money? You don't matter. Your shit out of luck, lady. We have no electricity now, and our food is going bad. Can't contact. Your fridge didn't work anyway. I guess not. Now the whole electricity is gone. Can't contact offices. They have their number.

out of service. Okay. If you call and it's do, do, do, do. Yeah, they don't even have the phone. You just leave and say, no, I'm not, you don't have a real apartment complex. You don't have a phone. Sorry. This isn't, this should be condemned.

Yeah. And no emergency number is available. So, great. Ram, one star. This place has gone downhill since what? The Eisenhower administration? This, this doesn't come all at once. This is a long time coming a place like this.

It's been going down a long, long time. Jesus Christ. Since Watergate, the place hasn't quite been the same. Since Antonio is not there no more. Antonio held it all together, boy. He was the glue. Just bailing wire and fucking Elmer's glue and some duct tape. He held it all together.

Oh, boy. They have empty apartments with homeless stay-in. Oh? With homeless stay-in. So Swatters is what they're getting at. you go to the office and reported and they don't do nothing about it. Issues at my apartment never been fixed. Never been fixed, Jimmy.

I ask one of the maintenance guys and he said the issue was never reported. They have incompetent people working in that office. They don't care about what goes on. Grass building and parking not cut when you complain the office and maintenance staff tells you, if you don't like it, do it yourself. Well, get a mower, motherfucker. I don't know. There's a Tiff mower out there and get to pushing, fucker.

Kick cracking. I don't see how corporate don't see the issues when they drive through the apartments. It looks horrible. The new manager is always on her cell phone and not at the office. I've been there several times after work, 3 p.m. And she has never gone for the day. Do not move here, all caps. Jesus, this place is horrible.

Sounds bad. No wonder why these kids are shitty when they go to the roller skating place. They're just escaping their office. whole environment. This is a vacation from their fucking apartment. Wow. Yeah. They rove like a pack of wolves probably from this place.

Yeah. And they're all armed. Yeah, apparently. And drunk. Mackie, one star. I knew when I read the reviews of this place that I shouldn't have moved here. But I thought,

oh, that's probably just some old jaded tenants who didn't pay their rent on time. There's pictures of rats. How is that? What does that have to do with anything? Well, those show up when you don't pay. Yeah, That's when they release them through the vents to put the stuffing out.

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. All right. Yeah, five notes and nope. This place is all caps disgusting. Every other neighbor has bedbugs and is throwing their stuff out. Maintenance? What maintenance?

I don't think they even have anyone working. Nothing ever gets done. I cannot break my lease fast enough. Don't move here. Oh, boy. This is, come on. Bed bugs too? Bed bugs is a whole other issue, man. That's, that's beyond.

That's beyond mice and, and appliances and, you know, grass being a little long. That's so bad. That's horrifying, man. Anthony, one star. This place, I would not recommend this place to anyone. This place? What, this place? Is either that?

It's either what, this place, I wouldn't recognize. Or it's, that sounds like a very, like, old Italian gangster guy. This place? I would now recommend this place to anyone. Let me tell you why. Ever at all. That's what they say. It's true.

It is a true rodent, and then in parentheses, mice slash raccoons. Raccoons too. That's not even a rodent anymore. Raccoons are huge. That's not a rodent. This is a zoo. You can't put a raccoon trap in your house. They're too big.

They'll take it apart. Yeah, they'll unwire it and rewire it. They'll re-engineer it to catch you. Yeah. It's a true rodent, mice, raccoons, and bugs of every kind, heaven. The maintenance people won't fix anything unless you speak some sort of Spanish. Oh, God. Oh, that's what it is.

Yeah, I'm sure. Some sort of Spanish. Some sort of Spanish. One of the derivative languages of Spanish. We don't know. Even Portuguese would help. They speak it down in South America. Even that's fine.

But, you know, it's not exactly Spanish, but. Some sort of Spanish. sort of Spanish. Also, some buildings even have poisonous plants growing up to and past the gutters. I think that's the least of your worries. You got bigger fish to fry than plants. There are raccoons. There's raccoons that hide in those plants. Worry about those. It's ran by slumlords. They have plenty of money for evicting people. Well, an eviction notice is cheap. That's paper, babe. Yeah. But no money for your share of the water bill. I wouldn't even sleep there if I was homeless. I'd rather

sleep under a bridge. Wow. Not preferable to beneath the overpass is a damning, damning fucking concern here. Randy, one star. This place is run by a bunch of slum lords. Right. Yeah, we've heard.

I've stayed here for five years and was forced to hire private contractors for maintenance because management here refused to help. You're doing his own... No. No, no, and no. Leave. That old Saturday Night Live bit called Bad Decision James.

He's like, so ripped up the carpet, the floorboards, put the drywall, everything. And they're like, you're renting, right? And he's like, yeah. Yeah. It's like on that documentary of the Dana Carvey show with the sketches where they like drive up, order a bunch of food, pay for it, and then drive away and think that's a prank on the guy. They think that that's funny. Yeah, that's what this is. We're going to get him so good.

Yeah. Oh, man, we got them real good. private conscience. Save that money. Give that money to a lawyer. Yeah. Help you get out of your lease and move the fuck out of the shit hole. What are you doing? Or just give them that money and walk. And just go away. Yeah. I'm done here. We are currently being evicted because I told management there's been mold growing here and demanded something to be done to fix this and they proceeded to give a 30-day eviction notice. Well, there you go. That's how you break your lease. Yeah, you've done it. You tell them there's mold and

then they'll let you go. Shit, I'd be telling them that every day. They only care about their own people here and refuse to help anyone else. I hope this place burns to the ground and these people lose all of their ill-gotten money. Burns to the ground. You can feel the vitriol. They're so mad. There's some, because it's one thing if you go to McDonald's and it's shit.

You'll leave a bad review. That guy was a dick, whatever. But this is all day, every day. And it's your safe space. Yes, that's what I mean. It's where you've purchased a place that's your home. And when it's fucked. And you're spending all your time there and it's just frustrating.

I will be filing a small claim for the inhabitable living conditions and any other damage that's been done to my family and myself. Well, good luck with that. Lucrisha, one star. This place is infested with mice. I've heard. The health department has been called. several times, but nothing has been done.

Well, that's good. At least the mice ran the rats off, apparently, so that's good. It's a plus. Actually, this review is older, so I think the rats ran these. Came in. These were the first wave, these mice, and they weren't sturdy enough for the rat. There's been two waves since. There's raccoons, for Christ's sake.

Well, the raccoons are going to get the rats out. That's how it works. Pretty soon there's going to be elephants walking around this joint. I guarantee it. I swear to God. And then the mice will come back and take over. Next review. Giraffes ate my point.

How do you plant on the second floor? Giraffes won't stop eating the poisonous plants that the raccoons are hiding behind. It's really bad for them. The grass is so, oh, the health department's been called several times, but nothing's been done. The grass is so high because no one has cut the grass this whole year. It looks like you're entering, you're entering a forest. Wonderful. That's good for the mice, too.

They like it in there. Yeah, they get real low in there. If you see grass moving, that's a raccoon. Watch out. Okay, there was a trail of sewage spewing out from the sewer that smelled like death. Not smelled like sewage. It smelled like poop.

It's worse than death. And it took them four months to correct that issue. Wow, spewing sewage. There is mold in the walls and nothing has been done about that either. The air conditioning does not work. The paint is on the carpet. Okay, I apparently just didn't tape it off. Just paint.

Just brush it. Fuck it. Close enough. The stove wasn't even working and got water and our water didn't work for three weeks. I'm not a tenant, but my sister moved here two months ago, and I pray that the Indiana Health Department steps in to help the tenants. In this condition, this entire place needs to be shut down. Well, that was from seven years ago.

It hasn't happened. No. It's getting worse. It's gotten worse. Now we have bigger animals. That's the only thing that's improved. Tori, one star. Rent is cheap, but you'll quickly see why.

Yeah. Horrible roach infestation. Well, they need, the mice need food. Right. That's what are they going to eat, that they never send anyone out for. We have maybe three light sockets in the whole apartment that work. Jesus. Just plug it in. Nope, that one. No, not that one. This one stopped this month. Wow. Yeah. We only, wow, we're a little short of electricity this month. The paint on the ceilings is cracked and slowly falling off due to whoever lives above us, always stomping around. The paint should be able to hold that.

It should handle. It should handle. Yeah, I would think. When we moved in, the water heater didn't work, and the professional that came out said it was likely 20 plus years old, and it took five days for management to approve a new water heater because the professional said he refused to work on the one that was there, as they had wired and rewired it so many times. It was unsafe. Right. Yeah, perfect. I get to live here.

It needs a new one. doing this. You're just... Wow. Jesus. You'll end up having to fix and replace things yourself because that's their plan. Just if the people are miserable enough, they'll fix it themselves after enough time. As long as we keep them that miserable, they'll do it.

Frustrate them over and over again. Yeah. Just keep them, you really keep them in a state of constant frustration because you can never get maintenance to actually come out. The pool has been closed every year for the last three years. I wouldn't even... Why would you? There's no chemicals in that.

You can't keep... They can't keep fucking paint on ceiling. No. Never mind a pool operational. That's complicated. There's pH balances and shit to worry about. And the, quote, laundry room is a joke and half of them don't run. Well, that's nice.

They got a laundry room anyway. It finally... Well, half don't run. Half don't run, but they got a room with washing machines in it. If you absolutely need a place to stay and have no other choice, at least do a month to monthly so you can leave ASAP. Yeah, this sounds awful. Nicole, one star.

Maintenance is very unreliable. Property manager and leasing agents are very unprofessional and do not care about the tenants. Lived here for a year simply because rent is cheap and no issues with bugs or anything. Well, that's good. You're in the minority there. With the weather dropping, we have had multiple drug addicts sleeping in our hallways and the office has done nothing about it. Oh, that's here. Corridors, yeah.

Wow. Another tenant in my building had to get his dog, at least, had to get his dog on one last week because they were sitting at the bottom of our steps shooting dope. Hold on. One of my neighbors sent their dog. Sicked a dog after a junkie. Listen. I get it.

But is that the answer? Set the dog. Get them, boy. I mean, do we have no humanity left anymore? We're just, like, send dogs to bite people. What are you? A Mississippi sheriff in the 50s? What the fuck is happening right now?

Good Lord. Set the dogs on. Set the dog on him. And they're saying that, like, he had to do that. Yeah, he had to get his dog. His head's retired, Jane. That's what it was. Had to.

Didn't, it wasn't this is what happened. He had to do. it. And at the bottom of our steps, shooting up dope has an exclamation point. Like, exclamation, like, listen. Clearly, they were shooting dope. So I had a dog mull him. It's normal, right?

Great. Now your dog has hepatitis C also, so that was probably pretty stupid of you. What would be better than having a junkie shooting up at the bottom of our steps? To have his blood sprayed all over everything. That would be much better. I mean, just clean his blood off my dog. Yeah, that's horrible. Jesus Christ.

This is wild, man. This place is fucking wild. No wonder why people are armed. They come up with the most shocking solutions to their problem. I'm going to remodel my apartment because they can't fix it. I'm going to set the dog on trespassers. This is, this goes to the old adage that people can get used to Anything.

Anything. They get used to prison. They get used to the shittiest environment. You will get used to it. Even here, you'll just, well, I guess I sick the dogs on junkies now. By the way, I've taken this raccoon in. It was astray, but now it's fun. Was it sick balls?

Is that what they said from a chopper. Chopper, yeah, sick balls, chopper. Go ahead. This is wild, man. Two families in this building have young children five and under, and obviously the property He doesn't care if they get hurt, step on a needle, or even consume drugs. Or get the dog set on them. Well, if the four-year-old's over there with a needle, he's getting a dog set on him, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Would not recommend moving here unless you're like me and a single mother with no other options. Can't wait to get out of this hellhole of a property. Oh, my God. This place is horrible. Okay, Tammy one star. If I could give this place zero stars, I would. She nailed it. Tammy, our girl.

Now I feel bad for whatever happens to Tammy in this review. Yeah, it's going to be bad. I have lived here for two years now, and I can say it sucks. Yeah. All right. It sucks. They have changed management four times since I've been here, and the office staff are not helpful at all. Two years is resigned, so I don't want to have.

Yeah, you re-upped that thing. You re-upped, yeah. I live in the back where there's been a, water leak for the last year that runs in the street and it's under the building somewhere. I also had a water leak for a year that they finally got fixed in my bathroom tub and now I face the issue of my air on and my heat on at the same time. Lovely. What? What? There's going to be a stormfront building in there as these two as these two fronts collide. Good news. Your tub works. Bad news. Both are on at the same time.

Bad news, there's a tornado in the southwest corner of your apartment. That's the bad news. I'm sorry about that. We're building a hurricane in your guest venture. We're calling in scientists as we speak. If you shower too long and leave a haze, it will create the hurricane. It will create an hurricane. So I'd keep the showers to under, I'd say 12 minutes.

I really don't go, don't go too long. It's going to get dangerous in here. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, I'm dying. this is crazy. How did they cross the heat pump and the condenser when they fix their top? I just looked up to read the next sentence and I'm like, how did that happen? I just thought the same thing. How did that even happen? How's that possible? You press the button and everything comes on. The toaster's fucking goes down. He's got a, this house is on. Yeah, the house is on. Honey, I turn the house on. I turn off the thermostat and the heat comes on by itself. The furnace is,

is hardwired so it's 80 degrees outside and my heat comes on unless I turn off the breaker to it. Oh my God. I would love for an electrician to get a look at this place. Just like a real license. This place is like Tom Hanks and the money pit. Like they're going to come in. Wires are going to explode. A turkey is going to fly across the courtyard.

This is insane. How are they not in so much trouble? That's what I don't understand. I guess because no one has died in a fire yet, maybe. How dangerous is that? Pretty fucking dangerous, I would say. say, I've always paid my rent on time, but getting these people to do anything is like pulling teeth.

Very pissed off tenant, I guess, signed by. All right, KR, one star. I'm sorry, these are going so long, but I mean, honestly, honestly, what are we supposed to do? Not to do these. Bed bugs. The whole place is infested. I had to get rid of everything. I've seen so many couches and beds by the trash all around the complex.

I should have known. And that starts from like a hotel somewhere or like somebody's, stay somewhere shitty, and then you bring them home. They don't just show up. They're not termites, for Christ's sake. With like a little bindles over their shoulders. Hey, we're here. We heard this is a good place to stay.

Wow, they came through the walls from my neighbor's apartment. Oof. And they want you to pay for the treatment. $350. If you don't pay, they don't treat. $350 is awfully affordable. Yeah, I was going to say. That should be $3,000.

Yeah, and they should pay. I probably treat the whole complex, I would think. I didn't have a furnace or a sea unit, but was told I did when I moved in the first month. There's just no climate control whatsoever. There's no heat? There's no heat or AC. Yeah, which is hot as fuck in the summer and cold as shit in the winter. Holy fuck cold.

Terrible climate, Indianapolis. One of the worst there is. But I also had sewage back up into the whole apartment twice. Oh, my God. Sewage. Do not move here. Seriously, all caps. This is your way.

warning four exclamation points. Yeah, it needs to be redesigned. I'm going to say, don't move here. Reengineers the whole place. It's all wrong. Wow. Catherine, one star, don't move here, exclamation point. Besides the obvious deficiencies of this property, potholes, bug infestation, dirty apartments, that's just like.

That's the, forgone. I got the dog sick on me. I mean, you know, yeah. The leasing office doesn't pay the water and gas bill. The utility company is threatening to shut. down water and gas to all the apartments. Well, good. Then you just pack up and fucking leave.

Leaves broken. Part of that lease is heat and your gas and your water included. You're not providing it. See you around. That's it. So you might end up without running water and heat. These apartments are not worth the $1,000 they are now charging all tenants. That was three years ago.

A grand to live. So you're paying probably $1,400 by now. Yeah. And here is the Citizens Energy Group tenant notification that your water, wastewater, and gas utility services could be disconnected on or after this date unless immediate action is taken by the property owner. To pay the fucking bill that you all have been probably paying. Yep. They get that on their door. So then they go complain and say, I don't want my water shut off.

Howard, one star, Ms. Howard, sorry, one star. Outlets to plug in don't fit. They are loose. There's dot, dot, dot. So this sounds like it's going to be like a poem. Airport outlets to plug in. Don't fit. They are loose.

And then we're going to go from there. Other people's bathroom sewage ran into our apartment twice. Okay, well, it didn't rhyme, but it's poetic, sort of. If you move here after reading all these bad reviews, your fault. I'm getting out of here quick. Yeah, you're an idiot if you move in here. You are a dummy if you come here. You should definitely not come here.

Alita one star. Do not move here unless this is your last. option. And don't be fooled by the pictures or the model they show you. Everything in my apartment looks like it's been here since it was built in 1976. Oh, and the mice run the place. This gets better. They have a whole, this is like, I want like science people to be in here for this because there's some shit going on here that we don't know about. She's got a whole course going on. They have evolved to the point that none of them even attempt to eat the poison. They know what's poison now.

They're all they're flipping a coin going. Yeah. Just give me the fucking cheese. With a toothpick hanging out of their mouth. Flipping a nickel. Hey, listen, lady. Wow. Holy shit. Move here at your own risk. Gunshots every now and then seem a little project-ish.

But hey, it's only double the price of a mortgage. Stop on buy. Not. Not jokes. All right. Yeah. It's good. This suit is black. Not. Jesus Christ, this is amazing. Whoa, this is a long one, but it's a lot, man, of AC.

Gaping. Oh, my, okay, I got to read one star. Gaping what? What's gaping? Worst run apartments I've ever dealt with. Owners are slumlords and crooks and management is completely incapable and soulless. A Papa John's delivery man was murdered here right when we moved in. That's why I had to read this one.

Papa, they murdered Papa John. For a pizza. Yeah. What else could you kill the guy for? What do you think he's loaded with cash? I mean, people pay by card now. Yeah, there's no money in that man's pocket. No, probably his own, maybe.

That's murdered. The maintenance was little to none and shoddy at best. The electrical systems are suspect. There's asbestos in the ceilings. Perfect. Maybe that's what the stuffing was. Right. with duct work running through there.

The roof surfaces, shingles, have been replaced probably in the last few years, but the flashing work you can see is horrible. The building behind us has a family of raccoons living in the attic because of a gaping hole in the flashing on the roof. Well, now we know where the raccoons are hiding out. We were told in January 2014 the gutters were getting replaced, yet here it is almost September, and the building behind us is the only one that was done.

And it faces the road, so for show. Just to note about the gutters, we have a slow crater forming in the concrete eight inches outside of our front door. The apartment is well aware of the gutter issue and has even replaced our front door because of the two and a half inch gap on the bottom where the continuous waterfall out front rusted it away. Oh, my God. The waterfall rusted the bottom of the door off. Oh, my God. We stuffed towels underneath, considering the brutal winter we had this year, coupled with the $200 a month. gas bill.

But they're not even paying. Yeah, right. Get the towels under the door so we can stay warm. Holy shit. It took only six months to get that done. We were also rented this apartment without knowing the outside AC unit had been stolen in December a month before we signed our lease. We only realized it without any notice for management when we went to turn on our AC

in late May and it didn't exist. This was then added to our long list of maintenance issues. Backsliding door had one inch gap of a non-eastern. opening panel of the door. An inch. Panel of the door, an inch gap, perfect for mice and raccoons and everything else.

And it had no real locking mechanism. Oh, perfect. And it doesn't, okay. No AC unit. Pipes in our floor ruptured three times in January and February. They filled the holes in our downstairs floor in the concrete with gravel.

Wow. So the fucking base floor, rather than filling it back in with concrete, patching it, they filled it in with gravel. And they say the carpets are a little lumpy, in spots. There's fucking, what the fuck is

happening? This isn't like technically a dwelling even at this point. It's shoveled A-B in there and then roll the rug over it.

Wow. Water heater's gone out twice. We have two outlets that crackle and pop. One doesn't work at all anymore. The heater went out.

This is like Joe Pesci in the super, like his apartment he stated. Where he plugged the radio and it exploded. The CD threw out. Your outlet, crackling

and popping is called an arc and that's going to start a fire. That is not good to have in your walls. That is terrible. Holy shit. The heater went out once for three days in the dead of winter. It was fixed. The office staff is rude and unavailable and is flat out

lied to our faces a number of times. They invite the scum of the south side of Indianapolis to their doors with scams and empty promises. It's a scum party, everybody. Come on in. It is. The Greystone Properties in Indianapolis should be prosecuted for being slum

lords, but who am I and who are they really? What the fuck are you talking about now? You're being philosophical. You've been taking advantage of. But who am I and who are they really? Our brand new car was towed last night. You should have used that money to get a different apartment and got a used car. No.

You don't have a brand new fucking car if you live here. You shouldn't. You're an idiot. You don't get to complain then. You're too dumb. Right. You're dumb. You throw money away.

I mean, granted, they should have a livable condition, but you know what the place is like. Don't go out car shopping. Our brand new car was towed last night because we got home with it after business hours and didn't have a parking pass for it. And that's now costing me $175 to get out of impound and the apartments won't even return our calls. That's the day of they bought it. Wow. Wow, that's pretty crazy. All right, a couple more.

Adry, one star. This place is disgusting. Endless, you're okay with living with roach. I guess unless is what they're going for. But it says endless, you're okay with living with roaches. and then this place is for you. It's so five-o's nasty. I've tried so hard to get them out of here with my own money,

not the maintenance, because they do absolutely nothing to absolutely do not do anything but fix a sink or a AAC border of health would not accept. No punctuation there. Last couple. Oriel, one star. This apartment complex is filled with crime and impolite work staff, especially Antonio.

Right. I thought he was great. I thought he was holding it all together. They will take days to fix anything, even the sewage line. Also, 99% of the apartments have been infested with bedbugs. Okay, that sounds lovely. Trenton, one star. Water just got shut off because they can't pay the bill.

The entire office is empty during business hours. Can't get a hold of anyone. All the residents are out of water. Don't move here. It's all fucked. We don't have water. This is my favorite one. Metria, one star.

Keep in mind, one star. People should be happy. They have a home there. Are homeless people out there that wishes they at a home. Count your blessings instead of complaining about them. One star. Stop sicken the dogs on me. Yeah.

The difference is homeless people aren't paying to sleep under the bridge. That's the difference. These people are fucking paying rent on time. That's crazy. Bruce. one star. This property looks like something you'd see in a third world country. Absolutely deplorable. Shut it down.

Joe, one star. My friends and three other cars got shot at and the maintenance is horrible. Four cars shot at and I got no AC. And my AC's out. Wow, that was fucking amazing. And then finally last two here. Angel, one

star. I work near these apartments. People constantly get shot. etc. What's etc? A dog like a shot is pretty bad. And then finally this one really sums it all up here and maybe my favorite

review being that this person had the most right to leave a review probably. Donna, one star, very short and sweet. My son was murdered here. Oh, God. Was he a Papa John's delivery manner? Is it somebody else?

A doper that got the dog sick time. One star. Murdered. It's got to be the Papa John's driver, right? It sounds like more than one person may have been murdered here in the last 10 years or so. It definitely seems like. What a hellhole.

With all the gunplay going on here. Yeah. Okay. I feel dirty. How about you? I certainly don't want to go put on other people's skates. No. No, we're not doing that.

No, I feel so gross. So gross. I feel filthy. and our cars are just full of debris. We've been shot at and towed. Bullet holes. So let's clean them all up and take them to the USA auto wash. What do you say here?

What is that? That is in Riverside, California, where nothing's clean. We have to wash it every day. And then you drive out, by the time you turn on to the road, it's covered in filth again because it's Riverside. This place is at 8-11 West Blaine Street in Riverside, and it has 4.3 stars. on woodage. It's not bad. It's open 24 hours. So it's one of those you can do yourself. You don't need an assistance. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why it's 4.3. My car looks great when I do it. Exactly. But it also is the drive-through deal.

Eduardo, five stars. Drive-through car wash ranges between $5 and $13. Self-service car wash starts at $250. Love this place since no machine touches the paint of the car. Great for maintenance washing. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that's why you go there. And that's a great deal. The salt off in the winter. That's a great deal. Yeah. That's a great.

Car washing. This has become my God. Like in New York, it's in the winter because it's salt. You got to get the salt off your car. You have to wash your car. You got to. All fucking winter, even though it's freezing and, you know, it sucks anyway and you're going to get it all over again. Right.

And Arizona is just covered in dust in 12 minutes. It's so gross. But the racket of car washes in Arizona is wild. Oh, dude. Those ones where you like not to drive through. where you like pull in and get out and hang out out and they take those they take an hour and a half and they're like $68. You're like

what the fuck are you talking about? Fuck you. That's what the drive-throughs cost now. Oh wow. Arizona's gone insane. Here it's I mean I'm exaggerating but the drive-thrus are around I mean they have tears and I don't know what the fuck that means how does this thing

that has no people in it know that I just paid 30 rather than 20. No way. It's impossible. It's a racket. But the The hand wash now is $120. Holy gee, $120. $120 for somebody to take your car from you for two days and watch. They better leave, like, candy in your ashtray and shit, too, right?

They decorate it and put some little blinds and curtains on your windows. Well, and all your lights and all your settings are fucked up because they just leave it running while they wipe it. Your seat is all fucked up. Yeah, thanks. Everything's fucked up. You see everybody. try to adjust like they pull away like Jesus the seat the thing my steering wheel

I remember how to adjust these mirrors Christian Spanish music is playing I don't want this on fucking change that what is happening it's crazy okay so yeah it looks like they're five seven nine and thirteen dollars great deal yeah not bad that's the most that's the

pro ceramic wash is thirteen dollars it's not ceramic but all right whatever 13 box for a certain no way Shubham, five stars. I am new to the states, and the attendant help me understand the process. Well, they're probably new, too, so good. It's everybody's happy. You're in Riverside.

You're in Riverside. Thank you so much. It was really easy to use the self-service washing station, $5 for 10 minutes. They also have machine to break your bills. Yeah. Riverside, by the way, not a good place to start if you're an immigrant. That's not what I would recommend. I mean, it's certainly.

Certainly the start. I don't want people to go there and go, this is America? Jesus. No. It's the start of America. It's the start, all right. It's something. J.G.

One star. At the car wash. And still I ask for more. Still must I ask for more? Huh? What? This is the start to 11th. That's not the lyrics go.

I don't think so. Well, yeah. Human traits. Human, okay. Is this going to say he wants people to be like personable with him at the car wash too. I complain about how I must wash my car first, then vacuum. That sucks. I just washed the car.

Now my dusty floor mats is making the other guy mad. Making the other guy mad dog me. Okay. Someone's going to kick your ass for knocking a dust off your door mats, floor mats. Whose idea is it anyway to vacuum after the car gets washed? Bad choice. I like to do the dirty work first. Anyone else agree?

This place also lacks a drying feature, which I have seen at other selfie car washes. Non-fleak, whatever fleek means. This person is an asshole. Imagine talking to that person. They talk in riddles. Yeah. Well, he's doing internet lingo.

Yeah. While, I guess, ripping on internet lingo. Yeah. And annoying the piss. of me. Yeah. That's the other thing he's doing. Just annoying the shit out of me. It's a self-service, dog. You can go clean the mats before you do anything. Yeah, I don't understand. I don't understand this at all. I don't get the whole system here. Carlos, one star. I brought my cars here for years. It is overall a good car wash, but I am very disappointed that after my $5

charge, if you press the button for more time, I was charged $10 for four minutes. The sign will flash. You were charged, but charged $1, but my card reflects 10. No signs are posted for the charge. No attendance were helpful, and no website or contact is readily available. How many times you press it, Carlos? Well, the response from the owner, $15 pre-authorization charge on all card transactions. It will clear from your card one business day. That's all.

There it is. There it is. Okay. George, 222 update, he says. This wash has fallen hard and upkeep. This place is always dirty. The times were shorter, which is understandable for the times, but we were shortened way before the recession and probably would get worse here on out. Feels like the past few years there's been an owner change because I would see the same guy always cleaning and addressing issues in the morning.

Now there's never anyone there. This used to be the place I would go out of my way to wash my vehicles in despite having a yard to wash in. Now I won't be coming here anymore. Disappointing. Yeah. He had a five-year previous post, which was decent price slash time, wish the hoses were a bit longer and the bay's a bit bigger, but I drive a larger truck, so them's the brakes. Any sedan and sports cars have plenty of space. Now he doesn't like it.

Yeah. Now it's the worst. Yeah, not such a big fucking fan anymore here. Okay. No name one star. I used my debit card to pay and I got overcharged. They charged me $1.25, then charge me $2.25, then charge me again $2, then charge me $5, and then charge me $9 more after that.

I hope they are done. I'm not charging me. This is so many. I haven't been there in three weeks. I hope they're done. That nickel and diving me like crazy. Wow. So that's nine and five is 14 and 1825, 1950 total.

1950. Okay. Don't use your debit cards to just pay with cash. I only use 12 minutes of time there to wash my car, and it cost me $20, actually, 1950. 1950, yeah. Bastards. Bastards. Bastards.

Bastards. Like the inglorious ones. Like enlorious ones. Yeah. Bastards. Oh, God. Bastards. Stiglitz.

You sons of pictures. throat. The bear chew beat up my truck. Fucking mangled my truck. I was not happy. R and RR, R, R, R, one star. This is, by the way, this was going to have nine exclamation points after it in all caps. Bullshit.

Bullshit. Bastards. Bastards. Tried to use my card, kept saying try again. Never worked, so I used cash. By the time I get out of the card. wash my car, to wash my card was finally charged twice. And that's all caps with about 11 exclamation points.

I think it eventually, it took it and it just secured the money. It probably didn't charge him. If he put cash in, there's no way it charged him, right? I have no idea. Well, he's saying it charged those after saying that the transaction didn't work. Do not use, do not go here using your card at all. I'd say a good 20 L's. Too many.

Yeah. Too many to count. Response from the owner. Hi. Hello. Do apologize for any inconvenience. I would be glad to help you with getting a refund. Please Google me or please message me on Google or email at his email address.

Message me on. Oh, okay. My Gmail. Don't say find me on Google. Yeah. Google me. Google me. Google.

First of all, follow. Give a follow. And then I'll deal with your problem. Cool. Like a couple. Give me a couple of like. You know what I'm saying? Just let me know you there.

Find a video. Yeah, you like, fine when you like lots of stuff up there. Maybe we post it, you know, lazy fuck. Fucking try to be, you support me, I support you. You know what I mean? We go back on a refund or not. What the fuck? K, one star.

A lot of Latinos, they're playing loud music and drinking a lot of beer. Okay, yeah. They're washing their cars, man. That's a car wash. You go to a car wash, there's loud music playing all the time because these guys are just working on cars all day. The fuck do you care. And being obnoxious, felt very uncomfortable.

Felt very uncomfortable. They were being all Latino and shit. There was too much music and beer. I was so uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. There probably needs a bit more, a little bit more security there. It's getting out of hand the last two times.

It was like that I went toward dark time, like around 7 p.m. Okay. Well, you need to learn punctuation. I'm sorry. Don't attack anybody else's culture till you learn how to use a fucking period or a comma or words correctly or anything. It sounds like they probably had like a barbecue out there and making some tacos, had some music. They're cleaning a car and having a pretty good day. Yeah, it sounds great.

Threatened and scared. You should have asked for a taco and shut the fuck up. I bet it would have been delicious. Your racism is shining through, lady. Wow. Through logic. and also punctuation. Use punctuation.

Glass houses, lady. Karen, one star. Wednesday, May 30th, that 8.50 a.m. I had such a horrible experience with the car wash employee. I had, and I had, I guess, an express wash, as she says, and express wash, through the machine. And my car was just as dirty after the wash as it was before. I asked another person who can't use fucking punctuation, fucking Riverside, man.

Punctuation. This is brutal. It's a terrible place, man. It's so fucking bad. They don't even have commas there. I hate these people. The sun bakes it out of them. They don't know what to die.

Jesus Christ. I'll just read it through. I had express wash through the machine. My car was just as dirty after the wash as it was before. I asked the employee for help and he refused to help me. He was very disrespectful with my mother on being using, on being used. using this car wash for almost two years is the first time I used the machine and first time I have to deal with this person who was no help and very unprofessional.

Oh, my God. Well, you can't fucking write. Sounds like you brought. Oh, my God. Yeah. I brought a car fairly recently to one that was a self-wash, and it didn't, it didn't wash anything, but it's my fault because I drove it through really bad weather. And it was just muddy.

Some of the shit, you need a hand. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you got to get out of the fucking car, you lazy shit. You got to do it yourself. Sometimes you have to actually make a motion cleaning with your own arm. Or pay $120 for a team of people to do it. Next up, Rex, one star.

No fucking punctuation again. Dude, it's every goddamn review. These fucking people in Riverside is. I'm never reviewing anything from Riverside again. Or we're only reviewing things from Riverside. One of the two. I don't know which one. Every time I come here, nothing works every single time.

This time is the last straw. It's still $5 for me. And there is no phone number posted anyway. where on the building, honestly, I'm going to go to the city and have them shut it down because this is ridiculous. I'm going to go nuts. Good luck with that asshole. Vanessa, one star. I don't know.

I don't know what soap is used, but it didn't remove anything. My car looked the same after I washed it. Oh. Again, we don't know how gross it was. Pay the, get the fucking ceramic watch. Yeah, no shit. Sherlin one star. The car wash wasn't so great,

needed more bubbles. They also scratch my, they also scratch my will on my bends. Oh, the bends! Your bends got scratched. Oh, God. Well, I'm so sorry.

Your life must be ruined now. You drove that car through a self-car wash. Yeah. And you expected it to come out the other side. Perfect. That's insane. Yeah. I have a black car.

I wash. it myself. Yeah. I don't drive it through the machine. I'll go to the car wash places, but use, I do it by hand. Yeah. I don't fucking, yeah. I'm not, I'm not running it through a machine. No. Not working, not happening, because it's black and any scratches will show up and I like it. Yeah, I drive all white vehicles because

I'm in the fucking desert. Yeah. But they, I still hand wash those. I'm not, I'm not, I'll, I got, I bought a fucking pressure washer. And I'll, I'll wash it on my own. I don't need somebody scratching it. Shantae, one star.

I live in the apartments right by it. People blast their music all hours of the morning and at night. Yeah. Well, they wash their car. It's open 24-7, so they blast it and, yeah, especially to hear it over the spray. There's no song about working in a fancy restaurant. No. Exactly.

That's what you do at the car wash is listen to music. Listen to music and do all sorts of shit. And then finally, Tammy, one star. Dead but pricey. I only used it once. I think it's okay, though. What? Okay.

That's great. Dead but pricey. Dead but pricey. Okay, so it's not crowded. That's nice. Okay. Next up here, we are going to head, we got to pick a few things up. And we're on a budget, of course.

So we're going to go to the Walmart Super Center. Here it is. 4313 Corona Road in Flint, Michigan. Oh, God. Yeah. It has 3.8 stars out of 6,700 reviews. That's a shitload of reviews. It's pretty high for that.

That's pretty high. Let's find out what people think here. Five stars from Jamie. Awesome and helpful shopping. Everyone was doing their best to help out with whatever they could. And that means quite a lot coming from being a once businessman myself. and knowing what to expect from your staff. Walmart.

Everybody's doing their best. Everyone's doing their best. Well, not everyone, apparently. According to Amy with one star, this location is disgusting in how they treat the people of Flint. Oh. Not even just the Walmart shoppers for all the people of Flint. All of them.

It's disgusting. They have cameras everywhere. Well, it's a store. It's called a store in the 21st century. Yeah. This review is like recent. from like this year. That's a person that would be like, how are they not catching them?

Why don't they have cameras? Yes. Most people's houses you go to have cameras all over now, everywhere. They have blockages on shelves making it impossible to get a product, I guess, like locking things. And now security guards have been added in addition to the greeters. Why don't you hire real people back and assign each person, a customer, a personal shopper? What? Wait a second.

about. Back up. What is she just, what are you at? The Ermees store in fucking Beverly Hills? What are you talking about? This is a fucking Walmart in Flint, Michigan. You don't get a personal shopper.

What the fuck are you talking about? They own a fucking football team. They have profits to deal with. They don't have time for at Walmart. You need a person. And she said hire real people back like all the people they had. They had enough people for personal shoppers. Ever seen a Walmart on a Saturday?

There's thousands of people there. Personal shoppers? Assign each customer. Wow. It won't cost a lot. Yes, it will. It will cost so much. It will cost everything.

Millions. You will make Walmart not a profitable business anymore. Right now they're print money. The Denver Broncos will be on sale. Yeah. I promise. Beer will go up at fucking. Vesco Park, I'll tell you that much if that happens.

Enjoy paying $90 for a pretzel on Sunday. It won't cost a lot. You barely pay a livable wage. You still, it costs to hire 1,000 employees to work every day. Don't worry, I'm sure the billionaire owners can still afford another yacht, island, or country. While true, they would be very terrible business people to go, I got an idea, a discount store where everyone has a personal shopper. So shopper for things that cost $398. Yeah.

Jesus Christ, man. Lacey one star. Do not get cell phones here, all caps. Right. I wouldn't. Thank you. That's the idea. It was never, never even thought about doing that.

So thank you, though. A couple months ago got two cell phones through AT&T was lied to about monthly billing. it was never $92, try $140. I clear as day told them that 92 was fine, but I could not pay any more than that and having other struggles for. Went back there, oh, it should go down soon. What?

No, that's the bill. What are you talking about? I don't go down soon, don't worry about. It's not swelling for Christ. No, yes, that'll be okay. You put a lice on it here, right? Absolutely did not. The icing on the cake was being told

I had coverage for replacement if phone was damaged. My husband dropped his needed replacement. Dropped his needed replacement. Was told there's no fucking punctuation here either. Right. None. Was told that we never accepted coverage making me livid. Makes me livid.

Why lie to a customer to get the sale when you could be honest and focused on making the customer want to come back? I am now in debt, but I refuse to pay anything or deal with these people ever again. Do not go to Walmart for cell phones. They are complete idiots, especially at this. one. Right. They sound like dishonest, more than idiots, from what you're saying. And it's likely a Verizon rep, right?

It's not somebody that works at Walmart selling phones. I don't know how that works in a Walmart. I don't know how that works. I don't know how that works. I don't know if you. At the Target near me, I took my daughter. There's a Verizon rep that walks around the store, literally asking people, what do you pay? Yeah, that's Target, though.

That's my point. I don't know if that's what they do, they have it at Walmart or not. Walmart, it might be like some fourth party vendor who, you know, some modophone or some shit. We have no idea. We use Verizon Towers, those. Yeah, it's AT&T, but like the and is different. So it makes it a different company or some weird shit. You never know, some off-brand shit.

The and is like that E with the two lines. Yeah, that's what it is. You know, it's similar to AT&T, but a little bit different as your phone won't work. It's not an M-P for. Jennifer One Star. Every time I do pick up, they give me moldy fruits. Every time I do pick up. So I guess you order it and they bag it for you.

They give me moldy fruits or expired food. Yeah, they're like, great. We get to get rid of this shit when people aren't picking it out themselves. This dip shit already paid. Fuck them. Yeah. Fuck them. I also looked at some mangoes the other day and they were rotting with flies everywhere when I picked a bag up.

They're trying to kill me, I swear. Ah. Next up, this is a man after my own heart, and he's furious, and I understand why. One star from Robert. No punctuation, though. One star, no periods. All right. Your Walmart greeters need to understand that there is no Michigan law that states I have to show a receipt, you motherfuckers.

Costco's, I won't do it at Costco either. You can tackle me to the fucking ground if you want to see that receipt. No Michigan law. No Michigan law. You will physically pry that receipt from my fucking cold dead hand. I will not show it to you. I just go, no, thank you. Nope, thank you.

And just keep walking. Nope, thank you. Out of the way old lady. Fuck you. I paid. Eat shit. I don't appreciate being accused of stealing when I refuse to show a receipt and then have your greeters talking back saying that I need to show a receipt. Listen, you're all 80.

Get the fuck out of my way. I can injure you so easily to touch me. I'll give you an extra second because I'm sure your hip is stiff, but that way, please. I'm leaving. Get out of my way. Get out of my way. It's Walmart's policy. Walmart's policies do not trump my constitutional rights.

I will never show my receipt in a Walmart unless Michigan wants to pass a law stating that I have to. I know my right. I know my constitutional rights, he said. That's what the founding fathers. I remember, there's a long story, actually. I believe it was Hancock, who sat back and said, gentlemen, gentlemen. I'm tired.

A query for the table. What if say, say a gentleman leaves a large establishment selling goods, say a general store of some kind. Say he is confronted by. an elderly person making a small wage after retirement and forced to show a receipt. Shall he acquiesce to such a request or shall he persist on? He shall challenge him to a duel and if he does not accept, he shall walk free. He shall walk free.

Receit kept in thine pockets for another time. Yeah, that was what they were worried about. Robert, I love it. You're the best. So Walmart picks and chooses who they check, by the way. It's what neighborhood it's into. You know this. They treat you way different.

Absolutely. Go to the Walmart out by the 101 and Bell out there. Frank Lloyd Wright. Right. Go to that one. See if you get picked up. And then go to the Walmart on Indian School on the west side and see how differently you're treated.

It's incredible. Yeah. Absolutely. Or even very transparent. And not even that either because. I live in a decent neighborhood and the one near me, if I go in dressed like a fucking scumbach, don't shave my head or clean up at all, and I just look wiry and homeless, they check me all the time. All the time.

I wear a lot of sweatpants. Yeah, yeah. Those ones that are like torn and stained. Because they're so comfortable that way. But, yeah, that doesn't matter. Get the fuck out of the way. Yeah. Did you see me stealing anything?

Right. Go back and ask those guys to look at the cameras. Have them watch me fucking pay for this. You don't have personal shoppers, but I know you have security. I know you have personal watchers. Speaking of security, Amy, one star, the security that drives around in this parking lot wasn't paying attention and nearly smashed right into my Dodge Charger.

My dash cam, why the car? What a weird flex that is. It's right into my Dodge Charger. Right in the car that belongs in a Walmart parking lot. Perfectly fits in. My dash cam caught it all on camera. I repeatedly tried to call, I call repeatedly to try to talk to someone at Walmart about what happened and no one will answer the phone. Insane.

Whoever that security guard is driving that security car around today and I just left the parking lot needs to get fired. Yeah. He was literally inches away from smashing into my car all because of. he just wasn't looking before he started to drive. I shouldn't say Dodge Charger again. Yeah. My Dodge Charger is thankfully to admit it. One star from Wild B.

One star. The customer service for return is really, but they don't know how to talk to people, is really what? They left out the adjective that is important there. That makes this whole thing matter. Yeah. They really built us up for nothing.

nothing on that one. The customer service for the return is really... Anyway. Shit. But they don't know how to talk to people. Worst treatment, horrible, no respect nor care. They act as if they own the place and you're just nothing worst stuff. Oh, boy.

You're just nothing worse stuff. Worst stuff, nothing. Walmart. Fucking no punctuation again, by the way of course. I mean, it is Walmart. It is the worst stuff inside those tours. worst stuff, yeah, including the people and everything else. It's all brand new, but it's the worst stuff.

It's the worst new stuff we have. See, these jeans are the worst. No one's ever worn them before, but they're terrible. There, have it? Tags. Brand new. This is all the worst stuff, and the worst people selling it to you. It's just the worst.

James One Star just watched a guy steal two whole bags of food at self-checkout. Not from Walmart. How will they ever recover? Which means I just didn't see shit and was mine of my own business is what that means. Also, self-checkout, that's what it's for. Yes. This is for the... You know what it is?

It's for the bold self-checkout. If you have the balls to get up there and try to steal, this is for you. You can either pull it off. You might get caught, but you can pull it off. Yeah, get in there, Brad Pitt. Start your caper. Let's see it. What are you got?

Let's see it, motherfucker. Punch in the code for a very... cheap vegetable for your fucking cucumbers and British shit. For your English cucumbers and all that bull. And your saffron. Just say it's fucking parsley. Put in the cheap codes for everything and walk it on out the door and see if that old man doesn't try to stop you.

Doesn't fucking compare your receipt with your vegetable hall. This is how ridiculous this is, though. Lady running the self-checkout purposely tried to distract me away from noticing. What? What? Oh, it's a racket. She's in on it. It's a rack. She's in on it. She's in on it, man. Don't come here to ghetto. Yeah. This sounds great. You could make friends with the employees and they'll help you steal. This sounds like a great Walmart. I don't go here. They're showing you the PLU codes for cheap shit. Yeah. Michael One Star, the customer service in special pickup department are unprofessional. I place an order knowing the product

are available because I went there earlier. Why the fuck didn't you get it while you were there? Right. Why would you do this? And they canceled because on the system set is not available, but when you go in, the item is two of each item on the shelf. So I took employee to see the product. Oh, God. Walk him there?

He doesn't give a shit. All of this, you could have just went in and bought it and skipped all these steps. What are you doing? A gotcha moment? What is this? Yeah. What's a freaking three on your side? Why you got the news here?

Yeah. What are we talking about here? All right. Justin, one star. Smells like a dispensary. Yeah. It's getting better all the time. Employees will help you steal and people have weed here.

This sounds great. Walmart smells like a weed. Awesome. The stocking quality is basically non-existent. I think they mean stocking of the shelves, not like pulling on stockings. And these have to be the most depressed, lazy and rude employees I've ever come across. Yes. It's Walmart.

Yes. That's who they hire. I know several people that worked at Walmart for a long time. They were very depressed, lazy, and rude because they were miserable because they worked at fucking Walmart. How would you feel? I'm depressed when I go there to shop. Everybody, I get to work there.

And I get to leave here. It's like going to a prison and going, the guards are just, they're not a lot of fun those guys. Yeah, no, they're in prison most of the time. That's why they're dicks. Everybody here seems so sad. Just miserable in this fucking place. It's a goddamn job, man.

Man, and a shit one. If you ask them a question, they either don't know or don't care, and they definitely won't find out for you. No. The redhead and customer service is the, with the very mysterious ego doesn't help either. Like, why does she have an ego, I think? You're saying she's hideous and works at Walmart

and how the fuck dare she have an ego. You just fell back away from the mic. That was great. Ah, it's so funny. How dare she have an ego? But she does. Oh, my God. I like that they didn't add, like, you fat bitch or anything like that.

Just mysterious ego. You know better. Oh, that's amazing. This bitch would know mirrors and self-evaluation. If it bit her on the fat ass, she wouldn't know it. Right on her. fat ass with red hairs coming out of it. Oh, man.

There is a reason why Walmart is so cheap, and it's not a good reason. These people are great. Lance finally, last one, one star from Lance. When an employee calls me ignorant, as I'm spending $400, I get really unimpressed. Do you? Yeah, that's just, that's the line. That's just my point. That's what I live by.

That's what I live by. Maybe take off your COVID mask and be proud of who you are and what you do and quit being jealous of those who buy cheap lunches to pack for a job that pays for your food stamps. What? Now we're attacking people for working. Now it's a political stance in Walmart. What the fuck are you talking about? This person goes to work every day and you're taking shots at them. They're working.

What do you, we used to go, oh, yeah, at least a person's working hard. He's working or she's working. They're there. Yes, they're lazy and rude, but they're at work. You're spending $400 on cheap lunches? Wow. That's a lot of for who. How many fucking people?

How many people are eating that? Jesus Christ, man. Are you feeding that to yourself? Wow, I'm shocked by the mysterious ego on this motherfucker. Mysteriously egoed Walmart shoppers. and workers and everything else. Jesus Christ. Everyone, as soon as you step through the doors to work or shop,

you humble yourself just a little bit when you go to Walmart. Calm the fuck down. Every down. Chill the fuck out. We're all at Walmart. We're all there at some point. I remember when I was a kid. I told my mom, she was going to Walmart.

She was like, you want to go with me? Maybe I'll pick you up something. I was like, I don't want to be there. What if I see one of my friends? She goes, your friend will be at Walmart. And it's like, hey, great point. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah.

Then he also has explaining to do now, doesn't he? It's like if you saw your friend at a gay bar. Yeah. Oh, I guess we're both gay. That's why. Yeah, that's the reason. Oh, shit. Oh, look at us.

Neither of us has to say shit. Yeah. Oh, there we are. I guess we both know what we're doing, don't we? Do the same thing. Oh, anyway. So there you go, everybody. Thank you so much for listening.

Jesus Christ, be careful of the car wash. Good Lord, move out of an apartment complex if there are continually bigger species of animals moving in and taking over. They're moving up the food chain. Jesus Christ. Watch your bends at the car wash. Thank you so much, everybody. Definitely shut up and give me murder.com is where you get the tickets for March 21st.

It's coming up real fast here in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. Get those right now. Come see us. We can't wait. Keep joining us next week because we'll be here. We can't go anywhere. Thank you so much, everybody. Have a good one and see you later.

See soon. Bye.