Your Stupid Opinions - Rearranging Your Insides, Bowling Brawlers, Beggars, Garbage & Camels

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

This week, we find out what people think about a global destination with a bit of an issue with camels. A very personal item that may "rearrange your insides", if used improperly. A place where bowling, bar food & billiards go hand in hand with brawling, slapping & attitude... And much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! We're so excited. My name is James Petrogallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman.

Thank you for joining us on another wonderful edition of other people's complaints and grievances about things that sometimes are warranted, sometimes not, but they're always hilarious. And I can't wait. Oh, this is the best. If you're listening to this on a Monday morning, happy Monday morning to you. Good morning. What's that, a macchiato?

Good morning. Good choice. That's a good one, yeah. It smells nice. Very good. Definitely, if you like the show, follow us on all the pages there. It's all social media, and there's fan pages, too, listener pages. Sure are.

They really talk about it and get into it and post their own stuff. I love that. So get into all that. It's a lot of fun. We cannot wait. And let's get right into this. Let's do it. Let's wrap it up.

Let's kick it off. Yes, last week was our special Valentine's Day romance edition, where it was all just romantic things. It's a Poconos resort with the mirrors on the ceiling and the heart-shaped I'll never get over how misleading the word Poconos is. Oh, God, it does sound like something different. We finished up with a trip

for if you're, let's say, you're not having any luck and don't have anybody to share Valentine's with, you go to Sherry's Brothel in Pahrumpf, Nevada where it's a legal... Sherry. Sherry's gonna hook you right up. It's a legal brothel. Pahrumpf, Nevada, where it's a legal sherry. Sherry's going to hook you right up. It's a legal brothel. It's all above board, I guess, and everything like that.

Oh, sherry. We ended halfway through these, and some people, there was a lot of good reviews of it. I mean, it's a place where you can go and women will have sex with you and pretend to like it. For a nominal fee. I mean, yeah. Most of the complaints so far have been about the price of the thing and that you're not you can't really haggle like you're

at a swap meet yeah because you know it's a set price joint basically so because it's because it's sex you know it's just weird to be like i don't know what let me let me see your ass again like that's a weird it's just creepy an old set of tower speakers is not what this is. That's what I mean. This isn't a yard sale. I'm talking about the Sirwin Vegas. This isn't your dead grandfather's Barka lounger. This is a fucking, this is a woman.

So let's get into this with James here. Gives it one star, because now we're into the one star reviews. And his picture, by the way, profile picture on Google for the reviews, is a cat licking its own ass. All class right away for James. One star. Here we go. I didn't get the right amount of time that was agreed upon. Oh, you were looking at your watch? That's not good.

I mean, I bet she was. I would be if I had to fuck James. Did you finish after 40 minutes or did you not? Here's the problem here. He says, the woman complained. The woman. Oh, about what? You don't even remember her name.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Maybe he's being nice and not one to be accusatory. The woman complained, gave me a countdown. Ten minutes left. Eight minutes left. That is really. Ouch. What am I, married?

That is daunting. And also, like, what are we doing? Am I going to come on zero? Is this a launch sequence? What are we doing? This is weird. what are we doing am i gonna come on zero is this a launch sequence what are we doing this is weird how are we working this yeah uh eight ten minutes left eight minutes left six you better hurry you better hurry hurry i got six minutes that's forever i was gonna say six minutes well i guess when he's 50 into it you're like listen homeboy i don't know how long it takes you to do this but but better get cracking.

You got six minutes left. Get after it, man. I think she's telling him we're not going into overtime was her, I believe. That's her way of saying, like. There will be no start of a new game. No, that's what I mean. There's no overdraft protection on this at all. Like, if you go long, that's it.

It's over. No overdraft. No overdraft protection at all. This is not, you know, JPMorgan Chase here. Next touchdown wins. Fucking get after it, man. This is sudden death, so get it going. You better hurry.

And she smelled. Where? That's what I mean. Smelled like what? Yeah. Too much perfume, lotion a lot of times the odor a lot of times women will have a lot of lotion on and sometimes the lotions are not a great smell but that's sure they like and i'm weird with smells so sometimes sometimes i'll smell certain things

cucumber melon can ruin the mood and i'm just like oh god like i gotta like avoid the aisle of that store like Like it's weird. Like my eyes will water. Yeah. Jesus, what the fuck are you wearing? Yeah. It's been men with bad cologne, too, which is women have the lotions more that are really have that smell.

So unprofessional and a rip off. Well, I mean, these women probably shower four times a day, too. So I bet she didn't smell, you know, body. But, you know, the other thing is, dude, she could have had a big plate of spaghetti last night full of garlic. You don't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know her life. Some people, it'll stick with you.

It comes right out of your pores. You get an hour with her. Figure it out. Yeah. Or whatever time you bought. Totally. Here's another one star from Nate. Okay. you bought totally here's another one star from nate okay nate said just seemed expensive

for yeah for five thousand dollars a half hour and ten thousand dollars an hour oh how much do you just get rejected nate then he said overall good experience for an hour it better be a great experience 10 grand an hour i'll fuck you for 10 grand an hour nate what are we talking about let's i mean social media hit us up like that jimmy are you into that that's you know that's more than we make per hour in a live show like i'll buy a lot i want i don't want to do that either, so I'll fuck Nate. Ten grand. Ten grand. But we've had other ones here that were like five grand an hour,

so I think that might depend on, he might be banging like a porn star that's in residence for the week or something. Right, right, right. Or he flaunted around his crypto, Jay. That's the outnumbered crypto guy last week. Just because I have a lot of crypto, tried to rip me off brah that guy unless he was going i got crypto um overall good experience there and that's got 22 thumbs up for that review really so apparently very expensive as a normal thing here is jake with one star all right the women were not even the women were the women where he puts. Yeah.

The women were real stuck up after I turned one down. No one else approached me. Uh huh. Yeah. She told her friends. Also, maybe you were rude to her. Yeah. You said something shitty and she went over to her friends and like that guy's a dick.

Fuck him. And they were like, I'm not going to fuck that guy. Then fuck. Yeah. You know if you don't like somebody it makes it harder probably to pretend sure you want to at least be neutral on them i would think going into this yeah i would think if you go into a place like this you have a little bit better of an attitude than you have a good carry in in a in a strip club you know what i mean oh and in a strip club so i treat those gals like princesses because that's what they should be treated like. What they're doing is a,

is a kindly act. Yeah. It's pretty amazing. But if you're going into a place like this, they're going to show them to you. Right. You go into a place like this, you better have wads of cash ready to pay,

uh, whatever the fucking price you negotiated and smile. God damn. Have a good attitude. Yeah. You can't expect them to have a good attitude when you don't have one. You know, you're walking in being all shitty and you expect them to come up and flaunt over you. Oh, what is his name?

Oh, Jake. Oh, how much crypto do you have? Oh, Jake, you're so handsome. Fuck you. No, just be a man. Grow up. Come on. Yeah, no one else approached me.

The host would not let them. So I had to settle with the first one. I went back. He's like, all right, ugly, get back here. No, I know I said I didn't like your ass and it was weird and flat, but you know what? I'll throw one at you.

This lady said you're the only one that I'm allowed to fuck right now. So what is going on? He had to walk back whatever shit attitude he had yep he really did and then cough up five grand which is even better yeah that does sting a little bit that is good um okay next up judy and it looks like a lady yeah we got a lady two stars and she's a got local guide status here real yeah a lot of a lot of reviews, a lot of photos. All right, two stars from Judy.

Quote, true janky place. Okay. That's a bad start. The overwhelming stench of old cigarettes and overused atmosphere. Overused. Overused is a weird word to use. That's a very carefully chosen word to use in a brothel. Overused is a weird, like, furniture or who, which is extremely, oh yeah, overused atmosphere, which is extremely dark and dingy, greet you as you enter. Okay, so you enter a dark, dingy area where they greet you, apparently, is what she says.

The restrooms were deplorable. Yikes. I want cleanliness in all aspects. Yeah. This place, hygiene. First things first. Number one, first and foremost. So we imagine the rooms would be an equivocal disaster.

Yeah, I would think so. So we didn't even, we. We. Apparently this is a couple thing here maybe. Or a bunch of our friends. A bunch of our friends. Bachelorette party. I have no idea what they're

doing here the girls look like just that girls well that's good that's what you that's i think that's what you do they mean age-wise yeah or does she mean too young they're too young that's not great yeah there would be a range at a place like this yeah you know what i mean for different people that would come in i don't know't know. I've never been a madam. I've never run a brothel. But you think for marketing purposes. If you go to a car dealership. To hit something for everybody. Yeah.

You go to a car dealership, there's a sedan, there's a fucking truck. They got a full size. They just have all pickup trucks. There's a station wagon. You know, you make a full line. Yeah. Not able to see rooms or have a tour before we decided to check in. We suppose that's because they know it's run down and unworthy.

Now, mind you, the sign out front right when you turn in says, come on in for a free tour. That's the big sign. You're welcome. Come on in. So it makes no sense that a lot of people said they've turned down tours. I don't know if they're understaffed that day or what. Unwelcoming and unfriendly greeting to top it off. We left but decided to tour

perum first well that's a quick outing yikes that's there's nothing there blink nope uh we found the winery and truly enjoyed a great lunch and bottle of wine so you should have the wine first and then went there this 360 degree views of the mountainsides made our trip worth it okay so they didn't even partake even fuck no they went in and said bathrooms are dirty and left so bathrooms are gross wine i mean while understandable yeah why are you reviewing the it's you can't really review right you didn't even do anything here yeah your first thing would be didn't go through the whole process like i went to mcdonald's and didn't order any cheeseburgers, so what are you talking about?

I went to the movies. I went to the snack bar. It was dirty, and I left. Don't review the theater. Yeah, yeah. Star Wars sucks. Yeah. Fuck you.

You didn't watch it. What are you talking about? Here we go. Two stars from Alexander here. This is the last one. Two stars. Very underwhelming experience especially considering cost so they're this is a whole cost benefit to be analysis ratio thing who expects us to be cost

effective that it's not going to be no no not at all compare it to longevity and money spent during a marriage and then the separation and court costs of that this is incredibly affordable well yes that's the truth and the what you're paying for c is also um these girls aren't forced to be here these ladies that's that helps that's enough they chose this something about that makes it a little more desirable i would feel like that they're not like there's no guy in a in an alley going that's right bitch get in the car like i don't want to that's uncomfortable i'm not doing that that's disgusting and the fact that you have to pay for a building and you have to pay for maintenance and there's this is all medical equipment encompassing shit yes there's a lot

that goes into this the overhead alone is insane it's a lot lot. Oh, tons of overhead. Jesus. Pros. Here we go. We've got a pros and cons. This person's very businesslike. Pros and cons. Pros. The main building and property have a neat look to them. All right.

Architecture. Yeah. Staff was friendly, but not particularly timely. Yeah, because you're there for sex, so you'll wait. You'll wait a minute. You got time. That's the pros. Cons.

Without a doubt, the most uncomfortable hotel room I've ever stayed in. What? The bed was almost solid. It's because they probably have to replace it every month and a half. It's probably brand new. Because it's just destroyed, covered in jizz and broken down. Cockroach was found alive in the bathroom. Oh, no.

Made it sound like it was a hostage in there. It was tied to a chair. We found him alive. Took him right to the hospital. A little dirty. A little worse for wear. He had a black eye. A little worse for wear.

He was tied to a chair like reservoir dogs with an ear missing. But we paid the ransom. We got him back yeah we got him he's okay he's everybody just so you know the cockroach survived uh spent a couple hours with jacqueline i don't i hope that's not the cockroach's name um which turned into the very underwhelming experience and high price she was awkward initially forgot her name when introducing herself. And names and quotes. Yeah, that's not her name. What did I tell you it was?

She probably uses a different one all the time. Yeah. Because you can be anybody you want all the time. That'd be kind of neat. Yeah, sure. Reinvent yourself every day. Different name every day. What do you care what her name is?

Also, if she didn't remember it. Yeah. Whatever she says her name is, that's didn't remember it yeah whatever she says her name that's her name today if every 10 minutes she changes it pay the fucking money and shut up yeah no shit her pussy is out who cares what her name is she doesn't turn into a different person and punch you in the two-hour encounter. Yes, she's probably got to go take some fucking NyQuil or something. This guy laid down.

Yeah. Something. NyQuil? Why did she use that? I don't know why NyQuil. Is that the drug of choice? I don't know. I just meant maybe some ibuprofen.

She's got to be tired and hurting. I would think so. Two hours you're beating away on this woman? Jesus. Jesus. In the two-hour encounter and put very little effort in for the four-figure payday. She's pacing herself for a long time. Four figures.

Four figures is not even 10 grand. So this person, see what I mean? She's less expensive. He's getting like $8,000 two hours or something? Oh, man. Equipment involved was incredibly cheap. What kind of equipment do you need? What are you doing?

Like a hoist? How big is your cock? What are we talking about? Glad plastic wrap should not be involved. Why is there glad wrap? What? What is going on on on the walls she charged you less than 10 grand for this are they gonna dismember you afterwards what's that

yeah they laid down a tarp is what yeah that's what i mean is this a dexter kill room what are we talking what's happening at this fucking place all in all a negative first experience that i will not be doing again yeah that sounds it's I don't want to do that either. I want no part of that, so I get it. Yeah, you paid a lot for, I don't know, man, two hours. Why do you need to be there for two hours? Yeah, get it together, bro. Good God.

All right, we've had our fill of brothel now. I'm done, yeah. Vegas was crazy, the brothel was crazy. We need to take it down a few. Mellow out. A brothel was crazy. We need to take it down a few. Mellow out. A few notches here. Let's go to Lincoln, Nebraska to go bowling and playing pool. What do you say?

That's as mellow as it gets. That's mellow. Bowling alley in where? Bowling alley in Lincoln, Nebraska, which is, I would say, one of the circles of hell. I'm not sure which one. Is that on the east side of the state? It is, right? Yeah, all the way over there. Way over there. Here we go.

Jesus Christ. This is Madsen's Bowling and Billiards and EJ's Lounge and Grill. Oh, it's two places. Yeah, because there's a lounge and grill inside the bowling alley, is what I'm assuming. That seems like how this works. It's got 4.2 stars. Yeah, because, well, there's a lounge and grill inside the bowling alley. That's what I'm assuming. That seems like how this works.

It's got 4.2 stars. It's at 4700 Dudley Street in Lincoln, Nebraska. Let's find out what it's all about here. Some people dig it. Here's a lady that loves it. Five stars. All right. Bowling on Sunday goes until 11 p.m.

Jesus. Well, then, late night bowling. Don't you work on Monday? I don't think so. She bowls for a living. Cool place. The bowling alley isn't that big, exclamation point. Every single sentence has an exclamation point at the end, which completely has no meaning then.

Everything's exciting? Not everything's exciting. But on the other hand the pool table has many that's my exclamation point inflection i loved that's a sentence with an exclamation point really yeah no noun after that not what you loved or what you know the experience she's done it just she's loved i love her life, yeah. Portions are not expensive, exclamation point. I loved the margarita there, exclamation point. The staff are friendly, exclamation point.

Bar and box, exclamation point. What is that? I don't know what that means. Bar and box? You box after you get drunk? I don't know what happens. I guess. They give you your booze in a box?

I don't know. I will definitely be back,lamation point heart so okay man she's had a lot to drink yes can say you really do did enjoy those margaritas didn't you um here's another five star review we took our five-year-old grandson to madsen's for a day out we arrived a little before 11 a.m and the senior bowling was ending the seniors yeah they get out at 8 a.m to go bowling wow at 11 a.m at a bowling alley how early do you guys get up wow we decided they were all waiting outside when the guy opened it too you know they were that's how they that's how do it. We decided to go there on a Tuesday as they have $2 games on that day. Molly was running the lanes when we arrived. She was super nice and helpful with our needs as this was our grandson's first time going, quote, big boy bowling.

Oh, no bumpers. Yeah, no bumpers. She made sure the gutter guards were up. No, there are bumpers. I guess this is just with a bowling ball. Without the Fisher-Price shit? Not the plastic one you put out in the yard, yeah. She made sure the gutter guards were up and brought him a dinosaur ball launch,

which made bowling for him much easier to hit the pipes. Like a brontosaurus. They just put that little ramp up. That doesn't do shit for you. You're not teaching him anything. No, all that does is he just pushes it off the ramp. That's horrible. He's never going to learn. It gonna learn tell him how to do anything you should immediately four years old

no bumpers yeah you're gonna throw it in the gutter you're gonna score seven forty times after it but when you're six you're gonna be able to get fucking pick up spares that's the thing so what are we talking about here you want today i'm to throw a bunch of money away on a couple of fucking frames, but let's go. I'm the one paying for this. What the fuck do you care? You want to have fun or you want to be fucking good at this? Which one is it? Now put this cup on.

This cup on. Here's your helmet and your spikes. Get the fuck out there let's go you want to be invited to a birthday party at 12 and impress some chicks or you want to be a fuck up yeah you're gonna have a fucking hook bang hitting bangs strikes go and turkeys up on the screen then you're gonna be like what's up people are gonna be like fun's not today yeah one's in six years you'll see building isn't fun you build a house the digging the foundation's not fun later on you're gonna be sitting watching tv in the living room. That's fine. You got to build the foundation first. You do that when you're four.

No joy for you. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, stop crying. Cut it out. Well, the pins are that way. Everybody else. Not like anyone's pushing it into there.

You think you're embarrassed. You think you're... I'm embarrassed. I brought you. I'm paying for this. Again, this is costing me money. You're not having fun? How do you think I feel?

I got to pay for it. Now I got to deal with you crying? I got a crying kid. Let's go. Fourth frame. Get your ball. You're up. You got zeros.

Come on. I'm kicking your ass. It's 68-0. Let's go. I'm winning. Oh, man. Little guy even picked up a spare. Well, yeah, it was aimed at the...

Of course he picked up a spare. You got bumpers. Yeah. And a brontosaurus ramp. Come on. Jesus. What are we talking about here? My grandmother could have done that from her deathbed when she was 93.

No problem. Knocked the ball off the ramp. There you go. My Jimmy, there you go. I the ball i did it i got the spare my dad i do i i pick up a spare it's okay um okay uh it was also taco tuesday as well you said also already you don't need to say as well pick one also two as well frustrating. My wife and I had two soft tacos each, and they were only $1.50 each, and they were very good. In addition. In addition. Our grandson.

Very good. In addition. Our grandson had the typical child fare of grilled cheese and French fries, which she absolutely loved. Molly brought our food to our lane. That Molly, boy, she really is. She's a very good face for the place, and the atmosphere is very nice. What the fuck is that? Very good face.

I think Molly's pretty hot. Molly's got a great ass. I'm glad she is. I like to watch her walk away when she drops off them grilled cheeses. Yeah, it's a real bummer when she leaves. I highly recommend Madsen's for a nice experience and a great day out. Thanks for a great time to everyone there. All right.

Now we got one star. Let's go to here. All right. Absolutely terrible service. Yeah. Terrible. Bartenders were slow. Uh-huh. Keno customers served before bar

customers yeah yeah gambling they have keno yeah a lot of those places will have keno uh for some reason i guess because it'll keep you sitting there drinking because you're waiting for your stuff to come up so that they yeah this is a different experience for a five-year-old they're having like oh here's a family let's be nice for these people you're like hey asshole who gets drunk at bowling alleys and plays Keno, you're going to have to wait a minute, okay? I'm getting grilled cheeses for that family out there that's buying stuff. That kid that's crying because his dad said, you want to have fun?

If anybody knows anything about like a bowling instructor, please help that child. He's really in trouble. The dad won't even help him. He's going, pins are that way, asshole. Not even helping. Bartenders are slow. Atmosphere was not the same as it was when Ben ran the place. Oh, get Ben back here.

They got a Ben is greater than Molly sign, I feel like, at this point. Do not recommend. I do not. Just do not. I'm telling you not to either. Also, there's another bowling alley within walking distance if that's what you're looking to do. How many bowling? What is this?

The bowling district of Lincoln? Wow. How many bowling alleys are within walking distance of each other? Those usually are spread out. I'm trying to think about back in Phoenix. How many are close? I don't think there's fucking any close to each other. They're spread out.

No one would open a bowling alley if there's another one close by. You go, well, there's already a bowling alley there. How many bowling dollars can we compete for here? This is crazy. Here is one star from Riley. One star. At first, Madsen's was great. Uh-oh.

First, it was great. As the night started out, it got worse and worse. I thought they meant they went there years ago, and it used to be good, and now it's was great. Uh-oh. First, it was great. As the night started out, it got worse and worse. I thought they meant they went there years ago and it used to be good and now it's gone downhill. Jesus, one experience? One day, it really had an arc. Downhill. Yeah, like a little one of those slide whistles. The customer service is absolutely horrible.

Every person servicing customers is rude and acts like you are a menace. Oh. A menace. That's harsh. Maybe you are. Yeah. Maybe it's you. We have been here for an hour, and in the hour, this person is reviewing from.

From. He's typing away. At his seat. Hold on a minute. Yeah. As on his seat. And it's only an hour in, too. He's not even. You spend a couple hours in a minute. Yeah, on his seat. And it's only an hour in, too. He's not even.

You spend a couple hours in a bowling alley. We've been here for an hour, and in the hour, our two lanes, but he says two lames, which is pretty fun. Our two lames have broken at least six times. Yeah. Nothing on our end. So they didn't break it, is what they're saying. On top of that, these are some of the driest lanes i've ever bowled in in a long time okay dry so not oiled up not oiled properly well then the spin doesn't work yeah

but it keeps the ball on the fucking lane if you're rolling straight it's better for i guess maybe for kids possibly but uh truthfully this place uh oh no here it is on top of that on top of that these are some of the driest lanes. They completely had to reset our lanes. Truthfully, this place should have a health department check every week because the cooks are disgusting. The cooks themselves. The guy himself. Yeah.

My fiance is a culinary student. Oh, here we go. Oh, Jesus. And pointed out the guidelines from the health department and they are absolutely not following them. It's a bowling alley. Of course they're not following them. And a bar. Have you been to a bar?

It stinks in there. Here's a question I got for you. How many places that you go for a culinary experience also rent shoes? Rent shoes. And take them back. And things that other people have just sweated and handed back what are you talking about and then you have fucking lane oil on your hands from touching your ball and you're picking up your french fry we're all just going we're looking the other way

here we're bowling for the next couple hours everyone look the other way it's fine super spreader every day oh you're gonna put your your fingers in the holes that other people just sweat in for all this time in different balls. And jam your gross feet into other gross feet. Yeah. It's all gross. That's what it is. Cross-contamination is definitely a thing here. The FDA Food Code Section 2-402.11.

And the point. The subsection says that food employees shall wear hats such as such has hair coverings or nets FDA food code section 3-304.15 states that when working with

ready to eat food single use gloves shall be used and the bare hand contact with food is prohibited. Jesus. This bowling alley does NOT, in all caps, adhere to the FDA guidelines. I can list more that they do not adhere to. Within our minutes we were up, when our minutes were up, my family had not even sat there

for more than two minutes because a lady came up to us and very rudely told us we couldn't camp out and that we needed to leave because other people were waiting and proceeded to start cleaning our tables before anyone had the chance to move. At least they were cleaning. Jesus. Yeah, at least there you go. Where's the FDA on that? Right. Jesus. So this is a mess here.

We will be speaking to a manager tomorrow and probably the health department maybe don't leave your house if you um are concerned about germs that much because the amount of times they bare hand things i've been to places with like single use cups their finger is inside the cup come on man it happens every day we're all if you leave your house you're getting sick you're gonna get. Yep, we're all getting in that. Then the end thing, this is pretty funny because this sounds like, this is way deep for a bowling alley. All caps for the whole sentence. Never go here if you value anything.

Was that a little dramatic for a bowling alley? They will trample everything you love. It's a grilled cheese and a bowling ball like calm the fuck down and bowl and shut up the shit man oh my god here's one from tom one star not a safe place all right a customer that was apparently a regular slapped my girlfriend here we go and his friends tried to attack me um you're leaving a lot out i feel like what happened either way you can't slap women especially in public but you know it's like stranger women and plus like your sister and you're nine and you're like i that's not what's

going on here and you got drunk and threw a hand at somebody i don't know something happened and who the fuck maybe they were being dicks and she said yeah something about it and somebody came over and slapped her which is an extreme response i would say yeah we proceeded to tell the employees the secure quote security guard slinked away while two other employees falsely accused my girlfriend and i of starting problems and told us to leave yeah she got slapped and you're out sea bass is starting shit again let's get out of here she's got a hand mark on her face and they're like get the fuck out now that is weird um i'm very disappointed that sounds like it i would give zero stars if i could yeah it sounds like it police were involved and said that they had a lot of calls from there in the past.

They also mentioned having trouble getting them to release footage from this establishment. What? Yeah, apparently they don't want to fucking. If there's a mark on a woman's face, we should be able to get video right now. Let's see what happened. Yeah, let's see what happened. Yeah, and you see it's probably this is Snooki and her boyfriend. That was the problem.

So this is Gonzalo with one star. The bar guy was a total asshole. The bar guy. Bar guy. Total asshole. I am here for the bar guy. Bar guy. Yeah, that's why I go to a bowling alley.

Best bar guy around. Bar guy. I'm here for the bar guy. Bar guy. I'm here for the bar guy. Bar guy. I'm here for the bar guy position. Still open. What are your qualifications for bar guy? Bar guy.

You like to be at the bar. You're hired. I ordered two orders of wings with a side of hot sauce, and they only gave me one. Oh. Well, then. Then when I went back to tell them, i said to go and hot sauce instead of ranch he that's what he says i said to go and hot sauce instead of ranch oh i said it was to go and you didn't give him a hot sauce he practically grabbed the wings from my hand and stomped off to get the

wings to go and for hot sauce he spit all over those those. You betcha. Those are ruined. Don't you dare eat those. His pubes are in there, man. There's so much in there. I'm not sure if he was having a bad day or what, but horrible customer service. Hire a different guy. The current guy will just stir trouble.

Stir trouble. Stir trouble. Here's Chauncey with one star did not like the atmosphere at all just not a cool place really loud really it's constant constant banging you're trying to drink and you just hear like stuff just getting hit all the time like it's getting hit with a big heavy ball right on the ground sounds like there's shit being dropped a bunch of loose cannons or live wires going around causing problems in the place what what are you 106 years old loose cannons and live wires all over this bowling alley what the hell are you talking about

live wires people just looking for trouble at the bowling alley. A bunch of alley cats. Just alley cats. Loose cannons. Definitely not for me or my friends and family. Okay. That's good. Trisha with one star.

Again, we've been coming here every Friday with the company I work with, so our individuals can bowl. She's right away throwing down her skills. Everybody throws some fascinating verbiage around this place. It's Nebraska. Have you ever been there? Yeah. We've been there before.

It's interesting. So we had some of our school-age individuals with us this visit. So we had some of our school-age individuals with us this visit. An 11-year-old girl who needed to use one of their orange balls, which is six pounds, got the ball stuck between the bummer. I mean, I assume they mean bumper. And lane. Well, again, you're treating her like you're being a pussy about it. Get the fucking bumper out of there.

Get her to whip it. We had to ask several times to have the ball removed. Finally, one of our individuals Can't take it anymore. The owner very rudely said, I'm taking the damn orange ball. To our individual. These are separate sentences. To our individual. They keep referring to everyone as individuals. These are separate sentences. They keep referring to everyone as individuals.

Our individuals can bowl. That's the third mention of individual. Fourth, school-age individuals as well. Fourth mention of individuals in this review. How can the owner speak to a person with a handicapped disability like he did? You didn't mention that. That just came out of nowhere like he did you didn't mention that that just came out of nowhere yeah i will no longer be bringing any of my staff or individuals to this rundown bowling alley is that what she is that the word she has chosen to use for people that are challenged

everyone's an individual apparently four or five five individuals in one wow and that that that smaller ball the lighter weight ball it's not supposed to be smaller in circumference, right? They should be about the same size so that they can come in and out of the return, right? I would imagine so, yeah. It's less dense, I believe. Yes, yeah, you could make it. Why does that ball keep getting stuck? Maybe because it doesn't have enough weight to keep pushing it.

Physics won't let it keep rolling. That's all. Perpetual motion won't happen. There you go. Here's Oksana with one star. It's different, but maybe. Maybe a relation. One star.

Fake people. Oh. Very two faces. Very two faces. Very two faces. Okay. Carefully. These are sentences.

I'm going to give theuses yeah as the periods are fake people very two faces carefully they hiring me what they they knew i'm second language person this is a person who does not english is not their first language supposed to training to do with to do staff most i did myself never have chance to never have chance do on my own i hate when i never have chance to on my own that's my least favorite thing when that happens after eight days work they text me on my phone with an f which is a totally different device yeah apparently uh i'm slow to learning and i did perfect everything. Perfect. Yeah. People was like me.

What? A lot's came back. A lot's come back because they like me as server. Was very broken heart, losing job for no reason. They all fake. I like her so much. I like her too. I'll hire her if I ever open a bowling alley in Nebraska. I feel bad for her.

I do, too. The poor girl's reviewing her employment there. It's hilarious. Well, this end is hilarious, anyway. Otherwise, it's kind of sad. Drink alcohol when working hours. Gambling. Free games.

Dot, dot. Dirty staff. She's ratting them all out she's ratting them out yeah that's right you took oxana's money that one night now we're gonna pay yeah you treat her like shit and take her tips she's gonna that's what happens fucking tip the cards and tell everybody about all of you what's up up now, bitches? Bunch of scumbags. That's right. Take that. Dirty games. Dirty staff. Dirty. Here we go. Randy with one star. I've been searching for a good place to play billiards.

I found Madsen's online. My first thought was, I found a good place. My search was over. You could have cut all of that off. Start when you get there. I don't know. I really like him already. He's such a dork.

Jesus. I was so disappointed when I found billiard tables in disrepair. The wood on my table was separating. Tape was holding down the felt on the cushion. Well, you can't have that in pool. That's a great place to play, man. That's where you drink there. It's not pool. Yes, you're not worried about your game.

Again, you're trying to get good or have fun? What are we talking about? This guy. And the clientele was loud and very rude. Not only loud, but they treated the billiard balls and table very badly, slamming the balls on the table real hard. It's got duct tape, man. Who gives a shit?

That's why it's duct tape, because people here treat it like garbage. Hitting balls off the tables, which is a good way to chip the balls, it can also endanger the other clientele, I would say. Overall, a trashy place with a lot of riffraff. We will not be back. My search continues. There's riffraff, live wires, and alley cats. And loose cannons.

And individuals everywhere. It's unbelievable. And angry Russian girls who used to work there. Here is one star from Zach. Paid for an hour of bowling and I was accused of actions that I was not doing and was being watched the whole time I bowled, then was kicked out for absolutely no reason. Don't waste your time going here.

No punctuation. That's why I read it like that. What was that? Just like they said it. Angry. One star from John. It's very short. Ben has some screws loose.

Ben, he reviewed it from when Ben was in charge. That's right. Ben is there. Ben is the general manager because he had a couple of responses to people and they said oh really benjamin whatever the fuck is your general manager so there you go um another guy called it a joke of a bowling alley one star canadian visiting place is a joke man okay so we've been to places now we've been to we've been to perumph we've been to scenic lincoln nebraska to go bowling now let's head somewhere completely different here when you're comparing you know a bowling

alley let's go to one of the wonders of the world instead okay let's go to one the great sphinx of giza here oh yeah i believe that's part of the whole isn't it all one complex is the wonder of the world the sphinx they're the pyramids yeah i think they're all whole. Isn't it all one complex is the wonder of the world? The Sphinx and the pyramids. They're the pyramids. Yeah. I think they're all the same. It's all one shit. If you don't know what it is, what are you talking about? You've never heard of the Sphinx. It's a giant thing in Egypt with a big face. If you're American, look at the back of your fucking money.

There's a pyramid there. That's what they are. It's huge. You've all seen The Mummy. Shut up. You know what's there. Okay. You're a big Brendan Fraser fan.

Come on. 4.7 stars out of almost 20,000 reviews, too. 4.7? 4.7. Well, we'll find out. It's fucking historic. They describe it, too. I love this on Google.

The Great Sphinx of Giza is a limestone statue of a reclining sphinx, a mythical creature with the head of a human and the body of a lion. Facing directly from west to east, it stands in the Giza Plateau on the west bank of the Nile in Egypt. The face of the Sphinx appears to represent the pharaoh Khafre. Okay, Khafre, whatever. Okay, here we go. Here's five stars.

Now, you're going to a big thing. If you see it and it exists, it's five stars, right? I mean, what do you want? The thing is carved out of fucking limestone. Whatever it is, it's amazing. A really long time ago. So long ago, it's eroding and it still looks like a person. That's amazing.

That's incredible. This is five stars. Here we go. After visiting the pyramids, we had a short drive to get to the Sphinx. stars. Here we go. After visiting the pyramids, we had a short drive to get to the Sphinx. The two let to visit the Giza pyramids

complex included the visit to Sphinx. We crossed through an open temple to get closer to the monument. We didn't go inside. We were in a group and that was not an option. We stayed there for maybe an hour. It is something that you have to see with your own eyes. It's unbelievable even when you were there.

I imagined getting closer to it, but we didn't get that close. It seemed that touching it is not allowed. Well, yeah, it would be gone. Why the fuck would you want to touch it? Why would you want to touch it? It's a majestic limestone sculpture. Even from far away, it's hard to imagine how they were able to make it out of solid block of stone. There you go.

Yes, it's amazing. Look at it. Holy shit. Wild, right? There you go. That's the proper review, I would say here. Next one, five stars from Beverly. All I can say is magnificent in all capital letters.

I had never been that close to it or seen the back of it. I saw people going into it. On my next visit, I will get a ticket to go inside. You can go inside it? Yeah, you can go inside it. There's a thing. You've got to buy it ahead of time, I think. While I was standing in awe of the Sphinx, a man wearing a necklace ID offered to take a picture and asked for my phone.

Well, if you've ever been to New York City, definitely don't allow people to do that. Don't do that. Anyone from a city would know better than that, I would imagine. Hey, give me your phone. Yeah, no. I said, no, thank you. I was aiming my phone to take a picture when he tried to take the phone out of my hands. This is a five-star review, by the way.

Well, it's proper because the fucking statue was there. You can't help what goes on around it. It was more of a tug and not a forceful grab. Security was already moving in because he was standing too close to me. I held on to my phone. I want to stress that I did not feel unsafe. I do believe he wanted to use my phone to take a picture of me. I did not want a photo and I did not want to pay a tip.

It was people working for tips. That's all it is. Nothing is free. Please be aware of your surroundings, but know this. I felt safe everywhere I went. All's all it is. Nothing is free. Please be aware of your surroundings, but know this. I felt safe everywhere I went. Okay. All right. Not bad.

First mention of camels coming up, which is going to be a recurring theme. Okay. Sean with five stars again. This is one of the coolest structures I could have imagined seeing. Learning about Egypt in school and finally getting to see it in person was amazing. Beware there are going to be so so many people there and especially do not give people with camels your money that feels incredibly racist doesn't it it feels like a good general rule for anybody why would

you give someone money just because they have a camel yeah they haven't spent their money wisely enough to have a vehicle. Are they offering to sell you the camel? Is there a ride involved? What are we talking about? Just I have a camel. Give me your money? That doesn't make sense.

Feels insulting. Do not. The not is capitalized, which is fine. Do not give any people with camels your money. These animals are treated poorly. We recommend staying in a hotel near the entrance for stunning views of the pyramids at night and quick access to the park. You will be harassed, but we find it best

to politely yet firmly decline hagglers inside the park. Yeah, like anywhere else you would go where people try to sell you shit. Like the dudes who try to give you rap CDs and fucking, you know, near any boardwalk. Every city in America. Anywhere, yeah. You just go no no no

that's all right thanks uh every once in a while i want to hear their spiel though because i think it's it's fun what do you got i'm gonna tell me tell me all about it uh here's nancy one star here we go overrated what it's a fucking thousands year old limestone carving of a lion person that still looks like a lion person overrated could have done better believable better shit on etsy is basically what she's saying like this sucks she also she probably doesn't know that a lot of that shit was looted and that what's left is still fucking incredible incredible smaller than i imagined oh my god how what sorry jesus if it fits in your living room it's incredible yeah do you have a bigger one like what are you talking about it doesn't even look like the one in vegas yeah oh wait wait wait

oh no oh yeah a lot of people want to sell you things or offering camel rides. We tried to say very polite to everyone, no, but that does not work here. They can be very rude and insult you if you don't want to give them money. At some point, it is just too much. Have you never toured anything ever? I mean, have you never been anywhere? Right i mean have you never been anywhere that's right anywhere on earth um here's one star again a lot of scams and beggars around trying to get every dollar you got with a quote being a pal card by asking you where are you from what is your name

you know they're friendly and trying to get you to weird um pay for this give me money all the culture is a complete fraud all the culture is a complete fraud oh my god what the fuck and people doing this without even understanding that tourists will not come back and will not recommend the place and will not buy anything they would definitely do if no fraud or scams done toward them. If you want to experience real chaos and real is all caps, please see people peeing on street and smelling this tons of beggars and scams, craziest drivers and 24 hour horns, I guess from the traffic.

Yeah. Don't miss this opportunity and come Cairo. You didn't mention there's a giant limestone amazing fucking thing there. Didn't even mention that once in this entire thing. And the pyramids are made of solid blocks that are enormous. But they used to have ivory panels on the sides of them, but they were all looted as time has gone. And the tops, they're flat. They don't have the cap on them.

That was solid fucking gold. That's incredible. What they built there are amazing. It's amazing. It's incredible. And a lot of the ivory that's on there, I don't know that it's ivory, marble. It's fucking marble. A lot of that marble has been recycled in other buildings in the town.

It's on the walls in hotel rooms and shit. And they'll tell you that this used to be on one of the pyramids out there. We didn't loot it but it's part of this building now. Now every time they put up like a fucking KFC they're like, yeah,

marble from the, don't worry about it. It's from the fucking pyramids. All right, what do you want? How big a bucket you want? This is King Tut's fucking tomb. You know how it works.

All right, moving on. Three piece? All right. All right, good. Potatoes and gravy? Good choice. All right, moving on. Three piece? All right. All right, good. Potatoes and gravy, good choice. All right.

It's good today. Next up, one star. Very simple. It is pretty good. Nobody said mid. Nobody said mid. One star. That's about as close as it gets.

That's all you're getting. Here's Marshall with one star. Kind of disappointing okay there's a better one in vegas that has a nose you son of a bitch that is made of plaster you motherfucker oh my god you asshole uh next up one star i hated this place it was way too hot it's fucking egypt it's the desert there's you don't look around you see how there's a lot of dust but not a lot of shit growing you know why super fucking hot there that's the point there are sand dunes man what are you

it also smelled like pee i'll bet yeah because hot. People are riding camels and it's hot. These two, Jesus Christ. One, one star, less spectacular than in movies. What are you doing with yourself? How dare you? Cruz is like five foot five also. Doesn't look like it in movies, right? So do you meet him and go, oh, very disappointing.

Wait till you see how small David Spade is. Yeah, oh, God. One star, it's got no nose. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't you Google it first? Thousands of years old. Fucking idiot.

So old. Jeez, these people, I swear. I want to line them up and punch them in the dick. One star, beggars, garbage, smell of camels. Okay, and punch them in the dick. One star. Beggars. Garbage. Smell of camels. Okay. Yeah. That's transportation.

Sounds like the beginning of a song from Aladdin, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Beggars. Garbage. Smell of camels. It absolutely does. Robin Williams sang it. There's a better one in vegas

at least it's got a nose it's got a nose sphinx ain't got no nose that's the name of it sphinx ain't got no nose uh it's called what a letdown jesus christ uh one star board there i am shocked man i cannot believe that anybody could not be impressed with things like this this is the grand canyon the fucking was the other one mount rushmore how how are people not impressed with the un Thoroughly unimpressed with Mount Rushmore. Unbelievable. Here is one star. It was one of the dirtiest, most filthy, and lowest levels of tourism in the world due to the presence of swindlers, pickpockets, and the dirty surrounding areas. Yeah, man. I mean.

Yeah. There are broke people that live near there, and they know where the people with money are, and they're going to try and get it. Beggars, garbage, smell of camels. Sorry to interrupt. Pickpockets, swindlers, and low-class what? Low-class tourists. Pickpockets, swindlers, low-class tourists. Oh, my God.

The Sphinx ain't got no nose. The Sphinx ain't got no nose. What a lockdown day. That's a 90s Disney fucking song. For sure. It absolutely is. They should have consulted us. One star finally,

the Egyptians who are near the pyramidsids the owners of horses and camels are all swindlers oh okay proper uh uh uh commas and everything in this paragraph in the whole paragraph i got paragraph and comma mixed up there you want to be relieved of their scam i don't know what that means they are scamming the scammer oh well then that's great i guess you're a scammer so you're scamming make yourself deaf and mute and you cannot hear and cannot speak like this oh that's a that's a great way to beat the scams just pretend the sign yeah shut the fuck up on the subway too no no he's saying just be deaf and mute of i don't hear you, I don't see you. Okay, just ignore it.

The conductor yelled at you on the subway that time. Why are you talking and looking at people? Shut up. He's throwing eggs at me, man. Yes, because you talked to him. You are safe from them. They are all swindlers and fraudsters, and the security men are the problem with keeping them safe. And they pay bribes to the security men.

I saw them myself. He pays them. Unfortunately, they are all in one trench. Oh, they're all in cahoots. That's a mysterious thing there. Okay, so we got back from Giza. We've seen the pyramids. We've gone bowling.

We've been relieved of our money. Our girlfriends have been slapped. We've smelled a lot of camels. My pockets are inside out. We smelled camels and a girl from Pahrump. I think it's time to get on home and get personal with the personal item of the week everybody do it personal item corner up here i gotta show you this thing because it is a terrifying looking holy is that a fucking gun it's a fuck toy what is that black piece it's it's like a it's

like oh is that like a jackhammer like Like a jackhammer that you screw with... Different tips. Oh, my God. You can put dildos with tips. You put it on, and it's got suction cups, and you suction cup it to the table, and then it just fucks you like a jackhammer, apparently. Wow.

Sensual without the L is the brand here. Sex love machine adult toy. Thrusting fucking device for men and women. Masturbation, automatic and adjustable vaginal anal massage pumping gun for singles and couples with six attachments. There is no lovemaking with that gun. No, this thing. That is straight fucking. There's a grunting involved in this.

Oh, yeah. On both ends of it. It's only $53.99 on Amazon here. It has like eight attachments. It looks like it would cost a lot more. It looks like this equipment would be... Yeah. There's a thruster in there.

It's shaped like a fucking Uzi. It is. It's only got three stars, too, on Amazon, which isn't good. So it's not good. It describes it as enhanced... Oh, by the way, you can get a two-piece, seven-piece, or eight-piece set. This is the seven-piece set. It's $53.99.

You get your bucket. Dildo bucket. You know what I mean? Same amount of pieces as a chicken. Yeah, it's perfect. It comes in a bucket, too, which is even better. Enhanced sexual experiences. This hands-free automatic sex machine for men and women will spice up your sex life to the next level.

Enjoy endless sexual exploration with the six unique attachments, including two realistic dildos, a naughty ribbed purple anal plug dildo, and more. Claim to have the dildo thrusting machine's smooth and powerful motors designed to provide nonstop intense head-spinning carnal gratification so you can reach euphoric climax over and over again. It can be adjusted 170 degrees to find the perfect angle that'll make your body quiver from sexual satisfaction. Imagine walking in on somebody using that. Yeah. Ah! Oh, God! Who did this to you?

Dear God. Why are you being forced to do this? Are you okay? Also, it says thrusting speed can be adjusted from gentle stroking to hard poundings up to 420 times a minute. What is it? How many? What? I'm trying to do the math. That's like fucking seven times a minute what is it how many how many what i'm trying to do the math that's like

it's like seven times the second almost seven thrusts a second which sounds i guess that would be you'd probably count in and out you know okay yeah it's got still that's like four thrusts of second which is wow you'd be there's gonna be There's going to be fucking brains on the wall after this thing's done. There's no way it can do that. I would think not. Not for $53. That's the equipment NASA would make. That seems like something that would.

That $53 motor, put that shit in a car. That's impressive. That's what I'm saying. This is their pistons, for Christ's sake. Here we go. Five stars. Fun product. Four exclamation points.

This product works great. Evidently. Yeah. Power and speed is good. Like an old car. You bet. Like a 77 El Camino. It's just oven.

Just need to be careful on the alignment and the amount of pressure you apply. Yeah. I would say. It's easy to set up, quiet, and comes with... It can't be quiet. No, it's fucking quiet. It's quiet. Comes with a nice assortment of attachments, and the connecting system works great. Customer service responds quickly.

What do you need service for on this? Who are you calling about this? Wow. And is very helpful resolving any issues. Great product for the price and is recommended, yet you purchased this product. You will be glad you did. Uh-huh. Not bad.

Here's five stars from Lauren. Works all right. Not disappointed. Okay. But it's five stars. Yeah. The dildos were cheaply made. What a fucking word. Hate that. Cheap dildo. That's something you keep cheap dildos were cheaply made what a fucking word hate that cheap dildo that's

something you keep it's ripped or something some of the ones included were ripped on arrival oh my god it stops frequently if your partner pushes against it but uh it but you can keep if you can keep them from pushing the machine back, it's great. She came after a few seconds on the fast mode. I just lined her up and she just was like, yeah, I came. Stop it. Get it out of me. Please, Jesus, make it stop.

Yeah, it's over. Overall, I'd say it's worth it for the price. Just figure out how to keep it from falling off the bed. Well, it's got suction cups. Right. It goes on a table, right? Yeah, which is even weirder because you're going to fuck on your kitchen table. price just figure out how to keep it from falling off the bed well it's got suction cups so right it goes on a table right yeah which is even weirder because you're gonna fuck on your kitchen table all the time every time you want to do it you got a table in your bedroom yeah it's also a bit noisy definitely something you'd want to use when you're alone i would say um here we go. Three stars from Fighting Weasel. Three stars. Mid.

Mid. 420 thrusts per fucking minute. Mid. Un-fucking-believable. I want 840 thrusts per minute. How about that? This thing, the Grand Canyon, and Mount Rushmore are all mid. Mid.

Just mid. The machine feels chintzy and underpowered. How powerful? 400 per minute. Wow. I feel like you could weed whack with this thing if you needed to. How much do you need, friend?

Wow. Any bit of resistance will stop the arm from moving at the speed you'd like it to. Yeah, that's probably for a safety fail. Exactly, so it doesn't puncture your fucking... You can't have that blast through an intestine. So it doesn't give you an episiotomy, probably, is the point. Cave in a fucking wall.

No, shit. But if you turn it up, all of a sudden, the thing starts cranking and your insides are rearranged. Yeah, well, be careful with the fucking dial on that bad boy it's like a cuisinart bowl yeah watch out yeah it's one of those bullet blenders oh jesus um not it's not a terrible piece for the price and will hold me over till i can get something better wow disappointingly short stroke length. Now, that is technical right there. That's why.

That's why it's so fast, because it doesn't have to go very far. Yeah, that's a very technical. You've got to know your stroke length. I never thought of that before. Underpowered motor and light construction makes this machine provide a wholly underwhelming experience. But I've spent more on dates for less so i'll chalk this one up in the win column still three stars for a mid product okay wow uh three stars don't forget the lube is the title yeah yeah that goes without saying friction burn for sure just got it

today and already used it wish i would have known to use lube. I'm a sex toy beginner. That's common sense, I would imagine. Gee, this is going to hurt if I ram it into me. Hold on. This person, whoever. Yes, we don't know. This is toy number one?

Are you out of your fucking mind? You're like, let me get something that fucks me 420 thrusts a second. Or minute, whatever it is. I need an 8-piece for fucking toy number one. Even for those who are like Niagara Falls, use lube. Okay, so this is a gal. I'm a bit raw, but I've had no problems with it so far. Yeah, lube things on you, I would say.

Yeah. Three stars. No, what? things on you i would say yeah um three stars um no what oh oh dl package no matter if delivered to wrong house oh i guess it's on the down low so even if they deliver to the wrong house no one's gonna knock on your door and go sorry i got your fuck machine by mistake that's nice that's nice though you don't want them to say that it's's just 420 per minute. That's pretty good. Here you go. Your neighbor.

Your neighbors. Not much. You got to eat these fuck-oosies before you go. Yeah, here you go. You want this or no? Fuck-oosies. It's all the anal attachments. It's great.

Not much power. It stops every time I have an orgasm because of the squeezing of my body muscles you had an orgasm that's when you did it five stars it's got to be a fail safe that if you if you lock up that it slows down or stop it's going to fucking injure you that's why hey can we make a new rule that if you come it's automatically five stars for anything any uh any experience if you went yeah to the grocery store came in your pants five star grocery even if all the food was disgusting and rancid five stars you came i'm sorry apple's rotten but i came all over. Also, suction cups are terrible and can't use it when my roommates are home because it's loud.

No shit. Sounds just like my 10-year-old dishwasher. Okay. That's really romantic. But worst of all is that Amazon delivery drivers are incompetent and never look at address to confirm their GPS took them to the right house because my neighbors on both sides have received my items several times. This sucks when I'm ordering items such as this. Yeah. Yeah.

One star, not worth it. Oh. Not worth it. It doesn't have enough power. This is from Jim, by the way. Doesn't have enough power. Won't suction cup to the floor. Not worth the money.

Three exclamation points. Can't get the suction cup to the floor. Not worth the money. Three exclamation points. Can't get the suction cup to the carpet. To the carpet. Yeah, my Berber won't hold it. Pieces were falling off of it, just taking it out of the box. Very cheaply made. We got a couple of those, too. Flimsy, one star.

Remote broke after only three uses. Sub $60, man. flimsy one star remote broke after only three uses so long sixty dollars man it's not even yeah no longer runs on max speed because the gears inside the machine stripped out suction cups are useless you need to anchor it with something heavy okay get a book and shut the fuck up motor will often stall if you contract if you contract too hard okay Okay. Despite these shortcomings, still capable of rocking your world once you get the hang of it. Would not recommend.

Save your money for a better model. No. It rocked your world. Five stars. Fuck you. You wore out top speed, man. You've done great. You're doing fantastic.

Here we go. One star. Question mark after this sentence. It's leaking oil? I blew a gasket. I hope not. Jesus. This is only the third or fourth time I've used this, and it stopped working and is leaking gross brown fluid.

Yeah, just throw that out. I don't want to know any more about this. That could be from you. I don't know. Where it's from. One star breaks easy. Yeah. Yeah.

Bar broke and can't give any type of resistance. It stops. I messaged them about the bar breaking. I wanted a refund and they wanted pictures of it. They were like, have you in the pictures while it's fucking you. Tell me what you're doing with it. He said, I quote, I ain't sending you a picture of a sex machine I used. I ain't doing it.

I ain't and I won't. I'm upset that I started this conversation with you now. I realize that. I was wrong. This is my bad. It's my dildo. I ruined this. You're right. Yep. You, my bad it's my dildo i ruined this you're right that's yep you sir that is your dildo it should be ringing in my head and it's not i'm sorry i apologize

that's where we're gonna leave off oh jesus christ it's so fun we will continue with the fuck machine when we start next week and we will look at a very terrible apparently domino's pizza location oh louisville kentucky that just seems like a disaster and you just order a pizza and maybe it shows up maybe it doesn't maybe it's not pizza it's insane maybe they just bring a sex toy that goes 420 rpms we don't know either way that is your stupid opinions everybody definitely thank you for listening and thank you for everything follow us on social media. You'll find it on there.

Just look it up. Join the Facebook groups and all that shit too. People seem to have a lot of fun talking about their own stupid opinions and everything else. Thanks for all that you do. I'm not getting good. No, no. Thanks for all you do for us. Listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder.

We will see you next week, everybody. Can't wait. Bye. Bye. follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of your stupid opinions ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.