Your Stupid Opinions - Scary Set Up Club Ghost Town Diner Moving The Spam

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We look at reviews for The Spam Museum, where the main complaint is "not enough SPAMples". A diner where it seems no one knows your name, or even wants to know your order. A very personal location, where the party never ends, unless you're robbed & left for dead, by the employees & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!  

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey! How is everybody out there? Hope you're doing well. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. Thank you folks so much for joining us to hear more people's complaints.

We cannot wait. Well, we always say that people's complaints, but some people are praising things. Sometimes they're thrilled. You get a mix, a mix of the action. So hopefully you are excited for this. We, as promised last week, we're going to start out with the Spam Museum. Terrific. Here.

Now, if you like what you're hearing, definitely listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are exactly what they sound like, except very funny. So check those out. Let's get into the Spam Museum. What do you say here? Now, if you don't know what spam is, I would. Congratulations on having a nice child. Yeah, I was going to say, but I don't think, I don't think younger,

people know as much what spam is because No? No. Because Spam was... It still exists in the store, right? It's all over. It's still there, but it's not the same. Like, spam over the years has lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost, lost lost, lost, lost kind of market share, it seems like, over time. And, like, I don't think

the kids now know much about some weird ham fucking mix. You think they know anything about Vienna sausages? That, no. They don't know that. That's what I'm saying. You showed a kid a can of sardines. I don't think they would know what the fuck that is. They'd be like, what is that? They put fish in a can.

Don't touch it. Unless you're cooking a sauce, don't touch it. Yeah, but this is all shit like our grandparents ate. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's almost like borderline war rations. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And it's just a massive, it's a meat cake. Yeah, it's slice up. It's made as a sustainable, non, kind of non, easily perishable because it's in a can like meat product. And that jelly that it's canned and is disgusting. I hate ham. So this is

imitation ham. I know that about you. It's just every time you say it it's shocks. It's fucking gross. It's just a pink salt lick. It's the most disgusting fucking thing there is. I like like prosciutto and capo and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have regular fucking pink ham though. You got to be out of mine eat that shit. Oh my God.

I dice it up and put it in hash browns almost every morning. Gross. I fucking love it. We can replace it with spam now, Jimmy, let's do that. Yeah, I guess. So the Spam Museum is at 101 3rd Avenue northeast in Austin, Minnesota, of course, not Texas. It's not in Hawaii? I mean, those are the

only people that actually love it. Hawaii, I get it. Yeah, we don't have room for that many pigs, so, you know, ship it over here. It can. That's terrific. But otherwise, I don't know. Now, the Spam Museum has 4.7 stars out of 3,600 reviews. Really? That's so many people. Why are you going to the Spam Museum?

Do people like Spam that much? Then again, maybe. I love a museum like anybody else does. This is, I mean, not like this, though. Like, we talked about Scrapple in a small-town murder episode, which is a regional, again, kind of a mash particle board of food. And we were like, that sounds disgusting. and we found so many people who love Scrapple,

so anything is possible. Here's five stars from Jackie. Loved this museum. Very welcoming staff. You'd have to be. They're fucking... It's the history of the grossest meat on the planet. They're hawking like fake ham, basically.

Like, you'd have to be so friendly to do that, you know? Bright and colorful inside. Great displays about the timeless and the timelessness and history of spam. Samples included. Really? No. I especially enjoyed the wartime displays and how important spam was during that era. Yeah, it's like for rationing.

That's what it's for. Yeah. If you live in non-rationing times, there's no reason to buy spam. Or real meats available. Or you've lost your job and your 401K. Yeah. But like ham isn't expensive. No.

Ham is cheap. That's what I'm saying. Is that like ham is, beef is expensive. Ham is not. You know what I mean? It's cheaper. It's still any meat now? I mean, chickens the cheapest.

But everything is, all meats are fucking steep now. They are. They are. Even like charcutory board meats, it's so steep. That's extra. Well, that's actually like good meat, though. Delicatessing meat. So spam in different countries was fun to read about.

Okay. Okay. I really want to hear how the people in New Guinea give a shit about spam. Yeah. That's what I want. How do the Sri Lankans feel about it? That's my main concern.

What's their recipe? And make sure you find out what kind of spam you are. What you are? What kind of like there's a like what kind of spam are you game apparently you can play? The kind that doesn't come in a fucking can and smell like cat food probably. The kind that doesn't eat this. That's the kind I am. No, thank you.

Plus the museum is free. Oh, I would hope it would be. um thing gives it five stars uh wife and i wanted to do more minnesota things and what is minnesota known for spam are they i had no fucking idea that minnesota had anything to do with spam i would say breaks cold tater tots yeah fucking you know hot dish i don't know i could go on but not spam Muchans, meat raffles? Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know.

People that drink milk with dinner. I don't know, things like that. It's only because I went out with this girl in high school from Minnesota and her whole family drank milk with dinner. And I was like, whoa, this is fucking, oh, it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. My favorite thing when I was a kid. My grandmother made some really great spaghetti. It wasn't.

Chicken and milk. Oh, Jesus. Sorry. That's something. It's so gross. It was so gross. My grandfather made an amazing spaghetti that I always. looked forward to and he always served it with a glass of milk and I loved it.

God, milk and tomatoes. Jesus Christ. I loved it. Might as well make vodka and milk drinks. That sounds disgusting. It would calm the acidity, it seemed like. I don't know. Your belly always felt nice afterwards. But it's going to fight in there. You're going to have the worst farts ever. I'm sure that's true. Like crazy. Like, crazy. Like. like dairy farts but like painful like you got something sharp in there it's not good man so okay uh we decided just to visit this museum to see what it was about the oh actually they say we decided to visit the spam museum just to visit and see what it is about so they visit it just to

visit yeah the best part is that this museum is free in all caps wow located in downtown Austin, Minnesota. The downtown gives you that small town vibe, but on our way to the museum, Austin, we saw the population sign that says 26,000, which I was surprised to see that many people live in this city. Who gives the shit? Who cares? Is this about spam? Huh? What are you talking about? Spam Museum is very educational, with some

hands-on stations you can play with. Yeah. I don't want to play with spam. What is what is this what what does it mean spam is it salted processed ham is that what they're trying to say it is I don't know and I don't know like what percentage of it is ham I don't know it's a mystery it's just it's in that can man yeah it's just that anything in maple now good Christ save us all make fucking it's horrifying so okay spam was so educational and hands on it is a small Museum took us about 30 minutes to an hour to explore the whole thing and shop. Shop.

Yet it was fun to look around. One of the staff was walking around with a small bite of spam on a pretzel. Tasted pretty good. Ew. My wife recently became vegan so we didn't go try anything spam at restaurants nearby. Overall, great free museum to visit and explore Austin. If someone is a vegan, the last place to take them is the Spam Museum. If you ever want her to never eat meat ever again, take her there.

Because that's how you're never going to sit and have a nice steak with your wife ever again because of what you did. Art gives it two stars. Went in with the expectation of it being more of a hands-on factory with a tour. What? She wanted to see spams going into cans and being sealed and like. I don't know what else to call them. It's actual trash. So much so that you call junk email spam.

Spam. That's what I mean. That's where it came from. It's garbage. Nobody wants it. So if you ask a kid, what is spam? They go shitty emails. They don't know what's a fucking hand.

It's the folder that my password thing goes into when I have to read. Exactly. Yeah. Whenever I sign up for something and I got to go find it in there. It is just the largest gift shop in Minnesota. Not worth the drive if you're only coming down for that. Yeah, no. I would say it wouldn't be worth it.

drive anyway. Next up, one star. This place is a waste of money. I thought it was free. Free, right. Yeah. They were moved from two places and now it's downtown. Apparently they moved a couple times.

How long before it moves again? Stay in one place. Hey, fuck you. How's that? Why are you chasing the spam museum all over the place? Not only that, if you have enough spam in a joint for long enough, you know what that smell is? You have to move. The building must be.

burned to the ground after about five years in one location probably or else it starts to stink on the outside. So what do you care if they need? They probably found better accommodations. Fuck you. Who gives a shit? Also, nothing there to see that is worth going. All it is is pictures of the history and maybe some stuff, but that's about it.

That's a museum. Uh-huh. You just described a museum is what you described. And the gift shop, that stuff is not. worth what they are asking. Not worth my time or money. Right. The t-shirts, $25. God, well, Jesus Christ. And then response from the owner, Spam Museum responding. Yeah. I am so sorry, Joe, that that was your experience. It is a free interactive museum, so the information and games inside are inside the 20-plus touch screens. Next time you're in town, I'd be happy to take you on a

tour to even further explain the photos that hang on the walls. God, they're so fucking night. You in Minnesota. This guy is a prick for no reason. I want to tell you everything. Anywhere else on earth they go, then fuck off and don't come back, cunt. Fuck off. Go. Keep on walking. They throw spam at him as he walked away going to his car. Instead, these people are like, we're so sorry.

Let me further explain spam to you. Yeah. Holy shit. Lastly, it has moved and is now at its third location in a 28-year time span. That's a long time. It's not bad. No. We moved it most recently downtown to help support our downtown businesses and our effort to be good community partners.

I appreciate your feedback and hope this explains things a little better. Wow, Minnesota. Too nice. Very kind. Wow. I want the guy. Spiced ham. Spaced ham?

Spam. Spiced ham? Yeah. Yikes. Or special army meat. Oh, yeah. Or shitty email. That's all it is. Michelle one star

The location is a lot smaller And way less things to do Then what Than it used to be? I guess it was a huge disappointment Because I brought some out of towners To check this place out And wasted almost two hours driving there

That's on you dude What did you expect when you got there Expect to spend less than 30 minutes To check out the entire museum Maybe if you walked and read slow enough You can push it to an hour max The gift shop has some pretty cute things to check out. I can't believe it's 30 minutes. That's 30 minutes to explain ham seems like

over-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-old. It seems like plenty, I would say. I don't need any more explanation of ham. 30 seconds is spam. Yeah, you could probably just... It's from World War II. It's spiced ham. Oh, is that right? It looks like canned cat food. There you go. Enjoy it. And the lions love it. They will eat it. This is a really small town, so nothing much to do or see. They do have the Hormel home. They do you can tour, but make sure to call first. Jesus, they love their canned meats up here, don't they? Yeah, they do.

When I went, they were closed for an event, but when I was in the museum, no one mentioned to me that they were closed. Huh? There were also no signs posted at the museum. No signs at all. Okay. I don't believe that person.

Okay. WRL one star. My major, Jesus Christ. My major social comment about the Spam Museum. What? Social comment about the Spam Museum. Jesus. Is that the pig, the intelligent being, which is the source of spam, is all but ignored.

No, it's not. The noble pig is ignored, Jimmy, and we don't appreciate it. There's not a statue of the first spam pig. Nope. Nope. So is any photographic evidence of hog farming. I'd like to see hog farming. I believe it exists.

I figure that the pigs were raised somewhere. Yeah. The only depiction of how Spam is made is a display containing an amorphous pink plushy pillow that you can force into a mold to see how Spam gets its brick form. The pillow doesn't even have a face. Do you need your pillows to have face? What the fuck are you talking about? Spam doesn't have a face. I hate this person so much.

Yeah, why would it have a face? hiding the dark side of factory farming makes spam seem cute, harmless, and free of externalities. Dude, it's a museum about canned ham. Shut the fuck up. Nobody thinks this shit is good or good for you. No. Showing only sanitized spam advertising images is deceptive. It's not an expose.

It's a fucking museum dedicated to the product. What do you expect? Especially to children who should learn exactly how their food is produced from birthing pen to slaughterhouse. Go ahead and tell your kids then and shut up and leave us alone. It is chopped up ham and pork shoulder that they force through a machine

in the cans and they cook it in the cans. That I knew about. I heard they cook it in the cans. That jelly forms while they, that's so gross. It's the same thing they do with like turkey in a can. They cook it in the can. Yeah. So gross. That is horrifying.

Horrifying. Then they cool it and print the can. And you're upset that there's no pictures of pigs. Okay. I'm upset there's no pictures of this shit. This sounds crazy. Katie, two stars, very disappointed. They claim to have samples.

We kept asking about them and they'd say they're coming out soon. We were there well over an hour, which, as we know, is way too much time to spend here. Oh, that's double. I have loved to taste, I would have loved to taste some other flavors. Lots of other people there also looking for samples. You want to taste all of the spam? All of them. I want to know the rich menagerie that Spam has to offer.

I need the whole rainbow, the kaleidoscope that is spam. The whole line. I want to know how many flavors they have now. Wow. The museum owner responded again. Okay, good. I am very sorry you didn't get any spampals. Spam part is all caps by the way.

Spamples. Spamples. Oh, that's awful. done. Please let me know who you talk to and I will personally find out what happened. Okay. Oh. I'm going to kick, I'm going to kick them right in the spam, boy, I'll tell you that right now. Knock somebody's spam off. Knock them on their spam. They should have gone back and made some for you themselves. Other than the lack of samples, I hope that otherwise you had an enjoyable time. James, there are so many different kinds. Classic likes, less sodium, real bacon, oven-roasted turkey, hickory smoke.

Hot and spicy and Tochino. I don't know what that is. Terriaki maple, jalapeno, Korean barbecue, pumpkin spice. Pariaki maple spam. And chorizo. Oh, get the fuck out of here. Pumpkin spice spam. Monsters.

Spam people, monsters. You're monsters. You're hideous. You created this. Your beasts, all of you. Your demand made this. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

All right. Brad one star, last one, blonde hair in my spam. Oh, no. Blonde hair and my spam, they don't care because they get cash like bam. He's rhyming. Wish they'd care.

Yeah. So I didn't feel like a piece of ham. Okay. Yeah. Well, here's the other part. I hate you, Brad. I think you had spam in your blonde hair. I think that's the problem.

That's probably the picture he has brown hair, but I don't like Brad. I'm saying I'd be more upset that they're spam there. ruined my hair. He ruined the hair. Get it out of my hair. This hair looks edible, actually, but not this slurry of canned cooked shit meat that you've given me. Can cooked, man.

Oh, God. Okay, let's go ahead. I'm still hungry. We went here, I wouldn't need a goddamn thing. So now we've got to go somewhere and find a place. Let's go see if we can actually find a place to eat here. This is the French press, which is a coffee, tea. gelato and bakery shop.

French press? The French Press. Yeah, like a French press to make coffee. This is in Cape Harbor, or Cape Coral, Florida. I'm sorry. Cape Harbor Drive in Cape Coral, or Cape Coral, Florida, Cape Coral, Florida. Cape Coral, Florida. Okay. Five stars

from Corrienne here. Okay. French Press is such an adorable little spot, tucked away in a shopping district on the water. Oh, man. That's nice. They have indoor seating. Oh, yeah, and a covered patio. There are ramps if you have strollers or wheelchairs, you know, because of the law and all.

Right. The ADA and shit. It's not an extra thing they put in for you. They didn't do it thoughtfully. They did it begrudgingly. I promise. Someone said, ah, for fuck sake, where are we going to put the goddamn ramp? It's going to cause me money.

We visited this spot in the evening for gelato, then came back for a really good breakfast. The Norwegian crepe has a lemon sauce on top that was the star of the show. This sounds like some uppity shit here. It's a cafe. I'm not a big crepe guy. I mean, I'm sure they're fine, but I never go out looking for crepes. I can't eat them. There's too much egg in them.

Oh, that's true. Yeah. You know good. Chuck four stars, very nice place, clean and friendly. By the way, Chuck's picture is him shirtless on his boat. Adam boy. Very Florida for Chuck here. Yeah.

I wish they would get the broken rear door fixed. The fact that it bothers me says more about me than them. Yes. Yeah, probably. Coffee is good, but a place like a restaurant, if they don't fix something, they're not on top of things. People who give me food. I want them to be real, like, reactive to shit and fix things when they pop up. Otherwise, you could see things in the kitchen like, oh, that's moldy, but we'll just leave it alone, you know, stuff like that.

Coffee is good and the pastries are good, although I rarely have them, okay? Amanda is my favorite employee always goes out of her way. To do what? I jerk him off, take him around the back. I don't know. Tell her to fix the fucking door. Amanda, fix the door.

It seems like Chuck, based on his picture, drives his boat right up to the fucking thing and pops out and talks to Amanda and her youthful titties. Yeah, it gets out shirtless. Hello, Amanda. You're tough. Luis. Four stars. That was some good chai.

Now, I didn't eat anything and I sat outside. I didn't have the brunch or any fancy tree. I can only imagine my review would be five or above because of how great it all looked. This was a working coffee stop and they had Wi-Fi. They said stop to. I think he means shop. And they had Wi-Fi and a great patio seating area.

I have zero issues with this place so far. I only gave it four stars, though. I don't know what did they have to do to Ergus. Maybe if Amanda came out and jerked them off, then he'd get the fifth stop. And if I have a crate, maybe I'll give it five. Maybe. I have zero issues considering this place. considering this place for my brunch needs in the future.

No one has a brunch need, by the way. Brunch is certainly not a need. No one goes, oh God, those poor refugees. They don't even have brunch. No one says that. Never happens. Those poor people. If the people in Haiti only had mimosis.

Oh, God. Whenever like a hurricane comes through, we're like, get them brunch. Those poor people need champagne eggs together with salmon for some reason. They need it. Get them a home prize. Jesus Christ. Let's see. They had a ton of dogs sitting outside, too, which is, which for me is a great sign of fantastic business owners.

P.S. That coffee wooden backdrop is genius with no picture of said coffee wouldn't backdrop. But it's genius. It's genius, though. Courtney, three stars. We're getting worse now. Coffee was tasty and priced right. also got a little truffle that was super tasty.

They were out of bagels. Jesus Christ, these people, if we're ever looking for who's the softest in the land, just go to the French press and we'll find them, I think, here. Jesus Christ, they were out of bagels, so I went for the Caprazi sandwich. I would skip on the paninis. Okay, I guess their padinis aren't good. They were $8, $9 and not worth it, in my opinion. They drizzled sauce on top of the sandwich instead of in it, which made it

tricky to eat. Yeah, because now you're going to get fucking annoying shit all over you. Yeah, that's vinegar and you were destroyed it. Yeah. What the fuck? You know my opinion on greasing up a bun like these restaurants do to make them shiny for fucking Instagram. So this is even worse. This is less functional than that even. Staff

could be a little more friendly slash outgoing. They were pretty straight-faced and dry during my experience. Inside was very clean and a good place to hang out with a great view of the water. Yeah, don't need the place to suck my dick or anything. I don't need people to not be annoyed. They are at their job, man.

As long as they give me what I asked for and they don't like call me names or throw things at me, I'm pretty satisfied with my experience. I assume they're annoyed to be here. That's all. And I would be too if I worked at the French press. Any coffee shop. I can't believe anybody smiles at a coffee shop. People are the most fucking annoying things when it comes to their goddamn coffee.

And they have to be at work at four o'clock in the morning. Yeah. You have me show up somewhere at four o'clock in the morning to take abuse. from grumpy people who haven't had their fucking addictive fix yet. Yeah. I'm going to be... I won't last a half hour. I will not last a half hour.

Excuse me, there's no cinnamon on this. Get on the freeway and get the fuck out of my life. Fuck off. How about that? Maybe you should have brought some. Yeah, maybe you should have brought some cinnamon and maybe try that next time. Alan, two stars. This place has a wonderful location on the marina as part of the Cape Harbor complex and is

nicely decorated. There is a good menu and prices are reasonable, but none of this will carry you if your staff are surly and customers have to guess what happens with orders and food delivery. That seems like a little harsh for two stars, I think. It seems like probably it could have gone three or four on that one. You'd have to guess where your drink was? I don't know. Who cares? Marion, two stars.

We live close by, but don't go very often. It's quite dirty outside. Needs to be power washed. The broken tables are moved to the wall and other table and chairs are old and filthy. they've been broken since we moved here two years ago. See, that's, yeah, the glass in the door has been cracked for over a year. See, these little things, that adds up. They're in a hurricane alley, man.

They're just like, it'll all be destroyed soon anyway at some point. Something's going to fly into this door next August. Yeah, these tables, those aren't the broken ones. Those flew out of the ocean long ago, the last hurricane. It's really too bad that the owners won't provide a better experience for our, for their customers. The coffee is terrible. We bring our own. Bring coffee to a coffee shop.

To a place called the French press. That's not good. I hated the beach. I brought 50 pounds of sand. She brought some sand to put around me. I thought it would be nicer and bring sand from home. Courtney, two stars. Food is good, but customer services.

All caps, terrible. It's terrible. We've been several times, and they've always had bad attitudes. Acting like us eating there is a burden. last time we went cashier said word for word can you hurry up i have a lot to do ah jesus christ i was figure out the fuck you want before you show up here yeah this isn't time square what's what's the line behind you looking like probably not that bad i was stumbling over my order because i have anxiety why would you say that ever to someone i can't stop thinking

about it and it happened a month ago jesus you have anxiety holy fuck imagine that exchange first of all i would have laughed in this person's face if they said that i would have laughed in this person's face if they said that. I would crack up laughing. Wouldn't you? This guy went to work and played the scenario in his head and tried to think of what his quips should have been back. I should have said that. For the

last month he's done that. How hard would you have laughed if someone said that? You hurry up, I have a lot to do it. It'd been like, it doesn't fucking look like it. What else do you have to do? This is a coffee shop. You're making people shit, right? Hey, guess what? You're in luck. I'm about to order some shit for you to make.

Fuck off. What are you talking about? Doug Davidoff had a joke that was the barista said, oh, I'm sorry, I'm really tired. I don't know. Have a coffee, man. Yeah. Only I had some pick-me-up back there. That would help. Wolfgang, one star.

The service is a, I'm going to say, disaster, because he spells it with DE instead of the... Oh, deathaster. Yeah, D-E-S-A-S-T-E-R. Disaster. D-E-S-A-S-E-S-E-A-R. 30 minutes waiting for a coffee. food horrible.

The workers run around without any plan. Terrace outside, very dirty tables. Not worth going there. Here we go. Brianna, one star. If I could give this place a zero review, I would. She got it. A zero review.

That's close enough. This is a stars review. Same thing. Horrible, all caps, service. So a horrible service with five exclamation points. So real bad. Charity is so unbelievably rude. I guess her name is Charity that works there.

They misheard my order as a crepe instead of a capraisy sandwich. Okay. So we asked them to remake it as anyone else would do. And she threw a fit, all caps. She then continued to talk bad about me while I was standing there waiting for my order with the other customers in line. I've never had sick. Can you believe this bitch wanting to say, I was fucking eat the crepe? shut up. She's talking. Wow. I've never had customer service like this before. I spent at least

$60 there for a good breakfast with my family and I am the customer and they treated me like I committed a crime when they misheard me. I committed a crime. Jesus. It's a sandwich, not a $500 item. Most places would just remake it but they scolded me and made me so uncomfortable. You're better off going to any other breakfast. restaurant, you will at least be treated right. Yikes. Grace, one star. 100% would not recommend very rude service.

Starting to sense of theme here. Yeah. If it's not Amanda, you're in deep shit at this place, it sounds like. Charity's going to fuck your day. Oh, she hates you. After getting an order wrong twice, the employees were talking bad with customers and had an awful attitude. If management happens to see this review, your employee charity should be fired.

She's a pain in the ass Hasn't doesn't hear well And she and then gets mad at you for that Charity Yeah No time A horrible attitude and customer service Don't waste your time

Spending money here It's ridiculous Okay Jesus Christ One star from Lisa The girl with the long dark hair And dark eyes is just not a happy person Sounds like charity to me

I don't know I've never seen charity but Based on it She seems miserable the food wasn't good at all even the eggs tasted bad if you have someone in the front please make sure that they're at least personable

we used to love conning here instead of coming here conning here but never again exclamation point Jesus Christ Ryan one star very slow service 45 minute wait for a toasted bagel no exaggeration

you could have toasted it with a bick lighter in less time and it took that could have sat there going like this under it Yeah. Like you're drying out a blunt. Staff is not happy. I guess not. All right.

Terry, one star. I stopped in for the first time on Monday, March 5th. I love it when they start telling me the tale of their life here. It was about 4 p.m. So it wasn't too busy. Oh, boy. I ordered an almond milk latte. Oh, gosh.

The person making it was banging around in cupboards, and I was tempted to ask, are you out of almond milk? but decided to keep my mouth shut. Big mistake. She gave me a latte that tasted funny. I haven't had real milk in so many years that I don't remember what it tastes like, but I know that almond milk comes in so many variations that I just thought it was one of those. Wrong.

I only drank about one third of it and I started feeling sick. I'm lactose intolerant and have been since a young child. I shed everywhere. Oh, I left and got home and proceeded to be violently ill for 36 hours. It's like having the worst flu you've ever had. Jesus. I know what your diarrhea is like, man. We get it.

Wow. It doesn't last 36 hours, though. So when I'm egg poisoned, it's a couple of days. It's fucking crazy. But you like, you shit a few times. This is, I feel like this person's got it coming out of both sides of them. Oh, the shit a few times, though, is violence. Oh, I know it's their aggressive shits too.

I know that they're not like, they're not a sit down, grab, a magazine and relax for a while and scroll on Instagram kind of shit. These are these are elbows on the knees, white knuckle shits. Dragging your feet on the ground to try to gain some semblance of comfort. But the every minute and an hour in between each shit is horrible. It just it's tight pains in your gut. It's miserable. Sounds like it.

Given all the searching, my guess is the barista figured I'd never noticed the difference. Okay. I ordered almond milk for a very good reason. And thanks to you, that's 36 hours of my life. I'll never get back. Yeah, flushed it right down the toilet. Multiple times. Oh, and I'll never be back to your shop either.

We assumed that based on your review. Right, that's what he said. That's kind of, yeah. Rosa one star. The girls and I went there, the French press, on Friday, March, May 29th for brunch. I was the third person to arrive in order. I was the last person served. People came, got fed, and left.

At my table, the girls got their omelets. Does she mean like child girls or like girls trip out? Yeah. I kept asking, where was my one little croissant sandwich? And she kept saying it takes longer to make. Every time she arrived with someone else's omelet at the table, I kept asking her, three times I asked her, longer than the omelet or two or two at my table. granted, I only added a $1 tip for a $4 croissant.

I don't like giving the tip up front for a good reason. Yeah, that's what did it. Yeah. Fuck. Worst service I've ever gotten in my life and I'm 72. Okay. Oh boy. I thought I was going to pass out from hunger.

Calm. No, you were not. Your blood sugar dropped that hard. Calm the fuck down. She has 72, so that's possible. But you're not going to pass out. Saunt. Jesus. Horrible service. Okay. Brianna one star. Do not list something as dairy-free when it is clearly not. You and your staff clearly do not take allergies seriously. My son could have died tonight.

From dairy? We're getting serious. I never expected a death to come from the French press. When we started this, did you think it would take a dark turn? I didn't know that a glass of milk can murk people. Apparently so. Could have died tonight because your staff not only cross-contamination, my son's dairy-free ice cream, but the whole tub by using a scooper she'd been using in the other ice cream. If you tell someone, my son can die, is this okay? And they say, yes, it better have been okay. But it wasn't. Epi-pen later and he's finally better. They had to epipen him. I did not know that lactose was that bad. I didn't know dairy could cause a full peanut freak out. I didn't know. understand that. Educate your staff. I'm going to educate myself now. I didn't know that was possible.

So that said, Jesus Christ, we've been. Let's roll out of here. God damn it. Spammed and nothing worked out there. These people have told us to go fuck ourselves. So we might as well with the personal item of the week, everybody. It's actually not an item. It is a location. Oh.

This is the Chicago Gentlemen's Club. It's called Chicago? Chicago Gentleman's Club is what a It's called. I'll give you one guess of where it is. Ah, is it in Minneapolis? It is in Tijuana. Get out of here.

I swear to God. 414. Av Constitution, Zona, something. I don't know. It's Tijuana. Fucking, you'll find it. It's Mexico.

It's Mexico, Chicago. Follow the trail of vomit in the street from San Diego Torres and you'll find it. Okay. It is open 24 hours, which is dangerous for a strip. Club. Holy shit. Tijuana is just open 24 hours. They are.

Yeah. Tijuana is like Vegas in the upside down world. That's what it is. Like if you flipped Vegas upside down, there'd be Tijuana with shit floating, you know, like. Little slimy trees and shit. Underground city of Vegas. You know there's an underground city in Vegas? I do.

It's basically Tijuana. That's probably what it is. First up from I'm a zombie. Five stars, not going to lie. Every time I go there, there's nobody there, but the girls just relaxing. But the bar's good and the ladies as well. If you're not looking for a supermodel or just skin and bones, if you're up for a fat ugly chick, we got you covered, is what he just said in his own way. Girls are thick and beautiful.

All right, that's good. And no wait for anything. I'm too shy to hook up. but if you're into relaxing with some thick cuties and cheap drinks, this spot's amazing. My buddy says it's better if you're not so shy. Ha, ha, ha. In other words, they'll fuck you if you ask them to. Oh, my God.

That's exactly what he's saying. I'm too shy to hook up. To hook up. But my buddy does it all the time. And he says it's much better if you're not so shy. Wow. He's been dripping since 96 this guy. a continuous case of fucking gonorrhea since that.

But still, Anton, five stars, had a Bernard Ornalt experience? Who's Bernard Arnold? Beats the fuck out of me, some French guy apparently. With two beautiful sisters. I think that means a threesome. He had a threesome. Is that a threesome? Bernie, are you fucking two broads at once?

What are you doing, Byrne? They had on Gucci shoes, prodig. bags and Versacee glasses. Good times. That's it. What does that mean? They were classy. Yeah.

They were fine things. Yeah. They had name brands on. Nigel. They're well made in Mexico. Yeah. Holy shit. Nigel five stars.

I don't think this person understands how the star system works over here. His name is Nigel, so I'm assuming he might be from England or something. Not a lot of American Nigel's running around. Not a lot of Mexican nationals named Nigel. No. No, for sure. This is the worst. He gives five stars, by the way, and says, this is the worst strip club in T.J.

I don't know how y'all stay open. Y'all. I'd never heard of a Nigel using the word y'all. That is wild. And if I heard him say it, I go, your name's Nigel. Stop it. Did Nigel just say y'all? No.

Jose gives three stars. Some ladies have a very bad character and are rude to the waiters and the change. and the change. I don't know what that means, but they're very bad character. I don't know. Hector, three stars. It was one of the best table dances, but the economy is no longer there. It's a shame.

Better times will come. Feels like that was a translation. Okay, Hector. It's definitely translated from Spanish. Yeah, absolutely. Larry, this is not going to be translated. This is straight English. Two stars.

Here we go. Chicago Club used to be a great place. Now, all caps, now, well, the minute you sit down with a lady, the waiters are on you like an army of parasites. Yeah. Yeah, they're trying to get you to buy more drinks and drinks for the girls. Yeah. Yeah, strip clubs, they sit down, they go, you need you buy me a drink? Yeah, that's what they're, then they just sold you a $12.

Right. And she's doing shots of water for a $12. Yeah. She's doing a $12 fucking glass of water. Yeah. Yeah. So the army of parasites, they grab the beer bottles before the girls can finish them. and if you do not buy another drink right away,

a group of waiters comes to your table and tells you that you have to leave. And also, she can't just sit there and drink beer all night. Beer, she's going to be shit-hammered. She's in fucking heels and she's got to go dance. Yes. I guarantee you the owner said if you see the girls drinking alcohol, fucking take it away from them before they're done with it

because then they won't work. Let them take a couple of swigs with this dummy and then fucking yank it from her. I'm bad at work when I'm drunk generally. It's just not a... Not a lot of people are good at it. Not a lot of jobs where they're like, if only you could get a little drunk before you come in,

we feel like you'd probably do better. That's really rare. The only job that is? What's the one job on earth that is? A beer taster? Comedian. Yeah. Comedian's the only job where they're like, okay, yeah,

so let's get you guys some drinks in here before you go out and work. And then take it out there with you on stage and continue. In case you're not buzzed enough, too, just wave down a waitress. She'll bring a right to me. She'll bring you more. Right to the stage while you're talking. It's the only fucking job in the world that you're allowed to do that. Okay.

So they tell you you have to leave. This is rehearsed. They are so hungry for money. Even Hong Kong is not this bad. This guy is a sex tourist. I've been on Asian sex tours. Listen, if anyone knows an Asian sex tour, it's me. And even the back rooms of Cambodia, they're a lot nicer to you this.

This is so weird. I have an eye for lady boys. I can pick them out. I pick them out that. Just like that. Now, even in those places. Even in those places. They're just thankful you're there.

March 2025. Update. They've been back even though they were bad. I got into it with the manager. What? He went back to fight the manager. I got into it with the manager. How about go?

I'm going to go out on a limb here. I'm not a big Tijuana guy. No. I bet there's more than one strip club down there just off the top of it. I think it's all strip clubs and bars, is it not? Pretty much. I've been to Tijuana exactly once, and I'll tell you where the best place in the world to not get into it with anybody is Tijuana. You don't want to get into it.

No. You want to be peaceful. Yeah. Yeah. Or at least you'll have to bribe somebody. Well, unless you have some cash. Yeah. You better be.

Yeah. Flush, though. You better be. Yeah, you got to have some dough. It's expensive. Yeah. It's, fuck, yeah. Yeah.

Bribery of a federal official. is generally pricey. Freedom costs a lot. Freedom ain't free. It does. No, it isn't. I got into it with the manager. Evidently, the business model is pressure.

There's no such thing as service. The waiters are ordered, all caps, to come to your table every three or four minutes and grab your bottles off the table in order to intimidate you to spend money. The girls are bullied by the staff to accept this bad behavior. I'm taking this place off my list, all caps off. I just pictured him cross that one out no

there's no Mexican better business somewhere else that's the problem no that's the problem there is none Stewart two stars this is very simple

go somewhere else this entire review this person two stars no review just two stars that's all the other shit no response from the owner

to all that crazy stuff two stars and no review response from the owner. Oh, we got. You don't give words? I got words. I got words. Good afternoon, sir. Tell me what problem you have in the Chicago. Where can I help you? How do I fix whatever pissed you off? Another two-star review. The owner says, what is your reason for two stars? I need to know. D gives one star. The problem with this place is the management. They just rude, specially, not a special. especially. They just rude, especially a heavy set, dark-looking southern Mexico man. Oh, boy. Southern Mexico, man.

This place I must write is a step up from HK or Korea. Another third world sex, not that Korea is third world, but fucking, you need of Hong Kong either, but another Asian sex tourist. Placing Tijuana in a no visit for several years. I mean, he's not going back. Save my time wisely and visit. Columbia or the Philippines. Jesus. Oh, he is buying women, this guy.

And children. Yeah. One star, another Nigel. What are the odds? It might be the same guy. It's not. Different last name. Different Nigel.

I disliked spending time at this strip club. They had nasty furniture and the counter and floors were sticky. That's the worst. The worst. In a strip club, every surface should be smooth and no stick. That should be the rest. rule. Nothing sticky. Everyone will think it's semen. Whatever the lighting is should

reflect off of every surface in there absolutely. Absolutely. Come on. There is a bare minimum. What is it? Oh, okay. That means I know it's Mexico and I know it's a strip club and I know it's Tijuana, but Jesus, at least clean the jizz off your bar. Get some license of life's in here.

Fuck, man. Robert One Star. I am pretty sure a few people got robbed the other night when I was in here. I know they did. Yeah. It's probably. What do you expect? I can see that happening in this place. It's not clean or a classy place at all. Really?

Tijuana strip club, not classy? I am shocked and offended, honestly. I won't be back. You can't trust Tijuana. Who can you trust? Who can you trust if it's not a Tijuana strip club manager? I mean, I can't imagine. Jacob one star.

The first half of this is all caps. Really? Okay. Americans, please, please, please. stay out of this club. They will steal from you and rip you off. Literally, this is a club for Mexican cartel members. I tried to dispute my charges and two of the scariest looking dudes came out to talk to me.

That's just called a strip club, though. Those are called bouncers, man. Every strip club has guys that will come out and talk to you if you don't pay your bill. That's the way it works. That's just a business. That's called a business. Yeah. I put my tail between my legs and ran, obviously.

This is not a club that you can relax in because every three minutes someone is trying to get money from you. Yeah, it's definitely a strip club. I don't know what these people expect. I don't know what they want. They think they get to just go in there and rub titties for free and walk out? It's just a, yeah, it's the Spam Museum with Titties. That's what they think it is. There's free samples and shit to look at.

Spamples of spitties. So the owner's response from the owner, good afternoon. I would like to know why the rating of one star and what. problem in the club to help you. I think he explained it very thoroughly. And by the way, that review has 25 thumbs up. So other people have experience this as well. Stuart, one star. T.J. is supposed to be nonstop fun. No, it's not. No, it's really. It's pretty nonstop. It's dirty. Yeah. Chicago's does not give you any fun, but instead is a boring overpriced club. all right

Bo one star I didn't feel safe here at all even though just walking through the front door that's how he says it I turned around and left after 15 minutes of looking around

that's he should have bought like four drinks in that time period yeah no shit just came in looked at tits and left 15 minutes of leering at people you fucking weirdo

just enough to keep that in his mind for later on 15 minutes imagine walking in anywhere 15 minutes and just looking around looking around It's not that big.

It only takes a half hour to go through the Spam Museum. How long it takes it takes to go through a Tijuana strip club? What are we talking about here? You walk in, the stages right there. And you just stand and stare, you fucking weird. Leenda, one star. This is on the list of the worst bars in the area. They hire pure tits.

They hire pure tits and dress them up as dancers. Horrible. That's just you just described us. strip club. They hire people with tits and dress them up like dancers and then they dance around. That's the way they were. This is the thing they were going to French Press? I think they thought they were going to see like Chicago, like the musical.

They were like, I've seen no feathers. I haven't seen like those big fans at all. What's going on here? This is ridiculous. A single flapper in this joint. Nothing. Chance one star. My wife and I visited your club Thursday. Okay. I can't with that. Now, it's one thing

for you couples to go to strip clubs. That's cool. whatever you want to do. To take your wife to a Tijuana strip club. You just took both of your lives in your own hands. That's your wife. You're going to take her in that place? Would you want? No, no.

You wouldn't put her in that predicament. That's horrifying. My wife and I visited your club Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. You went three days in a row. Three straight days with the wife. Each time the same Chicago guy working the coin. by Hotel Garcia would bring us to the same server. We are in huge beer drinkers,

but we made sure to tip both the outside guy and our server very well. First two nights were great. And lulled us into a false sense of the journey. Exactly. Here we are. Oh, it's going to be wonderful. On the third night, we asked to be put in a corner booth as not to take up space by the busy stage.

It's like we're giving up the sniffer seats tonight. We're done with sniffers row. We're just going to lay back. We're going to kick it on back there. We'll be respectable people back there tonight. I'm going to finger my wife in a booth and a Tijuana strip club like a gentleman. That's how it's going to work. Well, you all stare at those titties.

I will be dragging my fingers through the okra patch. Jerked off under the old table there. That's a crime and sports reference, by the way, dragged through the okra patch. Bryant-McKinney episode, in case you're interested, that is a man said that. That's how he put going down on women as running through the okra patch. Oh my God. So, Asked our server if the bar sold T-shirts. These people want merch.

I don't want to go home without telling everybody. I've been to the Chicago strip. What the fuck? You and your wife. Yeah, I need it on the back. Do you want to Mexico? I need everybody at Costco in line behind me. To know that I have VD.

Yeah, I need that. I need them all to know that my dick is teeming with parasites. Well, I buy this 10-pound jug of cheese. Bob. God damn it. I have mentioned a special that if we buy a $30 box, the shirt is included. He asked him what was in the box. What's in the box? What's in the box? Brad Pitt works here. He totally does. He told me he wasn't sure, but it was worth it. I'm not sure it's in there, but it's worth it. It's a surprise. When you open it, it's more VD. You're going to love it. It's the value. It's the value. It's the value. You can't. You'll think it's empty, but it's not. Trust me.

It's full of parasites. Gave him $30 plus a $5 tip, and he left to get it. He comes back late, or he comes back later with a bucket of beer. I which he, or I guess he says I which, I think it just means which, which he knew we wouldn't drink since we have told him the two previous nights and hands me a shirt. As he opens a beer, I look at the shirt and see it's a medium. Neither my wife or I will fit into a medium. Oh, boy.

Ask him if he has anything else. he says no we told him i we told him i didn't want it to which he said sorry i already opened the beer okay we saw the corner worker who brought us in and told him he said that was too bad and walked away ah too bad man too bad he's the hawker he's not doesn't have any power it's the guy on the street bringing people in he doesn't have any saying this at all sold me a shirt that doesn't fit and opened beer and made me buy him well tough shit you're in tewana drink him and look at the tities I don't know, running through the ochre patch. See what I care.

We spent close to $600 in your club over those two days and made sure to tip everyone who helped us, but your server decided to screw us over a $30 bucket of tecate. That's beer if you don't know. Update returned to Club Chicago. Really? Why, I don't know, to be checked out by the manager and was told the old manager quit.

The new manager isn't coming to work. What? What? Asked if there was literally anyone in charge I could talk to. I was told no one's in charge. Nobody's... Nobody's... What the fuck? This is Tijuana.

Nobody's in charge. No one's in charge out there, no one's in charge in here. It's all a mess. Wow. Tried giving them the benefit of the doubt and returned on Sunday to be given the same line. My advice is that the tropical bars seems to have really stepped up their customer service skills and companion quality. In other words,

the girls are hotter. This man has been here five times. Five times. And he's talking about other T.J. strip clubs. Go there and you won't be hassled or lied to. Oh, man. I've never gone to Tijuana and was like,

these people are all going to be so honest with me. Oh, it's going to, this is a, I think about it the same way as if you go to Disneyland, really. It's the same thing. It's all the same. They just want me to buy the ears. Okay.

Response from the owner. Yeah. This is amazing. He's trying to bargain with him. Quote, okay, how about the next time you visit the club? I give you three complimentary T-shirts and two drinks for the bad time. I'll give you three shirts, even though there's only two of you. How about that?

Come on back. I'm going to give you so many shirts. So many shirts. Thomas One Star, this is the dirtiest club I've ever been to. I will never spend another dime in here. Okay. I can't believe anybody expects a Tijuana strip. club to be cleanly. I can't believe it. To be anything but disgusting. I don't know what the

fuck you people are thinking. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's end this with a couple of reviews. We'll start one that we'll finish next week here. Let's get ourselves something to eat here. We haven't been able to get anything. The French press, they were rude to us. I've been egg poisoned. We've been egg poisoned. Yeah, we didn't, we didn't want it. We wanted a capraise. We got a crepe. They gave you all the milk, James. All the milk that I don't want. It's disgusting. We didn't get our spam samples. We didn't get our spampals. So, starving. Let's go over here. We're going to the AAA Diner Restaurant. Oh, boy. Not a major league place. Triple A only. I'm going to show it to you, first of all, inside, because it looks

what is that? Depressing. It looks like a basement. It does. It looks. It's gross. It's got that full ceiling and ceiling fans sucked way up high. Real weird. This is in East Hartford, Connecticut. 1209 Main Street, East Hartford. Connecticut, 24-hour diner, which I like. Basic diner with boots and lunch counter serving unfussy American fare, including breakfast. A diner, in other words. This has 3.6 stars on Google out of 1,800 reviews. That's not good for a restaurant.

All right, let's start out with C Gonzalez. Okay, C. Five stars. This used to be our to-go breakfast spot, not go-to. Yes, you do. Breakfast spot for many years. However, over time, it seems like it has gone a bit downhill. Service was friendly.

The food was good. Everything came out in a timely manner. Would not recommend anything but breakfast. Five stars. Wow. That's a generous person right there. Used to be our go-to. Now we don't because it's gross.

Five stars. Five stars. For the work they put it in in the past. Yeah, they're doing it. Jasmine five stars. I just visited this spot last week. We came in late night around midnight after a long flight. from Cali. The atmosphere was super

nostalgic. I love the 80s, 90s vibe. You do. Okay, but this isn't because they've made it retro. It's just they haven't updated it since 1989. Since Max Hedrum was on MTV. No, yeah, they haven't taken that down. They haven't taken the Steve Winwood poster down.

So what do you want? Interesting. Food hit the spot and the staff was kind. We'll be back. Okay. They had corned beef hash and heck, Corned beef hash eggs and hash browns. Yeah, corned beef hash and eggs. Yeah, not bad.

Let's see. One star from Dana. Yeah. D-H-A-N-Y-A-H. Diana? I don't. D-A-N-A-N-A? Whatever you're trying to do, it's not coming across.

Dehana? Fix it to a way we understand what you're saying. Okay. One star went with family, and the establishment was what I would consider empty for a Friday night. We ordered two tuna sandwiches with fries and a fried egg with toast. All in all, the bill came to $90 and change. Holy. I think you get somebody else's bill.

When we asked why the bill was so high, apparently they charged my family a sitting fee. Oh, 50 bucks. A what now? A sitting fee. We noticed that you sat and that cost money. Yeah, I mean, you could eat it out in the parking lot. We have a, that's a pre-section. You chose to sit.

You're welcome to eat in your car. That's fine. Did you see the reviews? This used to be somebody's two-go place. Oh, wait, hold on. I didn't notice what else you used here. We're going to have to, that's actually $94. We forgot to charge you the silverware fee.

So I apologize. We're going to have to get that. Oh, you used a straw? Okay, 96. Shouldn't have put your fat ass in here. That's what happens. It's tearing up our chairs. That's what it was wearing tear.

It's our wear and tear fee. Wear and tear on my shit. So not only was the food mediocre and the fries were overdone, in other words, perfect. Unbelievable. Don't dare. Fucking complain about overdone fries. But we had to pay to sit in their torn leather benches that they've had since the 70s. That's hysterical.

I've never heard of that before in a diner. Like I grew up in the East Coast as a teenager. You'd go to diners. You'd sit there with a soda and smoke three packs of cigarettes. And they didn't charge you anything extra. You paid $1.50, you know? Yeah. That's it.

Do not get ripped off. This place makes McDonald's seem like a five-star restaurant. Not to mention, you can sit and enjoy a meal at McDonald's for free. Right. Never again. That's a good point. Sitting fee. I've never heard of that anywhere.

That's the way to start jacking tips up. Fuck, yeah. We did notice you sat to eat. So, you know. You know, I got to charge you for that. Eight in one star went for my graduation dinner and it ruined my entire. night. Aiden.

There was no joke an aunt in my food. An aunt. An ant. A bug. The woman serving us seemed annoyed when I asked if they could remake it. Then they remade it wrong and the burger was honestly disgusting. They also still charged me for the burger even though there was a bug in it. Now you're going to pay for two burgers.

You're lucky you didn't sit down. Forget about it. That burger would have cost you $70, $80. bucks. Aiden, we waived the sitting fee for you. That's what we did for you, sir. That's free. So you did sit here. Didn't catch the waitress's name, but she was absolutely awful and made us close out

early so she could get her tip. Never coming. I'm leaving, so I really want to get, wow, that's not good at all. That means their waitresses are really poor if they need every tip right now. Because you'd be like, oh, I'll get that on my next shift. A lot of them are credit cards that, you know, all that kind of shit. And I've been a poor waiter before, but that's another extent. I'm not going to say, I'm leaving, so I'm going to check you out early.

I'll stay to get that tip if I want it that bad, you know? It's shift change, so pay up. So pay up. Joe, Johanerses. Whoa, that's a crazy name. One star. Sigh. They're starting an out with a sigh.

Sigh, where do I begin? The waiters seem to be under. some influence. Yeah, it's called drugs. They're diner waiters. That's what happens. They're fucked up. They're fucked up.

Yeah, every waiter is. They're probably on heroin. I've never served a plate not fucked up. So, you know what? That's the tracks. The food came out wrong and tasted nasty. The chef wasn't making 75% of the menu because he didn't want to and they were getting rid of him, says the waiter.

He doesn't want to. You can only order limited shit because he doesn't want to make that. Doesn't feel like it. Wow. That's wild. The place was dirty and sketchy. I thought my Coke tasted weird. Upon reading the reviews, I realized they gave me Diet Coke.

Right. God forbid. You can tell by the carbonation, much less. You can't tell by the fucking taste. I've taken drinks and been like, well, I'll throw that out because that's fucking diet. And that's disgusting. Well, regular diet, you can look at them in the light and see what's different. Yeah, it's very obvious.

You can sniff them. You can smell them and go, this is bullshit. Yep, this is garbage. This has a chemical thing that I don't want, even though the other thing's full of chemicals too. But a different chemical. Yeah. They added extra things we didn't get to our bill

and tried to charge us a $10 gratuity fee. No, that's a sitting fee. It's called a sitting. You don't get it. Our bill was $58 and we only had two burgers and fries. That seems like a lot. That's steep. That's very steep.

They were arguing in the kitchen and literal plates were being thrown and shatters and shattered. Our waiter quit right in front of us. That's awesome. You got dinner on a show, man. Dude, if I go somewhere and there's plates, fuck you in the kitchen and the waiter's like, I fucking quit, man, and throws down his book.

I am clapping and saying, this is great. More, more, more, more. Don't stop now. No. You got another waiter? Let's have him fight the cook out here. Come on. I want to see something.

He's quitting anyway. That is awesome. The waiter quit right in front of us. Don't go here. Worst restaurant experience in my life. That sounds great. I don't even care if the food's terrible. The show is worth it.

I'll stop at McDonald's on the way home. Who gives a shit? Encore. Encore. All right. Let's do a couple more here. Jake, one star. Wow.

So we've started out with both wow and sigh. Yeah. So that's good. Stopped here late last Friday, only because Vernon Diner was already closed. Okay. What a dump. Wow. By the way, on the East Coast, people have their diner that they go to, and they hate all the other diners.

It's a weird thing. You go to that. I play sucks. I used to go there, but that's shit. Now you've got to go to this one. It's insane. People are so weird here about diners. After midnight at a diner, I expect the server to be stoned. There you go. Yeah. Yeah, you should. But the cloud of pot smoke, right by the front doors isn't exactly welcoming. It's not? I go, I think I'm home. If it's by the front door, get inside if you don't like it.

Get inside. Yeah, I bet there's also exhaust out there. There could be a raccoon that's going to bite. Yeah, there's lots of stuff outside that you might not like. It's Connecticut. There's a wild life. Probably why the restaurant's in there through the doors. So so far, you get a free cloud of weed.

They have burgers. People fight and break plates and quit right in front of it. This place is awesome. And the chef is telling everybody in the restaurant, the quote-unquote chef. You can't. I'm not making that. Yeah. I'm not, I make 25% of this menu tonight.

Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you out of, no, no, we're not out. I'm just not making it. We have everything back here. It's in the fridge. I'm just not getting it for you. Nor are the broken glass doors, which from reading other reviews here seem to have been broken

for some time. What is it with these restaurants and broken glass doors? The French press is the same problem. My friend and I sat down and started to look over the menu. The server came and asked us for our drink orders. I asked for Coke. No Coke only Diet Coke. So we both ask for Sprite.

Server returns a few minutes later and tells us no Sprite. We got water. We could have orange juice, tap water, or bottled barks root beer. Jesus, that's a terrible choice. Yeah, it's the middle of the night, so I'll probably take the root beer here, I think, is what I'm going for, rather than orange juice at two in the morning. We left instead and went to the Denny's on Flatbush. At least you know they have Coke, probably. Sadly, it seems like the best thing that could happen to this place is a good insurance policy and a careless smoker.

Yikes. Burn it to the ground and collect the insurance. It's over. Holy balls, man. Keep your insurance policy updated because I'll be back. I'm going to be back. I'll be smoking out front. Don't you worry.

Kimberly One Star, don't go here. We just left there and I ordered steak fajitas. I'm feeling sick to my stomach. God. My brother ordered spaghetti and meatballs at a diner. What a fucking menu. Yeah. Jesus.

Every diner, by the way, has everything that's ever been made. It's unbelievable. Yeah. And somehow, like a good diner, they somehow make it all pretty good. They do it well, yeah. But not really sauce. Let's keep the spaghetti. You got fajitas, disco fries, and spaghetti?

No. That's a real weird fucking order. spaghetti meatballs and it was awful and we sent it back and got an egg sandwich that cost $10 but that's not the price on the menu. Apparently they overcharge you for that too. They just charge you whatever they feel like for shit. They take a look at you and you go, hey, $66. You're being a picky cunt about spaghetti and meatballs.

The egg sandwich is $10 tonight. You ordered spaghetti and meatballs at an East Hartford diner. What do you want? Yeah. Find somewhere else to go. Ridiculous. The place was empty, not a car in the park. lot I should have known. That's also a bad sign.

Right. Diner should be hopping. There should be people moving in and out or else it's not good. Clout gives one star. This place has terrible service. The lady that serves there is ugly. Oh my God. At least you didn't quit midway through your meal. She's ugly. She's ugly. She's ugly. That's hilarious. And the food is nasty and not cooked well. Even something as simple as making toast is complicated for them. Only come here if you want to spend a lot of time in the restroom. Okay.

And then finally we'll do Derek one star. Tried to cheat me out of part of my meal. What? They picked it up before you were done? Grabbed it while you got a mouthful. Enforce the mandatory 20% tip and give change as if they expect more.

When again, didn't give me everything I paid for. Okay. I'm very confused. This place is a nightmare. They decide when you're done. That's right. We'll do one more because Derek, I'm confused. I don't want to leave on a confusing note.

This is a longer one, but we'll do it anyway. Natalia, one star. My mom has been to this place for years, and as a little kid, my parents would take me here and I loved it. I'm now 16, and my parents and siblings decided to go eat there. We ended up leaving before we fully walked into the restaurant. So this is a long review based on not even eating there, which is pretty awesome.

Yeah, it didn't even go in. When we stepped into the restaurant, the glass door that was next to the ATM was shattered on the right door and the whole place was empty. My parents found that suspicious and noticed no one working at the counters and the electronics were down. So no like POS system or anything. We only saw one woman come out from the kitchen doors and was just looking at us for a moment before trying to look busy. Oh, I got stuff to do. Was she ugly? Is it that one?

We don't know. It's very disappointing that the last owner sold this. restaurant to random people who seem like they can't even clean up after themselves at home. Right. I have read every review of the experience, there's like 1800, Jesus, with the food, and I can tell you that the food wasn't like that when I was little. Overall, I agree with some saying that they should be re-inspected considering they failed their previous inspection.

Oh, why did you go back? That's what I mean. You know they failed or at least put in a word about this place to shut it down. All good things that change into crappy things might as well not be there if no one is even going there. AAA has been ruined after all these years of memories. All these years. So we'll stop it there. There we go.

And we will call it a day here on your stupid opinions. It's all ruined. And we will find out what rises from the ruins and wreckage next week when we finish up AAA diner. And we got some other stuff. There's a lot more like angry shit to come to. People are real pissed off. So that'll be a lot of fun. Definitely tune into that next week and also follow on social media.

Rate and review on whatever app you listen to this on. Don't know why, but it really helps drive you up the charts. Helps people notice the show. So that's good stuff. Do that. Post on social media. Listen to crime and sports in small town murder. Do that.

Keep coming back and seeing us every damn week. And until next week, we will see you then, everybody. Bye.