Your Stupid Opinions - Shakedown Buffet, Totally Garbage Service, The Thief You know

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for tourist trap buffet, where the price seems like a bargain, but the food isn't what it should be, and water costs as much as it does at the airport. A garbage collection company that leaves people yelling at trucks, that are driving away from them, while wallowing in garbage. A parking lot with a VERY specific thief, running around & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section! Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey. Hey, thank you so much for joining us here, where we listen to people's bullshit and hear their complaints about things we're probably never going to experience and from people will never meet. It's amazing. And that is what makes it so much fun because none of it matters.

It's just a good time. And we're here to have a good time. My name is James Petrigal. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman And we are ready to get started Before we do though Head over to shut up and give me

Murder.com If you want to know anything about any of our other shows Anything merchandise tickets for small town murder live shows That is us central So check that out If you want to know any other

Bullshit about us If not then just listen And don't worry about it So there you go Oh listen to crime and sports Listen to Small Town Murder Those are our other two shows They're exactly what they sound like

Except funny So get in there check them out. Otherwise, we're going back to Baton Rouge, everybody. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Let's see why our garbage

isn't getting picked up and find out why the raccoons have gathered and things are getting a little worrisome. So we left off with a lot of people just saying that

I signed up for the service. Yeah. They said they'd come on Tuesdays. It's been three weeks. I am living in garbage. It chose them not to come over you. Yeah. I'm living in just piles of garbage.

with pictures of here's my garbage. Tuesday's come and gone. Multiple Tuesdays have come and gone. It's always Wednesday, and it's still, no one's picked shit up. So let's find out with Thomas with one star and see what goes on here. Okay.

Again, April 12th, leaving trash out in the highway. Again, problem, March 15. The metal, oh, it's got to be, they mean M-E-T-A-L, but they spelled it M-E-D-A-L. like they won the Olympics. Like they bronzed in the 100 meter fucking relay or some shit. Both are very hard materials, however.

Yeah, metal is made from a kind of metal. It's alloys and shit, I know. I don't know. Bronze isn't, you know. So the metal broke on the trash bin. The trash pick didn't empty all the trash, so I dumped the rest on the side of the highway, which is waste pro responsibility.

I'll leave it right here for you. Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face. You're like, I will live with garbage all over my yard because it's your responsibility, even though you're not going to pick it up. I left it out there for you. You may come pick it up whenever you like. Whatever you like.

It's your responsibility. For leaving trash, whoever is working, the route is not doing their job wrong there. Of course, as you would expect. They had the wrong medal for Christ. This is the second time that WastePro use a garbage pickup has damaged the garbage bin. Wow. Yeah, my bin is fucked up.

Everybody says. That's their problem. I keep putting it out there. And if one of these times it breaks while he's picking it up, he's going to have a bigger mess to deal with. Sometimes they break, and then you've got to get another one. Yeah. We melted ours and set it on fire by accident. That was a problem.

And so that was a big melted pile of plastic that they had to come pick up as an extra piece of garbage. So that was ironic. Okay. I guess now we will have to toss the trash on the side of the road for them to pick. That's not. They're not going to pick it up like that, bro. No, they won't. No.

The crew is very careless and leave the garbage bin on the highway. And this time they toss it on the side and damage it. And he's showing it's, you know, the bins. with the lid that comes up. And it's like, back with the, it's like leaning on the lid. The lid's like a,

like a, like a stand for it. Against the wall? Oh, just standing out in the road. Yeah. Where the lid's like a little stand for it. And it shows the metal piece

that's like the handle that you pull it with, the bar there. That's been like broken out of its slot. Yeah, mine, I fix mine every week. All that's for is to keep the,

the bin from crushing. Yeah. Pick it up. That's what that does. So, picking it several times breaks that and knocks it loose. That's all. That's it.

So what they've chosen to do is leave it laying in the street. Yeah. To show them, you know, to rub their nose in it, basically. Like, look at what you've done in the carpet and they're rubbing the Waste Pro's, but they don't give a shit. They just drive by this garbage can and don't care. All you got to do is call them and they'll come give you a new one. That's funny. And then the Waste Pro ownership right back at you.

Hi, Roy. Well, hello there. It's almost always the same exact thing as they say, customer feedback's important to us at WastePro. Unfortunately, we're not able to locate you as a customer. It's what they say to everybody. That's their excuse up. Sorry.

Don't care how bad of a job we do. Yeah. Meanwhile, he's got a garbage can out front with Waste Pro written on the fucking side of it. And it's like, it's obviously he's clearly a customer. Amazing. So Laura, one star. Waste Pro has not picked up two of my garbage cans since Hurricane Ida, almost a month ago.

Wow. That's rough. They have come out and picked up one can, leaving the same two cans every time they've been out since the hurricane. At this point, the garbage, and even the outside of the can, is covered in maggots.

Oh, gross. Ow, what? You don't get that in Arizona. On the East Coast, when it's hot and steamy, like if it rains in the summer, it's like 85 degrees and it's raining at night, my garbage can will have maggots all over the top of it.

outside of it. It's fucking disgusting. It's absolutely disgusting. It's horrible. All of this, all of your hemming and hoeing is not, is all warranted. It's all warranted. I don't know how they, how do they survive? Because like they're, those things are built to be inside something.

They're all because it's like hot and wetting all over it. In Arizona, everything, people are going, what, you don't have that in Arizona? No, you don't because everything is dried and sinned. They would be dried little nothings. They'd be little scabs. That's it. They'd be totally shit out of luck. They would look like those brine shrimp that you get for fish.

They'd come back to life. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think flies can survive out in that weather either. It's too hot. It's just too hot. That hot and dry. They got high, right? Yeah, it's rough.

That's why you have less flying things in Arizona. Although now it's getting more human. You're starting to get more flying things. But it's still pretty goddamn hot. And the summer, early fall is when those things are out. Like the front of your car is fucked up going down freeways around that time. But summertime, wash it, babe, and haul balls because you're not going to hit anything except for rocks. Your car will be covered in dust by the time you get wherever you're going with.

That's a whole other issue. Dust and your windshield will be fragments. Yeah. Oh, by the way, enjoy buying new windshield wipers twice a year. You'll only need them twice a year. Every time you need them, you won't use them once. Every time it rains, you will have to get new windshield wipers because they have dried to shit and will fall apart when you turn them on immediately. Both times that it rains when you turn your windshield wipers on, they just explode into so many pieces.

And then it goes and the arm drags on your fucking glass. And that's how it works. It's fun. Carves a little rainbow into your windshield. In New York, you have windshield wipers for 10 years, the same pair. Really? Because it's moist. It doesn't fuck them up.

It rains all the time. Use them. All right. The blade is gone the first. Oh, gone. It disintegrates. It's just gone. It just comes right on.

I have repeatedly called and repeatedly been told that they would come out and get it for weeks at this point, yet they still haven't come. I was told there's a note in the system that the cans are, quote, too heavy. Oh. Too heavy. What are you talking about? It's goddamn garbage pick. You have a machine. These aren't like, they don't send old men out there to do it.

Yeah. It's hydrolyics. They don't send grandma out to go pick up a can and throw it in the back. When they're not even full, pictured below. I emailed Jesse Murphy. Oh, well, I mean, Jesse will take care of it. We all know Jesse Murphy, right? Everybody?

I mean, everyone out there is listening. You call Jesse Murphy when you have a problem, right? I emailed Jesse Murphy, who told me they would come get them yesterday, and as of this morning, the trash is still there. I'm being told I cannot get a credit for the time they have not picked up my trash because they have serviced one can. So technically, I'm not. quote, being serviced.

You've been taken care of. Serviced is what she's getting serviced. Right in the ass is where she's getting serviced. They're leaving nasty garbage out in front of her house. Oh, you can see the maggots in the can too. Yeah. Oh, no. I mean, it's not even all the way full, and they, for some reason, will not pick it up.

So do not use this company. Terrible customer service. Right. There we go. And here's another Morgan one star. Another picture of two full garbage cans sitting in front of a, a grander. gravel road. All of these are on a gravel road, which I'm really getting worried about you, Baton Rouge. Do you guys need pavement? Do we need to send you guys blacktop? Like, what do you

need? We'll send it. I bet it doesn't stick around long, right? There's pavement in lots of places that are hot. There's definitely streets in Baton Rouge, right? Yeah, and Phoenix, a lot of pavement. Hot as fuck. They can pave. This is crazy. Get paved, guys. This is just, this is just lazy, I feel like. I just mean like the, the, if you pave roads there, does it crack easy? Does it separate? Because everything's underwater, right? Possibly the East Coast, it freezes, it breaks, and then you fix the goddamn roads. That's, they're not good forever. You have to fix them. These people just say, no, we're going to have to fix it then if we, if we put roads in. Just leave the dirt. Yeah, when it rains, we'll just fix it some other time.

It'll be muddy and that's fine. Yeah, it's crazy. So this person, yeah, this is the second week I've had this company and they have yet to pick up my trash. I was standing outside while they were picking up my neighbor's trash, and I asked the worker, is my garbage can find where it is? Since they didn't pick it up last week, the guy looked at my husband in his face and said, yes, it's fine. We walk back inside, and then they leave without picking up my trash. In his face. In his face. Well, why'd you go inside? I just sat there until they picked up the trash, wouldn't you? Yeah. Talk to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Don't go away. No, no, no, no, no, no. Over here. Come here. Come here. Um, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Lily, one star. Pulled a cable line down, never reported it, then left me to deal with the aftermath while claiming they didn't do it. Oh, we, love us. The aftermath of not being able to watch Jeopardy tonight. Right. Was actively lied to by multiple employees. I don't know what else is on TV anymore. I don't know.

The hell the last time I watched cable was 10 years ago. I don't know. So by multiple employees, about even servicing our air. including the lie that they cut service to my neighbors, who I then got to call and confirm that they are still servicing their house. Whoa. Two eyewitnesses. Okay.

We got an eyeball witness? Oh, my God. This is, pick up my garbage can. We're talking about eyewitnesses like it's a fucking murder trial now. This is crazy. I have an eyewitness. Wow. Two eyewitnesses, but waste,

claims they hold no responsibility. Honestly considering calling the police. Don't call the police. Waste their time with this shit. Louisiana is one of the highest murder rates in the fucking country. The police are busy, okay? Leave them the fucking alone. I assure you is on the top of that list.

There's a million cops with a million murders and you pay no taxes. Stop calling the cops. Shut up and stop calling. Stop it. him alone about the trash. Unless the fucking trash man rapes your husband in front of you, I don't want to hear you calling the police. This is the, call the cable company.

They'll deal with who took your line down. This is crazy. Start with the cable. Start low and then work your way up to the cops. Assume they're busy. I'm going to call the cops about this. The cops. You know what the, we have a response from the owner.

Uh-oh. Thank you for reaching out and bringing this to our attention. We are unable to locate you in our database as a customer. and without any content in the review or not able to assist you further. Fuck off, Lily, is what they just said. That's great. Eat dicks, Lily.

Barry, one star. They pick up when they want to, which may be on your normal collection day, the next day, or not at all. Probably not. You never know. The customer service is friendly on the phone. It would have to be if you're fucking people over.

When you're fucking people, you're friendly to them. You don't want them to run away. Generally, yeah. But doesn't actually do anything to get your garbage picked up. If you have any other options, use other options. Use the others. Use the others here. Okay. And then they just tell them,

unfortunately, we cannot locate you as a waste pro customer as the response. It's every single one. Unfortunately. Sorry. You're not in the system. That's so funny. It's the only response they do. So apparently the person puts it up. They look them up in the system.

If they can find them, they don't respond. But if they can't, then they go, no, sorry, you're not a customer. And that's wild. Tracy, one star, you all, not even y'all, you all. She's really pissed. She broke that shit in the two words in Louisiana. That's mad. Yeah.

You all miss our neighborhood three to four Tuesdays a month. You have a huge problem. I'm not complaining to, or I've been. complaining to the supervisor and our metro council for three years. Nothing changes. Have you considered calling the police? Maybe if enough of you call the police for some reason, they'll work it out. One star, Richard, quite possibly the worst service company I've ever used, consistently

late and non-responsive. Many requests for pickups never responded. We even have a video of a driver taking the leak behind the dumpsters. Yes. What? Taking a leak behind the dumpsters. Wow. He got out to take a piss.

Wow. We 12 communities and will never use them again. Do not use them, all caps, three exclamation points. Taking a leak behind the dumpster is wonderful. That's great. I'm going to tell you, I've worked for the power company. They used to give us portable urinals that were rubber bladder bag things that have like jelly. inside, but the gel is like a powder substance. And when you piss on it, it hardens the piss so

that when you're done, you put the little cat back on it. And now it's just a sleeve of like gelatin. It's crazy. That's the, that is the biggest waste of money I've ever heard of my fucking to get rid of piss, which we've been doing pretty efficiently as a people for a long time. Yeah. And you're making, you're making a liquid into a solid, basically. And then you can throw it in your trash bag on your truck. Okay. In order to do that, you still have to, like the idea was to solve all these guys like that. Guys have to piss if they're working outside.

You still need a private area to whip your dick out and put it in this thing is the problem. You still have to have your dick out. So if you're in an enclosed area, find one of them that has a toilet bowl and use that. Well, the guys would just open their door and then piss into the bag, hidden behind the door. But all it does is stops the piece. stream onto the ground. Instead, you're catching it and then taking it with you.

Hey, Arizona. Why is my electric bill $700 a month? This is why. They're spending money on special piss bags for... They have portable pisses. Thousands of employees have portable... You know what the fuck? That's all in your bill, everybody.

All of it. Yeah, you ever even heard of that? What do you think those cost? Those are probably three bucks a bag, right? Jimmy not showing up for four. years, piss bags piling up. You're paying for all of it. All of it. But I wasn't pissing in the bags for six years.

That's true. Yeah, they were just, but I'm sure they were like assigning you a new couple of piss bags every day. You probably had a mountain of piss bags when you went back there. Jimmy hasn't been using any of his piss bags, but we've been giving them to him. But when they get real hot, they pop. Oh, even better. Now it's solid piss particles every day.

It's not, it's, it's jelly that comes out. Piss jelly. It's like, it's yellow jelly. Oh my God. That's grosser than piss. It looks like marmalade. Piss is way less gross than that. Piss dries up and goes away in Arizona in two seconds.

This is now going to stick around sounds like forever. That doesn't even sound biodegradable. That's just going to sit there. Oh, God. That's what I did it. Wow. All right. Well, Ashley, one star.

This company is very unprofessional. The service is poor. They miss your trash, and you have to call multiple times before you even get service. You have to call your mayor slash city council before you can even get results. But it's a private company. What the fuck does the city council have to do with them performing? Caught police, not the council. Yeah, call the cops, man.

One star, worst company ever, says Braden. Yeah. Trucks drive down the road in the neighborhood and, never pick up trash. Then why are they going out? They're just going out, cruising? That's not true. Just cruising. Not even doing it. Who wants to drive a trash truck? That's a, yeah, just for fun. Shits and getting, joyriding, joyriding the trash truck. Checking out the lady joggers. Oh man, you have your friend jump up on the top of it, pretend he's surfing. You know, it's a good time. I have all this on video and we'll be contacting Channel 2, new.

News. Okay, now we have a... Channel 2's getting involved. We have a new fucking someone to be accountable to. It's the cops, the mayor, and Channel 2. Channel 2. Channel 2. FYI, this happened more than five time.

More than five time. You know that's... You can just hear it. Aaron, finally. Last one here. One star. Awful. Trash pickup doesn't always happen.

I don't know why. That's funny. The way she put that. It doesn't always happen. Like it Not always Like a storm happens You know what I mean

Like things like that happen Is not people coming Intentionally to pick your garbage up with a truck It's just funny We live at the end of a dead end So they turn around in our driveway And still miss us Oh that would piss me off

If I saw them turning around Driving within two feet of my garbage cans And then leaving I'd be very upset with that as well Making a U-turned in my driveway And leaving my can I would be livid Oh my God

constantly spilling out disgusting liquid in our driveway. Well, that's piss probably. Probably pissed behind the truck. That's trash juice. That's disgusting. Or garbage man piss, as we found out. They don't have little bags to put them in. Piss marmalade.

And they don't come clean it. Well, yeah, the garbage company doesn't come and do anything. They just pick up garbage and leave shit behind. You never met at work? They made Emilio and Charlie brush out the trash can at the end of the day. It was at the end of the day. Oh, God. Doing the nasty.

Doing the nasty. And then I just screamed nasty. Nasty. Oh, that looks so gross. But they somehow made garbage manning look fun. You know what I mean? When they're high-fiving with trash lids. When I was nine, I was like, I mean, worst-case scenario, that doesn't look that bad.

You know what I mean? Like, probably do that. It looks fine. They're bowling with trash cans. That's awesome. They're finding shit out there. Like an apartment. You got a BB gun.

They could afford a pizza. That all looked. appealing to me as a nine-year-old. I was like, that seems fine. You killed him. This is the guy shot in the ass with a pellet gun. With a pellet gun. I love that movie.

All right. Well, speaking of garbage, yeah. Let's go to a buffet in Canada that's a real piece of shit, apparently. Oh. Yeah, let's go here. Okay, this is Allmax buffet, it's called. Yeah.

Or Al-M-M-A-L, but it's all one word. A-L, then capital M-A-C-S. So, Al-M-M-A-S. buffet here. It is in 5435 Ferry Street in Niagara Falls, Ontario. So that side of the border Niagara Falls. This is, oh boy, spacious long-running eatery offering all you can

eat comfort foods for breakfast and dinner. That sounds great. Yeah. But it has three stars. Oh, no. Out of 6,700 reviews. People hate this place. I think, yeah, the word is out. Like, the people have spoken. Three stars out of that many reviews, you suck. It's not good.

Not good. 10 to 20 Canadian dollars per person, which is, I think, what, a dollar 50 American, maybe, something like that. No, I'm kidding. I think it's like 75 cents on the dollar or some shit. So do your math. You might be getting better now, too. Yeah, who the fuck knows. Jana or Yana, either way, five stars.

We had an excellent experience at this All You Can Eat buffet. we arrived right at 3 p.m. And they just switched to dinner meals. Everything was fresh and warm. That's probably lucky if you get there right at the right time. We received excellent service. The food was absolutely amazing. You cannot go wrong with $25.99 per person.

Okay, well, the restaurant's gone up. Well, this is hilarious. You can't go wrong with $2599 per person when every other restaurant nearby charges. What do you think I'm going to say? 4599. 27 to 28. $3.

$3.00. It's $25.99. That's $27. So the other restaurants charge $27. That's crazy. A dollar or two. That is amazing per meal. There were many choices.

Soups, salads, entrees, barbecue outside, fish, ribs, steak, lasagna, fries, fried calamari, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Absolutely recommend this place on your next visit to Niagara Falls. And there's a picture and it looks pretty fucking good from what I'm looking at right here. Yeah, the picture looks fine. And like I said, if you get there right when they put it all out fresh, I'm sure.

These are like there's nothing taken out of it. Like they're all, the trays are brand new. Every one of them. But it looks nice. I see even the ribs don't look terrible. I mean, it's a picture. I'm sure they're terrible. but fried calamari looks good, fries, salads.

Can't be good, no, no, that's got to be an illusion of some kind, some kind of Canadian illusion there. Probably, yeah. Captain S.K., four stars, had the breakfast buffet for $12.99. Okay, and it was a good value for the price. While the breakfast options were not huge, everything was decent and satisfying. Coffee and drinks are charged separately.

The restaurant also has plenty of parking. available, which was very convenient. That's great. I mean, they've got to have parking there. Kevin, three stars, positives. The breakfast option is decent priced. Okay. Food is mid to average.

I would recommend the sausage. Oh. Okay. Downside. They charged so much for water and other drinks. They charge for water? It's got to be a bottle of water. It better be.

I'm not paying for a glass of tap water. Fuck, no. That's not happening. No. And other drinks. Their maple syrup was very disappointing for Canada. For Canada. For Canada.

You expect Canada. They all have a local, you know, some guy in a mounty hat just brought it in from the field, you're thinking, from the forest. Fresh maple syrup, eh? He came in the door and just got there in the morning every day. Dwight knocks the snow off his boots, the snow and the moose dung off his boots and fucking walks in there with his syrup. Okay, let's see. Loud, but you can still talk. Okay, that's good.

Cheryl, two stars. Food was just okay. Oh. Not really hot. Everything was sticky in the whole place. That's what it seems like. There's two kinds of buffets, good ones and sticky ones. And yeah.

That sticky buffet is a bad news time. No good. A sticky buffet is scary because what is it? It's, yep, that's, they took the same dirty rag and keeps wiping the same spot. Yeah, and wiped everything all day. Yeah, where it's always gets sticky again. It's just, it's not good. Yeah.

Yeah. From dirty dishes to sticky silverware and condiments bottles. Yeah. No. Not a fan at all. It has wheelchair accessible and kid friendly, but you're taking a chance. You bet. So, yeah, if you want to have more health problems besides whatever put you in the wheelchair,

this is the place to come. It sounds like. A return trip today, bad idea. Hair in my eggs and a $4 water. What is this? The ballpark? The airport? That's $4 is an airport water.

$4 water. That's literally what I paid at LaGuardia Airport last week when I flew in fucking Milwaukee for a live show. I paid $4 for a fucking water. $4 for, wow. No. I paid $5 for a Coke at my hotel. And it was free refills. And I did that all weekend.

Yeah. I'm keeping this glass, okay? I'll be back. I'll be using it. Nice manager, but waitress was actually hilarious. Staff is always, and then a A-OK sign. So they like the staff, but they don't like their hair being in their food, apparently. No, that's not good.

Micas, Micas, two stars. Price range is good. But even for kids who is not eating, you have to pay for it. For kids who is not eating. Who is not eating. We don't have problem paying, but the thing they don't even eat. Like if they ate, we'd pay, but these bitches ain't eating shit. They're not hungry.

Bacon is way too salty and greasy. Yes, bacon. That's just a statement on bacon. Do you mean their bacon or bacon in general? I think that's why we like it because it's salty and greasy. Pancakes too hard. French toast is soaking oil. Soak in oil

Soak in oil French toast is soak in oil Okay We'll never go back to this place Yeah I guess so Now is this bacon Canadian bacon Which is ham

Or bacon Right or is it American bacon Yeah Soke in oil Which is either way greasy I would think Raquel one star Absolutely terrible place

That's fun We go every time When we go to Niagara Falls What? Okay What? Talk about incongruous fucking first two lines. Why are you so mad at you?

Absolutely terrible place. We go every time we're here. We have to go, even though it's terrible. It's fucking awful. I like to punish myself. But this time, we were extremely disappointed. The roast beef was really hard and dry. Yeah, there's a picture, by the way, of the roast beef.

There's some potatoes next to it, which look to have rosemary on and looks to be roasted. rosemary potatoes, which I'm a big fan of. We got a Caesar salad, I see on the plate, which looks decent, has a good amount of dressing on it. Groutons look decent. But the meat, it's, wow. It's, it's brown. It's gray.

It's a gray. It's a gray. It's a gray. Okay. You remember how in the 80s, like in the mid 80s, like there's a bunch of like an aha video. everything's like gray and pink. Like there's grays and pinks. Like chicks wore pink and everything was gray.

Mix 80s gray and 80s pink together on a fucking easel or a palette, whatever that is. And that's the color of the meat. It's the only way I can describe it. It's not good at all. It's shiny but not in a juicy way. Which is also bad. I don't like that. The price for drinks is ridiculous.

who is paying $4.99 for a soda. Yeah, that's airport prices again. It's absurd. Ballpark prices. And when I paid the waitress, or when I paid, I'd love a fucking comma here. That would help. When I paid the waitress got mad that I didn't give her a tip when every time she would come to the table to pick up the used plates, she wanted us to hand it to her. Oh, she doesn't pick it up.

You got to hand it to her. So that means she gets no tip because you had to go from here to here. Right. You had to lift you. Because you didn't pick it up. I picked it up. I picked my plate up four inches and handed it to you. Then you carried it all the way back in the kitchen, took that big water blaster,

knocked the chunks of fucking... He did all that other shit. Yeah. But I brought it from here to here, though. So no tip for you. Your whole income is fucked because I did that. I went here from there to there. Assholes.

Definitely disappointed and will never be returning. You shouldn't return to any restaurant. Close don't come back. Non-tipping twats. Don't you feel good when you tip people? The fact that I can, number one, and the, yeah, and the fact that I probably tip more than I should. Yes. Another.

Absolutely. And I feel like I'm thanking them properly for doing an excellent job. They all, I rarely get bad service. No, it's super rare to get bad service. Normally, service is pretty good everywhere you go. And even if it's not, you kind of take it as comedy. and then you tip the person anyway because you go,

maybe they'll get better. You know what I'm saying? Who knows? You don't know people if having fucking bad days. You don't know what the hell happened. You know if they have a kid that was up all night.

You have no idea what's going on with people. And I waited tables forever and I knew every day you weren't the same. You know what I mean? Sometimes you're a little off or you never know.

You're distracted. You're a little too stone. Whatever the case is, I'm all right with it. Funny thing. Tomorrow might be a better day for them. That's what I'm saying. I might have caught them.

And also, too, you don't know if the last two people they dealt with were fucking assholes to them and monsters and you have no idea what you're walking into. And sure, professionally, people should be able to brush that off and treat it. But as human beings, I get it. You know what I mean? Look, this life is so fucking hard. And the variables are numerous. The opportunity to get bad service is way too easy, especially now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything expecting tips, though, has to stop. I'm tired of that bullshit. If it's not a tip-based thing. Jersey mics, I'm looking at you. Yeah. You didn't even... We both did this together. You know what I mean?

Like, I just said, like, if this thing was turned around, I could have done all this. I got no problem with that. It's pretty quick and simple. Very easy. Jersey mics, they're going to just ruin your sandwich by... They don't even aim the oil and vinegar, which just pisses me off. They don't say I'm going to get it on the bread. They just spray it so then they close it.

the thing and your whole sandwich outside is covered in fucking oil. So wet. And it's wet. And you just want to go, is that really how you think a sandwich is made, you fucking asshole? But you should feel good tipping, is what I'm getting at. It should make you feel good. We were in a restaurant. We went out to dinner. We

went, Jimmy and I went to a nice restaurant together when we were on the road months and months ago. And it was a nice restaurant and it was like kind of emptyish and, you know, not a busy night for the place. And our waiter was a very like professional. He was a, he was done this. He had a French accent. He was French and blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was very good and

very professional. We were like, wow. So I gave him a very good tip. We always split the bill, and I gave him a very good tip. And he grabs, he takes it and he goes, oh, man of substance. You are a man of substance. And then Jimmy goes, and then I bowled me. Jimmy grabs it from his hand and goes, give me, I got to see how much he tipped. I want to be a man of substance. That's what he said. And then he took the same exact about. Well, I'm not going to not be. If the option is man of substance or not, I'm taking man of substance. So that's the mean it should make you feel good to tip. That should make you feel good.

Let me say this. There's also a disparity between you and me to where if I don't know what that number is, I'm going to be proud of myself and then he's going to go, hope you're okay. Yeah, no, I wanted, I didn't want to, I wasn't trying to, you were more than welcome to know what it was. Yeah, but I'm going to give him a dollar figure and go, and he's going to go, no. No, sir. That was, that is not the number. You have no substance, but thank you.

You may want to, you may want to try not renting your house next time. Let us know when you have a mortgage, young man. That's fucking funny. Yeah, no, that was for you. Jimmy was very happy to be a man of substance as well. So we were men of substance. It did feel nice to have the respect of a man who served tables his entire fucking life. I don't know why I wanted that so bad.

But he was a nice man. He's a lifer. He was good at his job is what it was. He knew everything about everything. So good. When someone's that good at their job, you want to fucking tell them, hey, it's appreciated by some people. That level of expertise. Thank you.

Not just the, I mean, we were getting food that paired with wine. and he knew everything. Everything. The wines, the food, the this, that. Yeah, he was on. Incredible. On top of shit. Okay.

S.H. 1 star. Food isn't great. Most stuff is dry, except for the roast beef and vegetables. Which is the last person. Otherwise. Yeah. Probably to get you to order the $4.99 water or $3.99 pop or coffee. No tap water.

All exclamation points. Oh, okay. That's good. Okay, that's good. It's not all labeled. There's a plain bottle of water handed to you that they fucking Kirkland. They just cut the label off and said, here you go. Take the deer creek off of it.

Sour cream is not with the pierogies, and believe me, they need it. Okay. I think you have to be Polish to know that level of parogi accompaniment. It's like a little bit of pot. It's a Polish ravioli, basically. Yeah. Yeah. This place was horrible 15 years ago and has not improved.

We'll not return. Gee, that's funny. You expected it to improve, huh? Didn't get better. Yeah, same place. Amory, one star. I stopped by Al Max with my family thinking I found a decent deal. Prices looked reasonable at first glance.

But once you're in, that's when things change. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. You get hit with surprise add-ons that feel excessive. Yeah, it's three bucks for ketchup, so that seems excessive. That's absurd. Charging over $4 for a basic bottle of water is wild. It honestly feels like a bait and switch lower people with low menu prices, make it back on the extras.

Yeah, you're getting it. Now you're there. You know, a profit deal, as Steve Martin put it in the jerk. It's a profit deal. I get it. Food itself was just okay, nothing memorable, as it was a tad cold. service was all right, but my daughter advised me that a couple of the servers had mentioned our table. Uh-oh.

Mentioned it? They're gossiping about you? They're gossiping about Table 11, just going off on it. What the fuck? The fuck have you done? After I commented about the four-plus bottle of water, four-plus dollar bottle of water. So, yeah, they were complaining. They're making fun of you behind your back.

Yeah. To be honest, the pricing tactics left a very bad taste. my mouth along with the food. At that point, you start noticing everything, including how they charge for the smallest things. On the bright side, at least the washrooms were free, which, given the rest of the experience, felt like a win, wouldn't go back too many better, more transparent options nearby. Okay.

I don't like that either. Raise your, if you want to say, we've got to make an extra $4 off everybody, raise your goddamn prices, $4. Yeah. I get that you want to put it outside because it's a Torres area and say. say, it's only $12.99 or it's only this $99. Make the meal $2 more. Make the bottle of water, $2.

Make it, yes, make it feel less like you're being bent over the buffet and ask. Everything else is $27, $28. Yeah, everything else is $27. This is only 26. Make it competitive. Haley, one star, went here for dinner. It was horrible to say the least. We had to wait at the door to be seated, which took nearly 15 minutes till a server finally noticed us.

Although a few of them passed us countless times. Once we were sat, we were told to help ourselves to the buffet and that they'll take our drink order when we sit back down. Once we sat back down, it took 20 minutes for a server to come by to even take our drink order. Oh, shit. I have a swallowing issue. Oh, God. Oh, boy. So I must have a drink while eating.

Yeah. A swallowing issue? Okay, I know people have. It's where shit gets hung in her throat. Yeah. That happens. I ended up ordering a water and an alcohol beverage, and I was told that my server doesn't know how to make my drink,

so I'll have to wait. Okay. Okay. What did you order? What kind of complicated mixed drink did you order at the fucking $12 buffet? What duse drink did you order? Yeah. Seriously.

So it costs $4 for water. That's not what you get here. You know, I get they have a bar. Jack and Coke is about as complicated as I would make these fucking things for these people. people. Holy shit. That took another 20 minutes. Food was terrible. Everything sat in the hot holder for far too long. Pizza burnt to a crisp yet still saggy when you pick it up. I don't know how that's possible, but they did it. Good work. Everything felt cold by the time I sat back down with it. Everything was so dry. On top of that, the waiters don't check on you at all. They spent more time

arguing over one another for tips. Okay. They were arguing about each other's tips. with each other. Yeah, they shouldn't be talking about that until after their shift anyway. Yeah, or in the back.

That's where you talk about shit in the back with people. You can't pay me to eat here again. Oh, yes, I can. I bet they won't pay you to eat here again

either. That's the thing. He has, this is not good looking this food, too, on the plate. I can't even tell what one of the things is,

so that's a bad sign. I think it might be lasagna, which is scary. If I see something and I say, I think it might be lasagna, it's not good. That is going to be

bad lasagna. Yeah, don't eat that. I see yellow cheese on top of it, so that's a bad sign right there. What? Yeah, it looks like a mix of white and yellow cheese. Oh, God, Jesus. I see a pasta layer like that, so that's the fucking lasagna. And they put, like, cheddar on it or something.

I don't know, but I'm disturbed. Jordan, one star. Old food. Old food. Wasn't great at all. We'll not be back to start. Oh, well then. How about that?

To start, the lady who we first had contact with, hostess, just say the hostess. The lady who we first had contact with. Who we first had contact with. Went to grab the menus with an apostrophe, yes, by the way. They were sticky. She says, ew, that's gross. Better grab another. Wow.

What a first impression. Well, that's actually a good impression. Yes, she was looking out for you. Yeah. I don't want you to have that one. They haven't wiped that one down yet. You think that all, I got news for you, every menu you're going to touch was sticky at some point. If it's not right now, it's because they did something to make us now.

Because they, that's why you wonder, why are menus always laminated in like places where there's kids and sticky shit? Because they spray it with cleaner and then wipe them off. That's it. That's all they do. Was going to seat us beside the only people in the restaurant, no water, nothing. beer was expensive and tasted horrible as well. We ate maybe two bucks worth. I don't even know how you quantify.

Two bucks. Two bucks worth the food is on this buffet. It's Canada. That could be an entire buck. It could be, yeah, we ate two bucks worth. We ate about 1,200 pounds of meat. We dressed it out right there in the old showroom. Wow.

A bite of pizza and a bun. still had to pay. We felt bad as she asked, am I giving you a bill? Are you kidding me? I paid the bill. Oh, you better. Yeah. Please read reviews before you go. Trust me, it's not worth it. You don't even get a free glass of simple ice water. The staff are rude and talk crap about customers and stare. Stair. Oh, they mean they stare at you, but they spelled it like the stairs you walk up. Stairs. St.A. Wow. Okay. Oh, wow. Don't do it. Absolutely horrific. If I could rate this dump a zero, I would.

Yeah. Canada, you get it. This dump. Jesus Christ, man. Wow, this person is voluble. Are they mad? Oh, they seem like. It's a one-star review.

Well, yeah, we have to read it because Morad, it's one-star. This was, without exaggeration, the worst dining experience of my life. Oh. The worst meal of someone's life. life we should hear about. Of all time? How many meals do you have? Think about how many days old you are. Yeah. You have three meals a day. It's, I mean, sometimes I have to. There's been days that I've only had one. Yeah, most of the time I eat one to two. I never eat three meals. 45 years is a lot of meals. So many meals I've had in my life. I can't think of the worst one.

Oh, not the worst experience especially. No. I mean, oregano's, I got fed. I was paying. There was like 13 of us together. I was celebrating something and I was paying, took the order of everybody at the table, whole table, everybody got their meals except for me and I just sat there waiting. Then the server came back, like 30 minutes later, was like, oh my God, I am so sorry, can I get you a dessert? I was like, I'll punch you. Dessert. I have not eaten dinner. Yeah, that's a, that's a bad experience. That's probably the worst, but I wasn't like, I mean, I didn't fucking shout and make a seat. I did tell the lady that I felt it was her fault.

She didn't put it in. So she volunteered that it wasn't her fault. So I may or may not have alluded to her being less than smart. Well, that was pretty dumb of you. And she cried. Oregono's is so fucking busy too all the time. Yeah. It's always so fucking busy.

How dare you take 13 people to oregano's at a busy time and expect to get fed? Yeah. Was I, I, I don't my fucking mind? When you're waiting tables and a party of 13 comes in, you go, get these fucking assholes. They're cattle to you. You can't have an experience with them. There's too many of them.

They're all arguing. You don't know how many checks there are. It's a fucking mess in your air traffic controller with this table. Yeah, this was 20 years ago. We were all in our mid-20s. Oh, assholes too, yeah. The worst people. Worst bad people, too.

Yeah. The worst people. to that woman. And they called her stupid. Yeah, you should apologize. That's bad. I did a, I tipped her very well. That's good. For a man that didn't get any food. That's good. That's good. No, that's, that's a, that's a problem. I can't think of a bad diet. I've had plenty of bad, like, service or whatever, but to me, if I didn't get sick, I'm fine. That's all. I think that's the answer. If I'm not fucking dying out of here, then who gives a shit? When I was like 19, I had a sandwich from Schlotsky's that made me throw up for fucking three straight days.

I think that might be my worst dining experience. The hell could they have put in that? I have no idea. Manez was number one. It was mayonnaise all over even though I asked for no mayonnaise. More mayonnaise. It was hot out too and I think the heat and the mayonnaise and it was bad stuff. So yeah.

Anyway, the food quality was extremely poor. Everything on the buffet looked dry, overcooked, and if it had been sitting out for hours. That's because it has. Probably. The meat was tough and the sides were cold and nothing tasted fresh. Even the simplest items were disappointing. The meat was tough and the sides were cold. Bye, I'm leaving.

That's not food. It sounds like some sort of song. The meat was tough and the sides were cold. It's like a sea shanty or something. Yeah, or one of the, yeah, this is from the movie. This buffet really sucks my dick. Fucking Cartman's dancing. Most of the food was practically inedible, which is why my wife and I barely ate anything despite being hungry.

Well, I hope you're hungry if you went to a fucking buffet. We paid $70 for this meal. Okay, that's crazy. And honestly, it was not worth even a quarter of that amount. The quality, yeah, it just does not justify the price in any way. To make matters worse, oh my God, the soft drinks were $9.99 and not even bottled, $10 for. for soda. $10 fountain gun?

Dude, I could go to Yankee Stadium and get a big soda for $6. And that's, you know what I'm saying? Like this is... $2 less than you've got well whiskey in it. Yeah. You better have a professional football game going on in front of me or I better be at a place where I had to go through security and I'm about to get on a plane. Like, that's the only way I'll accept this.

And I still... $10. I'll fucking snap. Wow. Just fountain drinks that tasted watered down. Oh, my God. Oh, charging that much for low-quality fountain soda is unreasonable. It's outrageous is what that is.

Shortly after eating, and again, we ate very little. Both my wife and I experienced severe stomach cramps. Ooh, that alone raises concerns about food quality and hygiene standards. The restaurant felt poorly maintained. The buffet trays were not being refreshed properly, and the overall experience was extremely disappointing. I would not recommend this place to anyone. I guess not from what you said.

Dave, one star. Terrible value. A well-established tourist trap. Watch out for the drink, non-alcoholic prices. Yeah, 10 bucks for a soda, no shit. That's crazy. Atmosphere is nice and flowers outside. Enjoy the flowers driving by and look elsewhere.

Yeah, that's free. Just keep going. That's fine. Enjoy them as you keep on driving. It's like, that hotel is very pretty. Enjoy the outside of it. Well, you go to a better price, more reasonable one there. Quaker, one star.

I wish I saw the reviews before I came here. Walked in and the place looked unruly. Not really. Like a kindergarten class. Just shit flying around. Yeah. No soap to wash hands in men's bathroom. So how are the staff washing their hands?

Great question. They're not, I believe, is the answer to that. buffet line is disorganized. Chicken was cold. No water either. You have to pay for water. Brought all this up to different staff at different times. Hopefully the owner sees this.

Yeah, they don't, they don't care. They don't care. Yeah, they don't give a shit about that. These people, oh, you're complaining about fucking the ribs are dry. Okay, I just have to read this part. Musterol, one star. Huge advertising on the street for $24.99. dollar dinner.

Yeah. So we let ourselves be tempted. Oh boy. Unfortunately that we had... We were bad. We were bad. We hadn't checked the online reviews beforehand. There were two types of beer on tap, which tasted a bit flat.

But worse was the trip to the buffet. Most of the plates in the huge stacks were dirty and greasy on the bottom. When we finally found a plate, the buffet battle began. Here we go. Battle buffet. Battle. Battle bots. Battle bots.

Battlebot's buffet edition is what this is. That's exactly what I thought of. The ribs were drowning in ketchup. Why is there ketchup anywhere near ribs? Why? It shouldn't be. Nowhere near the ribs. Nowhere.

The muscles were extremely spicy. If you're eating muscles from this place, holy shit, you should be an astronaut. Like, you have no fear whatsoever. That's not spice. That's bad muscle. That's bad muscle. Bad muscle is the most point.

poisonous thing on earth you can eat, a bad muscle. Like, why is it spicy? It shouldn't be spicy at all. Well, I mean, the sauce, you could have a fradiav, like a, there's a muscles marinerer a fridayav that we do up here that's very common and popular. It should be white wine butter. It depends on which side you do it on. White wine butter is kind of the standard, but like in the Northeast, there's a, you do

mussels mariner a lot and you can get it fronial off and it's a hot muscle in that. And that's good, too. I agree with you, though, the white wine butter or lemon shit. Butter garlic is fucking amazing. The muscles, like, I remember reading in an Anthony Bourdain book, him talking years ago, saying, I won't eat muscles at a place unless I know the chef very well personally and know that he inspects every single fucking muscle to make sure one isn't cracked or broken or open. You think they're doing that here? You think they're throwing out open muscles?

Yeah. You think that they have an open muscle, which is then dead and throw it out? Do you think they're throwing those out or you think they're all going to. They're going to steam it. Fuck, yeah, they are. We'll cook it over too long. That'll be fine. Spoil it another couple of minutes.

And the pizza looked like I've been sitting there for a week. Everything tasted bland and stale. This affected us several hours later. I bet it did. Those muscles, who, oh, my God, they shit everywhere, didn't they? Muscle shits all over the place. The two waitresses were rude.

One used the buffet herself instead of serving guests. She said, I'm getting me a plate. Fuck this. I'm hungry. And the other wore rubber gloves that looked like she had, she'd just clean the toilet. You should avoid this place. Wow. That is fucking amazing.

And then finally, I don't even know what letters these are, Russian letters, some other letters. I don't know. One of them looks like a lowercase B with the squish down. I don't know what that is. And then there's an A that looks like it's in a fun house mirror. So whatever. Pretty sure that's Russian. Something like that.

I only know that from Rambo 2 when he moves the, when he's on that boat and he moves the piece of blanket aside and shows the rocket launchers from Russian. He goes, Russian. That's the only reason I know that's Russian writing. That's how he decides whether or not that's from Russia. Yeah, Russian. That's all I did. That's the people that are trying to kill us. I know because of their language.

I wanted to go to the toilet and eat. What? I think he means, like, go to the toilet, then eat. He made it sound like he wanted to take his food into the toilet and eat it there. I wanted to go to the toilet and eat, but they told me to pay first because the toilet is only for those who have already paid. I don't like this policy of the establishment. It didn't even stay. Nobody's allowed to use the can until they've ordered and put something in their mouth.

That's fucking. And he's like dancing up there going, but I really. Really, that I really have to. My God. And then finally, last one. Nice, one star. Worst buffet ever. Oh.

All they serve are omelets. The breakfast sausage is disgustingly bad. It makes you want to throw up. The bacon's all stuck together and doesn't even taste like bacon. Okay. What to taste like? I don't know. The potatoes are super dry and they've been left, like they've been left to soak in oil.

Super dry like they've been left to soak in oil. Hmm. I don't know how it can be dry and soaked in oil as if. Yeah, I don't get that. The dessert is questionable. They charge me $3.99 for a bottle of water because they don't serve glasses of water. My three-year-old son had to pay, even though he didn't need anything there. The waitresses are rude and don't apologize.

The manager seems like he's mentally challenged. Very nice. Perfect. He's just from like Upper Saskatchewan or something. He's just a little like, hey, what? Hey, that's all it is. He seems mentally challenged. Manager seems mentally challenged.

Lovely. That is so fun. This place sounds like it'd be fine if two drunken Canadian loggers came in here. Just two dudes who were going to just didn't give a fuck about what the quality, they're just going to tear through a buffet and get their money's worth. They don't give a fuck. That'd be the only way to go here. Otherwise, it's like they're going to nickel and die. you and get you somehow.

So fun. God damn it. All right. Let's have a little pallet cleanser. Quite literally here. It's only one review that we're going to read from a place, but it's maybe the best review of anywhere I've ever read. So it's okay.

All right. This is the Spittle Pond car parking. Spittle Pond. Spittle Pond. Spittle. Spittle Pond. Not Spittle like, yeah. Okay.

It's at 42 South Road in Smith, It's Bermuda from the island down there in Bermuda. This place has three stars, only two reviews, total. And the one is just a four-star review with nothing said, okay? Then the second one's the greatest review ever. It's one sentence and it's beautiful. Adrian, two stars. My car got stolen by a four-foot-eight Swedish man named Johannes.

that's the whole review You've got him That's it It's not even stolen at that point It's no That fucking Swedish dwarf took my fucking car His name is Johannes Get him, he's that

Call the cops It's Bermuda How many Swedish dwarfs are there In Bermuda Think about it How many tiny Swedes are They're running around Fucking Bermuda

I think they would stand out probably Wouldn't they In your car Oh that's great I don't think the cops Are gonna look long I think they're going to find them very quick. Very quick.

Yeah. First of all, look for the car where no one looks like it's automatically driving. Look for that car, first of all. Because 4-8 is going to be a difficult way to drive unless you have a real setup going on. Find the guy with blocks on his feet and sitting on phone books. And saying Dr. Jones. And we're going to have short listeners going, hey, we're not making fun of the short. My wife's 5-1.

Trust me. We're not making fun of the short. She'd punch me in the truck with me. I've got a ladder. Yeah. She'd punch me in the dick. It's right at head height for her, so it's good. No, I'm just, see, I'll make short jokes about anybody.

We're just joking. Walgreens, let's go there. What do you say? Let's pick up a few things. Walgreens, 3.1 stars, first of all. That's a bad Walgreens. This one, 3218 Atlantic Avenue, Atlantic City, New Jersey. Okay.

Which is one of the biggest shitholes in America. in general. Just a complete fucking dump. Falling apart. Absolutely terrible. It's an embarrassment of New Jersey even. Jersey's actually turned into a very nice state. There's a lot of nice parts of New Jersey.

It's very well kept. It's a nice place. Atlantic City is the exception. It's a falling apart shit. Well, Newark. Even Newark's gotten nicer. Does he have nicer areas? It's still Newark.

I mean, Newark is, you were really, you were digging out of quite the whole thing. That place has been a fucking mess for decades and decades. To rebuild that, you had to get it down to the studs. It's gotten better. They've done a pretty good job. Yeah. So anyway, Walgreens.

Let's find out what the fuck here. It's not a 24-hour Walgreens. It's a midnight Walgreens. Terry Lynn, five stars. They have the best employees there. One in particular named Shannon. She was so helpful. She had a pleasant attitude and didn't seem to be bothered by my question.

questions and help me to find certain items. Wow. Yeah, you mean she did her job. You walked in, you said, hey, where's this? And she said, oh, it's over there. I'll show you. And you went, oh, my God. Yeah, the attitude.

Do you know what, Safeway? They're not allowed to tell you. Well, I'll say this. I'll preface that it was 20 years ago. We were not allowed to say the aisle. We said, let me show you. And we would take them to the fucking aisle. Wow.

It was horrible. I don't want someone taking me to the aisle. No. Okay, I can find aisle. I'm an adult. I made it to Safeway. I will find Isle 7. Thank you very much.

Yeah. And then I think it was fries or bashes. We would say, we would tell them where it was and ask them if we would like them to show us. But Safeway was literally, let me show you. And you'd walk down to it. You're good. Just tell me. No, no, no, no, no.

They don't let me. I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed to say it. You got to follow me. That is fucking wild. We're on a journey together. No, this is together. You put your hand out.

So they can hold it. Here we go, best friend. Here we go. And then walk off into the fucking light. Oh, God. Walid, five stars. I received the warm and courteous welcome. Lots of help.

Yeah. The warm and courteous welcome. The warm and courteous. I got the warm and courteous. I'm going to say that next hour. I'm going to give me the warm and courteous. Where's the warm and courteous, huh, baby? Say that to the fattest man you can find just to see his reaction.

Hey, pal. I want the warm and courteous. Hey, give me the warm and courteous. Unfortunately, he might take you up on it. He might do it. He's going to pin you down and fucking pin you down up against the fucking stridex pads and give you the business. Kaya 5, three stars, sorry. I was in Walgreens today to do a simple transaction.

Gen H started the transaction and asked her colleague Erica, she's got the whole roster going here for help and that's where it went downhill. I had kindly reminded Erica I was due change and she very rudely replied, I didn't forget. Don't worry, Vets, I got you. I asked why so hostile. Just get your change and leave.

Who cares? Are you going to win an exchange with fucking Erica the Walgreens chick in Atlantic City? is this the battle to fight really why so hostile because you just asked for 37 cents and I'm looking for it because I work at Walgreens and live in Atlantic City

that's why I'm so hostile you live my fucking life you're digging through your pockets for change just give me another bill and I'll give you change yeah no shit I reported the incident to the manger that's nice got who brought it right up

Right to Jesus, right to him. Hope you brought gifts like the wise mess. That's right. That's the only way he'll listen. So here's how you do. You start with the police, then you go to the town council, the city council, and then eventually you work your way to Jesus. Straight to the manger. Straight there, right to the manger.

Heading right there to the manger and continued my day. But Jen H was so kind. And Erica was a terror. A terror. She said, I didn't. forget. That's her. Terror, James.

A terror. Holy shit. I didn't forget. Wow. I didn't forget equals a terrible. In Atlantic City, somebody saying I didn't forget is a terror? That's a terror. Wow.

Wow. That is disturbing. Wow. That person should. Wait until you get to the fucking slot machine. Oh, my God. Please get therapy. That's all I can say to you, Kaya, is get therapy, please.

I beg of you. USA Patriot with a fucking cartoon eagle as their thing here. Three stars, usually a good place. But the last time I called the pharmacy said my RX, my prescription, was in order, but it was actually never sent in. They lie at times. Not in order. Yeah. They lie at times.

At times. They're going a lot of you in there. Thomas, three stars. Didn't have most of the items I was looking for. Well, that's pretty used to this thing. Most? Most? What the fuck were you looking for that Walgreens did that?

Yeah. What did you want? Steak? Like, what were you looking for? Snow boots? A meat counter? Yeah, like, what were you? What did you need in there?

Where's the fresh fish? I'm sorry, they didn't have halibut today. Yeah. Hockey equipment? What were you looking for exactly? I'm just trying to think of whatever, you know. Yeah, basketball hoop. I was looking for a new.

Monday. Do you have that here? Hey, I'm looking for a carburetor for a 71 Nova. You might, yeah, no, they don't have anything I'm looking for. Well, you know. Do you have a picture tube for a? For an RCA, built an 87 inch, from 89. Now, I got it from Sears, if that helps.

I can, no, okay, shit. Well, I guess not. Maybe with Montgomery Ward. I can't remember. I can't remember. But it's an RCA. So you should probably, it's probably the same thing, right? I know it's an RCA.

That I do know, or a zenith, but it's 27-inch. How the fuck? What are you looking for in Walgrey? That's what don't they have? Did you need band-aids? I bet they have band-a-and-a-old. Yeah, I was looking for Incherita. Yeah, what the fuck?

Did you want a Butterfinger? I bet they had one. You know what I mean? They definitely had boxes of them. Fuck, yeah. The guy that stocks the shelves is very rude. It was an innocence for him to answer. An innocence?

It was the... All inconvenient. of his innocent He tried to write Inconvenience And got innocence Banged out innocence And left it

And went yep Which by the way That'll do Innocence is I think a harder word to spell Than inconvenient It's got Fucking C's that sound like asses

It's got all sorts of complicated shit in it Yeah Inconvenient It might mess up an I or an E Once in a while But otherwise spell it out Or sound it out It was innocence for him to

answer of where something was. Right. Wow. Okay. Blaze, two stars. I don't trust anybody named Blaze, first of all. Is it AISE? Yes, it is.

Yeah. I hate that name. I don't know why. It's a cowboy name. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's, I thought it was like one of those newfangled cadence.

You know what I mean? Oh, it's an old-ass name. Really? Yeah. Well, it's, you sound like a, like a, like a, I don't know. annoyingly named Gen Z kid. So, we're tired. Like an egg with a footh, you little fuck.

Yeah. Let's go, Caden. What do you got to say for yourself? Two stars. Never carts or baskets with long handles. So rarely get what I want. Say again. Never carts are baskets with long handles.

What kind of handles do they have? Oh, it's probably just... Have you ever used a cart in a Walgreens? Never. God, never. What am I getting? I didn't know they had them. Fuck no.

I walk around like six things stacked up against me. I have like a chunky bar two greeting. Yeah. A chunky bar, two greeting cards, a new toothbrush, all the stories of shit to stack up. And whatever the dentist made me buy. Whatever the dentist made me buy and the two pack of degree that fucking, it's two for one. Yeah, cool rush. And the double crest because it's cheaper that way.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I always buy the two pack. Yeah. Yeah. Colgate total. I got to have it. grocery store, maybe once every two weeks. And every two weeks, I get a new one of those.

I've got like six of those boxes in my fucking closet. The last thing you want, though, is to wake up to get in the morning. And that tube is, you got to cut it open and drag your toothpaste. Toothrush through it. Yeah, it's no good. That's the worst. Yeah. I'm not living chaos like that anymore.

You take the, like, the nipple top off and you're trying to get, well, maybe there's some in between there that wasn't making it all the way out of the square. Using your forearm to push it on the gum, like, sing. That's a problem. Get your credit card out, like, straightening it out. That's terrible. A rolling bin that I've never used ever. Except to get the toothpaste rolling pin.

I've slipped them in half, though, for sure. And open, like, spread them and then drug my toothbrush. No, I've opened. And I'm like, make a mental note. Gotta go now. I've opened it like a blunt. I was going to roll. fucking slice it with fucking

I gotta go to the grocery store now otherwise I'm going to bed with fucked up mouth with fuzzy teeth tonight and I don't want that so Blaze never gets carts or baskets with long handles so rarely get what I want waiting for people to open cases

at certain times is too long as they restocked theft areas you gotta wait for the razor blades Those kids. I was in a store that I didn't realize I was in a shit neighborhood, but found out I was in Milwaukee where it was a Walgreens where the beef jerky was behind a fucking lock and key in a case. The beef jerky. We're in so much trouble. The fucking the not even the jacklings.

It's just shit. It's $6 shit. It's behind glass. It's literally the shit on the dusty trail that kept people from dying. Just enough protein to get him to the next town. It was behind glass. Lock and key for the jerky. Jacklings and fucking slim gyms.

I was like, this is crazy. We've gone too far, everybody. We're in trouble. We're in trouble. The target by my house has underwear locked up. Underware. Oh, my God. That's horrible.

James, these are the bare minimum things. Yeah, that's what I mean. This is not. Beef jerky. Underware. Things that like... Base level. This is not extravagant.

is what we're getting at. People have to steal that now. At a level. Yeah. That it needs to be locked up. These are not extravagances. Like where, oh, let's hide the diamond rings. Are you listening to people?

Yeah. Let's hide the mink stoles, everybody. They're going to be a run on them. This is a different story. Those aren't even made. Those aren't even being made now. No. Nobody's buying that.

No. They're stealing underwear. Stealing underwear from Target. Everyone knows Walmart's where you steal underwear. Target. In Berlin. Yeah. You.

can see employees are overworked and underpaid. Underpaid. You bet. That goes on for everything. And then we'll do one last one because it's short. Robert, they are always out of stock on everything. Everything. Everything, everything.

And we'll pick back up with Walgreens because it really is going to get hot here. The next person's talking about what a neighborhood nuisance they are. Oh, boy. There's 911 calls and it's a lot. People really need to stop calling the cops for shit, by the way. They do. So here we go. That is Walgreens from Atlantic City.

We've been all over the place. We've been to Canada, got ripped off there. We've been to Walgreens. That Erica's a terror. I'm sorry. The buffet was lights out. That was lights out. And I have to remember that if they ever forget to pick my garbage up, I have to call in order, cops, the mayor, and then Jesus.

Those are my. City Council. Boom, boom, boom. Then right to the manger with it. Right to the manger to file my complaint. Police station, town hall, then the manger. Then Nazareth. We're going for it, baby.

Let's go. So. Go on out to Bethlehem, everybody. Make your complaints. Yeah. So there you go, everyone. We'll be back next week with more of Walgreens and we have so much more lined up for you. It's just a blast and we can't wait for it.

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