Your Stupid Opinions - Species On Species Weirdness, The Mountain That Hates You, The "Doesn't Worth It" Day

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for a very popular mountain in Phoenix, where nature may attack you, there is absolutely no air conditioning on the trail, and the only way out, is by dangling from a chopper. A personal item consisting of a very book about strange interspecies relations, that many people on TikTok apparently find "erotic". A boat tour where the difference between the best day you can have, and a sad, meager existence is $20 & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is James Petrigal. I'm my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wiseman. We have some fun stuff for you, all laid out. Nice, like an outfit for tomorrow.

All laid out nice for you. Here, we're going to go back and finish up the cruise that we were on. And then we're going to do some stuff. We're going to go somewhere very late. landlocked. We're definitely going to do that. And then we have a personal item of the week at the end of the show as well this week. But don't worry, it's nothing graphic or anything like that. It's actually the craziest book that I might have ever been written. So we'll talk about all this stuff and more. Make sure to head over to shut up and give me murder.com. You can get all the

merchandise and everything like that. Tickets for small town murder live shows. And we just want to say, thank you so much to everyone who came out to Phoenix for the first your stupid opinions live show. You sold the place out and man was that a fun show. That was... Unbelievable. How many comedy shows have you done and been to? I've been thousands.

You know what I mean? And that was one of the most fun comedy shows I've ever been involved with or watched or anything like that. It was so much fun. It was crazy. So thank you. The fun part I think about it to me most is that, like there's a lot of people that are uncomfortable when they go to comedy shows because they're afraid

you know what I mean to be pulled into it or whatever yeah I don't think there was a single person in that audience that could have assumed or even thought that that would be even I mean that's part of our thing anyway but no no it was just fun it was just fun it was unguarded everybody was having a great time it was so fun it felt like a party it really did it felt like we were just having a party and and putting some shit hey check this out got to show you like people use to say, here's some slides from our vacation back in the day. We were like, hey, there's some stuff here we want to tell you guys about. And it was just so much fun. So thank you for everyone, to everyone, for coming out and seeing us. That was just awesome. So thank you.

All right, that said, let's get back into this. Here we go. We are going back to New York to finish up on the Liberty Cruise. This is the cruise where, you know, tourists go out. Depending on the shirt, yeah. Buy tickets from sketchy people on the street. In a blue shirt or possibly a pink shirt. Maybe even a A red one. Even a red one. And you never know the safety of your stroller.

They just tell you you you leave it in a lot somewhere in the middle of New York. So let's do this. Let's start out with Lisa with one star. Wish I could give them a zero star. No, you screwed it up. You could have been done that so easily, Lisa. Avoid this company by all means. Do it.

Do it. Was on the two-hour TG brunch tour. What is TG? Two-hour T-G brunch tour. I don't know. It's been more than one hour and still no entree served. Oh, they're doing this from the middle of their journey. Thanksgiving?

Thanks. Two-hour Thanksgiving brunch tour? Wow, maybe. I don't know. When is it? This is from a couple months ago, but when we did this, I'm not sure exactly what month this is. Either way, it's been more than an hour and still no entree served.

Asked five different people for a juice a thousand times. So five different people a thousand times. 5,000 juice requests. That's a lot. And not one. Naria juice showed up. Still nothing in the end that I just gave up asking. No service, no food, no drink, no nothing.

Don't book this company. Brunch. Yeah. Now, by the way, she could have pressed publish. And then 30 seconds later, the most incredible feast could have come out with like all 5,000 of her juices just in a big giant pyramid. Yeah. A huge buffet table.

A guy with a big chef hat on. on a big knife carving roast beef. Like it could have appeared before her. Then what? Champagne glasses of a pyramid with juice. The juice just flowing down it. That's like crazy. Crazy juice pyramid here.

Okay, let's find out Tangi, one star. Do not purchase, all caps, with an exclamation. We purchase tickets for a 330 tour on July 9th. Okay? Now see, now we know what's going on. Upon arriving early, the line was extremely long. Okay. We stood in line wondering if they were going to allow everyone in line on the boat.

99.9% of the riders had purchased standard fare. The boat was way oversold. There were no seats. People, i.e., this is crazy. People, this is what they mean by people, I.e., women, children, elderly. You know. What about the men? Human beings of all sorts and stripes here.

Yeah. Not men, no men standing. Men. Only women, children, and the elderly standing around the perimeter and inside of the boat. First of all, if there's seats and we run out, first people are standing their kids. You sit your stand up. You're fine. Your legs are in great shape.

You can stand for hours. Your knees don't even hurt yet. Nope. You have no. Tell me about your knee injury. Oh, you don't have one yet because you've done nothing. Stand there for a while. I've got gout from a lifetime of eating terribly.

What do you think of that, you little shit head? Okay. So they're standing around the perimeter. on the inside of the boat. It was crowded with nowhere to sit or stand. The inside of the boat where food was being sold was crowded and lacked ventilation. The entire situation was a safety hazard. Yeah, this sounds like the beginning of Scarface is what it sounds like.

They're bringing the flotilla over. Smuggling them, yeah. Yeah, the staff wasn't nice. It wasn't nice. I like that. And insisted that we pay them an additional $20 for a few seats, for a few seats, premium seats that were left. because the premium seats are more.

Remember, we've talked about that on the second level. They're up top, right? Even if we wanted to, with the number of people standing, this would not have alleviated the problem. Well, it would have alleviated your problem. Right. Fuck everybody. I don't know what you want to alleviate everyone. Hey, everyone, we're coming together as a people, I'm going to go upstairs.

So everybody have a seat. Someone can have my space, because I won't be there. We watched staff after we got off the boat because people peep because we felt unsafe trying to shift the weight by moving people around the boat. Oh, you guys are trying to organize it. Oh, boy. I don't know. It's leaning this way. Hey, three fat guys.

You to the front. Okay. Now, six, eight people north of 180 go up front. Yeah, you got like eight, ten children if we can shift them over to here. That would be a good weight distribution. We were also told when leaving the boat, we could wait for the next boat but could not be guaranteed that it wouldn't be as crowded. There's no way the Port Authority is aware of this activity. And if so, they're all in gross violation of the safety and security of people on those boats.

They're aware of it. They're all doing it together, everybody. I have added a picture. It is clear that the top of the boat is empty. That's because all the people are packed inside the bottom of the boat. Yes, that's because you didn't pay for the premium, which is upstairs, which you could have all spread out real nicely if you had, if you would have thrown an extra 20 bucks in there. And if you're packed in, you can't move and someone goes, hey, 20 bucks to be comfortable, you go, fuck yeah, here. God, I don't, you just start taking shit out of your pockets, whatever it takes.

I don't, here's my house keys. Just make me comfortable. This sucks. There can't be that many people on the bottom of that boat that are like, 20 bucks will break the life. In New York City, too. Like, it's expensive around there. Yeah. Hopefully you've budgeted for an extra 20 bucks here or there, and you could just bring in some...

If every single person on that boat, $20 changes your life, we got a problem. This is a refugee boat. Why are you on vacation? Yeah. Or even worse, if you're from here, why are you doing this weird boat tour? Oh, man. Okay. Melissa one star.

My two daughters and I, bought tickets from a man in battery park, and he scammed us. That'll happen. Yeah, you got to be careful because that happens. He charged each of us $49. We waited in line at Pier 40 for 30 minutes, and a crew member came out and said, FYI, this is a two-hour tour, not a one-hour tour. Okay, so you're getting more.

It was freezing, and we would not have paid for a tour for a long tour. We were told, along with about 75 others, to call CS for a refund, but CS was no help at all. I guess that's the company. Customer service. Maybe, yeah. Come to find out the man at the park pocketed our cash. Yeah.

Sure. You got to make sure you're getting legit shit here. What are you doing? Don't pay cash for anything in the park. No. It could just be some guy going, hey, you want to get on that boat? Yeah. All right, $49 each.

Yeah, pay me. All right, here you go. And they walk away. What do you got? Anybody could do that. Why would you? to do that. It's not even a complicated scam. That's just, I see people want to go out. That's just, look, a boat guys want to get on it. It's not easy. That's crazy. That's like selling you the Brooklyn

Bridge. You know what I mean? Yeah, you saw it. Yeah. You saw it. It's right there. We have called and no one's willing to help us or return our money. No, because they're not that guy. They're like, they don't have your money. No, why'd you give it to that guy? You shouldn't have. That's like buying something at Walmart and trying to take it back to Target. What are you doing? And they're like, well, we don't have anything to do with this at all. We don't have your money. By the way, that wasn't a Walmart. That was a child's lemonade stand.

You shouldn't have given them your credit card. Okay, they only became concerned when they realized the guy put the money in his own square account, Eminem Tours. I do not recommend this cruise at all with three exclamation points. All right, Mason, one star. One of the biggest scams in the city. That's saying something. In New York City. One of the biggest scams.

Do not buy. This is all caps, two exclamation points, and he repeats three times. Do not buy, do not buy, do not buy. Okay. Waste of time and money. The boat is about 40 to 45 minutes and costs $39 U.S. dollars plus tax. They claim to take you all sorts of places like Brooklyn Bridge, etc. It is all lies in all capital.

It's all lies, Jimmy. Oh, my God. just goes to the statue, turns around, goes back to the Greenwich area where they drop you. No guidance on the ground. Poor communication and coordination. Doesn't worth it. Well, doesn't worth it. So as long as it doesn't worth it, that's okay.

That's one of my favorite phrases of all time now. Doesn't worth it. Doesn't worth it. The Satan Island is better, is a better view. Satan Island is a better view. Well, yeah. I mean, they're going to. Of course Satan's going to make it attractive for you.

Really, if you screw those letters up on Staten, you end up with some interesting shit here. Just forget a T. And it's the Satan Island. Satan Island. Satan Island fucking Ferry is better. Picture opportunity. And for free. Is the Staten Island ferry free?

I don't know. I've never, who the fuck goes to Staten Island? Luckily, I've never had to go to. I mean, people who lived there, I imagine, right? Unfortunately for them, yeah. It's not one of those places where you're like, hey, we're going to Staten Island for the day. It just doesn't happen. But they got to ride the ferry every day to and from the city.

That still costs money. They can't just run a fucking giant boat. What is it? The bridges cost money. Yeah. So I mean, I guess they didn't have to build a bridge. Maybe he means the picture of the thing is free. It's not $39.

I know that much. No. Steve in one star. Worst cruise ever. Doesn't worth it. Nope. To sit on top, you have to pay for premium service of extra $20 per person. Why don't people, why is this such a crazy concept to people?

I don't understand. When you go to a baseball game, you don't just pay, oh, I'm going to buy the cheapest seat and then walk right on down to the field and sit down on the seats down there. Those aren't your seats. If you want to buy those seats, they cost extra. Otherwise, your seats are up there, asshole. You're like, what are we talking about? don't get on a plane and go, oh, these seats are right here.

Why would I go back there? I'm just going to sit here. These are way easier to get into. These are way easier, too. Cool. Much more room. Yeah. Oh, you're feeding us up here?

I sure, I'll take a mosa. Why not? No, this costs money. That's what I... We understand tiered pricing and everything else, but not this fucking boat. And this, on a boat, if the... It couldn't be more tiered obvious. It's literally on a different tier.

Makes no sense. That's what I'm saying. It's not like they have like, it's all on one level and they have like, these seats are roped off. Those are premium. No, it's upstairs. It's a better view. It's literally a better view. And more room.

Man, it makes no sense. Also, there are only 100 seats that is open into air out of 395 max capacity. If you're not sitting, if you are, if not, you're sitting on bottom, with regular Walmart folding chairs. Or $20 for a much better experience. Boarding process was a hot mess. Line up all the way there is no connecting words in here. Like it says line up all way to end of corner of other side.

So I have to try to make a sentence out of that as I'm reading it. So if it sounds like I can't read, it's really I'm trying to do like translating it from another language in English while I'm doing this. English, motherfucker. Do you speak it? Do you speech it at all? Boat is in horrible condition, not as picture of website. I guess not as like the picture on the website. Went to concession stand, purchased popcorn and can of soda prices $7 for a combo.

Well, on a touristy thing in New York City. That's pretty decent. That's not that bad, actually. $3.50 apiece? Yeah. Well, gave $20 and got only $12 back. Then kept change for themselves. They stole a dollar from you.

Yeah. They say they don't have coins on boat. Yeah, no coins. Okay. They also don't go under Brooklyn Bridge. They turn around on Hugh Carey Tunnel. Half speaker doesn't work on boat. Oh, they only have a half speaker to begin with, and it doesn't even work.

Jesus, that's terrible. Person only talk for 15 men on speaker and rest playing music all time. Yeah. I gave up trying to make sentences and just started reading exactly what was there. This guy wants somebody to just sit there and talk to him. Give me a guided tour. Just talk to him. on a nice chair for very little money and have cheap soda.

I want all of this. I want free soda and popcorn and I want to sit upstairs. Please, damn it. Oh, my God. Here we go. This is one star from Don. How do I give zero stars? It's a good question, Don.

It sounds like a poem or a song. Yeah. How do I give zero stars to you? Sounds like a bad country song. Zero stars. This was supposed to be a nice Thanksgiving cruise that we spent $1,500 on. Holy shit. How many people did they take?

I was going to say, what is your whole family? At $39 a clip, that is fuckman. Maybe more for Thanksgiving crews. Maybe they bring a turkey round. It's like 30 people. Yeah, we waited for half hour in the cold before boarding. Well, it's Thanksgiving time. That's what happens.

It took 30 minutes to get soup. We had to ask to get bread. The music was so loud, 70 plus decibels, and the music selection was 70s rock. Okay, now this is what they think 70s rock is, by the way. If I say 70s rock, what do you think of? Right away, top of your head. Rolling Stones and Duby brothers or fucking Leonard Skinnerd or... Early 70s, you got CCR, there's all kinds of stuff.

A thousand bands you could name. 70s rock, huge, so many bands. It's a big genre. I'm thinking the most popular ones are, you know, those, ACDC, whatever you want to say. Fleetwood Mac. They say Michael Jackson, Rick Ashley, not Rick Ashley, but his cousin Rick Ashley, and Whitney Houston is not Thanksgiving music. Also, not 70s rock either. Not even close.

Two of those people weren't even out in the 70s, and the one was a tiny black child at that point. So that's how long ago that was. So none of them were rock. Two of them were tiny black children. That's true. Well, one was actually singing famously. Yeah, and the other one was probably already doing crack. Probably.

In her pink party dresser, the fuck she was wearing back then. It gave me a headache. It got to 95 decibels. They Rick rolled you, man. That's what happened. You got Rick rolled on a boat. That's tough. How does he know how many decibels it is?

There's apps that tell you decibels. Yeah? People are obsessed with that shit. Yeah, the people are weird, dude. Oh, God. That's the only way I can think of. Otherwise, he just licked his finger like he's going for the window. Yeah.

95 decibels and put it up in the air. It has a piece of copper and he puts it against the wall or something. You never know. That's probably from, because there's laws about what decibel you have to be at. And how the fuck a police officer is going to know. Yeah, I mean. In New York on the water. Like a cop's going to pull up on a boat.

Hey, you're a little loud over that. What are you doing? Yeah, nobody's going to. Come on. guys, turn it down. You're disturbing the rest of the city. You know what I mean? It's the city that never sleeps, but it could if people turn fucking Rick Astley

down. We could all get a little rest, if you know what I'm talking about. He said, if you want a nice Thanksgiving family, or Thanksgiving dinner with your family, this is not the cruise for you. No cruise would be. This was louder than any bar I've ever been to. It ruined any opportunity for conversation.

The temperature on board was cold, and having been chilled standing in line, it would have been good to have had the heat on. It's kind of open, so good luck. He wants a heater on the boat. He wants a heated late November New York River experience. The main course finally came at 854, almost two hours after the cruise started. The food was generous and good. The music and DJ ruined the cruise. This was not the cruise advertised in the pictures. I honestly felt bad for the rest of the passengers. Not for me, just for that. This gets better here. I finally pulled the power plug on one of the

speakers closest to us. I've decided everyone's done in this section listening to music. I've decided. I've had it. It's not good for me. So try that in a bar, by the way. Jesus Christ, the poor people that had to sit under it and eat their meal thanked me for pulling the plug.

This was more of a rave music than a nice dinner. Now it's a rave with Whitney Houston. They play a lot of rick-assly raves and fucking marshmallow. Jesus. Had to give my son. my AirPods on noise cancelling. They were trapped on this beautiful, on this beautiful boat with beautiful food and views.

Avoid, avoid, avoid. If management reads this, fire your DJ. Okay. Okay. And then let's see here. I don't want to do that one. Let's finish it up with this here. Okay.

K, one star. If I could leave less than one star, I would. Okay, well, close. What's less than one? Right, that's zero, lady. It's so easy. It's right there, lady. We were sold tickets at Battery Park and put on a bus to Pier 40.

The bus was slow, so we got to the pier at 510, missing the ferry by less than a minute. They didn't let us in and told us there was no next ferry, even though our tickets said there were ferries till six. Anyways, we have to call customer service to hopefully get a refund. Oh, damn it. My God, there's so many people complaining about. fucking, this guy gets if I could give zero stars, I would. That's nice. But after that, this person is very, okay, I'm going to read this one a little quick here from

Julie in one star. If I could give zero stars, I would. I would. That's the reason why you're getting read here. I book tickets for me and my girlfriend on 827, 2022. So many things wrong with the whole trip. It took 30 minutes for the boat to leave. I asked the host if my girlfriend could have wine instead of.

the complimentary champagne because she has bariatric surgery. She cannot drink anything with carbonation. Oh. It'll cause immense pain in her stomach. I think she had her, she had a weight loss surgery. Yeah, and she can't.

It'll expand shit here. The host said he could see what he could do. Not once did he approach us. Every employee was more worried about a big number of people on one table than to worry about everyone else. The same song was replayed three times. during the boat ride. Mind you, it was soft music, as we know from what they play. Very, very soft.

It took the last 20 minutes of the boat ride for them to actually start blasting the music and having people dance. What a disappointment. Then some asshole pulled the plug from one of the speakers. There was another party boat across from us playing better music than what we were on. Okay, well, that, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Every time they served us our food, it was cold. The main dish had such little food. You'd be better off dining at a restaurant and going to an actual party boat than to waste your money here. I ordered three mixed cocktails. They all had little alcohol. My last drink, our waiter, sweared by it, swared by it, that the drink would be strong. It was just disappointment after disappointment.

Wow. The fucking sadness boat is pulling away from the... He's the kind of guy that sits down with his wife at a meal and then just side eyes the guy's plate next to him going, I should have got that. Not even next to him in a table, adjacent table. What's he got? Oh, what is that?

Hey, would you order? No one fucking asked the guy. You ever been asked that by someone? Hey, would you order there? What is that? Yeah. You can, your eyes should be able to look at this,

then look at the menu and match it up. What the fuck are you talking about? What did I order? Fucking look at it, stupid. Have a conversation with you about. You can't decipher from your eyes what the fuck is on this plate. That's what I mean. And match it up with one of the 12 options on a piece of paper.

You don't know which one it is? Yeah, it's not like they have fucking, this isn't. This is a cheesecake factory. You don't have to go through a goddamn yellow pages to figure it out. No. A cheesecake factory, I'll give you a pass because you're like, I didn't get to page 14 yet. So is that deep into the menu? Where is that item?

pretty good. What page is that on 97? Jesus. Hey, my eyes are tired from reading. Can I just tell me what you got and I'll just order that? It looks pretty good. I don't know. I'm tired of doing this. I'm in chapter 12 of this menu and I can't find it. It's fucking ridiculous. All right, here we are. We've got to get off the water. We are sea legs. Got to get off this boat. It's so loud. Let's go somewhere where they're from the water to somewhere where there is absolutely zero moisture. No water. Basically the center of the sun. We're going to Camelback Mountain in Phoenix, everybody. Let's do this.

We're going to Phoenix. Camelback Mountain. If you've ever been to Phoenix, you've seen Camelback Mountain because you can't miss it. It's right in the middle of the city. It looks like a camel. And it looks like a camel. It looks like a camel that's laying down. So you can't miss it.

It's got three humps, really. But the third one is spaced so they make it his fucking head. Do you know how many people have been miserable for decades because they thought this was cool looking and move to Phoenix. Do you understand? They think, oh, that's beautiful. That's what Phoenix is. Now, meanwhile, you can't afford to get near that fucking mountain. Oh, God, no. The houses around that mountain are $30 million.

You'll never live there. No, you're better off trying to live in, like, Malibu or something. Yeah. The houses are crazy. The people that own all those houses around that mountain, too, they don't even fucking live there. They don't, they're not in those houses ever. No, these are like hedge fund managers that come for, like, two weeks a year. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

No one can afford these goddamn... Or Mike Tyson, who puts pigeons there and lets them die of starvation. Yeah, that was back when he could afford that. He couldn't afford to live up there now. I don't know. I don't know if he sold everything he hadn't moved there, maybe. Maybe if he sold... I don't know.

I doubt it, though. That's... The people do it because the property... The property taxes are nothing in comparison to everywhere else. But it's ridiculous. But the value of the home itself and the upkeep. The upkeep. It's crazy.

So you got to put water on those things. Yeah. People like to hike this mountain. That's the thing. And it's an ongoing joke in Phoenix. If anyone who's lived in Phoenix knows, tourists come to the place. They come from Minnesota in July. And they think like, oh, I like to go walking in Minnesota.

You know, I walk around my neighborhood all the time and, you know, whatever. There's some hill at the end of my street. I go up. Let's all go hike this mountain. What they don't realize is you need. like a Sherpa and like fucking a pack that has water on it. Like this is not an easy climate. A fireman.

Yeah. And a helicopter to save you. Yeah. The joke is that tourists are constantly passing out up there having heat strokes and having to be removed from the mountain via helicopter. It happens. It's clocked off of there. Constantly. I mean, it's when we did, we did this particular thing for the Phoenix Live show and the amount of headlines I went through with the.

pictures of, you know, hiker rescue off mountain. And they're dangling off a little fucking thing. One lady spun and spun and spun around until she like, it was years ago and she still can't stand up straight. Like she fucked her equilibrium up forever. She can't drive because if she gets pulled over, she'll get a DUI because she's just wobbled. She's a wobbler now. So Camelback Mountain, it's beautiful.

And if you know what you're doing, a nice hike from what I understand. But if you don't know what you're doing, a death trap. And it's hilarious. Morning or evening? It's amazing. sunrise, sunset. It's one of the coolest things you can do. But you still have to understand, even at sunrise, you need so much water.

It's so fucking hot still. Sunrise means nothing in Phoenix in the summer. It's 103 degrees instead of 120 degrees. That's all it means. Sunrise, sunset hikes are from November to January. That's it. Yes, that's it. And then you're fucking done.

Now, Camelback has 4.8 stars on Google at a 992 reviews. 4.8's pretty good. And it's really nothing about the mountain is the mountain's fault. This is all user error if you fuck up here. So everyone should give five stars because it is a beautiful mountain. Whether you can climb it or not is really not the mountain's fault. Right. You know, that's the problem we have here.

They're blaming the mountain. It's a mountain and it looks like a camel's back. Yep. So Virginia, five stars. My legs are like jello, but I do it again. If you have the energy and the desire to scramble over rocky crags, Go do it. It's hard but fun.

You don't have to do the whole thing. You don't. Good advice. You can also turn around. This is not Everest where you're going to get stuck on a... You can turn around. Just come right back down. At any time.

Michael, five stars. My son loves to hike. So after the 2025 AAE Arizona Cup, I don't know, beats me. We opted to hike the Camelback Trail. Allegedly, I like when sentences start with that, that's good. allegedly my son thought it was a short trail and not that hard. I missed the sign clearly stating otherwise on the way up. You don't even need the sign.

Fucking look at it. It's rocky and pretty steep toward the top. You should have seen that shit from Lincoln. You know what I mean? From the road. Like, you could see that. You saw that from the airplane when you landed. Yeah, that's, wow, you don't need signs.

The trail starts off decent and even has handrails and steps for the first one-third of the trail. Gets you committed. This is nice. That's how they suck in. See? Give them handrails and stuff. They're going to think it's easy. They'll be all in. Yeah. Then there is a short lull of easier trail. Then the serious rocks appear. For an old fat fellow that is out of shape, it was very challenging, but very achievable. I made the complete round trip in about 2.5 hours. Younger, more flexible, and in shape people can do it much quicker. Quite an enjoyable climb and an awesome and awesome that it is very convenient to be to to be to to be to to be to i guess to get to i don't know so this person said yeah harder than i thought but there is a sign and i'm the one

who's fat so five stars not a not a big fat dumb dumb i'm a big fat dummy so i tried everybody got up there and back before i was back so whose fault is that yeah not theirs jennifer three stars okay i have to be a stickler on this one do you do you really do we do Does everybody have to do that? I have to be a stickler. Stickler. We were looking for a reasonable hike on our day off to get a little exercise and be outdoors in Phoenix while they're on vacation. Yeah, you fucked up.

That's the problem. You did. Yeah. Check, SG checked some other sites for listings, not looking at Yelp. If I had, if he had, he would have noticed significant, what is this? Something guy, SG? Uh, sexual guy. Sexual guy.

sexual guillotine. If he had, he would have noticed that all the reviews, though highly rated, talk about the high intensity and rocky terrain. The other sites said easy to moderate. Uh-huh, right. Who the fuck at rates? What are you? Who is hiking something more extreme than that?

You know, compared to Denali, it's not bad. Yeah. I don't know what they're, you know what they're, you know what I mean? Compared to. I don't know the Andes somewhere. All those huge is in Yellowstone that I'm used to every day. I'm not sure here. So we found a rock star parking spot on the little street leading up to the park entrance

and did not wait for the line to allow one person at a time into the lot. That would have took a half hour on its own. We ventured up and started into the park. Fairly quickly, you get into the rocky terrain with some definite climbing. Okay, so maybe this is just a little bit of a hike. Nope, pretty much the whole thing. It's like it's a mountain or something. This is bullshit.

This is the mountain's fault. Yeah. This lady is obnoxious. Dollars of donuts, Rockstar parking is a slang term that people use that they're like,

you know, that's a great spot. And nobody will take it. We'll do it because we're rock stars. We're rock star parking. Yeah, probably. I'm sure. That's something to do with her own high opinion of herself. They'll do it anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I really did not have much trouble with going up this mountain. I would not say that I could or would ever want to run it or do it twice three times or four times like some of the folks on the trail. But I'm in okay shape to breathe very heavy and keep going. SG on the other hand was not in shape for this mountain.

And there's a picture of SG. He's just some regular guy wearing shorts and like a navy blue t-shirt and a hat. And he's looking up. She's way up above him. The look on his face is like, what the fuck did you drag me here? I don't want to do this. This is so fucking hard. This sucks.

Going down, I was the pokey chicken. Uh-huh. Pokey chicken. I prefer tuna in my pokey bowl, but that's fine. I do not like going down. I would rather sweat and breathe hard going up all day. The rocky terrain is treacherous. I myself am too timid for this type of descent.

I would have preferred a non-rocky hike, even with the elevation gain. Just be warned. Just be warned there's rocks in the desert. Also. On a rock mountain. How did you live this long without learning that what goes up must come down? If you hike up, you got to hike down. She was like, oh, they don't have a thing going down?

There's not an escalator? What the fuck is this? A mountain? I thought I was going to zip line right to my rock star parking spot. Shoot right down there. Leigh, three stars. Came here with my aunt last year during spring, and I think it's not suitable for young kids. No.

No. It's certainly not. There is a part that you are on your hands and knees crawling up. This is not for young kids. Who? Wow. I struggled to get to the halfway point where the stairs ended and there was a point where after we climbed the steep stairs, we would have made it to the top.

It was just too much and I was about to faint. Oh, here comes to the fire. I hear helicopter blades whirling in the background, getting prepared. Hope you like dangling from a fucking cord on the bottom of helicopter. The only thing worse than hiking this mountain, James, is getting taken home on a helicopter. Yeah, that's going to cost you later. Do not go on a super hot day or do not go during the day when it reaches its hottest temperature. Yeah, that's just logic and self-preservation, you fucking idiot.

What do you think? Duh, Jesus, I suggest going in the morning. Also, to add, parking is tight and small. Yeah, it's nature. That's the problem. It gets crowded during the day as well, and there's rarely any parking. You have to wait or keep circling until you see someone leaving. Also, bring water, a hat, sunscreen, bug repellent.

You know, also, go to the bathroom when you feel like you have to pee. You know, eat when you're hungry, things of that nature. Anything else obvious? Don't forget to breathe. Yeah, that's, wow. Bug repellent and a hiking stick to help during the difficult points of the trail. bring something that will keep you cooled down and hydrated, you know, like water, what you already said to bring.

Holy shit. That's, that's amazing. This, and I have to do this guy because it's wild. Well, we'll do Mindy first. Mindy three stars. No parking. Very overcrowded and hike was sketchy and no safe for last half. It is no safe.

No safe. Rahul, one star, or two stars. I could not find a parking. I could not find a place to park my Honda Civic and enjoy. Oh, this guy bragging it up about his Honda Civic. Calm down, big time. Relax and enjoy the trails. After about 60 minutes of looking, I gave up.

Need more options to get there and where to park the car so the trail can actually be enjoyed. I will save my time and go elsewhere. Well, you waste an hour, so you're a dummy. I'm going to need more. I'm going to need an HOV lane to camel back. Black Mountain. And then here it is. Suggestion.

This is going to be great. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever read on this show, and that's saying something. Should consider developing an off-site parking area and providing a shuttle to the entrance, perhaps for a small fee. Let it be known where to find the shuttle. So we can either tear up the pristine desert that's mountain preserve, or maybe we'll knock down one of the $30 million houses all around this mountain. Because this guy needs a parking lot.

Nearby. For his Honda Civic. Where a shuttle. And that's another thing that rich people love is a shuttle driving back and forth down their fucking property. They love that with a bunch of tourists in it. They love that so much. And this, they literally want to just pave a, you know, is there a paradise we can pave over here? Because there's a parking lot I'd really like to put up.

Like just, wow, Jody Mitchell weeps. This is sad. That is dumb shit. RG one star. Camelback Mountain really isn't a good beginner trail. No. No, it's really not. And you should know that by looking at it from any angle.

I can't believe anybody believes that. From a fucking plane, a car, the street, your feet, anywhere you look. You can see it. Do you think it would be easy to climb the sphinx in Egypt? Sure. This is an animal, natural life, our natural formation, mind you. Yeah. That looks like an animal.

It's a mound of solid fucking rock. That's, yes, it's all it is. It's not going to be easy to climb. No, it doesn't, and it looks smooth, too. It doesn't look like it's got a lot of grip to it. And this person even has, they're saying one star, there's even, he posts pictures of the signs that are right there that says heat warning, April through October.

Let's make that march through November, everybody. Yeah. And that's even pushing it. It could be longer. Hike when it's cooler, early morning or evening. Turn around before your water is halfway gone. Each year, hikers suffer serious illness or death up here. And it says dogs prohibited as well.

Yeah. And another warning, be prepared to know your limits. Serious injuries can occur while enjoying Camelback Mountain, including broken bones, heat, stroke, heart attack, or even death. Right. Yeah. This person says it's very steep and extremely uneven. Yeah, because it's natural.

That's why. No one made this. They didn't grade this properly. This isn't in a strip mall. This is a fucking mountain. This isn't a, you know, a wall climbing center. Yeah. This isn't a defunct J.C. Penny.

No. Never had walls around it. Nope. This is not the old Sears. This is not any of that shit. Rescues of injured out-of-town visitors happen frequently. During the cooler months, it's primarily ankle or knee fractures or sprains. In the hot month, it's heat exhaustion or much worse.

Heat stroke and deaths. There's even a Facebook page called, quote, Please don't die or have to be rescued on Camelback Mountain, Arizona, which is hilarious. And everyone should probably join that because it's probably very funny. It's probably the opposite of please don't. Yes, it's please do and take pictures so we can make fun of you. Please get footage from Channel 5, I want to see you die. See you dangle from a helicopter.

Visitors, do yourself a favor and go to the desert botanical garden or Papago Park instead. Yeah. Yeah, those are much. much less. Do people hike Papago still? I don't live there anymore. You tell me. I have no idea.

It's that rock. Hiking culture. With all the holes in it? Yeah, you can hike up to the holes and sit in there and watch the sunset and shit. People used to do that all the time. Yeah, it doesn't do much for them. Until spray paint came along.

And then it became very annoying for people to be up there. Then it became awful. Everybody must have to write their fucking name. Here is Veronica One Star. No dogs allowed. Lame. No.

Yeah, you can't drag your dog up there by the leash. No. Go to, is it a mountain goat that you have? No, it's a dog? Well, then we can't bring it. Go to Shaw instead. It's a better view anyhow. They say that camelback is too difficult for dogs, but that is just not true.

You don't know Fluffy. Fluffy's got heart, man. I got a tactical dog. She goes. She goes. Okay. Now, this one, my, my, my. It's a long one, but it's well worth it.

One star from Jacey. My wife, two daughters and I, hiked Camelback Mountain, Echo Trail on Monday, 1127, 17. Let me tell you that hike is difficult. Yes. My daughters kept going with words of encouragement. I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that got me to the top of the mountain. I'm so grateful I kept going because it's breathtaking up there. We had just started our descent when my wife lost her footing and slid into a tree,

branch that was sticking out of a boulder. Lost her footing. To say she impaled her leg as a gross understatement. Oh, Jesus. The picture is just horrific. It ranks up there with the skating rink piece of wood sticking through that guy's leg.

It's gross. It's real gross. To say she was impaled as a gross understatement, she had to remove her leg from the branch. It went all the way to the bone. Oh, Jesus. Needless to say, it was an excrucied. Myel hike down the mountain with her leg gaping open and nothing but a t-shirt wrapped around it to keep her from losing too much blood.

We got to gape her. She's gaping, all right. Several other hikers passed us and asked if they could help. A few even called down to the ranger to let them know she was injured and that we were on our way down. I spoke to him myself and he told me if she could make it down to do that rather than calling her to be airlifted out. Like, I'm not coming up and getting her. Here are your options. Get you. If you can walk, fucking walk.

Walk or we call the chopper. Those are your options. That's it. And the chopper's going to cost you. It's going to cost you. Either you can walk it or it's the fucking fall of Saigon. You pick. I don't know what to tell you. So that carries a hefty price tag.

She says it's true. So the Ranger knew exactly where we were, what number markers we were at, and that we were coming. There's a good distance at the start of the trail. It's relatively flat ground before you start on an uneven surface. etc. When we rounded the corner to make our final descent, I could see the park ranger talking with a hiker who had just completed the trail and he had a gauze pad in his hand. My two teenage

daughters basically carried her down that entire mountain. They were exhausted, but they were not giving up on their mom. Okay. This is turned into a story of just, yeah. Yeah, this is crazy now. She needed help. I was absolutely appalled that the ranger didn't make the effort to meet us on that flat ground to help my wife get down the rest of the way, as well as to give my daughters a break. Nope. He just kept on talking to the hiker who made it to the bottom before we did, and that hiker also informed the ranger that we were coming. Again, zero attempt by the ranger to help in any way, shape, or form.

You have four women who just hiked up and down this trail, one of whom has her leg literally impaled by a branch, and we need to get her to the ER for a boatload of stitches, and he didn't move a muscle or even try to help. boat load. This was really disappointing. I told my wife that the park should have some kind of razor or four-wheeler or something that can meet people at the top of the flat ground and transport the injured or struggling the rest of the way down. No. They're not allowed.

They're not allowed. No. It doesn't, yeah, you're not allowed to take the motorized shit up there. You can't have a motorized vehicle on the fucking mountain. And the helicopter, when it rescues you, it doesn't land. No, it drops a fucking fish hook to you and you get on. That's it. Yeah.

That's all you get. Wow. That would have saved my wife 10 minutes of hobbling on the leg with her arms draped over our daughter's shoulders. Not 10 minutes. Maybe she should have been more careful. Wow. We heard many horror stories of people that have gotten injured up there. So I'm fairly certain a means of transportation to help get them off the mountain just a little bit faster, wouldn't go to waste.

They have that. It's called a helicopter. That's your option. Or walk. There's a walk. Or you're injured. A stick, the picture of it, of the stick. It's a stick sticking out of boulders.

It's, you know, nature. It's not placed there. It's not a display. You slammed your leg. You can do a stick. That's it. There's no, you can't review nature. That's what I don't understand.

It's just there. And it's, the tree didn't move and stab you. No. You stabbed yourself on a tree. Yeah. If it jumped out and asked for your wallet and you said, no. And it said, all right, lady, you're dead. And then it shanked you on.

I go, wow, this is a bad mountain. One star. It didn't. Those L'Aquitio's throwing apples at you until you ran into another one? You know that's what happened, Jimmy. You know him. Liss, one star. Went on a hike here this afternoon.

Went up the mountain at about 3 o'clock. This is in January, by the way. Okay. So a little better. But that sun is still, even when it's 62 degrees out, that sun is fucking punishing out there. And the hottest time of the day is between 3 and 4 p.m. Yep. The park ranger was super rude and insinuating.

that we were not in shape enough to climb this mountain. By the way, this person that says they're from Shorewood, Illinois. Yeah. It's like, so what if I had a hot dog in my hand? I thought it was all right. You know, some sport peppers were hanging off it. I said, you know, I'm in good shape. Let me finish my hot dog.

It's all right. You know, it's good. I ate my way through two pregnancies from my wife. Yeah, you know, it's okay. It's all right. Hey, look at me, pal. This looks like a gut to you, but really, it's just, it's all. I'm holding it all in, Mr.

This is called sympathy. Oh, that's what it is. This is called love right here. This is my belly of love. We get back a little before six, walk back to the car, and we have a ticket, $107. The sun had not even finished setting yet. The ranger was still standing there. We began to eye with him, okay, that the sunset was a vague time.

Sunset is not a vague time, actually. There's an official time of day every day in the sunsets. It starts, yeah. But he said there was no exact time the sunset and that there was an exact time the sunset and we should have looked it up. Yep. We were in the car and well out of the park when we noticed he lied about the time he wrote the ticket. He says he wrote it at 609 and it was just then 609. Way to welcome your guest.

Park Ranger's name was Penicate. God damn it, Benicata. And then finally. Getting all cops a bad name. I would say. That's horrible abusive behavior there. bit. Joanne, one star.

Too many rocks. Truly. Is that right? Truly with an exclamation point. Too many rocks. Way too hot, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Put fans everywhere. And then all caps. Maybe I'll come back. Line the mountain with fans. Let me teach you how to build a mountain. Jesus Christ, man. First off, run electric around this whole mountain. All of.

it. We're going to need a bunch of fans. We're going to need some AC fan of you. That's almost as good as the Grand Canyon person that said there's not enough stores up here. It's really like a mall or something at the ridge. That would be better. Okay. Now, we are going to, well, do we do this or do we do? Now, let's do the personal item right now. And then if we have time, we will get into the Walmart frozen pizza because it's very long. But personal item of the week, everybody.

It's back. this is a book and I'm using this. This is not some obscure thing. This is not some ass gaper or some shit that's like some obscure thing that five people buy. This shit is popular. This book is like a sensation on like with women on TikTok and shit.

It's crazy. It is called Morning Glory Milking Farm. That's real. A monster bait. Monster bait. Monster bait. A monster bait romance. And then in parentheses,

Cambric Creek, Sweet and Steamy Monster Romance, Book 1. Jesus. Okay. This has, Hang on to your fucking hats, everybody. Yeah. 24,397 reviews on Amazon with a 4.0 average.

That means there is hundreds of thousands of these sold. Oh, yeah. War and Peace doesn't have that many fucking reviews. on Amazon. That is crazy. Crazy. And it says here, book one of five, number one bestseller in erotic science fiction, which, if you're anything like me, I had no idea that was a category that existed. Erotic science fiction?

You want to fuck robots? That's what that tells me. It's fan fiction, right? But the fan didn't write it. It's just what fans want is this. This is crazy. This is like, um, Book porn for ladies is what everyone explains in these reviews.

And here is the description of this book and story. Violet is a typical down-on-er-luck millennial, mid-20s, over-educated and drowning in debt, on the verge of moving into her parents' basement. Oh, boy. We've all been there. When a lifeline appears in the form of a very unconventional job in neighboring Cambrick Creek,

she has no choice but to grab it with both hands. Oh, Jesus. It's so big. Morning Glory Farm offers full-time hours, full benefits, and generous pay with no experience needed. That's never a red flag or anything, right? You're going to need some experience. Yeah, I would say you're going to show your pussy to somebody if that's the job. Yeah, if it's no experience necessary, you're sucking something.

You can definitely take that to the bank. There's only one catch. The clientele is grade A certified prime beef with the manly, median bar. endowments to match. Oh, my God. Hands on work with minotores isn't something Violet ever considered as a career option. I didn't even know it was a thing because they don't exist. Wow, that's funny.

I went to college for four years for that. She didn't even know. Weird. But she's determined to turn the opportunity into a reversal of fortune. By the way, the goddamn cover is, you saw the cover. It's a man who has got a man body. and then from the like chest up is a bull with a giant bullhead

and just a lady and he's their like swaddled together in bed like with a sheet around them isn't a minotaur isn't that where they have a man's head though? No I don't think so I think it's the other way around

I only say that from the WWF character of Mantar which is supposed to be like a minotaur and he had a big giant bullhead that he couldn't fit through the ropes in and then he took it off What's the one that has a people head then? I don't know.

Is that a centaur? You know, this is outside of my ex-area. Which one do you want to fuck, James? I mean, I'll fuck any of them, honestly. You figure it out. One end of them has to be human, so, you know, I'm good with either. Yeah, I guess it's a centaur that has the human head. It's human waist up.

The Minotaur. Has a human waist up, but then has the fucking bullhead. What is that about? But apparently is a giant bull dick from these descriptions. That's, yeah, because the waist down, yeah. When a stern, deep-voiced client begins to specifically request her for his sessions at the farm, maintaining her professionalism and keeping him out of her dreams is easier said than done. Violet is resolved to make a dent in her student loans and afford a name brand,

orange juice. How well does a Minotar pay? Apparently, this place pays sick money. Yeah. Sick money. And a one-sided crush on an out-of-her league Minotar. He doesn't even have a man head. What are you talking about?

Nothing's out of your league. You're a human woman. Have some pride. You have student loans. You went to college. Where do you think he went? I mean, they have Minotar college, I'm sure. He went to.

He was Phi Beta Kappa. You know, it's not a part of her plan. unless her feelings aren't so one-sided after all. Maybe he likes her too. Maybe he wants to, yeah. Morning Glory Farm is a USA Today best-selling human-slash-monster romance novel featuring a high-heat, slow burn with a lot of heart and guaranteed H-E-A. What is that?

Hey. Hey. All caps. Hey. I don't know what the fuck that is. Yeah. It is the first book in the Cambrick Creek Monster Romance series. and can be read as a standalone.

CWs are viewable on the author's website. Okay. It's human something animal, right? Humane. Entice? I have no idea. It doesn't matter. Jay one star, five stars, sorry.

Ticks every single box. Gross. Gross. You're ticking your box all through this shit. This was a completely new experience for me, and I must say, I've been won over. I want to live in Cambrick, creek.

Oh my God. With all the diversity and culture and very interesting new takes on ordinary things and places. Made a furry out of this person. Wow. This is like worse than a furry. I have to say it was the sheer logic of the book that made me a fan. You know, you'd obviously want to fuck a bull, man. Blood donors for vamps is not a new concept, but the minotore milking certainly was and makes perfect sense.

Minotaur milking. That's what you do here. That's the job to jerk half men off. Milk them. Stop calling it milking. It's called the milking farm, for Christ's sake. They need to stop calling it. It's just jerking off an animal.

Gross. Same as for other animals who might need help with certain other things, like goat milking or interspecies IVF or buffalo grooming. This person's sick as fuck. This is a sick bitch right here. And what girl doesn't want to experience a five-pice? Pepper bowl. I don't know what that is.

Oh, dear Lord. What is that? But I'm definitely not a girl because I don't know interest in that. Yeah, there's going to be stretching and stinging. The peppers are the amount of fishers formed. Afterwards. It's a five pepper bowl. You're lying to yourself if you say you don't.

Oh, I'm don't. Everybody out there, you're lying to yourself that's listening to this show? Or trying to spare someone's feelings. You don't want to hurt your husband's feelings because you really want to fuck a five pepper bowl. Give this a try. It has romance and real human worries. I quite enjoyed it.

Wow. You're a sick fuck. Okay. That was the first review. That's a five star. This isn't even... Okay. Samich gives five stars.

I love their title. Hear me out. Let's get it. Listen. I know this is weird. By the way, here is H-E-R-E. Hear me out. Okay.

Okay. This has come up for me a thousand times. way before TikTok got a hold of it. And I refused all caps because realistically, this book looks and sounds ridiculous. Okay. Yeah. I caved and got it once and got it. Once it picked up the traction, this is, there's no punctuation there.

And this was surprisingly really good. I hate that I liked it, but I went ahead and bought blue ribbon as well. Easy read, steamy. I burned through the pages in about two hours, but I will probably self-indulge and read it again. I'm a spinster after all. No shame in it. Ten out of ten recommend.

This lady is fucking dittling herself to this book all the time. I loved, I came so hard. I got blue ribbon and I can't wait to like this bean to that shit. It's going to be great. Christine, three stars. Weird but cute and dare I say, steamy.

Gross. Cute love story. If you can get past the fact, that it's essentially beastiality. Right. Not essentially. A hundred percent. It's beastiality.

Well, 50-50 if you go by the guy is. By the person. Yeah. I guess he has all the right bits and pieces, though. Face, legs and the tail of a bull, but the body and hands of a man. Somehow it all works. I guess I didn't know that's what I was into, but I am. Somehow.

Somehow it all works. Was a quick read, but would have liked more, would have liked some more. content with the randomly thrown in supporting characters. Plan on reading the second book, which is in the perspective of the MMC. Don't know what that is. I don't know. Major Minotaur cock. I'm not sure.

MMC. Alex, three stars. Main character, male main character. Yeah, probably. That probably works. Yeah. Alex, three stars. Title says 2.5 stars.

being very specific, not three. Okay. Reddit just for the hype on TikTok and was disappointed. New premise and cute romance, but the pacing and timing threw me off. I got so confused every single chapter because it kept jumping around from present to past to past to back to present, then to imagination all in the span of a couple paragraphs, sometimes within a single paragraph, without any formatting changes to indicate the change in time. Also, some parts were sped through so quickly I got whiplash, but others spent paragraphs going on about stuff that I didn't care about. And that did not and that did not and to the plot and to the plot or world building. I think ad is what they were going for.

The descriptors of characters and places was also really confusing and I found myself unable to imagine most of this book. prose that it was a quick read and neither of the main characters were insufferable. Okay. That's helpful. Lay, with two Wys, three stars. Most interesting read I've had so far, L-O-L'd. Okay. Okay.

I have no words. Friend of mine recommended this book to me as an intro to the monster romance, and I don't know how to feel. A lot of words you already got. How about gross is a good way to put it? Or like maybe your friend isn't, maybe you should be choose better friends. I feel like it took way too long for them to get together, 70% into the book. I didn't believe the quote romance between them. It was all just dot, dot, dot, weird all around L.O.L.

Yeah. Yeah. But I vibe with it and wanted to see how it ended. So, yeah, I still have no idea what I just read. But you did read it. But you did read it and you did masturbate several times. You bet. Megan, two stars, read more for shock value than anything.

Writing was terrible, but I was cackling at some points. I finished it, but barely. What? Wouldn't recommend unless you love the whole monster romance thing. What does barely mean? You read the whole fucking thing. You got through it, didn't you? Yeah, that's what that means.

Barely. that is that's the whole thing yeah I think that's what I'm saying I finished it but barely okay so you read a whole book yeah you read barely

barely and was I guess if it's it's like a bad movie at that point though if you're cackling at some points it's like I watched this terrible movie it was hilarious I could only you know it started to get more boring at the end

barely got through it okay Griminator two stars slow progression repetitive. A lot of people say that. When you get a man, a bull man on woman book, you expect page two,

bull balls slapping against woman ass. That's what you're expecting. You're not expecting this big romance and all this bullshit. No, I don't need it. Don't contrive shit for me. If you're expecting a book chock full of sexual adventures, this is not for you. No?

Unless you were really expecting this to be page after page, of graphic bull on woman sex. This is a not for you. It is surprisingly sparse in this book how many times they fuck. Weird. And with two stars, that means that's what this person was looking for. That's what they expected.

Yeah. That's what they wanted. The sexual adventures, by the way, the sexual adventures, small S, big A. So adventures is capitalized, but not sexual. Okay. You're probably looking for won't happen until about 80% into the book. halfway through the writing gets a bit lazy,

and you could tell she started cutting corners to move the storyline along faster. If you're looking for the exciting, milking bull fantasy, you know, how excited we all get over that. This just ain't it. Wow. No.

What this author thinks is unique and taboo, or risque and taboo, is not. It's not taboo to fuck a bull, man. Perfectly normal. She mentions over five times that she's not, fond of sex work. I never thought a milking bull book could be so vanilla.

Yeah. This is for basic ass bitches, though, that just want a bullman to plow them. It's a very specific. They made bestiality and bullman sex boring. Dull and boring. Yeah. Wow. Okay, we'll do a couple more here.

And then we will cut this off and we'll finish it up next week because there's a lot of these. And there's a lot of fun. So Amazon customer, it's smart. Somebody didn't want to reveal their real name. I'm going to need this to be anonymous, please. Very anonymous. Two stars. I actually like the story, but the writing was giving me a headache.

It was so scattered that I thought I missed pages. I kept flipping back thinking, when did we get to a new scene? Then the next paragraph went back. I'll still read more books, though. What? That's how books work. Yeah. I don't think they...

It's how bad this book is to me. I'm borderline not going to read another book. I'm not going to read. Yeah, I don't think they understand like flashbacks and like thoughts internal characters. Because like in books, it'll go to like a character's internal shit and then back to for a while. I'll read a Stephen King book. It's tenses and things and this person's thinking this, imagining that, flashing back to when they're six. Watch any season series of any show.

There's always one episode where they're like, I just. got nothing this week. Let's make something crazy. And it's a, it's a dream sequence or a flashback or a flashback. Let's go back to Don Draper when he's a little kid and a fucking hobo comes over and we'll talk about that for a while. A whole fucking episode about it. But I guess visually you can see when someone's like looking in a mirror and then they fade back to when they're a kid. But this is like they don't understand how like reading works and how sometimes they don't have good comprehension maybe. I don't know.

I'm not sure. NB, two stars. I was curious, okay? Yeah. Like, listen, don't get on my ass. It was exactly what you'd expect from something called morning glory milking farm. It was a quick read. I don't feel angry that I spent time on it.

The writing was weird, like someone got too excited with the the thesaurus. And there was way too many species to keep track of for a story that mostly revolved around minotars, a couple humans, a vampire, an orc, and an elf. What the fuck just happened now? Why is there a vampire and an orc and an elf? And how come no one else has mentioned that there's a vampire, an orc, an elf,

women, minotars, goats? What the fuck is happening in this book? An orc? What the fuck is an orc? I don't either. Neither of us know. I looked at you, you looked at me with, don't ask me with the orc.

I get an elf and I get a vampire. I don't know why they're. they exist in the same world, but throw an orc in there in a minotaur, and I guess it's just some sort of weird fucking... And you can fuck them all. You can fuck, come in here and fuck them all. Fuck my orc.

Fuck my orc and my elf, I want to have hot orc on elf sex. That's what I'm looking for, and then a vampire comes in and films it. That's what you do. Do they have female orcs, or are they all males? I don't even know what an orc is.

I have no idea. That's a really good question. Okay, we'll do one more here, and then we'll finish up with next week. Okay. Here we go. This is from Emily One Star. Disgusting can be interesting and fetishes can amuse.

Being boring, though, is unforgivable. That's true, yeah. That's a good point. That's the new Dosecchi's commercial. That's, I believe. The least interesting man in the world. That's their new campaign. Just a guy sitting on his couch.

Did not finish. I'm a sucker for uniqueness. I was intrigued by the premise and strangeness, the juxtaposition of ridiculousness and ordinariness. Then I was kind of thrown. Then I got uncomfortable. They're just going through the beats of how they felt at certain times. And finally, turned off when all the dynamics just echoed the most basic structures of the most basic romance novels.

Except that the man is half bull. I would assume that's the difference here. Simper, whimper, girl, manly, studly. guy, whateves. Are those not hashtags? No, not hashtags. Simper, Simper, Simper, comma, whimper,

G-U-U-U-R-L. Then, manly, comma, studly guy. What-Eves. Oh, boy. This person spends too much time on TikTok. It's made them into a moron, I feel. Just cashphrases and words out there.

Just words. What-Eves. To my mind, this writer could write something delightful, but opted for an attention, meaning money grab. This writer could have read something no one would read, but they decided to getting middle-aged women horny was a way to make a lot of money. Yeah, good job.

Can't blame them. I would give zero stars if it were an option. Okay. You don't fuck that up. All right, Emily, go fuck yourself. How's that? You picked up a book where the cover is a half bullman with a naked lady on it.

What the fuck did you expect for this? This is ridiculous, but it's boring. It's just too basic for her. I picked up a hustler and was looking for an 86 Bronco. What is this? Pussy page after page? Jesus Christ, what is that? Yeah.

How many assholes do I have to see it right? The rear end for a fucking 56-4. Tits, tits, tits. All I got is tits. Where are those little sea monkeys you can buy in the back there and where the guy's got a big, like a trancement. one of those big trident things. And they were like a king and a queen.

Where are those? That's what I'm looking to order. Okay. We will leave it off there. Wow. And next week we will get into that. We'll also get into the Walmart. Microwaveable frozen pizza, by the way.

Not regular frozen pizza. One that you're supposed to put in the microwave, which is going to be horrific. We'll finish this. And we'll talk a little bit about the other books in this series, which are just as disturbing. Terrific. Need to be talked about. So we'll get into all that and more next. week. Definitely join us then. You want to definitely head over to shut up and give me

murder.com. There's a bunch of merchandise on there. And there's a lot. There's more than I knew because at the show in Phoenix, there was a lot of people wearing your stupid opinions. Sure were. Yeah. Fucking awesome. They go get it. So there you go. Get in there. Get that. Hang out with us. Keep coming back. Listen to all of our other shows as well. Crime and Sports, small town murder. If you like us, you like those basically. They're just what they sound like except funny. So check those out. Keep coming back.

I'm curious, by the way, how many people that we've just told about this are going to go order this bull fucking book? I hope the answer is zero. So curious. But you know it's not. It's not. You know it's not. It's six, eight, ten. It might be twenty.

It's thousands, I think. I think we're going to sell a thousand of these books by talking about this. They're going to Google it. Oh, yeah. And some of them will go, I don't know, sounds kind of hot. Click and they're going to get it. It's going to be in your algorithm now. I just bought it because it was funny.

I just, you know, as a joke, mm-hmm. Sure you did. Yeah. Interesting. Okay, so thank you so much, everybody. Join us again next week. Keep coming back. Keep coming back and seeing us.

I just joined two words together. Shut up and give me murder.com. Blah, blah, blah. See you then. Thank you so much, everybody. See you next week. Bye.