Your Stupid Opinions - Strip Club Steakhouse, Scenic Junkie Park, Torture By Boredom

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

Crazy one star reviews, complaints & grievances!! A fine steakhouse, with all the trimmings of class, including a large strip club, where dancers may sell you fake drugs. A museum dedicated to torture, that seems to only torture the paying visitors. A beautiful & scenic park, where your belonging will absolutely be stolen from your car & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there, we're so excited for more people's complaints, grievances, and otherwise... Hello Dum Dums. Hello Dum Dum people out there. Not you people, the people doing the reviews. You're great.

Hello smart people who want to hear Dum Dums. That's basically... Dum Dum. That's a better way to put it. Definitely listen to this show. Also listen to Crime and Sports. Listen to Small Town Murder, our other two shows, which are exactly like they sound.

Follow on social media. And of course, we must say, these are not our opinions. I didn't do it. If we have an opinion, we'll let you know. But otherwise, as with The Diner a few weeks ago, I gave quite an opinion on that place. But otherwise, we don't know. Did you get no text about about that by the way. Oh, yes, I did. Yes Are you gonna do you could do something about it? I think I might cuz that is

Against code for the people who are over like six foot two that shit is dangerous You're gonna kill somebody like I could if I didn't I'm lucky I had my hat on honestly cuz that padded it a little bit. Otherwise, have split my fucking head open. It's I would have been bleeding all over the place See if they would have looked at me then Yeah, it's to go start bleeding on people's food and see how they like that So we're gonna start out this week with our personal item of the week, which is rare We usually don't start out with it because this isn't an item. It's a location This is our personal location of the week

Because this isn't an item. It's a location. This is our personal location of the week What where you can get yourself a nice steak and get some boobs in your face at the same time? Okay, well strip club. It's a strip club, but it's they try to act like they're the best steakhouse also The best not like we also have food like we are the best steakhouse. Oh, and there's boobs as well Like we're classy. Yep. This is called Rachel's steakhouse, Orlando So they don't even put strip club in the title Rachel is steak house Absolutely, there are definitely people that are gonna show up and go what? My grandmother loves a nice steak, so we took grandma out for her 83rd,

and you know, next thing you know, she was having a hard time here while this girl threw a pair of panties on her head. She didn't like that. Yeah. So Rachel Steakhouse Orlando, it says Adult Entertainment Club, as in the, like that's the category

it's under on Google here. 8701 South Orange Avenue Orlando Florida and this place has 3.6 stars on Google. Okay do they have like a slogan or anything like not that I can see no no round here it's all pink. Everything's medium-rare around here. Everything's pink in the middle. Everything's pink in the middle. How do you want your lady? Mid-rare? What do you want? So first up is hybrid or high bird, one of the two. Five stars. Back from tour. Gotta go to Rachel's.

Best strip club in Orlando. Dig the renovations. The dancers change over the years. Emma is my girl. Such a hottie. How's the steak? Fucking Emma's my girl. She fucking sashayed over with her tits out and a steak in her hand.

Of course she's a my girl one thing for sure. They've got my fave sexy masseuse Maya Keeps me coming back and bringing my friends. You have a guitar here, too The people keep describing how amazing Maya and her massages are throughout all these even the one stars They're like at least Maya was good. Like, somehow Maya keeps this place top notch. I don't know if she cooks steaks or gets nude, but she sure can make your fucking neck feel better. I'm a guitarist, so she knows her shit,

working her magic fingers on my shoulders while Emma dances. Somebody feeding you grapes too? This is way too decadent. You can't, you can't do that. Right? This is too much. It's too much. This doesn't exist. This is bullshit. I don't believe it. This is the type of thing where if this is going on, you're going, it's too much. This is, I can't, I can't experience that like goods, like, Oh, this is all great. all at the same time. No, I'm too cynical for that.

Something's gonna happen. If we've got to this, I mean, Rome's gonna be burning real soon, right? That's what I mean. It's gonna be burning. Someone's, like, stealing my wallet from my pants as this is happening. Something is wrong. This can't just be...

Too much, too much Sodom. Not enough Gomorrah. You need a little Gomorrah. Bring your pal Gomorrah with you next time, will ya? These two beauties and their big smiles rock our world. Yes, the big smiles is what he's into. Left and a right smile. Yeah, those.

Fun! Exclamation point. And then the response from the owner, which by the way, this is a heavily owner responsive place. Really? Lots of talk back. Thank you, Jose. Oh no, that's the other guy, this guy.

We love having you, XOXOX. Okay. That's what they say. The owner is a lady. I hope. Rachel. Oh, it is Rachel. I guess Rachel's sake. I don't need it. I don't need Rachel's owned by Tom and Tom writing XOXO. How you doing? Why don't you come back next time? Will you? Yeah. XOo. Xoxo. I'll dance when Emma's done. It's going to be great. Jose four stars. I had been told for the longest time that the steaks are the best in all Orlando. I sincerely hope not. I sincerely hope not. I hope not. You don't. If you're one of these companies that like supplies restaurants, as soon as you see there's tits out, you're one of these companies that supplies restaurants, as soon as you see there's tits out,

you're like, give them the grade C. They won't notice there's tits. Just give them the C, we'll charge them for A, no problem. We'll tell them it's WICU. They don't fucking know the difference. Wow, my oldest son invited me to eat. That's comfortable. Come on, dad, let's get a boner together.

That's a lot of comfort. Right? I doubt it. That's what you want. You want to take your dad so someone can grind on him and make him bust in his pants. That sounds like a lot of fun. Unbelievable. Wow.

And he took me to Rachel's and hands down, besides the entertainment and the wonderful view, it is the best steakhouse in all Orlando I definitely recommend it. They said thank you Jose response from the owner Well, we're thrilled you enjoyed the steak and amazing atmosphere. We can't wait to welcome you back soon Bring your money chief all right Forget that. Wendy gives three stars. A lot of bachelorette parties going here, too.

Really? This is a really popular bachelorette party spot. Yeah, I've been to a lot of strip clubs, one that is happening, and it's like they love it because they touch the strippers. The strippers touch them. Yeah, that's pretty hilarious, though. And the strippers complimenting strippers touch them. Yeah, that's pretty hilarious though. And the stripper, I mean strippers complimenting you, it does feel good, whether you're a man or a woman.

Somebody with their shirt off, it feels nice when they're like, you're hotter than me, sure you are. It's pretty funny that we have gotten it to where women are like, yeah, I'm gonna rebel by, instead of going to where the penises are, and so I'm gonna go here and do that. And that'll show everybody, and if all the guys are like, oh yeah, no, no, don't do that, that's terrible, yeah.

That would be like if we, imagine we were having a bachelor party and we're like, let's go see some Dungs, man, yeah! Get some balls in my face! Imagine, you know what I mean? I would think the women would be like, we win, right? We won at this point? Because this is hilarious.

We got one going out to look at other dicks. Yeah, this is hilarious. Getting a steak with naked dudes. I'm sorry, Wendy, but, Wendy says, I've come here nearly monthly since 2020. Oh, she's a return vet. Food has always been great. Recently, they no longer enforce dress code

so people look like bums. There's not much variety. Yeah, sweatpants coming with fucking slides on and shit. There's not much variety in the girls anymore either. It's become disappointing when we drive over an hour to visit. An hour. An hour to go to an Orlando strip club.

Every one of them is blonde tan with like fucking. Bruises on their legs. Yeah. As we said, if you drive through, that's not really Orlando. If you drive through Tampa, it's just blonde women with legs covered in bruises. And I'm like, what is going on here? Are people beating your legs or are you getting drunk and falling down? Which one? going on here are people beating your legs are you getting drunk and falling down which one so yeah response from the owner we're sorry to hear about your

experience we have shared your comments with the staff and hope you'll come back and give us another chance that one lady yeah that's that one lady Ronald gives one star okay tits and steak and that's not good lady. Ronald gives one star. Tits and steak and that's not good enough for this guy. Not enough for the poor Ronald. And massages. You knew what you were getting. Your name's Ronald.

You know what? Be happy anyone's taking their shirt off in front of you. One star, bartender told me she stopped serving at 1.30. I see the bartender serving shots at 2.01. I ask why she's pouring shots. She responds it's- None of your fucking business, Ron. She responds it's for the staff.

You know, an after work drink. Right. Clown show. What? After you fucking leave, we need to decompress to get you out of our brains. Because you- He has the same name as McDonald.

Yeah, clown show, Ronald. He has the same name as McDonald. Yeah, Clown Show. You would know. You would know. I picture a very sad clown at the end of the bar. Staring at tits. I picture women with white makeup all over their tits and shit. Like, can we get Ronald the fuck out of here? I'm going through too many wipes tonight, man.

This is ridiculous. He doesn't get to say clown show. No, clown show. Amazing. Pathetic attempt as someone in the hospitality industry. Yeah, billion served. Like you know, yeah, believe me. I know, as they like, you know, I know.

I'm Ronald, you don't know. Me and the Hamburgler are very upset I came in with grimace about one o'clock in the morning and let me tell you something you think he looks sad normally You should see the grimace on him once Once they told him shots are for staff only That's so funny. Oh my god. He also complained there was no ball pit outside to play Understandable I guess you know you want I just wanted a slide

Response from the owner Ronald last call his last call. Sorry, buddy Which is a great response? Sorry Thomas one star went to the club on a Thursday night I had my steak as I do every year. Yeah, this is a year yearly pilgrimage to the Orlando Orlando Tits and steak. That's great. Got my bonus time to go get my boner and a t-bone Time to head over to beef boobs and boners baby. Yeah, that's right.

Which was still the best steak I ever had to this day. Oh man, you got it. Wow, this guy's got to get out of Florida. Food is always perfect. After the steak, I sat alone at one of the tables to take in the night's show. I sat there watching dancers for three hours Goddamn Wow, you're gonna go home be ready to bust one out, right? I think you are edging the shit out of your Wow and at no time while I was sitting there

Did anyone say a single word to me? That's amazing. I was gonna say and you're complaining about this You got to sit and watch tits like they were on television except they were in real life and you're complaining about this and none Of them bothered none of them bothered you no one tried to sell you anything Yeah, nobody guilted you about a lap dance for $30 that you're just gonna decline Nope, I looked as though I looked as though the dancers and bartenders only went to people that had more than one person in the group or regulars because they know there's money there.

That's why, you know if you go to a group of guys, if you go to one guy, the other guys will fucking egg him on to go do it, they know that. And the one guy sitting at the bar drinking a lonely $12 Bud Light, not tipping, they're not coming to you. He's a starer. Yeah.

He's a starer. You're the leerer guy. Yeah. You're the leerer guy. Yeah. So if you want a great steak, this is your place, but you'd probably get better service and conversation from a beverage girl at a golf course. Hey, how about stop fucking bothering women while they're working to try to make you feel

like you're a fucking stud. How about that? This is the guy that hits on the beer cart girl. Yup. That's Sarah did that back in the day at a golf course and she says, yeah, you know, she luckily she's really spunky and would make fun of the guys and have their friends laughing at them because that's who she's, you know, so she's about, but they're fucking perverts these guys.

Guys in groups while they're drunk don't usually great to ladies So I shanked it won't you go over there behind those bushes with me and look for my ball. No shit John gives one star place not good Which is great for a sentence Never mind words and sentences place not good Fire fire fire, fire. This guy has cave drawings on his walls at home.

He has lost all opportunity to write articles. Place not good. I was here today waiting about two hours. I know I'm not that perfect of a person. Oh, now I'm sad. Girls play favorite. Oh, this poor fucking guy. This dude came in from a long day of landscaping and was like...

Place not good. There's no punctuation in this whatsoever. I know I no perfect. Place not good. I was there today waiting about two hours. I know I not that perfect of a person girls play favorite He might be deaf too When he texts me he texts me text like that and it breaks my heart. Okay, but deafness does not

Do anything for reading and writing that has nothing to do with deafness What's so fucking ever? No he? texts he writes like broken English because he did that's that has nothing to do with lack of hearing at all that means he's a fucking dummy that's it and he's deaf on top of it and he's deaf on top of it the poor bastard but that's your ears don't affect your writing and your reading at all. Sign language is very similar to that, where it's not, that's how you write,

in like sign language. So it's like that. I getcha. It's just not the same. Okay. He could read books, I imagine. I thought you meant he was doing speech to text. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Which I was like, oh god, yeah. That's the first thing I thought, I was like, oh my god. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought. I was like, oh my god, Jesus, that's cold. Sign language is like broken English. It's not the same as like, there's no sign for is not here, you know what I mean? It's like, you spell that out, I imagine, but signing is fucked up.

I would hope you also learn to read and write. Like, you know what I mean? I hope you don't just teach kids to do sign language and go, oh, that's good enough, you deaf bastard. Get over there, I hope we also learn to read and write. You know what I mean? I hope you don't just teach kids to do sign language and go, well, that's good enough, you deaf bastard. Get over there, I hope we teach them everything. I think sign classes are like, it's probably more leniency on who gets an A. I think you might be right.

I don't think they're real sticklers. Let's give this poor deaf child an F, I think. Fuck him That's tough to do. Yeah, you don't want to do that Feel terrible for people that are done. So where my cousin's texted me that same that same everything he just Know I'm not perfect. Yeah, I'd still much rather be deaf than blind though. Yeah for sure Yeah, I people like but then I can't hear music terrific I can see when cars are gonna hit me and when I'm done wiping my ass great I'm done see when you need to be important shit in train. Yeah, I can see important shit. Thank you. I'm good By the time your cane touches that train. It's too late

Response from owner Hi, John. Sorry. You didn't have a great time, but don't give up. Come back and try again. Nobody has a bad time at Rachel's two times in a row. Oh Rachel, she's terrific. Come on back. She's really selling it. She said these are all one stars, just turning them into positives.

S Thomas one star, we spent an absurd amount of money with our group. 20k in parenthesis, $20,000000 are you a rapper? What are you doing? Who are you showing off to in Orlando? What are you trying to prove in Orlando? I don't understand this one buddy had his watch stolen by a dancer you fucking sucker and another Had a bag of fake drugs pushed on him by a dancer baking soda Which tells me he bought it and on him by a dancer, baking soda, which tells me he bought it and then found out it was fucking baking soda. How would you know that it was baking soda unless you rubbed that shit in your mouth

and snorted it? Don't say pushed on him. He bought it. He bought coke from a dancer. He was like, you know where there's some coke around here? And she was like, I get it for you. Yeah, no problem. It's a strip club.

She went to the fridge and got that little box in the back. It's a strip club. And she just, there you go, no problem. It's a strip club It's a strip club she just there you go baking soda. Sorry if it smells like pizza from many of our pizza parties, yeah We've also had dancers buying bottles on our card without permission and taking them backstage. So stealing No, no, no, you told them to get a drink Here's the thing you were showing off throwing money around and people were like they won't notice this fuck them right it's because grand Because you are a douche. That's the thing You're a you're a dummy who thinks that 20 grand buys you love from a stripper a cabal of douche which is really messed up because you could go and

You could buy the love of many women for $20,000 a hundred percent. Yeah, that was temporary But yeah, if you wanted to be fucking a pervert go for it down You're down the road from where 20 grand will give you a magical day But without tits Yeah, but but the most many might many might leave with you You don't know the most magic you can have without tits in your face is there isn't that the Magic Kingdom slogan usually? I don't know you might be able to get Elsa to go home for 20 grand fuck shit response from the owner dear kind sir

Please thank you for your business We hope you got your we we hope you got our security team involved because if this happened We want to make sure we address immediately. Please contact contact us at info at Rachel's Orlando comm to discuss further Yeah, which which gal sold the Jesus that's what's hilarious Steal like these guys are tools. Think about what tools they thought you are. They could steal on you and fucking take your champagne

and shit and steal your watch and sell you fake coke and have your dumb ass walk out the door and not even notice. That's how, that's the vibe you give off, stupid. And wait till tomorrow morning when you wake up, feel the regret and write a review. Feel the regret as you try to get the glitter off of your face. Ah, Jesus. Steven One Star.

Turned away after some dude who looked like he was in high school wanted to wand me for weapons at the door. Professional people with money don't go to places where they get wandered for weapons. If you live in Florida, you do because that's everywhere. They want you for weapons everywhere in Florida because it's Florida. If you're going into a strip club with a pocket full of cash, maybe you'd like to know that you're safe in there. No matter what neighborhood you're in, if you're in a strip club, you're in the worst

part of that neighborhood. That particular property is the worst part of the neighborhood so yeah, and if you're in your pocket Maybe you want to make sure that nobody coming in has a metal object I would say so I mean they get it's a strip We've gone to like we did a show in Orlando in a nice place And they fucking made us go through the metal detectors and wand us like we're gonna kill our own audience How the show until one comedian does that stop doing that venues? Please until one comedian and our hair at all at all, but especially comedians Yeah, until one of them starts murdering their audience wholesale from the stage leave us the fuck alone

I'm sorry Yeah, we're not doing're only a threat to ourselves yes we don't even want to be here we're upset we're in yes so we didn't want to come here we don't like your town what are you talking about I rode a plane to murder people in yeah Lando you want to be you think this that comic wants to be at hilarities in Cleveland while you're fucking no nobody wants that That's bad. That's sad. They tell their friends. They go. Oh that sucks. Well, let me know how the weekend goes You'd be better you'd be happier too, that's the thing. We'd all be happier. Kind of a no-brainer to stay away.

I guess people who run strip clubs never admit to mistakes either. Unapologetically stupid and arrogant. Okay. Alright, response from owner. Rachel let him have it. Let's do it. We would like to apologize if the security measures in place made you feel uncomfortable.

The safety and wellbeing of our guests is our top priority and we have implemented these measures to ensure a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone. While we understand this may not be a preferred experience for some of our guests, we believe that the added level of security ultimately benefits all visitors. Yeah.

Take that, dummy. The other part that I just thought of is men are fucking crazy. And let's say you go in there one night. Corny men are even crazier. Right, Emma's doing a great job and you're getting your shoulders rubbed and you think you can take both of them home and then you leave and they don't

fucking call you because you gave them your number, you dipshit. And then you come back angry and slighted. You're gonna come in with a gun fuck you Nothing is as angrier than a rejected man with a hard dick nothing Rejected and charged and charged yeah, that's an angry man guy who goes to this place is That can be angry so Alison one star this club was kind of busy, good looking girls, but unfortunately, they seemed kind of rude.

That's the other thing, girls all think that the girls should like come over and treat them special. You know? They didn't even try to finger me, it's my favorite. Yes, crazy, because they think they're special because they went to a strip club, and it's like, listen, tons of chicks go to strip clubs, you're not special.

You understand, I'm a cool girl. Yeah, what's that, oh god, I can't remember which fucking animated show it was, but it was a cutaway to Yeah, you know this is worse than that one chick in the office who thinks she's cool because she went to the strip club And she's like I'm totally cool at this guys isn't this great aren't I the coolest I'm totally okay with this This is totally cool, and all the guys are like Like why won't she go away? It's like yeah, this is the best. I love it. I don't care family guy

It's probably family guy. I don't know right probably I don't know I saw it 15 years ago So maybe so they said they seem kind of rude was there for 15 minutes and spent over $150 That is ten bucks a minute my friend. That's very easy easy I was there the I was the only person tipping and not one time that I get told. Thank you You're not going to know no. Thank you is I have my tits out. That's thank you. Yeah, you're you're not tipping you're paying You're yeah, no VIP rooms for private dances. The girls barely danced, which is understandable if you're not getting tipped But you still should have some excitement or maybe show off a bit to get attention You know, we get on there, get a job,

Allison, what are you doing? Drinks were overpriced and were definitely not made right. It does look nice, but a lot of other things sucked. I tipped a girl $20 and didn't even stay at the stage as I was walking out, she was sitting at a table by herself, didn't even bother to try to talk to me or my friend. Not her job. What are you doing? Not her job

She sounds like a guy good potential but could use some work nice bartender and bouncers though I currently work at the Gold Nugget in Panama City Beach and we put this place to shame all the way around Yeah, she's like you should talk to me Okay Justin one-star obviously the owner or should I say social media rep, is biased. All you do is downplay everyone's experience. It's complete BS.

Just because your patron had a bad experience, you blame it on them. If they had a good experience, you're so quick to gloat. Sounds like a shady joint to me. Response from the owner. This is not true, Justin, we take all feedback seriously. All serious feedback that is. Winky face.

Suck a dick Steve or Justin or whatever your name is. Santiago one star. Is the best response from the owner. Young girls seeking a rich old man. Sasha, yeah that's okay. That's their job, yeah. Sasha, I think that was her name at the place. Even asked me for the phone number.

Not the phone number. Yours or the, which one? They personally call you and text you to come be with them. No class, dirty girls with daddy's issues." Daddy's issues. Daddy's issues. With the parentheses, with the apostrophe and everything. So I mean this is... They inherited daddy's issues. Daddy's issues. Response from the owner, young hot girl seeking company of men. Yep, sounds like us. Smiley face. Yep, that's exactly what we do. And

yes, that is how they cultivate customers. Yeah, they're like a bartender who tells announces on social media, I'm working here tonight, so their following will come there. That's what these ladies are doing. A lot of these ladies work at multiple clubs, so they text their regulars and they say, hey, I'll be at this place tonight in a group text, I'm sure. That seems like good marketing in this business I don't know yeah Debo one star Let me start off by saying that I would never recommend this place to anybody on top of the girls on top of the girls

Bean rude bean Be an Bin but I said bean just to make it a, they've been rude. The girls basically robbed me. They grabbed some more, some money I had on the table without my permission and threw it on each other. Oh, that's a fun move, that's clever. And when I asked for the money to be returned to me,

they said that it was a tip. Nope. Nope, you'd never get it. Once it's on the stage, it's out of your hands, brother., they said that it was a tip. Nope. Nope. You'd never get it. Once it's on the stage, it's out of your hands, brother. That's how. That was a fun trick. Can I have that back? No, no, no.

I never authorized them to do that with over $200. I will be calling management to complain myself. And if I have to call the police, do not go here. Devo's a snitch now, geez. Wow. And then finally, Michael, one star, terrible service, steak overcooked, soup like water. Terrible. It's a titty bar. Stupid. He's complaining about the soup at a titty bar. You ate soup? The soup. Like it's a fucking oh my god. Gross. Soup. Stale cigars and staff rudely asked me to move multiple times due to my cigar smoke. Nothing like

West Palm. Don't waste your time. Go to bed. Oh go to bed. Just go to bed he's telling you. Just go beat off and fall asleep. fucking it's so much cheaper and easier fuck it Okay, so let's leave the strip club. We need you know they are I Feel like the walls are closing in on me You know what I mean the ceiling and everything and there's cigar smoke and you know my watch is gone I feel terrible right now how people got the wrong idea of what a strip club is because all of those explanations of what happened That's what it's that's what it is and you expect that you expect it going to strip clubs like going to the airport Yeah, it's gonna be that's whatever the fucking rules are in there as weird as they may are camp

I can have water here, but I can't have it here I can have a knife here, but I can't take it through oh whatever the fucking stupid They're their rules, and you have to do it because that's their fucking building. That's it Yeah, cuz you're about to do something amazing fly You're gonna fly through the fucking air which is as about as amazing as seeing a strange woman's tits voluntarily Just showing them to you in your face Never met her no game nothing. She just said look at this Be happy. So let's get some air, Jimmy. Let's get some air. Let's get the smell of

weird perfume cigars and glitter out of our fucking body and let's go to the park. Oh yeah. Let's go to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Oh, sounds nice. Let's do this shit. Golden Gate Park is an urban park between the Richmond and Sunset districts of San Francisco. It is the largest park in the city containing 1,017 acres and the third most visited urban park in the United States with an estimated 24 million visitors annually I assume central would be one and I don't know what the fuck two would be but no idea No clothes probably something in LA. I'll bet it's like we're just just because or something. Just because there's so many people there, yeah. Probably, yeah. Some shit like that. So it was formed in 1870, the park.

They made it, that's about when they were doing park stuff, because that's about when they started Central Park and all that shit too. This place has 4.8 stars out of 43,000 reviews. Nice. And it's a, I've been to Golden Gate Park, it's very nice, it's a very nice park. You deal with shit, that park, you know,

you deal with that park like strangers in nature and stuff but outside of that, it's really nice. Our pick, here's the first review, Five Stars. An amazing park. If you wanna be alone with nature, listen to the birds singing, watch ducks, hear the rustle of the wind and just have a good time with friends, this large, beautiful, well-maintained park is the place for you.

We enjoyed a three-hour walk in the park, saw beautiful plants, and had our lunch on a green lawn. Nature always brings a boost of energy and tranquility. You will love it. Okay. Wow. There's like a lake here. It's nice.

Nice park. Yeah. On Golden P a lake here and it's nice. Nice part. Yeah. On golden pond with with urine in it though. Yeah. On urine. That's why it's golden is the problem. Karen five stars just so beautiful and so many routes to walk. Various different terrains and things to look at. Lots of wildlife, places to play sports, lovely lakes, massive trees. We spent hours here just wandering around, okay? Wandering around this joint. We walked all the way through and ended up at the beach at the end of it, stopping off for dinner at a spot not far from the beach. We loved it.

That sounds like a great day. All right, now they're not so good. One star. And I'll show you a picture of their experience. There that is right there. Is that their car? That is their car. Oh no.

Glass everywhere. That's not good. Okay. Super upset with our San Francisco experience this year. Didn't expect the Golden Gate Park to throw rocks and steal luggage. And then a laughing face. Yeah, this isn't the park's fault. This is people fault here.

Yeah, that's not the park. George, one star. Okay, one star. First of all, he reviewed in November 2019, Nice Park. That's it. Then he revisited it in November of 2023. The park remains lovely and nice. However, the place is taken over by thieves and crooks. Right. Thieves and crooks broken into my car, which was parked

outside the botanical gardens and broad daylight broad daylight stole everything from it. So great attention. Do not leave anything in the car, do not, not even a toothbrush. Oh. Okay. Steal your toothbrush. Well, steal your toothbrush. Miguel one star, our van was broken into in broad daylight. Seems like a theme that goes on here.

It's a thousand square acres? It's an acre, a thousand acres. It's huge. It's a big fucking park. People are smart and know that you're gonna park your car and walk the fuck away. Walk walk away and a lot of people are Tourists they have their luggage in the car. They are in the park. They leave laptops and shit. Yeah Our windows of our van were busted out and they took all our luggage because you left luggage in the car

Which the first thing any city they'd say is don't leave fucking obviously valuable items in your car. Stupid. That's just... Probably a minivan, not a windowless van. So they could probably look in and go, this motherfucker left their luggage. Obviously it'd be great if we could all just leave our front doors open and fucking luggage in our cars. But in the reality of the world, you can't do that.

You need to be careful out there in the in the universe people a couple of black guys in a luxury type vehicle okay well yeah I don't know they must have been rappers or something I'm sure I think it was Lil Wayne there was a guy parked in front of us and told us that so just secondhand I Saw some black guys in a nice car close by We think he was part of a gang The guy in front of them that told him about this. Maybe he stole your shit stupid ever think of that Yeah, was it a white guy in a van with tattoos? Yeah, it was probably that guy. That's probably that guy Ruined our vacation left us Left all of us with nothing. This happened on Wednesday, June 14th, 2023.

We did file a police report. Well, that's useless. Okay. Jacobo. Jacobo. Jacobo, no. One star. It was a nice park,

but that park and the surrounding areas are filled by homeless people who are either drunk, high, or both. Yeah, that's where homeless people go. There are people walking down the street getting high like it's no problem. That's not that hard to get high. That's why. Yeah, it's not a problem.

Really, it's pretty easy. They work, I promise. Drugs work. That's why people do them. They definitely work. I was not happy that I had taken my little boy there I won't be visiting that park or that that part of it says Park of Town But I think part of town on my next trip to San Francisco

Okay, this next one. Oh boy the park op ellipse here. Here we go one star from Cher I mean, obviously she's got high standards That's all it is. Since Sonny died, she's had a lot of free time. Yeah, so whatever. Golden Gate Park used to be this childhood treasure of good times. So now it's nostalgia you're fighting.

Yeah, right. If I said everything that's not as good as it was when I was eight, there'd be a lot of shit. And you're making all that shit, everything today live up to your childhood? Yeah, that's, I mean, seeing it through your eyes of shit. And you're making all that shit, everything today live up to your childhood? Yeah, that's I mean, seeing it through your eyes of whatever. Now it's a desolate apocalypse of a park, park-o-p-lips. It's cool parks, it's cool parks where enormous crowds of children are now plastic and almost derelict. Okay, you have to check for needles and razors.

Whatever you do, don't go at night unless you are a crime fighter looking for a rapist, a druggy, a prostitute, or a serial killer. Yeah, unless you're Batman. Yeah, all the serial killers hang out there. Patrick one star, not worth the unsafe trip here. Park for 15 minutes and come back to a broken back window and luggage gone Okay, stupid luggage again dummy. It sounds safe

It's just your shit will get stolen your shit will get stolen if you leave it in plain sight in a car Just like any major city in fucking America any happen in your fucking driveway Jesus police will only take a report over the phone. happens so much they won't come out to the scene Locals say it happens all every day. It's a I wouldn't leave my luggage in my car. That's what you do Be safe and go somewhere else. All right, go on go on then Suzanne one star we parked our rental car by the entrance to the Botanical Gardens again rental car right away Our car had all our luggage and a few laptop bags We left thousands of dollars of shit in plain sight

On the street again. You should be able to do that, but honestly there's not a lot of places you can You went fishing for a thief and you caught one you just weren't around to really around Listen to what they left in their car listen to how obviously just not Worldly these people are include a few laptop bags like we said There's that someone broke the back passenger window and took two laptops a satchel with passports credit cards, etc Why are you leaving that in a rental car in a strange city? Did you leave a burlap sack with a money sign on it in there too? What the f- you might as fucking well have and a giant bag of coke, a fucking- a kilo

all bricked up on the front seat. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, this is your bad. I would- if someone told me that I would laugh in their face, I'd go, well you're the dumbest person I've ever heard. Nice job, Rube. That's what I'd say. What the fuck?

My friends who lost the most had just finished a trip all over San Francisco where they did not once feel unsafe No, because it never it doesn't James. We were just there last year and I walked down the Tenderloin like it's the part Yeah, never felt unsafe. There is like one bad neighborhood in San Francisco and somehow It's become this crazy thing that everybody keeps talking about Oh my god, it's a hellscape. It's completely fine There was walked right through it two three women walking around by themselves at the 11 o'clock at night Nobody bothering them and they weren't like working or anything just they were coming from our shows and don't look like a victim And they'll leave you the fuck alone and stay out of the bad neighborhood. I think yeah

Also, there's that why the fuck would you be going there anyway unless you're buying? Yeah heroin Which if you're not aware of where you are that's on you. Yeah, you're a dummy and that's on you Where they did not once feel unsafe and they vowed never to go back to San Francisco It was it baffles that a well-known it baffles that it's a well-known fact that there's a lot of robberies in the park, so why not put more police monitoring on bikes, cars, horses, cameras for starters? We call police and they never showed,

so we had to go hunt down a police station. Yeah, the park sucks. You are the dumbest person ever is what that is. Literally, I wouldn't leave that shit in my driveway. And no one's bothering my driveway. I still wouldn't do it. Mike one star. Full of people behaving like morons and a police force that's gotta be the laziest I've

seen. Not kid friendly. A park that's interesting. There are thousand places in California that are worth visiting more than this, at least until they figure out how to make it safe. Unfortunately, tourism is booming as such they're not doing anything to change anything. You would think what the tourism industry showing record numbers they would do more to keep these places safe and clean. I would suggest staying away from San Francisco as a whole.

Oh, as a whole, okay. As a whole, just because I went to this park and felt uncomfortable, so just stay out of the whole city. You would think, James, that if a business model is working, they would make it better. You just, yeah, you gotta change it then. It needs improvement. It's fucking working, man.

Needs improvement, yeah, that's why McDonald's has updated so much in the last 90 years, because it's never been working. Teresa Onestar didn't go to the park. My friend and I drove by. It looked the same when I was a little girl, that when the guy showed up who played the peanut song on the piano, I must have been 10 years old.

I loved that park. The park was clean and well maintained What the fuck are you talking about? So you gave it one star because you loved it when you were a kid and you drove by and it looked the same as When you were a kid when you loved it. So one star a man showed up to play the penis song for you the penis song What the fuck is that about was that Robin Williams doing street comedy back in the day? What the fuck are you talking about? How old are you? George, one star.

The people at the food court sold something I already ordered chicken bakes. That's the sentence. Let's try to unpack that. The people at the food court sold something I already ordered chicken bakes. Not any better the second time, I don't know what to say there. I saw them. Chicken bakes, yeah. Chicken bakes.

I saw them literally sell the one I ordered 10 minutes ago to a new customer and they didn't even wait online. Bad service from that side and badly managed. Filing a complaint. Okay, is there a food court at the park? The fuck are you talking about? I think there's restaurants around it.

This is great. Audra one star. Too much noise from the city workers with their big white trucks and chainsaws. I go to the park to relax, not to feel as though I'm surrounded by lumberjacks. They're improving the parks. Yeah, they're the park maintenance people.

When you go, oh, it's beautiful here. That's why. It's so beautiful on its own. They should do that at night when I'm asleep and not here. They should fire up the chainsaws at three in the morning when everyone's trying to fucking sleep around there. Rovina one star, this happened to me today in Golden Gate Park. This, please avoid going to this park

because it's very dangerous. It doesn't have cameras and the police doesn't help at all. It is a park that any tourist need to avoid. This happened to me. We don't know. They just never told us. There's no picture attached to it. I wish I fucking knew. John one star. Filipina cashier has a very bad attitude and extremely rude at Japanese Tea Garden. How the heck does she get away with it? First of all, I am going to give you a lot of credit for even though it was a Japanese

Tea Garden, you figured out that she was a Filipina, not just saying she's Japanese. That's pretty impressive right there. I can feel how angry you are that a Filipina is selling Japanese shit. That's doesn't like it. How the heck does she get away with that? This review is just me inside you. That's nice. That's the name.

One star, beautiful, but asked to buy pot so many times. Thanks, but I have too much to lose. Actually they say, they actually say I have too much to lose because they can't spell. So. Congratulations, I'm looking like somebody that's holding. That's, no, no, no, ask to buy pot. Like you should buy some from me. You're looking for someone who's in the market.

Yeah, you look like somebody that smokes weed, that's cool. Which I've never been offered weed in San Francisco because there's fucking dispensaries everywhere. Why the fuck? A homeless guy once offered to sell me weed at like three in the morning, but I was like, I went to the dispensary today. He's like, all right, you're covered then. I was like, yeah, I don't need your fucking weed, dude.

What are you talking about? John, one star. I love this one. Watch out for horribly alcoholic Park Ranger. What? This is great. He was so drunk he fell out of his four wheeler. Awesome!

That's awesome. The guy probably had a massive aneurysm and dropped dead. This guy's like fucking drunks everywhere. Look at this guy. Oh man, um, and then finally, John, one star, lots of drug dealers asking if you want to buy drugs. Wow. So five stars. Good.

Excellent. That's great. That's terrific. Yeah. They're not forcing them on you. No. It's nice to know that they're available. I walk by a restaurant just because it's open doesn't mean I have to eat there.

It's nice to know there's a restaurant around. Oftentimes somebody on the street is saying, we have specials, come on in and have a look. What about the guys spinning signs and shit? What about them? I'd rather have this. Yeah. Okay so there we go we've gotten our fresh air we've got plenty of drugs we're feeling good. Oh boy pockets full. We made sure to bring our laptops with us into the park so we weren't taken from the car. We weren't complete morons. So now that we've done that, let's go get tortured. What do you say? What? Let's go to the Torture Museum.

What is this? It is a torture museum. I don't understand. That's hard to... The Museum of Torture. Let me show you the picture. Where the fuck is this? That it shows you a spiky chair that you're held

on and like that's a torture device I assume this this is in this is 40 sing single four four nine one oh one two WP Amsterdam Netherlands yeah it's definitely I was trying to figure out the address and how to do it. A collection of 40 pain-inflicting instruments from the Middle Ages, such as the rack and the guillotine. And the guillotine, so. All they've got is 40 of them? 40 plus.

I guess if they're big and you can make a spectacle out of them, but how long can you look at it, really? Right. 40, that's like 10 minutes to walk through this. Only has 3.3 stars out of 3,382 stars I feel like it's just near the Anne Frank house and they're like look Come on in here, too Yeah, come on. I'm things she was too young to experience. Yeah shit. She was trying to avoid here

Becks five stars a historical fascinating and disturbing place, a quaint and cozy museum perfect for anyone interested in medieval torture methods. It wasn't too busy when we were when we went on a Saturday evening overall wonderful. Also the information was in various different languages which was helpful which how many languages do you need? One person. Do they have the one you read great? Fucking a it opens till 11 p.m.. So there's plenty of chances to visit here Alright, and there's pictures. She's got the same picture of the torture chair that seems to be a popular one

Rebecca here we go Five stars loves it worth the money crazy place hard to believe what people used to be put through. That's all, whole review. And she has like a picture like from the outside, which it looks very unimpressive, that's about it. Most people probably didn't survive these things, right? I would think not, no, I think they're torture to death type of things, like a rack and the shit like that's not meant to be survived. Yeah, the guill're torture to death type of things, like a rack and the shit like that's not meant to be

survived. Yeah, the guillotine's not, you don't do that. Well, the rack's, I think the rack is actually meant to be survived, just meant to be like broken and fucking tortured on it. Yeah. Jeremy, three stars, nice, but not Museum of the Year. Oh, okay.

Listen, I'm on the awards council here in Amsterdam, and I'm not giving this fucking thing in Museum of the Year It's not getting Madame Tussauds is better than this. It's better than this piece of shit And Frank's house is just a fucking attic. You know what I mean? It's an attic. There's nothing up there What are you gonna do? The wax is so good. Justin Timberlake looks drunk. Oh forget about it. That's how good Yeah, if you have time take a look there You will learn a lot of information about period torture. Oh, that's my least favorite kind. That's the grossest torture you're ever going to find.

Yeah. You think you're fat all day. Oh, you just think you're fat now that you're bloated, nothing fits. It's terrible. Nobody likes me. Nobody likes you. Got the shits too. It's not good.

And what's more, you will see a lot of torture utensils large and small Which are quite cold in the back Quite cold. Oh, it's a time up. I guess not quite cold to top it all off It's one of the rare activities that won't cost you an arm and a leg in Amsterdam Seven euros fifty for an entry ticket with the reduction coupon, otherwise nine 50 is largely acceptable for this city. Yeah, that's not bad at all. That's a euro right now is like even with the dollar.

Is it really? Yeah, yeah, so that's, wow, that took a while to get to. Aurora, three stars, disappointing museum. It's expensive to pay a ticket to see exhibitions without entertainment. She wants to see people be tortured in these devices. I need somebody sitting in that chair. What did you expect? You were going to see torture? 30 minutes is enough to do the tour while reading the text poorly translated into French.

Alright, so there's that. Ebony three stars. It's extremely short Also, very dark with only faint LED lighting you could barely see anything I don't know about anyone else, but I really struggle to see in that sort of lighting. I don't know about you for me Really struggled see it in that lighting. Is it a lighting problem, Jimmy? It was dark. It was dark and I don't know, I couldn't find it.

Weirdly dark. The descriptions of the torture devices were very short and not always good. I expected more information. I was expecting a lot more for the price, to be honest. Wouldn't recommend. I need body a lot more for the price to be honest wouldn't recommend I need body counts of each of these items. She put a picture of this. I was at the mic here She put a picture of that up though My god, what is yeah, it looks like something you'd make dough on yeah

It looks like with spikes on it rollers with spikes. No, there's no way to slide underneath it It looks like it could it's like almost on the touch in the table No, I mean like I think you'd go on top of it I guess and it were do they like force people under it and it just like murders them I don't even know how that would fucking work. I don't know. That is weird medieval wood chipper Kind of yeah, I don't know. What the fuck it really looks like you're laying out giant sheets of pizza dough, right? You put out through there and you need some holes. Carmen, two stars.

It was too short for the ticket price, which was 9.50 euros. Could have used more dolls for the torturing devices. What? Do you want to see things go through these things? Wow. Or some dark music sounds. It would have been more interesting. Oh, you needed to be scary.

You could play some, yeah. You should play some like Haunted Mansion Disneyland music there, right? I need some moan, some crying. Yeah, some like organ music. A lot of people screaming, no please stop. Every once in a while. In the background. I couldn't even come.

Oh god. Oh man. So yeah, no wait time though so that that's good That's nice Nick two stars Cute gimmick, but really nothing here Cute I don't think it's cute. This museum is very short. The signs are low poly blurry screen Okay Captures of drawings from the internet. It's also dead quiet. No music or sounds. They need a little music

Everybody wants it to be creepy in there. Well, you just want something to fill the space I think yeah, you want some kind of anywhere you are video Yeah, even if you go to a restaurant there is music lightly playing in the background just to fill the space Usually at a level that doesn't overwhelm conversation, but it's enough to where if it wasn't there, you'd notice it. You don't really notice, oh, that's Billy Joel, fucking scenes from Italian restaurant playing.

You don't really notice it, but if they stopped it, you'd be like, what happened to Billy Joel? Where'd he go? Were you even listening to that? Not really, but now I know he's not there. Now I know, I wanted to hear what happened to the people in the song. What happened? They're still going steady in the summer of 75, that's the last I heard.

I don't know what's going on after that. Brenda and Eddie, there's a lot of problems. Fuck it, never mind. You want Italian now? No, I want Italian. Let's go there. A bottle of red and a bottle of white and call it a day. What do you say? Megan, one star. And she spells Megan M-A-G-E-N.

Megan? That's not how you spell that at all. This place was very, very underwhelming. Double very. There is no airflow, so it felt very stuffy. Okay. There's also no background music or soundtrack to enhance the ambiance. Yeah, just walking around in a quiet room. Yeah. Also, when it's quiet like that, you talk lower. Because it's quiet.

Yeah, like a library. Yeah. So you talk lower. If they put a little music in, you'd feel more comfortable, probably. Maybe they should put like videos of somebody telling you about the torture device. That would be nice. Yeah. Put up interactive little things. You press a button and you know, this is what this does and yeah. There's also no background music.

Okay, it's not interactive at all. It's a torture museum. How the fuck would that be interactive? They're torture devices. I wanted to put my kid in the fucking guillotine. Good God, do you know the fucking paper you'd have to sign before you walked in there if this was interactive?

And all the descriptions of each piece are not very clear. The descriptions are in multiple languages, however So that was helpful. All these people want multiple languages. That's good It's definitely not stroller friendly, but they will hold your stroller at the front door for you. I don't recommend going If it was interactive you wouldn't be able to take a child that needs a fucking stroller I would hope not Jesus. They shouldn't see this shit. Why are you taking them anyway? Slavo one star very goofy Alright extremely bad explanations sometimes completely irrelevant to what is shown which is not explained at all

All right, it's just some Wikipedia copy pasted quote info Sometimes completely irrelevant to what is shown, which is not explained at all. It's just some Wikipedia copy pasted quote info. The museum is very very narrow with no proper ventilation, feels a bit claustrophobic. Translations are awful with missing and imprecise words in some languages. The cashier also wasn't particularly nice. This museum is not worth more than a five bucks entry. Like I got robbed for 450. This guy's upset about Max one star waste of time and money. No actual objects. Everything is replicas. What do you want? People's fucking

blood on the ship. Wow. Like we got this from a castle where they used to torture people with it. Is that what you want? Yeah. This is the one that Henry the AFB headed wives with. Oh, isn't this great? Wow. Yeah.

No actual objects. Everything is replicas with poorly lit information boards printed in 240p. Yeah, you could do a little update on this probably with that shit. Don't waste your money in here. Can walk through the entire quote museum in five minutes. You nailed it from the start Jimmy, you had it.

Youna one star. Just a scam to take money and time from tourists. Printed information from Wikipedia on a wall with a description of the most popular tortures from the past and torture instrumentals, or sorry very silent no music narrow corridors and when it's crowded you just feel yourself I feel yourself in a line to read the next description from wiki printed on paper on a wall real torture so then five stars you wanted you wanted torture you got it five fucking stars You you wanted you wanted torture. You got it five fucking stars They said it's a torture museum and I don't like that. That is the most fucking hacky stupid insult now is

This is for Wikipedia. Yeah Fuck you. Yes a lot of Wikipedia because it is sourced from wherever but the thing is a lot of stuff on Wikipedia If you follow it to its attribution at the bottom and then check that article or that source, you can do that, that's what makes it nice. You don't have to look at the other, you can ignore the shit that doesn't have a checkable. So I wish people would do that. I don't think people do that though.

I think they just read it and think, oh man, that's real, oh shit. Make that all fact when you can just edit that at any time. At any time, you gotta go down, you gotta go to the article, make sure that also has articles that at any time. At any time. You gotta go down, you gotta go to the article, make sure that also has articles that back that up. There's a whole, actual research takes, fuck. Takes time.

I wish I didn't know how to do it, but I had to learn for small-town murder because that shit you can get like, you know, people upset about murders and get sued over if you say the wrong thing. So, you know, you gotta make sure shit's true and right. Anyway, Yana, one star, very small, not worth the price paid.

It's barely a five minute walk with a total, a walk total for seven and a half euros, while the sex museum is five euros and four floors. And this person really likes the sex museum because one of the pictures they took a picture of is someone Taking like a big giant fucking iron pincher and it's they have it on someone's nipple Like a middle-aged and pre middle-aged nipple fucking ripper there

With a big giant pair of pliers It's fucking crazy Jake one star this person person is long winded here. Okay, Jake. The torture museum in Amsterdam was somewhere I was genuinely excited about visiting. I had booked this through Get Your Guide. And I was counting down the days when I got to go. Wow.

Wow. That sounds awesome. Legal prostitution and this is what you're going there for? Can't wait to see a torture rack That's a replica The tickets came digitally through my phone app and I came into the building and it was quite dark I got my ticket scanned and then was sent on my way It felt abandoned and disused if I'm being honest

Now I visited many museums in the past and the point of a museum is to inform and educate you. Thanks museums in the past and the point of a museum is to inform and educate you. Thanks, Chief. Appreciate that. What did you get that from Wikipedia? Yeah, that's from museum to put to inform and educate you. And they make a bit of an effort with the designs to ensure the customers, especially paying customers, are there non-paying customers, can have an experience but most of the designs were pieces of paper stapled to the wall. Some pieces of equipment were real, but I felt they could have put more time and thought as to how to draw the most impact rather than it being scattered along the pathway. I read some of the reviews, one of them being Low Budget Museum, and that's exactly the best way to describe this place. If you want more horror and more

Spookiness I would recommend visiting Amsterdam during the weekend in the summer Or go to the Anne Frank house. That sounds horrifying think about what went on there, you know Fuck that's that's that's fucking scary He's like a horror tourist evidently. I guess he wants to see like gory shit. I don't know Sydney one star this was by far the worst quote museum Calling this a museum is incredibly generous I have ever been to the price was outrageous for what was presented none of the items quote displayed Seemed authentic and the pictures on the walls were of terrible quality

I would strongly suggest that no one comes here. No one's allowed here. A lot of people have the 10 minutes or under to walk through it. That's a common complaint. Common complaint. Not very authentic. These people really really want like bloody authentic things and they want it packed in there with spooky music I need body counts and I need the actual item and I need I need blood samples and a DNA specialist telling me when when and where this this blood came from it really seems like just Getting yourself a fucking Alexa or whatever and fucking setting it up With one shitty little speaker would change dramatically the entire place fucking setting it up with one shitty little speaker would change

Dramatically the entire place Because if it feels cheap and all that that's what music sets a tone That's why it's in movies and shit. It makes you feel things that you didn't realize you were feeling so yeah It's also why rest at a tone hire a DJ for the night or somebody with a guitar. It's changes something changes a vibe It's something Very very interesting here. I've seven minutes everybody seven minutes seven minutes seven minutes That's it must be seven fucking minutes. How long it takes to get here Daniel one star total punishment So bad the attendant didn't wait for us to return. She was too ashamed of herself She slinked off behind and hid behind one of the fucking devices.

950? I gotta go. Don't go. Save your money on some good weed. So I like we've been told to get some good weed and go to bed so far. I like that. That's great. And then the last one.

Douglas, one star. Save your money and use it for toilet paper. At least you'll feel like it was more useful than visiting the torture museum. They won't even wipe your ass. Get shit on it and flush it away and you'll feel better about yourself there. So, holy shit, there we go. That's a lot of fun there.

Should we start? We can start on one and we'll finish one up next week, I think, here. What is it? If you want, we got a shitty liquor store. Okay. Let's go to a liquor store okay let's go to a liquor store because we need to get drunk after this experience we've had all of our shit stolen we've been tortured it's tough let's go to Bay Way

world of liquor where's that at it is in Elizabeth New Jersey 639 Bay Way it closes at 8 o'clock okay it's on Bay Way so it's Bayway. So it's Bayway. Okay, got it. Yeah, Bayway Lickers. Micah five stars. Nice selection of wine. Although there was no Willamette Valley estate Pinot Noir. First of all, I love a Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. That's number one. We, we've had that before too. Many times if you're in Portland, they, it's really, really fucking good. So that's funny, but it's really funny that this person's like, well there's no Willamette Valley estate Pinot Noir at some ghetto ass fucking liquor store in New Jersey. Which

I was seeking. I will still return. The cashier was extremely pleasant and did not hesitate to assist me as I searched for my items. That's customer service. Bring me my correct Pinot Noir. Renae 5 stars. Tons of parking. Everything you're looking for is well stocked. They also sell gift sets for birthdays and holidays plus stocking stuffers.

Actually she says stocking staffers. Totally different. If you don't see something you're looking for, ask. They are very helpful. Okay. Except if you want a pinot noir. We'll lamb it. Here is Kevin four stars. Used to feature great deals. Not so in recent times. I'm finding better deals on the Staten Island side of the bridge Well, go ahead and head yourself over there then mr. Enjoy sides of that bridge require booze to get through it get through that shit. Enjoy two stars from Megan

worst liquor store in Elizabeth Oh I figured since it was supposed to be the quote biggest selection I went in looking for something different so I walked up to what looked like the manager Sitting down kicking his legs back and forth talking to what looked like another employee Sounds like a manager and employee or two employees or who fucking cares ask if they have shit right? He didn't he doesn't even acknowledge that we exist fine So I quickly say I'm looking for something new ish and I usually like this certain drink He said the store has nothing new and to come back during the holidays

Fuck out of here is what he said your pain of my eyes about as new as it gets lady She went up to a guy who owns a ghetto liquor store and was like I usually like this type of drink Do you have what's similar to that? I'm not a fucking bartender. Okay, I sell bottles not I don't know that's would be the answer I don't fucking know No, you ask a bartender. I usually like this type of drink. What do you know something similar? That's a bar Not a liquor store guy. They just I sell booze. I don't sell they go you want bottle of what? Because I've never met a liquor store guy. I sell booze, I don't sell experiences. They go, you want bottle of what? Because I've never met a liquor store guy who's from America. Yeah, it's America.

Which one what you want? Wines, what do we have? Things for you, anything. You want liquor, beer, or wine, which? Which one? Have three, all three, get for you. Let's go. So, yeah, he doesn't even acknowledge.

He said, come back, LOL what? If someone came into my store asking that question, I would have made literally anything up to make a sale. I'm a moron and would have bought shit, is what she just said. Plus he spoke to other customers and the girls behind the registers like they were worthless as well.

It seems extremely toxic, get rid of him. He's probably the owner, stupid. That's why you don't get rid of him because he owns the place. Cecilia, if he was sitting down that's the owner. Owner sits. That's how that works. Cecilia one star. Well, this was not good. I specifically ordered a 2016 vintage from their website with no vintage substitution. I received 2017 oh Motherfuckers Jimmy, that's it. I'm hitting stop right now. We're gonna go burn this place to the fucking ground Let's get up and over chairs the 2017 was a dry year and the grapes are not good

Grapes tastes like my fucking balls. No, not happening. We're going to the car, we're burning this place down. I won't accept this, I won't. I can't take it anymore. Even the order form that came in the box said 2016, not good business to do this. Oh.

Poof, how dare they? The box and the order form said 2016, the product was 2017. Perhaps the place you ordered from put the wrong bottle in the fucking box lately. Or they're out of 2016 and they go, what kind of a psychopath cares? What kind of a fucking lunatic gives a fuck about 365 days? Does it really matter? I get if you're a goddamn wine aficionado. Yeah, and if this bottle was five hundred dollars you shouldn't be shopping for your wine at the shit

Like a shit hole liquor store in Elizabeth, New Jersey then don't a better wine store Don't shop for your booze at a place called the street the fucking liquor store the street and then liquor Probably bad. Oh My god Lm one star horrible experience the street and then liquor. Probably bad. Oh my God. LM one star. Horrible experience. Cashier, rude. It was 7.58.

I forgot my card in pocket. I forgot my card in pocket. My car was outside a second away. She immediately told me I couldn't buy it and hollered out quickly for void for void. Disgusting customer service. They closed at eight. It was seven 58. She said, I gotta go out to my car. They went, Nope, sales over. Get the fuck out. Too late. You're going. I'm not charging you. Don't worry.

Holy fucking shit. Yeah. Um, and then finally we'll make this the last one. Sophia one star. Don't come to this store ever. Double exclamation point. I had a horrible experience here over the Christmas, there on Christmas day of 2021. They were open on Christmas day. Whatever you get. Whatever you get, fucking thank your lucky stars.

Be thankful that those people aren't nearly the same religion as you. That's all, just be thankful. Be thankful they don't give a fuck about Jesus. No. Or his birth. Just be thankful. Be thankful they don't give a fuck about Jesus. No. Or his birth. Where did the owners find those people to work as manager in cashiers? Well number one it's Christmas so like I said we did our bottles selection, came to the cashier. She was busy with her phone. Didn't even pick her eyes up at us. Maybe she was

telling her family Merry fucking Christmas you uppity twat. My boss has me working today. That sucks. I hope you enjoy the fucking dinner. I can't believe there's people actually in here. We moved to another cashier. She ringed all our selections, cost $145, packaged bottles to the plastic bags. I asked her to put more small cartons between the bottles

that it will be safer. She looked at me like I own her to put more small cartons between the bottles that it will be safer. She looked at me like I own her something. I guess owe her something is what they were going for. Even though the E is nowhere near the N. I don't know. Like I own her something and voided our transaction saying she is telling me what to do. Voided. Get the fuck out. Voided.

Fuck out of here. Super Nazi style. Peace out bitch. No booze. Voided. Fuck out of here. Soup Nazi style. Peace out, bitch. No booze for you. No booze for you. It's Christmas. Get out.

Be nice to us. Go be sober. I called the manager. She was around and heard all. I asked the manager what did just happen here. She told me cashier is right. You can't tell her what to do. Leave. My friends and I

were customers in the store for the last 20 years well not anymore it sounds like sounds like it's not up to you either so they don't owe you anything they don't know you shit so there you go everybody there is your stupid opinions opinions we will finish up with many more complaints about this liquor store at the beginning of the next show and we have some more crazy shit for you next time. Obviously a wild personal item and all sorts of fun stuff. So enjoy your steaks and boobs together.

Never leave a laptop bag in your car when you're anywhere. Let's be realistic here. Don't expect real torture devices from a torture museum. Don't expect good service at a liquor store and don't expect a Willamette Valley estate Pino fucking noir from Bawai liquors 2016 suck a dick there you go people Thank you so much everybody have a good one we I appreciate you. Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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