Your Stupid Opinions - Truck Bed Birthday, Drive In Riot, As Much Of A Man

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

This week, we hear all kinds of reviews, including a trampoline park where you can practice your dodgeball skills, against toddlers. A very personal item that's intended to build confidence, but will eventually cause disappointment. A drive in movie theater with tricky pizza boxes & delayed movies... plus much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there, hope you've had a wonderful week. My name is James Petragallo, I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you for joining us. Honestly, we get so excited every week for this show.

We can't wait and now it's here and we get to do it. We hope you're just as excited for it. If you like these shows, listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are exactly what they sound like. Exactly what they sound like. So check that out. Before we get started here,

finding out people's grievances of the week here, we always have to tell you that, obviously, these are in our reviews. So no reason to be mad at us at all. If you're, you know, we don't know anything about these places. All we can go on are the reviews, just like anybody else when they look up a place

and they go, is this place good? And you read reviews. So this is what we're doing. So that said, let's dive right into this. Right away and jump into the deep end. Actually, we're gonna jump into the deep end, but then we're gonna bounce right back out again because we're going to the Altitude Trampoline Park. Yes. We went to,

we've done a trampoline park in Phoenix before, the Skyzone one. Now we're going to do that was months ago. So now we found the Altitude Trampoline Park. It's in Kissimmee, Florida. And it is located in the Kissimmee loop or the loop Kissimmee. Sorry. Yeah, that's located 2703 West Osceola Parkway in Kissimmee Sure go there all the time. I'm always in Kissimmee Oh, yeah, and it says looking for a Disney area trampoline park. Welcome to altitude Kissimmee Altitude altitude Altitude.

Imagine how spoiled the kid is. OK, you take him to Disney World. Fucking Disney World, which is like, it's enormous, right? Huge. Epcot Center, they got the Wild Kingdom. You can watch fucking lions doing their shit that they do out in the wherever the hell they're from. You know what I mean?

Just being in their habitat. You can watch that going on. You have to have a multi-day pass to see it all. cost hundreds of dollars and after all that your kids like but there's no Trampolines there I'd be like I will fucking feed you to the Lions. We're going we're going back through on the Safari I'm throwing this kid off. I swear to God pulling that bounces so high they call it. What is it altitude? Bounces so high I gotta got to worry about an oxygen mask. I'm going to get a nosebleed if it bounces so high. Jesus Christ.

Wow. It says, channel your energy, cut loose with your best flips and tricks, and prepare to jump life featuring up to 35,000 square foot of indoor trampolines and other attractions. Altitude Trampoline Park is an exciting destination for families, groups, and individual jumpers to have healthy athletic fun. Welcome to Florida, where we encourage flips and shit. Where there's children everywhere.

Yeah, every trampoline park I've ever been to, they're like, no flips, do not flip. Here they're like, do a flip, and if you can fire a gun off and hit a target while you're flipping That's extra points you get that's what you can do with a gator in your pocket. That's even better So it says as the ultimate party spot Altitude is the perfect venue for any birthday party or group event choose from an array of party and event packages blah blah blah Now they're trying to sell us. Okay, let's find out here. Five stars to start out with because some people must

love it. This is ENILEC. ENILEC is the name. I don't know. E-N-I-L-E-C. Never seen that name before. Never. We had an amazing time celebrating our daughter's birthday here. It was pricey but absolutely worth it. Pricy. Everybody says it's a bit pricey. The kids had a blast and our party host was constantly communicating. Which, go away, leave us alone. At some point, shut the fuck up. Leave us alone. Yeah, I don't want anybody constantly. What do you need to communicate? When someone says constantly, it's got a negative connotation to it. Like, you know, the word constantly just has a negative it feels like you don't want it, but it keeps happening It's the definition

Helping and ensuring everything went smoothly and perfect and she was such a sweetheart to all our guests Okay, well that's terrific look at that Savannah also five stars. We had an awesome experience here Great were members, and it's totally worth the membership. The employees are amazing and everyone here has been exceptional. We had someone named Luis help us today. We love this place and it's great for our family. Okay. Wow, so they're loving it.

And inside, I'm gonna show you a picture here because it looks like it's a warehouse that they put trampolines in. It's got the corrugated roof and all that shit. It's like fucking concert. Yeah. uh, scaffolding for the roof. It's an abandoned Amazon warehouse is what it looks like. They've like, we need 70,000 square feet and they left this behind. Have you been to a trampoline park lately? That's basically what all of them look like.

Yeah. I, why the hell would I go to a trampoline park? Yeah. Good point. They gotta be wide open though, because otherwise if they're too cluttered, I mean well people are gonna bump into each other Yeah, I want to hurt this shit Pretty fucking quickly. I would say Okay, Oh Mari one star. All right, if I could give it less stars bathroom. A lot of people lead with that and this one. It's looking great. I would. Bathrooms were horribly nasty. There will be poop. Don't worry about that. No soap or paper towels and the hand dryer was broken. So actually they didn't say paper towels. They said paper toes. T-O-W-S. Paper toes. Hand dryer was broken so everyone's walking out with wet

hands. Staff was very rude and the whole time, it was very rude the whole time, and we're here to do and we're here do not, what the fuck do they not realize, this person is not good at spelling and that's a problem when you're trying to read their words, do not realize that we play money to come here. I think pay money is what they're looking at. But there's an L missing somewhere else. So if we can borrow that for another word, I could be able to read this much easier. And out of that money come their paychecks. I pay your salary is what they're trying to say. This guy understands how it works.

He gets it. Whoa. Staff refused to give receipts for purchases when asked to email them to me They said that was too much. You're asking too much this well, that's cuz we're stealing There's no we say cuz we're skimming we take cash only for a reason say Cash only no receipts. So it's a different price for we look at you and we we figure he looks like you pay about that Yeah, we're getting good at it by now. I think I should have the right to my receipt when I spend money at an establishment. Do better and learn to be nice and not rude to the people

who bring revenue into your business. And they say that we regret to learn about your experience. Oh, they replied. They replied. Maintaining cleanliness and providing exceptional customer service are fundamental to us and it appears we did not meet our standards during your visit. Sounds like it. Yeah, sounds like it.

Brianna, one star, absolutely terrible place. Everything is run by, and these, I mean they kind of go together, these words, ignorant underage people. That's redundant as fuck. How many times do you go somewhere and you go, that's a brilliant 15 year old, amazing. Worldly, he's worldly, he knows it all, this fucking kid. Really understands business. Wow, very dangerous.

They don't enforce the rules. And when a child gets injured, they refuse to give a simple cup of ice water and ice it was unbelievable they're like it doesn't look that bad walk it off I don't think you need ice for that. Yeah you're alright you don't need ice water let's see they told me they didn't have ice but would call an ambulance yeah looks like we need to amputee. I don't understand. We're not good. We're not treating shit here. What do you want to go to the hospital?

But if it's not first aid kit around here. If it's real bad, I'll get you a five thousand dollar ride to the hospital. If that'll depending on how painful it is. Five thousand dollar Uber. What do you think? My child didn't need to take up county emergency resources for a bloody mouth. But a paper towel with ice would have gone a long way. We will not be back Jerks that jerks is the last sentence bad people real jerks

One star from Liz if I could give zero stars It's every time it's yeah, you would think think that when you read, you've read a million reviews, you'd go, that's hacky. I'm not going to start like that, but they all do anyway. It's been done. This is the worst all caps service I've ever received. I went in person, filled out paperwork and canceled my membership on December 20th, 2023. I was told I had to pay three more months. I went in person, filled out paperwork, and canceled my membership on December 20th, 2023.

I was told I had to pay three more months, which would have ended in February. However, here we are in July, and I'm still being charged membership for three children that I can't even use. I can't use these children. I got them. They're useless to me. They're all busted up. What am I going to do with them?

I got to put this one on an ambulance. Get them out of here. How are they charging you? Because if it's direct... There's membership. They're useless to me. They're all busted up. What am I gonna do with them? I gotta put this one on an ambulance. Get them out of here. How are they charging you? Because if it's direct- There's memberships. Debit.

Yeah, but how are they charging her? You know what I mean? Because she's like, I'm paying it. Yeah, I assume it's a renewing. If it's renewing, change your fucking credit card and they can't charge shit. You can actually just call your bank and say, don't pay them anymore.

They'll do it. There's a lot of ways around this. Bank of America, it's me and you against this. Yeah, me and you. Well, I'm a customer, come on, help me out here. So, memberships for three children I can't even use since I'm no longer local. Okay, yeah, can't get ahold of anyone by phone either.

And then all caps cancel my membership with four exclamation points. Why should you cancel it? You're doing your own They reply. Oh, did they? Yeah, we're sorry to hear you weren't happy with your experience at altitude I didn't remember her saying that really right? So worst customer service. I received. Yeah there she's upset She's paying for it. Not that it was a shitty place. We're always looking forward looking for ways to improve Well, don't charge me for nothing. That's a good way to improve. That's easy. I got an easy way to do that.

Don't fucking charge for that. You can email and we're going to keep looking. Okay. David has a lot to say here. Okay. David, one star. He's got a lot of reviews too. We have had a previous birthday party in the past and had issues with that, but the kids

love coming here. Okay. One of those, we all issues with that but the kids love coming here one of those we all have those places where the kids go i want to go there and you're like i fucking hate that place okay fine we decided to try again since this is what the birthday kid wanted and what a joke you can't bring any food or drinks from the outside no which that's a joke because again with the joke what that's twice in two sentences which that's a joke because again with the joke What that's twice in two sentences Which that's a joke because they don't list on the website, but will let you know once you take a table and set up They will not let you rent any of the rooms for the the rooms the day of even with hardly anyone there Because you need a quote host and they require a day notice

The staff and the manager were incredibly rude. Okay, we had a child with diabetes and they made it incredibly, they took his fucking insulin and threw it down the toilet. They made it incredibly hard to accommodate him. We brought a cake in and had it sitting on the table, not even open, and the manager was triggered

by it sitting there and kept coming up to us about moving the cake to the back or taking it to the car. Which in the end, the female manager just finally let the cake sit on the table until our time was up. We ended our fun birthday party here in the parking lot, eating pizza and cake out of the bed of a truck. That's nice. That's nice. That's hard.

We're gonna have a down home kind of birthday everybody. Holy shit, we had a hoedown at the truck. That is very nice. The staff needs some better training on how to handle situations because the only response we kept getting is, it's the policy. Yeah. Don't waste your time coming here even for a birthday party. The first time we came our pizza was an hour late and they didn't even make that right. There are better options around to entertain your kids.

Yes, it's called Disney World and Epcot Center and a fucking... For some reason Florida exists. And a goddamn zoo that is basically Africa in fucking that you can drive through. Linda, one star. Unbelievably underwhelming experience. Here we go. First I'm going to start, first I love this, I'm going to start, oh I guess off is what she's going for here, off with the employees that were at the entrance just chatting it up with each other, playing with the manager's hair. A whole bunch of kids kids I picture five people like twirling hair and

oh it's amazing yeah fucking grooming each other the trampolines are dirty to the point where you can where you can stains I think you can stains looking for another word there the place is full of dust just look up up. There was a dead roach next to the stall in the women's room. Gross. The sky course was not open. The floors had footprints everywhere. The cashier are trained. Are trained horrible. The person who helped me had to look back at the prices to tell me key observation that they barely know what they are doing. Whoever running this place needs to get it together. It's been like this for a year with not one sign of improvement.

There's no commas, periods, nothing in there. They come in here a lot. Holy shit. They're in here all the time. They hate it, but they're in here all the time. Here's Jordan one star. This place is awful. All caps.

Terrible. I finally calmed down enough to post about what happened here a few months ago. Not a few hours ago. This isn't nine o'clock that night. Net ninety to calm the fuck down. She went there in a parka and now she's sitting in a tank top going... I can do it. I can do it now. The staff are teens and young adults and they bully children. Sure. They bully the children. That's what teens do. I took my young children there.

One of the staff members didn't notice I was standing there watching my kids, so she mistreated my child. I watched the staff member pull the trapeze bar away from my six-year-old child causing her to fall from the ledge twice that in all in all fairness that's pretty fucking hilarious watching a kid fall with and you know they're falling on like pads and there's no way of them getting hurt that's really fucking funny and that's hilarious seeing them like reach out to grab something then just tap and yeah lose being like, just bouncing around. For some reason, if you know they're not really hurt,

it's fucking hilarious. The funniest thing I've ever seen is I'm like always sunny when they beat the shit out of those children. That's the funniest thing that the show did in 20 years. It's hilarious. I belly laugh when I see it. Picking on kids is so much fun. It's so funny.

I've taken my daughter for sushi and when she picks things, it finally gets a grip of something with her fucking chopsticks. I'll just smack it for sushi and when she picks things that finally gets a grip of something with her with her fucking Chopsticks, I'll just smack it with my chopsticks She'll learn to hold it tighter next time It's good. Get them used to life because it's gonna suck later, too She could have broken an arm or a leg. No, come on I would assume that the trapeze

has probably padding underneath. I doubt they're gonna let six year olds just fucking work out on the trapeze over a concrete floor. Does it got spikes under it? Yeah, what's going on? Is there alligators in there? Maybe that's where they take the gators. We built it over a swamp, we left the gators.

It's got lava. We felt bad. I asked the staff member why she did that and she looked at me shocked because she didn't realize the child's mother was watching She said she's not waiting until I say go That does not excuse pulling the bar out of her hands when she's using it to balance on a ledge Not to mention it's always way overcrowded the minimal core. There's minimal crowd control I would take my kids to a McDonald's play place before I brought them back here.

Ew. Don't do that. Oh, that's gross. You don't want to do that. This is interesting. Justin One Star, short but sweet, had my daughter's birthday there yesterday. That's nice. Almost $400 for two hours.

Holy. That's all those places are so expensive. Then literally forced out of the room. I'll never go back. I felt robbed at gunpoint You've never been robbed at gunpoint. I don't think I don't think you were Was the 16 year old girl who made you leave the room real like was she aggressive with you real scary or what? Feared for your life. Are your wrists bare from the duct tape? Yeah. Oh my God.

All right, one star from Natalia. Terrible park. There was no way I could get inside to look after my child. As a result, the child was injured, but they don't even allow me to bring water to where the child is. Terrible employees, I don't recommend it. I feel like there's a lot more backstory

we need to know about that. Yeah, I'm sorry. They wouldn't let you. I'm sorry, teenage children are fucking a nightmare to deal with. Yeah. If you want to pay even more, they'll hire adults. That's the thing. It would cost more. Elizabeth, one star. If I could give this place zero stars. I would. It's a record. We're coming out of the gate hot tonight. Is that three? Jesus. Oh my God. Why didn't we name the show if I could give it zero stars?

Nicole was so very rude and biased. Our birthday boy- biased. Yeah, she's a big Dolphins fan, couldn't have a Jags hat on and weren't having it. Our birthday boy waited an hour to get admission to jump 20 minutes and have another kid starting fights Our group of kids got kicked out then Nicole said she will review footage But never did so the kid that started the problem stayed and enjoyed his time she got the cops involved to remove us and Threatened us twice to be to ban us. I feel like once the cops are called you're banned. That's what I would assume

I feel like once the cops are called you're banned. That's what I would assume That kid had started problems complained he got to stay Okay, managers need more training and better customer service I think the cops get called and you stick around don't you feel like a piece of shit? Well, you're like no I want to stay Yeah, that's why never well as a bouncer I never fucking understood that when you throw someone out of a bar and their argument's like, you want to be in a place where the entire staff wants you to fuck on the goddamn sidewalk?

Why would you want to be here? We hate you. We hate you. What do you think? Now we're, hold on, you're intoxicated, we're sober, and we're going to like apologize and let you back in? Come on, man. You know. What are you talking about?

You know what happened because I haven't drank yet tonight, so I know exactly what happened I'm not confused by anything. I watched you fucking pee in the ladies room, so listen Fuck out of here with that shit from outside the ladies room All right, we'll do one more There's a there's a few more, but there's a punch with the next one by, by the way, that I won't read, but the first sentence is, I wish I could give half a star. Not just one, so if I could give a half a star, I would. Alright, two stars.

We just went to Altitude this weekend to celebrate my son's birthday. We didn't do the party package because the amount charged isn't even worth what you get, so we just let our son invite a few friends and his cousins I couldn't find a single person who resembled a manager or supervisor Every single employee that I saw had such a miserable look on their face as you would be if you had to fucking Fight four-year-olds jumping around on trampolines and a fancy children feet all day Feet and piss those how many kids are pissing themselves in there? Bunch, right? There's a lot of piss floating around.

There's probably a few too. You're bouncing. Oh yeah, yeah. There's all kids. Definitely. There should be like buckets set aside just next to the trampolines for in case it happens. There's a few blood, shit, piss, everything. There's a bodily fluid catcher, all purpose.

They weren't welcome or even courteous to the children. I understand that working with hundreds of small children isn't easy, but if you don't want to work with the children, why would you work at a trampoline park? I saw enough employees rolling their eyes and just overall not even paying attention to the children. I witnessed the employee at the wipeout game yell at a child because they landed on the spinning arm, but that's the whole point of this game. Some of the teenagers that were visiting your trampoline park were just laying down on the ninja obstacle course hanging out

Well, you're lucky they weren't fingering each other. So yeah, you're awful lucky. They weren't like yeah like Doing fucking lines off each other's cocks. That's be be lucky there Which was not allowing the other children to use the obstacle course to do so Somebody who worked there should have been clearing the area so kids could actually use the obstacle course. If you want to lay down, go find a chair or somewhere else to sit. Lastly, it was very upsetting to see the dodgeball area had no supervision and there were kids as old as 16 years old playing dodgeball with four-year-olds and throwing the ball as hard as it can be. Yeah, that's what you do. I can dominate you physically, four-year-old.

Who would allow their four-year-old to play dodgeball with a 16-year-old? That's the problem. Why wouldn't you, once the teenagers come, why don't you pull your kid out of there? I understand that every child signs a waiver, but there should be somebody monitoring that area so older kids play with older kids and small kids can play with small kids. They're called parents. And nobody gets hurt. Well, yeah, there's parents and I don't know why you can't have like a 10 and under, 12 and under, 12 and older.

And there generally is. There's supposed to be, I mean, anyone that I've ever been through, there's two. And one's for the little kids, one's for the big kids. That seems fair because you really, you can't have fucking... No. These kids playing with fucking other kids. All right, I'll do the last one, one more. One star, not even a full one star.

This place used to be awesome, but it turned into just a, just a many bore restrictions place. That's how they say it. Apparently must be at least five feet tall to do everything. A place, this is a very small man, this is a four foot six. This is bullshit. This is bullshit. This is not right. It's not right. I won't have it. This place is a bore. The trampolines for everybody, damn it. Apparently there must be at least five feet tall to do everything. A place full of trampolines and barely you cannot jump however you want.

Why all of a sudden so many rules for a place full of children that just want to jump? I think you just answered your question. There it is. Why so many rules? Because there's children there. That's why. Don't recommend for children under three feet tall. Yeah, I wouldn't anyway.

That's very small. And don't recommend if you want to explore your flips and parkour yeah probably not keep your park this guy's bouncing off the trampoline one leg off the wall back out of the trampoline landed on a four-year-old Jesus Christ all right that's that's we can't I gotta get of the sky. We've been jumping too much Let's get grounded into something else. Let's get back in our cars and let's head over You know what I could go for right now a good movie. What do you think? Yeah, let's let's go see a movie. We're going to the Jessup Drive-in Oh a drive-in movie theater a real one here

It is 3686 Savannah Highway, Jessup, Georgia. It looks like rural Georgia and it just looks like a field with a screen that was put up in 1947 and never changed. It looks pretty cool. So here we go. Joe gives five stars. Great atmosphere. It's your car is what that is. You're in a field. There's no atmosphere. It's a field. Good food, good value. There's a playground for the kids and concessions will definitely be going back. That sounds like a drive-in. Five stars again. Pros. Movies are a bargain. Easy to drive in and park. Sound was good. Bathrooms close by. Concession stand was clean and can take pets if they're quiet. concession stand was clean and can take pets if they're quiet.

Secure at all times and clean up poop, obviously. Cons, only take cash, no debit or credit cards, food prices are high, need a car headlight patrol to ensure people turn off lights or post on screen before each movie or mention over radio. Who the fuck would leave their lights on? There's a problem with daytime running lights that people have. That's an issue that I found.

Oh, and you gotta leave the ignition on so you can hear, because it's all Bluetooth now. Exactly, that's the problem, so that's an issue. Tika gives three stars. Good old school drive-in experience. However, they gave me cold, old, and what seemed to be refrigerated fries.

Yikes. Yeah, I'm not going to a drive-in in Jessup, Georgia for the cuisine, probably. I don't think that's what... If you have nachos with that plastic cheese that you pump out, that's probably all I can ... That's the best I can expect, probably. Maybe a stale pretzel, possibly. Have you been to a drive-in? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, tons of them. Back when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's I love them, too There's still one near me actually. Yeah, there's a speaker that you hang on the on the night Nobody has that anymore. It's either Bluetooth or that radio thing Yeah, yeah I I only went to one when I was a kid and that was the like the draw of is like it's an old school one With a speaker and it just sucked and then after that it was all like turned to this AM station And you can hear it like that was much better

You can hear then The Godzilla that had the puffy song in it in in Denver years obviously Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, the one with the Puffy song in it. The fucking Jimmy Page song in it, you mean? Yeah, the remake of the Jimmy Page song. The Jimmy Page song that Puffy fucking wrapped over. Ruined?

Yeah, that one, yeah. Petra Gives Two Stars, had a sad experience at this drive-in theater. That's a fun way to put it, a sad experience. It's been years since we last came, but wanted to take our granddaughters to see the Little Mermaid We didn't have dinner because we knew they had a concession stand Fill my belly with drive-in food you're gonna you're gonna shit before they sing before they sing, uh, well, they sing poor unfortunate souls,

you poor unfortunate souls. Dude, that is not a smart fucking move to do that. You know, you put that shit food on top of better food and hope it doesn't completely start a brawl in there. You get a side order of something in snack to get you through the movie. That's it, yeah. Anyway, a handful of fries,

literally a handful, all caps, all caps hand full two separate words is a whopping $11 Asked if they had cheese pizza and asked what size I said the large size They brought out a huge box ten minutes later when I opened it There was a paper thin pepperoni pizza the size of a dinner plate inside of a huge box. That's fucking the fun Oh good. There's enough for our oh wait wait a second it's a Totino's never mind. I'm in the size of a dinner plate. I said I had asked for a cheese pizza because I don't eat pork. The reply was they only have pepperoni. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. There's cheese

under the pepperoni. The customer service was a a joke It was obvious even to my granddaughters that the staff was annoyed by me even though they made a mistake Grandma, I don't think they like you would have been a great thing for your What's more whenever there were moments where the little mermaid was underwater you couldn't see hardly anything on the screen. Will not be back. Oh. Okay. Yeah, you're going for the experience of just sitting in your car and watching a movie. It's a... Right.

I mean, it's a nostalgia of, we don't have to be here anymore because they do this inside a lot. Exactly. All over. And you don't even have to go inside because you can stream everything right in your living room. You don't even have to go to a theater. Never mind sit in your fucking car. Yeah, they only put it in the theater for like a week before it's on whatever fucking streaming service they've contracted with.

Or you could buy it for $20 or whatever the fuck. That's ridiculous. Monica, one star. I'm currently at the horror film fest. It is terrible. From the back of the fucking thing here. The concession stand is not open. We have endured the stupidest homemade short films for an hour. Well, that's a film festival. That's why. You went to a film festival. You went to a horror film festival. What did you expect? Quality? No. Even the studio-made horror films are so bad now. They're fucking terrible.

You don't even know what's going on because it's just the cameras moving constantly. And everything's like a shade of black, so it's just like flashing black back and forth. It's all on fucking TV now. That's all you can see on a TV. It is now 20 minutes past the time for the movie to start. How do you have a six hour movie marathon with no concession stand? By the time these movies start and end it will be after 2 a.m. It got dark an hour and a half ago

That is when the movie should have started. Well, you're mad. It's gonna be late as it is How the fuck if it's to start even later will never be back I recommend the drive in on highway 21 over near the South Carolina border. It's so much better Jesus Christ, okay Near the anywhere any border of South Carolina, that sounds like it's out there. Larissa, one star. We drive an hour and a half to be able to come here but the pricing is ridiculous. Let me explain. Okay, you have to buy your tickets online which is fine. The other people said they only took cash. Right. So if they have

an online option, that's great. But what is not fine is charging me extra money because I bought them online. Second, we go to the concession stand to order some food. We order four large drinks, nachos, one bag of small popcorn, a cheese pizza for the kids, and four wings. It was $72.

Oh boy. Yeah, that's a lot of shit you got though. Even though it's not a lot of food, it's what's expected at a concession stand, I think. It's not unreasonable. They don't make the money for the movie on the ticket. Most of that's going to whatever studio you borrow through this movie. You pass that shit up.

That's all theaters make money. That's how they make their money, off concessions. The food and beverage place. Then this one, this is great. The pizza dough was gummy on the inside because it wasn't all the way done. I really, I expect a quality pizza that I eat in my car at the fucking drive-in movie theater. Don't you expect, I expect like a wood fire, no coal fired back there, nothing. This is what I get. Bullshit. Anything, you were saying you were at a bar where they used a toaster oven for pizza. That's what I expect here.

If I get like a, literally a Totino's fucking pizza from a toaster oven at the drive-in, I go, all right, that's what I'd say. I think it was like Great Value or something. I'm sure it was. It was so bad. Great Value French bread pizza they put in there. You guys got food, they're like, oh, we'll make you a pizza. I'm like, will you? I'm like, give me a pepperoni reach beneath

That's why beneath the bar hold out a box and ripped it apart and put it in a toaster oven Next to the fucking tequila. I'm like that's that's the food Your tequila is getting hot sir. I'm gonna die But I'm eating it cuz it's 2am. Yeah, and I'm too drunk for this. They did bring our food out to the vehicle, then I asked the young man, could we please get some ketchup and ranch? Well, he said I could walk up there and get myself some. You sure can.

You're gonna walk yourself back on up there and get whatever the fuck you want. You're welcome to it. So that was nice. The bathrooms were disgusting. I'm beyond disappointed in this place. I used to love coming here, but it will be a few years before I return. Which I don't think anyone's ever said it will be a few years before. It's either never...

I'm gonna be back, but... Yeah, but not now. Yeah. Okay, Rachel One Star. She's got a mouthful here. I see you turned all your Facebook reviews off and have no customer service email. This is a direct, she's not talking to us,

she's talking to them. There's two different kinds of reviews. There are other customers' reviews, and then there's, motherfucker, here's what I had. Let me tell you what went wrong with your establishment. I see what you did. I'm tell you what went wrong with your establishment. I see what you did. I see that.

We're not supposed to know that you can only buy tickets for the drive-in online and you have no online way to communicate. Ironic. We are some of your only pandemic patrons at the strand, then we discovered some things we didn't like about your business and we stopped going. Well, we took a chance today and went to the drive-in.

Please tell the lady that checks tickets to say things under her breath and not be so loud when she calls customers idiots for not knowing your policy of doing online tickets. At least have some decorum and say it inside. She said at least say it under your breath. Not even, not to me. Just don't go, idiot.

Be like, idiots. And I'm okay with it. That's not asking a lot. Call me an idiot just not so directly right to my face. We drove up and said hi to please, no other words to her. And she said, idiots. So rude. Okay. I think I'm gonna talk to him, idiots. Holy shit. and said hi to please no other words to her and she said idiots so rude okay

I think I'm gonna talk to them idiots. Holy shit how are you refusing cash you should care about what customers think we were devoted patrons visiting several times a month and now never again yeah never again side note the movie we couldn't see the movie we couldn't see face is clearly enough to differentiate characters. Oh boy. That's not at all then. That's not a drive-in movie.

That's not a movie at all. If you go, is that Willem Dafoe or Meryl Streep? That's a really bad fucking screen. I can't tell the difference, that's a problem. Is that The Little Mermaid or Trident? Yeah, I don't know. That's a real, fuck that, is that The Little Mermaid or fucking, or Black Panther?? Like what are we talking about?

I can't tell. The screen was all desaturated and blurry. Also clean your bathrooms. Yeah, I mean that should be a given. That's great. Now the next one, this is fucking great. Angela one star. Now it's becoming a spectacle. I kind of want to go there just to see it. The twin girls were rooted unprofessional. That's great. Now the next one this is fucking great Angela one star now. It's becoming a spectacle I kind of want to go there just to see it the twin girls were rooted unprofessional. That's awesome. You're being Treated rudely by two identical people at the same time. That's pretty fun. I kind of want to see that They were giving people food that belonged to other people It took an hour and a half to get our food which meant we missed most of the movie

I was gonna say a movies about an hour and a half to get our food which meant we missed most of the movie I was gonna say a movies about an hour 45 No one apologized nor the young man behind the counter was having a hard time with the popcorn machine Also playing on his phone in order to get a refund you had to wait to call the corporate office on Monday Jesus Christ Apparently so I think this is like a chain. I Jesus Christ. Like a corporate office? Like apparently so. I think this is like a chain.

I imagine here. Here's some bathroom complaints. Stafford one star. I've been to the Jessup Drive-In movie theater twice now. Both times the movie wouldn't play. So you haven't been there. You've technically been on the property twice. Yeah, you haven't even done anything.

I haven't really been there though. Both times my girlfriend and I sat for hours waiting to see if it would come on At what point did you give up what she started? They started seeing the employees driving away from the concession stand. They're like, I don't think this movie's gonna come on What do you think? Wouldn't padlocks out front. They shut the they shut the lights off. I think this is a bad thing She's really wanted to get laid he was like come on start she's gonna give me a hand job I swear this um let's see set there for hours

asking staff did nothing because they would all tell me that the owner was on the way well that helps the second time we went there my girlfriend and I both had to use the bathroom for waiting so long and it was worse than a truck driver only restroom toilet paper all over the place, one of the sinks was broke and there were no soap. You could tell that the bathroom hadn't been cleaned in a long time. Truly nasty. There will be poop. I highly suggest going somewhere else if you want to watch a movie. Although it seems like a drive-in could be fun, it's just not in Jessup. Yeah. Just not there. Holy shit. That used to be so fun.

The drive-in was fucking great. It was fantastic. We would pop popcorn on the stove and pour it full in paper bags from the fucking grocery store. We would fill one of those with popcorn. Yeah, you could do whatever you want. You could bring it in. You could bring in anything in the trunk for Christ's sake.

And then here's one star from Sarah. Don't go if you have daytime running lights. We were told to turn our lights off, not possible in this model of car. When we could not turn our lights off, we were given trash bags to cover our lights. I'm not gonna, what? Hang your shirts over.

Here, do that. I'm not going out of my way to cover up our dim lights with trash bags. I came here to watch a movie, not to put trash bags all over my daytime running lights. DIM LIGHTS? Those are so bright. Right. They're headlights that run all the time. They're fucking not dim at all. And if everyone had them on, you wouldn't see shit. No. You'd see nothing. Um, let's see. No complaints from any other movie watchers. Just complaints from the owner. Oh, and no refunds unless your movie can't be

replayed. I'd rather make the drive to Hinesville rather than go there. Oh and no refunds unless your movie can't be replayed I'd rather make the drive to Hinesville rather than go there. Oh, well if you're talking about Hinesville, obviously And there's no car that it's impossible to shut the lights off, right? There's no way that's a thing I don't know. I don't know. I don't know any of the cars Next is about the owner Jonathan one star last one owner got all in my car In your okay all all in my car that sounds like all in my car sounds like he did it like through the window You know what I mean? Like he's just hanging in there. He got in the backseat. Yeah, I asked him to back away He wanted my headlights off turn the car off and told him I wouldn't be back and to please leave my area

He informed me he owned the whole area. I own the whole area. Very rude owner. Numerous issues from raw food, movies listed in order and played differently. Called the Never Strand and asked for anyone to return calls. No one ever does. They just want a quick buck. They don't want to an issue, but only pester customers after another technical difficulty Yes, 30 minutes left in the movie and it cuts out

Then he decides to harass everyone this happens about a bit about a bit okay Happens about a bit is that a southern ism? About a bit does it happen often about a bit? All right, I guess so Sure, it's a Georgia ism. I won't be back. The kids working are very nice, but never able to fix anything I'd rather go to Hinesville and pay more lots of people saying it this fucking Hinesville, man. I'll tell you what Well, yeah, we'll give one more fine. Paul one star. The concession stand tried to say I cussed at their staff. And I'm positive I didn't say anything like that.

The lady kept trying to say I couldn't address the staff when I went to apologize for anything that could have sounded like profanity. How embarrassing this was. Which sounds like a question. How embarrassing this was. I'm saying, Jesus, I don't say them words. Listen, son, you don't say them words. I'd listen son You don't have any of that for my point of view. I would never say I was probably I wasn't saying an f-word

Yeah Necessarily, I was probably talking about you know, I probably said fudge or or Fudge or I was like these chickens are clucking and things like that. I say I don't Say that kind of thing. All right, so that said we've been jerked around quite a bit here. Our four year olds have been pelted with dodgeballs. We've gone to the drive and the owner's been all up in our car. This isn't right. I can't help it.

I own a car that always has its lights on. If he's trying to be personal let's go and be personal as well with the personal item of the week everybody. Here it is. It is the, I'll show you a picture of it. You're going to go, what the mother fuck is that? Let me show it to you. Yeah, how's that work?

Okay. It is an Elsa YX Men Bulge Enhancing Underwear Cup Sponge Pad Swimwear Padded. It's the pad your dick. It's for your tiny dick where you wanna, but you wanna wear, there's an easy way, if you have a tiny dick, there's an easy way to hide that would be to wear pants that are baggy and your dick size doesn't matter,

but if you really want your dick to pop, you want your dick to pop too. You wanna pull a Steve Perry and just always be, you want people to go dressin' this way, great. Jesus, sir, look at that. So it is basically a little cup with what looks like a, looks like a little, it looks like a pill bottle that almost looks like is raised,

and I guess that's supposed to be your penis, I guess. It says one size fits most. Cup was ideal for covering up obvious outlines and tight swimsuits. It also works well in compression shorts and yoga gear. There is a bit of a lift. Okay. Very comfortable and stays in place.

This is the product description. Cover up for modesty. Improve your self-confidence. Modesty, you're making your dick pop more. So is this to like, if you've got too much crank and you're trying to hide it? No, because it's got the shape of a fucking dick head on it. So it's not for that. It's not for modesty.

This is to walk around and go, like my big cock, don't you? That's what this is for. This is for the least modest motherfucker on the planet. It's for a guy with a little dick who wants to walk around and feel big dick energy. It's very strange. Yeah. Wow. It says, strange. Yeah. Wow. It says, very comfortable.

Cover up for modesty. Improve your self-confidence. Made of polyester and sponge material. Soft and lightweight. Resilient and cushioning. Oh, it's easy to give. Yeah, breathable and moisture wicking. And eye catching.

Well, it would be eye catching, yeah. Yeah, but look, man. That's a fact. Eye catching. When you drop these pants later, if you're trying to impress some bad falls out yeah, and you're little fucking butterball timer dick pops out Yeah, that's gonna be great for everybody your Robin's egg shows up. She's gonna be real mad What the fuck well I mean how many times have I have we gone whoa that wasn't what it looked like in there. Yeah, so Touche ladies touche ladies, touche.

You took those shoes off and boy are you little. D cup, eh? Yeah, I don't know. I think so. So it says, oh, this is by the way, $7.80. Very cheap. Very cheap. Look at that.

You can do this really easy, product description over the bulge masking naughty penis outlines and giving you different penis out So strange give you the unexpected result of space What what the fuck over the okay? It actually doesn't say over it says out the bulge and masking naughty penis line outlines Give you the unexpected result of space. A very Chinese man wrote this, right? Yeah, certainly.

Yeah. Okay. Give you a good protection wearing it. Yeah, this is a foreigner. Absolutely. And no more naked when your bathing suit is wet. No more naked when your bathing suit is wet. It is natural and discreet.

No, it's not. So you're supposed to wear this under a swimsuit? Yes. It's just to make your dick really pop. Allows the cup to blend in undetect, blend in undetectably with either light or dark garments. It would stick to the skin properly and give the desired effect. Okay. Let's find some people who speak English to talk about this. Here's five stars. For those who don't have the courage to say it is the title of this review.

This is amazing. This guy's got the courage. I got no dick. I don't care. I don't care. My dick is tiny and I show it to everybody. I wanted to write a review of this product that could help men who are looking at purchasing this product for the same reason I was.

It takes a lot of courage to talk about this, but I'm hoping it helps somebody. A lot of courage? You weren't molested, you have a small dick. You know what I mean? Like what are you talking about? This is not a psychological, you have a small dick, who cares? Jesus, learn how to use it correctly, you'll be fine. My package is definitely on the very small end of the spectrum.

Very. Very small. You didn't even say, so we put a very in there. So this has been something I've been extremely self-conscious about my entire life. Like, that's gotta be hard, yeah. My underwear do not fit correctly, nor do my pants fit right. I don't have enough dick to keep underwear off is a very strange statement to make. It doesn't even get caught on it just falls right down. How small is it? It's just baggy pant crotch. But like women wear jeans no one goes hey

where's your dick fucking dickless and shuffling their crotch around. What the fuck. Okay I always end up with tons of extra material because my clothes are designed for men of average size. How small is your dick, sir? That's gotta be, that's just a head, right? Like a baby penis? What are we talking about? It's just mushroom, right?

Just a little button. It's gotta be. Using this product has been amazing. My underwear now fit correctly. I don't have tons of extra fabric gather when I sit down This is gonna sound stupid, but I even feel more confident because my clothes fit, right? Well, it's not really stupid that makes sense If you were looking at this product because you are like me on the small end of the spectrum Then I would say you should give it a try. It will not make you look huge

It's not going to give you a quote member shaped impression in your pants, but it does it as a dick shape in it But for those of us who have been self-conscious that can give you that extra bit you need to help everything fit correctly I sure hope this helps someone out there looking for this product. You are not alone and do not be embarrassed We are just as much men as other men. This is amazing. We are just as much men as other men. I don't know what the psychology is for someone walking around with a micro penis, but it's got to be mind-boggling, apparently. We just got into his psyche a little bit. That's all they think about all day is how inadequate they are.

It's lucky that their worst feature is hidden under pants all the time. So it's not like you're, you know, be worse if you're cross-eyed or had some weird anomaly though James because let's say you mean you mean a nice girl and you take her home and you know you're gonna disappoint her you know at some point you're gonna pull it out and be like I am so sorry you know she's not gonna be happy with this five stars instant bulge I was buying this as a lark, but it ended up being useful for interviews and in a speedo. Interviews?

Interviews? What the fuck are you talking about? Interviews? We were looking for a good mechanic around here, but this guy's got a huge cock, so he got the job. Tell you what, sir, it doesn't really matter for this particular branch of McDonald's how big your penis is, but I mean, it doesn't really matter for this particular branch of McDonald's how big your penis is,

but I mean it can't hurt, right? He looks confident with his extra packin' dick in there. Can you sweat copper pipes? I don't care. I'll take that. Wow. Works well in water. My only complaint is it may be too big.

Really? I don't want people to get too crazy of an impression of me. I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea. I don't want anybody coming up to me of an impression of me. I don't want to get the wrong idea I don't anybody coming up to me just because of my dick. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna stretch you No, what people like me for me not my body. You know what I'm saying? Fred gives it five stars no shame in my game Okay, I wear these every time I get a chance no matter what I'm wearing or where I'm going. Just feels good. I have these rock star snake skin super tights pants that was absolutely smashing myself flat

in a painful way. Well stop dressing like Brett Michaels and maybe you'll fucking feel better. Why are you dressing like you're in Skid Row for Christ's sake? You'll fucking you'll feel better. Why are you dressing like you're in skid row for Christ's sake? Fucking stop maybe that's your problem Put my Sebastian buck pants on and now I don't Jesus feel better singing 18. It's much better when I sing fucking I'll remember you. It's got more heart to it. But with these, not only are they enhancing the bulge, they also make wearing the Rockstar pants comfortable to wear.

These pants cost $250, so buying these enhancers was a good investment. I got to wear them, man. They were so expensive. But you bought $250 pants, which is a poor investment. Michael gives five stars his title is bigger. Yeah that's important. Makes the package even bigger than it is already. Okay so he's like I really want building on top of already built. Now here Jimmy I'm gonna show you quick check out that picture. Ah that's not what you wanted to

see. It's not even good. I had to surprise him with that one. I couldn't tell him what it was. It is a close-up of a bright fluorescent yellow Speedo and that's what it is. And it says five stars, looks good in the Speedo, feels good on my private parts. I'm going to wear it for aqua aerobic classes. Okay. He wears that? Wow. All of the ladies in his class are like, you seen the hog on Steve? Boy, it's something. I'll tell you what, quite the cock on him. Steve wears fucking Speedos to this shit.

Wow. Steve is really looking to fucking get some attention. Four stars from Garrett helps me feel huge. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a weirdo is the first we first sets we got it I'm actually decently endowed I looked it up apparently top 4% okay guys got rulers and calculators and an actuary chart he's got all this shit to figure out where his penis ranks in the world scale here. The side of his door has notches in it. Going away from the door.

Jesus Christ. Top 4%. But I sincerely wish I could be at least three times my size. How much dick do you need? Yeah, what are we talking, circus penis? What are we doing here? You don't need a novelty trick penis, I don't think. She can only accommodate so much anyway that's yeah she he's like I want

to puncture a fucking cervix that's what I'm looking to do I'm looking to put a hurt people I'm looking to use the fallopian tube as an actual sexual fucking canal here yeah I get way deep in there her liver Jesus Christ I decided to try another product like this which which I was very unhappy with. I tried again and bought this product and I'm sincerely happy with it. I only wear this with pants and shorts. So I cannot speak to those who wear Speedos. This is a very soft and comfortable, feels almost realistic when touching it through

clothes. My only gripe is it can shift a little. Well, it's not a real dick and your dick shifts too. So that would make it more realistic if it shifts. Your dick stay in one place ever? No, it moves around. I wear it between two briefs, two pairs. So this guy's got two pairs and this is cross. He puts a pair on drops this thing over it, then puts a pair over that? Over that. Wow. But that is forgivable when I almost can't even zip up some of my pant zippers, which is a positive in his estimation.

I even feel comfortable wearing it in public and for hours at a time. It isn't perfect, but it makes me feel like a monster and that's all I really wanted out of it. Why? I don't get it. JB, four stars, product as expected, wish it would stay in place for things like a swim competition. How about worry about swimming fast and not how big your cock looks? Well I can't swim fast if I think that everybody's judging my tiny dick. Everybody's looking at me.

Holy shit, not a bad product overall. Four stars from Greg, every day is his title. And it's a very short thing here, too bulgy, he says. Okay, Sarah with three stars, mediocre quality. Outer layer started to peel off and the padding shifted to one side after about a month of regular wear. Very disappointed. Seven bucks and you expect it to last all your life? It's $8.

What do you want here? Two stars wanted to try curiosity not impressed. A couple of things addressing the elephant in the room. Oh my God. If you're considering this product, it's likely you are not huge or big when flaccid. And not many are. So they're like, listen, you're not a lot. That's hilarious.

They're trying to put it on other people too. Hey, talk about your own flaccid dick. How's that? Don't tell us what our flaccid dicks look like. You worry about your flaccid dick and I'll worry about mine. Comes to think of it, I got huge balls. Jesus. When it's flaccid, it just looks like all dick.

Nope, not even close. A lot of balls mixed in there. And there are not many, not many are. Or you may want to showcase that shape down under, and U-N-D-A-H. For the first, these pads may be okay. However, for the price, I would not buy them again. It's $8! How fucking cheap do you want them to be?

What are you talking about? Anything that's $8 is a throwaway item. What do you mean? A fucking extra value meal costs more than that. That's ridiculous. Which brings the second. The shape is nowhere near as defined as in the pics. The contour sure, but it's a slight form hardly

noticeable. He wants you to really see the outline of his dickhead. I need a print of a penis coming through my jeans. I want it to look veiny through my jeans. That's what I'm looking for. I need to see how vascular this thing is. Yeah, like, look at that. Oh, Vince McMahon. I would got with the regular pads without the shape you will save money. Oh My god, okay interesting one star. These are laughable bought two of these For me and a friend just to use as a joke. Okay Me and my pal here stuff your cock

Hey, Jimmy, I got some cock stuffers for us for our live shows. Throw this in your pants. Here you go pal. But really these are a joke. This might be handy if you have a micro and no berries. Micro and no berries. But if you actually have something it won't stay in place or be worth using. Get the one on Amazon that's made of plastic. These won't work.

Plastic? You want plastic on your dick? No. One Star, flat package for small packages. Do not buy unless you want a crinkled pad that's been vacuum sealed like beef jerky. It's vacuum sealed in there and then it's wrinkly which will simulate penis veins so that's probably maybe even better. Set it in the sun, man. Ever the optimist, I hope the pads might come to life once the seal was broken the truth is

One is ruined and with crease lines the imprint on both is hardly visible on its own and would be impossible to see through this Thinest of clothing you're better off stuffing a gym sock in your britches than you buying these pads, okay? Holy Jesus Christ man That is something. All right, one star. I can't believe they make this. I mean, I guess it's something for everybody. One star looks goofy, not convincing.

It moves around too much. I'm a grower and not a shower, like most of you. Again, see, this is another one. Like most of the population, my penis is fine. That's what these people are saying. Yeah, like all of you two also. Don't act like you guys just show it and you're impressive. Yeah, it's weird because remember the women's fake asses we had, the ass underwear?

They were like, my ass is terrible. My ass is the worst. They're happy to admit it. These guys are like, listen, my penis is fine. It's just that I'm like everybody else, guys. Mine's just like yours. Same thing. I'm a grown-out-of-shower like most of you, but you're better off just being yourself.

This would work only maybe if you were wearing tight briefs. Take it from me that most women don't care how big it is as long as you know how to use it." But they are intrigued by penis size. They do like to see the big ones. They like to go, ooh, it gives them a little extra. If you see food and it looks good, it makes you want to eat it more. Even if you serve food you haven't seen and it's the greatest food in the world. Yeah. Here's the other part, James. Everybody's seen porn. You don't see a tiny dick in porn.

No, no. You don't. Because they don't want that. That's not what people are looking for here. One star, men bulge enhance. Not have a bulge pockets underwear, so it's useless. I want to return this item. Make the refund.

Nope, that is your dick padding, sir. That is your dick padding. They do make underwear that has like a little nestle that you can drop your junk in. They're legit and they do give it, maybe that's, it's kind of a pain in the ass if you've got a lot of anything. It really enhances it. But it is nice in the summertime in a dry environment

that's 103,000 degrees. Yeah. Keep your balls sweat to a minimum. Yeah. Yeah. All right. DJ, one star, not as described. Not as described?

It was a vagina. It's a pat. Yeah. Unless it's a fake pussy, it's as described. Showed up, has a line right down the middle. I don't get it. It's weird. I got a little snuckle, everything I wear.

Showed up, it's actually a sex doll. I don't understand it. Terrible product. Penis not visible under swimwear. He really wants it. Why would you want that? You'll end up returning. No you won't. You'll end up keeping it. You'll end up spending $8 and that's yours. Your dick pad. Finally John One Star. Worthless. Don't waste your money. For one, the penis embossing is faint and can't be seen through any clothing and for two. Arrest those people. Why do you want to show people your dick? The outline of your dickhead. Why would you want them to see just a bulge is fine. It's disturbing to look at a man and go, Oh God, I see his actual dickhead pulsing right now

It's very that should be illegal. That's yeah, I mean they you're not allowed to show people your dick So why would you want to show them an outline of your range? It's so strange. I don't get it I don't understand it at all to the embossment is upside down It's up. Okay. Don't know how your flaccid penis hangs, but it sure doesn't hang upwards. Flip it over. You have it on upside down. Holy fuck, all right.

Wow, these people, I don't know what to say about that. They got a lot of fucking problems. Everybody wants people to see their dick so bad. I don't understand why that is. Well, let's take our dicks, put it back in our pants. Thank God, yeah. And let's, we'll do a few here, and we'll these up next week here. We're going to do a few. We're going to go, you know what? I need a, we are in our car for the drive-through and I kind of

liked it. So let's take our car and drive to the Pigeon Forge Gatlinburg KOA holiday. Oh, well, campground. Little campground action. It says the highlights are has camping fee, allows RV camping. Those are your highlights. So it costs to be in there, so it keeps out the riff raff. Yeah, it's not free. And I'm sure, I hope for Lee, there'll be RV hookups for things I would hope and stuff like that.

3122 Veterans Boulevard of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. 24 hours, they are open. Explore all day, camp all night enjoy getting away for a camping trip near the Great Smoky Mountains when you stay at Pigeon Forge Gatlinburg KOA holiday or one of the campgrounds they're open year-round and yeah basically you can go there and whatever the fuck okay here we go so let's start with this person this person I'm impressed with them because they came all the way back from the future

to tell us about this. It's very exciting. Carol, five stars. We stayed here in our RV in August 2025 and really liked it. Excellent. Good for you. Wow.

Thanks for telling us. I mean, I'm glad that it's still going to be nice a year from now. That makes me happy. Could you tell us what's going to happen in the next couple months? How's everything going to go? What's the election going to happen?

That's a, how about that? You should put some money down, baby. Yeah, Super Bowl, elections. You should know who won a lot of things. This is fucking awesome. You're basically Marty McFly here in 2015. Make it work. We stayed here in our RV in August 2025.

Really liked it. There were five days and we wish we had booked longer. Five days at a campground and they wanted to stay longer. At a campground. What the fuck? Excellent internet and TV. Loved, loved, loved. Like there's never a TV anywhere else or internet. Go home. Go to your house or to the fucking cheapest hotel you could find. They all have it. Loved,

loved, loved their lazy river in the warm swimming pool. Okay, that's fun. That's nice. They provide inner tubes and it's so relaxing. Laundry room was good and the showers looked clean and large. Looked clean and large, which means they didn't take a shower in five days. And close to tram service, which I don't blame them.

I'm not going into some fucking campground trailer. If they're in an RV though, they might have their own shower. That's true too. That could be good. Otherwise they'll say hose me off. I don't give a shit. I'm not going in there. Just hose me. Yeah, cold fucking cold water. I don't care. Trace gives five stars. What can I say? Honestly one of the best campgrounds we've ever stayed with. The staff are courteous, efficient, friendly and fun.

The bathrooms and showers worked well, clean and never a wait. The lazy river and pool are spectacular. Laundry facilities well maintained. The campsite looks small but plenty of room to spread out and have privacy. Really top notch. If you're bored in Pigeon Forge, you're boring because there's lots to do and the trolleys were great. Are you bored in Pigeon Forge?

If you don't love Pigeon Forge, that's your problem is what they just said. Wow, okay. Alright, three stars, Laurie. If quiet and the ability to sleep is important to you, this KOA might not be for you. No, it's a party. That's not good. There did seem to be a lot of amenities for kids and a pool, but that was not important to us.

We wanted a quiet and convenient place to sleep, but between the music blasting at the pool until 10.05 p.m., starting again at eight, 10 a.m., that's quiet times, probably. It's probably 10 to eight are probably quiet times. So they- There's plenty of time. That's 10 hours. Yeah, they just followed the rules. Go the fuck to sleep.

They followed the rules. If you want to go to bed at 9 fucking 10, maybe go home and do it. Not everyone else goes to bed at 9 o'clock. Sorry. Specifically when you're camping, nobody, people stay up at night. I would imagine so. It's fucking drinking time. The dogs barking at the RV a few feet from our heads and the people hammering their tent

poles in at 11pm also a few feet away, not to mention the loud trucks and motorcycles all night long. Sleep was elusive. Also, we could not get hot water in my shower. Partner did. Bathrooms were clean. Did appreciate that there was some tree cover to the site. We would have liked a little bit more, was not crazy about the leaf blowers in the morning. At

that point we decided to skip our planned trip to Dollywood and forgo our second night, even though it cost $120 for a tent site. You could have gotten a hotel room for that money. A decent hotel. You could have gotten a fucking, you know, a double tree or, you know, somewhere, you know, it's going to be clean and nice. I've been to KOAs before, but after this experience, I'm done with KOAs. Done with it. Yeah. She's done.

She's done with the whole thing here. Three stars from Emmett. When we registered, the staff was horse playing and treating the same people from the trampoline park. What's going on? It's a goddamn campground, man. What do you want? They're fucking around. Yeah, how serious do you want these people to be?

Honestly, suit and tie? There's probably a watermelon spitting contest at the fucking noon. That's what I mean. When I go here, don't expect much. I expect you to just check me in. When I go to the bank, I don't expect horse play. I don't expect the tellers

to be fucking around behind there. Let's be serious, my money's in here. Everywhere else, who cares? The escort drove very fast and it was hard to follow him since the roads are narrow. We were in site H with RV pad at nine foot. There was a tree against the RV pad and causing patio to raise and crack causing a trip hazard. So a tree root cracked the concrete in the patio and the thing, that happens.

The sites and roads are tight in this park causing the need to move tow vehicle, to, or I guess tow vehicle, to allow other RVs. It's a car with a drag behind RV, you know what I mean? Oh! Like a bumper pole RV. Gotcha, that makes sense. The sites and roads are tight.

Okay, that makes sense. I will say the park is close to many activities and has direct access to the trolley and a greenway. I learnt, learnt with a T, learnt the park is cooperate. I learnt the park is cooperate. What the fuck are you talking about? So maybe the above action of staff and the camping and the cramping of sites is money over RVers comfort it might be corporate corporate is what yeah

Corporate is what they're going for and they spelled cooperate. That's just not corporate not the same word. Okay Princess gives it one star. Oh princess princesses, you've angered the princess, be careful. There's royal blood here, you guys. Oh, Jesus, this is terrible. Yeah, man, it's so sad when the princess gets angry. It's not fair. The village will pay. Someone will pay with their lives,

I'll tell you that right now. We used to love this place, but unfortunately, it's totally lacking these days. The price has doubled. Unless you stay in one of their new deluxe sites. Your site is going to be completely worn out. It's a campsite. The workers also don't do anything to attempt to keep the campground peaceful. There's a quiet time but the drunks partied all night long for several nights in a row. That's why they're there. Yes. That's the only reason.

If they weren't drunks and heathens, they'd be in a hotel. They'd be in a hotel. They're here because they got kicked out of many hotels. So they bought an RV. The red roof will not allow them. They're banned at every economy chain motel there is. The no roof hotel. We were also told there's, I'm sorry, blasting music Yeah blasting music screaming etc after quiet time is ridiculous And I'm not sure why there's even a quiet time if it isn't enforced We were also told that there's garbage pick up if you leave it by the road But ours was left out and there was there for two days and never picked up The internet was also not working for the entirety of the stay here I definitely recommend never wasting your time with this place." Holy fucking

shit. So you know what? Let's leave off on that one and we will start back up. The princess is ruined. The princess has destroyed everything. So she's burned the village to the ground. We're going to have to start from scratch next week. So we're gonna start there on Monday with some more campground reviews. Hope you enjoyed all people's bitching and moaning. And if you have a small penis, like most everybody, don't mind.

Just like everybody, no different than the other guys. Pretty good assumption to make, just that all dicks are tiny. They must all be like mine, right? Nobody's packing any cock. Except for the 11 guys that are in porn. That's it, they found the 11 guys on earth with penises over three inches long and they use them.

Everyone else, tiny, tiny little dick. Don't let anybody tell you differently. I've seen a guy two-hand it and stuff it in a woman before. Yeah, wow. I know that they exist and are used. It's out there. So there you go. Hope you enjoyed that and avoid the campgrounds.

We're going to talk more about that next week. Watch your kids on the trampolines, obviously. Thank you so much for joining us, everybody. Follow on social media, comment and like and do all that kind of shit. And of course, listen to our other two shows crime in sports and Small-town murder you will fucking love them. Thank you so much everybody see you next week Thanks for watching.