Your Stupid Opinions - Unfunny Comedy Club, Dark Gun Shop, Clone Your Willy

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

We check out reviews from all around the internet, including comedy club that just makes people angry. A very personal item that allows you to recreate a part of you. A gun shop with dark corners to explore. A Wendy's that really seems to want you to go away & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello everybody and welcome back to Your Stupid Opinions. Hey! Hello there. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you so much for joining us on another edition of Your Stupid Opinions where we hear people's sometimes stupid and sometimes relevant and sometimes correct opinions about things from all over the internet. There's reviews for everything and we all do it. We all get lost in the review

section. So let's do that together like we've been doing for this is the 42nd straight week. So let's get right into that. First of all though I have to do say I have to say that these are not our reviews, as we always say. These are other people's reviews, we're reading them. Because we've had people actually, I've gotten messages of people saying they're angry at me for reading a review that I was like, it's not mine.

I didn't say it. That's not true, that place is great. Okay, I'm sure, I'm sure it is. Are we ready to five star too? I don't know what to say. Do you own it? Yeah, if you do, then you have other conversations to have. They ask you about that manager they were talking about.

So also definitely follow on social media and also everywhere else. You'll find groups and everything where they hang out and talk. So that said, let's get right into this. Here we go. With something we know quite a bit about. Oh. I figure a lot of these places where like we've never been to anything like that before

like you know oh crazy like the swingers the indoor miniature golf it's like a like a nightclub too like we've never been to anything like that but where we where we have spent quite a bit of time though is a comedy club. Yeah. And so let's talk about a comedy club. Let's burn some bridges Jimmy what do you say? Let's sink a club. Let's burn some bridges, Jimmy. What do you say? Let's sink a ship. Let's fucking do it. I've never been to this comedy club. No.

And I will say this comedy club right here, when you, when you, when we hear about it and when you hear all everything, this is the reason why we thank our lucky stars every single fucking day we wake up that we have these podcasts So we don't have to go to places like this every fucking weekend to make our living honestly. I swear to God It is in Indianapolis, Indiana crackers crackers Really crackers yeah, not crack ups or cracker cracking and jokes crackers I Get that you mean joke crackers but it sounds like

obviously not that crackers comedy club too which is oh KK CCC which it's just weird so that's good yeah it's and there let's give their overview their description of themselves because you know they can describe themselves national and breaking comedians perform at this club and bar, also hosting open mic nights. Oh yeah. And they spell, this is on their fucking shit on Google, they spell Mike, M-I-K-E, like a guy named Mike. So just when there's a guy there that's named Mike

and he'll blow anybody, those nights are there too. He's wide open. He's wide open. It's 207 North Delaware Street in Indianapolis Now it's doesn't seem wonderful. Let's talk about it. Yeah, let's give David his say first of all here David gives five stars. He loves it. He loves it. There's a couple people that love it five stars Not a bad little venue. I had a great time and the team there was welcoming However, I will say that something about Midwesterners has me questioning if they have sticks up their butts or not. What?

Talking about the crowd now. Yeah, there were some pretty funny jokes, but the house was dead lighten up Indianapolis Which is weird because I find the Midwest to be great audiences for comedy Yeah, I want an audience full of Dave's because he seems like an easy target. He seems like I'm here to laugh Why don't you happen? I don't great audience laugh at anything. Oh, what a great crowd when you get a crowd That's there to laugh like yeah with those Saturday night early shows where it's like all people their fucking Babysitters for their kids are like listen. I get out once every three months, I'm getting hammered and I'm laughing. I don't care what you say. I'll laugh at the setup. It doesn't even need to be a punchline. I gotta wake up tomorrow and mow the lawn. Tonight is my night out. This is it right here. I'm gonna talk about this

at work for a month. So next up, I won't give this person's name and you'll know why in a second because I will not promote them because that's why They're doing this for you. Oh you have yourselves five stars. My name is blank blank and I'm gonna spy not aspiring inspiring comedian Inspiring I tie I inspire people like an angel basically I Just inspire people to do good things and deeds and take care of old people and puppies. I just tell nice stories, no humor.

That's all, I tell nice Christian inspiring stories. At least that's what they said, inspiring. Is there something wrong with this person? The only time I've heard inspiring with a comedian is if they have a malady of some kind. Like our friend that's in a wheelchair, I've heard people come up to him and go you're very inspiring. It's like I wanted to make you laugh Yeah, it's like he's had 12 fireball shots and he's got pee in his pants. I don't care these in a wheelchair He's not inspiring anybody don't aspire or be inspired by this person

He can drink all that cuz he doesn't have to stay. Yeah, that's the point He's got a fucking chair. If I had a chair, I'd be this shit face too. What a good time for me and my friends in my first set. So this person had their first set. That is inspiring. It was fantastic. If you think you're funny, drop that email and see what happens.

So head there for open mic night. That's an open mic or whose friends are nice to him. Right. Yeah, okay. And the club was nice to him because he brought a shitload of people. He brought people. You bring a small club like that on a weeknight,

you bring 10 people, you're king of the fucking valley. You can do anything you want there. They'll kick people out of the green room for you. Oh, he's got 10 people, get out! They're all buying cheese sticks, move! Yeah, all the liquid death is for him All the liquid test John gives five stars here local comedy makes a great date night. It is a good time You laugh together crackers features comedians from around the nation

together, Crackers features comedians from around the nation, and features a full bar to deliver a night you won't forget. If you spend your time in Broad Ripple, what the fuck is that? Is that the town that it's in? I don't know, no it's in Indianapolis, like downtown. Or want a reason to come out to the rich nightlife of Indianapolis? Yeah, some of you live way the fuck out in Baroda Ripple. Wow, treat yourself to a night of laughs. Indianapolis is not the place for nightlife, by the way.

When you're walking around, you go, did people forget that this place is a place that exists? When you're driving around, there's a whole lot of clouds, like steam. Yeah, things coming up. Industrial shit coming up. It's like Pittsburgh, 1972, weird. Industrial shit coming up. It's like Pittsburgh, 1972. Yeah, it's very strange.

Jim gives one star, substituted a ridiculously untalented comic for the headliner. Okay, well, sounds like somebody got sick. Somebody didn't show up. Yeah, it sounds like somebody didn't show up. Somebody missed a flight. Somebody got sick, and that happens. No heads up. You get a substitute car. That happens.

And it happens and it's kind of the same rule as like on Broadway, if you show up and you go, where the fuck is this, oh it's an understudy tonight. Tough shit, that's what happens. That's what we got. It sucks, yeah. That sucks, it does. No, not saying it doesn't.

And if you paid for the ticket to see that particular person, generally the club will give you an opportunity to get a ticket later for a different show or whatever. But if you choose to just sit through whatever we give you, then that's on you, man. Then you chose that this is what you wanted. We're all out of steak. Here's some chicken. I don't want chicken.

Okay, well then you don't have to pay for anything. But if you eat the chicken, you can't go, what, that's not free? You ate it. Also, Monty Hall doesn't say, yeah, there's a goat there. Do you want to try again? No, you got the goat. You got it No explanation. No refund. No empathy empathy Well, did someone kidnap your baby and drown it in the fucking river? What are you talking about empathy?

What's your address? I'll send you a get well soon Good lord. The club is on the way out the sooner they put this dog down the better for everyone It's for its own good. It's limping, having a hard time getting out to pee. It's just a problem. Well here's why he was upset they gave him a different, he's funnier than the comic is. He's great. We have one later where I'm like this person really nailed it. They should, they did it. Oh my God. Put this dog down. Now a lot of complaints about the owner slash manager.

Oh. Jay gives one star. The owner is a complete crazy witch. Oh, it's a woman, huh? Yeah, I don't know if she's brewing spells up or if they're just saying, didn't wanna use bitch in here, but we had a very large party.

Those are the worst in a comedy club, by the way. No good, no good. You ruined the whole the worst in a comedy club by the way. You ruined the whole show for everyone, congratulations, including the comic. You always sit somebody that talks on the other end of the table from the other person that talks and now they're shouting down the table. I know, no Saturday, no we'll go, yes, next Saturday.

Is your mom coming? Shut the fuck up! How about that? It's funny because it's true! Okay, all right, you should have sat next to them. Oh my God. So we had a very large party that made reservations a month in advance and they refused to seat us together,

even remotely together. Oh, that's fun. So now they're shouting across the club. That's gonna be even better. Also, they only had one server scheduled. How big is this club? It can't be that big. It must be tiny, big. Because like the clubs in Arizona that we did like you needed like 12 fucking servers on one person. One person serving stand up live? That would be insane.

Serving 400 people? How do you do that? Or 600 if it's stand up live? They knew they were going to be packed that night. No preparation was made. All our drink orders were completely mixed up as well. All right, Taylor one star. The owner in downtown Indianapolis was the, all caps, worst person I think I've ever came in contact with in their whole life. The worst person ever was this one comedy club owner.

She did name a club Crackers. Crackers. And apparently there's more than one that she owns. Really? Yeah. Apparently there's more than one crackers. To continue business and achieve better reviews, she needs to be kept behind the scenes and not working the floor. She was not only extremely rude slash aggressive to me, my friends and family, but was rude to everyone she came in contact with. The staff was great and came up immediately after and apologized for her actions. And the comedians were hilarious.

Well then that's all you should really give a fuck about. That's it, that's the show. So the owner's Kurt, she's a business woman. She might be a little shrewd. Yeah, and a lot of these fucking comedy club owners are assholes also. This is the other thing. They're failed comedians, most of them.

They're bitter, failed assholes. Yeah. And every person that goes up there, they're jealous of. most of them. They're bitter failed assholes. Yeah And every person that goes up there, they're jealous of and then you have to deal with it Yeah, that's that's that's every Booker and every fucking every club owner that exists failed comics. So That was good. Her actions definitely ruined the first half of the show for us and came very close to leaving I know this isn't the first review I've seen of this nature so I really hope the message is clear to this woman and something makes her change her attitude and her customer service and then for some reason in quotes, skills. Yeah I'm sure your words are going to make her go get customer service skills.

She's going to change. She's going to go, oh Taylor said that? Oh no not Taylor. Not Taylor Skylar gives one star this place went all caps downhill Yeah, downhill the server was absolutely rude the comedy was not funny Okay The drinks are now from a two-liter. Okay, that's ghetto as fuck

You cannot know you can't get behind a bar and start pouring from two liters. It just says cola on the outside. What is this, Papa John? Stop it. No, you don't do that. I've seen places that like their guns don't work and I'm always suspicious of that and they like, they have cans of soda.

Yeah, that sucks too. Okay, that sucks, but a two liter, no. A two liter's crazy. Not happening. And they charge you three to four dollars for a small glass of Coke out of a two-liter. That's gross. That's not good. By the time you get to the last few, it's so flat.

So flat. Why does a two-liter go flat faster than every other way of- It's as soon as the first glass is poured. Yeah, it's over. It's done. Unless you pour glass is poured. Yeah, it's over. It's gone. Unless you pour it all out in glasses right at the top, like a... It's ruined. You're passing around a champagne bottle or something.

I don't know. It's destroyed. I don't know why that shit, why the carbonation gets out of that soda faster than every other way of bottling it. Oh, my grandmother used to buy the fucking three-liter bottles of store-brand soda. Oh my God, that's so much. It's so flat. There was never even a hint of a bubble. You pour the whole glass and not even one little fizz bubble comes

up. It's like cola juice. It was like coffee. It was just like cold black substance. So yeah three to four dollars actually is not a bad price for a soda at a comedy club. But if it's from a two liter, different thing. The staff was rude, it was not fun and not clean. All right, Jenny says one star, I was very disappointed with the way my friends and I were treated on a night out to celebrate my birthday. Oh no.

You made it about you. And then they asked, they said, it's her birthday to the comedian. And the comedian said, I don't give a fuck if it's her birthday or not. Shut up. Cause that's, you know, you're at a show and all. The comedian was absolutely terrible. That just means he wouldn't wish her happy birthday and make a big deal out of her. He wouldn't involve your table. I'm so sorry. And you could have heard a pin drop. We were thrown

out. Oh you're them. Yeah let's see what this story really is about. If you've been in a comedy club a lot like we have we know exactly who this lady is. We know exactly what happened. If you're thrown out of a comedy club you're a fucking nightmare. You're a nightmare. They want you to have fun. You're a nightmare. Listen to this. We were thrown out and the waitress told me to shut the fuck up when I was... That's a great waitress. Promote her to manager. She should be manager. Told me to shut the fuck up when I was explaining that we were not being disruptive. Hey stupid, your explanation is disruptive. Any talking while the fucking show is going on, are you telling a joke that we're paying you to do?

No? Then shut the fuck up. That's how a comedy club works. We're beyond the, your disruption doesn't need an explanation. And now that you're explaining, you're more of a disruption. Get the fuck out and shut the fuck up. This is very personal for us. This is a thing, because we've been on that stage going,

what's going on down there? What are you doing as someone's getting thrown out? Yeah, you're getting thrown out before the guy you want to see is on stage. How fucking, how much of a problem are you? That's a huge problem. David one star, well, our group was having a good time, but our group was kicked out for being loud.

And then in parentheses, laughing. Laughing, yeah, of course. I was laughing, no you weren't. No you weren't, you were talking is what you were doing, with laughter in between. So we got kicked out. The manager was a horrible redheaded woman. Like he's trying to say, just a horrible redheaded woman and she just came at me.

A horrible redheaded woman. I guess that's the owner, huh? That's the one. She was horrible! Three exclamation points. Comedy clubs are fun, but not here not here well crackers we are done this is great here Karen not surprisingly gives one star here Dwight Simmons who I don't know who that is comedian Dwight Simmons was the worst comedian that I have ever seen poor Dw Dwight. Jesus Christ Dwight. What did you do to this

lady? He just got himself an Instagram follower. I'm finding him. Oh that's what I mean. Just for this. See how bad he is. That's all. He's got to be terrible. Or maybe not. We have been to Cracker so many times. This experience will most likely make it our last. He knew he was bombing but never tried to change anything up. Well that's because that's his act. Yeah. If someone's up there playing country music and nobody likes it he's not going to start rapping next. Maybe they'll like this. Maybe I'll do interpretive dance. No, that's his act. Maybe you, that whole crowd wasn't his. I mean, that's fine.

Then she sums it up though. Maybe getting drunk before taking the stage wasn't a good idea. That's a problem. That'll do it here. That's the one. Seen that. Oh Jesus.

This lady I'll go through pretty quick. Anna, one star. I've been to this comedy club and every time it's been subpar. My experience tonight was even less than that as a middle-aged grumpy woman. I assume this is the manager Say was she horrible and redheaded was determined to make our group our grump I guess group absolutely silent after speaking with a few of my friends and observing her we even think she is the general manager

She was rude as heck about my group laughing with the comedians and crowd Talking about the jokes and even not playing along No, that's why that's you just said it Talking about no no here's our work the joke and shut the fuck up shut the fuck up wait for another laugh laugh Shut the fuck up That's how that's the fucking Joe talking about And even playing along no no one wants you to play along Shut up. That's your play. That's your role

Holy shit Jesus this is a damn it. This is fucking crazy. Yeah Even play every time I come to crackers. I'm even more sure about this place getting work stop going there if you hate it so much that's the other thing you don't like it stop they don't want you there I assure you it's no wonder the broad ripple location ran out of business I guess that's what that is you're not even letting your guests have fun have fun finding another job after you ruin everyone's comedy night okay Okay. Jesus Christ. And then finally here, we will do this last one. One show, or one star from Josh. Weird show last night.

Oh. Owner slash headliner. What? She does comedy? Apparently, that's one of those small, we've been to those clubs where the owner'll do the fun. Yeah. Owner slash headliner kicked off an open mic comedian

for saying the f-word oh great was it oh it's a pain club I don't feel bad anymore hey crackers go fuck your mother's will never set foot in your shithole but later on he said it himself and wasn't even very funny so yeah he didn't want the openers cursing so he could and then he swears he's one of those pieces of shit who tells their openers what to do. Yeah, an asshole. An asshole, completely. Okay, there was that. Then this person, Simon One Star,

never go to the open mic night, it was dreadful, left halfway through for a colonoscopy which was more entertaining than the comedians they had. Boom! Simon, mic drop, pow! Colonoscopy,opy sticks up my ass And rather have that I'd rather have you shovel fucking 12 foot long tube up my ass and tell any more jokes Is what he just said to the comedian and then finally this is not for this club

But it was another club. I was looking up where the reviews weren't that funny, but this one review is so funny I have to say it this is from the Funny Bone in Dayton, Ohio, the Dayton Funny Bone, which again is one of the reasons why I fucking pray at night that these shows last forever because I never wanna have to go to the Dayton Funny Bone. I'm not saying Dayton Funny Bone's bad, that town is bad.

Yeah. It's so bad. And if I'm at that club, it means it's rock fucking bottom people Help help. It means help is what it means. Here we go. Tina one star. That's just one review I was trying to have fun and have laughs as I just lost my husband to suicide. Oh, why would you do this? Don't do this. Why? Both comedians talked way too much about shooting in the mouth. With what?

We don't know. But shooting or having themselves hung is what they was joking about. Usually I'm not offended, but this happened just three weeks ago with my husband and I didn't appreciate it by any means. They don't know your... they have no idea what you've been through. There will be suicide jokes probably. It's gonna... because comedians think about killing themselves about 46, 47 times a day. That's why. If the whole act isn't...

24 hours. Yeah, if the whole act isn't about it, we're hiding it well. That's how it works. Wow. Okay, so that was an annoying experience. In case it ever happens again and we're ever annoyed by anybody, let's go buy a gun, Jimmy. What do you say? Don't mess with us anymore. We're going to Nagel's Gun Shop, which is in San Antonio, Texas, 6201 San Pedro Avenue, San Antonio, Texas. And, uh. Is this in a house?

No, this is an actual big gun shop. They have a range and shit there. It's a big place. Oh my God, so you can test it? Jesus. Or you could use ammo, whatever. So here's John Five Stars, and here's some pictures, by the way, I'll show you the inside of it.

I wanna roll over here for a second. But you can see, it's a big place, and a lot of guns. Big wood floor. Yeah, wood floors. It looks very San Antonio. I've been looking for a particular firearm for quite some time. Just say it like Sam Elliott, I think. They have it at a great price. The staff was friendly and knowledgeable. They told me beef is what's for dinner. I was not rushed and he answered all my questions. The options were fabulous. The store was clean and really laid out well. Great selection. And did I mention the price was better than what I would have found elsewhere

or even online? Thank you, Jack, for all your help. I drove down from Austin to come here. Great use selection, too And I'm gonna head on home and celebrate with a banquet. Yeah, it was a banquet and then he tips his cat down. Yeah Paul gives five stars fast Eddie was great. Oh, it's fast at it. You're buying guns from a guy named fast Eddie I feel like that's not legitimate, right? No, that's someone's trunk you buy him out of. I'm eating Fast Eddie behind the supermarket. He's going to sell me some guns. Bringing his friends coat. Personal, professional, and knowledgeable.

Okay, that's it. That's the whole review. That's it. That's it. That's the review. Great. Fast Eddie rules. Questionable man.

Fast Eddie rules, bro. Rock and roll. Yeah. Next up, one star. Good luck at this FUD factory. F-U-D-D. FUD? Yeah, Elmer FUD?

FUD. Several people mentioned FUD in this. What does that mean? And then other people mentioned a lot of old people here. I think this means there's old people here. I think that's Texas for old person, I think, is FUD. That's all I can glean from this this Customer service is non-existent. I guess if you look a certain way, then they don't think you should own a firearm No explanation

Doesn't say what way till you look or sad sad because I went in to buy two long guns over a thousand dollars each Happy the other shop down the road had what I needed and treated me better. So you didn't even buy anything there. Next up one star, Daniel or David, can't remember his name. Don't give a shit. Young dude it says, can't remember his name, young dude.

Was very helpful. Give him a raise and fire the other old fuzz, I think that's a term, yeah. Working there that think they're above providing basic customer service, a better place to shop for guns, literally any other gun shop or pawn shop in the state of Texas or pawn shop pawn shop. Rather buy a gun next to a used chain saw.

Next up one star from Chris. I attempted next to a used chainsaw. Fuck. Next up, one star from Chris. I attempted to purchase a shotgun. Which seems like exactly what the store is made for. Right. My CHL, I guess, what is that? Is that the... Concealed? Concealed weapons, yeah. Possibly. Concealed happens.

Yeah, handgun license. Do you need that in Texas? Probably. Okay. Yeah handgun license does do you need that in Texas? Probably probably for a handgun probably for fucking any other there's only you don't have it And it just lapsed in Arizona where you know you don't have to have you don't have you say me you used to have a you Used to have to have one for yeah, and years and years. Yeah, you know like yeah, okay The store clerk stated I must update my DL driver's license online to make my addresses match Which I did in the store however the Texas DPS receipt only showed my billing address for the $10 card payment DPS required the clerk stated Why would you try to go buy a gun with?

Address is not magic. You fucking lunatic. You moron. That's your fault. Yeah, the clerk stated the manager would not accept it and I have to come back. That makes sense. That's the rules. That's the fucking law. Fuck rules. Laws motherfucker. I knew it was a rule but I didn't know it was a law. You can't have a gun unless we know where you live you fucking lunatic. That idiot's line comes back over and over and over again Whereas I knew it was a rule, I knew it was a law. Holy shit. Interestingly enough, during the course of these events, two other Nagel employees were quote coaching another customer on how to complete the computer data and questionnaire. This is after the customer had failed to complete correctly two or three times before.

You're too dumb to own a firearm if you can't complete the form. That's part of the test. You can't do the background check? No, why can you operate a gun? Are you too stupid to fill out a form? You can't have a gun, sorry, period. That's it, this is a test.

There's a much bigger responsibility beyond this paperwork, no. This is after the customer is okay. Amazing how security slash procedure matters in one instance but not another. I will never return to this store. Well he had his paperwork in line sir. He just needed to be told how to write his name. His addresses match. He's just too dumb to fill out a form. Yeah he can't check boxes but we know where he lives. Fuck. Ruben One Star, terrible customer service. The older Hispanic man with glasses called my sister my girlfriend and then all caps

multiple times after I corrected him. That's hilarious, he's fucking with you, that's why. He doesn't care, man. Very rude, then be delayed her purchase, I guess then he delayed her purchase, on her birthday. Oh,, on her birthday. Oh god, on her birthday. Everybody thinks their birthday matters to anybody except for them and their immediate family.

There are 7 billion people 365 days. Your birthday's not special. Sorry. Not fucking at all here. Okay. Dolo, one star, went in to buy a gun for the first time. I'm a beginner and interested in learning more about firearms and how to handle them.

Well, Rico was so not helpful, like he just wanted to go home. You should be willing to help people who don't know what you know since you work there. Well yeah, I think that's the whole point of his job, right? Is to give help. Rico, you got a responsibility too. Customers may not be as knowledgeable in firearms so be helpful and teach us about your product. These are the same

assholes that work in a guitar store. Yeah. They're the same guys. Yeah. They're gonna try to act like they know more about you no matter what because that's just how they are. You don't even know how to shred, why are you here? Yeah, what do you want? Yeah, I guess that's good if you suck. Here, check it out. Of course you want it acoustic you fucking dork. I didn't get any of that from this place. Just attitude that makes you want to leave, which I did, which I did want to, but my husband wanted to purchase the gun anyway. He's gonna hear about that because if your wife is mad at these people, fucking leave. Don't give them money, because then you have to,

it's not gonna work out that way. Can't believe he treats customers like that and it goes on without notice or reprimand. Well yeah, you bought the gun, who's gonna reprimand him? They don't care. It looks like a successful transaction Wish I could get my money back We could probably sell a gun get your money back

Cam one star used to be an interesting place to explore all what the fuck. I'm sorry This just made me crazy to explore all the dark corners for a gun. What no What is this somebody's basement? What are you talking about? What is going on here? There shouldn't be any dark corners. Well lit. Show me the ones with body counts. Yeah, show me the ones with the numbers scratched off in the back, please. Yeah, I know you know the ones. I need to know this is taking a man's life. You gotta pull one of the rifles down and a secret door opens up. Give me the one that holds the soul.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, where's the soul gun? Even if, even then if you didn't know a salesman, they were extremely unfriendly. The guy that sells knives who is currently in charge of quote, the list. The list? I don't know what list that is. Just as mean. He's just list that is. Just as mean. He's just mean to you.

He was mean. Sounds like a fourth grader. He doesn't want to sell knives. Wow, that's got a weird job then, if he doesn't want to sell. It's like, I'm keeping them. These are all mine. I don't want to sell any of them.

Just to look at. Can't part with it. He certainly doesn't want to be in charge of the list. Well, I don't either at this point. I don't want to be in charge. More list. Well, I don't either at this point I don't know if you charge more of a responsibility than having my paperwork in line Is that all who's allowed to buy knives? What is it being able to fill out a form? I don't know what's going on Once you get into the store you best go directly to the gun you want and cough up the money immediately

Or you will be rushed out of the store You can't get rushed if you're be rushed out of the store. You can't get rushed. If you're getting rushed out of there and your background check is being done rushed, then this place should be shut the fuck down. Yeah, they're not doing it correctly. No. Buying a gun takes hours. It's crazy.

It's, I would assume, it takes so long. It's probably like buying a car, I would think. Yeah. There's a lot of legal requirements. There's like somebody on the end of a fax line somewhere taking applications and checking shit. Like when you get financing for a car it's a similar transaction I would imagine. You gotta sit there and wait. Yeah. The inventory isn't on display, that seems like a problem. No that's not good. You cannot look around. Every

single one of the salmon, salmon I guess salesman is what they're going for but they said salmon, every one of the salmon is rude and disrespectful. Well that's why they're delicious though. The surlyness makes them extra fatty. Well if you press a button they'll sing to you. Take me down to the river. Put me in the water. You sell guns, correct?

Yes. Don't know how. Store without the man who started the operation is lost in the past with a crew of relics that clock in and clock out I have you're selling it out there go to another store you're annoying you that guy shouldn't have a gun no that's what I mean I don't know what you're gonna give and understand you what are you talking about oh my god next up dawn with a very Texas review here one star rude is all get out Went into buy a high dollar shotgun and was met at the door by an eight dollar an hour gate mouth that asked me what I

wanted What's happening gate mouth, what do you want mouth breather shouldn't have called, gate mouth? What do you want, mouth breather? Shouldn't have called him gate mouth, probably. Right, Jesus. Maybe he would have been nicer. Once I found the shotgun, I asked to look at it, and the salesperson told me I had to get in line, which he jawed to his friends about nothing, while he jawed to his friends about nothing.

There's a fucking line. I will take my business to collectors' firearms in Houston, real salespeople that appreciate their, not correct there, customers. Houston and San Antonio by the way are like fucking six European countries apart. It's like Italy, Belgium, France and Germany to get to fucking San Antonio from Houston. It's really far. entirely different.

Not the same markets here at all. Okay, here we go. I think we'll do one more Brianna one star horrible horrible experience. Okay, I would rate no stars if I could First they sell me a gun that they knew I couldn't possess being under 21 What what the fuck are you they're selling Miners handguns what the fuck is happening and you know ones? No, yeah something is a 21 to be have a handgun. I think is that what it is I think I don't know the law is but maybe or maybe you had to yeah, you're probably right at 18

I can probably have rifles and yeah 21 they can have a handgun that probably makes sense Wow Then when I try to get my money back, you know, because I'm not allowed to have this legal. Because you guys just broke the law. Yeah, you broke the law. Well, now I'm standing here holding this breaking the law. Right. Now I'm illegal. So help me here. Yeah. They only want to offer 10 to 20% of almost $800. They're like, we'll give you pawn prices for it. Yeah, that's illegal now. Yeah. Then try to call me a liar and say none of their employees told me I could have the gun and be under 21, which they did.

Is she holding it? Is it from your store? Did she pay you for it? That's it! I have a receipt and I'm under 21, so obviously somebody fucked up. If I leave here, I'm getting arrested. Yeah I would have never bought the gun if I knew I couldn't use it common sense. Yeah. Yeah that's terrible okay. I can't believe they allowed her to buy it. I can't either. So now that we're armed and dangerous. We're armed, we're ready to go here, we've got a good nights entertainment in us. Let's go somewhere where we may need this gun a fucking inner city

Philadelphia Wendy's Some shit going down at this Wendy's boy this Wendy's by the way is at 77 7700 City Line Avenue, Philly in down to look kind of that downtown area Is that down that city? I think the City Line Avenue. Yeah, I Uh-huh. In downtown, kind of that downtown area. Is that downtown? No, that's city, I think the City Line Avenue, yeah, I think it's pretty close to, not downtown, but I think it's in the city part.

7700, that's pretty far out, isn't it? It seems far out there, but I don't know, who knows? It may be in a metropolis suburb of Philly, I don't know. Yeah, that's possible too. 3.2 stars they have. Okay. And this is with 1.2 thousand reviews. Wendy's, where they got the fucking Baconator, this is with 1.2 thousand reviews. Wendy's. Where they got

the fucking Baconator and they got 3.2 stars. Well they have an overview. Here's their description. Fast food burger chain serving sides such as chili and baked potatoes. Yeah. As we've had a Wendy's before because there was the whole baked potatoes thing a long time ago. Somebody made 30 baked potatoes. Yeah, the baked potato lady here. Let's lead off with Leslie with five stars. We went through the drive through for my cousin, cousin C-U-Z-N by the way. I assume that's cousin. She said everything was hot and delicious.

She asked if they put onion on the burger and they said yes. However, it was one ring in the middle of the burger lol it was our only complaint that's an onion is it on there yep there it is the nuggets were hot and the food good the guy taking the order sounded like he needed to go back to bed but the pickup window is fine overall would go back so you didn't even eat the food your cousin did that's fucking wild wild. Next up Raymond, three stars. His thing is, his review is just the stars and then it has recommended dishes, salad sandwich, parking space, difficult to find, parking options, free parking lot, and then parking parking he just puts basketball I don't

know what that means I have no idea what that means what does that fucking mean yeah he gave up on the answer he just bad thinking about basketball pussy he's got lucky wasn't thinking about that that chicks fat ass yeah but but Martina gives three stars. I noticed that employees are not wearing serving gloves or hair nets. The cashier is taking money from customers, then going over to the food area to bag up food

without washing or sanitizing her hands. Okay, but bagging up, she's touching wraps. She's touching the wrappers. Yeah, not the actual food. The food was not that hot. That's one of those things where, yeah, I don't know if that's policy or whatever, but I can live with that. Yeah.

And when have you ever had a cheeseburger from anywhere that's a fast food joint and the cheese is fucking melted? It's always- It's never melted. It's always cold. It's always partially melted, yeah. McDonald's puts that soft ass cheese on it because they know it's not going to melt. And they just pray to fuck that the warmth gets it to adhere to the burger.

That's all they care about. Melt that Kraft single just a little bit, just a drop. Make the bread stick. Just so the corners go around on the sides of the burger. Sue gives one star. I just went through the drive-through, and the rude woman who was taking the order just kept shouting, we're only taking cash.

We're only taking cash in between everything I ordered like don't order stop ordering we're only taking cash really think it but I'd like a baconator we're only taking cash as sour cream and un-chive baked potato we're only taking cash okay that's so good just so you know you should have answered her by saying I got it cash just so you know only cash you should have answered her by saying, okay, I got it, cash. Just so you know, only cash. In between everything I ordered, she just kept screaming, we're only taking cash. We have not ones and we have no change.

So you need exact change too if you're gonna come here. I paid by cash. When I got to the second window, I asked for the ranch dressing I had ordered and the next woman said she didn't ring that in. I said I would gladly pay for it now, with cash, and she said, no, my machine doesn't work. You'll have to get back in line to buy a ranch. I need you to make another order, please. Yeah, I need you to go back around and let your food get cold. Wow.

I asked, since the line was so long, if I might have the packet as a courtesy for the cash trouble and she said no No, no, no, that's okay. We sell ranches here. Wow Very unprofessional for the food service industry not for the fast food service. No, it's Pretty par for the course there. This isn't fine for everything. This isn't Morton's. You know what I mean? Calm down Okay, Nemo one star. I was disappointed with my food order and the customer service I received. I ordered the spicy chicken and didn't want mayo. Ah, more sympathetic I could not be.

More sympathetic. If there's mayo on that it will be destroyed because it will be in every crevice of the fried chicken. You're fucked. You're fucked. Just throw it in the garbage. You're gonna get sick. Yep. I open it up. Why do you want mayo on fried chicken anyway? Who wants that? That comes on that shit. Oh, god damn it. It's disgusting. I don't understand. I don't understand mayo on a hot sandwich. It's...

No, it doesn't work. I know people are gonna disagree with me, but I don't fucking care. You're gonna get so sick. Good. You deserve it. There's bacteria in that. People are gonna disagree with me, but I get so sick good you deserve it Bacteria in that yep thoughts of it, and you're making it worse. You know it's in there eggs eggs You're gonna warm that up with Fucking that's what it says keep refrigerated because it's stuff in there goes bad. You can't get that warm. I added two bacon two bacon The bacon was burnt black and broken up in pieces.

Looked like one bacon that, looked more like one bacon than two. The lettuce was the size, one bacon. The lettuce was the size of my two fingers and yes there was a little mayo on my tomato. When I asked about my order the cashier said yes that is what I get because that's what you get bitch you deserve that I she said that's what you get because she was not the one who made the order I showed her the bacon and lettuce and her response was oh good they gave you three bacon not two because it's broken oh you got lucky actually if you turn that in we'll have to take some of that bacon away actually

That's how you didn't know that you got away with one there lady Yeah, as a matter of fact hold on here. Let me pluck that off now. We're keeping hey here Put that with that ranch so that no one can have this Put it in the surplus Yeah surplus bacon. I said that it was burnt her response was that's what I get and she didn't make the order So shit, which is what she said, yep Lauren gives one star Whoever the girl at the window at this very moment

Whoever the girl is at the window at this very moment black with curly weave in her head This is another black girl by the way a black black lady judging by her picture, unless she's not, she just puts a picture of a black woman up there. So she can say black things? Yeah, so she could be like, curly weave bitch. Black with curly weave in her head, customer service is trash and is the reason why I did not want to proceed with my order. Her greeting was horrible.

I don't need to be greeted that much by the way by fast food. I've never even noticed honestly. I've never put that into, I mean if you greet me at all I don't like it. No, hello, I don't know. Great. Can I take your order? There we go, now we're cooking. What do you want is fine with me.

Now we're cooking, I don't care. Yeah, I'm from New York, I don't give a shit. You can go, what do you want already? And I'll go, oh shit, I gotta hurry up, now we're cooking. What do you want is fine with me. Now we're cooking, I don't care. Yeah, I'm from New York, I don't give a shit. You can go, what do you want already? And I'll go, oh shit, I gotta hurry up, this guy's busy. I already know that when I walk up to the counter, they can't do shit without me. I'm the integral piece to this. They're gonna stare at me.

I know that they want the order. Yeah, they want it. This is Sarah blah blah blah. I asked her, hi, how are you doing one moment, please? And when I was ready to order I said yes. Hello and her response was go ahead with with quote yo order That's there you go after I kindly told her that's how she talked to customers I Politely told her I'm okay do better, please. Oh Jesus, you're okay. It's a wet. regulations on the spit that you ate you fucking need it

She pulled away because she didn't like the greeting she got good good Bye go go somewhere that where you pay more money, and then they'll greet you better. That's the thing fast food I expect it to maybe be what I ordered right reasonably warm and in a fucking bag I win yep Maybe be what I ordered, reasonably warm and in a fucking bag. Hopefully edible. I win. Yep, I win if that's what I get. So if I can choke it down, fine. Sean gives one star.

He's got a picture of a long drive-through line in front of him. A lot of cars. Hello, all. Well, hi. You see, he's a good greeter there. Hi, Sean. This Wendy's on City Line Ave is the worst supposed to be fast food restaurant in the whole Philadelphia. In the whole Philadelphia. It's cloudy here today.

Every weekend the lines are very long and the workers are so rude, unprofessional and aggressive when speaking to me. This must get better. Okay, well when you see a whole bunch of people there, you better understand this is gonna be shit because they don't need you. They don't need you and they're throwing shit together as fast as they can to clear this fucking line out. Okay, one star from Knorr. One star disgusting in all capital letters. Not disgusting, degusting. There's no S.

Digusting. Digusting, all caps with two exclamation points. So she really means it. Please don't waste your time and money eating from this location unless you want food poisoning. Well, I certainly don't. Ordered fries from here. How the fuck do you get food poisoning from French fries?

That's one of the safer foods. Yeah, you just got fries? You should be fine. Fries can sit there for three days on the counter, you can eat them, you won't get sick, they're fine. The fries were old, stale, cold and tasted sour. I will never eat it this Wendy's again. Nasty.

The fries do look gross, look at them. Oh, they're not even done. They look undercooked, they look gray somehow. I don't know how fried were they gray not even done. They look undercooked, they look gray somehow. I don't know how fried, never seen gray French fries before. But they look like the only French fries that can make you sick are those. Next up, Laura, one star. We went for a chocolate frosty. They only had peppermint.

What? What's the world coming to when Wendy's doesn't have a chocolate frosty? What's the world coming to when they have a pepper, the gross, vile. That sounds disgusting. I don't want a pepper frosty. Chocolate frosty, but also McDonald's, the machines,

they don't have strawberry shakes half the time. It happens. But I love what's the world coming to. Never mind anything else that's happening. It is the staple. If you ask what does Wendy's have on their menu, top three things people say are a frosty. Bacon, burgers and frosties.

Yeah. Shreds, frosty, yeah. Bacon and frosty, and baked potatoes. Baked potatoes, yeah. They're the only fast food place that really has baked potatoes. So there's that. Tiffany, one star. district or regional management needs

to overhaul the staff. Sweep them out, everybody. Let's do it. Today I had the, and this is all caps T-H-E-E, the worst customer service experience. The young lady at the window was playing around with handing me my food. How the fuck do you do that? Here you go.

No, no, hey, what's that? Not quick enough. Come on. Better get it before it gets cold. Starts taking it out of the bag juggling the burgers. Huh, huh, huh? It's already lost a few degrees. That's right.

I'm playing. She handed me my food and it wasn't in the bag. Well that's just a bag she handed you then. She didn't hand you your food. She handed you a fucking empty bag. Hold it open, about to throw them all into it. The person that took my order and money could not give me a receipt and asked to use my phone

to take a picture of my order for me. Can't buy your phone. To take a picture of your own order for you. For your receipt, it's on your phone now. Is that being a wise ass? Like I'll just take a picture of your own order for you. For your receipt, it's on your phone now. Is that being a wise ass? Like I'll just take a picture of your order, there's your receipt. You need this for a write off? I can take a picture for you.

I think that's what it is. I've gone to this location before but today was the absolute worst. Please do something about the staff. That's all caps, that whole sentence. Just because one customer was rude doesn't mean we're all rude. Don't fight your battles on everybody. Yeah. One star, Evil Eddie gives one star. Oh. Evil Eddie. Lady at the drive-thru, her nerve to have a manager shirt on. Lady at the drive-thru, I guess had the nerve is what she's going for, to have a manager

shirt on. She should be terminated. With leadership like that, I see why this restaurant is rated 2.5 stars. She's an overpriced cashier and not a good one. One star, Jesse, the new peppermint frosty is gross. Yes, it is. Yeah, it sounds gross. It sounds disgusting. Especially when I wanted the chocolate frosty.

It was a different experience. The cashier not only walked away from my husband after waiting on the two people ahead of him, but is obviously too incompetent to see the difference between brown and pink. Oh, so they have both? I ordered the chocolate and got the, and got, they gave him a frosty.

I have one thing, I think if you took about an 80, 20 of 80% chocolate frosty and 20% peppermint, that might be decent. If you just mixed in about 20% of it, just to make like a mint chocolate, that could be okay. You just mix it together, have a mix. For taste-wise, obviously be weird looking, but I think it would probably taste better, okay.

Keith one star, on January 24th, 2023 at 9 PM. This is when someone was murdered before him. I hope that's the beginning of beginning of a Dick Wolf written show. Totally. My girl date line or something. My girl and I was getting takeout through the drive through and as we were getting our food from the second window I heard two girls literally saying I dare you to act like you're throwing up on their food yeah they're playing in the drive-through and we heard a noise that did exactly that I don't know what that was but

that's weird to do I would say one of them had a pink hoodie on and the other had a brown jacket. Anybody in a Wendy's uniform here by any chance at all. Is that the thing? This Wendy's just needs to do better with staff and honestly get them two girls out of their ASAP. Pretending to throw up. Finally, one star. The manager and the drive-through needs to be retrained.

Nasty mouth. Okay. Don't know how to talk to people. Yeah. Walk, this is my favorite line of anything ever. Walk around with shirt from the house. Ha ha ha ha! She's just got a Simpsons shirt on.

She's just got a house shirt on. Ha ha ha ha! Not even a uniform, I just love that, She just got a Simpsons shirt on. She just got a house shirt on. Not even a uniform. I just love that any shirt that's not a uniform shirt's a shirt from the house, which just makes me laugh. I don't know why. That's just funny. Walk around with a shirt from the house.

Yeah, it's because when you're a kid, someone's got, you got a house sandwich or you got a house, you know what I'm saying? My friend couldn't afford a speaker, like a system in his car, so he got a house speaker and put that in his fucking car and did that, and we're like, motherfucker got house speakers. He got a shirt from the house is really fucking funny to me. From the house. Oh my God, lot of things about how the bathrooms are dirty.

Oh, of course, yeah. Urine all over the place. There will be poop, obviously. Yeah, yeah, it's a Wendy's. It's a Wendy's, and people are gonna poop when they're done, I'm sure. Here's the last one I'll do. Mike, one star.

Both women at the drive-through were very rude. Kinda gave me the vibe like they messed with my food. You know, throwing up noises and shit like that. I took the bag and put it directly in the trash. Yeah, Jesus Christ man. And then I'll give one more just because it says bathrooms are disgusting and wouldn't recommend to a dog. You know a dog who knows how to use the bathroom. I wouldn't recommend any bathroom to a dog because they look at it and go I don't know what to do with this at all and they drink out of the toilet. That's what would happen. My dog would piss on the trash can and walk out Yeah, and then drink the toilet water and leave

That said okay everybody. Let's we've been out in the world. We've done a lot of shit here. We've got cheering up Yeah, we've been told that's enough bacon for you We've been sold a gun we're not allowed to have. We've had a terrible night at the comedy club, obviously. Been thrown out just for talking during the comedy show. Weird. And talking about the jokes. I think it's time everybody, let's get personal

with our personal item of the week. Oh baby, let's do it. This is the Clone-A clone a Willy. What? Clone a Willy silicone penis casting kit. Oh my god. For DIY dildos. You get it at home. You do it. You mold your own dick into a make your own homemade dildo. That's one way to embarrass yourself. You think it's big until you see it off of you. This is how fucking great men are. We think that you just can't wait as ladies to take our dick home with you. You need it that our dick's that great.

And all the reviews are like this too. It's hilarious. They're like, you know, I figured my wife needs something. Yeah, because she could never find a dildo out there that would satisfy her. Only your dick could do it. There's not a whole wall of them at every shop. No, it's $33.12 for this. That's pretty cheap. That's cheaper than I thought, honestly. And it says mix, hold, pour, reveal. So this works.

God, this is so embarrassing. This silicone mold making kit was developed to create high-quality realistic vibrating dong replica Vibrating yeah, there's a vibrating thing You can stick in the middle of it make it vibrate there that you can make easily in the comfort of your own home an Exact copy of your favorite member your favorite Your favorite one you've seen on TV maybe. You know, just a friend of yours. Send it to Brad Pitt. Yeah, please. Our medically tested molds capture incredibly lifelike detail, making it the most personalized DIY dick casting kit on the planet. I can't believe this. It's a mighty bold statement friend.

The whole planet? This is unbelievable. The hubris, the absolute gall of men. Of guys. This is what, when do you hear the reviews? This is what I mean. It's wild. Sean, five stars, not just a novelty. No? No, no. I read through some of the reviews and I find them hilarious. Well, so do we and that's why we do the show People claiming they followed the instructions to the letter then describing doing something that was not in the instructions. Oh Yeah, I didn't read the instructions thoroughly the first time and messed up on the mold you did the same thing Couldn't wait to jam my dick in the mall Just ah, we just that's how guy we just our dick is hard We want to jam it in something cuz you have to get hard to do this in the mall. Just, ah, we just, that's how guys, we just,

our dick is hard and we wanna jam it in something. You have to get hard to do this, by the way, that's part of it, obviously. Yeah, don't pull it out. No one wants a limp dick dildo. I ordered a second one and followed them exactly and it turned out perfect. And he has a picture of him holding his own dick cat,

which is fucking weird. That I don't like. Here's my penis everybody. This feels like assault. I'm on Amazon and you're showing, I gotta see this guy's dick. I had the mix for the first attempt still and was able to use it to make a second copy of it.

Oh, to make a second copy of your first copy. Of the copy, copy of a copy? Copy of a copy. I did not like the vibrator as it was hard to keep centered so the second one left the vibrator out. I thought this would be more of a novelty than anything else and I had fun making it. Okay so I wanted stuff all over my dick. I was shocked at the amount of detail that the final product has.

While some user error prevented it from being an exact replica, it's pretty damn close. Did he fuck himself with his own dick? I think he's fucking himself with his own dick, which is the biggest, that's the definition of hubris. That is, holy Christ. Only my dick can satisfy me. How much do you love yourself? Wow.

The ego. I placed it side by side with my own and it's almost an exact copy. You need it to look down, you don't know what your dick looks like? It should be identical, man. You shouldn't have to copy you needed to look down. You don't know what your dick looks like it should be identical Well, you shouldn't have to put it next to your dick you can pick your dick out of a lineup, but yes You'd be able to by now. I think you know your dick. I was able to do it myself I don't have a big penis by any means so I didn't have issues

Okay Yeah, a few key points read the instructions pump. Pump them if you got them. What? Okay. I don't know what that means. Try to make it as big as you can? I guess swell it up. Yeah, get swole up if you need to. Be prepared for a mess. It's very easy to clean up. Do it over a flat surface like a tile floor or a plastic sheet like you're Dexter murdering a person. Jesus. You don't need to be soft to remove it.

The mold will be firm but soft. If you are using the vibrator, do not fill up to the top. The vibrator will displace some of the silicone. This was my mistake in the first mold. Mine came out about a half inch shorter than real, but I chalked that up to some softening sitting in the molding phase. Have fun with it. It's supposed to be messy and silly don't take it too seriously. Oh This is gonna be my fucking business actually

Okay around Like going to as you wish and making a pot That's all like it's like going to make the fucking bears there. Yeah Build a bear build a bear Five five stars Pizza Hut Pizza Hut I don't know how the word Pizza Hut gets in this title this review Pizza Hut cock blocked my Willy cloning dot dot dot question mark somebody knocked on the door in the middle of it

I think so You shouldn't order pizza man. There you go. Yeah when you're making a dick mold, you know what? I ordered this pizza. I think I have just enough time to make a dick mold before it gets here. I decided the best way to give my girlfriend a going away present was to send her off with a way to get off without me. Like she could never find a dick. For some reason she finds my Willie amazing. find a dick. For some reason she finds my Willy amazing. So I purchased this product for Valentine's Day and she loved it. Very romantic sir, very romantic. Everything was going good according to plan until it came time to insert my

member into the tube for the molding. That seems like a big part of it. That's everything. You took it out of the box. Yeah. A pizza delivery guy mistakenly showed up and rang the doorbell while we were downstairs. Oh, he didn't even order it. No, my girlfriend started freaking out because she was half naked in an attempt to keep me hard throughout the process. She's like juggling her tits and showing her ass and shit. You don't have to answer the door.

Fuck off. You're too illegally bound. Go fuck yourself. didn't order anything. Wrong door, dummy! Yeah, that's it. Holy shit, I ran to the door naked and holding the molding tube in my hand. Why? In a frantic attempt to explain to the pizza delivery guy that he was at the wrong house,

I accidentally pointed at my neighbor's house with the molding tube. This poor bastard. You should have tipped this guy. You shouldn't have opened the door. You idiot. And if you did, you should have had a 20 in your hand for this poor bastard. I quickly realized my mistake, slammed the door in his face and returned to my crying

girlfriend on the couch to find out that the molding had set before my manhood could be cloned. Not your manhood. Some might think this would lead to a bad review, but it showed that the mold takes no time at all to set. This really takes the pressure off the guy because he doesn't have to keep his quote flag flying at full staff for as long as one might think. My girlfriend and I were able to laugh this off and order a new kit.

This will surely go down as a Valentine's Day to remember." And order Pizza Hut because that same pizza delivery driver showing up to your door. Hey, remember that one time? He runs up with a dick mold. He's going to have a story at the Pizza Hut later. That's terrific. John gives three stars. I'm sure it works is what he says here. That's his title. I'm sure this product probably works fine if you're glued to the instructions.

You know, if you follow them and all. You do what it says. I'm sure this Ikea desk goes together if I followed the instructions, but I didn't. So three stars to them? You didn't follow the- Yeah, I built it on my own and now I have abstract art in the corner.

Weird. Jesus. You have to be fast with that molding powder. I have failed and now I have to order another bag. I was really excited to try this product, but now sadly all I have is a dirty kitchen, a dusty dick and nothing else to show for it. Which is my country music stage name. Dusty Dick Petragallo, you didn't know that? That is a country song right there.

All I have is a dusty dick, a dirty kitchen, and nothing else to show for it. A dusty dick, a dirty dirty kitchen and no chick. And no chick. Dirty, dirty, dusty dick. Dean gives two stars. If you have a curved penis, plastic tube, not much use. Yeah, sorry about it, man.

I don't know what to tell you. Perone's disease. I don't know how to deal with that. Seems like that's something that this should be the least of your problems with a curved dick. Yes, I can see if you have a curved penis, you have to cut the plastic tubing. Looks very difficult to do.

My suggestion is if you buy this kit, go to hardware store and buy a flexible tube. Will be easier. There's no punctuation here, by the way. Also if the tube came with larger in diameter penis wouldn't touch sides when molding it. Okay. Okay. Oh my goodness. Jesus Christ. That is really tough here. Okay. Here we go. Benjamin, believe the reviews. One star. This item is worthless.

Okay. Here we go. He's got a breakdown of the time into seconds, which is awesome. What he did? Yeah. Yeah. The moment I saw this item, I knew I had to jump at the chance. When it came in the mail, I was ready to surprise my wife with a new toy, or so I thought. I read the previous reviews to make sure I wasn't wasting my money. Call it arrogance. Yeah, this is all arrogance. 100%. It's a whole product.

But I do work in customer service and consider myself smarter than the average Joe. Of course you are. I thought, but you thought this was a good idea. I thought for sure those who wrote the bad reviews may have overlooked a detail or were simply in a hurry. Boy was I wrong. I poured over every single detail in the instructions. I read, reread, practiced timing scenarios, practiced.

He did practice runs, stress rehearsals. He did a dry run. Everything. It was all going well until I had to mix the molding powder with the water in the small bowl. You literally have a 60 second time window in which to combine 98 degree water with molding powder. I was aware of this so I prepared to spring into action.

Right when the powder hit the water, it started clumping and hardening within 30 seconds. The mix is designed, the mix as designed is supposed to be lumpy like pancake batter. You just put your dick in there. So I'm stirring madly trying to coerce the powder and water to mix to the right consistency. This is where it starts to fall apart.

Let me break it down for you. Zero to nine seconds. Molding powder hits the water. Ten to 19 seconds. Stirring powder mixing. 20 to 29 seconds. Mix begins to clump in certain areas. 30 to 39 seconds. Stirring intensifies to even out the mix.

This is not working in parentheses. 40 to 49 seconds, I realize the mix is not only clumping but starting to harden, activate panic mode. Jam my dick in it. Oh, jam it in there. 50 to 59 seconds, I pour my half water, half lump mix into an oil funnel to prevent a huge mess. Molding hardens an oil funnel. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, 60 seconds to one minute 19

seconds. Quick plan B pour remaining non hardening non hardened mix into tube mix in tube begins to solidify fuck three x four exclamation points one minute 20 to one minute 30. Still in denial. I sh... I can still... and he said, I shove my willy into the tubing, which was measured and pre-cut, mind you. No good. Mix is already hardening. So basically I'm using my willy as a stir stick on something that looks and feels like giant hardened cottage cheese curds. I wish there was video of this.

All of these people, I want to see the video of this. This guy. A naked man half-hard. With shit all over his cabinets and all over the counter, all over the floor, naked in his thing, half-hard trying to ram his dick into a tube of fucking mushy shit. I got a question for him though. Where in the instructions did it say oil funnel? It didn't motherfucker.

It just said pour in the tube. Did you see that part? You fucked up. You gotta make a mess. That's part of it. One minute 30 to one minute 40. Pantsless in kitchen, taking in aftershock of what just happened. Shame watch.

One forty to two minutes, silence. Still in shock and disbelief. After 10 minutes, finish cleaning up disaster area from previous event. There you go. That's what it is. $30 in the trash. In the trash. $33.

This guy, little more succinct, one star. This kit sucks. So I got this kit excited that I will be able to make something nice for my girlfriend. What? No! Learn how to make a spice rack or like an armoire or something. Something that she can use or you can use. Buy a paint by numbers that covers up all the lines and stuff and make it look like

you're an artist, you dumb fuck. Holy shit, man. Yeah, try that. All right, I'm not going gonna read the rest of this because it's kind of the same as the last one. Yeah. One one star it does not work. My wife and I followed the instructions very meticulously however the mixture got immediately solid in large clumps as soon as I poured it in the container. I still tried to push my way in unsuccessfully. Do not purchase. Couldn couldn't even get in. Couldn't get it in like the last guy. Oh this guy, Jesus Christ man. One star, not enough power mixture. I

think he means powder. This was an absolute joke. Canadian. My man woke up rock hard and pushing almost nine inches of solid steel. Upon mixing and pouring into the plastic it didn't even fit to the top. Now my dreams of having a mold of my man's perfect dick are not going to happen. It's all their fault. Do you know how long and hard it is to find a man with over 8 inches that's actually a good human being? Oh god. I mean it's gotta be a struggle. Well now if he ever leaves me, not sure what to do or where to go.

I don't know. If he ever leaves me. How about one of the plenty of over 8 inch dildos that are out there that we've talked about. Why don't you reciprocate and be a good human too and then he won't leave. He's like make a mold of his dick then I can treat him any way I want doesn't matter after that he can fuck off I Would say we need clonoline a clonoline XL edition the molding mix didn't even come halfway up to the top of the container I Cut off an inch off the plastic what a letdown

I think this is the rest is dick like it'll fill when he puts all of it in there I think this is for teens that have not yet hit puberty. So anybody under nine inches of cock, you haven't hit puberty yet. You fucking... And you're not allowed to use this. Losers. Yeah. The last one here, I will do...

Where is it? Oh, yeah. We'll do this. We'll do this. One star. Ouch and yuck. Oh, okay. It was hot. Would you boil star ouch and yuck

Would you boil it now should you first of all the product was extremely hard to use which is almost a waste on its Own the real problem is I have the real problem I have is the material is way too hard the finished product absolutely shredded me. Oh What in other words when he stuck it in him or she stuck it in her or something, I was going to have to visit the hospital over this. I kept the toy anyway because I hated the idea of throwing away the money I spent. It tears up your insides. Throw it out. What are you talking about?

Why would you use that? It's the same thing, right? This food is poison, but I bought it, so I'm going to finish it. The chicken has gone bad. Wow. And the sentimental value of a replica of an important person to me. Big mistake, after a week it got a few black spots which got bigger.

This product will grow mold. That's mold on your penis. Yeah. That is fucking mold on your dick there. So there you go, we will stop there. Wow. A lot of people said about air bubbles and a lot of people like my girlfriend doesn't live near me so I got to send her this like

yeah okay you have a new I'm amazing. I'm getting catfish so I'm going to send this guy my dick. That said there you go everybody have fun at your comedy clubs and you know watch your Wendy's order don't let anyone throw up in your bag. You're going to fuck two in them. Explore all the dark corners of every gun shop near you and of course make a nice clone of your dick for that very special person out there. Also follow on social media and of course as well listen to our other two shows, Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder, which are true crime comedy shows that we think you'll love.

So check all those out. Keep coming back week after week. And until that next week, thanks so much everybody. Have a good one. Bye. Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. to the world.