Your Stupid Opinions - Victoria's Vendetta, Mosquito Beach, Like A Virgin

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

This week, more crazy reviews! A piano bar in England, where they can't wait to throw you out, without your coat. A beach that charges you to trudge through the mud, just to get to the sand c...rabs & mosquitos. A very personal item that will allow you to restore your virginity. A highway rest stop that is only slightly better than peeing in a bottle & much more!!Join comedians James Pietragallo and Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!Subscribe and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!!!Don't forget to rate & review!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondery plus subscribers can listen to your stupid opinions ad free right now join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts Welcome back to your stupid Opinions everybody. My name is James Petricalho. Here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wisman. Thank you so much for joining us on another Insane Edition of Other People's Opinions that you didn't ask for and didn't want to hear. But then again, here they are coming right out of your head.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Welcome to Star Maker. That's what it is. Tuan, you're off there. Yeah. We've made Tuan a star. Tuan from the're off there. Yeah. We've made Tuan a star. Tuan from the Oakland grocery store.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Tuan is a very popular man this week. Yeah, he's making suggestions now. He thinks he's that much of a star. He's like, I'm going to go do their podcast with them. No, you're not, Tuan. No, you're not, Tuan. Paper, plastic, whatever. Just bag the groceries.
Starting point is 00:01:02 We are going to laugh hilariously, and we will check in back with Tuan down the road another six, eight months to see if maybe more people have some things to say about Tuan. But yeah, I don't know if we're gonna make- He's playing semi-pro, did you know that? I did not. I didn't know if we're gonna make Tuan a member of the team or not, but semi-pro what?
Starting point is 00:01:19 Football, he's a great football player. Football, it's like, what's he playing? Semi-pro what? Yeah, or college? I don't know. He's trying to go pro. That's all I know. Oh, good for Twan.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I mean. He's fast and he's got a great tackle on him. And you know for a fact that he's got the right attitude for football. Yes, he does. He absolutely does. I think Twan's going to get along just fine in this one. He's got a special go fuck yourself. You've got a little Genesee Kwa, we'll say, of something for Twan.
Starting point is 00:01:41 So that said, let's go somewhere here. We are going to go, we have the English piano bar that we promised last week that we will not let you down on. That is definitely happening. But before we get to that, let's head on down to the beach because it's getting cold. It's getting cold. I got home from the road. Perfect beach time.
Starting point is 00:01:59 I got home from the road, got to New York and it snowed. And I was like, holy shit, it's getting cold. So let's find out what's going on at the beach let's go somewhere warmer in our minds let's go down to Tiger Tail Beach Marco Island Florida well west coast of Florida Gulfside southern Florida it's got the gray side yep exactly the dull side it's got 4.3 stars out of 2100 reviews, a lot of reviews of this place. Tiger Tail? Tiger Tail Beach. And a lot of the complaints are very much the same. Even the 5 star reviews
Starting point is 00:02:34 have some negativity to them. It seems like this is a trash beach is what it seems like. So let's get right into this with Zolia or Zola 5 stars. Beautiful and peaceful place. That's nice. I love the white sand and the feeling just looking at the nature shells. Please do not take live shells. It's against the law. Little fishes and birds, depending on the tide, you can walk through the pond,
Starting point is 00:03:00 true the pond, true the pond motherfucker and get to shore. Mud, yes, but it's worth it. What? Okay. There's a lot of people. There's a muddy beach. Apparently this beach, by the way, you park and it's like a mile and a half away from the beach is where the parking is.
Starting point is 00:03:17 And then you have to walk through very much mud to get to the beach. That's the thing. Tons of mud, and then you get to the white sand. There's people reviewing saying there's like three inches deep of mud you have to trudge through to get to the beach. That's the thing. Tons of mud and then you get to the white sand. There's people reviewing saying there's like three inches deep of mud you have to trudge through to get there. And like if you have disabilities or children or elderly
Starting point is 00:03:32 or basically unless you're like 30 years old and at the peak of your physical conditioning, don't go to this beach cause you'll be fucking in a lot of shit. So. No wheelchair ramps, huh? Oh God, no. Fuck no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:44 We'll mud ramps. Oh god. No fuck. No. Yeah, we'll mud ramps Next up five stars again I would rather rate it one star for selfish reasons if I could give it one star I would but for selfish reasons not because it deserves it so we haven't heard that one yet Yeah, it's absolutely a jewel of the southwest and I would like it to remain in the same condition She doesn't want to give a good review because then people might come here and ruin it. Oh, okay. That's the thing. Now about the place.
Starting point is 00:04:08 It's amazing. Fine sand, plenty of space, no crowds and shallow coastline. Perfect for a day trip with the kids. The only advice, don't be like me, bring beach trolley. The tail part is quite a walk. Also there's only one shower so plan accordingly. What does that mean? Bring your shower? I don't know how you would plan for that. Don't go in the water. Yeah, give yourself, I guess allot yourself some time when leaving to clean off.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Yeah, I don't know. Plan accordingly. Plan accordingly that you can't plan. Bring your own ocean. Lisa, four stars, can be a long walk to water. Beautiful beach, lots of sand crabs. That's people are both happy and upset about that in different reviews. Avoid after sunset due to bugs. Apparently when the sun sets here, the mosquitoes come not in a little, but they come in hordes that will chase you off the beach. Like one of those clouds of bees in a cartoon that will chase you off the beach. Like one of those clouds of bees in a cartoon that would chase people and make shapes and shit.
Starting point is 00:05:10 That's what it's like, apparently, from what I'm gathering here. When the sun goes down in Florida, there is Kenny Chesney, Uncle Cracker, and hordes of mosquitoes. Hordes of mosquitoes. One star from Katia. The worst beach I've seen in my life Ever ever no showers no changing cabins restrooms are out of order well Yeah, that's just people gonna be shitting on the beach. You can't have that
Starting point is 00:05:34 That's not good of restrooms And you have to walk point five miles to the beach from the parking lot by send not by sand by send There is no wooden walkways, nothing. No dumpsters at the beach, no nothing. Well it sounds like this is one of those. They have nothing, I don't wanna hear it, nothing. It's raw nature. If they put all that shit in, they gotta charge you.
Starting point is 00:05:58 You don't get to go for free anymore. They do charge you by the way. It's like eight dollars to park. Yeah, you have to pay to park. If you don't pay, they don't let you in that's outrageous that's outrageous yeah you have to walk point five miles back to the parking lot to find a restroom it's not a beach it's a nightmare no cafe no shade no restrooms what did we pay ten dollars for I really don't understand to leave your car legally
Starting point is 00:06:27 That's all it is yeah into shit in the sand like a cat cover up. That's crazy. Yeah, did you cover your poop at least? I can't imagine I can't imagine paying to walk through mud and sand for a half a mile Yeah, half a mile is a good distance, And there's nowhere to rinse that shit off? Nope, not happening. That's not okay. Tracy one star, what am I missing? Is the first sentence I like to, why am I here?
Starting point is 00:06:53 It's just, I'm just confused about the whole situation. I paid and now I'm looking around going, what was that for? What was this for? Not a typical quote beach. Crab literally everywhere. Crab everywhere. Crab everywhere. Sand was dirty, slimy and gray. That's what you wanted. Oh no. quote beach crab literally everywhere crab everywhere crab everywhere sand was
Starting point is 00:07:06 dirty slimy and gray that's what you are no beautiful slimy dirty gray said I always hear about the lovely vacations down like the Caribbean with the gray sand beaches that's why me sandy beach parking was $10 cash not accepted huh oh you got to do it via some app or something? Jesus. And we made the long walk to this place, turned around, made the long walk back to the car and left. If I could give negative stars, I would.
Starting point is 00:07:35 That's right. You certainly would. Not happy Tracy at all here. Next up, pre one star. Attempted to enjoy this beach I tried attempted to but when my husband who is of native origin Okay, and I pulled up to the entrance after seeing several cars go in ahead of us We were told to turn our car around and leave with no explanation
Starting point is 00:08:07 It's probably full. He called my called my boyfriend Tonto and kicked us out. He went, oh fuck off. Yeah. Florida's states that way. Hold on a minute. Let me say it in a way you understand. You got it now? The fuck out of our beach. Is that what happened? Did he greet you by saying how? Jesus Christ. So we left. Did he ask you for wampum? Say back to your wigwam with you? Yeah. So we left and never came back. Unfortunately, it seems not all people are welcome here. And it's sad. I'm sure it had nothing to do with that. I can't imagine. Do they look at me and go, who is, is anybody not, you know what I mean, discriminating against natives like that? Has that been a thing? To look at them and say, no, not you.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Not you? I've never, I've never heard of that before, but it is Florida, who the fuck knows? I don't know. I've never heard of no pow wow. Never. This is Florida, it could be anything. Fuck out of here with your casinos
Starting point is 00:09:04 and they kick them out. I don't know, who knows? No poker here, sir. No, we don't have a blackjack tent for you, sir. We were disappointed to have to leave after driving an hour to get there as it was recommended by a Florida local who clearly wasn't a native.
Starting point is 00:09:19 An hour away, yeah. Jen one star. So after a couple of miles of hiking to the beach, after a couple of miles, we felt ripped off. Yeah, I'm not paying to park nowhere near the ship. I'm not paying for a four mile walk. That's each way. Paying is for, I park and walk right there.
Starting point is 00:09:39 That's the pay spot. Yeah, paying is convenient. Two miles is where you park for free and then walk there because you're cheap. We felt ripped off. The sand is so hard and compact. There is a gross odor that smells like rotting trash. That's just Florida, I'm sorry. Yeah, welcome.
Starting point is 00:09:55 You didn't understand. And there are a plethora of people who are classless, who look like they belong on the cartoon King of the Hill. There you go. Again. What did you expect? Where did I stand there drinking beer you weren't going to the south of France? Where are you? No, you're not going to con You're not going to fucking Portugal or Lisbon or some shit. You are going to Florida Yeah, sit on a community couch. So that's what happened drink and just say, yep. Yep, that's how it goes there.
Starting point is 00:10:26 You talk about maybe who won the race today. What an overrated piece of land. Yuck, I want my $10 back. Total cesspool. Paradise coast? Yeah, right. Paradise lost. Lost.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Maybe for people who haven't seen a real ocean or beach before. What does that mean? You're fucking from Iowa you come here. Yeah fuck off other way speeches of Iowa your bullshit lake beaches One star here zero star if I could Okay, there we go after walk trying you gotta do it after walking almost one mile on sand. I almost have a heart attack Yeah, I am 52 years old. Ridiculous. No one warn you on these reviews. Ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:11:10 No one warn you. No one warn you except for every fucking one, man. All the reviews. Never, never, never again. On top of the long walking, no restrooms or at least food kiosk. They need to... I gotta piss, I'm hungry. It's the long walk. I walked all the way here, made me very hungry,
Starting point is 00:11:30 and I have to pee now. So this is, you have nothing that can help me here. They... I mean, there is an ocean, go piss in that. And then in all capital letters, this seems to be the biggest thing, they need to build a crosswalk. Oh.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Adding two pictures front and back, and there is more to walk. So sad being so famous and don't take advantage of the beach. Almost forgot to bring water shoes. Well that is not their fault that you almost forgot to bring water shoes. You don't have to add that. Who's famous?
Starting point is 00:11:59 You or the beach? Because I've never heard of this shit. I don't know, I don't recognize her either. So I'm gonna say neither probably this person's very confused Danielle one star I rate this beach the worst beach I've ever been to the worst the worst It was ugly an ugly beach had a boring unhappy vibe. The sand was wet So when you put your towel down, you could not be dry The sand was wet, so when you put your towel down, you could not be dry.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Well, it's near the ocean is the problem with that. It's near the Gulf. There's a lot of water there. But I'll bet there's a high and low tide, too. And it probably was low when they were there. I don't know what time of day that is. But yeah, the waves were up there. That's why it's wet.
Starting point is 00:12:40 There was water there. That's how beaches work. I don't know if you've noticed. You can go farther away from it, and there won't be wetness there when you pick your towel up It was soggy and smelt like rotten eggs smelt. Oh like rotten eggs Also, the ground was disgusting. There were bugs everywhere to save the $8 parking fee My daughter and I stayed for 10 minutes and left Hmm, man and I stayed for 10 minutes and left. Man, Cassandra one star, the walk from parking to the actual water was long, tedious and
Starting point is 00:13:09 not easy with kids. Yeah, this is like a death march to the water here. It's uneven ground too. Man, then upon returning to my vehicle I experienced something I have never in all my life seen. What? Thousands of mosquitoes all over my van, in the air, et cetera, to the point where we were running around smacking each other, getting eaten alive.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Get in the fucking van, stupid, stop running around. The mosquitoes got into our van by the hundreds. Oh no, they opened the door and they poured in. Drive fast with the windows down. Nothing else you can do. I have never seen so many it was a horrible nightmare My whole family was covered in bites from head to toe never again will I come here let alone pay to go Yeah, that's crazy. That's paid for the pleasure not doing that Natalie one star. I love this no offense to who
Starting point is 00:14:04 No offense, To who? No offense, but it's literally the worst beach I've ever been to when I grew up going to the Jersey Shore. I think that says it all. I've been to the Jersey Shore, and if you've been to go to another beach and go, oh God, this is worse than the Jersey Shore, it's fucking bad. No offense, though, obviously.
Starting point is 00:14:22 No offense, but sewers and toxic sludge is better than this. It's much better, much preferable. That said, okay, so we've been in about the most American place you can be in Florida down there. That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard about, a beach. It sounds terrible, gross and muddy and mosquitoes and no bathrooms. It sounds terrible. So let's go somewhere where it's supposed to be classier.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Okay, let's hop the pond here and head over to jolly old England. Uh-huh, what do they got? To a not so jolly piano bar. Let's do this. This is the Piano Works in Farringdon. Farringdon, F-A-R-R-I-N-G-D-O-N, Farringdon. I guess it's in London.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Okay, Farringdon Road in London here. Opens at five o'clock. This place has 4.1 stars out of 3,400 reviews. A piano bar starts at 5 p.m., huh? 5 p.m., yeah, it's a bar, so. I'm interested. Yeah, you gotta have a dark vibe in there, I would think. I suppose, yeah, you don't open at noon.
Starting point is 00:15:24 No. We don't day drink around here. Be like a comedy club in the daylight. Yeah otherwise. I suppose yeah you don't open at noon. No. We don't day drink around here. Be like a comedy club in the daylight. Yeah I suppose. It's weird, creepy and dirty and gross in there. This is a bar, restaurant and Victorian warehouse venue where pianists perform audience requested playlists live. Yeah it's annoying.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So it's a piano bar. Yeah. It's incredibly annoying. It's a piano bar and you get to hear fucking Billy Joel songs all night long over and over again. Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah. It's a piano bar and you get to hear fucking Billy Joel songs all night long. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, it's everything you've ever heard Over and over so Paul gives five stars. Wow. This is first. This is Wow best thing he's ever seen fantastic idea Really? Well executed great staff
Starting point is 00:16:00 Superb right this superb for six months ago Wow super great idea great idea never never been done with fantastic idea piano bar who would have thought Superb. When did he write this? Superb. Six months ago. What? Great idea. Great idea. Never been done with fantastic idea. Piano bar? Who would have thought? Not like we've been doing this for a hundred fucking years literally. How did you never hear about this? I don't know. In England though maybe that's not a popular thing.
Starting point is 00:16:18 It's got to. I mean, how can John's from there? There's gotta be piano bars. I don't know if pianos and boos and like, well, I don't know if that's, I don't know. I have no idea, that's what I mean. I'm trying to figure it out. It's just gonna be, it has to exist.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Great staff, superb prices, especially during happy hour. I didn't eat, but the food I saw being served looked excellent, okay, well, and you don't need to include that, because. Don't say it. No, all staff, very friendly, looked happy, and some really good singers. It's like a live jukebox It's Elijah. Yes. That's the whole theory of the fucking place love the idea highly recommended and so that's that's good
Starting point is 00:16:55 Gabrielle five stars we came for bottomless brunch to celebrate my birthday and had such a fun time Our waiter Fabio was absolutely amazing, really attentive service and made the experience extremely pleasant. His hair was also wonderful. Is that what he's doing now? The food was good and music was really fun. It's quite loud in the venue, but we didn't mind this. It's because there's live music being played. That's what you expect. You would expect that. Here we go. Now we have Nighthawk with one star. I wouldn't bother with this place and I can tell you why dot dot dot
Starting point is 00:17:32 Well, that's what we're here for. That's what we're here for my friend. Seven guys on a stag do That's a bachelor party by the way in case you're is that stag party is a bachelor party. Yeah I think I sure was a stag party is a bachelor party. Yeah Two in their 60s three in mid-30s school friends one living in Australia and the other two living on each end of the country We this is completely unnecessary. I don't I don't need a line You don't need this is a he's got like he's writing a fucking our town update and he's gonna is ridiculous. I don't need the whole cast of characters here. And a younger brother who's 23 and a guy who doesn't drink. So, this is really the Ocean's Eleven squad here.
Starting point is 00:18:12 There's old guys, young guys, non-drinkers, this is ridiculous. There's a safe cracker and a drill guy, a driveway driver. We were out celebrating for many reasons and haven't been with each other for at least two years because why would this disparate group come together ever? Hey, look, it's our friends who are old and our buddy who's young and this is a great outing. What is happening? nothing in common
Starting point is 00:18:35 We we've been with each other for at least two years So we were looking for fun good times and a night to remember to make memories as well as a night to remember But for the well it was a night to remember but for the wrong reasons what happened after paying for two cabs from Liverpool street station to get to this place after paying booking in advance we kind of planned our evening around this place okay the cab shit's not their fault they don't know where you're coming from so that's ridiculous we arrived as soon as we got there okay Okay. We know, you sure did. I had to stop on that one, was that me? I mean, arrive, is that British for finishing?
Starting point is 00:19:11 Pull up in front, I don't know, maybe then they went right in. And the bouncer and manager refused to let us in. The reason was because the younger one was apparently too drunk, pointing him out considering he only had one pint before before we thought he was joking. That one's too drunk. Ha ha ha. Bouncers are always joking about that. Yeah. No, they're not. So this is to prove he weren't. We made him do the alphabet backwards, which he successfully did in front of everyone,
Starting point is 00:19:41 which personally I thought was impressive thing to do. I'm impressed. We're doing fields of variety tests out around the bar to get in. And random ones too, just like, hey, show them what you can do. Hey, show them what you got here. You pick, finger to nose, heel toe, you pick.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Fuck it, we all high five him for doing so, but this clearly upset the manager even more for proving him wrong that he weren't drunk. How dare you fucking make me look bad. Now you've pissed him off. Still refusing, we asked for our deposit back, which was refused and really frustrating. Not only did that ruin the atmosphere, but it ruined the whole night.
Starting point is 00:20:23 The youngest one was almost in tears. There's no reason for a 23 year old man to be in tears over this. Everybody, we gotta fucking toughen up a little bit. There's no tears. And in the alphabet backward, why not? Did they also beat up your mother? No. So calm the fuck down. He's crying. Almost in tears because he thought he ruined the stag which we told him not to worry about it Definitely changed the atmosphere considering there were no hard feelings toward him
Starting point is 00:20:53 Okay, anyways, it's not doing much for for saying you're not drunk. If not getting in it makes you cry. Yeah Tears are like the next best thing. There's laughter and then quickly behind that is tears when someone's drunk. So very quick bringing up the rear. Anyways, I would avoid this place if you can otherwise your night will be ruined. Thank you for giving us. Thanks for giving us negative memories. And if I could give you minus, I would, I would, I would. There's a lot of that going on here. Taylor one star, I love this. Food was okay, but the pianist was rude. That's their job.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Yeah, he's just being rude, singing fucking songs that nobody requested. They're just singing Randy Newman shit over and over again. Like, I don't wanna hear this anymore. Singing two shorts, blow job Betty, and putting my mother's name in it was not cool. It's ridiculous, yeah. he asked where her name was I thought she was gonna. He's gonna sing a nice song next thing you know
Starting point is 00:21:50 Is what we got? blowjob netty He kept saying he had played our songs three hours in and he only had played one He also said at one point. Nope. We had too many from table six No, fuck you. Table six paid more. This was an hour in and we had one song and it was half empty. At another point he said, not another one from table six.
Starting point is 00:22:15 He doesn't want to hear your shit. He doesn't like your musical selections either. Is table six full of women with large chests? That's why. No, no, no. That's what's happening. No, no, no. He's saying I'm not taking another request from table six. You guys keep sending me requests and I'm done with you guys.
Starting point is 00:22:29 I want it from other people. I thought he was saying table six put a lot in and he didn't have time to play this guy's shit. No, he said not another one from you. Fuck off. Oh, got it. Table six, you're 86'd. That's it.
Starting point is 00:22:43 We came for my sister's birthday and it was a shame to not have any of her songs played I'm really disappointed. Yeah, this is you pissed off a table of ladies who wanted you to play Songs you don't play all night. Yeah, sorry sorry for bringing Taylor Swift to the party. That's right. He didn't he's like I don't know that that's what that's what he says when he doesn't know a song is no more from that table I don't know that one. I don't know that sorry Noah song is no more from that table. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. Sorry. Charlotte one star. The manager Victoria was an appalling manager and spent the night with a vendetta against us. Oh boy. This is going to be good. We arrived at 5pm and bought several rounds of drinks. We sat on a table that was reserved from 9 p.m. and we're told this was fine, but we would have to,
Starting point is 00:23:25 but would have to move at 2045, 1045. Obviously this is fine, but at 1940 we were asked to- 2045 is 845. Oh yeah, that's 845, yeah, okay. Then at 1940, so 740, they were asked to move as the party had arrived. This is a long time before their booking, so we asked if we could stay, or if there's an alternate table we could sit at. The manager was very
Starting point is 00:23:48 rude and was not listening at all. We had tried to book a table over a month ago but we were told that you could not book a table for less than 15 people so we didn't. Jesus, that's a big table. You gotta have 15? That doesn't seem seem right the booking arrived and there were only two people Victoria's vendetta then continued. Oh boy Victoria's vendetta that's gonna be a very good part of this That's definitely part of this title Victoria's Holy shit. No, that's a great name for a bar. It's like Bridget's last laugh in Phoenix, the same type of thing. Victoria's Vendetta.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Then continued when I tried to put mine and my friend's coats in the cloakroom. She saw me there and came over. She separated my coat and my cardigan and made me pay for two items. Oh shit. That's wild. She then made me take a picture because I was so quote so drunk I was going to lose the card what card we talking about? Oh the card the card the receipt the receipt for the Check check receipt. Yeah coat check receipt Let's see. I was going to lose the card at this point I'm not even sure why she thought this was necessary because I wasn't drunk
Starting point is 00:25:03 was going to lose the card. At this point, I'm not even sure why she thought this was necessary because I wasn't drunk. You said you bought several rounds of drinks. You probably tipsy. You probably certainly so you're not sober. Now Victoria spent the night trying to follow us around. And when me and my friend went to the toilet together, there were two ladies aggressively banging on the door to the cubicle. Oh my God. One of their friends is probably crying in there or something. That's what, they're just trying to help. Victoria's stalking these people.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Jesus. When I was finished, to no surprise, Victoria was there with a female member of security. No shitting in here. Get out. Victoria accused us of taking drugs. Oh. Which is aberrant considering I've never taken anything and had done nothing to suggest
Starting point is 00:25:48 that this was the case. When I asked why we were being targeted, Victoria then used her position of power to call the security to remove us. Wow. She was clearly just power hungry and wanted to use her little earpiece to show off her position. Do you know Victoria from a previous, I feel like you were mean to Victoria in the 10th grade and you don't remember her, but she fucking sure shit remembers
Starting point is 00:26:11 you bitches. I feel like that's it. She is jacked about putting her hand to that earpiece and telling you to get lost. She's like, Oh, finally these bitches, I, they're in my fucking domain. This isn't the cafeteria anymore. This isn't gym class anymore. We were here you are, Bridget. Uh-huh. This isn't gym class anymore. We were not rude or aggressive, so there was no need for the security. She then didn't want to let me wash my hands before leaving the bathroom and tried to stop us getting our coats. You have to leave and be cold.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Absolutely ridiculous service and it's a shame because the venue and the performers were incredible. Victoria said she was happy to receive a negative review, so here it is! Here you go, Victoria! We're gonna negative review this place! You're gonna get such a negative review and... It's not... You're not gonna like it. Put in a charming British accent.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Yeah. Piano works. You're not gonna like this one. Piano works. I think you need to have a look at who you're picking to be management and Have a think about whether it's this is the treatment of your customers that you want Perhaps your management needs training on how to deal with members of the public right Wow a hannah one-star Same kind of thing extremely rude staff. Oh Would not recommend. I'm shocked that they're allowed to hire people this rude. There's a lot wrong with that. That they're allowed
Starting point is 00:27:32 to hire anybody. Shocked that they would maybe. The staff are looking for a fight so please be careful. The front of house staff made a joke about it being a Saturday night and that the staff are allowed to drink. I don't think this is a good idea as for some of them it made them extremely aggressive. We left after about five minutes due to this. Happy to have a call or discuss further as I don't like the thought of people being treated with disrespect because of a power hungry staff. I can see from the reviews this is a common theme. It really is too. Jesse, one star. I don't like when the staff is drunk. It's really off-putting. No, it's weird. You're supposed to be the sober one. I'm supposed to rely on you
Starting point is 00:28:14 to take care of this shit while I get drunk and then pay for it. That's the point. I went to a bar in Austin that was like an underground bar and the door man was fucking hammer. I could not believe how drunk this man was. That's off-putting to me too. He slurred to me, let's see some identification. He didn't even say ID, he said the whole word and he could barely say it. I was like dude, they have a fucking abbreviation for this, makes it way easier. Not only that, I have a half-gray beard.
Starting point is 00:28:43 What are you talking about? Yeah, I think I'm holding beard. What are you talking about? Look at my face Look at it's in here think this comes from your fucking 18, right? You think a night now is capable of this? No, let's direct attention to the top of my fucking head for a little more Hello You've overlooked that shit yeah to, let's just look at the beard. But I can't believe you overlooked that in the first place.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Let's start here and then move downward on my face. And then we'll discuss who needs ID. So one star here. Food came cold. Then when I told them the steak came cold, the lady gave me some attitude. With a side of attitude, you got that steak? Forgot my grilled onions, but sure gave me a side of attitude. I later found out they took another steak that was left on the table and reheated it and gave it to me.
Starting point is 00:29:39 No they didn't. No, nobody did that. Where did you learn that? I fucking hope not anyway, that would be horrifying That's gross attitude of bar staff waitress waiters was shocking I would never recommend this place for a Christmas social or any time or any time of big social gatherings They're incapable of providing adequate service bar staff. I asked for two drinks They gave me one and then when I mentioned they forgot the second drink He gave me some attitude and said he's serving someone else
Starting point is 00:30:10 This place sounds great here Robert one star great place to go with the security are horrendous I Had not even been drinking and asked to put my jacket on a chair that someone was sitting on which Resulted in me being kicked out as apparently this is not allowed within the venue. Wow. Okay. I don't think it's that.
Starting point is 00:30:29 There's something else that's not allowed there. Yeah. You're not allowed to be touching people. You can't just put your jacket on somebody's chair. You came up shit-faced and put your jacket on someone's chair and they were like, get that fucking idiot out of here. Get that fucking thing off of me. Would not recommend until the security is changed as it is ridiculous to be removed from the premises
Starting point is 00:30:46 for this action Okay Next up here. Let's see Henry one star. I was here last night to celebrate my wife's birthday. She didn't come just me Okay, my sister Hey play this one. It's my wife's favorite song. What'd you yeah, I'll tell her you played it Which would be the first night she and I will be alone without the kids But it was completely ruined after the security took me out suggesting. I was a bit tipsy. He's like yes I'm getting pussy tonight. Finally. My kids are gone. We're getting freaky
Starting point is 00:31:22 Fuck you talking. Yes, of course. I'm drunk. I'm gonna see her asshole I'm so drunk you don't understand it's great hopefully she's just a shit face can you yeah she's gonna look into my asshole Wow I did not want me to go back in I was left in the cold with my coat in there and my missus did not come with her phone thank God she was able to locate me outside and we left I already got a bottle of Finlandia vodka, four bottles of Prosecco, two bottles of Rose for my family and friends but could not drink up to 40% of what we have spent. Not a good place to recommend to friends. I will definitely never come close to this venue again." And he just posted a picture
Starting point is 00:32:04 of the outside of the place. This is me outside. He's again." And he just posted a picture of the outside of the place. This is me outside. He's not in. He just posted a picture like from the sidewalk of like, can't get back in now. Inside there is five bottles of shit I bought. It's all in there. Response from the owner. Oh, here we go.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Thank you for taking the time to leave us your feedback. Okay. Our team have a duty to care to all of our guests inside the venue and promote responsible drinking. If a guest seems too intoxicated, they will be asked to pop upstairs for a fresh air for 15 minutes. If our team feel this isn't enough, they'll be asked to leave the venue. I assure you that our team would not ask you to leave for no reason and only does so when
Starting point is 00:32:42 they deem it necessary. Best wishes, Daisy. That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. That makes me have you pop upstairs to get a breath. Yeah, just to take a little breath there, breath of fresh air. An American response would have been listen fucking drunky. You came in, you took your dick out three times, you grabbed a chick's ass and we tossed you out.
Starting point is 00:33:04 You fucking bum don't ever come back Connor one is he'll give you a breather for a little breather Connor one star bouncers were hostile and aggressive ruining the night for our group Sure, I'd gone through security and was entering the venue when a bouncer called back called me back to the entrance I hadn't heard the call didn't realize he was talking to me, so I continued walking in. I was then grabbed and told I was not getting in for no other reason than I hadn't heard the bouncer calling me. When attempting to speak to the same bouncer, I was grabbed by a group of security guards who used completely unnecessary force—photo of the
Starting point is 00:33:41 outcome attached, by the way—they ruined the night for no deserving reason whatsoever. I'll not be returning. Very disappointed. Here is a picture of multiple. What is, oh boy, they manhandled him. Bruises all over the arm, like death in the finger marks. Yeah, it looks like a domestic violence fucking picture. Somebody resisted.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Got grabbed up. Somebody may have been a bit drunk. That's what I'm saying. I think they didn't realize how hard they got grabbed because they were drunk. Moe gives one star. I don't really know where to start. Well, okay. Well, at the beginning, let's do it.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Suffice to say in 33 years of professional team events, this place provided probably the worst experience of any I've ever used as a team Christmas party venue. Okay, so start at the end and then we'll go back to the beginning. That's, I guess, go back to getting there and arriving. As a senior leader in our business, I personally made it up. I don't need any of this. What did they do to you? God damn it.
Starting point is 00:34:42 I'm skipping that part. You managed to ruin our team's enjoyment. I don't care about your business at all. What do they do? You managed to ruin our team's enjoyment even before we set foot in the place. If any of the managers happen to read this, I'd say you might take a start by replacing your aggressive door and internal security staff and maybe stop trying to skin corporate clients alive in terms of the financial arrangements. Well, that is what every venue does.
Starting point is 00:35:09 It's a write-off. You're not supposed to do the shit. They know it. You know it. Everybody's playing along here. You have to spend a shitload of money. We get to make a shitload of money. This is how this works.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Yeah. We'll kind of treat you like it matters. That's right. And the less said about the food, the better. In terms of requests to the band, we got gotta get out of this place was a popular choice. And then a very English ending. Oh my god. Unspeakably ghastly experience.
Starting point is 00:35:40 That's so English. Ghastly, unspeakably ghastly. Ian one star. If I could give zero I would. That's right. They never do it right. What is that? I don't understand it. Come on guys, get with the fucking program here.
Starting point is 00:35:56 It's only a few words, you got it. You get it, in the right order you can do it. You buy tickets for an event online. Great! Okay, that's the good. They advertise additional quote, insurance, which you can pay for. Great. Why would you need that? Oh, in case you can't show up.
Starting point is 00:36:10 What the fuck? Is that deposit insurance? What is happening? If I can't make it, I can cancel the tickets. Err, no. No refunds, no cancellation, and the place and the peace of mind insurance? Unless you are dead or in prison, you get nothing. So it's a death
Starting point is 00:36:25 benefit. Yeah it's just for extreme shit. You can bequeath your your reservation to somebody I believe is what that's for. They're treating it like airline insurance like act of god you get nothing back. Sorry we don't know fucking tough shit. Okay EVO One Star was really looking forward to going to the piano works after hearing all about how great it was, but it could not have been a more disappointing experience. After queuing to get inside for a 6pm booking, we were taken to a table all good so far. It sounds like it sat down and as usual, during the current COVID time, scan the barcode to order drinks
Starting point is 00:37:05 and was successfully ordered some and paid for it. After waiting 15 to 20 minutes, we asked a waitress and were told the app was broken and they had not received the order. Shit. Then it proceeded to, instead of apologizing, no one had informed us of it, nor were there any notes informing customers
Starting point is 00:37:24 of the app being broken broken and offering us to bring Us the drinks ASAP tell us that we should not have used the app to order and that she'll now have to talk to the manager To get a refund. Oh Shit, I love payment does a lot of payment goes through but not the drink water. That's How about disabled that part just give me the drinks about that. I'll even yeah, I'll order them You got the money. Everybody's fucking happy here. What's the, I don't understand what the fucking problem is here. Weird.
Starting point is 00:37:49 And we had to show them the receipt that we had received via email from Piano Works themselves. After another 15 to 20 minutes, the manager came by and asked us to take a picture of my phone and the receipt because the app didn't work. Yes, we knew it at that point. Thank you. In the meantime, my friend who has eyesight issues and a badge to prove it. Do you get a badge if you're blind in England?
Starting point is 00:38:13 Inspector blind man? Official Scotland Yard blind person. Chip, Chip, Cheerio. So, okay, and completely- Inspector Gatorats? Yeah, was completely ignored when asking for help Chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-chip-ch When you get in there, how are you gonna know where the toilet is? I feel like the guys who work here are just the Oasis guys. Just the dudes from Oasis. It's real surly. Just being dick. Hey, we want to go to the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Oh, I need the water closet, aye? Oh, I don't like me brother. We had to repeatedly tell them we were leaving. Oh, I guess tell them we were leaving spelled wrong. At which point they served us drinks I had ordered in the app like an hour before. The waitress then told us that if we weren't ordering food, we had to leave. We barely got drinks. When do we get the food?
Starting point is 00:39:21 Oh, take your piss and get lost, Governor. We told them we were leaving because of the poor service. It's the poor service, isn't it? That's what it is there. So essentially, drink fast. Sorry we had booked until 8.30, so not sure what the issue was, and we were going to leave anyways. Music was great, everything else so, so bad.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I'm really... This is a fascinating plan and business. I don't like it. I don't get it at all. I'm really disappointed after looking forwards to this experience for weeks, four words. Definitely not coming back. Yeah, I don't like this.
Starting point is 00:39:57 You have an allotted time to come in and drink. That's stupid. No, it's fucking weird. It's a very strange- And you have to leave by- I can't just come in and stay? Yeah. That's the thing, I have to leave when I'm having a good time and I'm spending money. I got a fucking leave now
Starting point is 00:40:07 What is that about? He got to give somebody else the opportunity? No This isn't a baseball game in the game fucking innings are over work. You're open and I'm here you sell booze I have money. What are we fucking talking about? So, there we go, we've gone to jolly old England. Wow. Let's hop back across the pond to go to jolly old New Jersey. What do you say, everybody? As it's known here in the States, if you're a tourist, come and say, I'd like to see jolly
Starting point is 00:40:34 old New Jersey. Everyone will know exactly what you're talking about. We all know. We're going to the Joyce Kilmer Service Area. What is that? It is a toll road rest stop on 8N New Jersey Turnpike, East Brunswick, New Jersey. Open 24 hours. 3.9 stars out of 5,300 reviews. Lot of reviews here. Some people love this rest stop. Just the best place to take a shit in the entire New Jersey Turnpike. I'm told New Brunswick is actually a decent place.
Starting point is 00:41:08 It's like blue collar and middle of the road and decent. Is it? Not the last time I heard. Last time I heard. No, it was a lot of. New Brunswick sucks? Yeah, New Brunswick had a lot of gangs and they were feuding with the Camden people. Oh, well then maybe let's not go there.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Yeah, but maybe, I could be wrong. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. This is Marissa Five Stars. OK, the Joyce Kilmer Service Area in New Brunswick, New Jersey is a modern and well-maintained rest stop along the New Jersey Turnpike. Recently updated, the facility offers a good selection of fast food options, including Nathan's and Starbucks.
Starting point is 00:41:42 What? Yeah, yeah. What? That's awesome. Yeah, all the East Coasts we stop at those all the time they have the oh yeah they have a good a rest commerce area that's right it's like a fucking food court mall even though we just drove from Kansas to Oklahoma they had that mermaid Dairy Queen oh yeah yeah but that other rest stop didn't have shit yeah shit they just had they had they had trees that were dead six inches of bird shit under all
Starting point is 00:42:08 of them and not a bird to be seen. And the vending machines had stuff in there. Yeah the bottles were like they were all wrinkled and like imploded. They were totally imploding. I've never seen anything like that before. It was fucking wild and they had like they had products that were discontinued long ago too. Like yeah, they had like mellow yellow in there. They still have mellow yellow, but they were like There I was like wow. What do they got their marshmallow alphabets? I haven't seen those in fucking 20 years Yeah, a lot of shit in there is weird the rest stop also features clean and spaces spacious restrooms Which are a welcome sight during any road trip? clean and spacious restrooms which are a welcome sight during any road trip. Duh.
Starting point is 00:42:45 While it can get busy, especially during peak travel times, the service area is efficiently run with plenty of amenities like a gas station and EV charging stations. Whether you're refueling your car or just taking a break from the road, the Joyce Kilmer Service Area provides a pleasant and reliable stop on your journey. You bet. Or just having a great time. This sounds like a place to visit. They're just kicking it. Yeah, you're killing it there. This is great stuff. Great pit stop for
Starting point is 00:43:09 travelers, people are saying. Now one star. Here we go. Terrible layout. Food is terrible. Layout's very uncomfortable. Who the hell designed this place? It's the most Jersey review ever. It's fucked. That's terrible. This is terrible this layout So who the fuck designed this fucking shithole? What's going on? I want to see him. Show me the guy for crap Bring them out. I'm gonna fight him right fucking now. I swear to God. I swear I ain't afraid of them. Oh My god Here is one star All caps do not get your fuel here
Starting point is 00:43:47 star all caps do not get your fuel here this station is fueled by employees of Sunoco they would take your credit card and keep it while the car is fueling yeah that's how a lot of gas stations do right yeah if you don't do pay at the pump our car has an 18 gallon box and we I never heard it put like that before just say tank an 18 gallon box the fuck fuck does that mean? Wow, it's a big box. Yeah. I say, listen, lady, it's a pretty big box. You got that. There's no gallon.
Starting point is 00:44:12 What do you got? Like an 18 gallon box? It's bigger than my hat. Oh, and we went to Sonoco with a half of tank of gas, with a half of the gas left. The employee first put the fuel in, then wiped our glass, yeah, New Jersey is full service there. You're not allowed to pump your gas. Justin, we thought they are done.
Starting point is 00:44:32 He pressed the two fuel button again and put in more fuel. It ended up with 15 gallons. Our fuel tank can't even take that much gas. Well, it did. Otherwise, it'd be pouring out on the ground. That's how that works. And let me tell you how gas gauges work. You probably only had six gallons in there.
Starting point is 00:44:52 And an 18 gallon tank probably has a little bit in the bottom for reserve too. I'd love to know what kind of car you drive, sir. It's probably a 20 gallon tank. That's the other thing. Yeah, we have no idea. He doesn't know his fucking tank capacity. He called it a box for Christ's sake. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He has nothing. He knows nothing. We tried to talk and argue, but there were too many people
Starting point is 00:45:15 there and they were playing dumb. They were playing, this is how much gas we pumped. That's it. Right. The weights and measures, the government measures those gauges. They know exactly how many fucking gallons of gas went in there. Fuck, I will be filing a complaint. With who? Weights and measures. The New Jersey Gas Station Authority? What are you fucking filing complaints with?
Starting point is 00:45:39 You don't understand, US government. My box only holds 18. This guy overfilled my box box you know what I mean I told them I don't have a half of 18s nine how do you put nine gallons in don't throw it 15 gallons in the nine gallons they were loading up other cars and I was paying for it that's what it was personal employee cars so please don't get your money scammed here all right the fucking cause of the worst. So Darryl one star. This was the worst lunch experience ever.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Carlos, who is the supervisor of Popeyes, was very rude and had very bad customer service. He's probably the reason why the line was the shortest or least busy. The treatment I received today was unacceptable and should be addressed immediately." It doesn't say what the treatment was, just that he was bad. And it was Popeyes and not the Rest Area problem. You could have reviewed the Popeyes, right? Just the Popeyes, yeah. I think there's probably an individual Popeyes review. Right. Yeah, you probably could have looked at that restaurant. Yeah, don't blame the fucking Rest Stop.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Right, the Rest stop did it. Okay, Keith one star. Outside was disgusting with an overwhelming amount of trash and food on the ground. I went inside with my wife and the baby to get Starbucks and it was just as dirty. While standing in line for coffee, we were hit with the urine smell coming from the restrooms. That's probably because that's where the urine is, I would think. At least the urine smell wasn't coming from the coffee. That was's true. Probably because that's where the urine is, I would think. Right, yeah. At least the urine smell isn't coming from the coffee. That was better. Keep driving to the next service area.
Starting point is 00:47:10 And there's a picture of a full trash can. Yeah, right. But okay. John One Star, oh my God. I stopped at the Joyce Kilner Service Area, which should be renamed Joyce Kill My Wallet area. Yeah. Jesus Christ, man.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Come on, bro. Yeah. Because Nathan's charged me for two hot dogs, order of fries and a Coke, ready $22. All right. If I had my two sons with me, it would have been $66. Oh, okay. Because I've really. And if I had my two sons with me it would have been $66. Oh, okay, cuz I've really And if I had a football team with me I did the man Also if I had a 20 gallon box I had to fill with put that in there
Starting point is 00:47:55 It's a lot might as well be at Yankee Stadium. That'll be way more than that at Yankee Stadium actually Two hot dogs fries in a drink that seems Yankee Stadium actually. $23 for two hot dogs, fries and a drink. That seems reasonable doesn't it? For a rest stop? Yeah. The Dairy Queen we went to, those weren't regular Dairy Queen prices. No, that was outrageous.
Starting point is 00:48:11 It was up a little bit. Yeah, because those fucking people as we looked at, they had to drive an hour to get there. There's no place for them to fucking live. So they had to pay them an extra dollar, so we got to pay an extra dollar. Come on New Jersey Transit Authority and Nathan's, give us a break, like they work together. The Transit Authority has a stock in Nathan's and they know how to do it. It's a conspiracy, James. They're all finger-fucking our wallet and that's how they get you. That's what it is. It's Joyce, kill my wallet time now. That's how it works. Shame on both
Starting point is 00:48:40 of you for price gouging drivers on the turnpike. Whoever got the no straws and no plastic bag laws passed, can you help out here? Get some legislation passed for price control at the New Jersey turnpike service areas. Well, if they did that, you'd say there's now there's no freedom, so you can't fucking win. Where's Arnold Diaz when you need him? Who the fuck is that? Some local New Jersey, sounds like some local New Jersey like Channel 6 Consumer Reports Arnold Diaz if they're fucking you. Call Arnold. Or some guy from around the way that just comes and breaks kneecaps for you. He's like Arnold Diaz I hear you charging a few
Starting point is 00:49:20 bucks too much for Nathan's. How much you think it is? Twenty-two? I don't think so. That ain't it. Let's lower that down a drop, alright? One star from Aaron, horrible customer service, one of the guys working inside of the Sunoco stared at me the entire time I walked around and looked for snacks. The woman working at the register while watching videos on her phone responded rudely when I asked her for a bag after purchasing
Starting point is 00:49:45 my items. I have noticed people up north have no sense of hospitality. Everyone is rude and standoffish. Guess what you can do? Take your ass and go the fuck back down with those fucking cunts who are the meanest shittiest fucking people in the fucking world. The difference is they treat everyone like that. Down there they pick and fucking choose who they want to treat like that.
Starting point is 00:50:06 They treat you nice while treating me like an asshole. So fuck you. Mason Dixon line is that way. Go hang out at Tiger Tail Beach with the mosquitoes you fucking fat asshole. Where's Arnold Diaz when I need him? Fuck. People up north. People up north are so much fucking friendlier. I'm sorry you come here all the time. How friendly is everybody? They're fucking friendly shit
Starting point is 00:50:33 Even bleeding lesbians are friendly who are screaming in the streets are still fucking friendly we found out leading from the face People are probably fuck with them. Yes unless you People are friendly unless you fuck with them. Yes, unless you fuck with them they're friendly. People in Florida bleeding in the street in public, they're like, what's the problem? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with me? You're leaking motherfucker. Quit looking at me.
Starting point is 00:50:54 You have blood on your face. What are you talking about? And your leg is covered in bruises for some reason, every blonde woman in Tampa. Apart from the city, New York City is a fucking, it's a mess because- You gotta get through it. Yeah, I'm just saying there's so many people there, you're bound to run into somebody that's got mental health issues. That's the rude person. Everybody else doesn't give a fuck about you. Everybody else is super fine, they don't you. They don't give a shit.
Starting point is 00:51:25 It's not that they're rude, it's just they have shit to do and you're in the way. They're minding their own business is what they're doing. You should try it sometime. That's the thing, is everybody down there is minding your business. Your business, exactly. Worry about you, motherfucker. That's the fact. So Christian one star star the Popeyes in
Starting point is 00:51:45 this location is disgusting oh first I was overcharged for my sandwich second in a combo meal I get I get a side show choose fries I get a side juice fries biscuit and a drink yeah I was only given fries the buns on the sandwich were literally frozen So I could so cold even to the touch then when I asked for three packs of ranch I was initially ignored then when I asked again the employee mumbled in Spanish a racial slur What are you sir I want to know what racial slur is this yeah, then I was big Spanish that's? That I refuse to repeat, then to only hand me one packet. Never stopping here again.
Starting point is 00:52:32 I'm sure he didn't say gringo because that's like the most common. Yeah, yeah, no, no. He said pendejo, right? It was something that probably wasn't really racial. It was more of... Yeah. Dottie one star. If I would choose negative stars, it would be negative 1000. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Starting point is 00:52:45 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Starting point is 00:52:53 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Get back to work in all capital letters. Well that woman wants to be manager so bad of whatever her job is and she's taking out on these people. No shit. Ben says one star, been here since 3 p.m. yesterday as nobody is doing anything about this unattended rental truck that has had nobody in it for two days. It's a picture of an enterprise truck rental just sitting there. Who fucking cares? What do you care? It's not the job. Did that prevent you from
Starting point is 00:53:30 shitting in the toilet? Because that's what it's there for. I don't know what. There might be people in the back sleeping. Who knows? Or an employee left to be. You have no clue why that's there and guess what? Doesn't affect your day at all. Move on, Ben. Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ Mary one star This is an old rest stop that has that as of my recent visit is becoming horribly maintained The condition of the women's restroom on my recent stop was truly disgusting The floor near the sinks was covered in used paper towels apparently thrown on the floor because the waste baskets were overflowing paper towels apparently thrown on the floor because the waste baskets were overflowing. Every toilet stall had some issue clogged with toilet paper and
Starting point is 00:54:08 human waste or urine covered toilet seats. Well that's a men's room is what you're... Yeah, why'd you go in the wrong one? Welcome to the men's room or seat covers and toilet paper lying all over the stall. It was depressing to see how women using the facility had created these conditions and disconcerting to know that the location did not have proper cleaning capacity." Wow. John once star, wow, he says. Even when quiet at 3am this place is a mess. Restroom was disgusting and the entire place dirty. The coffee station was surrounded by trash and badly need cleaning off. The coffee station was surrounded by trash and badly need cleaning off. The parking lot looks like someone emptied a dumpster of trash there."
Starting point is 00:54:50 Okay, and then we'll do this last one and then we'll get to the personal item of the week here. There's a couple of good ones out here. All right. Logan one star, of all the managers are rude as hell. Of all the managers are rude as hell. The black lady with short hair is the worst of them. I asked her for help and she put her finger up at me as to signal me to shut up. Well, wait a second. While she proceeded to discipline this worker who looked no older than 21. I don't think age is the matter. If they're working there, then they're, yeah. She talked to her in such a negative and condescending tone. Honestly, it's people
Starting point is 00:55:29 like this that create such negative work environments. I honestly couldn't believe how rude she was. Maybe she went in the bathroom and saw the condition of it and was like, are you kidding me? You can't do this. Her hair looked like it was held down with quick creep. I don't know what that matters, but it's funny. I feel sorry for the employees in this place. It could be such a cool place for travelers to stop in, but the way it's run, no wonder it looks the way it does. Hopefully her power trip shifts and this place turns around.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Old concrete weave. Old concrete, yeah, concrete head. A lot of people complaining about hair balls in the sinks and shit like that. What? Yeah, I don't understand it here. It's very... Like, what kind of... Hmm, are people shaving in there?
Starting point is 00:56:15 Taking a bath? I don't know. I have no idea here. One last one, one star. Along with the majority of these racket rest stop areas off the New Jersey Turnpike, it resembles a trash dump. A trash dump that only accepts money. As opposed to what? Trades?
Starting point is 00:56:35 Bartering? Get your gas and get the hell out. This place was full of nasty smelly people who looked as though they just crawled out from a muddy ditch. You'd find a better atmosphere and cleaner bathrooms in a third world country. I'll run out of gas or head on into a tree at 70 miles an hour before I stop here again. I'll kill all of us. I'll fucking kill everybody. Alright, I gotta do one more. God damn it Amanda. You fucking bitch. Now you're making me do this one star. The food itself is fine, but the way the managers speak to employees is so disrespectful. Was this concrete head? What are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:57:13 Probably. E-mod and another manager on duty were extremely rude. I would never work under these managers. You're at a rest stop. This isn't your job. You stopped here for a hamburger. They said, I'm the manager. I'm higher up up than you so you need to do what I say in front of all the customers Yeah, that's how it works though. Have you never worked anywhere? Like I've been screamed at at jobs in Italian at the fucking in the front of people screamed at dressed down I don't want to I don't want to sound like an old man of kids today, but sometimes you got to tell them verbally what's what. You can't just assume a hierarchy. You got
Starting point is 00:57:51 to tell them, no, no, I've been here because my life is a dead end and I've been here for eight years. I have a studio apartment I can barely afford. Understand? I'm 34. The only thing that gives me joy in this life is telling a 21 year old what the fuck to do. That's all I got. I confronted the manager and he said, well, she needs to do what I say. She's lazy and dumb. But this guy works with her. Maybe she's lazy and dumb. That's the thing. We don't know. I had to walk away. I had to walk away at this point. I hope this gets taken care of because those workers do not need to be treated with that kind of disrespect. Holy fucking shit. That's amazing. So we are
Starting point is 00:58:38 going to move on from this place. A lot of complaints about the Burger King. A lot of that going on here. Oh man, it's dirty. smelled like death by the way is another great one that I like. Death, smelled like death. Okay, here we go. Personal item of the week everybody. What is it? The Merich, that's the brand, M-E-R-I-C-H, I C H magic T O N G K A T tongue at Madora virginity wand instant result tightening rejuvenation stick natural vaginal stick for tightening and cleaning. Did you say tongue cat? I tongue tongue T O N G tongue cat tongue cat. This is to tighten up your pussy is what this is. Is that right? You stick something, a virginity wand it says on the outside of it. Virginity
Starting point is 00:59:29 wand. Does it look like a tongue? No, it just is a box with a virginity wand on the outside. How the fuck does it work? And a very happy looking young lady in the picture. Hey, would you like to see her? She looks like, my pussy's great. Look how great. Look at the confidence she has in her pussy right now. It's huge. This says, infused with an all natural herbal blend that supports vaginal suppleness. What? Vaginal suppleness? I don't understand how this works.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Have you ever gotten laid and been like, yo, her pussy was supple. I've never used that term before. And supports vaginal suppleness and contraction. It restores confidence and makes intimacy more fulfilling for you and your partner. It says it's different from others. Our product differs from all other Madura sticks. There's more? Apparently so.
Starting point is 01:00:14 In terms of being wrapped in a protective bubbled bag and placed in thick sturdy box to avoid breakage. That's what's different. The packaging. Nothing else. Yeah. It's in bubble wrap. Wow wrap Well preserve your vaginal health keep your vagina smelling clean with magic tongue cat Madura virginity wand prevent by vaginitis vaginal itching odor or unbalanced
Starting point is 01:00:35 Discharges by maintaining optimum feminine pH balance with the increased feminine female hormones the stick as the effect of promoting the pH scale in the feminine reproductive system What does it look like does it look like Harry Potter's? It's just a little yeah, it's a little wand It's a little fight says it's five point one seven inches five point seven one inches by eight one point One eight inches by one point. Yeah, it's like a it's like a little dildo This would be real magic though Tighten your pussy. You don't just cast a spell on it, you put it inside and it tightens?
Starting point is 01:01:09 You can also say a little incantation if you want. You can say whatever you want. Eliminate vaginal insecurity. Childbirth, aging and other factors can fatigue vaginal muscles, making you susceptible to maladies such as vaginosis, making intimacy less fulfilling, eliminate these conditions naturally in the privacy of your home. Here we go. Masha 5 stars.
Starting point is 01:01:36 It worked! Love this product. It works! It works. I was pleasantly surprised by the Magic Tonkat Madura Wand. With natural ingredients, it delivers noticeable results quickly, providing a feeling of rejuvenation and tightening. The product is easy to use and I appreciate that it's made from natural herbs without
Starting point is 01:01:55 any harsh chemicals. It's a great option for anyone looking for an extra boost of confidence and refreshment. Highly recommend it for those curious about trying a natural approach to intimate care. So does this stick like inject something, like a monistat one in there or something? It probably bleeds it out the sides or something. It's got something, right? You squeeze and then it like leaks.
Starting point is 01:02:16 There's an ointment, right? There's a cream. This has to be a one use thing too, right? You stick it out there. Yeah. Because otherwise, yeah, you have to keep applying whatever onto it. This is crazy. One star, or otherwise it's good. Yeah, you got to keep applying whatever onto it This is crazy One star or five stars. I'm sorry life-changing
Starting point is 01:02:30 Really? Wow. I never knew this existed until I was searching for a way to naturally help pH issues and to control odor and other issues I normally this lady's vagina's a mess. It's a fucking mess down there Oh, can you imagine talk about Pandora's box. Holy fuck Everything's going great. All sorts of shit coming out Wow Take your pants down and then just go fingers crossed. I don't like anything that's happening down here. She says That I normally experience after having my period as well as after childbirth It comes in a sealed package along with sealed wrapping to prevent the freshness
Starting point is 01:03:05 or to preserve the freshness of the virginity wand. To use the wand is extremely simple. I run it underwater for 20 seconds, then insert, then rotate a few times. Apparently that's how you use it. Like a COVID test. That's it. Put it in there and spin it. You gotta just spin it around and then fingers crossed. It's a discreet and fast way to maintain balance down there and it also improves the walls and lining along with the libido.
Starting point is 01:03:30 This is a win-win for me. I wish I had known about this sooner. It's definitely life-changing finding something to help with all the issues in a simple task that only takes a few minutes to use. Wow. Not bad. Four stars for Morgan. It works.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Okay. I love this. It actually freaking makes you tight. Four exclamation points. Four, I snapped my boyfriend's cock off in me. I mean, it's still in there. I can't even get it out. It's so tight.
Starting point is 01:04:00 And it works so fast, I could barely get the wand out. It's just crazy. It came, my my only issue it came broken in the mail. I've had to use only half at a time I'm unsure how to fix that issue. So she's only sticking in half at a time Yeah, not getting it all the way up there four stars fresh and balanced. I stumbled upon this virginity wand while looking for something to help balance my pH levels. At first I wasn't sure about it, but I decided to give it a shot and boy I'm glad I did. It totally changed the game for me. I felt so much fresher, especially after my period.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Plus the packaging was super tight. The packaging was super tight, which showed me they really care about quality. And the's all in there. Yeah, and the wand even makes the package tight. Yeah, why not? If you're dealing with a pH balance issue or just want a post-period pick-me-up, wow, that's something. I totally recommend giving the Virginity Wand a try. It's been a staple in my routine for sure. Wow.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Three stars on the fence about this is what Kit says. Quote, I'm on the fence about this one. I think it works, but it's making me so dry and leaves a white residue that kind of looks like rolled up tissue pieces. They might be. Yeah. Those might be. I don't know what's going on there.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Holy shit. This person, wow person Wow Nina three stars Okay Very short it worked, but after a while dot dot dot What happens your pussy falls out? What what's going? Yeah, she gave nothing another thing else. That's it. That's it after a while But then after a while a goblin crawls out of there Really ate all my food. It was wild robbed me blind Molested my kids and left
Starting point is 01:05:55 Lisa two stars. Okay is the title I have mixed emotions about this one First let me say this please do Lisa, this does everything it says. I'm telling you the snatch back is beyond real. The what? The snatch back is beyond real. Snatch back. Yeah I got it. Yeah. It's yeah. Apparently that's the term for tightening up your pussy. I'm not sure. For the snapback, it's a snatchback. Wow. And it works really quickly. However, there is a problem. This is where my problem comes in at. Now, when I started using this, I followed the directions to a T and had no issues the first few uses besides feeling very dry, which I bought oil for and voila. Then I would say that maybe the fourth time I used it, it started to burn and make me feel like I had a yeast infection. Didn't, but it was painful and the burning
Starting point is 01:06:52 was like I did. So I decided to take a break thinking maybe I used something, wash, etc. that possibly irritated me. However, the following time I had the same issue. So I don't know if it became too much for me or what changed but be careful when using it Specifically if you are sensitive down there. Yeah, okay, Nia one star it broke in half Hopefully hopefully not in you is the problem right? Didn't even try to get it or didn't even get it to try it. That's right It broke in half the first time so I can't tell you if it works or not. Yeah, I think that broke in her She had to go fishing for that bad boy. Yeah, I would like to get a replacement or a refund
Starting point is 01:07:35 Well, that is your virginity wand right there. Sorry. I put it in I put it halfway in my pussy and it broke. Can you take it back, please? Nope Returns I'll drop it off at Amazon. Fuck that. Okay. Yeah. Leah one star, ouch. Oh?
Starting point is 01:07:52 This doesn't tighten you. It dries you out like the desert, which will make you feel less impenetrable, which will make you feel impenetrable. Isn't that what you? Yeah. Sometimes it's probably what you're going for. I feel like nothing could penetrate my pussy today
Starting point is 01:08:05 Nothing you'll get in there. I'm getting chub rub internally. Oh what chub rub? Internally that I don't know Not a good feeling every step I take makes me want to walk around with a syringe full of KY Which was the original police lyrics, but then they changed it to every breath you take And probably we should get rid of the syringe and the KY lyric. People aren't going to get that. So she's so dry in there she wants to lube it up. Shoot up KY in her pussy.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Definitely will never use this product again. I guess one thing this product was good for was to make me appreciate my natural moisture. And that was after just 15 seconds of use. Wow, one star here. The reason why I just 15 seconds of use. Wow. One star here. The reason why I bought it is the title. I'm so disappointed and very upset this product does not do what it says. It's a terrible product that should not be allowed on the market.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Besides not doing what it's supposed to, it makes you super dry. Do not recommend. Wow. What is this? One star again. Beware. Beware if you are sensitive. The product first day caused a lot of cramping and I did notice some redness in the vaginal
Starting point is 01:09:11 area after first use. I attempted to use a second time a week later. Again product caused rash, itchiness, irritation and redness to the vaginal opening. I have discontinued use of the product. Goddamn. Yeah, that's probably good, I would say. You got a burn, lady. You're allergic.
Starting point is 01:09:29 It seems horrible here. Okay, one star. Beware breastfeeding moms. Case is cute, but don't waste your money. It's just a rubber cover. Okay. What? Would definitely have been nice to know it's not for breastfeeding moms.
Starting point is 01:09:43 I wouldn't have bought it. Now I have something I'm not even going to use and it's not for breastfeeding moms. I wouldn't have bought it. Now I have something I'm not even going to use and it's not like it would be a nice gesture to give it to someone else either. So in the trash it goes... What does that have to do with it? I don't know and you can't... Yeah, who are you going to give that to? There's got to be a drug in it, right?
Starting point is 01:09:57 That makes it... Probably. They said it's all natural, no chemical. Who the fuck knows? What the fuck are they talking about? I don't know what they're talking about here. Abby One Star, not worth the money it worked one time Being using it in nothing. I see no results. No difference nothing. It's a no for me with a thumbs down emoji
Starting point is 01:10:14 Yeah, pussy still just vagina flapping in the wind. Yeah, I got a stinky dry pussy now Loose flapping I store my boots up there. I just I got nowhere else to I loose flapping I store my boots up there I just I got nowhere else to I carry half the groceries in from the car out there because it's just there's a lot of room it's just wide open. I can feel my cervix rubbing against my jeans. It's weird. Anna one star I didn't like it the product is not what it says using it made me feel itchy and infected I would never use it again. Using it made me feel itchy and infected. I would never use it again. Okay. Sounds like people are allergic to some of the stuff that's in it.
Starting point is 01:10:51 The next one again, horrible infection. Yeah. Got a horrible infection. Too expensive to throw away. The money doesn't work. Throw it out. What? Are you kidding me? It's so expensive. Even cheap are you? Even though it hurts me, I'm gonna keep using it. But I paid for it, so gotta keep using it. Wow. It's not gone yet. Oh my God. One star, not worth my money.
Starting point is 01:11:17 The product disintegrated in one simple as indicated application. Disintegrated. She took it out and it was just a little handle. was nothing else there what's inside your vagina what kind of acidic quality is in your vagina that just liquefies things that you put inside of it like why Wiley coyote standing next to 10 and TNT yeah one star broken I'm scared to use it because it's broken. I don't want it to get stuck. I guess not No, if it breaks throw it out throw it out not worth it, but the money Jimmy you got to keep it
Starting point is 01:11:54 Michelle finally last of all one star horrible Made me bleed and I'm still bleeding. Oh not recommended up there is She is bleeding from the pussy as she writes this Every every letter I type I would have scrawled it on the wall in my own blood if I could but this is the only way to give a review She's stabbed like go slow lady. What's happening? Calm down. So there you go everybody that is Slow, what's happening? Calm down. So there you go everybody, that is.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Holy. We've been to the beach, we've been to a New Jersey rest stop, a surly English piano bar, and of course, our fucking vaginas are tight and ready to snap tree branches off it. Maybe yours, mine's just a sea of blood. Bloody and bleeding. I just got a mess over here.
Starting point is 01:12:40 It's a disaster, so there you go. Hope you guys enjoyed that. If you did, definitely check out our other two shows Yeah, I'm in sports and small-town murder which are just what they sound like Yeah, and keep coming back for more because you can't stop us from keep coming back every week We've got tons more shit to do and we'll be back next week. Thank you so much everybody. See you next week Follow your stupid opinions on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Your Stupid Opinions ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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