Your Stupid Opinions - Wine Drunk In The Bathroom, Impolite Translations, A Gigantic Crackhouse Of Permeating Despair

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

More of the funniest reviews on the internet! We read reviews for an apparently filthy Denny's, where dead animals may be in the vents, and the servers have to get wine drunk to cope. A 7-11 store in a very unlikely place, where even the local tradition of politeness can't overcome the need to be rude. A store that is descibed as a "gigantic crackhouse", where the "feeling of despair permeates" & much more!!   Join comedians James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman as they explore the most opinionated part of the internet: The Reviews Section!   Subscribe, and we will see you every Monday with Your Stupid Opinions!! Dont forget to rate & review!!   Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for merch & more Check out James & Jimmie's other podcasts, Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!!

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to your stupid opinions. Hey! Thank you so much for joining us today. You did it. You did it. You made it back just like we did, which, you know, you never know. You could end up in a Walmart and Flint. And then you never make it back after that. Anything's possible, everybody, as we've talked about here. Anything. Anything is possible. My name is James Petro Gallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Whistman. We are going to hear more from people we do not care about, about places we certainly don't want to be. So it's going to be so fun. Places will probably never go,

but really fun to hear about them. I just like hearing people complain. It's just so much fun. As we've always said, these reviews are always more about the reviewer than what's being reviewed. That's a great. It really is.

Head over to shut up and give me murder.com for all your merchandise and fun stuff like that. Check out the other two shows. We do crime in sports and small town murder, which are exactly what they sound like, except very funny. So let's dive right back in here before we, without any further ado. We're going back to Flint, and we're going to go back to Walmart and see what's going on. When we left off in Walmart, things weren't going well for people. They were starting to complain.

Apparently, you definitely don't want to buy a phone from this place. Yeah. What I've heard. Fraud. Yeah. And someone was very upset that every person who shops there doesn't. doesn't have a personal shopper, which is, I don't know where they thought they were shopping, but this is... And my phone bill just keeps getting extra charges.

Extra charges. The personal shopper thing, I just kept picturing like pretty woman, like Julia Roberts in there. And they're like, no, we don't do that. And then she comes back with a bunch of money and they're like, we still don't do that. Because this is Walmart. This isn't Beverly Hills. Big mistake. I'm going to Target.

Yeah, big mistake. It doesn't matter anyway. You can come right in off the streets on Walmart. They're not going to be happy to have you. They don't care. So let's find out what Lori thinks of Walmart. Here it is. One star.

If I could give this pharmacy zero stars, I would. Hey. She did it, Lori. Okay. You got it. Whatever you have to say from now on out. Yeah. I'm okay with it and I agree with you.

We're not going to disagree with you at all. The pharmacists. We blindly agree? Blindly agree. I don't care. At this point, that's all I need. If you say the opening right, you know what? I'm on your side.

Let's find out what we're signing up for. There's some sanity. Here we go. Well, let's find out. The pharmacist refused to fill a prescription from my 100% licensed primary care doctor, who I have seen for 20 years because it was for pain medication. All right. The guy said, you don't get those at Walmart.

Not here. Not from that guy. No, he said, yeah, I'm not going to give you these. I'm not filling those. I know that guy. He's a dick. That guy, he'll give a prescription to anybody. A six-year-old kid walked in here with an oxy-cotton prescription.

We can't fill that shit. Yeah. So, yeah, so right away, what are we thinking? Are we thinking this is... We all have the same thought here, correct? Yeah. Is she doctor shopping? What's going on?

Yeah. At the same time, who the fuckers is a Walmart phone? pharmacist to tell a doctor. No? Yeah, to a doctor's school. Because they fuck Walmart because they used to like in the 90s they pulled like the morning after pill they wouldn't sell at their pharmacy. They probably, I don't know if they still do that bullshit, but they pulled some like, oh, we have some, you know, moral shit where it's like you fuck you.

It wasn't the RU486, it was a morning after pill, which isn't even any, that's just birth control pills that you take the day after. It's stupid. It's not, the pill's not stupid. They're stupid for not wanting to fucking sell. So I don't know what their policy is. And it's like $30 at a clip. That like you're making money hand over fist.

I'd be slinging those to people that didn't even fuck. Yeah. Hey, you never know. Did you go swimming last night? You never know. That pool, you don't know what's in there. You know, anything's possible. So anyway, that's what they said here.

And I am currently being treated for breaking my ankle in three places. Whoa. With surgery and my whole ankle has metal holding it together. And I, it's all caps the end. And I just broke my other leg five days ago and need surgery also. Bitch, you need milk. You need a lot of shit. You need to really.

Your bones are falling apart. Yeah. You need to go to a doctor for osteoporosis at this point. Like, what the fuck is your problem? You need some yogurt that's got some additives in it? What is it? Supplements, I guess. Supplements?

Does this person, are they breaking their bones on purpose to get pain pills? Is that what we're talking about? Yeah, that's a crazy life you live, lady. Like, just run it over. They're like, I'm not running over. Just run my goddamn leg over. But, Mom, just run it over. I like it.

I like it. Do better Walmart. Everyone who takes pain meds are not all junkies with six medication, six medications, six exclamations. Yeah, six medications. Yeah. Can you be both? Everybody that's addicted to them are junkies.

And you can be injured and want pain meds, too. You can be like a person who's like, cool, I'm hurt. Now I get pain meds again also. Somebody. I don't know. A heroin addict can also get injured. Yeah. I don't know enough about the world of pill, like, doctor shopping and how all that works and what a pharmacist's, like ethical role is.

And I have no idea what that is. Like, I'm not a pharmacist, so I have no clue. I know that you can get. I hate prescription drugs, too. They're gross. Yeah. I know you can get in a lot of trouble as a pharmacist just by will. just by willy-nilly filling shit that you got.

But I don't know. If I'm a pharmacist, I'd be like, I don't know. They brought me a fucking prescription. I was going to say, if you call the doctor, they say, yeah, that's a real prescription. What are you supposed to do at that point? Are you supposed to call every fucking doctor? Yeah. You haven't treated this patient.

You don't know what they're about. But at the same time, there are unscrupulous doctors and how much of that is the pharmacist's job to figure that out. I don't know. That's what I mean. That's not my world. So not positive about that. That one doctor that gave the guy from friends, his shit, said, how much money can we make off this idiot?

Yeah, that's what I mean. There's a lot. Michael Jackson's doctor was certainly, I don't think, being very reputable. That was a legitimate doing it himself for Christ's sake. Come over here, Mike, and he's injecting him. So there has to be, you know, I don't know. I don't know where the line is there. Let's go to Roe one star.

Definitely unfriendly store. It's an odd sentence. Uh, employees horse, horse, uh, horse plaining. I guess that would be. Horse plaining.

They're horse plating, which is like mansplaining, but when you do it from the perspective of a horse, you just go, is it a horse or a horse? Horse. Horse. Horse.

Horse. H-L-A-I-N-G. Horse playing. Really? Horse playing. I think they're missing a Y in there. Yeah. But horse playing is very, uh, yeah, interesting there.

They're horse playing around, horse playing around. very confusing shelves. The highest part. It gets better. Do they lean? It's very confusing. It's just like there's like a lawnmower and a box of cocoa puffs on the same shelf, I think. It's just really, no one's thinking about it.

They're not wonky and like everything slides to this. No, it's just like Doritos and spray paint are together. You're just like, I don't know why that is. Grylon, get yourself some Trisket. With like tires next to them. It's real strange. So the highest part, colon. I don't know what they're talking.

The highest part, colon, the restroom in the back of the store with only one light on. Somewhere is a hidden switch. Dot, dot, dot, dot. If you know where it is, dot, dot, dot, dot, yes. Okay. It's apparently high atop a mountain, the highest part. High at top of a mountain, there is a bathroom lit by a, a single bulb.

And if you, there is a switch though for the rest of the lights, but it's secret and you have to know where it is. The store is saving money on electricity at the restroom. At the restroom only. That's where we're going to cut our costs. Just make sure they can't find the switch. It's it. Hide that switch.

Hide the, what are you putting the light switch out in the open? This is crazy. Next thing you know, you're going to let them flush it on their own. We got to save water. If they can find the switch, they're just going to. going to leave it on. They're going to keep turning it on. This is crazy. What are we doing? Rhonda, one star. They people just stand around and look at you like you're stupid. They people. They people. That's right. They people. They think they people. They think they people.

I asked him to do you work here. I asked him, do you work here? Wow. I asked him, this is so confusing. I asked him, do you work? work here, she said yes. Okay. Oh, that was a fun joke. I saw that ahead as you read ahead when you're reading and I'm like, wait a second. That's why I started over because I'm like, I must have read that wrong. No, that's what the sentence says. Is there two people?

Like she asked the guy, do you work here? And a lady poked her head around the corner and goes, yes. She jumped in and said, no, he doesn't. I don't know. I asked him, do you work here? she said yes, I can you, wow. She said yes, I said, can you help me? She said no, because I don't know where nothing just walked off.

I don't know where nothing. By the way, there's no punctuation in that at all. Because people know, sometimes on your stupid opinions, man, it's like you can't read. And it's like, no, it's like these sentences don't make sense and they're not written by humans. And your brain doesn't work like this. Like it has a certain syntax. that like we all speak in as human beings and especially... Your mind tries to follow a sentence and create it while you're reading it.

Yeah. Mine, whatever. But the lack of punctuation is like, I don't know where anything starts or ends or... I have a difficult enough time when it's written by fucking... Authors. Yeah. Well, it's written by Stephen King. I have a tough enough time.

This is crazy. Oh, Christ, there's no goddamn punctuation. No, there's a couple of periods in there. Here we go. Hannah, one star. Uh-huh. Just a forewarning for anyone shopping here. There's a woman walking around with her child who will fill up her cart with food

and beg people to buy her food for her, her son, her fake unborn child. And then in parentheses, she is wearing a fake bump. Uh-huh. She's seen through the scam. This lady, I just see Hannah walked up to this lady. And she was like, yeah, you want me to pay for your groceries? And then just uppercutted her in the fucking gut and the whole thing collapsed. And she's like, that's right, bitch.

It's phony. I knew it. I knew it. You got to take a chance of punching a baby to find out, lady. You got to be 100% positive before you go kicking a woman in the belly. So, yes, she's wearing a fake bump. She will corner you in the aisle. I saw an older woman give her some money and she left the cart.

Do not give this woman money. She looks to be Mexican. All right. Long brown hair with a son around the age of two or three. I'm unsure why she's cornering people in aisles and not letting them move. Do not leave your kids unattended for one second here. So she's asking for money or maybe she'll steal your child. Either one.

Maybe she's trafficking children. Yeah, sure that kid didn't belong to her. She picked that kid up at a Walmart on the other side of town. But she needs money for the air flights to traffic them. Yeah, clearly. That's what it is. Yeah. So that is, that is an interesting thing, though, that, uh, fake bump. Yeah. If I see a lady dragging a kid around, I'm certainly going to buy her something. You know what I mean? For sure. I bought a lady. Yeah. She didn't want me to. She just wanted cash like this. Yeah. I imagine she was going to walk out and go do whatever she wanted with that money. But I grabbed her three rotissory chickens and walked her ass to the front yard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do that. I do that a bit myself. And then she grabbed a cart full of. of shit and I was like, uh-uh. You can have the chickens.

These chickens should last. This is sustenance. No, yeah, people are always like, why do you do that? And it's like, well,

why not? I don't know. I don't know. Because if I don't, I'm going to feel like I let a child starve. Yep. I feel like an asshole. And I feel the same thing.

Same thing with, you know, homeless people who especially that are like over the age of 50. I'm like, oh, Jesus. I feel like shit. I'm not over 50, but I feel like shit as it is now and I have a house.

So you must feel awful. I'm trying to buy this lady food. She goes, I have five people at home. And I was like, well, tell them to get out and walk around too. I'm buying it for people I see. I can count too. Three chickens. It should be good, too, for five people, I think.

That ought to feed your whole fam. That ought to do everything for right now. Cirrice, one star. Don't ever in your life accuse me of lying about a problem. Christ that you have posted on the shelf. Yeah. In your life. In your life.

Especially considering how much trouble you guys are currently in accusing that man of stealing. That man, who knows? That man. Okay. All that beanbag built worker of yours had to do, beanbag built worker? Built worker? Built like a beanbag? Are you fat shaming?

I think that's a fat shaming. That's a coated fat guy. I think that's somebody who's shit just hangs like a beanbag. Maybe they're fake pregnant. You don't know. Go check and see if the bump is real. All that beanbag built worker of yours had to do was ask someone to go check. She told me she was too busy.

It was two of them monitoring self-checkout, standing by the door and talking and countless employees stocking the shelves. I hope that young man sues the pants off of you all. So apparently this isn't even her. She saw a young man get accused of stealing, and there might have been a price check problem for her, but she's not real clear. She's not having it. It seems like she was too angry to post that.

She needed to wait like 15 minutes, take a deep breath. And then tell us succinctly what the hell you're talking about, because I don't know what happened there. All right, BC, one star. So tell me why I was going about my business and shopping when another customer comes to me and let me tell you, I have no idea who this other customer is, by the way, tells me no punctuation in this at all, by the way.

And that is a crazy amount of words that are all being used incorrectly. You need so many commas in there to understand what the fuck is happening. And periods for crazy. Periods, commas. Okay, shopping, when another customer comes to me and let me tell you, I have no idea who this other customer is, by the way, tells me that I'm being followed and watch. And watch.

And watch. And now there is question marks and exclamations. They're very upset about this. I'm like, okay, thanks for looking out. So tell me why Walmart and loss prevention is following and watching me. Like I'm not a thief, nor was I stealing or trying to do anything that is against the law or trying to do anything like that. Why am I being followed or watched?

I don't steal, nor do I do I do anything. anything that's against the law or a law breaker. I pay taxes like everyone else and I'm a law abiding citizen, three exclamation points. Thank you very much. Wow. Okay. Barb one star, a little shorter. Yeah.

letting their kids like shit all over the place in there. Nobody cares about a Walmart bathroom. Yeah, I can't imagine a Walmart's really, really well put together, right? And if it's not lit properly, how are you supposed to figure out what you're doing anyway? Right. Yeah, if you have to search for the secret light switch. Marsha, one star. I found keys in the bathroom here last week and tried to give them to an employee.

I was rudely told to go wait in a line at customer service. So I did for literally 25 minutes. Okay, I'm just throwing the keys back on the floor at that point. this is this is not my problem you know I'll go hand him to somebody but I'm not waiting on a line for a person who's not even there I don't even know who the fuck this is

yeah no way and the customer service got rude with me for not handing them over to staff I then found the one that told you to okay I then found the woman who lost her keys and directed her to customer service she pointed out the same employee I told the keys about

and she said she asked her if she had heard anything apparently the employee told her it wasn't her job to keep track of people's shit. She said that out, wow. Apparently, yeah, she said, have you heard anything about anybody finding any keys? And she said, it's not my job to keep track of other people's shit and then walked away. Could have just said, no. That sounds like your shit, not my shit.

It's not my shit. I have all my shit, see. Wow. Never in my life have I seen. such inappropriate behavior. The woman who lost her keys was like 85. Who the fuck talks to the elderly like that? Yeah, that's a little lie.

It's not my job to keep track of old people's shit. Yeah, do you even know where you are, grandma? You just push her in another direction and fucking like a duckling, just in that and she just goes. Holy shit. That is amazing. Ernie one star. I'll drive to the Burton location if I have to go to Walmart. This location is an outright joke.

Filty, rarely have most items. The door clerks are a joke as well. I mean, there's a joke here to this guy. Must be a real clown, real comedian this guy. He's getting material out of everything. What the fuck? They think they can stop you and look at your receipt, even if they saw you go through a lane with an actual cashier checking you out.

Whatever they did try to stop me at the door, I laugh at them and keep walking. That's good. That's what you should do. You laugh at them. You laugh at them. You go, ha, ha, ha, ha. And you crumple it up and put it in your pocket.

You're not seeing this shit. Tackle me, old man. None of your business. None of your business. Jackie, one star. Checkout was bad. Uh-huh. Okay.

Clerk decided she needed to talk with customers on non-related stuff. Yeah. That's what they do. Conversation, all. It is boring. It is boring. It is just. swipe, swipe, swipe.

And people get mad when they don't talk. That's the thing. Yeah, he won't even fucking talk to you. So what do you want? Look at me. Yeah, I get the ones that hold up the line talking. That's annoying, but those are rare, Jesus Christ. Then had to call manager for lady who didn't have an ID and sold it to her, I guess, without an ID.

Then had to talk with other clerk who wanted SIGs. But talked sounded like she didn't want to give him Sigs. This is the words they're saying That they're typing out and putting into the world But talked like But talked sounded like she didn't want to give him SIGs The second lady wanted to get cash back And was telling lady to look for something cheap to buy

Then the transaction didn't go through So had to explain to her how to get PIN Then she started talking to First Lady again Oh That's the whole review I don't know There was some hold-up The checkout line.

Narrated everything she saw and none of it, none of it mattered. You know what that sounded like? A five-year-old. Yeah. They ever talked to a five-year-old? That's what they sound like. Clerk was bad. Clerk decided she needed to talk to customers on non-related stuff.

They had to call manager for a lady who didn't have ID and sold it to her and then talk with other lady who wanted SIGs. But Talkland sounded like she didn't want to give him SIGs. And the second lady wanted to get cash back. It was telling Lady to look for something cheap to buy and didn't go through. So she had to explain. She started talking to the first lady again. What happened? Huh?

That's a five-year-old. What? So she talked to the first lady again. I have to poop. That's a five-year-old. Like, that's what it sounds like. Are there Oreo? Yeah, this is ridiculous.

Mercedes one star. The workers were nice. The lines were long. The store is a mess and they need to amp up their security. Definitely want to feel safe while shopping. And that is not the feeling you get here. Okay. Oh, as I was walking in, there were three young men.

One had a gun showing his friend. He got on a amigo and was knocking stuff down in the aisles by running into them, and they were loudly talking so disrespectfully. So a man carrying a gun jumped in one of those little parts and then just started hitting shit? Started flying down the aisles and going like, like knocking all the shit off the shelves. I like they called it an amiggo. An amigo. I don't know what that.

I was going to ask you what the fucking amigo is, but the only, it has to be one of those like old person carts. It has to be. Now, I will say this. That sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah. I'd like to go into a Walmart armed and hop in one of those carts and knock all the shit off the shelves.

That sounds like a blast. Especially if they don't throw you out. They just let you keep doing it. That sounds great. That sounds like when you're a kid and you see like, you know, Tom Hanks and big fucking bouncing around Toys R Us and you're like, yeah, that's what this is for adults. Yeah. This sounds amazing.

Don't tell mom on the babysitter, when they grab those bounce balls with the handle on it. That's what I was thinking about. Not big. It was the bounce balls. Yes, totally. Yeah. Her and the clown dog, dork. Yeah, clown dog and her got kicked out. They got kicked the fuck out for that.

Like Christina Applegate in 1991 was getting kicked out for anything. Any way. Oh, God damn Toys R Us. Are you kidding me? Please. Jesus. I'm not kicking Kelly Bundy out of the store. No.

Especially for bouncing her fucking pussy on something. They'd be like, would you like to put your pussy on more things? Would you like to wear that low-cut shirt and let your boobs bounce all over the place in here? It sounds great, yeah. We have no problem with this. We're taking clown dog outside and beating the shit out of him, throwing him back in his truck. But you can stay.

That's what they'd say. We have loss prevention zoomed in on your chest. Yeah, we're all watching. We're making an employee training handbook. So this is okay. See this? This is a yes. Big green circle around it.

And they show a guy on it and the big red X through it. No, that's a no. What was the one where the girl and the guy got locked in Target at night? That was career opportunities. Jennifer Connolly. That was good. And she's on that fucking. Career opportunities.

That fucking horse. Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. That was a big one for kids our age growing up for our master Batori development. That was wonderful. Jennifer Conley, I think being remembered as being so goddamn amazing. Yeah.

Because she was in a lot of shit in the 90s. She was hot shit. Did she marry somebody fucking famous too? Did she, what's her name? Paul Bettany is who she married. Phoebe Cates it. Yeah. I don't know who Paul Bettany is.

It seems like he probably is doing well. I would hope so. Yeah. Even if she wasn't famous, I would hope she, somebody. He did all of her Twitter. and Julius Caesar and Royal Shakespeare Company. I hope he's doing very well. Yeah, hopefully.

He's artsy either way. Yeah, right. That's crazy that she likes artsy shit, huh? Yeah. She wrote a fucking coin up fucking horse for all of us to go, I'll talk to that later. For Frank Whaley, for Christ's sake. Come on, man.

I seen employees walk by and say nothing. This place is great. You know what? Five stars for this Walmart. You can have fun in here. I work retail and that is not how you handle these situations. If your store has no standards, then the customers won't have standards either. Kind of disappointing. You're disappointed in Walmart though? Have you ever been in Walmart and been like, oh, well, Walmart's really gone downhill? I've only been pleasantly surprised in a Walmart. That's the thing. When something's going well,

you're like, wow, really a Walmart too. This doesn't look bad. It's shocking. Walmart has a specific smell, too, and I hate it. Oh, yeah. It's like, whatever that smell is. It's so bad. It's tires and cardboard and fucking, and like cheap clothing. It's also like, it's so bad.

Yeah, artificial fabrics. They're all mixed together in a potpourri of desperation and sadness. Target smells decent, and then they've got the popcorn undertones, and I like it. Yeah. For some reason, they have a bunch of food in Walmart and you can't smell any of it. None of it. Subway going out. All I smell is like rayon mixing with Michelin's.

It's so fucking weird. I smell of Walmart. Yeah, it's so weird. I don't get it. Human gives one star. This is the absolute last Walmart I shop at. Oh, she must have found the best one. So she's never leaving.

She's going to always shop here. This one's wonderful. This one's great. Dirty, disorganized ghetto store that has a palpable feeling of despair that permeates everything. Okay. Despair. Despair.

I have no idea how people can work here. Those who do work here are obviously being paid by the hour because no one hurries regardless of how busy it is. You think that's not how this is on salary? Also, by the hour might work if like someone was doing construction at your house. You're like they're dragging their asses because they're getting paid by the hour. No matter how little work you do, you still leave after eight hours. They don't let you stay in extra 14 hours to milk the clock or anything at Walmart.

Like you have shifts and that's that. Yeah, I got some overtime tonight. Yeah, I'm getting some. Well, I'm slowing down so I can milk a little overtime. I don't think that's how it goes. I would not want to be in the parking lot after dark. There's no security whatsoever other than video cameras that may or may not work. Oh.

Yeah. Well, cameras don't make me feel that better anyway. Just now there's tape of me being murdered. Great. That's that good. or may not work. We don't even know. No.

We're guessing. If you have options, shop elsewhere. You do. There's other stores in every city in the country. Yeah. Sure. Mr. DeWolf, okay, one star. This store is the most poorly

an inept run store I've ever witnessed to my life. I was falsely accused of not scanning a block of Velvita and had to spend over two hours in the security office being humiliated after we had just bought $220 worth of groceries. there. After the camera was reviewed and they re-scanned every item in our cart, they realized they had made a mistake but refused to apologize or acknowledge it despite the camera showing us scanning the velvita and even getting assistance from one of their, quote, associates. And they acted like we were lucky. Tried to let it go as human error. However, yesterday I was asked not to come back to the store by Jessica because I confronted an employee about cutting in front of me in the checkout line. the employee was confronted is a big word too that can mean a lot of things yeah confronted did you shove them did you go excuse me sir yeah um i believe i'm in line or did you

say hey fucking fat ass shit back with boils on your face turn around that's why you work at walmart you fucking moron because you can't ask me how you can't help me by not getting in front of me and self-checkout that's how that's how you fucking piece of shit and then sort of just throwing random racial slurs that weren't even applicable to the person they were talking to, shit like that. You never know. It's probably upsetting anywhere you are when you're next. Like that feeling of next is the fucking best. You're there.

You're like, I'm about to be served wherever I am. It's my turn next. Yeah. It's all. Yeah. Here it comes. An employee. I've waited for this.

I've earned it. Yeah. And then an employee utilizes their, we'll call it. privilege of working there to be able to just climb in there always next. Yeah. It's like at the airport when then a pilot jumps in front. It's like, hey, motherfucker, I got here early. Maybe get here early, dickface.

Maybe add an extra fucking hour and a half to your fucking schedule. Does that upset you? It does. It fucking absolutely does. Oh, I get here two hours early. He probably just parked up by the curb and like somebody pulled it. What do you? The thing's got ballet parking.

He just threw the keys to someone and said, keep it. Yeah, keep it. Yeah, exactly. Like over the top when he got to the airport. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. The kid from over the top. Keep it. Yeah.

You know, my, my, while we were coming back home this past weekend, I had a fantasy of them, like, grabbing my bag to do, like, extra shit with it. And then I, if they did it, I was, I was just going to go, ah, keep it. Just walk. I don't need anything in there. You think anybody's done that yet? I think they probably tackle you if you do that because it means you're going to, you probably have something dangerous in there and they're going to talk to you about it, I think. I have a fantasy of doing that now.

Every time I see that bag, like get to that part where the rollers go the other way. Yeah. Stop there. I go, come on, take it. Take it. No, I'm telling you, you do that, they're going to tackle you, and that would be hilarious. When there's nothing in it, and you go, I just wanted to give you guys stuff. That would be amazing.

I just wanted to give you my dirty underwear. I thought you wanted my dirty underwear and the travel toothpaste tube with maybe one more brushing's worth left in it. And I'm going to take it back home and refill it anyway. And not now. Now it's yours. It's all yours. I thought maybe you'd want that. Okay.

There's something severely wrong with the leadership at this Walmart store. If you want to be falsely accused of shoplifting and have their employees cut in front of you at the checkout line, then there's your store. Okay. Evidently, you just stand there online. Every time you're next, another employee. My turn. Yay. There he is.

I'll gladly take my business elsewhere to a real American company who appreciates my business. What is that? I don't know which one that is, but you sound like no one would want your business because you're kind of an asshole. We'll do one more and then we'll move on. Okay. John, one star. It's John Doe also. Very prominent person, as we all know.

One star. This place reminds me of one gigantic crack house. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, that's Walmart. If you're white, just go elsewhere because you aren't getting decent customer service. Why? I don't think.

Is this the only place on earth that that doesn't apply? Yeah. He's like, fucking, I think if you go to Walmart, don't expect decent customer service. I don't think the colors are relevant at Walmart. It's just all terrible. It doesn't matter there. You're all pieces of shit. Yeah.

We all suck. As soon as we smell that fucking Walmart air, we know we're in the wrong place. And we're going to deal with it. We've done wrong, but we want to... We deserve this. We deserve it. We do. But we want to buy, you know, two boxes of cereal for $4 is why we're here.

Yeah, I want $89 off the razors that I'm going to buy rather than buying them at the grocery store. So I'll smell it. You'll be paying for past injustices that had nothing to do with you. What? You said, this Walmart store takes reparations, apparently. This is a, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, okay. If you don't believe me, go inside and see for yourself. Employees are rude and don't care about anything. Yeah, that's a Walmart, all of them. If you're in lane, I guess, in line, prepare to, as it says, if you're, if you're you're in loan. So I'm trying to figure out. I think line is what they're going for. Prepare to wait at least 10 minutes for the cashier to finish their personal conversation

with the people in front of you or with another employee. Management is just as bad. Do yourself a favor and go elsewhere. Even if you have to pay a little more, it's worth it to get halfway decent Custinette service. They can't spell customer. Custinette. Okay. You don't like, that's why they put it as John Doe. You don't like black people. So go somewhere else. Stop wandering around in there, calling people Toby. Fuck you. Maybe that's it. Yeah.

All right. I'm starving after all that. I didn't want their subway or there's always a little off there. It didn't smell right. It just doesn't. I can't eat it while I'm smelling those clothes. So let's have a nice sit-down meal. What do you say?

Yeah, we go on the road. We like to have a go out of a nice meal. Let's do it, man. Let's do it, I think. What do you say? Let's go to Jacksonville, Florida, where everyone goes for a nice meal to 10445

Atlantic Boulevard in Jacksonville, Florida to the Denny's. Oh my God, I'll bet my dad ate there. We're going to a Jacksonville Denny's, everybody. Oh, my God. This is going to be good. This is like Waffle House Without the Charm is what this is.

Denny's is just a fucking terrible place. Waffle House, but they require shirts. Yeah. That's the only difference. Okay. Denny's 3.7 stars out of 3,800 reviews, too. This is a bad Denny's, it sounds like. But it is open 24 hours, which some of the Denny's closed now.

It's like, no, you never close, ever. You stay open. You unlock the door. And you sit there. You don't lock it until this business is closed up forever. Until the boards go on the windows. You open those doors. And just stand at the door with a pot of coffee, because that's all you're there for,

Denny's, that's it. Here's MJ, Michael Jordan, fucking going to Denny's. Five stars. My wife and I had breakfast here this morning, and we were very satisfied. The food was great. Kudos to the cook for doing such a great job. My compliments to the chef at Denny's. Wow, our server, Ms. Sandra S. was the best.

She made us feel right at home, placed our order without writing it down, and got it totally right. Oh. It's two people uttering. She got two grand slams correct. Oh, she even remembered the moons over my hammy. I thought I threw her a curveball at that one. Yeah. Wow. Sweet and low. She got it. She got it. She checked on us regularly to make sure that we were okay. All in all, Ms. Sandra, customer service was top notch. And I also want to give her some kudos for doing such an amazing and wonderful job. You just did. Yeah. Also, the atmosphere was amazing. It's a Jacksonville Denny's.

The atmosphere was amazing. You could just feel the energy crackling in the air in there, boy. It was something. The atmosphere. Oh, my Denny's. Like it's Studio 54. It just had a certain thing, you know, an atmosphere.

The Muzak was a perfect volume. It was just perfect. Oh, my God. For me to your Sissudio for the 11th time. Music, just the musac, real calm down studio. No lyrics. It's just, it's just, the music. They just hired a guy to hum it.

It's all it is. It's just cheap karaoke music that's like a beat off or a... Yeah, yeah, yeah, just enough to make it legal. Just enough so they don't get... So it's legal. Yeah, that's all. Just a little off. Yeah.

Like Denny's food is almost food, but it's just a little off. Yeah, just a little off. So they don't get sued for calling it food. Yeah, you can't. Well, it's F-U-D. It's food. But it's not, you know, it's not food-food. Like, you know, if I want to be.

It's a Sudio with two-oh. It's Foo-Foo-Foodio. That's what it is. That's what they call it over there. Foo-Foodio. Ha. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

I just want to hear fucking studio getting. Panning the mouth. It's so funny. You're the terrible version of the studio. We are going to, okay, one thing we will do, we promise you, live show in Phoenix, March 21st, get your damn tickets. It's this week. We will at some point involve studio in that. I guess that's what we'll do.

Maybe we'll play it before we come out. Maybe we'll find a Muzac version of it, but studio will be involved in that show. Be there. Stand up live in Phoenix, by the way. Okay. Atmosphericia is amazing. The restaurant was nice and clean. My wife and I had a great experience, and I wanted to show Denny's some love.

with my review. We'll definitely be back. Well, you'll always be back. It's Denny's. You can't show him some love. Show him some love. Star one or five stars. Christian is an amazing server. From greeting until we left, he was energetic, attentive, and friendly. We will come back to this Denny's again because of his service. All right. And then there's a picture of Christian here. And he looks, he's standing next to the Denny sign with his arms out like Denny's motherfucker. and he has like reindeer horns on. I believe it's the holiday season.

Yeah, he looks very happy, young guy. Christmas at Denny's, yeah. Yeah, he looks very young. Life hasn't broken him yet. He hasn't realized that this is not a good job yet, so he'll get there. Don't worry. Jay, one star, the food was as expected for a Denny's.

Okay, there you go. That's a solid review. The food was as expected for a Denny's. But our cups that our drinks were in, as well as our silverware was filthy and needs a health violation Pronto. That is Denny's, man.

That's Denny's. They're all filthy like that. You're going to eat it with a fork that still has hash browns on it. It says to say, still has a little scrambled egg in between the time. It's still there. It's stuck.

Waitress was rude and snobby. Dirty looks from several other workers. We were also served with half of our food in to-go containers. Okay, when you're eating in. That's weird. And I was 100% sure I felt something slimy and sticky in my country-fried steak. Ugh.

That's syrup. Not a lot of things are slimy and sticky. I can think of a couple. Did you order the stuffed country-fried steak? Because that's maple syrup in there. Well, it's syrup. There could be some semen. We're not sure.

We'll check out. We inject them. It is Denny, so I don't know what's in that mix. Yeah. I was too far gone into chewing to spit it out, so I stopped eating after that. There's no too far into chewing. There is no. No.

I'm already chewing it. Into chewing. No. That I get something funny, and then I just go, ah, swallow hard. I'm going to swallow it. Nope. As soon as you hit that thing, you go, spit it out. That's what your reflex should be.

Out of your mouth to examine the foreign objects that should not be there. That's disgusting. I had put too much effort into already starting to digest this. I've already done it. So I've never heard of anyone saying that before. No. So I stopped eating after that. Never go here, shut this place down.

Don't work customer service jobs if you aren't going to have good service as a worker. Don't make that big career choice. Like everyone here isn't in a transitional. Not a lot of career Denny's employees. You know what I mean? Move around. A few, though. Oh, you know there is.

You know there is. Took us almost 40 minutes to get a check because our waitress was on the phone the entire time. What? On the phone the entire time. I've never seen a server on the phone. That's strange. Maybe texting or I've seen.

Like the landline taking orders to go? I pictured him like a teenager in the 50s, like hurling the cord around their finger as they like sit on the couch going, then he said what? No, he didn't. Really? Oh, my God. He's so cute. That's what I picture. I don't know what's going on here.

Holy shit. All right. Let's get to this. Dana, one star. We ate at this restaurant today. Well, that's a good start. It helps for a review. The service was so unacceptable.

The restaurant had no AC. In Jacksonville? Yikes. When was this review? A year ago. Jacksonville doesn't matter what... No. It's gross. You got to have air conditioning there.

You need air conditioning. And the food was wrong when brought out. The worst part was I saw what I saw in the woman's restroom. Oh boy. What did you see, man? My God. I've never been more interested. Worst part was what I saw in the woman's restroom. In the handicapped stall, the wine bottle was still one quarter full.

I know this was shown to the manager on duty and he left it there. Obviously, you have a waitress with an alcohol problem. And could be the reason for the poor ratings and awful service. And we will never come back. Probably not when eggs cannot even be done right. Grinders down the road has great food and good price and sober waitresses, by the way. You don't know that. The worst thing I saw was in the bathroom.

What was it? A wine bottle that somebody drank. I expected a newborn baby. Someone left in the toilet just had it in there. In Jacksonville? In a Jacksonville Denny's? I expected the worst. Two of them.

One in the sink, too. That's Jacksonville. Not even twins either. No. There's a black one and a Chinese one. And you're like, I don't even know, man. This is fucking crazy. That's what I expect.

Two different race children to be born, simultaneously in a Jacksonville Denny's bathroom. A quarter bottle of wine. That ain't nothing. That's nothing. Leave it alone. She'll be right back. Yeah, she's good.

She works at Denny's. I'd be pounding some wine too. It's a pretty decent way to deal with that job. Yeah. And there's pictures. And you know what the wine is? This is the best part of it of all. Is it a Kendall Jackson?

It's a Woodbridge like fucking Saraboon. It's Sarah, which we know you can get like a gallon of that. shit for like $8. It's fucking wild. That's what Sarah Boone zipped a guy up in a suitcase. Because he drank it

and she was pissed. Yeah, well, she was real. She wanted a batch. She was already hammered. Oh, she was drunk. That was a different night where he drank her woodbridge this night. That wasn't the same night?

Well, it's every night that he would, but she just got more woodbridge. That's how it worked. It was, they had an unlimited supply that night. And there's also a Pacifico bottle in there too. Nice. She's a hammered.

Fear and wine, babe. Beer and wine. Having some fun there. It's funny, too, because there's two pictures. There's a close-up of it in the garbage. And then there's one pulled back so you can see it's in the garbage. Thank you for your evidence photos, but we're good. Here is a, you can tell it's a Pacifico, and now you can see the bin that's in.

It's exactly what it is. See the tile around it? They can't even front now. Okay. Can't say I'm lying. Nope, I'm not lying. Look at me. one star from Joseph went there this evening and found only one server.

Waited 15 minutes at register and then the lady said you can sit anywhere you like. She was just waiting for you to come in and sit down. It's Denny's. They don't care. They need you. Yeah, just come on in. Most tables still had plates on it from previous customers. Waited additional 35 minutes and the older lady server never came to our table but was fighting with the cook screaming back and forth.

Nice. Excellent. Okay. Free show. I'm so happy when I see stuff like that. That's fun. You get breakfast and a show. That's awesome.

I don't even care. Usually got to wait until dinner to get that. All you have to do is push aside a couple of newborns in the bathroom and you're fine. Who cares? Plus, she's drunk. Of course, she's arguing with the cook. What do you want? You got to plunge the embryos out of the toilet.

Well, I mean, everybody knows that in the Denny's, though. That kind of goes with the territory, doesn't it? Shuffle them aside before you piss. You do. It's got a courtesy flush. It's called the Jacksonville courtesy flush. That means get all the, all of the birthing materials out of there.

So you can properly take a piss. That's what that is. There's placentas floating around. There's all sorts of shit in there. It's wild. Chunks of umbilical cord. Um, so bad. Drove 20 minutes to have Denny's.

That's your, Who drives? No. You stop because it's there. That's it. It's close. You don't go, you know what? I'm going destination Denny's today, guys.

Let's get in the car. What do you say? But to no avail, we got up and left starving and settled on Waffle House one block from the Denny's. Same experience. Good job. A little more elevated, if you will. You can get things smothered and covered. I mean, there's all kinds of better options.

I wouldn't call that elevated. though. You can get it much worse for you. That'll be good. But Denny's is the bar, James. It's certainly... Yeah, that's sad. No.

No. No. You get a show with every meal at Waffle House. Waffle House is like less healthy Denny's. Yeah, but we're flexing on it. You know what I mean? We're like, we know this is bad. At Denny's, they pretend that that's not that bad.

Well, you can get a couple of things that aren't that bad at Denny's. Whereas Waffle House is. Like, what do you want a salad? Well, how much gravy you want on it? It's like, it's a salad. I know how much. I said, so I said how much. You want brown with a white.

Yeah. We figured you didn't want it smothered and covered. We figured we just put some on there. So brown or white, asshole. I'm going to Google Waffle House salad. But Waffle House. Nope. Now, the South as itself doesn't have any fucking salad.

We go to decent restaurants and are like, what now? things vegetable and they're like they just shake their head and we're like things that grow from the ground and then you cut them and put them on a plate. They got roots and shit you got yeah they're tough you got to put seeds to start with but eventually you get no okay never mind I guess I'll have

more the mac and cheese they stopped serving they stopped serving it's so funny because they used to serve a side salad but that And they were like, the world has a pandemic happening right now. And they were like, oh, we never want to be healthy again.

No. And they yanked it off the menu. Jesus Christ. The only thing on their menu that has vitamins in it. Yeah. In a awful house, we're proud of dumb. And they were like, fuck that. Fuck that.

We don't want people to build up their immune systems. Oh, God, Jesus. That would mean that we think that that's real that we can't do. Pull it off the menu. We don't want to offend our. customers by having something healthy on there. They'll get real mad and start calling us names. Oh my God.

Burgers, hash browns and steaks, that's what they have. That's the menu. That's it. Their hash browns are good. And I do like the pudding pie, the chocolate pie. That's good. But if you tell them well done hash browns, motherfucker, they burn the shit out of them. Good.

Thank you. But there's, my point is there's nothing soft in the middle. It's just hard all the way through. That's not good. It's like a big potato chip. That's terrific. Yeah, that's a potato cake. You can't over-crisp my hash browns, I got to say. No? It's really hard. I love to have that greasy bit in the center.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's ideal, I think. I'd like it to be about an inch thick. If you burn it, I'll still eat it. I don't care. Yeah, I'll definitely still eat it, but I'll wish that the center was soft. Yeah, I prefer to have a little potato. Just for my teeth's sake, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Something like that. I just like that greasy shit in the middle. It's so good. That's potatoes, yeah. Yeah. It's good. But it's got a fuck load of vegetable oil.

Oil. That's what does it. God knows what's in the lard. I think they're just lard. I picture of the old lard bucket thing and they go, and just put it on the griddle and... Or bacon grease. Either way.

Either way. I figure lard's worse for you. Probably, yeah. We're proud to use lard. But I think they recycle the bacon grease to make the... Homemade lard. Maybe. Amalia, one star.

The waitress Debbie refused my birthday coupon and called me a scammer. You scamming-ass non-birthday, bitch. She was very unpleasant and didn't even look at my email that contained my code. I'm very disappointed that they refused my birthday coupon as I was looking forward to it because I hadn't eaten that day. Oh, Jesus. Oh, you poor thing. Give the lady your fucking birthday. Good Lord.

I want to buy this lady something for a birthday. This is terrible. Wow. Why not? We'll not be recommending to anyone I know. That's for sure. Okay, I guess not. Logan, this is great.

Logan, one star. Waited over an hour. Still no food. Empty promises. Empty promises. He said he'd call me tomorrow. didn't. Empty promises. They told me I could have a table.

They lied. They lied. Cook and waitress fought. Empty glasses. Made Waffle House look like Ruth's Chris in comparison. Oh, come on. Relax. Chill out. Christina one star. I would like to give a less

rating than what I did. But I can't. But our waitress was upstanding and very attentive. Okay. As my family ate, I looked around and noticed the air vents of the restaurant. To my surprise, I saw a very dead, mummified carcass of an animal. What?

Yeah, yeah, a fun animal. That's not on the menu, by the way. Where was it? To what I don't know, I do know that such animal was there for more than a day or two. I reported this to the on-site manager, and she waived my concerns off and didn't really care to talk to me after. I'm unsure if the problem's been taken care of. And there's pictures of the air vent with a fucking furry. Is that animal in it?

There is a furry something inside there. It could be a bat maybe. Oh, my God. I don't know what it is, but there is certainly. Inside the vent. It is, yeah, where it's got like the plate that comes down. It's like stuck in there. It looks like it died in the vent and fell out.

And the AC just blew it to the grate. Yeah. It's certain. And it's like, they have it like where it's got like that plate. over the opening of the different way. So if enough air comes, it's going to shoot it right out of the side on somebody's Grand Slam, which is going to be awesome. She has several pictures of this thing, too.

Can't tell what it is. And what the, what the manager say about it? I can't do anything about it. I just waved off my concern. Just went, nah. They get in sometimes. Timothy, one star here. We've got to finish up with Denny's.

All of above was good. Okay. But I ended up. up in the emergency room and being kept overnight. Oh, no. Yeah, the assistant manager mixed floor cleaner and Fabuloso. What is it? What is it?

I don't know, trigger my reactive airway. My wife had to call 911 in the parking lot. Nobody said, I'm sorry. Made napalm in the Denny's. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The man just said we're not allowed to come to this parking lot, even though she caused this. Again, another a man, the man said not to come here even though she caused it.

The man that took the 911 call? No, the Denny's manager who mixed the floor cleaner and Fabuloso told them to get out of my parking lot with your restricted airway. And they said, we're waiting for an ambulance. You would think she would know how, no chemical safety. Well, yeah, I mean, obviously I figure chemical engineering is a skill of any Denny's manager. They clearly no compounds and what goes together. I'm sure she didn't have a little bit of Fabuloso and not enough to clean the floor and then poured some pine saw in there to top it off. And certainly knew better.

Never, never. Kristen, one star. This is, I think, a horny lady waitress is what she's talking about here. Table was sticky. Missed item on the order and charged us for it. Only refilled the mail's drinks at the table. Well, there you go there, handsome. Just ignoring the women.

Never got a refill on my drink when I tried to ask her several times. Hair was in the hash browns. Sounds like a lot of hair, not a hair. She said hair. There was hair in it. Look, it's got a little afro on this thing. It's scary. The ladies' bathroom has no soap or paper towels.

Poor experience. Yeah, Denny's. You just got Denny's. Don't look at the air vents. Oh, wow. Well, unless you like taxidermy, maybe you can do that. But other than that, I wouldn't do that. Okay, Courtney, one star.

A roach was attempting to crawl onto our plates from the window seal. Well, of course, my appetite is ruined, but I didn't even eat one bite of my eggs and told the waitress, I can't eat it now. She was upset because I didn't want to pay for the meal that I didn't or couldn't eat. She avoided coming to solve the problem until I literally had to yell to her to come over to the table because I wanted to be discreet and not let everyone know they had roaches.

but the lady wouldn't come back to our table. Do you care if you're discreet or not? I wouldn't do that. Roaches. Go get them. Fuck that. Oh, my God. Okay, this person.

Okay, here we go. One star. Waited almost an hour for the food to come out cold. There's a cigarette butt on the inside of the door when you walk in. So I was stuck to someone's shoe. Yeah. They walked it in. Stuck to a shoe.

They're using what I can only assume. to be a dogged out weed eater mower to run their blender because it sounds like I was getting yelled at by a chain smoking robot from the kitchen. Okay. All right. The AC didn't work in our restaurant, so it looked like I just hopped out of a pool hobbling out of this restaurant. The drink machine was out of carbonation. This place is barely an operational denies. If it doesn't have carbonation, you don't have soda.

You just say, no, we have water right now. If you have no bubbles or air conditioning, you don't have a dentist. No, that's not a place. You got nothing. I'm not coming in there. The urinal was more pubic hair than toilet. It was made out of pubic hair. Jacksonville is just a nest of, just everybody's got 70s bush.

Oh, huge down there. Wow. It's very, very popular. To the point where I thought I may have been peeing on a wall-mounted bear. Okay. Calm down. the server was a nice lady and I'm sure she had no control over the food

coming out of the kitchen plus she was drunk so she was in a good mood well now that I've escaped that place I'm going to get a tetanus shot for good measure look for me in the obituaries under died of dysentery and you think you're a comedian

this fucking guy that's annoying let's see no no I don't want you you're too much okay yeah one last one at Walmart here okay Michael one star I never write bad reviews but my experience was absolutely terrible

The silverware was filthy, so filthy that we had to ask for plastic. Oh, come on. It only gets worse. As we were eating a cockroach. Now, there's no comma. So the sentence says, as we were eating a cockroach. So I assume a comma goes there. Yeah.

The small ones, which are the filthy ones, crawls on the wall into the crack of the booth. The elderly woman behind us was disgusted as we were. I went to the manager, as did the woman. and by the time the cockroach was crawling on our booth, I was sitting. Imagine right out of the top of your head knowing the gross roach. How do you... It's the dirty ones. Not the nice ones that you see.

They keep his pets. The really clean ones that come to your house and wash the dishes. They're all disgusting. They're not going to your door and go shovel your driveway, ma'am. They're real nice, those ones. Oh, my. The manager comes out, picks up the cockroach, and goes, to walk off. Picked it up like their dog got away. Oh, my bad.

Come here, Fluffy. God damn it. I told you to stay in the kitchen. Shit. The woman said she refused to pay as we did, as did we, since we had already had bad service. The manager did not even stop to talk to us when the roach was in our booth in the first place. Our waitress told us to go ahead and leave and she would handle the check with the manager. Whoa. Okay. I'm adding a picture of the roach and then there's no picture of the roach. So I don't know. Okay. Now, we've done. We've done. done two very distinctly American things.

Walmart and Denny's. We've lowered our standards for that. Now we're going to do another American staple except nowhere near America. We're going to go to a 7-Eleven in Japan. They have them in Japan? I was surprised too. In Yokohama. What could they possibly have there?

We're going to Yokohama, Japan, opened 24 hours to go to the 7-Eleven, which has 2.9 stars. That's got to be horrible, right? That's horrible. Or it's not out of three, right? Or it's Japan and they have much higher standards is what I think is possible. I think that's definitely possible. Here's five stars from God knows what the fuck those characters mean. I have no idea.

One looks like a Jesus fish with a line through it. I don't know what the hell's going on here. Four stars. I went there during the day and the staff were just average. It's 7-Eleven. They're like, I expect more out of these people. It felt like things were a little crammed in, but that was just my imagination question mark.

In other words, is the selection good? I don't know. You went there. You tell me if the selection's good. Tell us. I don't want to have to go to Yokohama to let you know if they have all the hubba-bubba that should be there.

I'm not sure. Onward, four stars. The staff are very friendly. and the regulars all seem to talk to each other. 7-11 is different over there, man. No, shit. Sounds like a neighborhood bar. Yeah, like there are cheers over here.

Yeah. Here's another heavily Japanese charactered name. Four stars. The copy machine is right there. So it's easy to see. That's the whole review. Was that translated from Japanese? Oh, of course.

Yeah, see original Japanese. I wonder if it is. Even if Google even got that right. I mean, I assume Google knows Japanese. It's not like it's a... That's a crazy... Not a real under-the-radar language. I've been speaking in a while over there.

That's a wild statement. Copy machine is right there, so it's easy to see. I guess they went in to make a copy and we're thrilled with the accessibility of the copy machine. Four stars, not five. That would be different. Here's three stars from Japanese name. The store staff are all prioritized. prioritizing stocking the shelves.

Especially since the renovation, the store is cramped and difficult to shop in. And yet, even when I try to look at the products, the staff won't move out of the way. Conversely, when I'm looking at the products, the staff will come stalking me with large cardboard boxes and tell me to move. The aisles are narrow, so I can't shop leisurely. It sounds like how I picture Japan everywhere. what they just described. Tight. People saying move out of the way.

You don't know what's going on. There's boxes, places, and just fast-moving Japanese people. Apparently a lot here. There's employees coming in and out. Staff will come stalking me with large boxes. Okay. I'd consider, I wish they'd consider the flow of people a little more. The store manager is really nice,

but the part-time and casual staff are disappointing, which can be unpleasant at times. Yeah, they're very polite, right? They use... Yeah, Japan is... They'll kick you right out if you're rude, I think. I mean, their reviews are very nice. They say that they...

Oh, yeah. It's elegant and they say it the right way. They're all very educated, too. God, we're so dumb. I was going to say, unlike America, people who go to Denny's could have dropped out in the fourth grade. We have no idea. Somebody who's at Walmart, we have no clue.

These people are actually, like, educated. It's totally different scenario. As we were eating the cockroach. Yeah, yeah. Three stars. Fried Food. are always available. The road is narrow so you can't park your car for long.

Oh. Okay. That sounds like it's code for something, right? We need to, hey, where's those guys from World War II that figured this out? We need to figure out what this goddamn code is. I don't know what it is. Yeah, who are there, are they? Two stars.

The quality of the store clerks can vary greatly. Some clerks are very polite, but they are also foreign women who treat the products you purchase very roughly, which, I really hate. You know how those foreign women are. They make no bones about it in Japanese. If you're foreign, they're like, foreign, foreign, like they don't give a fuck.

We're on an island. And slap our shit around. Slapping our shit around. The latter are always in the store, and I feel uncomfortable every time I meet them. Why? Is there foreigners? Calm down.

These products are what you pay your salary. So please treat them with a bit more care. Spending all my money here, God damn it. two stars, I was surprised to be told off when I was just browsing for a bit. I wonder if told off as the same meaning in Japan that does here. I'm not positive. I was planning to buy the magazine and read it thoroughly if there was an article that caught my eye. So he was reading the magazine to see if there was something worth reading to buy it, which is really what the covers for.

That's it tells you what's in there and then you go all buy that. Yeah, it tells you all the best stuff in there, all the things that are the reasons to buy it. If you want to buy it, if you want to read it, that's when you go buy it to read it. Otherwise, it's just articles or advertisements for things like camel cigarettes and shit. Yeah, just a bunch of Joe Campbell sitting there. Okay. And I was also thinking of buying other magazines, but I will avoid this store from now on. How many magazines were you considering buying?

Not a lot, right? Not a lot. You weren't going to buy that many magazines, you fucking liar. I don't believe you at all. Okay. One more, and then we'll leave it there, and we'll pick up on Japanese 7-Eleven next week here. This is great. Naoki, that's a name at least that I can read.

That's good. Naoki, one star. I went there late at night. Period. End of paragraph. Next paragraph. The man working the night shift was smoking a cigarette outside. on the street while still in his uniform.

Oh. You should see here. People, like, fuck each other behind a, people fuck each other behind a dumpster with their 7-Eleven shirts here. That's nothing. Yeah. People wipe jizz from the corner of their mouth with the sleeve of the shirt. And then go, is that anything else? That's at the counter.

That's not even before they get there. Do you want to get another one of these? They're two for five. They're two for five. They're two for five. You get one. Go on back there. I'll get another one.

I'll hold up the line. Hold on a minute. Yeah, they will too. Okay. When a customer entered the store, he threw his cigarette into a manhole and went inside the register. Wow. He must be small.

The people are smaller there. I will say that. He went inside the register. He must be very tiny. Also, great shot throwing it into the manhole. They've got a very small hole on them. Yeah. It's very small.

The manholes there. You don't have to be as big. Our manholes very wide. for our men to be able to fit down them. The cover just has that little hole in it. Oh, wow. To take it off. If you can flick a cigarette into that, I'll give you $100.

That's pretty impressive. I figured they were just smaller because they're smaller people. Actual, man. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why. This might have been acceptable in the Showa era, S-H-O-W-A, but in this day and age, not today. smoking a cigarette on the street while still in his uniform and throwing it into a manhole is unacceptable. Okay.

In America... There could be a man down there. Yeah, maybe he wants a cigarette. In America, the guy would knock the cherry off, put the half-smoke cigarette behind his ear and go inside and check you out. And then wipe the gist from his mouth and then come back out and finish a cigarette. With the sleeve of his 711 shirt. Absolutely. Of his 711 bowling.

shirt. I wonder what kind of training the manager gives his staff. Is it enough if the shift is, is it enough if the shift is filled? Yes. That's your answer. It's enough if the shift is filled. That's what they're going for. That's the idea. Yeah. That's the idea. So there you go. There's 7-Eleven. We have more from Japanese 7-Eleven. They're talking about rice balls at one point, which I'm like, they have rice balls at Japanese 7-Eleven. Fucking awesome. I don't even know what that is, but all right. Rice balls? They're maybe good. So, yeah, there we go. We have that. We're going to leave it there. So we've done some very American things, including one of them in Japan.

Yeah. Apparently, they have very different standards for over there. So they'd be so disappointed if they came to Jacksonville and tried that shit. So thank you so much for checking it out. You know, avoid Denny's in general. Watch out, yeah. Watch out. Unless the cook and the waitress are fighting, then stay for the show. It's good shit. And expect more from your Japanese 7-Eleven experience.

We all know that. And expect less from every Walmart experience. Anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere. That said, hang out with us. Come see our live show on March 21st this weekend coming up here in Phoenix at StandUp Live. We can't wait for it.

Saturday night. Get your tickets. There's still a couple left. So get in there and do that. Shut up and give me murder.com. Get your merchandise. Get all your shit and come back and keep hanging out with us and listen to our other two shows, crime and sports and small town murder.

And we'll see you next week, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. See you then. Bye.