Your Transformation Station - 103. Focus on Self Podcast with Favazza

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Focus on "Self" with "Relationship changes", life can come at us faster than we are prepared for. We can get caught up in (getting that house, that job), that approval of our peers, and forget to focus on who and what is right in front of us. This is something close to me, that has "shifted my perspective."   PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

But I feel like if we could have that display, we could establish that culture, not just in organizations, not just in households, but as a giant fucking community. Just as the norm. That is the way of living is being like this. Not lying. Not making excuses because you have fucking problems. Because you can't help yourself. Or avoiding it, or running from it. You know who.

Is your transformation station. And now your host, Greg Favaza. Hey, everyone. This course is Greg Favaza as myself, like every other day. However, today's different tonight. I'm looking at my life and we all come into situations and how we handle those situations is how that can change the trajectory of how our life will end up. And I know that's really difficult for people to understand and to really apply it to their life. So I want to use myself as the example to help people understand.

For myself, I've experienced a, I can even think of the word that would describe the situation on how I feel inside. But what did happen was when you have that person in your life that matters a lot to you and you think everything is great until one day they disappear. They don't come back. None by death, but just leaving. And then the police show up to your door about child welfare. And the individual that was gone let them know, called the police. And I'm shocked. I'm not surprised because it was a family battle between her family.

trying to get back at her because her sister did that a couple of times to us. However, I didn't let that bother me, but she didn't come back. So I worried. I thought maybe something had happened. I mean, when you know, when you're just deprived of sleep with a seven-month-year-old and trying to start a business and trying to establish something as a team, it really can take a toll on you. The next day, I was worried.

So I go into the police department to file a missing person report. Did the best that I could with the information that I had. I was supposed to go back to my place to fill it out because I had my unborn son with me. and I needed to get information on her daughter as well as her. And he shows up at my place and he said he found her. And I, just the energy inside me was like, I hope everything's okay. She was fine.

But she left and didn't want to come back and then called the police. to try to get my son taken away. And I didn't understand. It didn't matter how to look at this situation right now as far as I just want to paint the context. And this is the situation is when you look at somebody and you can tell inside your gut that something's not right. when their actions say the complete opposite of what their words say. But then you get emotionally caught up and you're invested into them. Because for me, I want to help people.

I want to live true to my word. I want to embrace my vulnerabilities as I'm here trying to embrace this on Facebook live. With only one person watching. It doesn't bother me. This is for me. But doing this and illustrating this, this is what real authenticity is. Because nobody ever showed that to me.

And that's what I could tell something was off. I didn't want to believe it, though. I want to, I just, I would reason. And I would always try to see their side because that's what you have to do as someone who's in a leadership position, you have to look at the other person's side. If you're not getting across,

then that's shame on me. I've been doing that for a long time. To a certain point, you can't be wrong all the time. I wouldn't have survived this long as a human being if I was wrong about everything. It's okay, but that's my dog in the background. She's having puppy nightmares.

It's okay, baby. She didn't come back. She left, like, the way she did it, too. Just like everything was fine. She hid it. And I know she's been hiding a lot of things. She's lied to me so many times. And I forgave.

We try to get to the bottom of it, and I looked at it. And I forgave. because I wasn't given those chances. I wasn't given those chances and that's what I wanted. I wanted to give her the same thing that I've always wanted. And it was just to be heard. And then when you're wrong, to help you understand. And then even to weigh out my biases and to weigh out the rationalization.

and then to even double check or triple check to see if I'm projecting. And then when all that is done to see if my perception is clear, it took a long time to go through that when you're emotionally invested with somebody. And that is the most difficult thing. And we can call it that Bowling Frog analogy. I've used that quite a bit. I need another term for that. But she just, it hurts a lot because I've put so much into that person.

And then they up and go like you're just a transaction. And I feel like that's difficult in the business world for entrepreneurs when they're trying to monetize. when they're trying to grow, when they have a great product that's worth more than people realize, like this podcast, I don't get a lot of feedback and that pisses me off more than anything. The research, the interviews, the authenticity that I bring to the table, It goes beyond more than free. That's commitment. That's time.

That's my livelihood. This is a legacy that I'm building for my family. And it's not even worth a donation from someone. When I've asked numerous times, that's the emotional aspect of it. I know that's not the right way to think. But it just angers me a lot. Just the feedback that I want. Hey, Greg, you're doing a great job.

That's what we got to in society where it's expected. You deserve this content. The problem is there's certain types of people like myself where I wasn't able. I'm not able to comprehend that fine line. But when I put my heart into something, it's really difficult to keep doing it when you're not getting the feedback. just like it is with a relationship. However, I had a lot of trauma. I can do it.

I've been doing the show for two years. I've been in that relationship with that individual for a year and a half. And I felt like, feel like that I've had much longer of a time frame with her than what it actually is. and I'm sure people can relate to that based off experiences that you go through that are just not normal. At this point, to be 30 years old, March correction, 31 years old, March 11th, that's still, I still have the military that keeps coming out and I got out like in active duty, 2018, National Guard doesn't really count. 2019 and it's still there's certain parts that just it's automatic. I'm about to be 31 years old. Single father, I don't really have a lot of support in my life.

I base everything off intuition, off my gut, and off the education. And then the people that are in my life, I take their opinions to heart, like I take my work to heart. I don't really know what to do when you don't have anybody to talk to. I just want to make the right decision for my son. I want to be the support system. I want to be the father that I never received. I want to be all of that. So I don't have to.

So he doesn't have to repeat generational history. I can learn how to be a loving father. Because it's quite difficult when you don't really receive that from anybody in your social upbringing. Most likely, this recording would just get swept underneath the radar. I don't really care. What I do care is these little things that I face inside myself, like being vulnerable, this vulnerable. I don't know what the outcome is. Oh, this individual's got a shit ton of problems.

We all got fucking problems. Nobody's talking about him. How is how we supposed to trust an individual who's going to monetize something if he's mentally unstable because of his system structure. I don't know. But here I am completely rock bottom again. just in a different way. And I'm still seeking the best option to be a better man, a provider, a learner, and a better way to deliver content to the people that listen to that podcast, your transformation station. But as of 31 years old, I have to make a decision.

What do I do? I should have monetized. I was ranked. Right now I'm ranked 2.5. I'm in the top 2.5% on a global scale for top podcast. I've moved my show around so many times that I have no clue. Not a damn clue to who's listening. I appeared in Apple top 200.

And Australia and Vietnam. and United States and business news, all business news and how to in Vietnam and Canada. And I cannot get a fucking accurate reading to understand who or what's the number so I could bring it to a sponsor. So I can provide. That's how a father should do. There's a part of me that makes me feel weak. But then there's another part of me that makes me feel stronger. What I'm right here.

Illustrating this feeling inside because I don't really know. I never learned. I've always held it in inside my entire life. I just want to know what I should do and not get caught up in the suck cause fallacy. And pull my head out of my ass, foul suit. I don't want to. It's impossible. ever since I got out of the military,

I just see things on a different way. And that probably makes me an asshole, but it doesn't. Because I just don't want to kiss anybody's ass. I just want to tell you what I see, and it comes off direct. And it's not a custom in today's society. Not yet, at least.

It will be. because everything I've done, I'm always a year to two years ahead of the rest of society. I've noticed that. And then the problem is when you're doing it for so long, you start to doubt yourself because you're ahead. That may be you're wrong. And by the time you step out and you start doing something else, then everybody has caught up. And then you wish you would have stayed, but now you're on something else. It's just a repeated cycle.

I don't know if anybody experiences that. What I want to see inside the organization, any organization, just somebody who's in charge. Also, parents, as a father's, for fathers. I want to see an individual like this in every household. Somebody who's willing to rip open everything and show all their true colors inside, their feelings, what they're upset about, what they're happy about. What's the most important thing that their child should know more than anything, even if it goes against the family. values because the outcome is for the betterment of the individual that you're trying to inspire

and that may go against your own system that you've created because the systems that we've created are no longer relevant because we're constantly adapting and learning and you have to be able to see that I know corporate leadership can't see shit Because they're taking data. That's fucking, that's wrong. And you can learn about that on a couple of shows from now. From an episode that I re-recorded with Terry. That's another moment from now.

But I feel like if we could have that display, we could establish that culture, not just in organizations, not just in households, but as a giant fucking community. community just as the norm. That is the way of living is being like this. Not lying. Not making excuses because you have fucking problems.

Because you can't help yourself or avoiding it or running from it. You know who. That's what I want. I know I can't be that only person. I just want to see that that disqualification. that display. And the only way somebody can truly hone it is by seeing it in real time through my experiences. And this is what it is.

So what am I going to do right now? Well, I had nobody to talk to. I reached out to two other people. I looked at my contact list. I haven't talked to people from the military in a long time. And there's a brotherhood there that we should be able to reach out. to the people that we've connected with. However, I feel this disconnect inside.

Like they don't want to talk to me. They have their own lives. They don't really care. Or they might pretend to care, but not really. So I don't reach out. Then I can journal about my problems. Yeah, that's great. But it doesn't get it out inside because you have to fucking purge it.

And that's what I'm doing right now. You have to let it out. out and letting it out, it takes a whole new level vulnerability to be able to look at it without being biased, without projecting, without blaming the other individual and just being objective. Because it's not about the individual anymore. It's about what really matters most. And that's my son, my dog, and my success, all of our success. What am I going to do for? from here. Well, I need to heal. Healing comes in time. And I feel like staying busy is the right answer but also the wrong answer because when I'm staying busy, I feel like I'm avoiding it.

However, when I'm staying busy, I don't slow down and then lose this momentum that I've created and then not staying busy, just feeling it out, letting it happen. So I'm going to retract my statement and look at staying busy, but busy on the right things, busy on what's going to allow me to pivot to my next direction. So if I were to look at my timeline, right now I have two more, maybe four total, then I'll get my bachelor's degree.

Now, granted, I just, every time I say bachelor's, and like I'm about to be 31, I feel like I'm behind the curve. Granted, like, I did get my associate's degree already. And I was in the military for five and a half years. And then I was in, I want to say, five different universities, different, like, places that, yeah. I'm churching it up. It was community colleges.

But I was in five different ones where I moved around a lot. And so I would go there. So I got a different, I experienced a lot of different dynamics. But, yeah. Anyways, with that, I don't know where I wanted to go. I wanted to do coaching. I wanted to do like consultations. Is that the right now?

Like a strategy, God, it starts with the scene. I can't even think of it right now because my mind is, well, you know. But it just, I'm feeling a lot of weights coming off as I'm talking this out, even though it feels like it's just myself or the person right there on the other end. You guys, but it's helping. This is how it happens. This is how you heal. it has to happen this way.

You can't hold it in. I tried holding it in. You wouldn't know what happens when you hold it in? I know you guys haven't experienced this. I know it's very unique. I've held in my entire trauma, my entire childhood of trauma, which you only know a quarter

if you listen to all the shows, which is pretty fucked up. There's no other explanation. it's extremely fucked up. But then on top of that, experiencing all of that and then going into the military, now I had a unique strength than I never thought to identify as a strength.

I thought it was an admiral, abnormality. There we go. Took a second an abnormality of dissociating in high stress environments and be able to focus on the task, automatically reacting. If anybody knew my, if you guys knew me in the military time, I was one of the best soldiers. You could always rely on me. I set the standard and I have the shit to prove it to back.

it up. But that's another time to go into that will take forever. But all of that trauma built top, it finally came out all at once. And it happened to be on a training exercise. I switched medication that was supposed to help my depression. And it had, I don't recall nor would I even share that information, but the medication that I switched to, it, it was, it was really good, but it was horrible. It was, it was horrible, but it was really good because it was the person that I always wanted to be inside, inside an authoritarian hierarchy. I wanted to be one of those higher-up individuals in control because I felt like I have the knowledge to share.

Well, this medication, it shut down every guard, everything that I built up inside of me that would hold in all of these emotions. everything. I never let it out once with anybody. And it just, it started flooding out. I felt anger more than anything on every face that I came across. Nothing but pure hatred. I lost control myself. However, people higher up saw that as,

that's a real leader. No, it's not a real leader. It's a fucking dick. I was the biggest dick. It just, like what I was doing, it disgust me. But I didn't know how to handle what was coming out and didn't understand that that was coming out. By the time it was already too late that people were concerned. And I wanted to hurt everyone.

And luckily I had an individual who was able to help me come to reality that that wasn't me. And I was able to get back on a different type of depression medication. Well, the same type, the one that was helping before and get the fuck off what I was on. And ever since then, it just, I couldn't stop it from coming out, these emotions from the history. I've learned the best way and time and experience just to let it come and feel it and take as long as you need to until it's finally done.

That's it. For right now, I really don't have anything else to say because I do feel better at the moment. It's going to take time. I have an understanding with what I want to do at this point forward, whether I continue this show, or I draw it to an end because now I'm sorry for everyone that has listened and has enjoyed the show.

And I appreciate it. And if you guys really have enjoyed the show, like honestly, found something good. You can leave a review, donate for my effort. If not, I'm going to change trajectories and alter the course. towards something else. It's no matter what. Being a father is number one now. Thank you, George.

I appreciate that. It's a lot. But you guys, take care and I'll let everybody know when I make my decision. You've been listening to your transformation station, your voice on the hard truths of leadership. We hope you've enjoyed the show.

We hope you've gotten some useful and practical information. Make sure to like, rate, and review. the show. Remember, your transformation station is on all major platforms, including Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube, and visit the website till next time. LifeLock, how can I help? The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't. One in four taxpaying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud. What do I do? My refund, though. I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this. LifeLock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

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