Your Transformation Station - 107. Knowing Depths

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

Explore the resilience of the human spirit in a compelling episode ON Purpose featuring Terry McMullen and Gregory Favazza on 'What's The Value Podcast.' Delve into Favazza's journey through PTSD, childhood traumas, loss of home, identity, and family. Uncover the challenges faced by veterans, echoing the struggle of rediscovery. Join us for an impactful conversation on overcoming adversity and finding strength within. Tune in for a powerful exploration of coping, healing, and acceptance."  https://babyboomer.org/shows/whats-the-value/character-greg-favazza/ PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Beautiful. So now we can look at from an organizational standpoint. If we were to go all the way up that hierarchy to an individual that has that kind of power, there would be a mediator that is there in his decision making. And maybe in a business and ethics consultant that you would look to when you think you're in the right position because you do need governance in your decision making. Now, with that in mind, there is a tri-f factor that you have to keep in mind when making this critical decision making. You need to have, of course, the legality standpoint, and you also need the ethics standpoint. But then with those on each side, the very bottom part, which would be an upside down triangle, would be your own values, your beliefs, your morals, which brings this thing together. And that is what's supposed to help you in your decision making and making you think, I know I'm right, because I did all three. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself?

Join your host, Greg Favaza, as your voice on the hard truths of leadership, your transformation station connecting clarity to the cutting edge of leadership. As millennials, we can establish change not only ourselves, but through organizational change, bringing transparency that goes beyond the organization and reflects back into ourselves. Extracting. Extracting. Actionable advice and alternative perspectives that will take you outside of yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. This is your show host, Greg Favaza, and you are on your transformation station.

There's one kind of thread, I think, that ran through this episode with my guest, Greg. It was the transparency kind of candor around how hard it can be to improve ourselves, to learn more about ourselves, frankly, to find happiness. And I personally really enjoyed and appreciated that. Step back for a second. So my guest, Greg, he's an author. He's a podcast host of his own, a podcast called Your Transformation Story. He's a military veteran, worked in the U.S. Army, was an infantryman, and then ran a brigade, more or less, a manager for grade of 4,500 people.

And he's also a student studying organizational behavior and leadership and those types of things. So interesting kind of well-rounded guy. I should also say, as you'll hear in the conversation towards the end, he dealt with some pretty horrible trauma and sexual abuse early in his life from a family member. So a lot of things going on in Greg's life, and he kind of talked through that and how that impacted his life for much of it. And in many ways, that's what makes him an interesting guest to speak on this idea of how do we improve, how do we overcome that type of trauma or any type of trauma, maybe not that extreme, and try and figure out a path to happiness and to a better life, into self-improvement. And as I said, I think the conversation was really interesting. And there was times, and this has happened in other conversations as well, where we found ourselves talking about it and saying and noting how.

like the words we're saying are accurate. They are the right words. They are the right concepts. But at the same time, they don't do it justice, right? The experience of it, actually going through it, feeling it, understanding what it is to actually try and be self-reflective and humble and understand ourselves better, how challenging that really is. So Greg gave a lot of good insights and thoughts around that of how he tries to accomplish that, the things he tries to work towards. We debated some things as we always do around, you know, his core value of character. What does that really mean? Some philosophical questions around the subjectivity of that. Even got into Vladimir Putin a little bit as an example to illustrate or to talk about how

tough it can be to actually like wrap your hands around. What does it mean to exhibit character? So lots of interesting conversations, lots of interesting discussions. But as I say, I think the big takeaway from me for this one was appreciating Greg's candor. And highlighting the fact that, you know, there's no lack of information out there, right? The things we're saying you can go on Google, you can search self-improvement or ways to find happiness. And there's thousands, maybe millions of inputs out there on that. And a lot of them, or at least a good bit of them, are legitimate. They have some good advice.

But it's that daily, lifelong grind and struggle of trying to work against some aspects of our own minds. Some of it that's just evolutionary embedded in us. some of it that's rooted in trauma and experiences we've had in our younger lives, trying to overcome those things to find happiness can be truly challenging. But at the same time, as overwhelming as that might seem, it is likely the only path to get there. So with that, big thanks to Greg for being on the show and sharing so much of his story and his experiences and his insights.

And we'll get to the episode. All right, Greg, thanks so much for being on. I really appreciate having you. And I will get right to it with the question of what's the value that's most important to you. Beautiful. Value that's most important to me. See, that is so difficult to really go into,

and I don't want to monologue either. And if I do, please slot me in the face metaphorically. With value, it really comes down to how I look at myself inside and what really runs deep from within. And that just comes down to character. You can see that in someone. you can sense that. It's intuition. You can just pick up and know. And that's what allows me to realign myself when I know my character's in the right place. And I can tell when I'm

communicating with other people if their heads are the right place. And if they're a good person, if they're not a good person, it's the most important thing. So I like that answer. And I think it speaks to, you know, hopefully what I'm trying to do with the show. Because I think, as you laying it out, I think that's why I think values are so important. So I may ask just like a level deeper beneath that. When you say like the character's aligned, somebody's a good person, what makes that up? Like what are the things you're looking at? What are kind of the tangible things you would point to about kind of their internal makeup and character? Maybe it's about their actions. Maybe it's their beliefs. But how are you how are you assessing that? Beautiful. So it's it comes down to ethics. I mean, what are their ethics, their morals? Where is their compass aligned with?

And now when you say what distinguishes a good person, I mean, that really comes down to how they act under pressure. When they're in the moment, what do they naturally fall back on? That's when you can tell. Like when you look at someone, like if you see like there's a fire across the street and somebody screaming for help, I'm going to go fucking run in there. Not because I want the attention or not because I don't give a fuck about my life. But the fact is there's somebody that needs help. I'm the individual that's going to react and just do it. Yeah, I like that.

I like that because I think you're right. I think there's like a certain lens or maybe a lens that's removed when times are tough, when the pressure's on. There's a saying I say to my son all the time. It's kind of a stupid one, but it works for me. Like it's easy when it's easy, but it's hard when it's hard. And the idea I try and tell them there is like, hey, it's easy to be a good kid, to be good to your mom, to do your chores when everything's going great.

Right? you got no homework. It's the weekend. You're feeling good. But what about when it's hard? What about when you're stressed? Can you still be nice to your mom then? Can you still, you know, clean up your room then? That's when it really matters. And I think you're speaking to that, which I think is, I think there's a lot to that. How do you, so, so this show can get a little philosophical at times. And I think you're touching on something that's an important philosophical discussion. So the idea of like, hey, if somebody needs help, you do it. I think for a lot of people conceptually, they hear that and they say, yeah, that is the right way to do it. But particularly in

today's world, my belief, I'm curious yours, but is that there's a lot of people that think they're doing that, right? They're acting in certain ways. And in their mind, they've convinced themselves that they're helping people. They're doing it for a good reason. But maybe some of us would be like, that's not it, man. Like, that's hurting. That's making shit worse. How do you, there's subjectivity there of like, what's helping somebody and when does somebody actually need help and what action you should take to help them? Like the fire example may be more straightforward, but when it gets a little trickier, how do you think about that? That's a beautiful question. And really, I'm thinking about this as we're talking about it.

It really comes down to what was taught to them in the very beginning. Their social upbringing. Now, does that go in line with these values that they developed in time with what's beneficial for me? What's beneficial for them? Is it self-gratifying that the action that they're doing? and if somebody does need help and you give them help, that's great. But the long goal here is to make an impact in somebody's life. Now, it's a difficult way how you put this.

I really want to hit this. It's on the tip of my tongue. It's on the tip of my tongue. I'm going to get it here. Like looking at it from our own view, damn like this is really good i would have it like hold on i know i can get this yeah yeah take it it's uh i was going to throw an example at you too but go ahead if you got if you if you're good don't give me the example get so let's make it real in today's world right this is somewhat

it's very relevant it's maybe controversial provocative but let's explore it let's see and i'm i'm not i'm not claiming this but let's take put putin to it right now in russia right regardless of what you sit or how you think about it from what i'm reading and seeing, it seems as if, and who knows what's going on in his mind, but it seems as if he thinks he's helping people. He thinks there's a problem in Ukraine, whether it be a cultural thing or it's risk to Russia in some way. And in some ways, you can run through the framework of what you said in the beginning. And he says like, shit, like I hit everything Greg said, I'm doing this exactly right. I saw a problem. Times are tough. The whole world's against me. And that

would make it easy for me to back down. But I'm going in there and I'm going to fix this problem because I want to help Russians. I want to do the right thing. And again, some people might look at that and say, yep, I think a lot of people would look at it and say, what are you fucking crazy? Like, that's not how you help people. Like, you're out of your mind. How do you assess that situation? How would you help somebody like that make sense of that? Beautiful. So now we can look at from an organizational standpoint. If we were to go all the way up that hierarchy to an individual that has that kind of power, there would be a mediator that is there in his decision making. and maybe in a business and ethics consultant that you would look to when you think you're in the right position

because you do need governance in your decision making. Now, with that in mind, there is a trifector that you have to keep in mind when making this critical decision making. You need to have, of course, the legality standpoint, and you also need the ethics standpoint. But then with those on each side, the very bottom part, which would be an upside down triangle, would be your own values, your beliefs, your morals, which brings this thing together. And that is what's supposed to help you in your decision making and making you think, I know I'm right because I did all three. So that's interesting. So for you, when you're thinking about somebody with character, it's not all just internal. There's almost a realization in it that, yes, I have my values.

I have my beliefs and hopefully I've thought through them. I've pressure tested them. But that's still not enough. I need to look at the other aspects of this, the external kind of ethical view of it, the legal view of it. And maybe sometimes you don't hit all three, I would imagine,

but that check is always there and you're trying, if you're not hitting the legal one, for example, maybe we go back to the times of slavery. Somebody might say like, hey, it's illegal to free a slave, but ethically it's the right thing to do. It ties with my values. So it's making it more holistic.

It's making it, it's giving more change. It's giving you more chances to make sure that it's not just your own ego or your own things running through leading you to a bad decision. Let me also caveat what you said there. I would say it's not that we're not checking one out of the three. I would say one would take precedence over the other one because it's important to you. And that's where the other one just overrides the others, whether if it falls down with slavery, if it comes back to your own morals and principles, you see that.

That's where emotion ties in and it overpowers it or overrules it. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. So what's this look like for you, Greg? Kind of as you, so this is that value of character and kind of living that life in the right way in that regard. How does that play out for you in your life now? How do you kind of live in accordance with that value? Well, I look at it comes down to my own decision making.

I mean, we are the masters of our own destiny. I hate to say that and use it. It's cliche. It's cheesy. and it's garbage, but it is true with all our decision making. We can pre-plan our life and we can live it out accordingly if we just do the work. If we make these goals, we look at, we get past the short-terminism and look long-term, spanning time with the right people, conducting things, and what we believe in is right versus wrong.

We can get to where we want to go, and that's kind of how I look at it. I have to maintain a standard of principles because that's what guides me when I'm uncertain. It's almost there's almost like a functionality to it too. It's like there's certainly a degree of like altruism and you want to do it because it's the right thing to do. But in the same time, it's like this is what works. Like it's just there's an efficiency play there of like this is going to get me where I want to get to in the fastest, most efficient way, it sounds like. Yes, it's very mechanical, but there's always a place where I need to be open. to adapt and to learn if something is better.

If I'm wrong, if I'm biased, if I don't see something that's clearer as day, then I need to reevaluate myself. I have to have that humility where I toss the ego to the side and be open to adapting. That's the hardest part. I was just going to say that. That's the hardest part. So I'm curious for you, like, has that been something since you were a kid? You just lucked out and you've had kind of that ability to see, self-awareness.

or is that something that you've developed over time and kind of went through the struggle? That came through years and years of trauma and isolation in my own thoughts, in my own head, hanging around with the wrong people when I thought I wanted to be with these types of people because they're cool or they have something unique that I want. And I would go to every different type of crowd I can find myself in and just sit there and feel the energy they're given off something unique. I was good and I would take it, whatever it is. And I would take the things that I like and then just toss the things I don't like and put

that into my own self. And that takes a lot of just intuition and a lot of trial and air. Yeah, I like that answer to because, you know, I listen to some of your podcast as well. And I want to get into that a little bit. But I think there's a degree of realness in that. a lot of people, the message they want to give off, or even the message people want to receive, and those things are probably connected as to why they exist that way. But is, like, there's a, there's a rule or there's a principle, just do this and it'll be good, and you'll be good to go.

And I like what you're saying, because you're like, yeah, there are some rules and principles. But the way we're set up as humans, the way the world is, as complex as it is, it's not magic. It's not going to work overnight. It is fucking trial and error. There is going to be more pain. There is going to be more suffering. But if you believe in what you're doing, back to where you started, right? That trifecta. And if you kind of check in those boxes and you keep acting in accordance with that, over the course of a long term, you're going to get to a better place. And I think for a lot of people, that may not be as nice to hear because they're in pain and they want to feel better tomorrow. But at the same time, it's the truth. So it's what needs to be said, right?

Yes. Like, I was given a lot of false hopes. I mean, if you if you go on Google and you type in what's going to make me feel better, you'll get a whole bunch of garbage that will end up taking your money, your time and leave you in a worse place. Listening to this episode right here will give you real authentic responses. I've done those research. I've went through Google so many fucking times to try to heal from the people that have done wrong to me. And the best thing to do is to get your ass outside and experience life by yourself.

Go out there and do something different. Get out of this routine that you're currently in. and open up your mind to something new because that is how we adapt. This is how we interconnect our old learnings to our new learnings. And that's what elevates us. So inevitably, there's going to be some people that listen to this that either agree, disagree, whatever, but don't do it. Like they don't get out.

They don't break their routine. They don't try and shake things up. Maybe zooming out of like a human nature, you know, how we function. Why do you think that is? Why do you think so many people might hear this? They're in pain. They want to feel better. At least it seems like they do unless they're lying to themselves.

Why do you think that's so hard for people? We naturally have the ability to recognize what's happening in front of us. It's a very, it's a primitive instinct that we can pattern recognize to develop a safety net. So we don't have to experience pain and repetition from the same stimulus. Now, with us and what I'm saying is you have to be able to override. that natural feeling that comes up when it says, don't do it, this person is going to cheat on you, or you know you're not going to get the job,

just fucking leave. They're giving it to Terry, so don't even waste your time here. You have to override it and know where you're going and know these very values that you developed, that you are going to be that person that you want to be or you're going to heal from this very thing that you're trying to heal from. If you don't have that, then you don't have the ability to elevate yourself and you'll be

plateaued. Yeah, it's almost too strong a force to overcome. Like if you don't go in, prepped, ready, done your homework, and in some ways ready for battle every day, because that's how I think of it. Like, as you're saying it, right, whether it's a subconscious mind or whatever it is, it's an ongoing thing. It's constantly trying to pull us back into that comfort zone, into that place where it thinks that's where we need to be.

And I think that's what makes it hard for a lot of people too, is there's a sense of like, if I could just get over this hump, then I'll be set. And like certainly it does build and there is like a compounding effect, but you can never let your guard down. Like you constantly have to be working towards, at least what I found for myself, you constantly have to be working towards this.

And I think some people either A, don't realize that or maybe more likely B, they do when they're like, shit, that's scary. Every day? You want me to do that every day? Like, that seems like too much, you know? What you said with letting your guard down, now I would be careful with the language used. You want to be vulnerable. You want to embrace your vulnerabilities as your authentic self.

You want to be okay. If you feel hurt today, you should let that shit out. And if somebody asks you that question, hey, how you feeling? You know, my day was pretty fucking shitty, you know? Like I've been fighting with my significant other and it's been rough and I miss my child. And there's just a lot of shit. But you know what? That's okay because this is normal.

And when you have that feeling inside, knowing that it's normal because the people you're talking with, no, they're probably going through the same shit and you can help them. Then you'll be comfortable with what you're going through and you will naturally make the right choices that will help you overcome this. I like that you brought that up because I have this debate in my head and with other people often. I like everything you said, and I think you're right. I'm glad you clarified that because in many ways, having your guard up is the problem when we feel like we have to be somebody else or be something different. How do you think about the flip of that, though, and like striking that balance? Because let's be honest, right, we're humans.

There's lots, again, I'll just say it this way. I think our minds are inherently flawed just because that's the way they are, right? We're not bad people necessarily. But you could imagine a scenario where if you open the door to people where they feel like, oh, it's all about vulnerability, letting my guard down, being honest. honest. If somebody asked me how I'm feeling, I'm going to tell them, I can see that same subconscious mind exploiting that and being like, oh, it's okay now. And like, I'll just tell everybody like, oh, my day sucked and this was bad and this was bad. So then everybody will take it easy on me. And I'll

have no ambition. And I'll never really question myself to try and improve and get better because it's okay. This is just where I am. And I know that's not what you're saying, but like how do you try and balance that? Beautiful. Thank you. So having that level, just the right level of transparency. Now, that's the biggest issue today in organizations. I mean, if you look at Facebook, they were just open with, hey, we're utilizing these algorithms to manipulate the situation for our own benefit. If you would have known that before it became public, you would feel not as angry, but still pissed off. But the fact is, there has to be a balance, not too much, because then you don't. Then they're, if we look at it for a dating position right here, let me start up on the bottom and work my way up.

It's unattractive. Oh my God. Like she's talking about everything. I'm like, please, just shut the fuck up. But now if they're not talking and they're keeping everything themselves, then I'm not interested. They're not interested in me or there's other things. But having that right balance. Now let's take it up the next level.

You're a manager. You're in charge of a team. that right balance. That is how we can lead our employees, not fucking micromanaging the hell out of them, but not being a laissez-faire leadership style and just sitting on the sideline and let them do all the fucking work and say,

hey, you're doing great, keep it up. But now let's go to the next level. Your corporate leadership, you're at the very top of the hierarchy looking down. That level of decision-making falls back, on this level of transparency. That is what establishes a healthy culture when there is the right amount of information that's being given. I think it goes back to a word you said before to humility. I think that enables a lot of that transparency. When we don't have humility, when our ego gets

too big or we get too confident in that, like, I know the right answer. I'm doing it the right way. It's very easy then to lose that. Because why? Why do I need transparency that? If I know I'm doing it the right way like who cares so I think that humility I think you touched on it before really really important yes yes the humility that plays an emphasis because then it shows people you want to learn and it shows yourself that there is more to learn yeah so I'm curious Greg you know to whatever you're comfortable going back you mentioned before a lot of this the way you got to this place was trial and error but it was rooted in trauma that you had again wherever you want to take it but just curious for people for them to understand what what that mean like how did the trauma play out and how did

that ultimately lead you down this path you know what did that look like yeah so it's it's it's pretty deep it once it starts it doesn't it hasn't stopped it just keeps going and it's just like climbing a stairway like i have yet to get to a flat land and um when i was a child i was sexually abused by my brother and um when i was even at an infant i was tossed and hit the ground like seven months six months my shoulder was broken and um grew up with alcoholic father grew up with a very very catholic mother where if you need a guidance you would get it in a biblical way and um i'm the youngest of seven and everybody kind of just went for their own way just to get away. And here I am just at the very bottom, trying to figure myself out.

And I lost control of my own self. I mean, I've done it all. I mean, I've had over 37 speeding tickets. It's a cry for help. DUI, my best friend that used to live up the street committed suicide because he was lost in his own thing. And I knew that guy for 17 years. I felt like I could have done something if he would have called me, but he didn't. And when I found out, he did when I was working, I should, I should have answered it. But it's all right, you know, because he took his, he took his

life because we thought that was what he needed to do. And I disagreed. And then it just, it keeps going. I was in every relationship I was in. I just kept getting cheated on and screwed over because it came down to me. It came down to not knowing my own belief system, not having something that I can fall back on, that people know that this is what I stand for. And if you try to cross it, it's going to be bad where I'm going to express myself. I just won't allow it to happen.

And it keeps going. We can literally go for another hour. It doesn't even count for the military experience. It doesn't count for any of that yet. Well, let me ask you. Firstly, I appreciate you, Sharon, even that bit of it. Because I think to what we were saying before, I mean, everybody's got their stuff differing levels, obviously,

and yours is extreme. But I think for people to hear it and feel like, again, that realness to it, I think it goes a long way. I'm curious, Greg, like, when you were in the thick of that, at that time before you realized that you didn't have a belief system to fall back on. And you said, right, relationships weren't going well, all that stuff. What was the narrative in your head? Like, what were you telling yourself?

Like, what was it that, like, you just had to figure out a way and find the way to fit in? Was it you weren't thinking at all and you were just kind of going along with life? Like, what was the story in your head at that time before you started to kind of hit some realization? To be honest, I mean, I thought everybody was an asshole. I hated everyone when I was younger. I thought the whole world was just had the wrong mindset where people just wanted to take and never give. I mean, I wore my heart on my sleeve everywhere I went because that's what good thing my mom gave me and taught me how to do.

I think it's a double-edged sword. And what I knew now or what I knew back then and what I know now are, completely different. And what allowed me to overcome that narrative was the military when I first got an understanding of what it meant to have a foundation to fall back on. So to your point before, right, that it's not, nobody could have just told you at that point. Like, hey, Greg, you just need a foundation, man. Like, just get a foundation. Here's a couple quotes. You'll be good. Like, no, no, no. To your point, you had to go out and experience it. You had to be in the military where it said, here's a foundation whether you like it or not. Here is you needing to trust other people whether you like it or not because it's life or death. And only once you experience that, can your mind actually like, oh shit, okay, maybe there is more to this story. Again, if I'm saying it right, that sounds like that's helpful. To a certain point, yes. Like after, because I served for five and a half years and for the first two years, I developed this system, but I didn't understand it. And there's people I didn't even trust when the system told me that,

they would trust me just as much as I trusted them. And that became the most confusing thing ever, which took me into another spiral where it looked back on my childhood, what the fuck? This own like world that I just got induced into started following suit doesn't make any sense until I switched units and I moved from very bottom just a, I was a rifleman infantry company to the very top to a battalion or brigade level which I looked from the top down I was communicating for a powerful individual to 4,500 different people and I start to see the bigger picture yeah it's that perspective change right it's that it's got it's like you said before

you got to get out you got to break that routine and whatever way that is for you right however you do it And I think it's, it's, it's, it's a hard thing. It's as you're saying it, right? Even still, even through that, it sounds like it was still a day bike. It wasn't like one day all of a sudden it magically was like, oh, I get it. It was a slow progression towards it, yeah. It was a very slow progression that it came down to when I, when I moved and then when I transitioned out, it came down to it.

I am in charge of it. It doesn't matter what the people do. if they don't want to live by the system that I thought was the system that we all need to live by, that's on them. But it's all on me. If somebody misunderstands me and thinks of me as a dick, I can look at and say, well, I mean, well, fuck you then. Or what did I do wrong that made them think that? How did I communicate that? Because what you understand and what I'm telling you is it could be completely different.

with the information because there's a lot of emphasis, tonality, virtual versus being in front of each other plays an emphasis because we're not getting on the body language. But it comes down to is what am I doing to make sure that this information is being relayed over to you as most accurately as possible. There's a thread in this, Greg, that we've been touching on. We've hit it a couple times directly of how much work's involved to do that, right? Even that. I said this to somebody. They didn't respond the way I wanted. How did I say it?

I'm going to need to assess that. I need to break it down. There's so many aspects. Just candidly, like, for people listening, is it ever, is there anything? Like, is it ever exhausting? Do you ever feel like, man, this is too much work? Like, to mean, it all makes sense. It's working.

But I don't know if I could sustain this because this takes a lot of mental energy and resource to do it. It's, it's an everyday application. And believe me, I'm a perfectionist when it comes down to tedious shit. But the big. picture it's like damn it why am i not getting to the bigger picture but the tedious things is what's going to lead to the delayed outcome that i'm shooting for you will you will not get it every day and you have to be okay with that i am struggling with it i hate it that i can't get my morning routine in every day i will

beat the shit out of myself but that's not going to help because it's only going to make it worse but i'm aware of that now that's what i'm encouraging is self-awareness curiosity and just attempting to try the things that you know will help you and lead into a new version of you. And what is that for you, Greg? Like you obviously the podcast is a big thing. As you've started to learn and evolve in life and you're pushing to try and get to that place you want to be

through curiosity and all that. What is it you're trying to get to? What would that? I know there's never a finish line really, but what does that next stage look like for you? Right now I'm about to get my bachelor's degree. I have two classes. left. I've been going full-time dad just bought a house, still adapting to the military life.

I hate it. It's a long-term process with the communication style and being a civilian and how you look at the world and how the world looks at you and being okay with that. But from there, getting a job that is actually gratifying as this podcast. I love to interact with people. the thing that will nothing will replace if I look back on is being a sergeant in the army. Having a team below me and looking up to me was the most satisfying thing I could ever experience in my life. Because I was their parent. I was their dietitian, their nutritionist, their workout coach. I was their fucking DUI call.

Like if somebody got in trouble, I was there. Or if they were about to get in trouble, I was fucking there. no matter what time, that it was the most satisfying thing that I could help these people and live a better life just through my own guidance. I wonder if there's not a proxy there, too, not to say it's just simple, but by you being forced to be responsible for all these people, regardless of the circumstance, right? Exactly, you said, if shit goes down, it's on you. You've got to figure it out that's your responsibility.

And then seeing that fulfillment that comes with it, if it didn't help you to do that more internally for yourself too to be like hey i got to treat myself the same way i'm responsible at the end of the day it's on me whatever happens whatever the shit is i got to figure my shit out and get to the better solution and if it didn't help you kind of work towards that internally start externally you're 100% right like with having these people relying on me it made me even push myself further which then rose the standard higher and it was almost like a balancing act of progress where they're just right.

I wanted to stay right above them so I can constantly be the knowledge expert, constantly be the authority so that, one, they're being challenged, but then I'm being challenged to stay one step ahead of them. So as we're getting towards the end here, Greg, I'm going to ask maybe the biggest and harriest of the questions, and we'll see where it goes. But like, to sticking on the point of looking forward, the next stage, what you want to become, what's that all rooted in for you?

you. Is it is what I guess what I'm asking somewhat is the meaning of life question. Like is there a belief that that is, like is it grounded in religion and spirituality that this is kind of the code that we should live by and the way we should live? Is it more just what works for you? What's it ultimately rooted in at the end of the end of the day? What I define my happiness by, what I define success by, all of those things are rooted into the meaning of our own lives and how we look to where we wanted to spend our retirement days. For me, having a house out in the middle of nowhere, away from society, but not too far away, having the things that I want and the people that I want to be around is what I define my own

meaning of happiness. And of course, doing the things that I love to do, which is talk to people, inspire people. I mean, it doesn't really matter about money, but at the same extent, it does play an impact in how we make our choices when we don't have any. Or when we're in a situation where it hasn't came, now you have to take a different route because the very passion that you've always thought would lead somewhere doesn't. And now you're doing something you don't enjoy. There's people out there that are experiencing that. And I was one of those people. I mean, I've been podcasting for almost two and a half years.

I haven't made $1. I've been investing everything internally into this external thing that I believe in. And it's starting to finally come true. It's starting to get noticed. It's just having something inside you that grounds you but still makes you happy. You're going to end up being successful. I think that's another example of one of those things, right? Because that in some ways, and I say this in the positive, what you just said is one of those statements where like everything

you just said is true. And it's right. The words I personally believe are super accurate in articulating that. But at the same time for a lot of people, it's the words, don't do it justice. It's that experience of actually going through, which I know is what you're trying to put out there and push people too. And I think that's an example of it, you know, for people that listening as they hear that, you almost have to feel those words as much as hear them for it to really sink in and work for people. You're right. I mean, with feeling it, I'm a very emotional guy. I learned how to turn it off before the military and during the military, but afterwards, I've harnessed it and finally brought it out again. But feeling those emotions are actually

a good thing. People want to avoid them. People don't want to understand them. I used to work myself to death so I don't have to feel it. I would just go home, go right to sleep and do it again the next day and overcaffeinate myself, find some sort of vice that would help me cope when I am not doing something. That is not the right thing to do, and it will lead you into more pain than you already are or not even aware of. But for people that are, I just want to say this,

for people that are doing those things. If you're over-caffeinating yourself, smoking, stimulating yourself, or maybe even using an abnormal amount of depressants from alcohol or something that is keeping you from avoiding what's actually happening, there's an issue there that you're not aware of. And if you just stop and let it come and purge that fucking shit, then you can start to feel where your life needs to go.

Greg, I think that's an awesome way to end it, man. I think that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I wouldn't even say any more than that. I think that says it all right there in that statement and Greg, I appreciate you being on, um, the work you're doing it. And I would say from just my perspective, as much what you're doing, how you're doing it, right? Approaching it this way of being authentic, being real, sharing your story. And being honest, that it's a grind. There's no quick fix.

There's no magic. You might have made some dollars from this podcast. If you started spending certainty and making people guarantees and do this and you'll be better in this many days. But as you said throughout this whole, like that's not it. Right. That's not what it's about. And I appreciate you for that. So Greg, thanks so much for being on.

I know. Thanks for having me. If you guys want to find out more about my podcast, you can just on any platform of choice, look up your transformation station. Don't forget that your that always gets skipped there. But then you'll find me. I'll put the link in too in the show notes. Beautiful.

All right. Well, thanks, Greg. Have an awesome rest of the day. You too. You've been listening to your transformation station, your voice on the hard truths of leadership. We hope you've enjoyed the show. We hope you've gotten some useful and practical information.

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