Your Transformation Station - 110. Variance of Perceptions

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

Gregory Favazza concentrates transformation on the essential elements of awareness and the content of perception. Our internal perceptions of the outside world and of the "self" make up this part of consciousness, which serves as the foundation for every one of our individual experiences that make up our reality. OUTLINE: The episode's timestamps are shown here. You should be able to jump to that time by clicking the timestamp on certain podcast players. (00:00) - Power of Perception (01:23) - Conflict (01:53 ) - Influence of Perception- culture, race, ethnicity, gender, and everything else  (05:54) - Knowledge is all inclusive  (09:13) - Previous Experiences- safety nets (11:35) - Expand your Understanding Exercise (13:58) - Be a Leader - Deal with all types of conflict PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I mean, I'll say that again. Acknowledge your reality is not everyone else's. You're listening to a podcast that encourages you to embrace your vulnerabilities and authentic self. This is your transformation station, and this is your host, Greg Favaza. All right, hey, everyone. My name is Gregory Favaza, podcast host of Your Transformation Station. But for this talk, I want to talk about

the power of perception and conflict. Why is it important for leaders? Now, with understanding that, I know we've all encountered conflict and what that all entails, but this is not the interpretation of conflict. This is just understanding perception. What you are perceiving and what the other individuals receiving. By the end of this talk, I'm going to give you a little exercise for you to dive deeper on your own time. It's something I've done. It's very helpful with establishing awareness, not only yourself, but in the individual that you may have been struggling to understand. So when we think about conflict, understanding why conflict occurs is essential to efficient leadership. We must understand conflict as where it originates.

In order to do that, it's an act of acknowledging the difference in perception, and that can help you isolate the root cause of conflict. Now, when we look at the factors of what influences perception, There's culture, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, knowledge, whether it's being general or situational, the impressions of the messenger, and previous experiences. So we think about culture. Like, how does that influence your perception or someone else's perception? I mean, what cultural norm, it's in group or out group, whether it's in group, whether it's in group, whether it's societal norms, whether it's organizational norms of what's expected from us, there's varying cultural backgrounds of influences that hold certain beliefs over the social structure of our own world.

It's obvious. But the role of conflict that comes down to, it's a learned value that was instilled upon us from our social upbringing, whether it's a belief system that our parents or siblings or peers or mentors that we looked up to at a time when we came to of their existence on how that employs and impacts our trajectory and our growth and on our life choices and decision making. Now, thus that influences our willingness to engage in various modes of negotiation. and efforts to manage conflict. Now, when I say negotiation, as we develop ourselves through life, however, we decide on what makes sense,

we go out into the world and we negotiate that. We negotiate our values. We negotiate our interpretations of what we agree or disagree. And when we encounter, conflict or we're challenged, we negotiate through those interactions. And that's where culture, race, and ethnicity occurs,

whether it's substantial, procedural, or psychological. Now gender and sexuality, I mean, men and women perceive situations differently that could relate to power and privilege as do race and ethnicity. When we think about gender and social... Correction, when we think about gender and sexuality, socialization patterns reinforce the importance of relationships versus task, substance, process, and intimacy...

as well as long-term outcomes. What I'm saying is men and women often approach conflict situations with different mindsets. Now, I'm not a woman, so I cannot give you 100%... Like, I can't give you 100% on what a woman is focused on, but what I can do is cover the male side

as for the desired outcome of the situation. I mean, this is, probably where I would need a female's perspective to chime in and say something about that. But these are all different factors that approach situation that I can't speak for, which is highlighting. All right. Now, with knowledge, and this is, knowledge is inclusive to general and situational knowledge. When I say general knowledge, it can be an interdisciplinary study where that's a post-secondary education of knowledge. of all concepts to give you a vast understanding about everything, how it connects. That's general knowledge versus situational that could be regurgitated preparation to mastery,

whether, how do I say this? I mean, if you watch a YouTube channel, it teaches you how to play piano, a certain song, and if you get it mastered, does that make you a pianist? Since you spent hours and hours practicing this song over and over till you got it, does that make you one? No. It just makes you have situational knowledge on this specific task. Another way to look at it is you could be an individual who's an advert.

But when it comes to pressure, say there's a burning building and you happen to be a firefighter, but you don't do good at public speaking. But all of a sudden, when that situation occurs, you all of a sudden be this extrovert and know exactly what to do, take charge in a situation and just execute without thinking. It becomes automatic. Now, that information can influence a person willing to engage in efforts to manage. Okay, now the impression of the messenger. Well, let's see. The impression, whether if it's an individual that you perceive as a threat, I mean, when I did undercover security, armed security,

and I would approach everything objectively and always be cautious. So whether that's perceived as a threat, it can be powerful, scary, or unknown, that influences our response to the overall situation being experienced in real time. I mean, if you look at a big scary dude who's like 6'5 and I'm 5'10, it's like, well, his energy's coming off hostile, I'm going to approach with caution. Now, that all varies in a social interaction between you and another person. If the person is calm, you will have the impression that this individual is not allowing their emotions to control this situation. But however that individual is being perceived is how you are going to respond. And however, they're displaying their emotions or not, is how you will look at them whether they lack credibility or have any integrity in their mind.

Now, with previous experiences, I know everybody's heard of this. All previous experiences develop a safety net to protect us from future or potential threats, whether it's a trauma or something with dating or previous engagements with just type of, of people growing up that have done you wrong. Those experience leave us with lacking trust. And I mean, just they make us reluctant to take risk. And then from there, we lose chances on opportunities that could be an opportunity. And then that leaves us feeling just we lack confidence. We're afraid of taking chances. to experience the unknown. But we have to remember that conflict is normal and it's expected for those in a leadership position. And those that are in that role, you anticipate conflict all the time.

It will never go according to plan. And this is natural for you. I mean, for someone that isn't in a leadership position, you have to acknowledge your reality is not everyone else's. I mean, I'll say that again. Acknowledge your reality is not everyone else's. Now, with that being said, you are in a conflict. You're in between you and another person. There's things you have to address, and they become automatic, but it's actual a conscious effort to remember and apply them.

It's asking yourself if you're making the most respectful interpretation. That's one. Now, considering communication as adjustments to bridge the gap in a conscientious relationship. I mean, do you realize that there's a different way we all perceive the world? I mean, now what I encourage you guys to do is for those that are experiencing some sort of a struggle with you and a significant other. Or just you want to expand your mind to understand how others are thinking. If you even took the time to, this is a great exercise. This help me. And this is taking a moment to include two reflection exercises. And this effort will allow you to bridge the gap between the relationship you're trying to mend and avoid any more conflicts to add to your previous history. So first one, it'll be, it's a two-column little thing you'll make on a piece of paper.

And it's like, like me and not like me. And you'll identify aspects of the other person's behavior that are similar to yours and different from yours. Doing this, this will allow you to bring out the qualities that you share with the other person and also give you a reasonable to yourself to become better. and connect with them. I'll just say take about five minutes to do that for the individual you're having trouble with. And then the next one would be the same thing.

You'll draw another two column. And that's do more of and do less of. And then you'll compare one will be to do more on your behaviors and your communication style and what you should work on. And then the other one would be what you should do less in order to connect with the intended recipient, as any leader should do. If your people do not understand you, that is not their fault. That is your fault and where you're lacking. What the fuck was that? I don't know something weird. And it was just like, I don't know what it was. I don't think it was my dog.

But, you know, the effort to build relationships, even during kindness, leaders need to perfectly seek to understand the perceptions of others. That is your job. That is who you are. If you naturally do it or not, that it always comes first. is the accomplishment of your mission, the welfare of your people. In order to know the welfare of your people, you actually have to understand them. You have to know about them. You have to know what their family life is like. What are they going through?

What are they feeling when they come to work? Then you can decide if there's actually disengagement or if you're a dick. When you can understand that, then you can connect with your people. If you have to second guess yourself if you are or are not, not connecting, then odds are doing something that you're not supposed to be doing or you're missing something. You should probably ask your people. When was the last time you actually had a meeting and straight asked them, this is a psychologically safe environment. Whatever you say will be no reprimands towards you and what you say or what you do. Look up Pixar. Great company to look at

as far as psychologically safe work environment. That's how that's how innovating. occurs. That's the people are on the ground. They're doing the work. They will teach you something if you don't already know. But yes, there's a train coming. I don't know if you guys can't be able to get that, but you might. I know. I really just want to just add the room up and that's in the work. Um, shit, I lost it. Um, there we go. So conflict, why is it important. Now, all this that I just laid out, this illustrates relationship conflict. Jesus, fucking Christ. Yeah, it's literally going to pass my place. So I don't know how bad it's going to be. All right. So conflict, why is that important? Understanding that just the beginning

of this recording, that's only taking into the account relationship conflicts. But there's also other conflict. That's not the only one. There's value conflicts, structural conflicts, interest conflicts, and data conflicts. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I have a bachelor's and organizational leadership, and this was stuff that was like embedded into us. And Porton as a leader. And I occupied a position in the Army, the rank of sergeant, and I've had multiple personnel belief in my charge, ranging from 10 people to 4,500. That is correct. 4,500. I'm not one of those assholes that's giving you a random number.

I was actually Brigade RTO and a delegating authority from the commander's hire intent to the entire. Just think of a fob. Think of a military base. I'm the radio dude that's sending all this shit out to confirm ingress and egress of information and any changes in the flot or forward. Damn, what is that called? any changes in geographical coordinates for individual units or any indirect or direct fire. I took all information and delegated accordingly. Anyways, I don't know where I was going with that, but as a leader, we, oh yeah, I was just trying to illustrate my expertise.

As a leader, we need to understand that conflict cannot and should not be avoided. If you're avoiding conflict, then you won't be able to grasp the variance of opinions that can lead you to your realized potential. I mean, you have to remember leaders who actually do, you're supposed to run towards it, build your communications, your communication skills. And this is how you gain control over yourself. it's like taking the easy left over the hard right. These are learned opportunities. That's why I say when we recognize that there's opportunities and everything, this is an opportunity,

is in the effort to try to understand what that person is saying, oh, you cut them in line? Well, I was standing here first. Actually, no, try to take a moment. Like, how did I cut you in line? Because from what I understand, I didn't see you there. But if you're in a hurry, then please let me know. Maybe they are in a hurry and they don't know how to explain it.

So they're just using the basic knowledge that they have that would be understood as you cut in front of me. There's many ways to view something as an opportunity. And that's what leaders have to do. Not just leaders. people in general, there's a small percentage for people with the elevated mindset that can see over the horizon of what the average person sees. And then you, with this sense of self and this awareness, you can see above that. And for those that have it, it's a perishable skill. If you're not applying it, you're not practicing it, you will lose it and you will fall down with the rest of it.

that don't have that ability. And leaders can lead that happens. You lose yourself trying to help people. These are all opportunities, but I would recommend doing that column list of like me, not like me, and do more of and do less of. And maybe you might understand what's going on in your relationship with your significant,

or why you're lacking this understanding with this problem child at your business or you managing this team. These are all things that take mental effort. So apply it. All right. I appreciate you guys listening. Thanks. Thanks for joining us on this adventure of growth and discovery.

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