Your Transformation Station - 33. Which "Conspiracy Theory" Do You Believe? Larry Oliver w/ Favazza

Episode Date: October 2, 2020

Join Greg and Larry as they delve into the ludicrous, the laughable and the downright comical. A lighthearted view of the world wide web and its shenanigans, including conspiracy theories of the Illuminati. Support the showPODCAST INFO:Podcast website: https://ytspod.comApple Podcasts: https://ytspod.com/appleSpotify: https://ytspod.com/spotifyRSS: https://ytspod.com/rssYouTube: https://ytspod.com/youtubeSUPPORT & CONNECT:- Check out the sponsors below, it's the best way to support this podcast- Outgrow: https://www.ytspod.com/outgrow- Quillbot Flow: https://ytspod.com/quilbot - LearnWorlds: https://ytspod.com/learnworlds- Facebook: https://ytspod.com/facebook- Instagram: https://ytspod.com/instagram- TikTok: https://ytspod.com/tiktok- Twitter: https://ytspod.com/x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to your transformation station. This is your transformation station. We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in a new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host, Greg Favaza. I have a definition of success. If I could go back, this does not. many things that I would go back for.

What do you do when you lose your purpose? It's okay to struggle. It's okay that you're not okay. I am your host, Greg Favaza. Together, we will go on a journey. This show is

all about surpassing our internal dialogue. Rediscovering your true identity. Howing a new foresight. We have a chance to make the world a better place. for our children. Start living in the example today and become your future self tomorrow.

If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know? These things that you're afraid to do? It's across over 60 platforms. And then when I switched over, it, hosting services, it disconnected all of them. No shit. You have to reconnect? Yes. I had to reconnect and that's a huge thing right there in itself.

And I won't make anybody do that but myself because it's global. And in order to find this, I have all the information to get to these locations where the podcast is being hosted. I mean, that's one thing. Social media, I don't know what the fucking say to the audience. I really don't care what they think. I have everything that they need to know. They just need to do it. that's all they have to do just do the work in your life will be better don't ask me

fucking questions right so what I think this is just my personal opinion just based on what I see happening that that engagement when you do have somebody that makes a comment yeah if you can engage with them even if it's just um negative lack of a better word, just a standardized reply, like, you know, great, or I understand, or, you know, thanks for the comment. You know, I'll keep that in mind. When those people that do take the time to comment, good, better, and different, when they get that interaction with you, that not only pulls them in, but the other people that may not have commented but are reading the comments, then they go, oh, wow, he's in. aging with us. And I think that pulls them in tighter. I don't know. But it's, it's something that you can try. Yeah. I mean, like I put it on there, like say something, I will engage you. I have

no life. I will, I will come over to your house and give you a hug. But nobody wants to test that theory. To me, it's like dating, you know, it's like the way I see it, is that I tell people, like women, that I'm completely honest with what I say. I'm a man in my word. I'm not talking anybody else. I think you're fucking beautiful. This is what I want. And this is what I'm doing.

I'm not hiding anything. No, I'm not married. I don't have any fucking kids. Why do you ask me this all the time? I'm 29 years old. Why can't people get the shit right? And then they'll tell me,

well, everybody out there does this shit. They all lie. They all do this. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with every douche in America here? And so the very few, honest guys that are left if you believe all the women because I'm telling you I mean I've heard that for years I hear it now with with women that are contemporary age of mine that all these guys lie to them and hurt them and two-time them and aren't faithful and they're not to put they don't show up when they

say and all of this stuff and so the few guys like you and me that are left and I really believe we must be a minority if in fact we believe what all these women say we are left with having to deal with all of their baggage because of these asshole dudes that have mistreated them throughout the years and they've grown to expect it now listeners to a podcast I think are different than those women but I know exactly what you mean relative to you know it's like we have to be the sin-eaters for those that came before us, if that makes sense. No, it makes perfect sense. And it's interesting because I can see, like, connections on things and how they can carry

over to other things on a complex level. And just with relationships and with podcasting, it's just people before in relationships kind of ruin, like give a bad taste. And that's what I don't want to happen with this. And it's just, it's exhausting when I have to go above and beyond every time I encounter with somebody. It's just like, like, God, why can't you just know that one, you just don't work on yourself to know who's credible and who's not? So why do I have to go above and beyond to show you? By that time, if you don't want to listen to the podcast or you don't want to date me, just go fuck yourself.

Yeah, don't. Probably got other shit to go do. Nobody's forcing you to listen, you know. It's like people in movies or television shows or books for that fact where people make comments and say, oh, I mean, that's terrible. That was obscene. There was too much sex. There was all this, you know, fucking language used.

Did you finish watching the entire movie? Yeah. Well, you didn't have to. If you were at a theater, you can get up and walk out. If it's your home, you change the station. If it's a book, you quit reading it. You're forcing you to read it. And the only, or watch it or listen to it, that's why there's, you know,

tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of podcasts and songs and books and movies and television shows. There's something out there you like. If this is not it, hey, fuck you very much. Move on. And they're going to fucking regret that. because we're expanding, we're going off every avenue of approach. Like what I want to do with this podcast,

I want to take it towards a TEDx approach. I want different specialties. I want people, I don't even want to be the host at this point. I want to be able to delegate authority. Like, hey, I want Larry doing fucking politics. And I want him to be a straight cynical asshole and just bring that old thing. Then I want some other douchebag to do philosophy.

And then real estate, economics. I want all of that happening. just information, just being shoved out there with no time for people to respond. Yeah. Well, and that's also a way to do it. And probably at the same time creating some controversy, which creates interest and entertainment today, I think. I'm down with some controversy.

I'll go out there and I'll say whatever I've got to say to get some controversy going. You got some seriously controversial topics with, texted back and forth on briefly earlier this week. Yes. Yes, I think that's fantastic. I actually did not get the study up on it because I've been so consumed in getting this shit up and running. Because apparently I went from like 100 downloads a day to zero.

And I'm like, what the fuck? And that's obviously because when you switch hosting companies, you lost all those connections with so many of the, podcast players, if you will. Yes, and then I just did like a madman, just trying to get everything going. So I was looking at this. There's a lot of great shit that I covered, and that's on my other fucking computer, which I know I can get that up right here.

But, um. Too, just another thought relative to hooking up with all those other podcast streamers or players. I'm not sure what you call them. but probably literally for, you know, I don't know how long it takes, but for a couple bucks an hour, you can go on to Upwork and hire somebody that'll do it. And, you know, like I said, if it takes five, six, seven hours, you know, and you pay them $250 or $5 an hour. I mean, you know, they'll speak English and understand how to do what you want done,

but they're not necessarily from the United States that'll get it done. A lot of Filipinos are tech savvy enough to do this. Yeah. And again, you go to these freelance sites, and like I said, you put your project up, and I'll pay $5 an hour, and you'll get 25 people that will want to do it for you. It's like pulling up to the curb down in LA. People just roll up in a truck and people jump in the back. Exactly.

You got a couple of cactus trees you need to move. Okay, cool. No, I looked into that as far as I know the, our money, it gets converted over to the Philippines. It's worth more. Yeah. And I thought about doing that with my book that I'm writing. However, I can't do that.

It just, it just, they can't relay the context that I'm trying to go off of because I'm really weird and abnormal. And I wanted to just transition that. And I feel like it was make it basic plain English and speak me. Yeah, no, a book, that, that takes your artistic creativity, those juices. Nobody. Fenta juices? Creative. Okay.

It's making sure. So, yeah, I mean, those people, when I say those people, freelancers that you can hire for. What do you mean those people, Larry? Those people, freelancers, those freelancers, those, I was going to say that when I said those people, just, for example, took Filipinos. There's also United States citizens that for side gigs will, you know, work for not a lot of money to, to, to, to, things that you know you say okay here's what you need to do dot every I and they'll do it and it doesn't take any interpretation you know I need to be signed up with these you know 342 podcast streamers or players you know do it

to to write a book to edit a book maybe but the writing is one of those things things, as you well know, you can't really delegate that. That's you. You can, obviously, like 45, you can have ghost writers do shit for you. Yes. That's a whole different story. Yeah. This is just.

Vaca? Yeah, I do, you know, I like a glass or two of these in the morning, try to do it. Have at least eight, 10 ounces of vodka in my body before noon. Are you fucking with me, like? Yeah, of course. it's usually 12 ounces. That's exactly what you... I would be off on the floor of this studio.

Yeah. Even did that at 6 p.m. with my martini, happy hour martini. I mean, that's something you want to do. We can have a fucking little martini night and just see what happened. That would be fun. That would be fun. I'm just, I'm like a gremlin, you know, like once I start drinking,

there's things I'm not allowed to do. Like, it's past 9 o'clock, I'm not allowed to go outside. Definitely. Well, at least drive. Yeah. Oh, no, I'll, like, I'll just, it'll be bad for everybody, including myself. But it'll be just, it'll get weird. Yeah, no, that's one of the things alcohol does to us all.

And what is that? Makes this weird? I have a friend that has a great saying about alcohol. Nothing ever good happens on alcohol. There's some truth to that. I worked for a CEO of a large publicly traded company that was, at the time, was a 28-year recovering alcoholic. Now, if he's still alive, I mean, it's obviously 40-some-odd year recovering alcoholic.

And he tells some incredible, incredibly funny stories when he was drunk. One of his favorite sayings of mine was he had never spent a sober night in jail. So, interesting. Yeah. So anyway. It was a reality check. No, I definitely did. I did a drunk night in jail once.

And it was my olden days. Yeah. And I learned from that real quick. And then a couple. It just takes one of those nights in any jail to let you know I don't want to be here ever again. It didn't slow me down, though. I have a heavy foot. I mean, back in the day, yes, I used to, I had like a souped up Mustang.

And I just thought I was just the coolest person ever. Like, nobody can stop me. It's like one of those, it's like you imagine yourself. You're in, you're at a parking lot and you just like see one of those little guardian bank trucks roll up. It's like, oh my God, I had this pimped out car. I know I can just whip it around there real quick. Do my military flank. Get in there.

Get the fuck out. Move. In all reality, it's just a vision. And it's like, yep, back to reality. I need to go. It's a little movie that plays in your head. Yes. And you're the lead guy driving.

What do you have like a 350 in that Mustang? Yes. Fucking, what is it? It was actually a V6 stick shift. A big V6, yeah. I dumped a shit ton of money into it. Like, before we go in there, because I'm about to go off of myself, like Greg, it's a V6. You have no room to talk.

However, that. this was like 10 grand in the suspension and aftermarket parts and no matter what you did it was still a v6 but it just was no matter look a v6 is a powerful engine but once you put it is it is look BMWs for years the fastest production sports sedan in the industry was their five series and line 6 engine or it's actually I think it's It's an in-line-6, not a V-6. But, you know, it's a three-liter six-cylinder engine. It could outperform any hot must, or not Mustang, Camaro, like the Z-Camero.

Z-28, yeah, was a nice. Z-28, exactly. And especially if it was anything other than a straightaway, because what you did your Mustang, putting in special suspension and probably souped it up so you could take corners at a million miles an hour. I outran two cop cars in that thing. It was a while back. And those cop cars have special,

especially fast engines and special performance in them. They're not just a, what is it, a mercury marquee or a Ford LPD, whatever the fuck they used to 5. You know, even their SUVs are in today. I mean, that's a special cop car addition with engine and suspension so that they can try chasing you

and especially the highway patrol dudes, maybe not the local guys. If I'm familiar with it, I believe they upgrade the cams, they do something with the polies. They refine their, what we call it, their serpentine belt to a gator belt, makes it tighter, you won't ever snap, really good for torque. Yeah. And something with spark plugs and a couple of things. Yeah, they try to give them the equipment to catch the bad guys.

Yes. You know, not that you're a bad guy, but, you know, their trouble comes when they pull somebody over for what seems to be just a routine traffic stop. And all of a sudden, that person, you know, that person knows that there's outstanding warrants for me. And the cop at that moment may or may not know that. He can still be, you know, the computer is still running the scan they automatically did on his plate. and it may not be his car so the cop doesn't know what's waiting him what's waiting for him when he approaches that window

and you know it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's cops don't have it easy no um every day of their life they they put literally put their life on risk because they have no idea what they're going to deal with and especially today there's so much crazy violence going on in uproar against in the uproar I think is against the bad cops not against the good cops I mean there's bad they're getting classified with the good with the bad cops just because they wear uniform I mean aren't we trying to avoid that shit in general I'm not sure what

what what's going on out there it's it's a bunch of nonsense I mean with the reason why we have so much drama going on it's because we don't even understand ourselves as an individual if we were to focus on ourselves rather than other people then we would literally be 20 years advanced in society because we would have we would have moved past this childish bullshit that was learned in elementary school exactly and you hit it if we would think about ourselves and help ourselves grow and be comfortable within our own skin, then we don't have to worry about anybody else, assuming everybody else is doing the same for the same positive esoteric reasons. Yes.

Isn't always true or easy? And with cops, I mean, they deal with just the worst of society. So they have a cynical attitude. I mean, we have to look at it on their perspective because nobody calls them to say, hey, you're doing a great job today. Oh, it's like, why the fuck are you pulling me over, dude? Yeah, exactly. I don't want a girl pull over.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know I was going 60 and a 25. It just got away from me. Oh, did I run over two people? I wondered what those bumps were. That is a game where you say five to ten points, you know? Right now you are stopping me from making this game happen. Exactly.

And it's like a. that it's just gotten worse, I think. You know, there's just, like I said, so much out there. And we, especially here in the Midwest and in different parts of the country where we're dependent upon our own vehicle. I mean, there are cities where there's great mass transit and you can walk or Uber slash cab, but many people don't have cars. They don't need them. Here, in the Midwest, you've got to have a car.

It doesn't matter where you live, you need some sort of personal transportation. So we have this world, our car, which is special, and even though we know the speed limit on any given street is 35 or 45 or 25 or 25, in all honesty, I don't know about you. I consider myself a very safe, defensive driver. Because you're old, right?

Well, yeah, one reason because I'm old and I've seen a lot and I know a lot. But the other thing I was going to say is, but, you know, I'm always driving above the speed limit. You seldom, when I looked down on my spenometer or when I know I'm in fourth gear in the city, I got to be going 50-some-on miles an hour, otherwise the car would be lugging, you know? And I look down and go, oh, man, you know, this is a 30 mile an hour speed zone. You're going 50. Well, I got to get to where I'm going. I don't think you're really speeding, though.

I think if we look at it, it's like, what if you're moving with the flow of traffic? Exactly. But that's not what the law says. The law says if you exceed the maximum speed limit that's posted. Yeah. So if you, but then that's just a bunch of nonsense. Because if you can be out in the middle of nowhere, oh, you're going over the posted speed limit.

But I'm moving with the flow of traffic because I would be an obstruction to traffic if I was doing the speed limit. Exactly. It's actually just as unsafe to be going slower than the flow of traffic. In fact, on interstates and highways, generally you'll see that sign posted minimum speed, 45 miles an hour.

Yes. Because if you're driving slow, down a 65 or 70 mile an hour interstate or highway. If you're going slow, what happens is people that are speeding, you know, going 70, 80 miles an hour come right up on your ass. Fuck yeah. And then they expect you to fucking move over.

Get the fuck out of the way, Barry. Just get out of there. Right. And so that's really dangerous to go too slow because it causes accidents. Like me, I'm wanting to get to where I want to get to in a hurry. So I may not look at my rearview mirror.

I may not signal. I do a quick downshift and move over without knowing a car is coming right behind me and boom. Hell yeah. That guy not bit that slow dude. I call them speed monitors, drivers that drive purposefully slow because they want you to observe the speed limit. They're speed monitors. No, they're funny. In Larry's world, they're going to call the cops on you.

Like, hey, there's people speeding here. Yeah. And they just slowed down. They're like a speed. monitor you know slow down slow down I don't want to slow down well I'm slowing you down because I'm going my 10 miles an hour and two lanes oh fuck that see if it was at night time over here I'll just light them the fuck up I got three light bars on my truck so it's like bruising it's like oh you don't want to move out of the way okay I'll turn all the fucking high beams on yeah

it turns from nighttime into fucking daytime yeah that's that's actually that's very cool I uh I that would be good and now during the day what do you do I got fucking nothing I'm completely useless I can't run them over I mean because that just would be yeah I know right it ruins your tires over time yes it does it's just like driving on fucking gravel that just a little bit of rock just eats it right up sure long periods of wear and tear no I I actually do the speed limit that's just it's just better because if I try to be like everybody else to stay ahead of traffic, it is a, it is a lot of just wear and tear off of a big ass vehicle.

Because you never make the, the lights in time. Right, right. Right. True. It's going to breaks. What I've done, although I've not gotten any positive results from it, but what I've done is I continually write both the city that I live in and the governor of the state that I live in at any given point in time, asking for and or demanding.

a lane of traffic that's only Larry's. So nobody can drive in this far left lane except Larry. Now, here's the cool thing. I know it sounds selfish and stingy and self-serving, but because of the way I drive and speed, it's really safer for everybody else. Then upon my death, I've actually volunteered to allow that lane to become a lottery lane. So everybody that wants it for themselves can pay $5 to the state and be put into a lottery to get Larry's lane when Larry leaves. Hell yeah. I like where this is going, Larry. Yeah. I mean, I what kind of vehicle do you drive? Stickshift, I heard that. I do. I drive an old beat-up beamer. Hey, that works. It's not beat up, but it's, it's shit, it's almost as

old as you. Holy shit. It's 0-4, but it's six-speed. Oh, yeah. Is it the hydraulic clutch, or is it actually? It's got some electronics work in the clutch. Everything in the car is still new enough to be electronically and computer chip oriented. So, you know, it's stupid when something electronic goes wrong with the car or what you think is pure mechanical. Find out there's no, there's a little module that controls your clutch. I'm curious, wasn't BMW a chopper company back in like Vietnam era? Well, yeah, actually, before that, I mean, it was an airplane. They manufactured airplanes like Saab.

And in fact, here's a little known factoid that's worthless and will take you nowhere in life. Fuck, yeah. But a lot of people don't know the BMW logo that you see on cars and the motorcycles. Okay. That's actually a propeller. Yes. Yeah, seriously. No, I'm aware of that.

I actually was going to pull that on you, but I'm like, you take the wheel this time. Yeah. There you go. Now, here you're another factoid about German manufacturers. It's better than Americans? Well, in certain respects, absolutely. Yes. So, I don't know if you're a fountain pen enthusiast.

I had no clue what the hell that is. So one of the, the luminary fountain pins of the world is called a Mont Blanc. Okay. Okay. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. Never. Tell me. So the Mont Blanc is, is,

that generally what you see especially when you see dignitaries you know world leaders signing shit if they're still using a fountain pen it's a Mont Blanc and it's like thick like a big big ass Cuban cigar okay that gurs

it's like something you can just shank somebody with one of those old school kind of things yeah probably if you took the cap off that gold nib yeah yeah with their neck right here it would work. If the cap's on it's pretty round rounded so you'd need a sharp strike and in some soft tissue here maybe the temple or ear would be cool. Anyway, so the logo and you need to

sometimes Google it so you can see their logo but on the top of the cap which you would see in your pocket is a white glob, i.e. mule. Blanc, you know, the white mountain. So it looks like the snow cap on the top of a mountain metaphorically. The interesting part is these were designed many years ago during World War II. And Hitler had one of his Jewish prisoners that designed this. the Jewish artisan that designed the pen purposefully put that snow cap on the cap

when it's in Hitler's pocket and Hitler looks down what he sees is this snow cap well if you look at it if you look at it it's a six-pointed star David so every time Hitler looked down at it he didn't know he was looking at a fucking star David what a dumb fuck Didn't he live his entire life out? People's, like the history book says he was dead, but we didn't have any proof.

But then I've been going around through some research. And I feel like he's lived out his whole life. And somehow him and everybody else within that disgusting era of Nazis contributed to corn syrup in which carried over into America. Do you know anything about that? about the corn syrup. Anything in general with Nazis or stuff like that. I think, of course, many of his closest lieutenants and colonels and higher-ups in the SS and the Gestapo.

Of course, we're tried during the trial of Nuremberg and were convicted and put to death for their war crimes. the rumor, yeah, is it that he and his girlfriend, when they were down in the bunker, he knew he was going to get captured, and they allegedly took, you know, their cyanide and killed themselves. I don't know really of one way or the other if there was ever any conclusive proof that the bodies they found were, in fact, his. But I would think

if he was living during the trials at Nuremberg for the war crimes that were committed by the Nazis, that his highest dudes that were on trial and were going to be put to death might have tried saving their souls, and, hey, incidentally, Adolf, you can find him over here in Costa Rica if you go look. But yeah, there's been a few books

and theories put out about that. Of course, a lot of his higher-ups right after the war migrated or escaped to Brazil. And they were actually hunted and found in Brazil and taken back to Nuremberg for their trials. So I don't know. I guess that's a long way of saying.

I really don't know. I would hope that he didn't live out his life or if he did that it was quite torturous and terrible. You know, just the effect he had on the world. And the millions of people, Jews, gypsies, Czechs, Austrians, that he put to death in this concentration camps. So I'm noticing shit that's actually happening today with just information about our government.

It's like information that comes off as a consistent. Conspiracy, then as time progresses, it becomes like this hidden understanding, like, oh, I know this. Like, oh, well, I don't know about that. Like, for this, like this little conversation. And then I feel like it carries over until more and more people know until it just comes on to the news. It's like, why does it happen like that? Like, why? It's really weird.

It's just like with information, like this shit that's been going on for decades is now becoming. new information, like when the fuck does this happen? Why isn't it happening when it's happening now? Like, why can't we under it? Do you think we just can't handle the shit that's going on? I think that's part of it. I think today versus even as recent as World War II era, the big difference between then and now,

the big difference between 40 years ago and now is the Internet. is mass instantaneous communication with Photoshop. So when information is passed to people by way of the Internet, by way of the Internet, you have to verify and check on your own every bit of information because you don't know if it's real or not. The institutions that normally you could, in the past, you could trust, you can't trust anymore because people have shredded these institutions. The media has been shredded, the media outlet, what used to be reliable news is shredded. People, news outlets go on, I was watching this morning OAN, just making shit up.

up, you know, and how they make it up is the Associated Press released a story about whatever, which I'm sure they did. And during the whole narration, they're just showing the picture of the front of the building of the Associated Press. The story that they're relating, the narration, has nothing to do with the Associated Press's story on this particular item that they cited at the beginning of their narration. So people think this is the Associated Press's story when in fact it's just OAN's bullshit they chose to make up their propaganda that they chose to push right here. And they're watchers that believe them, that believe their news and not a news story entertainment show and an opinion store, if you will. They listen to it and then they go spread the rumor to their buddies that'll believe it.

And nobody stopped to think, well, let's go directly to Associated Press and see if we can find that story. Because of the Internet, you should be able to do that. You can't find that story because that news outlet made it up. And I'm not saying, I just picked them out because that was a recent example. It is relevant, though, and it does happen. And see, this is the connection I'm talking about. It's with the fucking, with the news station, you can't take their shit seriously. and you have to be extra thorough.

I mean, it's with relationships. Like, oh, I can't trust this dude. We had to be extra thorough because he just seems like a fucking pervert. I mean, there's so much information. Hold on. There's just so much information out there that doesn't make any sense. I mean, if I were to say, hey, I have information about Hitler. He actually has a third testicle.

I'm willing to bet we could get a lot of publicity. Oh, absolutely. A lot of idiots out there that would be. believe that yeah well and I mean um yeah in in two if you had his third testicle you could auction that and probably get a lot of money for that third testicle yeah I'm curious to see what it looks like after this long time being attached yeah I mean I don't know um we don't have I don't have a third testicle of Hitler's yeah no um and that would be weird

having a third testicle of Hitler's on your testicle sack. Yes. I don't know. How did that happen? Some back to the future kind of shit. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, no, I think this information, and again, when you stop and think about the internet, who did I hear say?

It was a great, a great line was, you know what WWW stands for, right? World Wide Web. Right. So why? it is the abbreviation nine syllables long and what it stands for is only three syllables W W W W W W W W W W versus Wide World Web Yes three syllables and the abbreviation is nine syllables It's conflicting yeah I mean I spend most of my day contemplating that kind of shit

that's why I lost my hair I think Larry, I have some information. I actually wanted to do this on the air because I thought this would be a great thing to talk about. You have access to Google? Right next to you? Yes. I want you to go into the search bar.

And I want you, make sure I get this correctly spelled. I want you to spell this. Hold on one second. Let me just get to it. address bar so I don't lose this one tab. Okay, I'm ready. Are you going to do I-L-L correction? I literally just said I wouldn't do it this way. I'd do it the other way. It'll be IT. I'm going to start over now, IT.

Mm-hmm. Okay. A. Yeah. N. Uh-huh. I. Uh-huh. M as in mother. Correct. Yeah. You.

Yeah. LLL I Dot com Correct Now show me what happens Or tell me what happens After you

Click submit I get this incredibly beautiful Naked Woman Really? No I haven't clicked it yet No It's not supposed to happen like that

Okay let's see NSA it goes to It's redirected to NSA government NSA.gov Interesting. You know what I just, I just spelt you? You know, I was looking at that before I hit enter, and that's why I was pausing, and I just decided, let me just hit it, you know.

No, so, and I guess, here, let me back up, and then I should be able to see it in the, no, it didn't stay in the bar when I backed up. What did, what did I type? You typed in Illuminati. Oh, I thought it was Illuminati at the very end, but when I looked at it, there was something didn't look like Illuminati. Yes, well, it was written backwards. So if you were to type it backwards.

I got you. Okay, I see what you did. Very good. Well, so, yeah, it's just redirected. So why is that? I mean, just out of character, like how? I'm just going to guess, but take a while last guess is the people that own. own Illuminati.com or dot org, whatever it may be.

You know, as you well know, when you buy your domains, you can buy a domain for anything and then you can redirect it anywhere you want. You know, so it fits in with what Illuminati is and does in that, yeah, I'm trying to get to Illuminati and I end up at the, NSA.gov site, wow, that's weird. It's not weird. I mean, if, you know, I've got three or four redirects on misspellings of my name. So, you know, if you get it wrong, you still come back

to where I want you to. Yes. So, yeah, I mean, it's, like I said, you know, in the hot and heavy day if you're trying to get on to Illuminati and you get redirected here. Fuck, that's weird. You know, wow, how are they tied to the NSA? How are they tied to the federal government or, you know, any of that? And then when you have 45 spreading Russian propaganda that his security and intelligence agencies, because he's appointed everybody now that's in high power because he's fired everybody else. So they've already said that this Russian propaganda

that's being propagated right now is nothing but Russian propaganda. And 45 is retweeting the Russian propaganda. That's frightening. And it kind of gets back to this. Why the fuck is he doing that? And he's been warned by his intelligence agencies that, no, this Russian shit is nothing but shit in propaganda. Anyway, I don't know how that ties into this, but it's probably close. Yes, as far as a bunch of nonsense happening. It's just, again, one of those things that people that don't care about themselves or don't

care about fact. When this happens, they just accept it and go, wow, that's right, the Illuminati runs the world. In fact, they're running our federal government, or at least the national security agency. And what do you mean by that? Do you think that there's like a higher power that is control of everything? Well, I mean, that's the whole, and I don't know about the whole, but it's certainly the basis for Illuminati. Illuminati is tightly connected to the committee of 300. Yes. It's somehow connected to the elders of Zion, which is pretty scary.

Somehow, I think we could connect dots all the way to the current big cult, which is Q. Anton. What are the elders of Zion? Elders of Zion is it's actually based on a document, a book, which was written originally in the Russian language many years ago talking about how evil the Jews are and, you know, the fact that the Jews are conspiring to control the world and the finances of the world and the communications of the world. you know, again, the Jews have constantly been kind of a scapegoat for a lot of shit. You know, and again, tied to, you know, we talked about in that text Rothschild and the Rothschild family. I mean, they're Jews, financiers, as well as the diamond market is controlled by one Jewish family. And diamonds are very finite. more finite than fossil fuel.

And the beers, you know, it's a Jewish family that if you buy a diamond, a real genuine diamond, the beers had their hands, the beers had their hands in it at some stage. Interesting. No matter where you buy that diamond, if it's a real diamond. So, you know, you got, you know, When shit doesn't go one's way, then you look for reasons why the shit went bad. You look to someone or something to blame it on when many times it's just us. You know, we fucked up somehow big, bad, or indifferent.

So, scapegoats are always fun. You know, Mr. Orrick, my seventh grade woodshop teacher at George Caleb Bingham Jr. high school in Kansas City, Missouri, one of his great sarcastic comments was, don't ever blame yourself if you have somebody else to blame it on. And he was sarcastic, but you know, when he'd say, who just made that noise? And he'd raise your hand and he'd shake his head. Don't ever admit to that shit if there's somebody else you can blame it on. Now go to the office.

You know. So Mr. Oryx, words of words. wisdom. Yeah, he sounds like a straight champion right there. We definitely had to have him on the show. Yeah, well, definitely. He's dead now, I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, 13 or 12. So, or somebody that'll bring dead people to life. I don't know. That would be cool. Like Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein could do that. Yeah, he might have some issues, though. I don't think we can get a good conversation. He might be like straightforward to angry back to straightforward. Yeah, but I'll tell you one thing when he brought these beans back. He made them bigger and stronger.

Fuck yeah. It'd be good to have on a football team. This is true. Put them in the Army. We could definitely use them. Absolutely. I wouldn't mind sign up for that program too. Yeah. I was just curious as far as with just an outside perspective on secret organizations that are mythological or complete utterly nonsense to the possibility of maybe. I mean, I think that just, the whole point of the show is bringing self-awareness. And no matter how many lenses, there's so many.

And that's just, it's really interesting because that is what's going on. I'm not necessarily saying the Illuminati. I'm not necessarily saying what the fuck ever we're talking about. But it's just, it's something to bring to light because it's there. We can't ignore it. Absolutely, we can't. And, you know, Greg, a lot of people, I think a lot of people don't have a clue when you say mention Illuminati, when you mention

the Rothschilds, when you mention the Committee of 300, the Elders of Zion. Number one, not only do many people not have never heard of it, never don't have a clue about it, but they won't take the time to see what it is, but they will listen to what somebody tells them about it and accept that as gospel. And I'm not saying it is or isn't gospel. I'm just saying today, especially with the Internet, you can delve into anything instantaneously. And I was... No, you're not excused.

Okay. All right, I'll leave them. But I get it, though, with the gospel as far as it's... We, like, if we were to tell them about this information, which we are, so we are telling them. I can see them accepting it because we have established some credibility by, one, we are on the air. We are technically like a radio station. I mean, if we made it through the hoops of doing this, somehow we have some factual information that we are presenting. It's like when you go to the doctor's office, he tells you you have cancer, you don't just say, no.

I don't fucking have cancer. I don't believe you. That's right. Literally will accept it and start crying your ass off. Right, right. So I get that. Or at the very least, you say, oh, that's not good. I need to get a second opinion.

Yes. You know, and two, for me, and fortunately, I've been healthy my whole life, at least relatively healthy compared to a lot of people I know. So when I have stuff going on with my body, as you choke to death right here. Yeah, well, I need water and I'm out. So what happens is before I go to the doctor, I go on the internet and I research these symptoms. And then when I go to the doctor and he says, what's going on? I explained that based on my MD degree from Google.com I received, I think this is my diagnosis.

And, you know, sure enough, two or three times out of five, he goes, yeah, you diagnose that right. And I go, great, now what are we going to do about it? Yeah. But, yeah, today we do have ways to verify even what our Godlike doctors tell us, whether it's through a second opinion. I'm really serious about that. If I were to go to the doctor and he or she was to diagnose something semi-serious or serious, you know, I'd say that's cool. I'm going to get a second opinion and we'll go from there.

Although in my age, you know, why extend this stuff, you know? I mean, just put me down. True. You know, I'd rather go down with what quality of life I know I have right now than end up with diapers, you know. pushed into a corner of some nursing all day and eating soft foods and pudding and shit like that. I can picture going down as Walter White off of breaking back. Yes, yes, yes, the cook. You mentioned like going to the doctor.

I think that's kind of some important information that people don't take into account. We go to the doctor when we are in a bad place, when there's something wrong. We're sick. Why aren't we going to the doctor when everything is right? why aren't we getting a baseline on our most healthiest conditions and then using that to determine when things do go south hey i know where i should be but i'm down here exactly that can save you a lot of heartache trying to figure shit out like well maybe this is wrong maybe that no it's just there's a lot of simple things that people aren't doing and taking into account well you know it's so much of

of Western medicine, especially the United States, medicine is based on therapeutics versus preventing illness. You know, it's not until recent years that we really have developed here in the United States a health and wellness industry, an industry that's built on trying to, you know, encourage health and wellness and wellness and prevent shit from going wrong versus,

oh, my stomach hurts, I'm going to go to the doctor, you know, and see what's wrong and make him give me a pill or cut me open and take out the appendix, whatever's causing the pain, versus if I had a different lifestyle, if I had a different diet, if I didn't sit around on the couch eating a bag of potato chips every day, would I be more healthy? I don't know 100% if you would, but I have an idea you probably would,

because when you look at how we humans are designed physically, we were designed to fucking move. Yes. You know? And I know as I've aged, those days where I don't do any physical exercise, the next day I got aches and pains. If I do my hour,

hour and a half of good physical cardio and strength training, if you will, I mean, I get out of bed, you know, like I told you, early on, I probably can out-compete many 30-year-old men or women that are in shitty shape. And I see a bunch of them. I see more people out of shape at all ages than physically, you know, in shape. And what do I base that on? Gary, get some water.

You're killing us in here. Cool. Wait. I get there. Ladies and gentlemen, and Larry has just left the building. He's getting some stuff, some water as I get myself water, and we will be back with you momentarily.

Momentarily, yay. I have them move the river closer to my house. No, but you're right, though. I see so many, like, fat motherfuckers. I mean, I'm trying not to be negative because I was a fat kid back in the day. But then I was in the military, then I had to go through. through so much shit like mentally I'm still probably fucked up from that but now it's like it's an accountability thing if I don't do it then I am upset with myself because that's basic

shit and then I feel the pain in my body if I don't if I don't work out like I'm yeah it's just like I just want to audit motherfuckers who just fail the height and weight requirements of life it's just it's disgusting it idiot here's what I see as a as an old fuck that when I look at young people that have no physical or internal disease that may exacerbate their obesity and there are some medical conditions thyroid and thyroid I mean diabetes you know I mean there's there's some stuff but disregarding that because that's a medical issue that should be addressed early and often I see these young people and let's assume they're in good internal physical condition, how do they allow themselves to get so out of shape,

so quick in certain respects, in what's the prime of their life, where they can enjoy dating and in the physical aspects of dating and take advantage of the muscle mass they have and being trim and slender in shape? They're missing, you know, and all of that's going to affect the quality of their life as they age until they decide I'm going to do something. I'm going to get some exercise. Yes. Even if they, I've got a couple of friends that say, just fucking go walk for 30, 40 minutes a day, briskly.

You don't have to go to the gym. You don't have to go to a treadmill. You don't have to do a marathon. You don't have to lift weights. Just start moving. And the more you move, the more you move. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you go to the American Heart Association. You need, what, 10,000 steps, about five miles a day? And 10,000 steps happens like in your sleep almost. Yeah. I wake up and on, it's funny, it's scary, but I'll look at my watch. And during my sleep, I did like 132 steps, which was really scary. I wonder how many times I walked into the kitchen to get something to eat.

eat while I was sleepwalking. And did I ever drive while I was sleeping? Oh, scary. That would scare me, Larry. I'm not going to lie. Usually I keep a couple guns around the house. It's like if I see somebody sleepwalking, I don't know. What the fuck? I'm shoot first, ask questions later. I do the same. I've broken so many mirrors in the house shooting at it when I'd see myself. But I was asleep. I wasn't thinking straight. And then you end up with a shard of mirror in your neck and you have to call the fire department and they come over well how'd this happen well i saw this guy a shot him it turned out to be the mirror because i was sleeping now they won't come to my house anymore it's terrible oh fuck mary i don't know what it is about today i just feel completely

like a lazy piece of shit like i might get anything done well and every now and then you got to have those days yes you know I mean, it's just like the commercial says, you deserve a break today. Sometimes when I have days like that where I just can't get my shit together, don't fight it. I just say, fuck it. I'm just going to fuck off today. You know, it's a mental health day. Taking a day off.

Get my shit together. Come back stronger tomorrow. And sometimes it works. Now, if you string them together day after day for a period of two and a half years, then you start questioning it. you need them to go to a doctor and get, you know, a pill or some shock treatment or, you know, a frontal lobotomy. Just a little. I've done the shock treatment.

I have a couple tasers. I definitely tasered myself to see that would get me moving. And how's it do? No, it just knocks me on my ass and I got to just collect my thoughts for about 30 minutes. I think, I'm not sure, but I think you need higher voltage and amperage, you know. Hell yeah. I got one of those little police projectile tasers. It's pretty fucking cool. I used it during my undercover security when I was right when I transitioned out of the Army. And that was just the one thing I wanted to do was shoot somebody with this thing.

Did you in any of your training have the ability to shoot a volunteer or be a volunteer and be shot with it? No, no, I managed to get around that nonsense to avoid getting hit by one of those things. I was just curious. I didn't know if that was part of training. It definitely is. I was able to get around that, so that was good. Before I ever used a training collar on one of my large dogs, I wrapped it around my arm. Oh, my God. And, you know, I wanted to feel what he felt.

And then the trainer that was introducing it to me said, but yeah, our pain levels are different than that of a 110-pound dog. and I only, what's neat is the training collar I used. If you held the button beyond one second, it would shock. But when you touch the button, it sends an audible, peep. So the dog hears that. And he's conditioned just after one or two zaps. Oh, fuck.

When I hear that, then I get zapped. So I'm going to be good as soon as I hear that beep. And then you take the training collar off of them. and there's a little dummy collar. It's his collar, but you attach this little box to it, and he thinks it's the electronic collar. And you seldom ever have to worry. It's a neat, quick, very humane way to deal with behavior

that threatens the life of the dog. I lived way up in the hills in Austin, and he would cross the busy street to chase deal. And when we were out walking, I just had to have a way when he saw a four or five deer to get him not, you know, to stop, to sit. Yes. Rather than risk him in the dark of night. There were no lights, no street lights. And he was black.

So unless he turned right in the headlights, you know, and you saw his eyes glist and you wouldn't know it. So that's why he got that. And it was effective. Like I said, I used it a couple times. And after that, when I said, stay. Like, he'd look at me and then he'd look back at the deer and say, really? And then he'd think, oh, that fucking zh. Yeah, I'll stay.

I think that all went through his mind. Maybe not. Hell yeah. I'm not, what I use with my dog, I trained her in Russian, and she's like a attack dog, a little labradoodle, 70 pounds. And I actually used the military FM's, the military kind of pot. I might have even put this up there on the air, whatever, we'll see. But I used, like, all the shit's posted online with the military,

if you know how to look for it. And I pulled up their information on how they train their canine dogs, and I just used their FMs, their manuals, and I applied it to the same thing and tailored some, like, the shit that I have that would be applicable with her versus other dogs that are driven to pleas. she's or driven to for food or whatever the case may be and she's she's a dog that's driven to please her master which was awesome and yeah like I got her I got it down to a science like everything in obedience it's refined to German commands everything to attack commands is refined in

Russian but it took two and a half years I got it down to she pisses on command yeah yeah that's I in my dog do that I had a Bouvier. Bouvier. I'm not familiar with that. Oh, man. Yeah, they were originally bred to pull dairy carts way back when. And then during World War II, the Germans used them for attack dogs.

They're one of the few dogs that can jump without planting their rear feet so they can be in a full sprint. Nice. And on command, just jump up and knock a full person. down a full-sized person. And they've got one of those jaws that allegedly has, I mean, some unbelievable, you know, pressure per square inch in their muzzle. Nice. And I mean, I didn't get it for that reason. I got them just because you're an old and you need some backup. Well, this, my last movie, he was 13 when I had to put him down and that was seven years ago. Man, that's rough.

next month. They're just really loyal dogs. Their personality, they're real loving kind of dogs, but they're not doggy dogs. They don't come up and, you know, wag your tail,

their tail and want you to pet them, you know. Yeah, that's a fucking knowing. Yeah, well, they'll lay on the floor and they'll lift their head up and,

and come over. How does that go again? You know, I don't feel like coming over there, but could you come over here and run my belly, please? Hell no. Train you to do that. They train you to do that.

It's amazing. Are they for people who have allergies? Pardon me? Are they for people who have allergies? Are they hyperalogenic dogs? Yeah, pretty much. They don't shed. They have a coarse curly coat.

Other than their beard, they have a beard, which, you know, you have to clean daily because it'll absorb all the food from their food bowl. But from that standpoint, yeah, they're, because they don't shed, they certainly have dander, but they're not as hypoallergenic as a Labradoodle or a poodle would be. But that was one of the things I liked about the fact they don't shed, but they have a double coat, so you've got to rake it out. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. They look like very fuzzy creatures. They're pretty fuzzy. They're, you know, like he weighed 105, he fluctuated between 105, 110.

And, you know, they're a herding dog also. They were used for hurting. They don't nip at cattle's heels and bark at them. They do full body blocks with them, you know, and shove them around that way. They're a neat dog. And there's only a few thousand of them, I think, here in the United States. But now I'm just trying to rescue a pop and a, you know, or a dog and adult. I don't really care.

But because of COVID, there's not a lot of rescues. And when they do get a rescue, you've got to be Johnny on the spot because they go in a New York minute. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. I'm just looking at these hairless cats. And for some reason, your face just seems to fit perfectly there. Why? How old do you say that? I'm not a cat person. I mean, I've met some cool cats in my life, but I would never really live long-term with a cat.

Yeah, I don't mind them. I don't mind. I want to get a cat highway. They're so different than a dog. I think this requires a certain intellectual to take on that. Absolutely. In a different way. way in a different way than a dog's intellect. Because there are some smart ass dogs out there. Damn right, there are. And she's laying right next to me.

Yeah, there you go. Yes. She's trained you well. Fuck, yeah, she has. I think we're going to call it, Larry. It's going to be a short. Hey, that's cool. That's cool.

I did not prepare for this. I just, I kind of, like, I've been working on it, and then I had to go do that. Then I've just been fucked. Don't worry about it. The other thing before we go, and obviously you can edit this part out, is relative to helping you on production, what are you talking about? And like I said, these next three weeks for me,

just what I've already got on the books, is just an incredible three weeks coming up. It's actually starting today. Yes. You know, Stevie said, you know, will you meet me at Barry's Pool? And I said, I'd love to, but, you know, I'm like tied up until Thursday, literally. So tell me what you got in mind, and let me see what I can contribute.

What can you do? Like, are you familiar with social media? Are you good at connecting that? You know, I'm just learning how, really. You know, I mean, I've got some followers and stuff, but I don't use social media to the extent I should. some of the tricks. Yes. It gets very deep.

I can teach them so much. I just don't. You know, one of my coaches, my nonfiction coach, you know, says what you need to do is you sign up for Hoot Suite or something. And then when you can schedule like a month's worth of postings. Yes. And you push a button and then it goes to all your social media platforms. So you're not having to spend a bunch of time posting to Facebook and postings.

and posting to Instagram and posting here. And put you, Outsweet will go out and post for you everywhere you want to post. And like I said, you can sit down at the beginning of each month and post 18 posts to be posted on this day at this time. And you push boom, or I don't know, the button, I don't know what the button says.

You push it, the radio button and click it. Yeah. Boom. That's the, like I have, I have this online, I just got it set up to release weekly email letters. And I just finally finished that. And I had a, what do you call it, a social media guy. And he was just, he just fucked it all up. Well, yeah, and now, you know, I'm not saying they're not worth it because the good guys are worth whatever their fees are.

But it's something too. I firmly believe what I'm, I'm trying to learn how to. to do this social media and then it's easier to hire somebody to do it for you because two you know what's involved and when they give you their rate you know you can say yeah that's that's a see when i realize how much time it takes and whatever expertise he had to develop or she had to develop that's fair i i can but otherwise you know it's hard to know whether in two whether they're doing their job well or not anyway that's just my opinion there but no like it would be helpful if like you can like cipher the previous like

podcast release and like point out like some good information that catches your attention for for the type of person you are one is an older male a different generation because I'm trying to consolidate data analytics I have so much I have Google um we call it fucking what is it how ads happening. I have Facebook ads. I have Instagram ads. And I got this other ad thing going on. And I have all this data.

And I'm trying to compile a target audience to reach more people. And I think it'll be really interesting as far as to get somebody at your age or somebody below that. If I can understand what you find that's interesting, what you find. because that's in our audience that I'm having trouble connecting with. Yeah, and that's probably here's one thing I will tell you about me and I'm an anomaly, I think, for a lot of people in my era. And I don't say that in any judgmental way, good, better, and different for me or anybody else. It's just I'm a weird motherfucker.

Yeah, you are. you know 69 ripped fucking hilarious exactly I don't know anybody like that well you know

just the way I've lived my life and you know but so but I can relate with a lot of baby boomers that people

basically my generation and I know what a lot of them what they're into what interests them what doesn't and I think almost one thing we could talk about not today because I know you've already told me where you're at today but we should spend some time on some of this stuff that is boring as hell but effective as hell

and that's picking out a niche and then really zoning your podcast and all of your social media and your email campaigns, if you will, newsletter, or whatever you want to call it, to go after that niche. What I'm suggesting is find a specialized niche and market that. Yeah, it's real defined, and the population that you would be hitting

is much narrower than a broad population. But again, if you've got 2 million people that exist in that niche, And you get 25% of them, all of a sudden you got 500,000 people. Yes. So that's a pretty big audience, you know, for a podcast, considering there's literally tens of thousands of podcasts out there always competing for somebody's listening time. And that's why I think if you can zone it, and I don't know, I'm just, this is just coming off the cuff, if you will,

Although I don't have cuffs on, see, I'm short sleep. Yeah, you're cuffless. I'm cuffless, yeah, and clueless many times too. I'm not clueless. But I have been sleepless in St. Louis before versus sleepless in Seattle. And I don't know that I want to be in Seattle right now, even though I love Seattle, but it's a little crazy for me at this moment. I believe that. Yeah.

So that's one thing. is zone in on a niche, a specialized niche, but one that has, again, a big enough population that if you only get 10 or 15 percent, you got a huge audience. It's fucking difficult because I can't, I don't share with anybody. I don't fucking talk to people. I mean, I talked, apparently a lot of people from my military have been contacted me from the military, and they told me this. And I haven't heard any reviews from anybody.

And this was the first person that gave me a review. And they said, when I was during boot camp, I was in a platoon of 72 people. And we dealt with some fucked up shit. And everybody always looked at me during the most intense situations. And I didn't understand that at the time. But then they were bringing it to perspective by saying, like, during these times of stress and just uncertainty, we always looked to Fabaza because I would laugh at the most weirdest shit because I didn't know how to handle fucking like some dude screaming at me. I'm like,

I never went through this in my entire life. Like some dude going psychotic, but ready to beat the shit out of me. I'm just, I would just laugh. And they would, they saw me laugh and they're like, okay, we got nothing to worry about. Like, long as you're laughing, we can get through this. And I don't know, I find that really inspirational to me. It's finding out now. And that's kind of what I like, I wanted to put in there as far as humor, as far as information, as far as something that's completely out there. Because I think we need that, especially more than anything right now. Absolutely.

To a certain degree, you know, can give people an opportunity to stop. laugh at themselves. Yes. How they view some of that information. Or if they thought that was gospel and maybe you put a doubt in their mind and then they did take the time to go Google it and said, oh, fuck, I can't believe I believe that shit, you know. I got to be more attentive.

But in the same breath, they get to laugh at themselves for being a doofus. Exactly. And that's what we need. Yeah. We've got to be able to laugh at ourselves, laugh at the stupid stuff we do. Because if we can't, then everything becomes too serious. And humor, it lightens everything. And, I mean, there's times when you have to be serious.

But most of the time, we can make everybody's life easier by laughing and especially laughing at ourselves or laughing at others as long as it's not harmful like when you were talking about having some dude you know screaming in your

I picture you know the drill sergeant like right up in your face screaming and spittles coming out of his mouth that's definitely happening yeah and all there was saliva stained going on exactly and you know

And his neck's all fucking, you know, his veins are popping out. And you're just sitting there. That's like, shut the fuck up, private. I'm like, I can't. You're making me laugh, too. This is uncomfortability laugh. Yeah. It's, uh, wow.

You know, and again, that's, I know, that's, I know it didn't seem like it at the time. and maybe retrospectively it doesn't even sound like it, but that's experience that the majority of people never have, because the majority of people have never and will never be involved with the military. I mean, there's, I don't know, hundreds of thousands or a few million. I don't know what the military population is at any given point in time, but compared to 330 million, it's really small. So just a small population of people go through that.

And like I say, having never gone through it, but being on the outside looking in, that experience has got to be invaluable later in life. Even momentarily, you know, you're trained, I think, to deal with every situation, worst case situation. You're trained to be aware of what's happening around you at all the time. I mean, and the discipline could better and different. That discipline you can carry with you forever. Most importantly, what I wish, what would I miss?

And I know this vicariously through friends that served in the military, is these lifelong relationships of camaraderie, the people you meet with that there's a small group that you remain in contact with much of your life and it's a relationship like even with your best buddy from second grade you couldn't have because you know I don't care how long you were in the military that period of time you spent you know in the barracks when you were in barracks and you know in boot camp and you know getting a liberty, a free weekend, and you know, you go out and have several beers, and all you're talking about is...

Getting fucked up. Yeah, you fucked up, or, man, it was unbelievable when that sergeant was in your face, and you just fucking laughed. I mean, you had to do 142 push-ups in 12 seconds, but you did it and moved on. Anyway. No, I mean, that definitely is something to look back on. I never really understood it, because I was... was somebody who had a difficult social upbringing and certain things I have not learned was just

understanding the value of a friendship and how to maintain that. Like simple things that people do automatically, I struggle with doing because I just wasn't exposed to it. And then it gets weird when I bring it up to people. It's like, well, you're kind of fucked up. I don't want to be around you. Well, it's like, well, if you think I'm that way, then I want to be around you because you have a close off mindset and you're fixated on bullshit. than the reality of the situation of me being a good person who won't screw you over. But again, that means you haven't learned yourself, so please be gone. Yeah, yeah.

Trust is, it's hard to trust somebody else if you don't trust yourself. And sometime, when at whatever level of comfort you might have, it'd be interesting to learn about some of these things that you were brought up with. Yeah. Maybe some similarities we might have had or vast differences in how it's affected where we are today in our own life. I'm curious. Like I would like to bring it up eventually. It's pretty deep.

There's a lot of shit that I know for a fact if I were to share this. like share what happened and what were things that I was doing, it would shock America. Because it would be like there's things that there's still people out there that think like this way to go after and ensure justice. I'm going to leave it at that. Okay. I got to it. Yeah. Like I said, this was, I just threw that out there.

Yeah. Yeah, because it's food for thought. Exactly. To whatever level of comfort, if at all. No, maybe that might be a special podcast, where we will have just a huge event where we talk about my upbringing, what I wanted to do right when I got out of the military, the most fucked up shit anybody would ever think was completely normal to me. Exactly. And, you know, too, you might learn that in different ways,

many people have gone through, and I know this sounds weird, but have gone through similar stuff, but just in different ways, but affect them in the same dramatic, large scale, having lasting effects for a lot, you know, good, better, and different effects. I'm not making judgment on how any of us are

the way we are based on how we were brought up, But I think we're all, to one degree of the other, a product of the way we were brought up and the environment. We were brought up again. Yes. Well, now that I, like, I hit that closing part of where the podcast will end, I can definitely tell you that I was at a point when I did get out of the military where I started to utilize my skill sets in managing a military, like a brigade of 4,500. elements and planning out missions for the next two weeks. So I knew how to plan out an event that I wanted to take place on the finest details. And I would, and I planned out, what do you call it?

As far as putting myself in dangerous situations to hurt bad people. And there's a couple situations where I actually moved to a new location. because I did a lot of research on pedophiles. And I actually took everything into account on these people that were over there and how I'm going to kill them, what I'm going to do to kill them, and how I hunt them down. I learned the police procedures. I learned everything about everything.

So I can be like the world's worst serial killer. Make the world better, though, in doing it. That's what I thought in my head, but in reality, it won't solve anything. it's like is this something i really want to do i know once i do this i can't go back exactly i planned everything out as far as getting a truck cover just to throw the body in there nobody will notice to chemicals to let in their body soak for a long period of time i had underwater a store or what do you call it like a sewer line kind of thing where they pumped the water out in this area that i lived on 27 and a half acres of land all by myself it was it was supreme

because that's what I thought I wanted to do because I was fucked up from a lot of shit that happened to me as a kid. And rip in the true crime podcasting as far as somebody who actually wanted to do that because I know that's definitely, nobody's willing to come out there and say that. I don't give a fuck. You're absolutely right. I'll tell them. I'll tell them. Yeah, I'm going to be a fucking real killer. I was going to be better than all of the ones that were out there, but I'm going to kill the bad people.

I'm not going to do good people. fuck I was like a good person that got fucked over yeah almost vigilante like yeah they can care of justice because nobody seems take care of it yeah yeah I yeah because like when I lived in Colorado Springs I used to fucking hunt homeless people because I would literally wait for them because I this sounds bad when I say that out loud so it's like they would there I lived over in Colorado Springs where there was a it's what is it CS not CSU let's see there's a huge university and there's this creepy ass like walk path that goes for miles through downtown springs and these fucking homeless people would creep up on uh college students at night so i would

just be on the prowl looking for these motherfuckers and i would just find them beat the shit out of them hence is why my dogs trained so well is backup that's what i used her for is to have my back i would carry guns, a couple guns on me, projectile taser. No, I lost you, Larry. Larry, you're not talking. There's no... There you go. Yes. I put mute on so I could cough and clear my throat. No, you're good. You're probably like, dude, this guy's fucking crazy.

Like, I'm talking away and you're like, holy shit! Holy shit! I do that a lot. It's like, I got this on recording, Greg. You're fucked. Okay, Larry, I didn't kill anybody. I sure hell beat the fuck out of some people, but I didn't kill him. No, and it's good because otherwise we'd be doing this, except you would be somewhere in a penitentiary, you know, we'd be zooming.

Yeah, I'll be down with that. You know, and you'd have like an orange jumpsuit on. You want me to? I can get the background set up that way. We can do, we could do like a prison deal. Yes. I'll be down with it to share it and see who believes it. That's right, because we could get people to believe it.

You know, it's all entertainment, right? Yeah, and it's not a lie. No, no, because we're all in prison, in a way. In ourselves. Yeah, in ourselves, in our mind. Question is, do I want to let that guy out? I don't know. Yeah, I'll let them out.

I understand. I have to deal with mine all the time. Little demons try to get out. I feel like you're a psychopath, Larry. Larry. Well, you know, you're not the first person that thought that, you know, five-paribus quit because they said, I can't help you. You know, you need that frontal lobotomy, a big one. And so when I go through the metal detector at the airports, I always cause a problem because this plate goes from like, you know, here to here. Interesting. Yeah. And a lot of times, if I want some extra stimulation late at night,

I'll take a lamp cord and strip two ends of it and plug the other end to the outlet then take those two stripped areas and just hold them right above my steel plate. It sounds nice. Yeah, well, it's sometimes when you're bored. I think you're trying to be funny, though. To me, it sounds like it'll be a good idea, though.

No, no, and don't try this at home. Don't try this at home. I've probably never done that. What's that tattoo you got right there on your neck? I never asked you that. That's when I was in prison in Mexico. That's how they kept track of us. I knew it.

I knew you're in fucking prison. I can tell. Yeah. Larry, let's get that out there. Hey, everybody knows. Most people do. Yeah. Yeah.

You were in prison. Did you kill anybody? Oh, no. No. You wanted to, though. I wanted to. And so I was actually imprisoned for my desires. one of the few people that was ever imprisoned for your desires to kill imbecils.

Really? Yeah, and they were just unhelpful imbeciles. That may not be true. I'll check. But, no, actually, this was to be a part of the Incan or Mayan Sun calendar. But the tattoo artist, he had no clue as to what I was. He was probably a Mayan. He actually had it done in Cabo.

Nice. And so then he just started showing me a bunch of books and, you know, point to something that's similar. And this is the first thing that was similar. And it's different. And I actually like it. And many times I forget that it's there and I'll be somewhere. And so I go, oh, that's really a cool tattoo.

You go, oh, you can see the tattoo of my bag. I know this one. Yeah, I forgot that one, yeah. Isn't that for like some sort of like cults? You got to have some sort of like symbology on your face. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wanted, the two I really wanted, but fortunately, the lady I was with at the time, you know, she disallowed it. One, I wanted like a third eye tattooed here.

Fuck yeah. You know, I mean, a really, really real looking eye. You know, I just think that would be cool. And when you're talking to somebody you see there, they keep looking above your eyes. So why the fuck does he have that tattooed on there? Or tattooed, you're too young probably to remember an old news anchor. Sam Donaldson, you can Google it so you can fully understand.

but get a image of Sam Donald's and News Anchor. He had jet black hair that was like shoe polish black, even in his older age. He didn't have gray hair. So shoe polish. So his hair was, it was just like a helmet, and it came across his head like that. I wanted to spend like a year and a half just having that full, thick black hair tattooed onto my head. You know, you never have a bad hair day. Yeah.

You wouldn't get the glare, you know. I know you're joking. I know people probably think you're fucked up in the head when you tell them this stuff. That's exactly what I do. Like, Larry, there's a connection here. I know that. You're like a future version of me. Yeah, well, you know, you need to go get help so you don't turn out like this.

Yeah. No, you're fucking right. I definitely do because people think I feel crazy. Only if you're thinking. and this is where you'll end up. You don't want to be bald to. No, it's definitely happening. Did you have blonde hair when you're younger?

No, it was actually brown. It was dark brown until I was, I don't know, I want to say a freshman in high school, I started getting gray hair, which was really cool by the time I turned to 20, 21, women thought the gray was really cool. And then when I started losing my hair in my 30s, they didn't think that was cool then.

Yeah, but then, when you meet people, you know, and they go, oh man, you know, bald's really cool. The only people that say bald is cool are bald people and I don't say it's cool. Or the women you're with, because if they're with you, what are they supposed to say? I rather have a guy with hair. Well, then go get them, dude. You know, so I have several wigs when I go out at night and do weird stuff. I'll put on my disguise and I've got big wigs and different wigs.

mustaches and stilts to make me tall. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah, most of it's pretty unbelievable, literally. You hunt people, don't you? You want to kill them, too? Well, I don't so much want to kill them. Beat the shit out of them. Sometimes, yeah, some of them.

But I do like the hunt. I do like the hunt aspect. Yeah. And, you know, to terrorize them and then let them go without hurting them. That's a good idea. Yeah, you know, it's good for, you know, a boring night. Yeah, yeah, no. I don't want, I did have to terrorize some neighbors this morning

because the city decided they'd finally repair these street utility cuts on the street for like two blocks. And so they posted these signs yesterday morning. that Wednesday, this is no parking Wednesday from 8 a.m. till 4 p.m. so they could get the street repaired. And it's weird how many people either don't see these signs, and I mean there was a plethora of them, because there was three cars parked there this morning,

which I didn't think much about, because the street crews weren't out. Then all of a sudden they come with three trucks, and their diesel engines are running and they look out the window and one car is still parked there so I kind of know where the guy lives generally

but you know it took me four tries and a lot of banging on the windows and doors to finally get somebody to open and go is that yours and he goes yeah now he sees the trucks and he saw the sign right in front of his car

that said no parking today fucking parked there anyway yeah and then he goes well should i move my car and i said not unless you want it towed but the dude asked me if it was my car because they're getting ready to call the tow truck so it's all up to you guy and he goes i'll move it wise choice yeah i would love to kick his ass like you just for being a fucking moron yeah i mean really and there's not a car it's you know i live in the city so this whole stretch of two full city blocks that normally has several cars parked there wasn't a car to be seen for these two blocks except his so I can't picture you living in

the city I picture you more is it like a your own piece of property out in the middle fucking nowhere yeah that's where I'd kind out nowhere but close to city for convenience and in you know fun But, no, I, now I'm a city. I'm a city dweller, you know, small apartment. You know, I like it. It's just me. In the apartment, obviously, I live in the city, so it's not just me.

But it's true. It's, you know, it's kind of exciting being urban-like, especially in St. Louis. We're a very diverse city. St. Louis is disgusting. It's a gross, last place. Yeah, the places I've lived, but I've really, really over the last six years, I've been here six years now. And it's kind of a cool city.

And the best part about it is one of my children and two of my grandchildren live here. So it's the first time in, I mean, many years that we've lived in the same city. So, you know, it's family's pretty cool, like kids and grandkids. and, you know, so I've got a chance to spend time with them, and that makes it pretty nice. But I love the desert. You know, I moved here after living in Arizona for 15 years. Yeah, that seems like it's more your style. Yeah, I'm going to probably if I make it long enough, I wouldn't mind, you know, dying in the desert,

although the thing that scares me is with how my kids close at hand, you know, who's going to make sure I don't end up, you know, in a nursing home. And just give me the pill and put me down. Larry, you put me in charge of that. I'll make sure I fucking kill you. I'll put you down. All right, but without pain. I mean, just one bullet.

No, no, no, no, we won't do the bullet. I'm going to drive you to Oregon so you can get that pill. Oh, to get the pill. Exactly. Well, I'm hoping here soon, maybe Missouri will, you know, I think there's like 10 or 13 states that have that. And I talked to my daughter about that, that even if I had to go to Oregon to get the pill, even though you're supposed to do it, I think, within 12 months, the pill's probably still going to work in 18 months.

Or if not, just get an extra one. Well, it doesn't work instantly. You can't die within a 24-hour period. No, you know, I have no idea. I mean, I think you can take it anytime once it's prescribed and you pick it up. but I think it's the way I understand the law. I mean, it's so restrictive as to who can get it.

Yeah, hell no, we'll get that. Yeah, no, that needs to, that really does need to be liberalized because we each should have control over our body to the degree that if it's time for us to go, let us go. You know, it's a hassle for everyone. Everybody. Now, again, that's what I say right now and I'm in good health and I can walk and I don't slobber all the time and I can control my bowels and urine. I will not wipe your ass, Larry. No, I would not want anybody to. But that's what I'm saying. When you get there, I wonder if you get there and are aware, do you change your mind?

you know like Christopher Reeves the day before he had that accident and fall off his horse and became paralyzed from his neck down he'd tell like his close friends and family man if I'm ever paralyzed put me down and then it happened to him and he used of course he had vast resources financially and everything else and he used all those to have a quality of life that very few paralyzed people ever get to have to have a quality of life that very few paralyzed people ever get to have to have. have in the finest medical care and medical research. But so at that instant, I wonder if he changed and said, oh, no, I'm going to fight to walk again, even though the day before it happened, he said, if I'm ever a paraplegalegiate, he put me down. And then when it happens, oh, my God, no, you know, because I think our system's set up to struggle for life. Yes.

We is a being, you know. I see what you're putting down here as far as that. college when we're faced against this, the situation like that, we feel like it's necessary to fight against it rather than just accept defeat automatically. I think, yeah, just built into our... It's a primitive instinct, that's for sure. Instinctually, just like any other animal, just like any other life form. I mean, you look at a plant, you look at a,

bug you look at any animal were included in the animal part um the only living being perhaps that well even a i think is is designed to continue to live um but we we as animals and forms of life as we think about forms of life biological forms of life and there's some debate whether AI is in fact biological, a biological form of life. But every living thing struggles to stay alive. That's kind of its purpose, stay alive and propagate. It's like the law, thermal dynamics or some shit, the first law. Yeah.

I mean, so that's why I think I've heard. I've never tried it. In this, I would not try. It just doesn't sound pleasant. But allegedly, we can't suffocate ourselves. You know, your instinctual bodily reaction is to finally let go because you've got to breathe. Although there's a movie with... It's about to get weird, isn't it, Larry?

It is. It is. But in the movie, this dude, an ex-military dude, he killed his wife, put on his uniform. and there's a whole bunch of reason why this took place, but the shortcut is he kills his wife by suffocating her with a plastic bag and duct tape. And he was able to restrain her while, you know, she was fighting. And then he was, he made sure his military suit

with all his medals and honors. Yes. It was all just like pristine, like a soldier would be. Fuck, yeah, it's got to be. And then he put this plastic bag over his, head and duct taped it shut and laid down on the bed and I mean you saw him kick and a couple times he'd raise his hands but he had the discipline from the military to not tear that shit off which I don't I don't I don't think we'd fucking possible yeah I think we would tear it off to the

yeah it could be he taped it on well enough so that even as he was trying to struggle with it it was too late and he died. But anyway, it's weird that I go down these just weird fucking paths. No, no, it's interesting because I think that's like some straight determination shit to ride that out. I like that. Yeah, it's. But Larry, if you want to kill yourself, let's get that out there right now. You want to die when your body isn't fully functional.

Yeah. You let me know. Don't let your kids know. Just say, Ray, come over here. Take me up. take where we got to go even though you can't articulate the fuck you're saying i don't know what to do yeah well you know it that that's fine um that's all i need uh because one i'm a wist bucket uh and two is i've aged in have seen contemporaries early on i mean in their 20s all the way

up through you know today if you will suffer some serious illness i don't think i'm strong enough to even fucking fight serious illness and the therapeutic end and what it does to your body and you have no bodily function or you can't eat like you used to and you know you can't have that great morning dump you know with a nice clean wipe you know those are quality of life things to me I don't want a diaper I don't want to have a feeding tube I don't want to be relying on machines to keep me alive because it you know back in the day of the caves and the enderothal people true you only lived to maybe I don't know 26 or so oh yeah but you know you were a vibrant hunter and gatherer and you know uh appropriator of life and you know when the

saber tooth tiger came and got you it was all over okay it was or you know if you cut yourself and got an infection, you got sick and died. You know, there wasn't somebody that, you know, put you on to machines to keep you alive another year and a half only to say, you know, Larry's been in this coma on this machine for a year and a half and we're pretty confident right now. We can't do anything for last year and a half. He's been like this. Don't you think it's time to pull the fucking plug and make room for another COVID patient?

I, you know, I mean, it's a lot of suffering for a lot. of people. I think. Larry, that's pretty specific. Are you getting, you having some thoughts about death here? You getting closer? Yeah, only because insurance age, I just turned, in August 3rd, insurance you age at the six-month point. So, you know, they round up, right? So August 3rd, I turned 70 for insurance purposes. 70 is fucking old, man. And it happened really quick. You say, well, it happened over 70 years, but I get that. But time's so relative. I wonder how I got here.

And 70-year-old, even now, I'm 70 years old. 70 years old, no way you look at it. I know people are living until 90, so that's 20 years from now. But what I'm telling you is, yeah, 70's old. I feel good. I mean, I'm probably not to be self-serving, but I'm probably in better shape than a lot of 70-year-olds, and there's probably a lot of 70-year-olds

that are in much better shape than I am. But it's frightening only because I know chronologically, look, from an actuarial standpoint, our average age is a male non-smoker. Our average age is 77. So actuarially, I got seven years. years left. Yeah, I that's silly because I can walk outside and be run over by a truck. Do that when you're two years old too. But just from a chronological standpoint,

I'm getting I'm definitely in the fourth quarter. I may be in overtime, you know, metaphorically. So I did death doesn't monopolize my thought. But But, you know, I know that probably in different terms, you know, I've got maybe 14, 13 summers left, you know. Let me ask you this later. How do you want to spend your remaining time alive on this planet? And do you believe in reincarnation? And also, do you believe that? Nah, we'll come back to that.

Wow. Let's go for those two first. I believe in afterlife. I'm not sure what exactly how I believe in an afterlife. I believe that when we die, I just feel that's not it. Okay. Good, better, and different what may happen after. Could it be reincarnation?

Yes. Could it be, you know, living in the house of the Lord forever and ever, and it's all cool? And you can eat as much ice cream and red meat as you want. You don't even exercise unless you like it. it. You know, or, you know, am I going to, like, be with all my buddies down in hell, burning and, you know, living with Lucifer and those guys? You know, and I don't think about that stuff. But the first question you ask is actually a soul-searching question. I mean, what do I want to do with the rest of this? Because a lot of guys, when I say guys, guys, gals, I mean, you,

I mean, they hit their late 60s, early 70s, and because they have another 15 or 20 years to go, they do vibrant, important shit in the last quarter of their life. And right now, knock on wood, I mean, I'm physically, you know, I'm able to do a lot. This is when I should be leaving that legacy so that the little speck of time I occupied here on Earth,

I did some good for some people. And I'm not sure how to actualize that. What can I do to have the most impact on the most people that will improve their lives today in people's lives beyond their lives? Is there something I can do? and is it just be kind to everybody I meet, you know, from an SS. I mean, if we were to look at that real quick, because I can't hold it back any longer,

if you be kind to everybody you meet, yes, that's a good thing for you, but in reality, it does nothing for. Exactly. Because nobody's going to take that away. Nobody's going to remember, hey, Larry was kind to me. You remember that day? It's like my own fucking head. They're all selfish.

But I think if you're looking for something, what I see is you just learn that. this not too far from here as far as you wanting to leave a legacy, wanting to make an impact, just the thought of wanting to do something good. What if you were able to inspire people at an earlier age to have these thoughts sooner rather than at the end of their lives? I think that's very important because right now what you're going through is called the oddball effect where people are looking back on their past. It's like, damn, I didn't do so well.

You're getting closer to the end. It's like, no, you still got plenty of time to do something. But it's just we need to get people to start thinking about that way sooner. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's precisely what in my mind I envision doing. But then also, excuse me, I remember being young, being younger, looking at old people, my age now, and or having conversations with,

them and they're saying all these cliches like time goes by really fast you know before you know you're gonna be an old man you know you got and I'm sitting there's like dude I'm fucking 30 years old first of all I got 40 years to get there I got plenty of time and then you wake up and you know it's the day of your 50th birthday and you go fuck 50 I'm getting a R AARP fucking magazine sent to my house now I'm 50 I can get senior discounts at the show, you know, I'm not a senior, I'm only 50, yeah. And then you turn 60, you know, fucking six.

And then 65, you know, when you're filling out forms online and you've got to, you know, you've got to scroll down for the month of your birth and the day of your birth. And then you got the scroll down box for the year of your birth. I mean, it takes me 20 minutes to get to 1951. Or what's worse is a form that has age brackets. You know, you're under 25, you know, 26 to 35. And it's like, oh, my God, I'm in 65 and over. That's the last bracket.

You know, there's no bracket, you know, 82 to 100. They should put that bracket in. So at least, oh, fuck, I got two brackets to go. I'm in the last bracket. There's nowhere else to go, dude. So, yes, how can I, How can I affect, even with my own children, although both of them are, you know, they got their mom's brains, they're way ahead. But to so many young people that think, oh, it's 40, 50 years away, I don't have to deal, think about it now.

No, you got to plan, start planning and living your life to have a real meaning, to accomplish your goals, to follow your dreams. All of those esoteric cliches, I firmly believe, are true. And right now, because I didn't always take that path, and many times I took the path too often, you know, I find myself today having a number of regrets that I can't get rid of. And I don't, when I leave this world, I'd like to leave without any regrets.

And those regrets are all internal more so than anybody else knowing them, if you will. And I should let go of so many of the regrets because, you know, you can't just go through life kicking yourself and the butt I shoulda woulda, coulda. Only if, only if my fucking aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. So if it doesn't do anything Shoulda Doesn't do anything Yet I think it's human nature

To be really hard on ourselves And when you have 70 years To look back on and say Look at all this shit I did wrong Knowing what I know now Well half the time when I was doing it I knew better But you're young and fucking

Footloose and fancy free And 70 ain't ever coming It's years away Oh it's fucking coming Whether I like it or not I'm just question myself, do I want to beat it? Do I want to kill myself before that happens? No, I know.

But I mean, this is a lot of people, you know, they seriously question like that. I dealt with suicide. I mean, you know, straight on with a loaded 357 to my head in the parking lot of a Walmart in Austin, Texas. I believe that. And there was a big part of me that really wanted to do it, yet there was a small part of me that was really frightened because of the afterlife. And I made a couple phone calls that were, I really needed these people, you know, not to say, yeah, go ahead and pull the fucking trigger, Oliver. I wanted them to say, no, don't, promise me you won't, because I knew there was that little bit of doubt. And making that kind of decision is the only decision in life that you can't redo.

There's no do-overs. Every other decision we make in life, we can change, except that. You can't change that decision. You just said that perfectly. With having somebody to call right before you wanted to kill yourself, that can resonate with lots of people, especially with my old army captain. He is writing a book. he's out to get a message as far as planning ahead on people you can call when that situation

happens letting these people know ahead of time hey i'm going to call you sometime in the night or the day when this happens whatever you do please answer my phone call right having that planned out when that situation does come can save somebody's life yeah and and i'll tell you you know my personal situation, I didn't, I didn't plan on doing any of this. I mean, it was spontaneous, but like I said, when I was sitting there and it was, it was that decision moment, okay? All you got to do is, you know, I even, I swear to God, the, you swear to me, Larry. Okay, I swear to Greg. I swear to Greg, I swear that I even had the, the hammer pulled back. It was a pistol. It was a revolver. And you know guns.

And this is a Smith & Weston 357 with a round butt handle. It was a really cool handgun. When you've got that hammer cocked, I mean, you can go, I mean, it takes nothing for that. It'll be a release. Because it's a big pull, a big resistant trigger if you don't have that pulled. if you don't have that cocked. And that's, it's literally here, and I'm in tears and shaking and the fucking adrenaline.

When I go to the shooting range, I mean, the adrenaline goes, because, I mean, you're excited, you know, and you're shooting at a target, not thinking about any of this, naturally, but when you're really here, I mean, that adrenaline's moving. It really is.

and it in itself can present a really dangerous situation. But, yeah, and I said, there's that little piece of me that knows I shouldn't do this. You know, and I just, the two phone calls are made, you know, I don't know that they or anybody else that knows me will ever hear this. And, you know, I'm not going to mention their names. But thank goodness, one, they answered the phone. and two they didn't say yeah well go ahead I'm busy you know you know and you know they they they talked me down and you know I'm glad for it I'm glad for it because

there's those days when I wake up and this world is really beautiful and I don't know what that other world is like, but I know what this one's like. And, you know, there's just a lot to be grateful for, and I'm not going to continue going down this. No, I have one question, Larry. I'm not going to chime in on my past, but I wanted to know as far as how,

what did you say once they answered the phone? I, if I remember correctly, it was something to the nature that, you know, know I'm sitting here in Walmart parking lot with my gun to my head and I'm going to blow my brains out. Tell me why I shouldn't. I mean, I gave them, which wasn't fair of me to put. Could you imagine if we were really close friends and, you know, you get, it's you and me. And I call you and say, you know, I'm sitting here in Walmart.

I got the gun up to my head and I'll blow my brains off. And you say, no, you know, don't. You know, and we talk maybe for a few minutes and either hear me. And then how you live with, wow, did I say the wrong thing? Could I have said something different? You know, I mean, that's a lot of going on some. Larry, you can, first off, you can call me anytime that if you're having that thought, you are not alone because I definitely have those thoughts.

But we won't go down there. It's about you today. But I will always answer the phone whenever you need me or not. Well, that's cool. and I appreciate that. And yes, what you were talking about, that everybody should have this kind of support group. And again, it's not necessarily a big group.

It's a very finite group of people that you can call upon that have your back, that will talk you down. Because again, like I said, right, wrong, or indifferent decision-wise, it's just that one decision that you can't change. you just don't get to change it. And I think I'm not a religious person. I'm very spiritual. And just the way I was brought up, you know,

this omnipotent being that we, for lack of a better word, called God, if you believe that he created us or had any responsibility or she had any responsibility in creating the whole universe, i.e. than us also, then it's only that being's right to decide when it all stops is potentially another thought. And that would be a huge slap in that omnipotent beings face that we're Well, I created you, and you don't get to choose when you go. I do. Is any of that bullshit?

I don't know. But again, as you're looking back retrospectively, that's a thought I have now, which is why I would, at this point, I would be surprised if I could ever do that. Could I do it, euthanasia kind of stuff and take that one pill that the doctor prescribed? If I'm, you know, this is time for me, you need to put me down. you know, I'm scared and all that, but I know it's time. It's that gray stuff. You know, I think a couple weeks ago we talked about black and white.

Now everything's binary today. Everything isn't binary today. We know there's all types of shades of gray in between black and white. And, you know, you put yourself down by taking a pill versus blowing your brains out versus, you know, is murder okay? Well, is war okay? Well, is abortion okay? You know, I mean, these are all killings, really, whether it's yourself or someone else and who's to say what's okay morally or legally, obviously we know. But yeah, there's a lot involved. No, I just wanted to say something, Larry, as far as I want to link episode 19 into this as far as the

His biggest obstacle, culture of toughness and self-sufficiency, episode 19, that's with Bobby Tester, where he wanted to kill himself during such an intense situation that he was going through in his military career, which ended up getting him in a psych ward. and he goes into the practices of what he've learned from and what he can contribute to today for people who are going through this situation and how should have linked that in there. That's, yeah, and I need to listen to that.

Like I said, there's, and maybe this is, maybe this is my quest these last years I spend here is a way to have that positive, impact on a lot of people, not only in getting young people to realize every hour they're getting older, you know, but also helping people understand that no matter how bad it gets, it's going to, it's going to get better. You know, it's got, it really is. And but in order, it's easy for me to say that. But if you're, as you well know, if you're going through that and you're at that point where I'm at the bottom.

And somebody says, no, it's only going to get better. You know, what the fuck do you know? And I can't see how it's going to get better. It's all based off your positive outlook on life if you wanted to get better. Yeah, exactly. Control that. Yeah. We get to choose our attitude every day.

Yes. And in our happiness or sadness or anger. or whatever emotion we're feeling, they're internal. We get to choose how we're going to be every day and every minute of our day. Somebody else doesn't make me happy. Somebody else doesn't make me angry. Somebody else doesn't make me gluttonous. I choose each day and each hour and each minute how I react to shit going on around me,

to which I have no control. I can't control you or anything that's going on. I mean, most people, you can't control other people. What I can control is how I react to it and how I'm going to face the day. And for me, I've found it's a lot easier just to be happy. Sometimes to be to the extreme, I'm happy to go lucky and got my head in the clouds or up my ass, however you want to look at it. Definitely. I'm not that flexible.

you know, that's why I practice you. I think you're coming on strong. You're going to scare our listeners with all this old man talk. Absolutely. To bring it back down. Let's bring it back down. And I realize, oh, my God, it's almost a quarter of the two. Holy shit.

Larry, look what you did. You got emotional. Absolutely. So don't let me do that again. Never. Let's touch base so we can talk about social media, you and I on the phone. Sure. Or on a Zoom session.

No, definitely on the phone be easier. Yeah, and figure that out, see how I can help in the production of these, and we'll go from there. Okay, awesome. Thank you. Thank you, Larry, for your time. Thanks for allowing me to go off on that tangent. No, you needed to. You had to get that out.

That shit's built up inside you. Yeah, yeah. But you call me if you need me. I'm good, but I will, and I appreciate that. Now I'm going to hunt you down, Larry. find out where you live. Okay, well, you know, I'm under a Windows protection program, so it'll be hard. That's why I'm here on the internet. See you later.

All right, Larry, you take care. You've been listening to Your Transformation Station, rediscovering your true identity and purpose on this planet. We hope you enjoyed the show, and we hope you've gotten some useful and practical information. Join us weekly on Monday for the YTS challenge and bi-weekly on Wednesday for the exclusive interviews at 8 p.m. Central Time. In the meantime, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram at YTS, the podcast. We'll be back soon. Until then, this is your transformation station, signing off. It's tax season, and at LifeLock, we know you're tired of numbers.

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