Your Transformation Station - 40. Exploration of Character, Integrity and External Forces Larry Oliver w/ Favazza

Episode Date: November 28, 2020

"How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself?" Join Greg Favazza, podcast host and creator with his co-host and voiceover actor, Larry Oliver. Greg and Larry will ask the questions, who are you under duress? They will give their personal feedback and opinions on character, integrity and who we are when no one is looking.   Support the showPODCAST INFO:Podcast website: https://ytspod.comApple Podcasts: https://ytspod.com/appleSpotify: https://ytspod.com/spotifyRSS: https://ytspod.com/rssYouTube: https://ytspod.com/youtubeSUPPORT & CONNECT:- Check out the sponsors below, it's the best way to support this podcast- Outgrow: https://www.ytspod.com/outgrow- Quillbot Flow: https://ytspod.com/quilbot - LearnWorlds: https://ytspod.com/learnworlds- Facebook: https://ytspod.com/facebook- Instagram: https://ytspod.com/instagram- TikTok: https://ytspod.com/tiktok- Twitter: https://ytspod.com/x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coming up on your transformation station, a mentor, shouldn't the individual who is seeking them have the idea that the person they're talking to is almost a spinning image of them as their future self that they're desiring to be? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they aspire. That's a great point when looking for a mentor. Welcome to your transformation station. It's your transformation station.

We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in on new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host, Greg Favaza. Definition of success. If I could go back, there's not many things I would go back for, but... What do you do when you lose your purpose? It's okay to struggle. It's okay that you're not okay.

I am your host, Greg Favaza. Together, we will go on a journey. This show is all about surpassing our internal dialogue. Rediscovering your true identity. We have a chance to make the world a better place for our job. Start living in the example today and become your future. tomorrow. If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know?

These things that you're afraid to do? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your transformation station with your one and only, of course, Greg Favaza. Suppose you're someone aspiring to learn how to connect to the world. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? This question is often what I think about. Your transformation station focuses on 30-day challenges, three-hour refinement, connecting clarity,

the idealic life, interviews, investing your time. This is your transformation on how to decode ourselves through the realization of others, a transformative experience, and establish our own transformation. Now, let's get into this. A mentor, shouldn't the individual who is seeking, have the idea that the person they're talking to is almost a spinning

of them as their future self that they're designed to be. This is your transformation station with your host, Greg Favaza. Yeah, they aspire. That's a great point we're looking for a mentor. Character and the Truth and the place it all lies within us, I had to come to a definition of character. And I didn't want to go to a dictionary and just put it in character and pull that out. So it's something I actually sat on and tried to come up with on my own.

And what I came up with is character is a relationship between being and an individual's reflection over his or her assumed self. I like it. And I bet that's real similar to what Daniel said in different words. Who the fuck's Daniel? Daniel Webster. The dictionary. So many people use, you know, who knows? But that's really hitting it.

The message is there. So let's plug in character just for fun. One thing that I hate about the dictionaries is you have to spell it right. You know, and if you don't know how to spell it, how can you look it up? Exactly. It's not like Google or it will automatically. self-corrected self for you. Yeah, generally when you don't want it to, it'll self-correct. Okay, so look at this. It's the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of

some person or thing. I mean, but you said it way more, way more correctly. One such feature or trait, moral or ethical quality, a man of fine, honorable character is not Donald Trump. It might not have said all of that. I don't know. Of course, yeah. So no, that was, that was beautiful. And that's what the world has lacked so much of these last four years at the highest levels of world leadership, not pointing a finger to anybody except Donald Trump. So if we were to compare and contrast character and truth, we really, I mean, we can do that, but it kind of goes hand in hand on a very deep level. As far as what I can come to my understanding is how we act under pressure and how we act in a societal basis is completely different.

Meaning the way I want to be portrayed towards somebody, I would act this way. nice, calm, and relaxed, but if I'm facing an altercation or a situation, I tend to fall back on my emotions that are affected. Usually I'll project or I won't do as I say, I would say. Does that make any sense? It makes perfect sense. Yeah. And what I believe is that that's not part of your character. I mean, that's, that's your behavior based on what's happening to you right now and your response to that. Your character remains unchanged. I mean, your character, I believe, this is just what Larry believes. I believe your character is built in and it's the foundation for everything you do say, think, or feel. So when you're right now, you know, we're talking, there's

nothing threatening going on. And you've got this calm demeanor. However, if you step outside and, you know, you see two people coming aggressively towards you and they both have weapons in their hand of one sort of the other, your character doesn't change. Greg is still the same guy inside. Your thoughts, your ethics, your moral stance remains the same, but now you've got this pressure, external pressure in this example,

and you're acutely aware of what's going on and that you're going to have to fucking defend yourself. You don't even know who these people are or why they're coming at you, but you have to defend yourself. Now, some of your behavior that you're going to exhibit at that moment is character-based. I know it's not right for me to kill somebody, unless I'm defending myself.

That makes sense. And those are nano-split seconds. I mean, you don't have to sit and contemplate. Your character's built in. All, you know, your adrenal glands are kind of hardwired. And you're going to make these decisions. What should I do? Do I turn around and run?

No, I've got to save these people from the neighborhood because God knows if I run and let them lose. So I'm going to have to, figure out how to deal with these guys. So when I'm referring to would probably take the stance of self-assertion, if I were to say symbolic interaction with understanding I and the me, I believe that's the hell is that dude's name with psychology, meads understanding.

Your like alter ego? Yes. I mean, is that the me you're talking about? That's correct. And the me represents what society would see me as, and then the I would be the things I would do alone. And where I'm looking at the truth in the character, I'm looking at how we act underneath pressure.

I agree with you that we behave differently when we're under pressure. I'm just not so much, I guess that's part of character, but part of character, I believe, is integrity. Yes. Okay? So when you're under pressure, you're still going to maintain your integrity. You may demonstrate integrity differently based on external and internal pressures. But, you know, you're still going to be, you're still going to have integrity.

You're still going to have character intact. You are still going to be truthful. You might exhibit marketing puffery, you know, there could be hyperbole, but it's still going to be fact, truth, character, integrity-based stuff you do. say, regardless of what's going on outside of you and around you. If you're, if you've got character, that's what makes you behave the way you do. Based off our principles on what we find as our, as what we say goes or doesn't goes and what we will do.

but what I find hard to understand is it's affected by the situation because I don't steal. However, if I'm starving, my family's starving and I don't have any money, I'm probably going to go try to steal something to get them fed. You are. And again, there you see your character comes into play. Your character comes into play. well, I don't have to steal anything today. I've got food. I got my shelter.

You know, should I steal Larry's red Porsche for his birthday? I can afford it. I'll buy it. No, but, okay, then all of a sudden, pressures change. You have no money. You have no food in the cupboard, if you will. Your family's hungry. You've got to go provide for yourself.

And in doing so, you're going to run into the store and grab a banana and loaf of bread and run out. You're not going to go in with a AK-47 and spray bullets all over and take whatever you can't. No, but that's the difference from character. Because your character says, in fact, I know it's really not right to steal, but my family's got to eat. I'm not going to let them suffer. I mean, that's all part of character, taking care of your family and not hurt anybody else in doing so. Yeah, if you stole it, you hurt the store owner?

maybe, you know, if you went to the store owner, if we didn't have pride, which is part of our character, you know, which is, I guess, a sin according to some people. But if we didn't have pride, if we didn't have an ego, maybe we'd go to the store owner, the proprietor, and say, dude, you know, I lost my job four months ago. I'm out of money. My babies are hungry. You know, can you help me out? And he's he's most people their character is based on kindness and empathy Um he just don't go to the White House and expect any But most people you know they have that yeah dude you know take some bread and take a chicken

You know I mean but what you're saying I feel like is now We've went even deeper past character and we are looking at ethics or morals. Well, yeah, but I feel that ethics and morals are part of what builds your character. You know, people, here's what I believe. People without ethics and morals have no character. Now, you can have ethics that say go out and screw everybody today, you know, out of $5, like the robodiler people.

they have character it's bad you know it's it's negative character you know um they some might say their morals are low

or they have no morals because you know they're okay with screwing people out of five dollars um and I just think all of those things we're talking about ethics morals truth

um this is what builds one's character. These are the things that generally by the time people are, there's big debates, but five or seven years old, 10 years old at the oldest. Some people say it happens as early as five years old. Your parents, whoever's bringing you up has instilled you with all of your values. Those aren't going to change unless there's some traumatic event that happens to you in life. Yes. I use that were established when you were a child, a young child, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, they won't go anywhere unless there's a traumatic event. And I see what you're touching on as far as our social upbringing and how we were raised by our parents passing down their own beliefs, their own understanding.

and then we kind of are stuck in our ways until we reach a certain point in time where either we develop and meet self-actualization or beforehand we experience an event that cause us to dissociate and see an outside my perspective and allow us. transparency to come in. The transparency that comes in, are you suggesting that comes from external things or our view of what's happening outside of us? Thank you. Whether it's intrinsically or extrinsically.

Intrinsically, I believe it's all based off our motivation and what's been instilled. What is the driving factor in us that really residencally? but extrinsently, it can be from an outside stimulus, some sort of reinforcement. The reinforcement, though, is that coming because of what's happening at that moment, outside of you, or is that stuff that's going on inside of you that's causing this change in behavior? I don't think the character changes. I think one's behavior and or response to what's.

going on will change, but it's still character-based. Whatever your character, whatever those values, ethics, morals are inside of you, at the heart of you, every decision you make, every response you have are tied to that set of your character, your set of morals and ethics and what's truth and what's good, what's bad, all that shit that was instilled in you as a child, stays there. And like I said, unless and until you have some crazy traumatic event, good, bad, or indifferent kind of event. Good events can change values and character.

Bad events naturally can. But traumatic either way, you know. That's just my thought. I can see that when we infer meaning based off the inner conversation that we have and ourselves that we constructed. But what makes it difficult to see, for me, is deciphering the reaction versus proactive engagement. I mean, I get our past, is our past, it's already completed, and conditions of our past

can be deemed relevant. But in the case of organic behavior, it's a moment. matter of selection between choosing various alternatives in that moment of being. Just getting one of the robocalls we were talking about. Usually I try to insert this guy. Hello? For security reason. Watch this.

You want to mess with them? Sure. We can do that. Oh, I need my phone. Hang on. I can't press one on this. I have my phone outside here. Let's see if we, she might already hang up.

We're going to have some fun and get that person on the line because that's not Amazon. We know that. Sorry about that. Since that's being brought up with AI, I understand why the telemarketers or Google bots or whatever we want to say that's on the other line is calling, is it because it's they're on a recorded line so they're trying to get you to acknowledge who you are and whatever certain key things that you say, they will pull that record information and almost articulate a sentence to access that very account

by you acknowledging what they say. They can play it back to the actual Amazon and get it. into your your shit pretty much. Well, yeah. This is what I believe, this is a pure scam. It has nothing to do with Amazon at all. There are people that are fishing. And so when you push one or whatever,

they told me to push to talk to somebody and get that taken care of, it's going to be a guy or gal that is not from this country that we talk to. And I say that because they have a very heavy accent. Or they just hire a bunch of actors that sound like people with this accent, which I doubt that's the case. Their job is to get you to disclose your username and password

so they can hack into your fucking computer. And they're either going to take money out of your bank account or use your credit cards, whatever they do with once they have your, that's a fishing call is what that is. And they just send it out to everybody because, I mean, you may know two people in the whole world that have never ordered from Amazon. And that would be unlikely,

but there's probably people that don't have telephones, which will never get called. Because if they got called, they wouldn't know it because they don't have a cell phone. But anybody that has a cell phone probably has done something with Amazon, unless they live in a cave. And it's just like a lot of the email scams that come out. They just say,

Dear Bank of America customer, well, I don't bank with Bank of America, but Bank of America has millions of customers. So they're going to hit some people that are with Bank America. They're also going to hit old people like me that don't have a brain. That's what I was going. They're going to call. I don't have a Bank America bank account. Why are you calling me?

And they go, oh, where's your bank? U.S. Bank. I bank at U.S. Oh, my God, we had the same problem with U.S. Bank. Let me just get some information. We'll take care of it for you. This is what the scheme. I mean, and it sounds pretty natural.

Yes. You know, we have your nephew here in the city jail. He's been involved in a hit and run accident, and he's either going to stay here for 30 days until we can get him in front of the magistrate unless you can wire. You need to wire $500 cash here right now, and here's how you do it.

Oh, my God. Billy? No, not Billy. It's your other nephew. Oh, John. John is always getting in trouble. Yes, let me. get that money for you. I mean, this is what happens. Because it's public information and what

you just said is perfect. And I wanted to ask you if you compared yourself with somebody my age as far as do you get more of these calls because the fact that they look at you at a higher age bracket and they're making the assumption that you don't know any better because, I mean. Yeah, I get certainly, you know, like the plethora of burial expense plans and Medicare Advantage and Medicare supplement plans

and life insurance plans and, you know, adult diapers and, you know, all of the shit that goes with getting old, they know that because it's pretty easy to access people's age from public records.

I mean, you can go to every state and get everybody's birth date. Okay. And you can put together data bases based on age. So yeah, some of that's age-related. The fish stuff, the way most of the people with robodilers do it, they don't really care what age. I mean, unless there's specific Medicare scans or, you know, sales to take place. But otherwise, I mean, these fishing expeditions and just outright, yeah, great, I just need your credit card. number just to verify your Amazon account. Oh, okay, it's this, is that the visa or is the MasterCard? Oh, it's the visa. Okay, yeah, so let me give that to you.

You know, it's just like I get this one hacker. It looks like it's AT&T calling me and my wireless services with AT&T. So I used to always answer the call,

you know, and then I'd be talking to them and just something didn't sound right. And, you know, I would hang up or what I learned to do is, okay, cool, let me have your name and your extension number. I'll call you right back. And then I'll call AT&T's number. And, you know, they don't give me their extension number. They generally hang up when I ask them to provide that information because they know they're not with AT&T. But so because anybody can, it's illegal, but put on caller ID whatever they want. I mean, you can put the White House.

Yes. Your caller ID and say, this is Donald Trump calling from the White House. Oh, Donald, really? Did you vote for me? Yeah, of course. Didn't everybody? You won the election, it said. But I'm just saying, so old people are really vulnerable.

And again, a well-executed scam that's going on today. whatever it may be, if these people would just use their creativity for, you know, legal activities and for the good of people instead of to steal and screw people out of stuff, they probably could be very good business people, just doing it honestly and legitimately, you know, I didn't mean to go way off there. No, no, right there, what you just said, what if that is their definition of their truth to their character? Well, I think the definition of those people would be a sociopath.

You know. I'm just glad you didn't say narcissists. I feel like that thrown around way too goddamn much. Yeah, it certainly is. And again, I think a sociopath is way beyond narcissistic. I mean, I spent several years of my life being a narcissist. But. for you to go into that and tell me.

Yeah. I was just a bet. I was very unfaithful in my marriages, a couple of them, you know, because I was narcissistic and immature and selfish and a number of other things. But I've never been, even during that period of my life, was a sociopath. I knew right from wrong. I knew how terrible a person I was. I knew how much I was hurting people, including my. myself. But, you know, as a narcissist, it just doesn't matter. I mean, you know, you're out, you know.

You're able to switch off the understanding for right and wrong. It's almost like a duality. Yeah. Or it's like, you know, while you're doing whatever you know you shouldn't be doing, you say to yourself for a moment, I know this is not what I should be doing, but, you know, it feels good. So you do it. And then you pay the price later from super guilt and from seeing the harm you're doing, you know, to everybody you touch with whatever it is. I mean, narcissism is one example. I mean, addiction is a little bit different because it's an illness.

I mean, I really believe it is an illness. So like any illness, nobody chooses to get it. You know, you're not good or bad because you have it. It's like any disease. Disease has no respect of anything. Illness has no respect of anything. I'm curious is the fact that we do live in this society now where people are claiming, what is it, polythamus?

Polythiana. Pollyanna, where it's okay to have lovers. Oh, no, polygamous. Yeah. Okay. And it's looking like just how the online dating is kind of impacting that to give us that gratification of, ooh, there's something more out there. Yeah, it can add to it.

I mean, I will tell you growing up in the era that I did, the 70s, the mid to late 70s and up through the mid, maybe late 80s. 80s, it was when the actual sexual revolution happened. You know, if you look up sexual revolution on Google, I mean, it's going to give you some date ranges and they're going to fall in there where it was rock and roll, free sex, everybody had sex with everybody. There wasn't yet HIV. There weren't herpes, the worst. Sorry.

Yeah, that's old. age being 93. Ladies and gentlemen here, Larry will be 93, February 12th and 2021. And it could also be because, you know, I've been recording for about four hours straight this morning already. So, you know, I've already done about 20, 25,000 words. And, you know, still have three more hours to go of recording. and not being hydrated properly. Because none of us are.

None of us drinking of water. That is very true. For people that are looking for a mentor or trying to establish a relationship with one, what general guidelines could you give for somebody to start that process? Wow. I think a lot, a lot depends on what type of mentor a person's looking for.

Is a personal, like a life mentor? Is it a, you know, somewhere in the business realm or, you know, if you are in the real estate business, do you need a real estate mentor that can help you excel in that business or whatever business you're in? Is it a personal mentor or a business kind of mentor you're looking for? Because I think you look for different qualities and how you find a reliable mentor other than word of mouth references. You know, you might look for different qualities in ways to determine if this is the kind of mentor I want. Let me give you a practical example.

So I have a coach, a voiceover coach that's also my mentor, a voiceover mentor. So when I need advice and I have an issue relative to voiceover, I'll communicate with that mentor. And he's been around for 30, 40 years. He's in the industry. he's well regarded by everybody in the industry. He's won all kinds of Emmys and globes and very specific voiceover awards in addition to those that,

Grammys, not Emmys, you know, that you would want somebody that's going to mentor you in the voiceover industry to have all of those credentials. If I was looking for, like, a life mentor, somebody to help me through the decisions we make every day about how we live our life, how to have a more purposeful, mindful life, more fulfilling life. I mean, I'd look for totally different characteristics.

I'd probably want an old person, not when I say old person, somebody that's had some experience in life. I mean, if I go to a 13-year-old and talk about the purpose of life, you know, it's going to be totally different than if I'm talking to a 50, 60, 80, 90 year old. And then you got other things if you're dealing way up in age, because their mental capabilities might not be as sharp as like a 50, 60 year old person. Even for a 50, 60 year old person to have another 50, 60 year old person as a mentor, that works.

Because after 60 years, you get some experience and you've been knocked around a little bit. And, you know, you've gotten up, test yourself off. And you can offer some wisdom. So I'd look for somebody that has wisdom in the areas that you're trying to be mentored in. And, you know, does a person feel good about it? Do they want to be a mentor? And do they have the time necessary to share, you know, as a mentor? I mean, there's professional mentors.

I mean, people that are paid to be mentors, and there's also those mentors that say, yeah, you know, I'd love to, you know, be your mentor. And, you know, let's meet four times a week or four times a month, rather. And, you know, we can do it Zoom or we can have coffee, whatever, doesn't matter. But, you know, so you guys kind of commit to each other that you're going to have this mentee mentor relationship. And here's what to expect out of it, you know. It would affect the relationship? Like if we were to look at paid mentorship versus internal gratification of someone giving it away for free because they kind of see themselves and the individual that's requesting it. Yeah, I think at the end of the day, to use that trite saying, if the mentor is a character-based person,

it would be the exact same. And, I mean, like I said, another name for a professional mentor might be a coach. Okay, maybe that's the difference. A mentor is not paid for their mentoring. A coach is, you know. I mean, you do get free coaches every now and then, but a lot of times a free coach is their values the same as what you paid for it. And that's not always true.

But maybe that's a way, at least for our conversation, to distinguish between a mentor who's paid, we could call a coach. Okay. And those that volunteer to be a mentor to one or more people at any given point in time because everybody's only got so much time per day. So I know, you know, one of the associations, in, there's, you know, we've got about 1,1, 1,200 members. And of that, there's about four or 500 that agree to be a mentor, a free mentor to the members. And they tell you,

you know, in the association, you know, take advantage of these mentors, but don't take advantage of them. They're here to give you maybe 30 minutes a month. But again, that's a lot of time from somebody that's mentor quality. You know what I mean? Yes. It take 30 minutes of their time. And then there could be six or eight members that are all grabbing those 30 minutes. So over a period of a month, that mentor might spend two, two and a half hours a month

mentoring people for nothing other than the pure satisfaction of hoping to help those people. You know, with whatever. wisdom and advice they share. Yeah, I know that was an open-ended answer. I think it just depends what you're looking for in a mentor. And that varies between what you're trying to accomplish and what I have trouble. I mean, what I can see, though,

I can see the connection between a life coach versus an online business, entrepreneur where you're trying to get mentorship from, is understanding the philosophy that you want to have in yourself that can be incorporated in your business. Because if you look at an institution, all it really is is just an attitude outlook. It's a culture.

Each business, each entity has a culture. of its own, an attitude, an outlook. Exactly right. And as does each mentor or potential mentor. And that's part of the decision process is, are your guys chemistry right so that you're comfortable being that person's mentee and that person's comfortable being your mentor? If in fact your characters are diametrically opposed, this is probably not going to work out.

You would want to have congruence with character, really. Character and personality, you know, can I engage with this person? Am I willing to share a lot of information, detailed information? Are they willing to share that with me? You know, do I feel like I'm in a, you know, the principal's office when I'm with this mentor, are they pretty loose and conversational? You know, I mean, I think everybody's different. You know, everybody is motivated differently.

But when we're looking at, like, seeking out a mentor, shouldn't the individual who is seeking that have the idea that the person they're talking to is almost a spinning image of them as their future self that they're desiring to be. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they aspire. That's a great point when looking for a mentor. Look for someone you aspire to be like in those ways you're looking to be mentored in. or maybe even some areas that you're not looking to be mentored in,

but you know those things of that person. And, yeah, I mean, I'd want him or her to mentor me because I know I've seen what they do here or there in this situation. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you have this uncanny ability to boil things down to a really basic way to, in a simple way to look at things, which most people need that. So I'll drone on and on and, you know, I'm verbose, I'm not concise. You're very concise with your thoughts and you can take these complex, these are complex thoughts

that you're able to verbalize in a pretty simple phrase, you know. And that's a very cool, a very cool talent skill. Yeah. I think it's just, to me, I'm the youngest of step in and I never had any information passed along. So I really don't understand a lot of basic things that people already do as far as with communication of human relations and interacting with people. How do I establish a conversation? How do I have to, how do I get this person's attention? I have to go through an encyclopedia to understand it because it was never instilled to me as a kid.

And it's my biggest struggle or it could be a double-edged sword. It's in my favor, but on how I view it or it's my biggest weakness. Well, again, I wasn't raised in your family, but just based on what you just told me. in knowing you to the extent that I do, you on your own struck out on your own, if you will, to learn these skills and talents, how to communicate with people, how to talk to people, how to be conversant with people, how to bring something out of other people, you know, by way of questions, by way of intelligent questions. We learn so much from listening, so much more from listening than talking.

Because when we're talking, we're not listening. And if we're not listening, we're not learning. I know it sounds really basic and simplistic, but it's so true. When it comes to communicating, when it comes to understanding others, when it comes to feeling comfortable enough to engage another person and hopefully have them engage you, so there's that two-way communication, there's like eight behavioral, actual observable behavior. behaviors that we can identify in seconds about somebody.

And all, the entire world's population in one school of thought falls into four, one of four quadrants as far as personality styles. And each of those personality styles are subdivided into four more quadrants because nobody's all one way. They have major tendencies here, but they have a little bit of this stuff too. And I'm not going to go label these for you yet. But there's four labels of these four distinct personality profiles. That's a good cliffhanger right there.

Yeah, exactly. So stay tuned. And learn those eight behaviors so that when you meet somebody, you'll instantly at least be able to put them in one of those four quadrants and then know how to communicate with them the way they want to be communicated with rather than how we are comfortable communicating. That's the whole key. make the other person communicate with the other person in the style they're most comfortable in

communicating. Okay. And the rest of the cliffhanger is just simply this. What I mean by that is, I'll just use this as an example, an accountant, take an accountant or engineer. When I say this guy is a CPA, an accountant, or this guy or gal is an engineer, we all instantaneously have these generalizations. We think about a pipe, smoke, and Volvo driving engineer, or, you know, a little short guy with big, thick glasses, and a pencil, and a big chief tablet,

the accountant, and they're very analytical and stuff. Well, you know what? The fact is that of all of the accountants in the world, about a fourth, fall into each one of the four different categories. Think about presidents of the United States. Like we could sit here because we both know some of the presidents of the United States. And if you knew these four quadrants in the eight behaviors that you use to determine what quadrant a person exists in most of the time, we could actually, you know, I've done, I've done this in the past, put these contemporary presidents into one of these four quadrants and we'll find that of all the presidents, about 25%, about a quarter of each, each fall in each one of these quadrants.

People think, well, to be president of the United States, you have to be very tell assertive, not emotional until Trump, but, you know, and straightforward, in, you know, time-conscious, all those things that would make a great leader. But we found Reagan's not, wasn't like that, you know, George Bush, W wasn't like, that. His father wasn't like that. There's four examples and they're each one in the different quadrants. And you don't even have to know the people to observe these eight behaviors. You can watch it on television. You can hear it on the phone. Sometimes you can pick it up from there, you know, in the old days, people used to write letters. Today we do texts and emails.

But you can pick up a little about how a person is. Yes. From their writing. You can't tell if they're starting to start. If you don't know them and I'm so sarcastic, you know, a lot of times I knew people I'm sarcastic with and they think I'm serious. You know, they go, no, I was just fucking kidding, dude. It's sarcasm, you know, but you can't read that. I'm the same way, but much more in depth. Yeah. Yeah, well, I get pretty in depth.

It's just until I know somebody, I'm not going to be real in depth with people. I always let them wonder, you know. My dad said I was a wonder boy. The more you look, the more you wonder. And it's probably true. I for a long time thought it was a compliment, but might not admit it was. I think it was. He was pretty good guy.

And he was kidding. He was pretty sarcastic. Be some truth. These four quadrants, I'm going to just give you the names of them and think about them because they actually explain quite a bit. So there's four, there's two continuums that, that make up the four quadrants, okay? And the one continuum, this vertical continuum, okay,

is at the very top of it is what's called emotive, people that are emot a lot, I'm sorry, the top part's control and the bottom part's emote. So on this vertical, the higher up you are on that vertical, The more controlled you are with thoughts, feelings, and speech. The lower you are in the continuum, and you'll see how it all fits together. The more you emote, the more expression and emotional part of your personality is there, traits, your behavior. Then the horizontal continuum is tell assertive, ask assertive.

I don't know which way, how it comes through there, so I'm confused. But you have tell assertive and ask assertive. So when you put the quadrants together like that, you can see what is the upper left hand on your screen, I think, This is my left. Yeah, but you see where my finger is going? Yes. Okay, that should be your upper left-hand side. What you're seeing.

Okay. If that makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah, that's a good thing right here when we're recording is to mirror, not to mirror the screens, but have them play as what it sees. Yeah, and see, I don't know which way they do it. What I'm going to do, just for lack of a better word, so because it's really important concept here.

make, and you'll be able to think about this. And it, you can almost come up with the behavioral, observable, observable behaviors that people exhibit that you can easily put them into one of these four, um, quadrants. You won't be able to read my writing,

but at least I'll be able to point and be correct. Okay. If that makes sense. Yeah. And I can recreate this graphic that you're, in here and put this in the show notes. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so here's the four quadrants.

I know this is small. But so up here, so the people above this line, they have more control than the people below the line. They tend to emote. When I say control, it's not that they don't, these people don't have control, they do. But these people are closed up. They don't share their feelings.

with you openly. So, people tend to. So is extrovert? You can think of it like that, but it's, it's not. Okay. And too, most people, you have to understand how they're defining extroversion and introversion. But so this is totally different. And I just totally don't think about that as you think about

various quadrants. And so then you have over here the tell assertive people, they're just, they're more tell assertive, they'll say, hey, go get me a cup of coffee. These people over here, they want a cup of coffee. They say, hey, would you mind get me a cup of coffee? Okay. All right. So tell assertive versus ask assertive.

The control person is you say, hey, how are you doing today? The person that lives on this part, they're generally going to say, fine. When you ask these people, hey, how are you feeling today? You would not believe what happened to me today. been the craziest day I've ever had because they're open and, okay, these people up here, if you're sitting with them at a restaurant or in an office, they're the people whose hands are on the top of the desk like this, or they're sitting with this. And there's reasons why we have some body language going on. But I mean, this is, if I'm sitting like this, you're probably

thinking I'm not a real open person. Not that I'm hiding anything. I'm just, I don't want to share my feelings with you, you know. Her father's created that. It could be. It could be. So you got those four things. Now, here's what's really neat. Taking that little bit of knowledge I just gave you. Okay. And call, we're going to put labels on this for the major quadrants. Each quadrant is, again, divided into subquadrants exactly the same way. So you actually have 16 squares. Okay. Okay. So this person right here is labeled a driver. This person's labeled an expressive. This person's labeled an amiable. And this person's labeled an analytical.

I definitely heard of this before. Yeah. This is not. This is, and it's, I'm telling you, it's one of the most accurate ways to communicate. communicate with people because you don't need the sub quadrant. When you know these eight behaviors that you can use to identify that driver, well, you know a driver's time efficient. You know a driver doesn't open up. They like keeping their feelings close at hand. They don't share them. You know, just get to the fucking point, dude. Just give it to me and I'll deal with it.

A lot of people think you have to be a driver. You have to have a driver personality to be a successful leader. Not true. Reagan was an expressive. He's down here. He's still tell assertive, but he shares his emotions. He's open. Hey, guys, you know, I really hope I can help you.

The amiable is your teacher and preachers. Or generally people, it's not true. But when you think of amiable, those are the people that are trying to get consensus and really care about how you think, feel. And then the analytical is your CPA or engineer. You know, it's just the facts. So think about that over the next week and ways you could look at people and put them into one of those four categories because that'll tell you how they're most comfortable being.

Is that your dog or do you have flies? Yes, I have my big, fluffy lab. Labradoodle here. Oh, cool. She just likes to know what the heck's going on all the time. What color is she? Brown. I can move this camera here.

Barley. Platy. I see Barley. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, she's chocolate. That's chocolate. That's better than brown.

Yeah. Like you're a good dog. Yet you are. This thing like ever, I've trained her in Russian. I trained her to be an attack Laberdoodle. Right. Right. Yeah, she is just the greatest thing ever had happened to me.

I can imagine. Dogs have that ability. And I grew up never having a dog, so I never knew the impact that it had on just the responsibility of taking care of a life. Yeah. And the moment I got her, it changed me on a very deep level. dogs just bring such a quality of life to each of us that's there is no other substitute there is no other kind of love on earth like we experience with our fur friends especially dogs I mean I'm not a cat person I've met a couple cool cats but they're totally when it

comes to dogs, they're, they're just incredible beings. They're, the, it's truly unconditional love. That's all they want. They just want to make you happy. Just, you know, you know, what can they do? You know, they're just incredible. Do that, I just want to see that. I only do it once a day and I just did it. Tune in tomorrow. I don't do it the same time all day, every day, but that, that's, you know, why people are constantly coming around. And it all boils down to making that other person comfortable, you know, communicating in the way they want to be communicated with.

That analytical person doesn't want to hear about, you know, how beautiful it is outside today, and it's sunny, and there's a nice breeze. They want to, what's the fucking temperature? And is it going to rain? Okay. So, no, if I was dealing with an analytical, and we were talking about the weather, That's what I said.

It's 63 out and there's no chance of rain. Versus, hey, you know, the sunshine, the sky's so blue today. It's got that autumn crisp blueness. And the breeze, rustles, the leaves, and it's really cool walking in the park. So that expressive wants to maybe hear that. Yes. You know, so that's, you know, once you learn how a person likes to communicate, then you communicate in their style.

That's the third, the second thing that Wilson does, they put you in a quadrant and sub quadrant, and they teach you how you identify people in each of the main quadrants. But they also put you on a flexibility continuum, so that over here, this wiggly finger is an oak tree, and this one's a willow tree, because this is real flexible. Oak trees aren't flexible, okay? So, and based on those responses, they put you somewhere on this continuum.

them. So you're either inflexible. In other words, you don't have the ability yet to deal with somebody the way they want to be dealt with. Now, I'm going to deal with you this way. This is the way I deal with people. Okay? And then you got the Willow.

He's totally wishy-washy. He's waffles. He's a fucking politician. He has no fucking backbone. You don't want to be either one of these extremes. You ideally want to be mid to mid left. Okay, you want flexibility so that even though I'm not comfortable

dealing with that analytical guy, I know how he likes being comfortable. I'm flexible enough to put my stuff second to this guy because I want to communicate with this guy. And I'm going to make him as comfortable as I can make them. I actually have the ability to be concise. I need to when I'm, and I need to bring that analytical,

out by way of asking him questions because he's, you know, he's very controlled. And I know these things. That makes sense as far as trying for the analytical guy, because he's looking for something that's measurable. That is what gravity attention. He likes facts. Yes. Yeah.

And then if you can distinguish that from those categories within a 45-second. Yeah. introduction right so you got the driver okay remember the driver yeah okay so you got those four quadrants the driver expressive amiable and analytical we just talked about the analytical also keep in mind a little clue okay this is a bonus no charge for this if you abbreviate analytical you end up with anal so you know that's a reminder of what accountants remind you of so anyway that's not true I'm a retenant in certain regards. But anyway, the driver, the driver's tell assertive and controls his emotions.

The driver is very time-oriented, very bottom line, very win. It is very important for that driver. Doesn't really care about if everybody likes this that we're going to do. This is the way we're going to do it because I've, analyzed all the facts from the analytical dude, I know how to lead the group to get to the objective we want and do it time efficient. Okay. The expressive is very tell assertive, but is emoge all the time. So like I said, think Ronald Reagan. He was very expressive, very feeling oriented, but very tell assertive. His fucking president of the United States, he could tell somebody

what to do. Okay. Then you got the amiable, and we'll stay with presidents. Amiable are really friendly. They really need consensus. They are very ask assertive. They seldom would say, go give me a cup of coffee. They would always say, would you mind go getting me a cup of coffee, Greg? I really could use a cup of coffee. And they want to make sure there's consensus in the group. I don't care if they really get to the goal one time, as long as everybody's comfy with the direction they're going to go. That was Jimmy Carter, if we keep with presidents. Okay. Yeah, he was just a one-term president, but he was president. There's only been 45 of them, now 46, in the whole world, you know. So it's just very few people attain that level of success. Those are the four major

quadrants. Your driver, you're expressive, you're amiable, and you're analytical. And most everybody's a combination of those two. That's what the sub quadrant, but you don't need that. You don't need to know that. What's interesting to know is that when we, and you brought this up at the very beginning of our session today, is when people are under pressure, when they're pressured for external pressures, internal pressures, combination zero, they end up in the exact opposite quadrant under pressure.

So in other words, that driver, when they're under pressure, generally they behave like an amiable. The amiable acts and behaves like their drivers. The analytical will be real expressive, and the expressive becomes quite analytical. It's just, you know, again, not everybody 100%, but it's about 93.6% accurate. That's, you know, backed up into a corner. How does that person react? That, you know, generally the opposite quadrant that they exist in most of the time. Larry, I appreciate your time today.

I'm going to move our recordings to the Monday Uplifts, and I would love to kick the short walks. Like, I really enjoyed just like that very question as far as mentorship and how that just went everywhere. I love that. Yeah. Well, that's actually an interesting, think about this, and then we'll go, because you just raised just something I just thought of. But when you think about people that you'd like to surround yourself with, like some people say, if you look at your message screen on your cell phone, look at the last five people you texted, those are probably your centers of influence, if you will, you know, the five people that have the most impact on your life, at least right now, you know, if it's a lot. happens over and over that these are the five people you constantly see on your text list.

That's one way looking at. But here's where I'm going to go with that is if you were going to surround yourself with five people, one way to do it is maybe think about the same characteristics you might look at in a mentor. Isn't that kind of the same people with the same characteristics you'd want to surround your just everyday life with? Think about this. The five closest people to you were Barley's.

Okay, had Barley's personality and unconditional love and respect for you, and you gave it back to them, those five people. I mean, think what a wonderful world you'd have them. If everybody had the character of Barley, because I don't know Barley, but what I do know about dogs, they have incredible character. I've never met a dog that didn't. Let me put it that way. And I've met a lot of dogs over my life. And now I'm not talking about the animal. No way I'm talking about the animal.

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