Your Transformation Station - 46. Quit What YOU "Can't Control" and "Remember" to Stop Erin McCullough w/ Favazza

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

"How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself?" (Greg Favazza) podcast host and creator interviews (Erin McCullough), "personal life coach". Erin McCullough is the coach who wants clients to find their joy by letting go of the things you can't control, and by maximizing your time instead of the method of "grinding it out". Erin provides us with ideas and methods for achieving a state of serenity in the midst of our hectic life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coming up on your transformation station. And when you do that throughout your day regularly, then you can be present. And I mean present in your body, present in your conversations, present in your intention, present in what you're doing, right? Like that kind of presence is the experience. But we're so focused on the future we're trying to create that we aren't here. Welcome to your transformation station. This is your transformation station. We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day

and honing in on new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host, Greg Favaza. Have a definition of success. if I could go back There's not many things that I would go back for What do you do when you lose your purpose It's okay to struggle It's okay that you're not okay

I am your host Greg Favaza Together we will go on a journey This show is all about For passing our internal dialogue Rediscovering your true identity Honing new foresight we have a chance to make the world a better place for our children.

Start living in the example today and become your future self tomorrow. If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know? These things that you're afraid to do? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your transformation station. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? This question is often what I think about. Suppose you're someone aspiring to learn how to connect to the world, just as I am. Tune in on how to decode ourselves through others' realizations,

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We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in a new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host, Favaza. Aaron.

Can you hear me? I. Yes, I can. Excellent. How are you doing today? I'm good. How are you? Doing all right.

Been pulling it all night or just cranking out content and just working hard. Nice. What is it that you do besides your podcast or is this what you do? I do the podcast. I do. I'm trying to finish writing a book. I started two of them and have not completed either one of those. I'm trying to create an online course.

I'm trying to do a lot of things. And it's just difficult to do when you're all alone, kind of just cranking it out by yourself. What are the books? What's the ideas behind the books? So one of my books was actually to, just go into the fine specifics of being a podcaster and talk about the things that, like the helpful tools that are out there that are free and bring that up,

give it for each chapter will be like a call to action. It will contain at least 10 different steps of very useful practical knowledge and tools and applications. but the majority of the book will be kind of emphasized on having your philosophy match up with your business philosophy or podcast philosophy and ensuring they're both in line throughout the entire process. Nice. And the other book? The other book, it was focused on developing a, developing the right character.

and what that actually entails, utilizing my previous experience with the military and kind of just implying that into the right mindset and what that actually means. Nice. How can I help you on your transformation station? Just providing a platform like this is an incredible help, you know. what I know for sure is that we are all evolving consciously. And through that process, we need platforms to talk about those things because it's not the norm still. Although there is movement happening, just like everything, the evolution of major things do take time. And without platforms like these, then this information can't get out there.

My purpose is to help people recognize that they are not their emotions. They are not these experiences that they think they're having, that they can internally create an experience of joy and happiness now, regardless of what the exterior looks like, and move from that place. And that's really the place where you begin to create what's possible in these other places where we're beholden to or at the mercy of people or circumstances. That creates a not so wonderful life. That creates an experience of pain and all the things, anxiety and stress, all the low-level experiences. And so when you have a platform such as yours to discuss some of these things, people will hear it wherever they're able to hear it and begin to make that transformation because that is in my estimation where we're all headed, which is conscious evolution.

And so, you know, maybe the things I'm speaking about or putting out into the world, aren't hitting people on as deep a level as my intention, if they can at least get one new idea and create some sort of change in their life towards a more positive or happier environment or experience, which is, I mean, that's really the key, right, is the experience.

Yes. Because all the things that are going on outside of us, those events or circumstances or people, or whatever, those things are going to be as they are. And where the disconnect is, and my estimation, is that we think we can control the people and the events and this external world. And the reality is we can only control the internal world. So when we make that internal world so ironclad in happiness and the experiences that

we want to experience, which for most of us is deep, meaningful relationships, I believe, with people that we love and just people in general when we recognize we can have that now before all the things that we've been told is important like the car and the house and the relationships and all that stuff then we can create that experience because you I mean think about a time in your life where you just kind of felt like you were

super challenged by a circumstance or a person. And once that passed, the relief you felt for that, well, you can have that relief now. Like you can create that relief within and create separateness between you and the people and circumstances so that you can experience happy, joy. now versus waiting until that because happiness and joy are not a destination there actually and that's the internal work that I think is important. It's interesting. It sounds like stoicism as far as focusing on what you can control versus things that you can't.

And that's kind of like a bias that we all carry within ourselves thinking if we just send the message this way. Maybe they'll understand if I see it this way. No, it doesn't work that way. You can only fix your own perception, your own outlook and what you can do for yourself in your day-to-day applications. Is that what you're referring to? Absolutely. Stoicism is incredible. That is a piece of what I teach, which is creating separateness from yourself and the external world, right? And what does that do? It doesn't, I think some people might think that it makes your experience flat, right? Not exciting, not interesting, you know, because it's like, oh, if I'm no longer these emotional reactions that I'm having all day long about people and situations, then what? What does that

life look like. And I'll tell you what that life looks like is peace and stillness and the ability to take time. You know, you're no longer under the gun. You no longer buy into, you know, this hurried idea of things. You know, I need to make a decision right now. You no longer buy into each decision being like, yeah, I don't know where we got this, but it's like, you know, when we go to make a decision, it seems like we all act as though this decision is going to affect our life forever, you know, and it's like, in what I tell clients all the time is make a decision. If that's not going how you want, make another decision. You have that opportunity.

But somehow in our mind, we kind of get to this point where we're like, oh, if I make this decision. I got to think it to death first, all the things, right? We don't, again, we don't have control over all the things, right? So we can think about it all we want, but the reality is the outcome is the outcome. What we can change is the experience. So changing the experience looks like not being in reaction to all of the things all the time, right? It's just going, oh, okay, I can take this information in, sit with it. Does it resonate? Does it not? Does it seem like a good idea? Does it not? Make a decision. Oh, those are not the outcomes I wanted. Make another decision, right? But we don't, somehow we don't, we don't go about it that way for some reason. Right. As far as this fast-paced society that we all grown into somehow just came up, I don't know. nowhere and information overload with the next big thing, oh, you need to be doing this,

you need to be doing that. How about you actually spend time alone and reflect on how you feel about these actions you're doing and sit with it and see how your family's interacting with your day-to-day life? What are you doing wrong? What you could be doing better? Just asking yourself those questions and let you. letting your body feel the emotion in a natural state. We don't do enough of that.

Oh, I 100% agree. I think it's super important that we start each day, for lack of a better word, with a ritual or a practice, right? I mean, how are you starting your day in a way that you're setting yourself up for success? And I don't mean success like money or status or any of those things. That's not the success I'm talking about. I'm talking about how do you set your day up so that you can be in the flow of whatever is? How do you set yourself up so that you can start in peace and, excuse me, in gratitude, in

stillness, in peace of mind. And by peace of mind, I mean quieting the chatter in our brain. Like, where do you, how do you set yourself up for that? You know, some people, it's, you know, exercise. And I do that as well. But I start with a visualization and a meditation. And then I exercise. And then I like to read or listen to something that speaks to my soul.

Like something that gets me into a deeper place where I begin to think about what's really important in this world versus. And it's kind of like digging down. for the real why, right? So we talk about what I'd like to see in our world, you know, like, oh, I'd love to have a six-figure income. I'd like to have this kind of car. I'd like to live in this neighborhood, those sorts of things or relationships or whatever. But it's digging even deeper behind that. Why do we want, why do you want the bigger house? Why do you want that car? What is the real reason behind it? And in my thinking, and what I believe is the truth is we want the, those things because of how we think we're going to feel when we have them. And my way of doing

things is let's feel those ways now because we have zero guarantee beyond this very moment that there's any life beyond it. So if we truly believe that this was the only moment, we would not waste our time doing a lot of the things that we do and worrying about a lot of the things that we worry about because they would be not interesting or not important. Completely agree. Like what you just touched on is a big problem why we're not satisfied with our choices that we make. It's almost there's a paradox to it where we have too many choices and something that's so simple. So whether you make the decision on having the blue pants versus the brown pants or the yellow pants, there's over 50 different colors.

And it's like, damn, I knew I should have got the red ones. Didn't even cross your mind. It's a problem. But I feel like nobody's going to see it unless they can hear it. And then they can resonate that and then apply it in their life realms. start to implement it and act accordingly. Well, and I think it's super important. You brought up that having so many choices, right?

We are bombarded with a lot of information these days, certainly more than when I was growing up. And that can be challenging. But that's why I believe things like having a practice first thing in the morning is important because if you can get in alignment with yourself and then you can let the flow of your day look how you want it to and you won't get distracted by those things you know by the you know I find myself it's so easy to get distracted especially as an entrepreneur I just from what you said earlier like I get that

there's just so much to do right and and there's so much to be distracted by and I find myself throughout the day going, no, you know, get back on track. Nope, get back on track, right? And some people don't have those disciplines. And I've been an entrepreneur for over 20 years. And those are the kind of disciplines that you have to have in order to be an entrepreneur because you don't have anybody over your shoulder telling you what to do and giving you feedback. And so getting, and I don't mean rigidly, but like getting focused and having clarity on, you know, where, where am I going and why? Again, back to the why, like the deeper why, that, you know, how is this going to affect my family and, and those, those wives. And is this going to bring me, well, one of the human

experiences that I know that is most important is helping others. I mean, who doesn't feel good when you help somebody else, right? And so where am I showing up there? Like how is this going to help others in my life? And am I becoming the person that my having a deeper understanding of myself and becoming the person that I want to be because being who you want to be, like practicing that way of being, is a vibration that attracts that same vibration. So if there are parts of your life where you're thinking, you know, I don't have deep meaningful relationships or I don't have the business that I'd like to have or I don't have whatever the things are. And don't get me wrong. I like things too. Then those are the areas where you have

to show up in the way that you want the future you is. Yes. And then it comes to you. It's not the other way. We were sort of given that line of, you know, seeing as believing. It's actually the opposite. It's believing that creates the thing, not the seeing of it. And if you're waiting for the seeing of it, it's going to be a very long wait. I love that point you touched on is the fact that we have to live our future selves in the now to get the results that we desire. I think that is extremely important and we can forget that almost instantaneous when our emotions are impacted because it's we don't ever get that perfect day, that perfect routine seven days a week. There's always going to be something that happens that takes you off track

and then you have to pivot and act accordingly to keep moving forward. People struggle with that. I do. personally. I got to have my morning routine if I don't. I just feel off balance. Like today, I definitely feel off balance right now. So there are other practices that, so one of the things I think is super important is meditation. The reason that meditation is important, and it's not about the woo-woo anything. There's so many, there's so many benefits to meditation, physically, emotionally, spiritually, all those things. We've heard about a lot of them. There's even more than you can imagine. I mean, you can literally, like, lower your blood pressure and do all the things, right? But the biggest piece about meditation is the quieting of the mind, which is a practice. I'm not going to

lie. I was that person for years that was in reaction to everybody and everything. My mind was going a million miles an hour with all the things and how can I, you know, come up with solution to all the things. And the reality is, is that is a horrible way to live. It brought me zero happiness. But when I began to meditate, and it was rough at first, right? Quiting the mind is huge. Now in my practice, I specialize in helping people with anxiety and overwhelm and worry because that's who I used to be and I had an anxiety disorder. And when I was able to figure out how to overcome it, I thought, you know, I need to help other people do this because I literally like hold myself up in my apartment for almost a

year. Oh, God. Many years ago. So, so what I know about people who are stuck in anxiety, worry, and overwhelm is that they're overthinking, right? The mind is just going bananas, right? Mm-hmm. So meditation is the best way to slow that down and to create quiet.

And what comes from the quiet is peace and stillness. I remember, I went, I was involved with seminar company for about a decade. And I remember when I first started taking their seminars, before I started working with them. I was at a seminar. It was seven days. And we were mostly through, like it was out on their ranch in California. And this was, they call it, it was like an outdoors day that was sort of to mimic, like, all the work we had done, how we could sort of push ourselves, right, to do some things.

And we're out there doing those things. And at the end of the day, I was completely exhausted. And there were three different stations and there were three different teams. And one of the teams was still finishing up. So they took the other two teams and they said, wait here. And they put us on silence. So we're not allowed to talk. Right.

And I remember laying down in the dirt and looking up at the sky was blue, no clouds in the sky. And all of a sudden, it was quiet. Like there was nothing. Like I was emotionally, spiritually, physically spent. There was nothing left. And I'd had a similar experience before when I was training for a half marathon where I had, you know, been exercising for several hours straight. And all of a sudden, because I used to use running as my way to like work through all the stuff, right?

Just work through all the problems. And then, you know, I would feel better. And when I was, I went on, I think it was like an eight mile run and I just, all of a sudden, I literally stopped in my trucks because I had not another thought in my mind. And it freaked me out, you know, because I was so used to thinking and thinking and thinking. And so that's kind of the disease, if I can call it that, of this anxiety worry overwhelm is this overthinking, overthinking. And it doesn't have a resolution, right? It's not the kind of thinking where you go, I have a problem. Here's a solution.

Let me find a solution, right? It's that we just, I call it circular thinking, right? You just keep thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. And there's no solution in sight. So it's just like whirling around in your head, right? So I'll teach you a little strategy right now for that. If that sounds like something you think you'd like to know. Yeah.

So what I tell people is that. that is a habit that we get into, right? Is this overthinking? And the brain is happy to do it because it likes habits, subconscious mind, loves habitual stuff. And as humans, we like habit too because we know it. It feels comfortable, right? So what we have to do because this has actually become a default setting, right?

Because it's just like, oh, problem, let me overthink it, do the circular thinking, never come up with a thing. And then all of a sudden, when you stop thinking about it, about it, what happens? The answer comes. So you're in the midst of the circular thinking. You recognize it, right? So awareness has to happen. You're like, oh, this doesn't feel good, right? So it's emotional feeling. I don't feel good. Why don't I feel good? Because I'm thinking these same thoughts over and over again. And then you want to disrupt that, right? And so there's a couple ways that I do it. One of which is I say a louder in my head, depending on where I'm at,

that's not true. So whatever it is, doesn't even matter. All it does is it stops your brain from going, oh, I can't do that anymore. So I say that's not true. If it begins again, it starts again, because sometimes subjects are dug in, right? It starts again. I say that's not true. And I say it just like that, that's not true, which is disruptive enough because your brain is kind of going like, what? That's not what we normally do. Like, what's going on here? You know? If it's something that's real dug in and it keeps going, then I will say enough and I'll snap my fingers. And then my brain goes, wait a minute, something's happening here. This is not okay. And that's just enough. So that enough is like basically telling, it's like when you're scolding a

small child, you're like, that's enough. You know, don't say that. Don't, don't. behave like that, don't, you know, that's what you're wanting to do. You want to disrupt that line of thinking every time you hear it or can feel it. Like sometimes it's a feeling like physically you're having a response physically or emotionally. You're like, oh my God, like I just can't stop thinking about this thing. This thing's making me crazy, right? So you're just like, enough. And then sometimes I'll even have a conversation with myself out loud. I'll say that is enough, that is not interesting, that is not worth your time, that is not whatever the things are, right? So you're defending the other side. And what happens after a while is your brain stops doing that

because it's just a habit. There's nothing to it more than that. But like most things, change comes about from awareness first, which is sort of the easy part, right? I don't feel good. This doesn't feel good. Second is a strategy or tool, which I just taught you. And third is the practice of it. You must practice it because you've been practicing this other way so long. You've got to practice a new way long enough for that to be the new norm. And so I challenge you and your listeners to think about how I can disrupt certain patterns of thinking that way often enough that it stops being a habit and and you begin a different way of being. I like this what you pointed out because it's almost like

kind of trading vices, replacing one bad behavior for another bad behavior, but in this case, good behavior. And what I see, it's really positive, but also it can be very dangerous if you don't act on it accordingly in the very beginning is the fact that when you have these thoughts, and you're trying to control them.

First, you have to recognize it and then acknowledge it and then say that's enough. But if you were to counteract the verbal expression of saying that and still continue to go down that rabbit hole, then this new practice could be dangerous. So it's really important to be consistent with your words and not to go against it. Because otherwise it can put you right back on the same exact path that you're you currently are. Yeah, I mean, nobody loves the word change, right? Yeah. Like when I say, you know, nobody's going, yippie, change.

Right? And part of that is based in, you know, the subconscious mind is really only about survival. So it's constantly saying like, you know, we're. we're doing good, you know, we made it this far. Like, well, I don't, they'll rock the boat, right? And so there's that piece. I mean, resistance is the biggest piece to transformation in my estimation. Resisting what is. Because we love to do that, right? That's how we, that's our way of being is, you know, let me try and make this circumstance or this person act how I want them to, you know, let me make this person in front of me, you know, drive the speed limit, use their signal,

or they're going to make me upset, right? But why do you think that is the biggest problem is resistance? Do you think it's a fear of losing control within themselves? Resistance. Okay. So resistance is, resistance is the inability. to allow what is to be, basically. It is you wanting or needing.

This is based on beliefs, right? This is, you know, beliefs come about at a young age. They happen from things that happen in our history, incidents like it can. could be something as simple as a teacher saying, be quiet. And then all of a sudden, you're, as the child, you're going, oh, I don't, I don't get to speak. I don't have a voice. I don't matter. Right. So that's where beliefs come from. And those beliefs are where we make decisions from all day long every day. To this day, without awareness, you're making decisions

based on what you think this life means from that five-year-old child, which as adults doesn't make sense. But because nobody teaches us any of this stuff, we don't have awareness around it. Right. So that piece is basically telling us what is acceptable. Now we go into life with these belief constructs, and then if people don't show up or circumstances don't show up how we have decided they are supposed to be, based on this history, then we have issue with it.

So then we begin to expect everybody to behave accordingly. And if they don't behave how we want them to, then we get to blame them for making us feel mad, upset, angry, frustrated, whatever the things are. So that's resistance to what is. And what I'm asking is for you, to understand that when you have a low-level experience, that has zero to do with anybody else, has everything to do with you and the lenses or the filters that you put up to see this world.

And that's the beliefs, is those filters, like, how do I see this world? And so that's where the resistance comes from. And without that knowledge, you will continue to be in resistance. to what is because you will assume that everybody and every circumstance is sort of out to get you, right? That you are at the mercy of those circumstances, people, events, whatever. And you cannot get past that until you understand this. Because your filters or lenses that you see this world in are yours alone and they are based

on your history. Does that make sense? Oh my God, that makes perfect sense. I resonate with that tremendously. Like that is my life. It's like subliminal internal dialogue that is based off my social upbringing. And of course, what's led me into, I think, is self-axilization currently. I know there's still room for me to continue to grow.

and to get the right mindset. And those little thoughts play a huge impact. And as the result, I am projecting my past onto the world. And there is a miscommunication in the delivery where I feel misunderstood and they feel misunderstood. And it's just like, why can't you hear me? I'm telling you this. It's not coming across. Like, what am I saying that you don't get?

And that is all because of our own internal struggle that we live every day and have not accepted yet, have not dug into the root of our own problems that still haunt us. Yeah, I mean, you hit it on the head. I did a post recently on Instagram because there's a couple of spiritual leaders that I really resonate with. And I think I teach a lot of the same things they teach. And one of the things he was saying was return to sender. He's like everything is returned to sender, right? It's like you think it's the other person, but nope, it's you again. you think this relationship's not working out, nope, it's you, right? It's not them. And that's the thing is we do. We go out in this world and we project all of our stuff on everybody else all day long in the attempt to make them right with us versus us being right with us. The relationship you want to nurture in this life is the one with you. That's the one that has all the goods.

That's what creates the relationships with others that you want to see. It's when you are so right with you, you are so ironclad internally that nobody or nothing can penetrate the internal experience of joy. And joy is our birthright. We are meant to be in joy all day long every day. So finding the joy within you and then figuring out how to cultivate it daily is what. what I call conscious evolution. And that is what we're all after. And that is what is our birthright.

It is ours to have. It's just nobody talks about this stuff or very few people talk about it. Some people do talk about it. No, like this is what we're addressing. I love it. And like I'm, I want to embrace my vulnerabilities as my authentic self and live it. Like I'll tell everybody I have issues.

Like I, if I don't get my morning routine, I am an unhappy individual and I will take it out on whoever's around me and that's not the person I want to be and it just happens. And that's the only way I know how that just comes off as my younger self. And that's something you have to be consistently and consecutively working on it. It sounds like a one month fix and then it's gone. It's like the rest of your life you will apply this application. I mean, that's the gifts, right? The gift is when you have that experience, it's just like, so I liken it to addiction.

We all have addiction to things. Yes. Some people it's, you know, social media, some people it's drugs, alcohol, sex, everything, food, right? Sleeping. The addiction that we're speaking of is this addiction. to habit, right? And so when you can get awareness, which is what this platform is for, right? This is why you have this platform, awareness, right? Yes, man. And you have awareness. You just told me you have awareness. This hat when, when my morning doesn't look this way, then I become this other person. So the

challenges, I don't know if you know anybody who's, you know, overcome a drug or alcohol addiction. You know, they don't, they map it out for you. There's AA, but there's no AA for this habitual thinking and pattern of behavior that we do. This is your AA right here right now. You must, in order to get conscious, have the awareness that this is your pattern. And when you have that happen, your day doesn't start how you want it to, you have to make different choices. You can't keep making the same choice. I know that sounds very like superficial, but that is the reality. That's the practice is to go, okay, I have awareness that when my day doesn't start this way, then I become this angry person. I don't want to become that angry person anymore. So I have to

stop being the angry person. I have to find a solution or strategy or some sort of tool to not be that. If that means I need to stop what I'm doing, go back to my morning. ritual, do that in the middle of the day so that I can the rest of the day be a kind human being towards those around me, then that's what I have to do. Or if I need to meditate for a moment so that I can clear my mind and then get back at it, right? You cannot, it is not okay past today, if anybody's listening to this, to have a bad day. You are not allowed to have a bad day moving forward because what's causing that bad day is the biggest gift for you. Your emotional response to people or circumstances is your gift.

Go within. Do not blame them for this. This is you taking responsibility for you, getting to know you, the deepest parts of you, and going, okay, they are not responsible. That person not using their turn signal is not responsible for me yelling at them. I'm responsible for that. So if I'm responsible, where is that coming from? So you have to start asking yourself these questions.

Why am I angry if my day doesn't start out this way? Why am I angry that that person is stuck in the middle of the intersection? Why am I honking at them? That is ridiculous, right? Yes. So these are the questions that you keep asking yourself. And you will find answers your anger response? I'm speaking in general sense for everybody.

But yes, but for me, I do, if I haven't slept and I'm grinding it out and I still can't get it how I want it to happen, I need to just walk away. But I'm hardheaded and I'll keep pushing myself and pushing myself. And that's something that I struggle with every day. I need to know when. That's the piece. When you have that awareness, do. something different. I don't care what it is. Jumping jacks for 10 seconds. Anything to disrupt those patterns. I mean, think about it. I know that you've had days where you're totally in the flow.

You get everything done. You're like, wow, that was super easy. How did that all happen? Right? Because that's when you're in alignment. Just think if you could be that way all the time. grinding it out does absolutely no good to anybody. First of all, the intention is not there, right? Which is huge. Intention is like everything. Yes. Right?

That's part of the why, right? That's the deep why intention. Why do I want to provide this platform? Because I want to help people become the best version of themselves, right? You're dressing your purpose internally and delivering. Yes, all the time. Get it in the first. alignment with that on a moment by moment basis while you're doing your work is a very different

experience than grinding it out, no? You're definitely 100% right on that. I mean, we all know it's like, it's funny because I have client. I mean, I'm a business coach. I'm mostly just a mentor. Like people contact me to help change that internal experience. But because I've been an entrepreneur for so long, and I know all the business. and stuff too.

I have this conversation all the time with clients because we are so, like we think, especially here in America, that grinding it out is the thing. If I put in 12 hours a day, then I must be a rock star. Then success is inevitable. Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you're not in alignment with what you're doing, success is not inevitable. You can keep grinding and grinding and grinding. Well, I think the mindset behind that is,

grinding out for 12 hours is because they see a return on their investment for being at their job. For 12 hours, I get X amount back. It's not about what they accomplish, but they're just so focused on the return that is based off short-terminism of the finances, but they don't see the long-term aspects, the growth in their character, the growth in their creative projects, the growth in their company, The growth in all of that. They're only focusing on the money. Well, I'll tell you this. I saw this documentary about Ducati, the motorcycle manufacturer.

And they're in Italy. They get nine weeks paid vacation. So there's that. They don't start work until like nine or ten in the morning. And they have two hour break in the middle of the day for all of them to go home and spend time with their family having a meal and, you know, taking a nap or whatever, and then they go back to work. They work significantly less hours per day. I think on average they work like six hours a day versus our supposed eight and we get rewarded for 10 or more, right?

They compared that to a factory in the U.S. and they were exponentially more efficient in Italy than we were in the U.S. with almost double the hours. Think about you can only be in the flow for so long, right? You can only be in that sweet spot where you're getting like the good stuff done for so long. We think, you know, here in America, it's always bigger, better, you know, right? More. It's not. I mean, you talk to people who are at work for 10 hours a day versus like back in the day,

like decades ago, they spent eight hours a day. And those eight hours were like consistent work. It's now if I, if I'm at the office for 10 hours or if I'm grinding out in my business for 10 hours, whatever, there's a lot of fluff in there that's not being accounted for. And here's what I like to say to that. The time that you spent away from the people that mean the most of you, most to you in your life, if it is not an equal exchange of time, meaning, okay, I grind out 10 hours at the office. I'm not as efficient. I'm maybe efficient for six of those hours of the 10.

Four hours lost. Four hours I could have spent with my kids, with my significant, other with doing things that I love, you know, I say we work half as much, but when we get to work, we are at work 100 percent aligned with our big why in the background, doing the things, getting them done in an efficient way because there's no distractions. And then that time is well spent. And then we don't feel guilty that we didn't spend time with the people that we love because it's a direct exchange. You're doing work that is bringing a consciousness to people.

That's beautiful work. That does that's good work. It only fills you up, it fills up other people too. That's also exponentially going out. It's the, you know, the drop of water in the pond. Exponentially, we can't, we can't know all the things, right? We can't know how this is effective. You have no idea whether somebody's listened to your show and got a tidbit and decided not to kill themselves today because they heard that one thing they needed to hear, right?

So I want to encourage you to keep doing these things because the problem is that we don't get the feedback we would like to have that the things that we're doing matter, right? Agreed, 100%. You don't know when you say, when you greet somebody on the street or the checker at the grocery store, when you look them in the eye and you say, how are you today? What that means to them? They may have, you know, whatever. Husband just got a cancer diagnosis.

Kids sick or not doing well or, you know, depressed or whatever. It's like we don't know these things. If we knew, if we got that kind of feedback all the time, how much kind of. or would we be in this world? But we don't get it. So we just have to understand that it's there, that what we do and who we are matters. And when we behave that way,

guess what happens? It matters even more. And that's why this platform and these conversations are that important. Agreed. And you can apply these models in numerous different aspects. And then it becomes a self-licking ice cream cone where it starts to, go around and you can see it.

You can see it in real time happening, not just to you, but the people you interact with. And I believe that's the law of reciprocity. Yeah. I mean, it's the same as sometimes when I'm walking around with my daughter or walking the dog or whatever, I'll say every time somebody comes by us, let's smile and see what happens. And we smile. And then sometimes I'll say, why don't you say hi, how are you? And we do that.

And guess what? people smile. They want to smile. We want to greet each other. We're meant to be in community. We've had some, you know, challenges this year, certainly with being in community. But man, have we come together on some things, you know? And we're meant to be in community as humans because that's, you know, it's part of our nature.

And so why not do that in any way that you can all day long? You know, I mean, what harm is it to smile at somebody that walks by every single time and look them in the eye? And for that matter, look people in the eye all the time. I mean, how often do we look down when people pass us or we're just, you know, doing our errands or whatever? You know, let's let's acknowledge each person as they exist. You know, that's all we really want as humans is to be acknowledged that we have value, that we matter. I mean, what a huge ripple that is. Agreed.

100%. With your business focus, what exactly do you do for entrepreneurs? Do you, is there a certain area you specify in monetizing their niche? Or is it more of a well-rounded system? So you mean in terms of like coaching of things? Yes, ma'am. Yeah. So I'm really more interested in the monetary part that comes with the alignment and the mindset and all of that.

Like that, when you get aligned with you and the deepest part of you, those things come, but they actually mean so much less. Because when it comes down to it, it goes back to that thing again, right? where it's like, why do we want the things? Why do we want the money? Because we think it's going to bring us security, right? And so it's that feeling that we're looking for is security. But, you know, spoiler alert, there is no security. Right?

So it's like, so I like to concentrate on what I call deathbed stuff, which is, which is, Sorry, my video went weird. Which is, you know, when you're on your deathbed, you're not thinking like, I wish I had worked more hours. I wish I had worked harder. I wish I had amassed more money. I wish I'd amassed more things, right? You're thinking, I wish I'd had deeper, meaningful relationships with people.

I wish I had deeper, meaningful relationship with myself. I wish I had spent more time and created more memories, right? That's the stuff. And so the work that I do, I work with, you know, successful entrepreneurs that have been in business for a long time, that they've got the money thing nicked. They're just lacking the experience that they want in life. You know, they're lacking the, how do I get through each day without being constantly stressed out and overwhelmed by all of the things that it takes to be in business.

And oftentimes the people that I work with are in some sort of transition, like they want to be able to step away from their business more or retire or have a succession plan or figure out what their legacy is. Like what am I building here? Why am I building this thing for 20, 30 years that's making me good money, but I don't have, there's no meaning for it for it in me anymore. or in me for it anymore. Do you have any guidance or advice for those that haven't thought about those

future decisions for early entrepreneurs, people that are starting up, it's best to start planning things now. What kind of questions could you pass along to those people? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I work with, I do, I have worked with, entrepreneurs that are just starting out. And what I will tell you is it is, it's exciting to get business. And you can run yourself ragged doing all the things for all the people.

But if you will get very aligned and very in touch with why you're doing what doing. And I am talking about the more superficial in terms of what is the service or product that you're selling, but also like the underlying why that we've been talking about. Like have that forefront, if like written down on your computer, on the wallpaper of your phone. So you can remind yourself on a regular basis who you're servicing and why you're doing what you're doing because you can get easily distracted by the shiny things, right? And what I found when I first started building businesses was that, you know, I would do all the things for all the people. And it really was super stressful and totally unnecessary.

after 10 years of doing business, I decided that I was no longer going to, I had just made a decision that I was not going to provide service for anybody who didn't appreciate the service, my staff, or myself. And that was a huge transition for me. That was not something in the past I would just put up with a lot of things, you know, people screaming at me on the phone and, you know, getting upset about ridiculous things. And I don't know about 10 years into the business that I sold a few years ago, I just said enough. Like, I am not your punching bag, you know. And then I got really clear about what my business was really good at doing and then executing that. And when people called and put that shiny object in front of me, I just went, you know, this is not a fit for me. Sometimes I would try it out for one or two times and then I would go, yeah, no,

this is not my thing. So what I'm saying is get so clear on who you are, what you're providing, and why you're doing it. And that way you won't get distracted by the shiny thing that comes by that says, oh, but for me, could you do just this one other little thing? You can say no, actually, with clarity. Because what ends up happening is when you get distracted like that, it brings a lot of heartache, right? So they complain about things because it's not how they want to. And so when you get super clear, then you just know. And then you can just look at your list of this is what we do.

This is why I'm doing it. And when somebody puts the shiny object in front of you, you can with clarity and intention, either say no, or you can with also clarity and intention, go, I'm willing to try this. This might go in another direction. let's see. But if it doesn't, we'll try it out for a bit and then we'll go, nope, this is too distracting. Get back to square one, right? Get back to what I know we're good at. And that's the thing is you know as a business owner what you're good at and what you can provide and stop trying to provide things that you're not good at. Right. And you can try some things on because I'll tell you I did try some things on. My business evolved over the almost 20 years that I had it. but don't get so desperate that you take whatever because it'll distract you from your why and what you're good at, right?

And you want, it's not a reputation in terms of like, you know, I mean, obviously do everything in integrity because that's the right thing to do. But also don't get distracted. It's just, it's too easy to get distracted. This is an abundant world. There's no need to live in lack. the next thing, you know, because that's the other thing is that space that's taken up by this client that doesn't fit your MO is space that could be filled with a client that does. Do that make sense?

Oh, yes. That is really powerful words right there. For those that hear this, where can they go to find more information about you and what you do? So you can go to my website, which is Aaron, E-R-I-N-M-A-C-com. There's a ton of information on there. I do free consults, and I always love to provide value. And I love to talk to any, you know, any entrepreneur or business leader that's interested in any tidbits. I give away free content all the time.

and the free consultation is free. There's no, it's not a sales call. It's not any of that. It's how can I be of service? What can I help you do? What perspective can I help you see? And then if you other, the other free content that I provide all the time is on my Instagram,

which is Aaron Mac, LLC. I do videos all the time. Strategies. There's all kinds of information on there. And if any of this speaks to you, please, you know, take advantage of that stuff. I think it's great and I think we're all headed in the same direction. If this spoke to you at all, you are on that path.

Don't give up. It is the path less traveled, but it is worth it. Because I live this life every day in joy almost exclusively. And that is our birthright. And that is what I want for everybody. And it's possible. So don't give up. If I'm not the person to teach that to you,

keep seeking seek and seek and seek you will find that person well excellent Aaron that is just just a wealth of knowledge that you shared with us today I do appreciate you come on your transformation station thanks Greg thanks for having me appreciate it too anytime I can have these conversations it's a blessing so Aaron it turned it was supposed to be an introduction and somehow turned into a whole episode there I thought that was pretty interesting on all the knowledge because you just kept going with just great information and it's like I kind of don't really want to stop. I kind of want to keep flowing with it. Nice. That's excellent. Yeah. I thought that first five minutes in and then I was like, okay, well, let's just have this

conversation. Exactly. Yes. Those are the best, right? I mean, that's when things are in flow and you just have the, you know, and I didn't have to, because sometimes I do a lot of interviews. So, for me it's uh i think sometimes i you know so people have an agenda and they're like oh we want to talk about these things or whatever and that's fine um but i mean almost the conversation is so much better when it's just off the cuff and you know an exchange of energy and ideas did you get everything in there that you wanted to get in there i think so okay yeah i just wanted to make sure that you were able to just get your niche out there and highlight them. So if you wanted to do another episode, I'm all in.

Yeah, I'm all in. I'm happy to do anything. If there's something that you think would speak to your audience, you know, if you had an agenda that you want to talk about, I'm up for that too. I've been doing this for like 16 years in terms of coaching business people, entrepreneurs. And I do think it's important. The reason I work with entrepreneurs is because I love entrepreneurs. They're like they're crazy, you know, to go outside of the box and, you know, do the hard thing, which is create something because you're passionate about it is phenomenal.

And I want to encourage that as much as possible. And there's nothing wrong with being an employee, too. That's great, too. If that, you know, flood your boat. But I have never, well, it's not sure I have been that. But I don't think I would be good of it now. Agreed. But if you think that there is a topic that you want to talk about in terms of entrepreneurship or. Yes, man. I would love to focus on an episode to. hit entrepreneurship and understand their mindset and how it differs from an average individual who goes to work a nine to five job. What is the difference between the mentalities? Because I want to look at what if there's a relationship from somebody, the husband or wife doesn't matter.

They're the entrepreneur and the other individual is providing for the family. So they're doing a nine to five. I want to talk about the different lifestyles and how that can just interact with each other and how we can provide guidance to those two people living and how they can live effectively and maintain that relationship status. I think that would be really something that could hit home. Yeah. I think it's challenging for the non-entrepreneurs. to understand the drive behind the entrepreneur, right? I mean, I think that it's not the norm. But what I'll say is this life is there's no guarantees.

So if, you know, it goes back to that exchange of time, right? It's like if the exchange isn't equivalent, then at least equivalent, if not more, then is it worth it? You know, for some people, the thought of sitting in an office, me included all day for eight hours a day and the same space with the same people around me doing stuff on a computer or whatever is sure death, you know, of my like spirit. And, you know, like I got to move around. I got to like get up and do stuff. And I like the idea of being able to dictate my time, right? So sometimes the choice is I'm going to support my daughter in something versus working, even if it's during work, you know, work hours.

And the other is, you know, just being able to, you know, just being able to you know, now that we can, well, and a lot of us are working from home anyway, you know, now I can say, okay, well, she has this activity that we need to handle this thing, and then I can later on I'll go ahead and do some work or not work. I mean, that's an option too. Like, I think that entrepreneurs get so crazy working so much that we forget to just take a day off, you know, because we can work all the time. There's always something to be done always.

Oh, yes. And I think one of the biggest challenges for entrepreneurs is focus. You know, and I sort of was, that's what I was kind of hitting on with the like, get so invested in your why and the service or whatever product or whatever you're providing that when you, and aligned, I mean, literally just like there's a practice to start in your day, There's a practice to starting your workday too, right? It's okay. What's my intention today?

What am I about to try and get done? And then recognize when you're beating your head against the wall and it ain't happening. You know, recognize that this is not that moment. We're not going to get that thing done today. And it's okay. It will get done. Like I recognize I've been working. I was working a lot.

because I have several businesses. And one of the things that I've been working on for like seven years just finally came into complete flow and all the things just lined up. And I was like, whoa, that just happened. But it required a whole ton of work on top of this, my consulting business. And I was like, you know, my default setting is to be, you know, talking about addictions, is work too much, right? And so knowing that about myself, you know, Thanksgiving came up and I went, oh, okay, well, so Thursday's off and Friday was off. And then I took Saturday and Sunday off. And then Monday came around and I was like still in a funk. And then Tuesday, I just busted out like everything all at once. And so that's kind of how it works. But if you allow yourself, to be in the flow rather than budding against, I would have spent several days not, you know, unhappy trying to get stuff done. And I've been working on, I'm in a marketing class right now,

and I'm working on putting together a summit. Well, I hadn't really started yet, and I needed to find the information to get started, like to put together my funnels and stuff. And I kept putting it off, and it was kind of in the back of my mind. And then this morning, I like got up, found it immediately and God started immediately. So it's allowing yourself just because you can work all the time, don't, you know, don't. It's not worth it. If you will give yourself the option, if you find yourself butting up against it, walk away, take a day off and enjoy it. I took several to I took almost like five days off in a row. And I was just like, wow, really? And I've been sleeping a lot, which is great because I exerted a whole ton of energy. And then I could. Then I could just go,

okay, that's fine. I'm just going to sit back for a minute and take it in. And now I'm ready to go. And because I took that, you know, I'll probably work through the weekend, no big deal. Because I've, you know, taken that time. And so that's one of the things. like be really clear about the time you're spending and make sure that the time that you're spending is spent in flow. If it's not in flow, it's not worth it. There's one thing I wanted to say, and I just wanted to get clarification on, and then we can wrap this up. The thing that came to my head when you're telling me pretty much to stop and smell the roses was sometimes it's okay to work under pressure, meaning to procrastinate.

to the last minute, enjoy your life and do the best that you can to the extent of the situation that you're in and deliver it and move on. That's what you heard. Well, I'm trying to look at it from numerous different ways, but as far as to enjoy your life and huge deadlines, we make it so huge in our head that it's much bigger than it actually is. But also, what I'm seeing is enjoy your life, spend time with the family, pet the dog, go out to dinner with the wife, and put work last, but everything else first, and it will fall in line. That's kind of what I'm looking at it. I think that when you can find joy and all the

things that you do, then it doesn't become delineated like that. But, So yes, right? Those are the things. If we truly lived our life as though this moment was the only moment we are guaranteed, which it is, it would be a very different way we lived and worked about our days, right? There would be so much more meaning in every moment. And, you know, stop to smell the roses. You have, like, that is so profound.

There's a focusing exercise that I ask people to do a lot and I'll just share it with you. If, you know, like you were saying, you know, my date and started out how I wanted to. So one of the things, you know, they always talk about being in the present moment. Like that's the thing, right? That is the thing. Literally, that is the thing. Because again, we only have this moment. If I only have this moment, then I want to be here now so that I can experience.

We let so much time go by where we're not connected to people, our why, what we're doing, how we're spending our time, right? So this exercise is super easy and it always brings me back to the space of alignment, which is to really focus on one thing. So like I have a point set at right here on my desk. and what I would do is, or you could do anything, a flower, could stare out the window at a tree, look at it moving, look at all the things, right? I want you to focus in on this thing as though it's all that exists in the world. So like really look at the details of it. Look at all the veins and the leaves and the colors and be in awe and wonderment of, you know,

how did nature create this thing? And when you do that throughout your day regularly, then you can be present. And I mean present in your body, present in your conversations, present in your intention, present in what you're doing, right? Like that kind of presence is the experience. But we're so focused on the future we're trying to create that we aren't here. And it's challenging to be here. And then we get distracted by people or circumstances, and then we're in the past.

Right. So the past is all the bad stuff that doesn't feel good. And the future is all the bad stuff that doesn't feel good. Or possibly the stuff that you do want that might feel good, but we don't bother to feel that either, right? Because we're like grinding away, trying to get to that, right? Regarding saying that we're grinding. It's written inside me. But I get with what you're saying as far as I'm reading this book, among many other books,

and it relates with art appreciation. As far as just spending five minutes staring at a painting and looking at every single detail, the ripple effect on your day-to-day life can be very profound. You can start to recognize after doing this for consecutive amount of days and being consistent, you actually know the number of stairs you go up and down every day. I'm sure we can ask somebody who lives on a flight of stairs. How many stairs do you climb up every day? They don't have an answer to that.

And that's the thing. Like be taking a shower, be washing your hands, be eating that food, right? We do all these things unconsciously all day long. And that's another practice. But the thing is, is what I was getting at earlier is with these ideas, you can no longer have a bad day, right? I gave you a focusing idea, right? So you're beating your head up against the wall, you're grinding it out or whatever. Then you take a minute and you stop and you look.

I mean, how many times in this conversation, the Christmas tree is like right beyond my point setta that's sitting here. And it's like, I've looked at it a billion times since we've. have this conversation. And I looked at all the things. Look at all the ornaments. Look at the lights. Look at the, you know, whatever that is, whatever you can do. For some of my, my clients, I'll say, like, I have a client that loves puppies. So she has pictures of puppies. So she's like, oh, this doesn't feel good. I'm not feeling good. I feel like I'm, you know, not in alignment. It feels like I'm beating my head against the wall, super resistance. Look at the puppy. I mean, who doesn't love puppies? Puppies are cute.

And it raises your vibration. And then you go, okay. So it's the ability to have the awareness to stop the habitual and create new practices. It's, you know, this doesn't feel good. I'm going to look at this puppy. Then I'm going to move back into my space. I'm going to get an alignment. I'm going to get with my why and what I'm providing back at it.

Right? Yes, ma'am. Versus just keep going, keep going. you know, it'll get done. Will it get done? Yeah, probably. But what kind of intention is behind that? You know, it's like it's not the right intention. We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in a new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. Every first of the month, we're doing prize giveaways. You want to get a part of that giveaway?

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