Your Transformation Station - 49. The Secret to Protecting Your Peace When Life Gets Toxic

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

Happiness isn't a mood, it's a framework. In the official session, we’re breaking down how to be intentional about your joy. We explore why 'loving from a distance' is a survival skill for your mental health and how to identify the specific triggers that fuel your energy. This is how you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start managing your mindset.  PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coming up on your transformation station, how can people recover from being disengaged and start getting back to being engaged? It's a really great question. And I said this, because it's really dependent on the style. But at the same time, it doesn't change. It's that equation. More work, more fun. And if you can't have fun, schedule something that you can look forward to. You know, when we have a mission, a purpose to ever working towards,

work stops becoming work. Welcome to your transformation station. It's your transformation station. We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in a new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host. Greg Favaza. A definition of success.

If I could go back, there's not many things that I will go back for, but... What do you do when you lose your purpose? It's okay to struggle. It's okay that you're not okay. I am your host, Greg Favaza. Together, we will go on a journey. This show is all about surpassing our internal dialogue. Rediscovering your trip.

identity. We have a new foresight. We have a chance to make the world a better place for our children. Start living in the example today and become your future self tomorrow. If you can leave our viewers with some good advice to follow, what would you let them know? These things that you're afraid to do? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your transformation station with your one and only, of course. Greg Favaza.

Suppose you're someone aspiring to learn how to connect to the world. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? This question is often what I think about. Your transformation station focuses on 30-day challenges, three-hour refinement, connecting clarity, the idealic life, interviews, investing your time. This is your transformation on how to decode ourselves through the realization of others. a transformative experience and establish our own transformation.

Now, let's get into this. We're tapping in to surpassing expectations from the most successful people in the modern day and honing in a new foresight, methodologies, and clairvoyance you never knew. This is your transformation station with your host, Greg Favaza. How are you doing today? Good, brother. What about you? I'm doing all right. I kind of just exhausted.

You know, it's been nonstop every day, every morning, every evening. You know, it's like, all right, let's just keep grinding. I think with podcast interviews or just other things? Podcast interviews. I'm starting to expand out. I'm creating merchandise, creating memberships, and just editing different podcasts, creating private content, just it's a lot.

It sounds like it's a lot. Doing it, but I'm still making it somehow. I can dig it. Don't forget. More work, more fun. Exactly. It's true. My first question for you is,

Vernon, what's your happy? Grocery stores. I love going to grocery stores. I kid you not, in different cities. I love it. Absolutely love it. That's my happy. Oh, yeah. Just to see the layout and see what you find the moment you walk in, the impulse by section.

God, I want to know what it's like. I know out in Texas, they would have like impulse spies for healthy food. Yeah. All the way out in fucking Missouri, you get these impulse buys for these fatty ass nasty foods. Like different candy, different fucking candy apples. I'm like, oh, get that out of here. We need some fucking. It's like the worst kind of pork ron. And like I thought, I remember when I traveled, it was what was it?

Yeah, candy apple pork rinds. Like, why? Like, why? Ew, that's just, oh, my candy. How about my pork ron. It tastes like candy or just get candy or get a pork ron. I want a hybrid. So, Vernon, let's introduce you.

Let's introduce you to the audience. You're a keynote speaker, a certified life coach, a happiness. coach. You started helping clients back about six years ago. Can you give us the definition of what a happiness coach is? Glad you asked. You know, for me, it's gosh, I don't want to say that I was the first person to come up with that title. I just know that everyone thought I was crazy when they heard my title. It makes me feel as well, I was one that kind of pioneered that. You know, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But for me, you know, do I do things, it's about leveraging happiness to get people to a better desired outcome, right? Because, you know, happiness for me is energy.

And the more energy you have, you know, I'm not saying energy in a weird way, but, you know, more solution focused and more positive, you know, you view things. It amplifies the things that you want as long as you're strategic. Like, focus on happiness is not the entirety of what I do. You know, some people come up to me and say, oh, you're the happy guy. And I'm like, no, I'm not the happy guy, you know. It's like, just because you're happy doesn't mean, you can be happy and be like, I don't know, do some, you know, very poor judgment things, right? You still need to have a plan.

You need to make sure that you're leveraging things. You need to make sure that you have the questions that really make you think and expand. So it's about getting you down to, you know, I mean, I do have my interventions with some things. I might, hey, what I've seen have worked in better. In certain circumstances, I might have those. But generally, you know the answers. You just need the right question to really get it out of you. I like that.

Having the right question to get it out of you. That is something I'm working on in my spare time. I'm trying to get a long, long list of questions. We all need to ask ourselves before we die. And I think it's really important. We learn these questions. And they should be passed along from our, elders from the people with the wisdom, but they're not.

And just getting the right question and asking ourselves can really do a lot for us. Now, my biggest question is, how does a happiness coach differ from a life coach? I think in our first conversation we talked about that. It's like that term life coach is, ugh, cringe. I never wanted to, you know, I was one of my biggest reservations about even pursuing you know, coaching because I never want to be compared to a life coach. It's, you know, I feel like that's such a broad term, right? It is. I feel like to say life. And for me to say, okay, I can coach you on life. I'm like, no, no, I, no, that's not the way this works.

You know, I like to have my sliver, which manages a lot, though. You know, I don't care who you are. We all always work in to be in our happy place. However, we define that, right? And happy doesn't mean, smiles and, you know, clicking your heels and jumping in air and high five in the mailman, you know, that doesn't mean necessarily happy. I'm sure those things do make you happy, right? But it's about, you know, I got me here and I can get me out of it. And, you know, letting people realize that it's, I don't have the answers. You know, I might have a couple of suggestions, sure, but it's you. And just focus on that happy and focusing on that is, I can't hope it's it again. It's the foundation of everything I do. I think one of the things I also know,

also differ from is the way to I approach business because I'm most of them I'm coaching entrepreneurs and business owners and so it's kind of um this a lot of my clients can call it I was looking at some testimonials it's the one shop you're growing your business and making sure you're taking care of yourself personally so what have you found in your last six years of clientele what was the biggest things that were coming up that grabbing your attention low energy hands down. And, you know, nobody is exempt. And this is such a fantastic question. You know, like no one is exempt from low energy. Any person with a heartbeat can experience it. You'll have lack of concentration, focused awareness are gone. You can start to isolate yourself.

Your communication become poor. You can become a little bit, you know, critical or judgmental. You'll start beating yourself up, right? You'll start having the, I don't want to curse, but, you know, that female dog voice that comes into your head and start saying that you can't do it, you start hearing that more. You'll start asking a lot of why questions. I do not ask why questions. Why questions diminish? Why questions, you know, lead to shame? You'll start asking those sort of questions.

And it can rob you of who you are because your cheap asset will start working against you. And what can happen is, you know, smart capable of person, right? You've got like yourself, when our energy gets low, we'll start doing things harder. like I've got to work longer now. I'm tired and I'm not getting a resulter once. So now I'm going to work longer hours and get up earlier. So you want to exhaust yourself more and expect to get double the results. What happens, you might get it for a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks.

And eventually it's going to get to its end, right? And now you're frustrated because it takes you two hours and it takes you three. And then because, you know, Nell is taking you three hours. You're getting frustrated. You start saying, well, what's wrong with me? Why am I not functioning? And you just start beating yourself up. all sorts of things are showing up depending on the style hands down over the last going six years going to my seventh now that has been the number one thing i see um daily and it's not picking on anyone i want to make sure i say that because all of us especially right now we've got so much you know crap going on right like the you know not to beat the horse but with so much uncertainty going on it makes us play small you know it makes us

not go all out. And it's great that we're all trying different things. Like, you know, just like we're talking about, you know, different projects that you have going on. It's great. It's just making sure that we're moving as smart as we possibly can. When energy gets low, strategic thinking is gone. It's completely gone.

You'll just get into action or get into motion thinking it's going to be lead to an action that's going to give you a result that you haven't really thought through clearly. But, um, yeah, I know, it's got a long way of answering that, but it's low energy, no doubt. No, that is. spot on right now i am suffering through this as far as with i'm a one-man army working this podcast trying to expand this into a business i want to help as many people as i can and i need to drive drive drive to get the results now with this mentality i know it's flawed thinking

it's what you just said i'm going to put in the long hours and get up early and like you said you can do it for such a long period of time. There's only, it's only extended to a certain point until your body just crashes. It's like a crash diet. Yeah, exactly. Workwise, how do I avoid this downward spiral? If you were giving me advice, you being my coach, I being your clientele, what would you tell me? All right, I take initiative.

I know one of the first things, again, it goes back to the questions. You know, you know, I seldom, I won't tell you what to do. I won't give you advice. I never do that. What I do is, you know, would you like me to walk you through how things are going to start looking long term and the cost of you going at this rate? And the next question I would be, what would we like if you could take a nap? Naps are delicious.

I'm taking a nap today, you know? I'm excited for a nap. But when was the last time you had a nap? About two weeks ago, it was before a recording, and I felt so refreshed afterwards. And before that, two weeks ago, I can't remember the time before that. When you were taking that nap, how long did you sleep? About 27 minutes, almost. Yeah, about 27 minutes, actually.

I like how accurate you are. What's your schedule look like today? My schedule, I got an interview with you currently right now, of course. and then I have one at 1215, which is just an introduction. And from there, it is going to be focused on research, where I will outline my week and look into next week as far as planning and outline my coming interviews. And then I'm going to work on the apparel of YTS as far as the clothing and work on putting that into the storefront, other than that.

And the gym, definitely the gym. Good deal. Can I make a direct request? Sure. You have 27 minutes in your day that I need for you to take for you. If you want to do research, your brain will be 10 times sharper if you took 27 minutes to get a nap in. What are your thoughts on that? If I'm a caffeine fanatic, what if it's difficult for me to get that 27 minutes in?

Take a break from what you're doing. Okay. your your brain is you know here's the beauty of it when we're working hard we're excited we're eager right we're like oh man i can see it coming you got so many different projects going on just remember um and i think we've even started with this it's more work more fun you know what i mean you don't have to you know it goes back to um albert no excuse not howbert insent i can't think of it oh my gosh who's got to make the light bulb i can't think of his name now uh Einstein no no that's um oh my gosh with the filament oh my gosh it's kicking me because Albert Einstein

when that was the genius oh wait I thought it was Albert Einstein I'm trying to think oh my gosh we could edit this out and make sure we get it right now it's going to bug me um who invented the light bulb Edison Thomas Edison there we go there we go thank you you phantom voice in the corner so thomas edison he was a great fisherman i mean he was the worst he was a horrible fisherman have you ever heard the story no i have none so thomas edison was known to go oh get a bamboo pole stick a string a bunch of string maybe like 12 14 18 inches i don't know however long and we'll put a hook in the water a hook on it and then put his pole in a water and so people would walk by when he's at like the pond and he like get no dag on fish right

and he's doing this day after day. He would go out there for like an hour and they were like, what are you doing? So finally someone walked up to him. And they said, why are you fishing without bait? It's smarter to fish with bait. And he said, well, he's like, when you don't use bait, the fish don't bother you and neither do people. And I'm like, what? Well, the first light bulb was made with a bamboo filament.

Phelament. He was able to go out there. And the moral of the story is, and he got to take a break from his work. to just think and just rest or relax and put them in a different surrounding. Like how fishing, I don't get, you know, fishing. I don't know if you ever been before, but you don't have to catch anything. But it's so relaxing. And we forget to take breaks like that, right?

We forget to sit back and I recognize that, you know, I drink caffeine just like everyone else, but just going out there and, you know, heading to the park or going out and watching a movie or watching just something. It kind of gives you a break from. It puts this thing at rest so this thing can relax because when this instincts kick in, when the instinctual takes over, because it's designed to keep you alive. It's not designed to keep you happy and coming up with great ideas. I'm figuring out smart strategic actions. It's only designed.

If I look busy, I'll feel like I've accomplished something, but that's not the case. But, you know, start to take breaks. I recommend to take some breaks or some sort. Entrepreneurs are notorious and myself included. I have purposely have put things in place to make sure I take breaks. It helps that I have a five-year-old who loves to play with Legos. He forces me to take a break, right? Because he's home with me.

But it's like, like we're going to be playing with Legos, you know, after I take my map. We're going to play with Legos. And it's just as once you get into Legos, you just rest and relax. Like, what do you like to do for fun? Hmm. What do it? See, now that is difficult to answer because my idea of fun is reading, going to the gym, growing myself one way, whether it's physically, mentally or spiritually, is my definition of fun.

Okay. Well, let me go a little bit deeper. It can involve buying or spending. It can't involve food or alcohol when it only can involve yourself. Does that narrow some things down? Hiking. When's the last thing with hiking? Shit, three days ago.

Oh, cool. Where'd you go? I don't know the name of the name of the... the park because I'd move back from Missouri a while ago, not too long ago. But it's about 10 minutes away from where I live. There's two different places I usually go to, but I rotate between each time I go. And it's really beautiful, enclosed in trees, very secluded. So I don't see as much traffic going through there. Yeah. Dude, I'm a huge fan of hiking. I'm a huge fan just getting out there and just being alone. Hell yeah. Being lost. I totally bought with you there.

What else do you like to do? It's been a hot minute, but I used to love to play racquetball. I did that for a long time when to state. And there ain't no place to do that in this area at the moment. Really just hearing myself talk. I mean, that's just... You know, it's such a funny thing. I think we've even talked about this.

One of the first things it goes, when we're excited. and working on something is fun. And we always want, and I've seen it so many times, so many times, you know, myself included, like, you know, I'm excited, you know, I just wrote a book. I'm so excited about that. I got a boot camp coming up. I got to own your happiness coming up. And all these things are going on.

And I'm so excited. I'm waking up at 3.30. I'm only wake up at 430 to go to gym. I'm getting up early because I'm so hyped up. But it's, we've got to build in some time where you can go, if you can't get an nap, just kind of go outside and be with nature. you know, read a fiction book. I would recommend a fiction book because as we're working on ourselves,

you still don't want to go to the land and make a belief, right? Just to kind of give your brain that space to be creative. You know, you came up with these ideas because it's creativity. So you need to make sure that muscle gets its rest and gets its practice as well, right? Yes. And also the caveat on that, it also gives us the ability to develop our consciousness to see things from another perspective,

to develop more emotional intelligence when you're able to view the world from numerous lenses. Yeah. Whatever you're happy is, whatever you can use of recharge, I really would challenge you to build more of it in there. You know, it's just whenever I'm working on something,

it's like, I've never done something before. I haven't, you know, just kind of let you know in my world. It's, you know, I've never done ads before. I've done ads before. I kind of failed, miserably, lost a few grand on it. And it just didn't seem like it worked. And I was saying that, you know, what the things I'm going to be doing, especially with COVID, you know, before I would just go speak, I would travel across the country.

Not that big of a deal, right? But now the landscape has changed to how we interact. And it's like, hey, I need to start looking at ads. Now, some people might call it serendipity, but I call the fact that I took a break. But I was sitting back and I was thinking like, what am I going to do? And I was like, just take an app, which sounds like kind of productive. If it sounds like you would think lazy, like, I need to figure this out. Go take a nap.

Okay. And lo and behold, wake up from a nap, me and my son go out and go to the playground, man, you run into this guy and guess what he does? Facebook ads. And he's very, very, very, very successful with it. And my big belief is, had I not taking that nap, maybe I would have went out earlier, maybe when I went out later. I know we'd seen each other multiple times, but we never stopped to have a conversation.

But I just think if I never took that net, what we had ever met, I had that type of conversation or, you know, would those things kind of lined up. It's just like those things keep happening when I'm rested. Because if I was maybe kept going, I might not have been as talkative. You know, kind of communication is going to drop significantly when we get more tired and we start wearing ourselves out. Yes. I see the ripple in that. I thought you were going to say that you took the nap. Once you woke up, you actually came to a conclusion of what you would do. But you definitely took a turn and it's a more organic, like, like outcome where you took a nap thus you're more energetic thus you're more social and then

the person saw they they came in contact with you and it just you vibed and then that's it starts to ripple everywhere when it's just a simple nap simple map simple map you know think you know when you want something right like let's just say you want i don't know like a red camero that's what you want right you just like you can see it you're like oh man's got to have leather I can't wait, you know, you're just pumped. And I mean, I know, people talk about the RAS, reticulate-activating system. All of a sudden, you start seeing red Camaro's everywhere. You start seeing the color red everywhere.

Yes. It's the same thing when we're, you know, it's the same thing when you want something for your business, for your personal life, for your love life, for whatever. You don't just see things differently. You hear other conversations that you would have never been keen to. If you're worn out, you're thinking about why I'm so tired, what's wrong with me? What's the next step? I hope I don't fail again. I hope I'm going to do this, I hope I do that.

When you're tired, these are the narratives you're hearing. Your ears aren't going to be working, right? It's because they enter voices is going to be louder. But when you're rested, you're sitting back and you're like, I'm going to figure this out. And then all of a sudden you hear a conversation and someone will say something. You're like, wait, wait, what about Bosch payers? No way. I was thinking about making, you know, let's see you want to make some type of fruit talk, right?

And all of a sudden, now you're hearing conversations differently because your brain is more attuned to paying more attention to like other elements. And so I'm always doing that. I'm always reminding clients. It's going to look and I say this to them. You can ask every one of my clients. I say this. Listen to me. It's going to seem like magic.

I always tell them this. Two weeks, three weeks later, it never fails. And they're like, holy me, burn it. It happened. Da-da-da-da-da-da. I was like, like magic, right? And I just start laughing. I mean, they don't remember as much as I do because I know when I say that,

because I can see it coming to certain things I can tell when they at that point. But it's like magic. All of a sudden, someone calls and they, they hear. an opportunity that they didn't hear before. Because before, when we're tired, you're, you know, judgmental thinking, you don't have enough energy if the opportunity comes. So everything looks like it could be a risk. When energy's high, everything looks like an opportunity, things start looking more like opportunities.

All I have to do is get an introduction from Bob. And Bob can get a warm introduction from this. You're like, ooh, I can do this. Now I can push my product. Or now I can have that conversation with someone. But you wouldn't have seen that before. You wouldn't have heard that before. Do you recommend everybody.

have a happiness coach. I would recommend somebody had everybody has someone to talk to. I would love to say I could go out there and help the world, but there are many great helpers out there, right? Because, you know, I'm not for everyone. And I'm also having limited bandwidth. That's why I started doing own your happiness class, right? Because it's like, you know, one-on-one takes a lot of effort. I'm happy to do that. But if I can talk to 20, 50 people in one time, great. There are so many people out there who just need someone to talk to, you know? I mean, it's not that something's wrong, but sometimes, I mean, I'm not even, but we all need someone.

You know, someone, I have, you know, a couple of really good friends. And I'll just get them to follow. I'm like, yo, you're like, what's up? I'm like, five minutes. I'm like, what's up? And I'll just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, all. I figured out by.

And we just laugh about it because you just need to hear yourself sometimes. Yes. Or you just need to, we're communicative people, communicable people. We need to talk. People are starving for connections. right now. So I recommend that everyone has someone to talk to. Um, because oftentimes, especially, um, you know, entrepreneurs, you know, I'm a confident guy. You know, you're a confident guy. Like, I know, I'm not saying this in a cocky way, but it's just like, I just figure it out,

right? You just, that's just it. But when you start something new or when you, your head gets, you know, rammed into the wall proverbially, of course, and you're working on something and you're not figuring it out. Sometimes you need someone to say, you got this, Greg. Yeah. You got this. You just need that. You know, you can even look at it on all the older TV shows. They would say, you know what to do.

And you, everyone needs to hear that sometimes. I only need to hear that. I can analyze it and analyze it over and over and over. And I know it's 100% right. But there's always going to be a little piece of me that doubts myself until I hear, I hear what you just said. You got this. Yeah. You know, one of our really close friends.

we have this thing how we met and we, we check into each other every month and we just have at least an hour conversation once a month no matter what. He's got multiple businesses. I'm working on a second and third business right now. So we're both busy, both have families and we understand that. And, you know, I don't mind me saying this, obviously, confidentiality, anonymity's in place.

He said, Vernon, I think I have a confidence issue. And he is, him and his wife, you know, came to this conclusion. And I'm sitting there and I'm just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I'm just listening to him. And I just, and I said, hey, do you mind if I take a spin at it? Because I'm always asking permission, even though he has a friend. You know, don't want to say something. I, um, as you know, I said to him, and I said to him, um, how many low confidence

people do you know start three successful businesses? And then he starts cracking up because I'm always looking for groin and incongruity smart. If you had a confidence issue, you would just sit back and say, I'm not going to do that. I'm scared. I'm fearful. I wouldn't get married. You wouldn't be consistent with me once, meeting together once a month for the last, what three years and i just let him know it's like do you mind if i take my stab at it and he said yeah

and i said you just need encouragement it's like remember how we first met we both came to the table with a bunch of things we were both in our place in our business we were like what do you know i only had a few dollars in a cow he was at his place who's you know what you're going to run into snacks and we came to the table literally at a table at panera i never forget it and for whatever reason i'm always going to be straight up and honest if you hear something weird that's my son by the way I don't know what he's doing. And I just let him know. I was like, what happened?

I looked at him and I said, you've got this, dude. I was like, come back and show me what you got. He came back the next month. Boom, start making progress. Everybody needs to hear that. It's not that you let confidence, but we all need to have that encouragement sometimes. We all need it. So I like where we're at right now.

You got me hyped up. You got me motivated. What are some daily habits, applications I can start implementing as far as our chronology, as far as eating habits, anything and all you can recommend.

Sure. And I'd be happy to do. This is something I recommend, and I love to to mention nutrition. Be very mindful of what you eat. I'm not telling anybody. I used to be, you know, that 4% body fat, them days ain't happening. Vernon ain't doing that. I love wings and potatoes way too much now.

But just be mindful of what you're eating, right? Be smart, making ensure that you remember that food can make you feel a particular way. You know, if you don't, you are not going to go walk the dog 20 blocks after you just eat a double cheeseburger. You know, and you're not going to be having the best posture after you ate like a big chili cheese dog. And I'm not vilifying those things.

I'm just pointing out food affects how you feel and food affects what you do, right? And so just be mindful. Like during the days, I am vegetarian. I do not eat meat during a day. I find it it slows me down. That's just me, though. I am not a person who I'm not a vegetarian. I will tell you that.

If you know what I'm fixing tonight, you understand that. It's a big busting butt is in a crock pot right now. But during the day, I eat vegetarian. A big thing that I live by and I swear by and I encourage every person is start your day by yourself. I mentioned I get up at 4.30. Why? One, my son's asleep, right? But two, I can get thinking time in and I start my day off with thinking time.

Well, I'm not all the time to start my day off with thinking time, but I've built. thinking time into my day. I typically, after I work out, I will take a walk and I just think. I don't worry. I don't stress. I think. And then I'll listen to something positive. Positive could be rap music. You know what I mean? Something that gets me hype. I'm like, I'm going to show you. It's not going down like that. But it's just something that gets my blood pumping because I'm like, it's a fight. It's ready. Let's go because I'm a competitive person with myself. another thing that I would do I do personally is I check in with the guy every single day me I'm a best friend and we talk about business every single day every single day for at least 30

minutes not about what's wrong but hey what are you working on a day hey did you get ex accomplished and we just would do a really good with accountability with that and he's from new york and he says some very flavorful things stop being a bee burning like all right whatever you're right you're being sensitive all right whatever you know but that gets my head right So kind of the recap, I would suggest moving your body in somehow. I'm not saying you got to lift weights, but move your body somehow. Move it. Please move your body.

Motion creates emotion. Second thing, make sure you give your body and your mind that place to just be. Not to worry, not to stress, but just to think. Ask yourself a few questions. If I could only do this in three steps, what would I do? Looking at your schedule. If you've got 20 things on there, just like, you know, you can ask if I could only do two of these things in this list to move the ball forward, what would they be?

Most of the time, your schedule is just busy for no freaking reason. And, you know, have somebody that you can check in with. Even if it's, even if it's yourself, you know, I've got a giant calendar. And I will purposely squeak, speak, squeaking, making sure if it's rare, that means I've got an interview. It's this, I got this going on. But it lets me know, like, okay, make sure you just to check in. All right, make sure your energy is high because you got, you know, two interviews a day, four interviews a day.

You have six clients. You got to get ready to do this live. But those things constantly make me check in to be like, hey, Bernard, are you, you know, are you keeping yourself engaged? And I notice if you have three red days, it's like, I need to get me a nap in here somehow. So guess what is Thursday? I mean, Wednesday nap day today, baby. So you're going to make sure you get a nap in.

So you mentioned something. I wanted to stop you real quick. And engage. And I came through, a lot's been showing up online as far as different blogs about people being disengaged in the workplace. Information about that and how can people recover from being disengaged and start getting back to being engaged? It's a really great question. And I said this because it's really dependent on the style.

But it really, at the same time, it doesn't change. It's that equation, more work, more fun. And if you can't have fun, schedule something. that you can look forward to. You know, when we have a mission, a purpose to ever working towards, work stops becoming work. It stops becoming as taxing because you know you're working towards a goal.

Whenever I see people who have been disengaged, I ask what have you been giving yourself to look forward to? And they'll say, well, I have a vacation once a year. So you've got to wait 11 months to look forward to something. That's not going to keep you going. But if you know that you've got a trip with your buds coming up and, you know, two weeks, you know, you're counting down. You're getting excited. The next time I recommend is really sit back and say, you know, what's the goal here? You know, as we continue to climb

that, you know, ascend that ladder of finances, I'm always making sure that I'm not a person who's working to just keep my lifestyle up. You know, I don't have a boat. I don't have two motorcycles. And I don't want to get caught up in that where you just work and work in this. court of lifestyle. Like, is this really what you want things to work out? And that's fine if you do, just recognize there is a cost to everything. I've seen that a lot where, you know, people end up getting trapped and they have to end up getting disengaged because now you've got to pay for, you know, the gas for the boat. You got to pay for maintenance. You got to pay for winterize. You got to pay for this. You got to pay for that. You can't stop then. And we got to make sure,

it's like, is this how you want things to look? Is there a way that we could create some space? And it's those questions like that, they kind of start waking you up. It's not that you got to get rid of it. Just, you know, maybe you don't need to own the boat. I mean, you can find a buddy with the boat. See, a question just came into my head about this. With people living a false identity, I feel like that could be coming up now more than ever just because we're trapped at home.

Have you ever came across any questions, thoughts, or just some sort of idea from somebody that sparked your interest that we're living a life that, that we didn't really want to live and are we living it with the wrong partner? So that question from me with the way that, you know, my understanding of the neurophysiology is kind of a risky one. You know, and please, I never want to like partial words, right?

I want to make sure I please don't know, I never mean to offend. I just want to say for the way that what you're happy does things, it's, I wouldn't say a false, you know, a facade. Yes. But it's a way of being in the world that gives you a sense of feeling happy. Like sometimes, you know, pretend play makes kids happy. You know, you put on a sock puppet.

You dress up as a character. And every time we learned, we learned when we were a kid that we need as adults to be successful. So sometimes when I see people, oftentimes when I see persons who have a certain portrayal of life, it's really risky for me to question that because that can be very, very, very, demeaning and shame. And the first rule for me is do no harm. Interesting. And so for me, and this is not the entirety of near the question. And it's recognizing what, you know, what would it be like if you didn't have social media to portray life? What would you be doing? And for me, it's not that they're going to get immediate aha every time. And that's just one example of many questions you could ask. But it gives them a place where they get, they will ruminate on that. They will ruminate on that question. And they'll be at a stop lightning and they'll start thinking when they were getting ready to pick up the phone or get ready to meet wherever they want to choose to be who they want to be. They'll just start waking them up.

And then some person come back a couple of weeks later and say, hey, I really made me think about that. I was like, I am. And what conclusions have we come to? It's like, well, I just noticed, death is any other. It's like, okay, so what steps can we take here? What are some options for you? And in regards to picking out, you know, with a partner, whenever I'm with some persons and I recognize that that could be. and mismatches, but that's not up to me to choose.

But if I notice that they're telling me, they're seeing some things they don't like about the person. It's like, how can we blend what you don't like and with what you do like? Because sometimes a person can be going through something, some things themselves, you know? I'm trying to find just a pattern here. I'm very just obsessed with patterns. And I'm trying to see if the people that have gotten married to these people that now during this time of COVID

realize, wow, why did I pick them? I don't remember why I pick? If that came up in their head once. And I want to see if there's a possibility that it's not the partner

is the problem, but it's them. Not for them thinking of why they picked them, but questioning their judgment on how they judge themselves and how they carry themselves? What if their way they hold themselves accountable is flawed? I'm very curious about how people view themselves and where the standard of being an individual today lies and where

we could be in the next year to five years. What are some universal principles we should all hold inside our head on a daily basis that we will never sacrifice, no matter. what the cost is, will never sacrifice these principles. Is that the question? Are you still thinking? No, it's just something for me to think out loud as far as I get lost in my head. So I'm not, no, no, no, dude, you're good. I'm with you.

Do you mind if I jump in? Go ahead, please. A big thing here. The big question is what do you want? Most people take what's given to them, very few people to get what they want. Very few. And I'll ask someone, like, you know, even when we talked, it's like, what can I do for you? What do you need? People get dumbfounded. You get quiet. Or I'll ask some of a partner, let you say, look for someone. I was like, what exactly are you looking for? And they might give me a couple of random things that just don't. I'm like, okay, but what exactly do you want?

Like, do you know what you want? Or are you taking what's given to you? You don't know what your standards are. Know what your belief system is and hold true to that. I demand things from life. And I make sure that I'm always checking. I can in is, am I taking with the easy or my demand? It is just what I really want. And multiple, it's not just with a partner, but with everything. You need to sit back and recognize, am I settling? And I do not lose. That word, even, I almost want to cut my tongue out every time I hear that word.

It's like saying, am I being realistic? Ugh. Never say that. Be unrealistic. But know what you want. That's when the big thing is, you know, when I tell people, like, I need to slow you down. Look, what do you mean you need to slow you down? Like, yes, you're very successful financially,

but I really think you're missing a lot of things. things right now. And it's about slowing people down, you know, many guards. Let's, you know, do you mind if we put them breaks on some things? What exactly are you trying to accomplish? And they're like, you know, and mentally they're breathing heavy. Like, what do you mean? I got to make this money. I was like, how many opportunities do you think you've missed because you're moving so quickly? Yeah. And it gets people think, well, what do you mean? Well, you know, Mr. Klein or Ms. client, you mentioned this many opportunities and you wanted to hit this dollar. You recognize if you had a slow, you know, three steps ago, you could have done this,

assist and leverage that. They don't think about that, but I'm bringing it up. It's like, you've got to make sure what you want is congruent with how you're moving in life. That was why I brought up those questions I'm trying to write down that we all need to ask ourselves. And I feel like it's a list. It's something I'm working on. It's just a long, long list of questions. We all need to ask ourselves. And it's something we need to continue to ask ourselves. Because as we grow and refine and transform those questions, the answers to those change. So you keep those answers consistent in our own head so we know how to act accordingly when

we are face with those questions in our environments. Yeah. And you know, with the questions, it's making sure that they evolve with the person. You know, some questions you outgrow. You know, what you know what you want? What's the next question there? you know, what am I doing, act on what I want? Then, of course, once you're doing what you want,

and you know what you want and you act on what you want, then what's the next question there? So it's an evolution. You know, some questions fit at the time. Some questions fit with the style for a period. Sometimes, especially when we start changing, our personalities change, especially based upon the environment, that we have to upgrade and elevate those questions as well.

You know, what do you expect to have happened? You know, ask somebody a question like that, they're like, oh, crap, I guess I never thought about that. now you are you know like that's literally going through my head right now like I love that that you shine a spotlight on that just the context on how deep it can

really go we don't take that it's it's all being looked at in surface value well we we spend so much time to be reductionistic right like I think it's called like the five whys or something which is a completely risky exercise for me it's very risky exercise

for me it's very reductionistic because it takes a person And, you know, from my practice, why questions? They're risky. You know, ask them on, why do you want this? Why do you want this? Why do you want this? Why do you want this?

We don't need to go there. For me, it's, you know, so you're having more confidence. You're making more money. How is that going to change your life? Well, then I'll be able to go out there. I can get the guy, a girl, and I'll be able to do this. And so now that you have all of that. You're getting a guy, girl.

You're making more money. You're having more confidence. You know, what part about your life is going to change. Well, then I can go and I can show my family that I made it. And then the aha's going there. It's like, what would we like if we focused on getting all those things at the same time and versus waiting? Interesting. Yeah.

Because you could spend a lot of time chasing those days. You take five, 10, 15, 20 years. Or we could take five minutes. When's the last time you texted you on? It's probably been, you know, two years. Great. Caller. Mute me.

I'm like, what do I say? Okay, unmute me. And I'll tell you what to say. and we start repairing, we're in it safe. I'm just using an example of some people, some things I've, you know, work with people on because you just, it can,

I feel like I'm moving away for what I know what you initially asked with some of the stories and some of the lines of questions, but it's important. I'm just kind of getting that to know what you want. Just be careful about asking the wise, because those wise can take you back in time where you don't need to go because you don't need it anymore. I like where we're going,

because this is a mess. model we can apply to other life realms. This is really good with why the why statement. Why is it so defeating of our future success and what could we use instead? You know, it's good. I'm good. I do need to answer just directly. I'm kind of hitting around. Why questions and I'm kind of touching us a little bit. They take you back to who you were and you can't control who you were. It's who you are it matters. Why questions run the risk of diminishing a person. You know, you ask a person, why did you do that? Why would you walk in there like that? A person is going to play small. And if a person plays small, guess what? They might lash out and say something that's not going to be

beneficial. And that's taking a person away from what they really want. You know, what type of results are we looking for here versus why did you do that? And it's, you know, I'm always getting people to think, if we could do this all over again, how would you approach it? I love how questions. How make you think? How would you like to me respond to you when you talk to me that way? Versus why are you yelling at me? And I've strategically disarmed people.

I remember being a bartender. I would do that all the time. I'm going to come over there and kick your button. And I just would say, and it's like, what do you think is going to happen then? I've never said anything aggressive. I never said I'm going to clobber the guy, but you make people think. So that's why I leads the power in questions.

You know, even now, I'm making it a how question. And I was just, I would just, how would you like me respond to when you talk that way? And you make people think. And then you walk away because I'm not going to engage with someone. You don't engage with crazy. I'm not wasting my energy. But I'm very careful with why questions to the point where I don't use them.

Nothing good comes out of why questions. And I'm also careful with why questions because I never want to create a parallel process that I'm greater than you. I don't have all the answers. I always make sure like I talk with you. I don't talk at you. I'm always in the same level with you. It's very interesting.

You said a lot of things that have got me in another world. I'm sorry about that. That happens a lot with me. You're good. I feel like I'm in like a library and there's a back room. And it goes into there where there's all these different books that nobody knows about but me. you got me in this trans thinking and I'm just pulling this book out and you just said that. I'm like, what the?

Where the hell has this been my entire life? Language is such a powerful tool that language is my number one tool. Because people don't understand a power of language, not language as in, you know, who walk into source, but recognizing a style that's in front of you. You know, if you go to someone with a highly neurological style and someone who's really good at picking out the pieces with the ability to assimilate information and then line it back up and line things back up, if you start asking, you know, emotional-based questions, you could shut a person down. I'm not going to get anywhere with that. And that's such a disservice to the person. I respect every person that's in front of me. You know, when I'm talking with someone, you know, who has a different style and, you know, maybe they have a very very strong survival style. Maybe they can come across it even slightly, you know, gruff or come across as feisty. You know, I adjust my language to that person, not to manipulate, but so they can hear me better. Because if you go to a person who might be highly neurological and you say, well,

how do you think your wife feels about that? You're going to get a snarky answer. You go to someone who has a really feisty style and you try to tell them who they are. Like, you know, you should really think about how you come across to people. That doesn't help them. That does no justice. They're going to fire up on you. I would not engage like that. That's just me, but it's language. It's such an important thing.

I'm just so careful with it constantly, constantly careful with language. It's just so much respect for the person that's in front of you. And people use this, you know, things about building rapport. If you, when you speak a person's language, they feel as though they feel heard. And when people feel heard and they're connected to you, that's when they really can get through to get some making a lot of breakthroughs to make a lot of changes some of my clients we talk trash you know somebody comes one of my clients is 80 i love her to death and how she started off she sat down and i sent her an email and you know she's feisty very feisty woman very fight you

would not think she's 80 and she said um uh is it all right if i use poor language yeah oh yeah explicit so you're all good you know i try not to just just to give an example this is how she starts off. And she said, when's the last time somebody called you a bitch? I was just like, no man, that's alive. And then she just starts cracking up. And then we said, that's literally how we started the conversation. And then she started going about the email and my grammar.

I said, oh, you're so smart. You got everything figured out, don't you? And then she's like, well, you think you just know everything. I was just like, I'm not the one coming for help. And we just, she purposely test you. And I get it. And it doesn't bother me. I can talk trash all day long.

But then you have a person who might come to you with a more soft-spoken, you know, a more subdued, I don't know, way of being. I won't even talk about what we need to talk about. We won't even talk about some things because I need to talk to the true self then. I might just mention another thing. I might talk about, you know, just things that I pick up on. I don't need to talk about what's wrong, but it's just, I'm kind of getting rid of and go too far. But it's language.

It's so powerful. It's so powerful. That's really interesting. Just out of curiosity for someone like myself who's trying to reach as many people as he can to help transform their lives, what would you suggest as far as adjusting my dialogue to reach as many people? Do you want my honest answer? Yes. Be you. Nothing attracts more than authenticity.

Nothing. I don't care how charismatic. I don't care how, you know, you could. use this language, you use that language. When a person is congruent, you can't, you, you are drawn into it. That person puts you into a trance. Even if you're not 100% in love with it. Like, think about like, someone like Michael Jackson, perfect example. He was in a trance. Whether he like him, love him or not, you know, love him or not. They like, they were talking about when he'll be on stage, he'll be in a trance. And that made you like the music even more because he would

just be in the zone. And when you're being congruent with who you are, you all, you're, and just being you, it's the most attractive thing. Because right now people are looking for solid people to grasp it into. They're looking for, they're begging for it. Because right now there's a lot of falsehoods out there. Yeah. Yeah, there is. I'm not trying to say in negative, but I'm just recognizing there's a lot of people who are trying to find the true self.

And the fastest one, the fastest way to find the true self is to find someone who knows their self because you can model that. You can get anchored by that. People are looking for people who are grounded. I like that. In March, I think I mentioned this to you. I was talking with, you know, I talked to open schedule up to business owners. I said, hey, anybody around the world threw it on LinkedIn, threw out on Facebook, Twitter and all that?

So I was talking to any business owner for at least 30 minutes, come up with the strategy free. Let's go. And the thing that I found, other than, you know, obviously, you know, hey, look, I'm freaking out was people were looking for someone to be grounded. And just the way that I am, nothing better than anybody. But I'm always looking, you know, practicing hopes thinking, options, opportunities, possibilities, and solutions. that keeps me locked in. And so when a person's telling me what's going on, I'm like, you know, have we looked at it from every angle?

And then, of course, by me being who I am, and they can just transfer and they pick up on my energy, and they're like, I never thought about it like that. I'm like, down to the chart, what do you see? Who do you know the experience something like this? And now once they get more grounded, they start picking up on like, oh, I get this, I get this. It has nothing to do with, I mean, it's like 2% me, 90% of them,

but it's attractive. It's incredibly attractive. I'm picking up what you're putting down. It's just establishing this foundation in every life you live and stay true to the desired outcome. And in time, you will gain this, almost like this aura that kind of just appears on the outer side of your body where people just want to know, why do you look different? different from everybody else. You just look brand new out of the package for some reason. And they just need to know, God, you're so refreshing.

Who are you? That's what happens. That's exactly what happens. Because people, you can't fake it. You cannot fake it. And it's not just a look. It's the tonality. And then it's not just what they hear.

If you mute it and, you know, cut the light. on you can watch you where a person's move when they can grow when when when they're solid and who they are and you can you can't fake it like oh wow look the way this person moves you've seen it before i know you've seen it before yes but um yeah i think the second reaction to that is you can't please everybody some people aren't gonna like you just because they don't understand how are you so solid and who you are and grounded and i'm not and versus them asking that they were thought you know kind of you know instinctual response that i don't like you And I'm okay with that. And that's me what's something saying to yourself is to be okay with that. Oftentimes in persons don't like you. If you ask them, you know, well, walk me through how we got here. They're not going to have an answer for you. Well, because you're stupid.

I was like, okay, so how do we get to stupid? Well, I was like, okay. So I'm, you know, what, what have I done to come across a stupid? Whatever, not all the time, but most times they're making it up in the moment. It's a self-esteem issue. It's a lack of understanding. You know, a smart person who, you know, with language and high energy would say, you know, can you walk me through the steps it took for you to get here?

You know, not to necessarily humble, but to come as an inquisitive child, always be curious. When I see things, I'm like, I don't look at people and get jealous. I look at people and say, how did they do that? And I literally go up to them and say, if you had to do it all over again, what are the three things you would do? What are the three things you would do or three things you wouldn't do? I get curious. You know, as the all adage goes, it's two ways to have the tallest building in the city. You work really hard.

You hire the right construction workers. You get good build prints. Or you completely demolish it. Everyone else is except for yours. And in this kind of environment right now, that's what you see a lot of. People tearing each other down versus trying to figure out, you know, what can we do to be better communicators? What can we do to better understand our cultures and our differences?

What are some steps that we can take, you know, that can unite people? I'm not trying to sound like it too philosophical. You know, for yourself is, you know, what can I do to have the charisma and charm? that great goes. People are, a lot of people aren't going to ask you that. I'm just saying this to you because when you step out there, you're going to have some people who don't get it. And that's okay. But my thing to you is be you. That's all that matters. Be you. I like that. If you don't know who you is, get curious and figure it out. Find out what you're amazing at. Lain on that first. Because when you step into what you're amazing at,

you're like a little kid who's just dancing, playing dance, revolution at arcade. You don't worry about what everyone else is doing because you're doing what you're amazing at, right? It's like you're going to this flow state. You do. That's why even on Facebook Live, I did a video. I was telling people you need to figure out what you're amazing at. If you want to figure out who you are, do what you're amazing at because you're not thinking about it. All of a sudden, you'll start moving different.

You'll start, your, your handshake will be different. I know I have a really good sense of humor. I have an amazing sense of humor. I can make anybody laugh. You're like, one command. I'm like, all right, I got this. Because humor is like, the number one happiness and humor.

I mean, who doesn't want to laugh? You know, you're all going to get someone. Like, what do you do with all your happy that you have? You know,

you see someone who's grouching, what do you mean? I was like, I just noticed something. And then they just start like, shut off, right? Like,

we'll just start laughing, right? But when you do stuff like that and you're just having fun with the life when using what you're amazing at, you don't worry as much, you don't worry at all. Just do it. You have the gift to be able to talk to anybody.

Use it. Use it first. Don't do anything else, but use the top five gifts immediately first. And it puts you one billion steps closer to being you. I really, really like that you put that out there. I could not have articulated what you just said on how you said it.

But a lot of people will tell us, there's a big, it's a back and forth question of whether we should do the things we enjoy or doing the things that lead to success. but we don't enjoy. But what you just said kind of just draws a line in the sand on what we should be doing to learn our identity and grasp where we will end up in the future. It's, I mean, in life, you're not going to always do what you want to do, right? As much as, you know, you're going to control your schedule, you ain't in control your schedule. You know, because you got to be there for the people.

You got to be there to create the resources for people to hear it. So we do have limitations. things. A rule that I always have is if I'm not having fun, I'm not doing it. I refuse to do it. I am not doing it. Don't ask. I'm not. You know, but with that being said, that doesn't mean I don't have my frustrations. Like right now, I am going through it. I've never written a book. I had to write a book and I had to get this going. I had to hire marketing team. I had to hire, you know, new employees. I had to hire all these things and they were frustrated and the drive me crazy. But the key is, it's not that I'm not, you know, frustrated or annoyed, bothered, just, you know, the whole game. of emotions, but I'm having fun because I know what the end result is going to be. They're working towards, and that's the fun part. I'm going to just make sure that the sacrifice, the investment is worthy of, is worthy. Hey, Vernon, if we can transition to our wrap up, I just have a couple questions.

You've mentioned a lot about business. If you could give us three tips on how we can start her audience, if they can how they can start growing their business. What are three tips that you can give them to ensure their success as being an entrepreneur or a business owner? Perfect question. First thing is ask. People forget to ask. They do not ask. They will see someone who's successful and or just see others who are successful. You need to ask them. Sit down and see you get on the calendar. Ask it. The worst thing is no. The worst. And I attribute so much of things that I've done and been successful because I ask people.

Even when I mentioned that's the other guy on playground. I asked. Don't forget to ask. People forget to ask. Ask. Ask. Ask. Stay asking.

Second thing. No man or woman is an island. You don't have to sit there and, you know, figure out a problem by yourself. I did it for years. Let me tell you something. I don't have hair. Okay. That's all I got to say.

But let people lend you a little bit. world that's what I love your podcast because it lets people know you know I was going through my things I discovered podcasts you know this is you know three or four years ago and I met my buddy but and let me not feel so isolated so find a group you know list by or find some mind that you can talk to and let them know about your problem you're not the first person going through it even if you are when you're walking through the woods it's scary right but if someone's with you all of a sudden you turn to Billy badass like I ain't that bad you know don't let him see your sweat just don't do it alone And I think the third business tip I would be, would say is stay uncomfortable.

Stay uncomfortable. Every week I do something that makes me uncomfortable. And that could be the asking. It could be the uncomfortable thing. But stay learning. Stay doing things and experimenting with some things that are going to make you grow. Because you can't take people because, you know, nobody, I'm sure we all have exit plans for our business. You want to make sure that you, when you hire employees, when you talk with your colleagues about success,

You want to make sure you could take them to a place that you've been before. Hey, let me tell you about the difficult conversation I had to have. Let me tell you about when I had to eat some cruel idea that I didn't want to have, that I didn't want to pursue it first, but now I would have to after I said I was adamant that I wouldn't. But stay uncomfortable in some way, shape, or form. So you can be congruent with your arm and be like this big beacon of what with this, this well of wisdom as well as recognizing that things change in life and they're going to make you uncomfortable. But because you've had so much practice being uncomfortable, you know, like, oh, it's just that.

Like when COVID hit, it was like, oh, all right, let me figure something else out. Yeah. But yet. Two more questions. More being, I know you gave us a lot of advice, but if we could narrow it down to a universal standard set of advice, principles, whatever you would like to share with us, what is some good advice to follow and some bad advice to avoid? Good advice to follow. demand what you want from life and stop asking. Demand what you want.

I'm not saying be cocky and say, give it all to me. If that's what you want to go for it, just make sure you're going to put the work in. Demand what you want from life. Second thing, you need to put yourself into an environment of success. And an environment of success does not mean it's going to be comfortable. Be around people. We know it. Five people you hang around where are you going to be in the next five or ten years.

You need to put yourself in a successful environment. There's no man or woman stronger or greater than his or our environment. I live by that. And I'm intentional with who I bring it to my environment. If you are in my circle, you have some quality that I am looking for because I wouldn't be in yours otherwise because I'm making sure I'm always give. I'm a giver. I constantly give. I constantly give.

And I need to make sure that I have people who are giving it to me. And I think the last thing would be is more work, more fun. That's hands down because there's so many things going out there. And as you become a successor, you're going to forget. And, you know, make sure that whoever your loved one is, you make sure you do kind and caring things for one another still. I can tell you how many persons have. They have been doing well and they're trying to figure out what's going on. And I'll ask them that question.

When's the last time he did something nice for your partner? You're like, oh my gosh, I am so sorry. Because there's two deadly places in your life in your head and in your head. Make sure they're both taken care of. Now, a couple points about some things to avoid. some bad advice. Do not, under any circumstances, be afraid to ask questions. You need to ask.

Do not play sheepish. You need to be bold and be direct. Do not be sheepish. If you're hiring a new person, you're bringing a new person on, ask them the question that makes them uncomfortable as long as it's helpful. So don't be sheepish. I did that. You know, so many times earlier on my life.

and now it's, I make people uncomfortable with the questions that ask and I'm going to be direct. So don't be sheepish. Be respectful, but don't be sheepish. Second piece of bad advice, I would say, if I should say things you should not do or not to do. Don't be afraid to be the student. Don't. Don't be afraid to be the student. It's nice to be top dog, I guess. But be a student. Be a student. Be always be a student. a student. There's no such thing as an expert for me in my world because things change every single day, which means an expert who knows everything one day, what wakes up and next thing you know, they don't know this. They're not aware of that. So stay a student. You know, don't think you

know it all. I'm always studying and learning and practice and new ways of being in new ways and seeing and understand it. I think the last thing would be, oh, gosh, just so many things and trying to filter it would be a really good one. What you've given me, Vernon, is phenomenal. It's plenty. We have a few minutes left. I want to highlight where our audience can go to find more about you and just a little snapshot of what you have to offer in your work you do. Thank you for this.

You know, what's your happy.com. And it's spelled happy with an eye, HAPPI. And before you ask, why an eye? Because you matter. But what's your happy. com. You can send me an email at Vernon at what you're happy.com. And again, it's happy with an eye. You can do that. And also I have link tree, which is really, I think, a lot faster because you can see it because I have a 30-day happiness planner, which is free, which I want to make sure that

everyone in the ears this knows this is free to them. And it's, it talks about, and it's something I created, where it talks about challenging yourself, excuse me, happiness challenge. It's a challenge for the next 30 days, really focusing. And you can have tracked, you know, results. But if you go to link tree, link tree and it's some forward slash what you're happy, you'll see that and you'll see if you have out of, you know, things that have out there in a world to make sure people become more successful and happier and just, you know, contract things. Those are about the best ways you're going to contact with me. Awesome. Before I let you go, is there anything else you want to leave our audience with?

Fun. I'm always about that. People don't talk about fun enough. They don't. have fun. If you're not having fun at work or you're not having fun in your job, find somebody who is. Because you will pick up on that and you'll start looking at life very differently. I've seen it where you work at. My dad used to work at a factory years ago. And people can understand why my dad was having so much fun.

He was a supervisor and he was like, this job sucks this than the other. My dad rocked it out and had so much fun. And by him having fun, did you're other people in and it made everybody's job less hard and less strenuous. So fine people were having fun with, what you struggle at is another way of saying that because you had a rub off on you some people like I hate to the podcast interviews and I'm like I love them I absolutely love them

fine people who have fun the things that you struggle at that's that's about yeah I think that's yeah excellent Vernon I really do appreciate your time yeah great you're awesome I love the questions I appreciate the realness you take care I appreciate your work take care thanks again Bye. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. Subscribe if you have not already done so. But leave us a review. Let us know how we can continue to improve your transformation station.

I appreciate every one of you for tuning in. And I look forward to the next episode on your transformation station. You've been listening to your transformation station. Rediscovering your true identity and purpose on this planet. We hope you enjoyed the show, and we hope you've gotten some useful and practical information. In the meantime, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram at YTS The Podcast. We'll be back soon. Until then, this is your transformation station.

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