Your Transformation Station - 65. Cultivating Unbroken "Comes Out" of Our Perceptions "Micheal Unbroken" w/ Favazza

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

(Michael Unbroken) guest on "Your Transformation Station"provides tips on overcoming the trauma and looking at yourself realistically. Greg and Michael will look at family, friends and the negative behavior patterns we have all experienced for the light at the end of the tunnel. The main takeaway is there is no Disney moment, and you have to save yourself. Support the showPODCAST INFO:Podcast website: https://ytspod.comApple Podcasts: https://ytspod.com/appleSpotify: https://ytspod.com/spotifyRSS: https://ytspod.com/rssYouTube: https://ytspod.com/youtubeSUPPORT & CONNECT:- Check out the sponsors below, it's the best way to support this podcast- Outgrow: https://www.ytspod.com/outgrow- Quillbot Flow: https://ytspod.com/quilbot - LearnWorlds: https://ytspod.com/learnworlds- Facebook: https://ytspod.com/facebook- Instagram: https://ytspod.com/instagram- TikTok: https://ytspod.com/tiktok- Twitter: https://ytspod.com/x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What was the difficult part when you started to negotiate this character when you came in contact with people you've known in your past as you were changing your identity? Man, that is the question, right? Like, that's a phenomenal question. Look, here's the reality. And one of my mentors taught me this. And it really rings true. Like, to get what you want in life, you're going to have to give something up. You're going to have to.

And a lot of times it's the people. And that's not to say those people don't bring value to you. That's not to say you don't love those people or cherish those people. But if you want to change the world, you're not going to do it at happy hour. You know what I'm saying? Like the truth about it is, you know, I distinctly remember these pivotal turning points in my life of, you know, I'm going to go into sobriety. I'm going to go into celibacy. I'm going to stop going to the club on Friday nights.

I'm going to stop being party guy, you know, and just watch. people dwindle away. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? Join your host, Greg Favaza, as your voice on the hard truths of leadership, your transformation station connecting clarity to the cutting edge of leadership. As millennials, we can establish change, not only ourselves, but through organizational change, bringing transparency that goes beyond the organization and reflects back into ourselves. Extracting.

Extracting. Actionable advice and alternative perspectives that will take you outside of yourself. Michael Unbroken, welcome to your transformation station. Hey, man. It is my pleasure. Thank you for your time and for being here with me. Excellent. No, I thank you.

So you have a lot of history. I would love if you could illustrate everything that you've gone through while I sit here with an open mind. I got no questions in front of me. I'm right now, I resignate with your history. So I just wanted to be completely authentic as I could be for this conversation today. Yeah, totally. You know, so background, you know, I grew up in Indianapolis. my mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic when I was four years old.

She actually cut off my right index finger. And so, you know, that kind of gives you framework. And, you know, people. What, cut off your reaction? Cut off your fucking finger? Yeah. And that's a, and you know, and that's very much a, you know, that's a repeat of trauma, right? That's, that's this generational trauma thing playing itself out again and again.

And now I understand that, obviously, when I was kid, I didn't, right? Very different experience. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. She cut off your finger. Yeah. For what, to sell it to get some, to get some drugs? I don't understand what the fuck. What, what happened? I don't understand either. So your guess is as good as mine. You know, it's, it's part of the, you know, it's part of the human experience. I think, unfortunately, bad things happen to us. And, you know, trauma begets trauma, right? This is a continuation of a a lot of bad things that I'm sure happened to her.

Actually, that I know happened to her. You know, unfortunately, whether it was an accident or on purpose or whatever the motive may have been, it happened. And I was, you know, I was four years old. So I don't have a recollection of that moment, that experience. And part of me is like I'm happy that I don't, right? You know, I remember lots of stuff in my experience, but not that particularly. So, you know, it's something that over the course of my life, I went,

back, I actually tried to get medical records. I guess it was probably about five years ago. I was like, you know what, let me get some medical records. Let me dive into this. And they'd been expunged. So it turns out that most hospitals, you know, again, I'm almost 40 years old. Like they didn't keep, they didn't digitize a lot of that stuff. It's like seven years.

They usually keep the records in like a warehouse or something. You sound like you've been through a lot of therapy because one, the way you're looking back and reflecting on your, your childhood, social upbringing, you look at it through your adult mindset, but you also understand how your younger self was viewing things. And now you're articulating how things are now and be able to distinguish what you were thinking back then, but also what you are thinking now. Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, I mean, look, if you want to create massive change in your life, you're going to have to do that. You're going to have to go through the healing process. You're going to have to go through the learning process. I think a big part of this is

around education, right? Creating an understanding about the frameworks and kind of which the ramifications of traumatic experiences impact you. And I think far too often, this was my experience for a long time. You know, I sat with it. I played the victim role. I blamed other people. I said, you know, this is your fault, this is their fault, whomever. And my life was a disaster at different periods of time. And so today, you know, it's very different. And the reason why is from doing that work. And it wasn't just therapy.

I think therapy is a great precursor. But also it can leave you short, right? I don't think therapy is about the tools to go to what's next. And so a big part of that for me was in personal development. It was in learning. It was in, you know, going into the conferences, reading the books, and creating this gigantic transformation in my life by really just looking at life from the aspect of, you know, I believe that we are all capable of regardless of what we come from, you know,

living life that we want to live. Okay. So that was a long time. Let me ask you this. All right. With age, is there a certain point in time that's around when you stop playing the victim card and you started understanding. the impacts on your actions and on your thoughts, how that impacts you, because everything is outside yourself. You're creating the trauma. You're creating all of that because you're holding on to it.

When did that happen? When did that transition occur? Yeah. You know, I think it was always kind of happening, right? Because if I go and look at it as myself as a child, I was always trying just to get to be an adult. Like, I remember the only thing I ever wanted to do as a kid, I was like, I just want to be a grown up. I don't want to be a firefighter or an astronaut. I don't want that. I just wanted to be a grown up because I was like, well, when I'm a grown up, nobody will tell me what to do and I'll be able to live life how I want to live my life. And the thing that happened in that was by the time I was a grown up, yes, I was living my life, but through the wrong view, right, perspectives, everything. I was I was financially secure. I was working for a fortune 10 company, but man,

I was 350 pounds smoking two packs of cigarettes a day drinking myself to sleep. And that was not an alignment with the life that I wanted to have. So, you know, I'm 26, 25, 26 years old. And I'm just thinking to myself like, what is next? And I'll never forget this. It was laying in bed. It's 11 o'clock in the morning. Again, I'm 350 pounds. I'm eating chocolate cake, smoking a joint, and watching the CrossFit games. And I'm just like, man, if that's not right bottom, I don't know what it is. And I went into the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror and I just asked myself like, what are you willing to do to have the life that you want to have? And the words, no excuses just results. This really started reverberating in me. And that was really about stop negotiating with yourself. Stop making

excuses for yourself. Stop getting in your own damn way. Because I was great at being a victim, right? I was great at blaming the world. And it's a lot more difficult. And this isn't about culpability. Like, let's keep it real. Like, I'm not sitting here saying it's my fault because I had a terrible childhood. But the choices and the decisions that I made, those were all ramification of those experiences. And I had to take ownership over them. It led to you being overweight. It led to you being overweight. It led you to be sitting on your ass smoking fucking weed and watching TV. But what I, I feel like there's more to that story.

Because when we look at change and actually how that occurs, if we really open that up, it's based off of usually an impact, an issue, something extreme that occurs in that moment that will realign you into a new direction. So is there anything else in that story you haven't told me? Yeah, well, look, of course, there's always more, right? I mean, you're talking about 26 years of experiences leading up to that moment. You're talking about the murder of my three childhood best friends. You're talking about my uncle being in prison for life. You're talking about me not graduating high school. You're talking about running the streets and getting high since I was 12 years old.

I mean, it's an avalanche of things that lead up to change, I think. Like I don't know anyone who's had one singular experience in their life and everything changes. Like there's a lead up. There was all the times that you drunk and drove that you didn't get caught, right? You know what I'm saying? Exactly. And ultimately that's what it was. It was me, I was just tired of my own bullshit.

I was tired of my own bullshit. And I got in my, I got in my own face. And I was aggressive about it. I said, change. Bucking do something about this. And that, and look, even in that, even. in that moment that was still this um in that it was a process agree that it was a journey even today it still is right i'm 11 years into this right i've spoken around the world i've got best

selling book i got a best sell best you know top listen to podcasts blah blah blah blah all the shit i'm always still doing the work right and that's the thing like that's what i always try to teach people like i don't know that you ever stop trying to become the person you want to be now so you know it's baby steps every single day. I'm still learning. I'm still fucking up. I'm still impacting the world. Like it all comes together. But are you sharing those fuckups? Are you sharing that out loud? Not just with yourself, but with your peer group, everybody. Everybody you come contact. Are you embracing your vulnerabilities as your authentic self? Yeah, of course. Look, I mean, here's the reality. Like, you can't be a leader if you won't talk about the truth. I mean, people, you listen to my podcast, they read the books.

the truth is there. It's this conversation right now, right? It's this is where it exists. This is where it lives. You know, I tell people all the time, failure, failure is my best friend. Like, I fuck up all the time because I use that information as data. And that's the reality, whether it's in running businesses or in coaching or writing or in podcast, like, whatever I do, like I'm always just trying to be uncomfortable in it. Because when you're willing to be uncomfortable, you grow. You learn about who you are. And the truth is there are, are a lot of people who just, they show you the sunny side. They don't talk about the pain, the anxiety, the heartbreaks, the failures in business and leadership. And I use those all as learning.

They're tools. Well, that's fantastic, because you're on your transformation station, and that's what we're going to talk about. So we're going to transition into a question that I just came into mind. How do you communicate with someone? Let's say you're a leader at a workplace, an environment. You have this trauma. You know everything about it. You can't stand the look at it, but you can understand it from a mile away. When you're trying to relate something to an employee or a peer, they have a different trauma because it's subjective.

Or they haven't experienced something not as deep as what you went through. How do you convey something that's authentic but can still inspire? hire them. Yeah, look, I mean, at the end of the day, we're all having a human experience, right? And I'm not greater than or less than anyone. I look at everyone as a peer. I look at everyone as being on the same plane as me. And in that, one of the things that's been incredibly beneficial, because look, here's the

truth, I've been leading teams since I was 18 years old. You know, I had 52 people under me working in a fast food restaurant when I was a baby, basically, you know what I mean? And I've had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people under me up to today. And the number one thing, and I've learned, I've made every mistake. Let me be very clear about that in leadership and in business. But the one thing that I always try to do when I'm conveying and I'm having these conversations with people in the workplace is it's not about me. That's first and foremost.

It's not about me because that's not my job as a leader. My job as a leader is to help our team complete the mission. And when you let your ego interject in that, and it's not that I don't have one, but when it's about being right, as opposed to accomplishing the goal, you're going to lose every single time. Right. And so my thing is, like, I want to empower people. If you work for me, you have to do personal development.

You have to, it's a requirement. It's a prerequisite, right? You have to go through this process of learning, of growing, of, of understanding different concepts, of learning different tools, is because the biggest thing that I ever wanted to do as a leader is I want to put you in a position to be successful in your life. So then how do you manage a team? Yes, how do you manage a team? Tell me about that.

That's what I want to know. Everybody has a different issue. So what can you do to tailor your understanding of trauma to deliver the most impactful leader? you can on your team. What can you do? Yeah. I shut up and listen. Tell me more than that. No, that's literally it. People need to be heard. People need to be seen. They need to be felt and understood and know that when they come to the table with something, even if it's something vulnerable, and I have employees that share stuff with me, they definitely don't share with their therapist. You know what I mean? And that's fine. And I don't negate that from them. I just always remind them,

hey, think about the context of what you're bringing into the work environment right now. Like, how does this, how does this serve you? What do you need from this? Is this impacting your life in a way that is negatively affecting your performance? Is it something where you need time off? Do you need a few days? Do you need us to help cover something for you? Like, what is going on? Right. And I sit there and I shut up and I listen. I can't solve problems, but I don't have the details. And people are always so quick. And I think men in particular, or we're always like, let's fix it, let's fix it. And I'm just like, tell me what's going on.

Because I can't solve a problem if I don't have a full understanding of it. When you said men in particular, are you referring to some sort of scientific study? No. I think it's just, yeah. I mean, you hear it in passing common knowledge. Men natively, we want to fix things. Is there a study? I'm sure there are studies on it.

I have not read one. Okay. I just want to make sure that you weren't pulling something. But agreed, you know, I mean, naturally. I've read quite a few books of relationship books. I mean, men want to naturally fix things. Women want to be heard. Yes, agreed. But with organizational leadership, with millennial population being the majority today, they are now occupying management positions, what is one tip of advice that you could give them that will help them be themselves? Yeah, that's too, that's such a good question. Here's what it starts with. When you walk into the interview, be you.

Don't placate people. Don't bend who you are. Don't be anything other than you because I'll tell you what's going to happen. This happens all the time and people blame the work. They blame the boss. They blame the company. They blame the corporation about fit. They go, it's their fault I don't fit in.

No, it's your fault because you're a person. who came into the interview off the bat and you placated who you are so that you can get employment. Whereas the reality is if you were just you, you might have got the job anyway. Don't bend who you are to fit into a mold because I promise you on a long enough timeline, you're going to be miserable. That was me for a long time. I worked a corporate job. I worked for a Fortune 10 company when I was 20 years old.

I bent who I was. I hated it. I was miserable for six years. right and and that that's the number one thing i can tell people is when you start to put yourself in this position of i want to go in and make impact on the world if you hate like the people who hate Mondays right oh my god the people are working for the weekend the reason why is because they're miserable because from the jump they put themselves in a position to not be successful There you go.

Now this is authentic. I like that. I can just see the loathe in your face when you just for six years. I like that. That is real experience with understanding who you are. Now, tell the audience what can they do in their downtime as an action item to bring transparency and being authentic. Yeah, look, I think self-awareness is everything, right? If you don't know who you are, if you don't know your values, your mission, your vision, your, you know, North Star, what it is

that you want to do with your life, start there. Get clear. Get a really foundational baseline understanding of what it is that you want to create in your life, why you want to create it, how you create it, and start moving towards it. You know, if you're living life without values, This is, and this was me for a very long time. I remember the first time I heard somebody say the word values. I was like dumb. I was like, what does that mean? Values.

You know, and it's the old adage, if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. And so start thinking about what represents you as a human being. I walk into rooms and I ask people, you know, raise your hand if you know your values. And 5%, 7% of them raise your hand, right? You got to get clear. You have to understand who you are because that becomes a great system. for filtering your decision making in your life, right? My values are honesty, kindness, leadership, self-actualization and no excuses. That's how I live my life. That doesn't mean I don't

fucking falter. I'm a human being. Of course I do. But I do my best to funnel my experience through that. And that in turn helps me understand the commitments that I make, helps me understand the goals that I'm moving towards and helps me ultimately create the life that I want to have. You know, and look, at the end of the day. Like I think this is the thing that people have to understand probably more so than anything. If you're happy and you're content, great. Great. But if you're miserable and you're blaming the world, you got to do something about it. And it really starts with taking a hard look at your life and what you're doing. Exactly. Look in the fucking mirror and then bash your face into it because, one, you don't like what you fucking see. You got to fix yourself by starting from within, purging it.

and then transforming your outside. Now, let me ask you this. Okay, I like your values. Great. When you're trying to convey yourself, you have emotion behind your words. You and I are very similar. I like that.

How can you convey your message through an email through a text? It's contextual, first and foremost. It is. I think it's really important. have real conversations face to face is optimal, right? If not, video is better. We're in a virtual world, so it's difficult. Yeah, we are and we're going to go in the metaverse here soon too. So, you know, we'll see what happens there. But ultimately, you know, I think a lot, a lot gets lost in translation. A lot of the, a lot of the bigger mistakes I've made

in my life were text messages. I agree. Right. Text messages I shouldn't have sent, right? phone calls that should have been had. And there's a part of that where you go, eh, whatever. But the other part of it, I think, is, you know, if you want someone to understand your message, great example. I'll give you a perfect example of this.

A couple months ago, I posted something on Instagram and, you know, I got thousands and thousands of people there. And they were mad at me because of the context in which I posted. What I was trying to convey did not come through in the words. Ah, miscommunication. Yes.

Right? And that made me sit and pause and realize and go, wait a second, if I'm going to write something, even though I believe it to be of a certain way, is that actually conveyed in the way that other people are interpreting it? Because miscommunication, I think, is ultimately one of the worst things that happens in any aspect of life. You're like, no, no, I was thinking about it this way, but you misinterpreted. it that way. Whose fault is that? That's my fault, right? And so that really made me step back and go,

how am I using my words? Words have power. Make sure that you're paying attention to the way that you put words into the world. Because for me, I can say, stop being fucking lazy, get off your ass, take care of yourself, do the hard work. And somebody else hears that and they feel inundated. They go, oh my God, the guy's attacking me. nothing I ever post like honestly like no bullshit nothing I ever post is anything I would not say to myself nothing I ever write about nothing I ever talk about nothing ever podcast about is anything less than what I would say to me first agreed but I understand that other people do not understand that and we live a cancel culture like obviously right and and like I don't think you get canceled

unless you choose to be and I certainly am not saying that that's in store for me but you can hurt feeling. So let's go into this. That's true. Yes. Perception, all right. You know you're right. You know it because you've lived it, braved it, and understand it.

But there's always two sides to a story. There's tact on delivering a message. What tact did you use to correct yourself from that hiccup? And what is something that you can convey to our listeners to start implementing using the message or the action item that you did to correct yourself. Yeah, I think the biggest thing in that moment is I just looked at and I asked myself this question. If I was in a position where I was 10 years ago, 12 years ago, 20 years ago, and I read this, how would I have felt about it?

Because ultimately, what I am about, I'm about service, I'm about bringing value to people's life, about teaching them what I've learned, what I understand, what I've overcome in a way that it's practical for them to take it with them and influence and create massive change and transformation in their life. And so I looked at that and I said, that's not the way to do it. Talking at someone and talking to someone are not the same thing. And so I had to take a step back and I said, you know what, course correct. When I filter things through posting, now I'm going to sleep on it because guess what? I thought I got too. And so now I'm going to sleep on it. I'm going to come back. I'm going to look at it tomorrow and go, is this still the way that I believe

that this needs to convey to be conveyed? If yes, I'm putting it into the world. If no, let me course correct and rewrite it. Let me republish it. Let me go back through this due diligence of making sure that it's insightful and empowering. And not necessarily motivational. I think motivation is like, man, whatever. But can it get is there a tool in there? Is there a tool in there? Is there something tangible that someone can take from what I just said. And if there's not, then I need to think about what I'm doing. And that's the thing. Like we're quick.

As human beings, I believe this. We're kind of just quick to go with our first reaction. We are reactive. And so one of the things I'm trying to be better at is being proactive. Even in my own life, my own business, you know, having anticipation of what is to come, I think is really interesting to me right now. And I'm like, how can I anticipate, you know, four moves ahead on the chessboard? Okay.

So what you're describing is critical reasoning. Yeah. Well, but I mean, also it's really about having the emotional wherewithal to recognize whether or not you are impacting people negatively. Even though you may or may not be right. That's regardless. Are you, like, are you negatively impacting people? Well, that depends now.

What if they don't like who you are? What if they don't like your tonality? Yeah. I don't care if you don't like me. That's the truth. I don't care. What does it have to do with me? You're not liking me as not.

That's your problem. That is not my problem. But in that also, like, I am about being of service. Am I being of service? Because if you're negatively impacting the people who, look to you for guidance, you are not. And that was where I got caught. Just looking at it and going, wait a second, hold on, wait, wait, pause.

I understand what I'm trying to convey, but they don't. Can you say that again, please? Say that one more time. Yes, I understand what I'm trying to convey, but they don't, the people consuming it. So that means that it's misinterpreted, which means it's a miscommunication, which means into the wrong pair of eyes or right pair of eyes, like it goes a certain direction. And so I had to take a step back from that. And that's where this whole practical aspect of thinking about, it's a look before you leap effectively, right?

And knowing that as a person in a leadership role and as a person trying to create massive change in the world, like are the words that I'm using being used in a way that people are actually understanding that are impactful? impact can be positive and negative. And of course, look, there's always going to be people don't like me. I have a person right on Amazon. They destroyed my book. My book has all five-star reviews except this one. And they destroyed it.

And I go, you know what? That person's not for me. That's okay. I'm not for them. That's okay. I hope they find who they're supposed to find. I like that. No, that's really good.

So let's look at this next. coming generation, what is some advice you could give them to start stepping out of their comfort zone? I mean, we had it lucky for being millennials. We got to experience everything. A lot of people will disagree and say we've experienced quite a shit ton, but you know what? I'm going to be optimistic about it. But what advice could you give the next generation so that they can be prepared to take on the torch when it's their turn? Yeah, I think now is the greatest time in human history. to be alive. Like I know, like, I know like there's darkness in the world, but there's always been darkness in the world. That's never gone away. That said, there's more media influence on the way

we think than ever before. And so you got to understand that there's a filter being cast in front of you about the way you should interpret the world. Because I'll tell you right now, I've traveled the world. I've lived in multiple countries. I've spoken all over the place. I'm just a kid from the hood who wasn't supposed to make it out. And I know this. People are good. People are good. And so there are going to be people that judge you. There are going to be people that shame you, people that guilt you. They're going to do it regardless of whether or not you're living life on your terms. So you might as well live life on your terms. Yes. People don't like me. Okay. And. And, right? Stop being, it's fear, right?

People are caught up in fear. We're so worried about judgment and shame. But look, here's the thing. That's fear. And if you don't step through that fear, if you don't face that fear, nothing in your life will be different. Nothing in your life will be different. And you'll always be in this position where you're just like, well, I guess this is

who I am, even though I really want to go over here and be this person. Like, this is not to be crass. The Michael having this conversation with you right now. is a creation. I've built this person from scratch. Fuck, yeah. Regardless of the fact that people don't fucking like me. I like that.

That's what we have to view ourselves as. When people give me that look like I look like an asshole, no, this is the fucking military. I'm a machine. I'm ready for anything. Are you? What have you been doing in your downtime? Yeah. I think at the end of the day, what life is all about with,

the decisions that we make. And if you choose, this is where it gets fucked up and people get caught. If you choose to be indecisive and nonchalant about your future, you don't get a complaint. I like that. You don't get a complaint. And that is a hard pill to swallow because that means that you have to do something difficult and take responsibility for your life. Because look, there's no Disney moment.

Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody cares either. And that's not to be an asshole. I promise, it's just the reality of the world. And we sit here waiting for fucking prince or princess charming to come and save us and take us and sweep us away to what's next in our life. They're not coming. You've got to be the hero of your own story. You've got to be willing to face all of the.

darkness, to cross the thresholds and to the unknown, to look at it from this perspective and understanding that at the end of the day, you're going to die, right? Period. That is the worst case scenario. Yes. It doesn't actually get worse than that. Death is the end. And I don't know about you, but when I die, I don't have any fucking regrets. And that's how I try to live my life every day. Be uncomfortable. Do difficult things. Challenge the narrative that you have about who it is that you're capable of being. Like to an extent, like, I really truly believe, like, you can do anything in your life. But I can't believe in you for you. And if you don't believe in yourself, who will? Exactly. Now, when you started to craft this new Michael,

the Michael and broken. You like how I said that. It was very elegant. It was. Trust it. What was the difficult part when you started to negotiate this character when you came in contact with people you've known in your past as you were changing your identity? Man, that is the question, right? Like, that's a phenomenal question.

Look, here's the reality. And one of my mentors taught me. this and it really hits rings true like to get what you want in life you're going to have to give something up you're going to have to and a lot of times it's the people and and that's not to say those people don't bring value to you that's not to say you don't love those people or cherish those people but you know if you want to change the world you're not going to do it at happy hour you know what I'm saying like like the truth about it is you know I distinctly remember these pivotal turning points in my life of, you know, I'm going to go into sobriety.

I'm going to go into celibacy. I'm going to stop going to the club on Friday nights. I'm going to stop being party guy, you know, and I just watched people dwindle away. I just watched it. You know, it was, it was this shifting. It was a changing of the tide where even people, the people I thought were my best friends, right? My best friends are not those people any longer. Why?

because people are terrified of the idea of change. You break the status quo when you say this is no longer who I am. And Jay-Z has one of my favorite quotes of all time. People around you saying that you changed, well, I didn't do all this work to stay the same. And that's how I think about it every single day. I didn't do all this shit. I didn't go through hell and back to be the person I was eight years ago, 12 years ago. three days ago, right?

Like I want to be different. I want to be evolving. I want to be better. Right. And so those people, look, and this is a hard reality. Like this is,

this is the real hard pill to swallow. Like, your mom might be the person in your way right now. And that's true. Yes. And that's true. Right. And,

and in that truth, you have to come to the understanding that if you want what's on the other side, you're going to have to make a hard decision. You know, one of the hardest things I've ever done. And I'm not preaching from a pulpit here. I lived this. At 14 years old, I put a restraining order on my mother. 14, I did that.

Fuck, yes. At 18, I told her, I'm never going to talk to you again. And until the day she died, I really only talked to her once or twice. I promise you this. I would not be having this conversation with you right now had I not made me that choice. It is the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, period. But it had to be done because I watched, I looked at, look, we have the ability.

It's anticipation. I looked at it and I said, I know exactly what the fuck's up that boat. I've been down that road before. I'm done going down that road. Yes. And it's to this day, it ain't easy. But the choices, the decisions that change our life, they're never easy. I've never made an easy decision in my life that changed it in a dramatically powerful way.

And at the end of the day, you're going to have to decide. And I'm not saying like, you know, never talk to your mom again. Like that, there's a lot in that. Yes. Right? There's a lot in that. But what I am saying is you need to take inventory about the people that you're engaged with, that you're spending your time with that you're committing your energy to because some of them

are not reciprocating it and a lot of them secretly want you to fail yes and that's a fucked up thing to hear but it's true yes and i'll tell you this this is how you can ensure yourself you're on the right path you make that change you do it for a month maybe three months and you still want to go back to your old self we'll walk down that path you're going to see the same people doing the Same shit. Nothing different about them but you. That's when you can come in reality. And if they're happy, great. But if you're not, that's a problem. You know, I know for a certain, I can tell you right now that there are people from my past who they are doing the same thing this weekend that they did 10 years ago. And that's okay. But if you're complaining, shut the fuck up. You don't get to. You don't get a complaint and not be willing to do the work. You just don't because if you sit around and you complain all day and you're not willing to do the work, you're spinning. You're a hamster on a wheel.

Can't do something. Do something. Hell yeah. Fucking Michael. I like that. What can you leave our audience with that I haven't already asked you? Yeah, man. Look, I think at the end of the day, I'll give you something really practical here.

Please. People right now are always talking about mindset. It is the fucking buzzword of the decade. But nobody tells you what mindset means. So I'm going to tell you what it means. This is really important. This is everything. Mindset is this.

What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak become your actions. And your actions become your reality. If you want to create change in your life, you have to change the way you're talking to yourself. If you're saying I'm not good enough, I'm not strong enough, I'm not capable enough, I'm a loser, I suck, you are going to act that way and your life will reflect that. But if you change that narrative into the scope of the frame of what I'm about to give you

and you convince yourself of this until it fucking becomes true, I promise you on a long enough timeline, your life will be everything you ever want. And it starts with this. I am the kind of person who is kind to myself. I am the kind of person who is kind to myself. You're probably thinking yourself, and this guy's been so intense the whole time. Kindness is everything.

It's one of my values. Why? Because when you act through the frame of kindness, you act as a kind person. When you think to yourself, I'm the kind of person who's kind of myself. your action will reflect that because what is a kind person going to do? They're going to challenge themselves.

They're going to push themselves. They are going to go and do the hard thing, the uncomfortable thing, the difficult thing to create change. And on a long enough timeline, their life will be different than it is today. But you're saying shit to yourself right now that if you said to me, would get you punched in the face or arrested, and you're wondering why you're not successful, change the way you mindset is this. What you think becomes what you speak.

What you speak becomes your actions and your actions become your reality. Well put. Well put. So how can our listeners get in touch with you? They want to learn more. Yeah, absolutely. I'm everywhere on social media at Michael Unbroken. And you can listen to the Think Unbroken podcast.

The Think Unbroken podcast is on every single platform. Excellent. I'll be sure to link all that in the show notes. Michael, I appreciate you coming on the show. Yeah, it is my pleasure. Thank you for having me, my friend. Of course, you take care. You've been listening to Your Transformation Station,

your voice on the hard truths of leadership. We hope you've enjoyed the show. We hope you've gotten some useful and practical information. Make sure to like, rate, and review the show. Remember, your Transformation Station is on. all major platforms, including Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube at YTS The Podcast, and visit the website at YTSThepodcast.com. Till next time.

It's tax season, and at LifeLock, we know you're tired of numbers. But here's a big one you need to hear. Billions. That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it guaranteed.

One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com slash podcast for the threats you can't control. Terms apply.