Your Transformation Station - 79. Give it the D for Success

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Favazza interviews life coach (Daniel Tolson) on "trauma", psychotherapy concepts, how to build mental resistance and provides us with a laundry list of facts about our own "psyche". Greg gives a relevant take on outdated "familial relationships" and why they’re holding us back from our true success. PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A younger version of herself, how to negotiate life with what we were taught. Well, they didn't teach us anything. So now we have spent the majority of our life. We're in our 30s still trying to figure that shit out, figure out what we're doing, how we're going to get there when they failed. And yet they want to still be in your life. You've got to make that decision. It's like, no, you've done enough.

How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in? Yourself. Join your host, Greg Favaza, as your voice on the hard truths of leadership, your transformation station connecting clarity to the cutting edge of leadership. As millennials, we can establish change, not only ourselves, but through organizational change, bringing transparency that goes beyond the organization and reflects back into ourselves. Extracting, extracting, actionable. advice and alternative perspectives that will take you outside of yourself. Daniel Tolson, welcome to your transformation station. How you doing today? I'm fantastic. Thank you so much. Great to begie.

I appreciate you reaching out. You have quite a background. Can you tell our audience, give us a little snapshot and explain to our audience what you're going to teach us today? Well, I remember at school my teachers used to tell me I was stupid, I was dumb, and I was a waste of space. And I thought to myself, if that's truth, I better make some space for others. So I remember one day I left school and I thought, I'll bring my life to an end. So I went out at the front of the school, there's a main road, and the cars were going past, and I thought, this is it, and I'll just step out in front of them. So I stepped out in front of the next car that came along. But the teachers were right.

I was stupid. I was dumb, and I did it at a crossing where all the cars stop. That was one of my first failures. So today we're going to talk about fears doubts and limiting beliefs and how they really hold people back and to give people an understanding, you know, where the root cause comes from. And I'll tell you what, from my research, it's not all about your lifetime. Your traumas can be passed down through the bloodline. And even if you believe it, they can be passed down through past lives.

Yes, no, I completely agree. when I look back and reflect on my life and I can see the resemblance of where my parental figures have implemented. It's, I don't want to say a curse because it doesn't cover it enough. Just these nasty habits, this just blind, near-sighted view of what you see, but not even recognizing what actually is going on and how you're affected and how you're affecting other people. 100% they said this in the Bible. They said the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. And it's a result of our imprint period. It's a result of those first seven years of our life.

And the major part of this imprint period where we see these behaviors and these characteristics come from is the time in our mother's womb. And this is when the imprint period starts before we're even consciously aware, which we become conscious at around about seven or eight. That imprinting is done in those formative years. Yes. Yes, I've heard similar with ages to three. Once that happens, you're negotiating with life what you've learned and what you're supposed to be. And if you weren't given the right set of principles, whether it's implemented from your parents, loving you, touching you enough, picking you up, giving you attention, just communicating with you, you're kind of fucked and you're relying on yourself to integrate what you learned throughout life. whether it's through trial tribulation or through self-development. Well, I'm going to quote your words. How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? Now, what we look at is if you want to raise high self-esteem children, there's got to be three things.

And it's got nothing to do with the fucking kid. It's to do with the parents. Three things. First thing, the parent must unconditionally love themselves. And let's go back to your words. if you can't create transformation in others, you can't create another if it's not in yourself.

So if you don't love yourself, you can't love your child. That's the first thing. The second thing is the parents must unconditionally love one another. And the third thing to raise emotionally intelligent and high self-sterm children is that the parent must unconditionally love the child.

And they must offer an unbroken stream of love in those formative years. Yes. And if the parents don't love themselves, they can't love the child. And that's just the facts. And then we get fucked from there. Yes.

History repeats itself. Now, from somebody who I'm talking about myself here, I've experienced Trump. I mean, I've had my arm in a sling by six months because my fucking parent tossed me because he had a fucking anger problem. He was an alcoholic, a piece of shit, still is to this day. I've had sexual abuse from a family member. Other family members have experienced

it. And the son of the bitch needs to be put down. There's a part of me that wants to just massacre pedophiles because he reminds me of that issue. So I have that inside me that's boiling. And I've chosen not to be the world's worst serial killer America has ever seen. As of yet, no, I'm joking. I decided. I like the temporal pre-saposition. I've decided not to go down that path, but I've decided to help people because I have this ability to keep moving forward and express all these things openly. Yes, I'm a male. Yes, I was in the military. Yes, I don't give a fuck because I know I'm better than who I was. And I know people will want to be like me because they aspire to learn how to do. live with their trauma. Now, you do a lot of sales, leadership coaching. You go into the very

psychology of human behavior in communication. Now, for somebody that has experienced this kind of trauma, what are some steps that they can do to start becoming authentic and being okay to embrace their vulnerabilities as their authentic self? Okay. Good question. Good question. Well, I think we've got to identify the grief cycle. That's probably the first thing that we've got to understand is that through trauma, we go through a grief cycle. And the first phase, the grief cycle is denial. And a lot of people just deny it. They put their head in the sand. They don't talk about it. And they just march on with life. Now, if they remain in denial, there's nothing they can do. So the first step is denial. The second thing is anger. And it's like

the anger that you've just expressed here. Now, anger in and of itself is not only a negative emotion. It's also a positive emotion. Anger can lead to a movement like you're doing. You're saying, fuck this. Through my anger, I'm going to save some fucking lives. I could kill the motherfucker. I know how I've been trained in the military, but that's not the solution. The solution is to prevent happening to the next generation. So we go from denial, we'll go to anger. And then after anger, we go to blame. And then at blame, people start saying, well, you fucking did this to me. But the problem is when they get stuck in blame, they remain a victim.

Yes. Now, I work with a client in Australia, and she was Australia's worst ever domestic violence case. And she was hit over the head with a baseball about 50 times. She survived. However, the perpetrator was about to be let out of jail. And she still couldn't move on with her life. He was about to get his freedom, but she hadn't recovered emotionally. she was still in that victim stage.

Now, after blame comes depression. And a lot of people are stuck in that deep well of depression. And they start to wallow in their own fucking misery and their own piss. And that's a problem. So the first four stages are the big problem. Where you're at is acceptance. Hey, this fucking happened to me. I can't change the past.

I can't change that person. All I can change is my direction and hopefully impact some other people's lives along the way. So we've got to identify where we're at in the growth cycle. Are we still in denial? Are we starting to get angry? And sometimes, Greg, we've got to get fucking angry. We're going to get fucking angry before we do something. And then we're going to get past the blame. We're going to get through the depression. And then we're going to get to acceptance. And it's at acceptance and only at acceptance that we can start to change our future.

Now, that's beautiful. I mean, that all the way up to here, this is beautiful with acceptance. Now, that is extremely difficult for me, for everybody. I know they, can take a hold of this and look at it from a different angle. I'm about to put it, people that we've experienced that have put this trauma on us, those are from our parents. Those are from our siblings. We grew up with. That was like a fucking prison. So I know people can relate to that. However, some people might have that ingrained into them that they just can't leave their parents behind. I feel like I'm in debt. Fuck, no, you're not. You're not in debt. They fucked you over. You keep moving. They did their job.

Now it's time to fix yourself because we look back. We got to, they were supposed to teach us as a younger version of herself how to negotiate life with what we were taught. Well, they didn't teach us anything. So now we have spent the majority of our life. We're in our 30s still trying to figure that shit out, figure out what we're doing, how we're going to get there when they failed. And yet they want to still be in your life. You got to make that decision. It's like, no, you've done enough.

If I keep you around, I keep reliving the history. At that point, I can't heal. People want to say, well, that's my, you will never heal until you remove the problem completely. 100%. 100%. You know, through this trauma, we go through what's called a Uden moment. And this was one of the big discoveries for me. These traumas are unexpected.

We didn't ask for it. It was put upon us. were innocent at these ages and it's unexpected. So that's the first thing. The second thing is it's fucking dramatic. The pain of physical abuse, the pain of emotional abuse, the pain of sexual abuse, the pain of spiritual abuse. It's dramatic.

It's also isolating. So during that time that you went through and others went through, what do you do? Like you now, you're in your children's closet. What do you do? You stick your fucking head in the sand. You go and hide because you're like, I can't tell anybody this. How can I say this about my mother, my first? father, my uncle, how can I say this? Who's going to fucking believe me? And so it's isolating.

Yes. And the final part of a Uden moment is there's no strategy. There's no coping mechanism. And so this is when people start to turn to self-harm or they try to self-medicate because they don't know what to do. They don't know how to put up their hand. And it's a fault of society. Society says asking for help is a sign of weakness. Fuck that. Asking for help is a sign of strength. and we have to realize that there is no shame in asking for help. We must do it. I really like this. You're speaking from experience.

Have you endured some trauma that you haven't mentioned? Oh, many of them. I was thinking about two and I just wrote them down before. I went and traveled the world and this is a good one. This is a quick one. I looked in this newspaper and it said, hey, come and work on a dairy farm in Ireland. So I jumped on a flight and went to Ireland. Nice.

And I went over this city and I went and worked on a farm. And this guy picked me up from the pub that I was waiting at. He had no teeth. And as soon as I saw him smile, I went, I'm in fucking trouble. This guy's got no teeth. He's going to fucking eat me alive. And I went back to his house and I went and worked on his dairy farm for a day. And all those bad vibes were kicking in.

And I thought to myself, he's probably going to skin me and wear my skin as like a jacket or something. So I started to freak out. And I ran away. but I got away. And so the fear kicked in when I got to the hotel and I thought to myself, I didn't even research where I was going. And then I found later on that this place called Limerick City was actually called Stab City. It was the most dangerous place in Olive Island. And there I am, little white boy from Australia 21 years old working on a dairy farm, milk and cows. And that was traumatic for me. But, you know, after I came back, I went and traveled in America.

I came home. I went to a party and I said to my mates, you know, I'm going to be the designated how to drive tonight. You guys drink, you guys chase tail. I'll drive. And I walked out to my car and six guys jumped me. They jumped me with cricket bats and cricket sums and tried to beat me me to death. And the only thing I could do is I was big. I'm a big guy, but I couldn't find them. There's too many of them. So all I could do was going to self-preservation. So I just put my hands over my head and they beat the shit out of me. And they'll try and kill me. And then one of them hit me across the arm so hard that it broke the bone. But it sounded like a shotgun. It's right. Boom.

And everybody just pelted when they heard this sound. And I ran, I just bolted. My flip-flops came off and I ran down the street about a mile until I couldn't go any further. And then I looked down and my arm was just bent off at a 90 degree. And so I jumped in the bushes. Somebody come and found me. The next thing I'm in hospital, I'm in the emergency room for eight hours. I can't get support.

I can't get help. I can't get medication. I go home, grab a bottle of Jim Beam at 8 o'clock in the morning, blah, blub, blimp, drink until I pass out, wake up. How the hell did that happen? End up staying in hospital for three days, getting four plates, two pins, sorry, four pins and two plates. It was traumatic. I didn't want to go out.

But I still had to be a man. I still had to be macho. And I didn't cope for many years. That was a big one. So growing up with those experiences, what was your support system like when you wanted to go out? Because I want to cover this after this explanation because it's really good where we can take it. but I feel like there's a lot of people that don't have that strong support system that will give you that opportunity to let you go out and decide to go on that dairy farm or to go out and see what you can do and then if you fail you can fall back at a safe somewhat safe place. Let me go back even further.

When I was 11, I was diagnosed with linear sequential learning disability. I had a curved bind. My knees were collapsing like Forrest Gump when I ran. And I was putting into remedial therapy for five years. After five years of remedial therapy and cranial realignments, I then contracted Epstein-Barr virus and chronic fatigue. And then after that, I had two knee reconstructions. Now, I couldn't talk to anybody about how I was feeling.

Because where I grew up, it was in the western suburbs of Sydney. And you just had to toughen the fuck up. Yeah. You couldn't be a fucking husband. no-mo. You couldn't be a weakling. You had to just tough it up. And so when I was doing my sports through all of that, I was afraid. I was afraid to fall and fail, but you just had to pretend. You had to pretend everything was okay. You couldn't show a weakness in those areas. So throughout my life, there was no place to turn. It wasn't until I was probably 28 when I met a life coach.

And I said, mate, I feel fucked up. Can you help me? And then I realized there was people. who actually would support you without judgment. Interesting. Okay. That's interesting. Before we go down that with the life coach, now having that ability to just go out there and try an opportunity and pivot towards another opportunity.

That was the ability that I achieved when I left home, When I joined the military, I didn't go back because I really, I realized how fucked up my life was from looking at it from an outside perspective. So then I just kept going. I kept going from another state to another state and facing a lot of my fears. So was there like a pivotal point where you decided I'm going to go out to that dairy farm or someplace else that led to the dairy farm? Now, just talking about these traumas. I just thought of one here that was really interesting and how I coped. So when I was probably about nine or ten, I was sitting in my parents' kitchen.

Parents around in the backyard, you know, we're on six acres in the western suburbs. You know, nobody's moved into the street for 30 years. Nobody's left the street for 30 years. And I heard something in my room. And I went up to my room, looked around, nothing there, went back to the kitchen, heard some noise, went back into my brother's room, looked around, turn around. and there's a guy in my bedroom like a home invader. He's just coming to my room and he's going through all of my stuff and he's the size of my door.

So he's like six foot five and three foot wide. And then he pulls his hand up to me and forms like a gun with his fingers and puts it up against my forehead and goes, and I just froze. And then I ran my scram. I'm like, Dad, there's somebody in the house. And my dad starts chasing him down the street with a set of hedge clippers. Now, I remember from that stage, I was traumatized. I hated sleeping in my house.

Now, I probably lived at my parents' house, and then they've got a granny flat, a second house on the property. And I'd probably live there until I was about 25 or 26, but I wouldn't sleep. And I used to sleep with a baseball bat under my bed, and then I used to have this machete, this giant knife that was about three and a half foot long. And I wouldn't sleep, and I don't recognize I slept properly for years. As soon as I heard a little crack, I'd walk up, I'd pace around the house with the big maglight. I'd have the machete in my hand ready to go.

Hell yeah. There was no coping mechanism. It was just, if somebody's there. I'm going to swing this thing as much as I can. But there was nothing there. But I was still traumatized. And every time these events happened over and again, over and over and again, the fear become stronger.

And essentially, I became weaker. And then I got to a stage where I was like, I can't even stay at this house. So I went and worked on that. But even I'm now 41, the last time I was at my folks house, I was probably about 38. What do I do? I close the doors and I put on the alarm when I'm sleeping inside the house. I'm still petrified of it. And it's just one that I've found really hard.

to get past because it was such a big experience. So how I live today is I live in an apartment. My apartment has two security yards, 24 hours a day, big gated community. Nobody can get in. And this is how I sleep sweet today. That's my only coping mechanism. Wow. Okay. So going back to the environment where you grew up, like that shit comes right back. I felt like I was the only individual that would be going through that. That's really interesting. When did you notice that? I probably wasn't consciously aware of it. That's the problem. You know how we have these different levels of consciousness. I was probably unconscious about it. And I was probably just doing it out of like a biological survival mode. Yes. And again, when I returned to Australia, I left Australia in

2007, went and lived in the Middle East, returned back in 2014. It wasn't until I came back into 2014 with my wife and my daughter that I went, shit, I'm actually really afraid here. And that's when I reached out to a coach again. And he helped me take off the charge from it. So the emotional intensity is not as great, but I'm now consciously aware of the fear. So what I do is I go and protect myself. It's like wrapping myself up in cotton wall. Yes, that is what I wanted to illustrate with these little things that we do. Like for me, like when I go into a store, I have to analyze all the entrances and exits,

the fire exits, the, and everything that I need to know in case something happens. When I'm outside my house, where is my weapon? Can I reach my weapon if somebody's approaching? Yeah, I got fucking security cameras. Yes, I have a weapon on every floor. I'm always ready and waiting for something.

And that is just, extra bandwidth that is going on because of the trauma. And we don't even ask ourselves, why the fuck are we doing this in the first place? You know, what happens here, and I've got this beautiful technology that I use with my clients? Our emotions and these emotional experiences get imprinted into the amygdala. And they leave an imprint into our mind and body. And that stays with us for our entire life. And what happens is throughout different times of our lives and because of different

triggers, it gets reactivated. And every time it gets activated, it strengthens again. So when I was doing some personal development work, I had a look at my emotional life journey. And I started to measure all of these emotions that were imprinted to the amygdala. And they still show up today. The emotional intensity is still there today. So sometimes it's not always about fully overcoming the fear with therapy, but it's also about having conscious coping mechanisms. I was in the airline industry and every time I hop on to an aircraft today I still do my SOPs. I get on there and I go, alert, aircraft type, location, equipment, risks, threats, responsibilities. I go through it inside of my mind. But that does make me feel safe. So I have a conscious and an unconscious mechanism.

I could not agree with you anymore with the military. I can go on and on about that, but there's no sense to do that. Now, with getting through that, with having a mentor, your transformation station has shifted. We're going into mental health and being able to live our own life as a leader. Now, cultivating that mindset, well, we have to purge the traumas, but also learn to live with that through a neutral perspective, could you give us some insight through your experience on how people can just cultivate the ability to take the first step in addressing change in their life? I could give you four Ds. The first D is desire. And you really have to have a burning desire to get past this. It can't be something like the vapor you're smoking before.

You can't just go inhale, exhale, and it all disappears. You know, you've got to have this burning desire. It's got to come from within. And you've got to say to yourself, I really want to master this. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have come in. Because when you do face the fears, you've got to at some level relive those episodes, even if it's just for a short period of time, you've got to be prepared to face those demons. The second thing is making a decision. And in life, we've got to burn the emotional bridges. We've also got to burn the mental bridges. And we've got to discipline ourselves to say, I'm not going to fucking play that picture over and over and again in my mind. See how the mind works is our internal dialogue, our internal representations, those pictures we play in our head, they influence 95% of our feelings. So we have to get disciplined and we have to learn not to play those old memories around. Now, there's technologies today of the mind that can help you change the way that you think. And these are quite rapid transformations.

But again, you've got to get back to desire. Do you want to overcome it? Do you want to be a victor? Do you want to be a winner? Or do you want to be a fucking victim? And do you want to whinge and whine for the rest of your life? I got to pause you. I got to pause you. 95%. Tell me your source and what says it's 95%. So this is probably well documented. In fact, you could research Brian Tracy in the book Maximum Achievement, which was written probably back in early 1990. And you'll also find a lot of people in emotional intelligence, Daniel Goldman of Harvard. I'll talk all about this as well. Beautiful. And so it's what we focus on. The second thing is, third thing is discipline.

And what you have to do is it's like going to the gym. You've got to go to the mental gym. You've got to learn to work a different mental muscle. So yeah, our thoughts are habitual by nature. Dr. Bruce Lipton, he says 95% of what we do is just on autopilot. So these old traumas, they just keep rolling around in your mind if you don't challenge them. And then finally, you've got to have the determination. Once you start out on the journey of resolving these traumas, you've got to see it through to the end.

See, majority of people don't have the staying power to stay all the way to the end. See, if you give up too soon, what happens is you create a failure mechanism and then you convince yourself, your bullshit stories slip in that I can't beat this, I can't overcome this, there's no hope for me, there's no future. So it's those four days. It's the desire. It's the decision that you've got to make. You've got to have the discipline and the determination. I like that. And I agree with the failure mechanism. We're talking about back rationalization. I mean, when we get to that point, we can decide, oh, this is, I know I can't do it. I mean, this is who I am, or this is what I'm just naturally going to be. And I feel like I can accept it. Because we need to accept ourselves. We need to accept who we are, embrace our vulnerabilities. So I feel like there's a gray area where, yes, you do accept.

but then also cultivating that growth mindset to get past that fixed mindset and to keep going to the actual delayed outcome that you seek and you desire. What does that lie in the individual that wants to be better? I mean, I feel like it's all about what's important to them and where they are happy. But I would like to illustrate to those people that are you happy now? Where could you be? Where could have you have been if you would have dealt with this shit sooner? I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if I didn't have these stories.

We're going to embrace some of this shit. You know, 50 cents said, you've got to turn your shit into sugar. And we're going to embrace our shit. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have bruises, if I didn't have war wounds. People wouldn't fucking believe me. It's because I've been through what I've been through. And I know that change is possible that I believe that other people can change. And so a lot of people who get into my field of coaching, they've never had a bruise,

they've never fallen over, they've never had a failure. And so when it comes to helping other people learn to become resilient, they've got no personal case study. So my shit has been turned into sugar and I can look at my clients and I can have vulnerability. I can say this is my journey. It's going to fucking hurt. However, once you get to the end, it's going to be worth it. So I think we've got to start to embrace it.

and the vulnerability comes in with how we tell our story. A lot of people tell their story in a way that gives them identification. Hey, I'm the guy with the trauma. Hey, I'm the guy who got fucked in the ass by my uncle, all that stuff. And they tell the story. They tell the story. And, you know, people go, oh, you're poor thing. But see, there's four things that we're going to realize is that negative emotions come about by blame.

If we always blame somebody else, we can't move forward from. our emotions. They're moved on. We're stuck in the past. Secondly, it's justification. If we keep trying to chase punishment for that person, we're still playing the role of the victim. They've moved on. We can't. Thirdly, it's identification. And in Taiwan where I live, we call it Pi Pi. Hey, so what happens is people build monuments to their pain. Their life is about this pain story, but it keeps them trapped. So what we've got to do is when we tell the story, we've got to change the dialogue and say, this is what happened to me. I got fucked in the bum by my uncle, and this is what I learned about it, and this is what I want to share with you. And it's not about,

hey, look at me, come over and cry on my shoulder. Yes. No, it's about what other people can learn. And once we start to learn to do that, we can all move forward. Now that, I like that. Now, that's how coaches should be doing, because you can see it plain as day when they come up to you and they just tell you, hey, I'm all about improving your business. I'm all about helping you see your problems. Really, have you sought out your own problems first before you're going to tell me mine? They don't know how to answer that. They look at me like, I'm a dick.

Well, no, I feel like you're the asshole because you're promising me something that you can't deliver. Now, what can you deliver our audience and how can you ensure them that it is possible for them to be successful? When I was being mentored by Brian Tracy, I remember he said to me clearly, We're sitting in a boardroom and we're sitting with this lady who coached CEOs and she's a CEO coach and she's a business coach and she doesn't want to listen to any of this personal shit. And she's complaining about having to listen to the personal shit. And Brian and I were talking and he laughed and I said, what are you laughing about Brian? He said 80% of the stuff that we do as a business coach is considered life coaching. And if people can't get past those mental and emotional blocks, they'll never unleash their full potential.

So on the way to our goals, we've got a series of constraints that we have to overcome. We've got to overcome the internal blockages. We've got to change our belief systems. We've got to look at all of our decisions in the past that were good and that were bad. We've got to look at all of our memories. And one memory that's limiting is enough to hold us back. So if we consider something like quitting or giving up, and if we fantasize about quitting up, quitting for a minimum of 10 minutes, that's enough to sabotage our success. So we're going to get rid of

all of that emotional mental junk before we begin. And then the message for the audience is, stop looking for BNAIDS solutions. You've got to deal with the root cause. All of your emotions, all of your traumas, all PTSD has its root cause between the ages of zero and seven. But you know what most people do, Greg, they say I had a lovely childhood. It was a beautiful childhood. My parents were fucking perfect. My parents would have never hit me. Oh no, my dad threw me across the room because he loved me. Fuck that. It's almost sociably unacceptable to talk negatively about your parents. You know, in the NLP, which I teach my clients, we say everybody's doing the best they can with what they got available. But you know what? Some people are fucking assholes. And they are.

And we have to face the fact and say, it was a fucking prick of a person. and I don't want anything to do with him. That's okay. You're allowed to say that. You don't have to protect them anymore. You've got to get on with your life. So we do have to deal with the root cause of it. And until we deal with the root cause, we can't move forward.

You know, psychologists will tell us it takes 50 years to get over the first five years of our life. So we can do it faster. We can do it the fast way or we can do it the slow way. I recommend doing it the fast way. You can get rid of a negative emotion. You can get rid of PTSD in a matter of a couple of hours. with the technology we have the mind today. But you've got to be willing.

You've got to be willing to do it. I like that. Now, do you happen to know what psychologists happened to mention that for 50 years over the five years? Joe, you got me now. Yes, I got a challenge. I have been Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I think it might have been Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who might have said that one. Okay.

I appreciate that. Now, that is heartwarming. To me, I have a sick twist. sense of humor. So that is nice to hear that because you go to different places and they're telling you to be strong and it's okay. And it's like, no, like this, it makes me uncomfortable because now it's like you're condoning this, that I'm somehow crazy and everybody else is fine inside this little safe bubble, you know, and it makes me not want to ever go back to the shit. But for people that want to implement a change that are seeking to be, you know,

better. What is some good advice for them and some bad advice to avoid? There's three requisites to make a permanent change. And you've got to do these three things. And if you don't do these three things, then you'll keep looping around and you'll keep falling flat on your face. The first thing, you have to let go of the five major negative emotions. The first one is anger. Now, there's 12 different types of anger. I bet, Most people didn't realize that. There's sadness. There's about 12 different types of sadness.

You've got to get rid of your fears. See, there's only two natural fears, and you're a father, and you know this. There's a fear of falling, and that there's a fear of loud noises. Everything else has been learned. Now, what most people don't realize, they go, I'm so depressed. You're not fucking depressed. You're angry. And so I had a client in the UK.

She was being treated for depression. And I said, hey, depressed? She says no. And I said, what age? She goes, I'm fucking angry. See what most people don't realize There's a lot of anger inside. Family.

It looks a little different for everyone. For some, it's mom and dad. For others, roommates who feel like family. And for others, it's your significant other, their golfing buddies, your children, a high school soccer team starting lineup, and oh, look, they're all taking you up on the offer to stay for dinner,

really testing the limits of that phrase, the more the merrier. But no matter where you call home, Geico makes it easy to bundle and save on home and car insurance. easier than making three frozen pizzas and assorted frozen veggies into a cohesive meal. The depression. So you've got to get rid of anger and sadness. You've got to get rid of fear. You've got to get rid of all the emotional hurt and you have to let go of guilt. And guilt is the big one.

There's five different types of guilt and you've got to get through all of them to make a permanent change. Once you get through those, you've then got to move and work on your self-limiting beliefs. See, a lot of people have a limiting belief that says, I can't move forward. from this. If you don't attend to that limiting belief, if I can't move forward, you'll never move forward. You've got to move on from that. And then what you've got to do is you've got to get clear on your goals for the future. So 85% of your motivation comes from the future. 15% of it comes from the past. But whilst you're focused on the past and all the shit, then you stay there and you can't get motivated. You stay demotivated. So you've got to get clarity on your goals.

So that's the first step. You've got to let go. The second thing is you've got to take action. See, it's okay to go to therapy, and I know a lot of people who are therapeutic junkies. They go to therapy, they go to therapy, they go to therapy, because somebody's listening to my story. Yes. What you've got to do is you've got to take action towards your goals. And then the third thing is you've got to enforce boundaries.

And this is probably not as far, and I'll tie it back into what you're saying before. What do you do with these family members? you've got to lay down the ground rules. You are never allowed to touch me ever again. You will never touch my children for as long as you live. You will never bring up the past. And then you must not allow yourself or your family members into those environments ever again. And you've got to enforce those boundaries.

And if you can do those three things, let go with the negative motions and limiting decisions. If you take action and then you enforce your boundaries, you will be fine. it was an event that had been a little while back where I decided to let my family see my my first born son for the first time and watch them because I haven't had a fucking vacation with the family like just me and the significant other ever so we needed it and there was some ground rules that were laid down and well they broke those ground rules one they let the individual that ruined my childhood around my son and my significant other's daughter.

And that was one that really angers me a lot. And two, they took my son out when they were not supposed to and didn't buckle him in. They didn't know how to buckle him in. So they just put him in the back seat. I mean, he was only like four months. I mean, anything that could happen, he would be fucking dead. And at that point, I would be released to. be the world's worst killer

and I'm not even joking like you have no clue but again I can hear it in your phone yes I can say it in your eyes but we're not going to go down that road he's got he's done so when you when you said that it's like

I want to just oh I want to fucking let it out that is really good that was really good now what is some bad advice to avoid for our audience to look after, look out after. Stop trying to do it yourself. Stop trying to do it yourself.

People are trying to fix themselves. And there's a rule in psychology that you can't be your own therapist. I could be the best coach in the world what I do, but I can't coach myself. I coach people who have billion-dollar businesses. I coach self-made millionaires, but I can't coach myself. It's impossible. because you can't be objective. You can't dissociate. So even for me, you know, let's think about my week this week. I have a coach. He's from Canada. I worked with him at 8 a.m. this morning.

I hire a coach because I want to be my best, but I can't coach myself. I can coach others. I can't do it myself. So stop trying to do it yourself. And what we've all got to get to is we're going to raise our hand and we're going to ask for help. And asking for help is a sign of strength. And here's the interesting thing, Greg, no successful person will ever fucking criticize you for asking for help. It's only the unsuccessful motherfuckers who criticize you for asking for help. They'll say you're fucking weak or something. A successful person will never criticize you. So you've got to make sure you ask for help from the right people.

That's the way forward. But there is an approach to that. I mean, you can't just walk up to the most successful individual. Hey, man, I really could use some help on how to get there. He would just laugh at you. You say, fuck off. I mean, like you and the rest of the motherfuckers. However, if it was in a large group setting and that was the main goal.

Oh, yeah, I'll be glad to help everybody. No, you fucking won't. Don't you lie to everyone. Don't you dare. So what is a tactic for somebody that could, there's a way to reach out for help appropriately without coming off too much? That makes any sense. I heard a speaker say recently.

Raw is real. And we live in a world of Insta fame and all this Instagram bullshit. And it's a way of self-promoting and self-marketing. Great. But when we go and meet successful people, you're better off to be honest. You better off to look them in the wide of the eyes and say, can I have 60 seconds of your time? I would like advice. And ask them for 60 seconds.

See, the problem is people say, can I have 30 minutes your time? Nobody's got 30 minutes. Can I have 15 minutes time? Nobody's got 15 minutes. have you got 60 seconds? This is my situation. What advice would you have? Who could you refer me to? and that's the way to do it. You know, that person might not be able to help you personally, but they could help you take the next step.

So it's like a game of snakes and ladders. You've got to climb the snakes. You've got to be prepared. You've got to be prepared to slide down the snakes, but you've got to ask. And you've got to keep looking for ways to solve your problem. You must ask. You know, in the Bible, I'm not preaching the word of God here.

But it says, knock and the door will open. And if you don't ask, you can't receive. So you've got to ask for help. Beautiful. That is wonderful. Daniel, can you give us a snapshot of your background. Let everybody know who you are, what's your credentials and where can people find you. Beautiful. Well, as a business coach, I specialize and I help my clients with three things.

My clients want to catapult their influence. They want to accelerate their impact and they want to unleash new income levels. Now, the beautiful part about me, Greg, is I got sick and I dropped out of high school. I never completed high school. So I went on a journey of self-development for 21 years. I've read more than a thousand books. I've trained with people like Brian Tracy, Drs, Tadden, Adriana, James, Dr. Edward de Bono. I've delivered more than five and a half thousand case studies into the science of emotional intelligence. And I have been learning and working with people all around the board for the past 21 years. I was also trained in leadership through Emirates Airline and I co-led a team of 17,000 people. And this is where I was trained as a leader. I was trained as a coach. And so from there, I also. I went and studied coaching and I have trained hundreds of coaches around the world. I've also studied NLP, the science of timeline therapy, hypnosis and many other modalities. And the reason why I did all of that was because I wanted to solve my own problems first. And after I solved my problems, I went to myself, this is fucking great. I want this for other people. And so today, between my wife and I,

we've influenced more than 25,000 people around the world. And just this year, I, in 2021, I trained 2,222 people on how to overcome their mental and emotional blockages. So that's a little bit about my background. Wow. That's awesome. And it reminds, like, it assures me that I'm on the right path because like everything I'm doing, I mean, it's for me first. Like that's what's helping me heal by doing these things, by getting on the podcast and

talking. I'm driving down the very lane that. I want to end up and I'm helping people along the way to where I'm going. That is fucking fantastic for me to know that. Now, please tell me one thing on emotional intelligence that we could take away from all your years' experience. I'm not letting that shit go. Can I tell you a story? Please.

So what we've got to start to do is we've got to start to think differently. You know, we are coming into a new world and the old world that we've been in just doesn't work anymore. And so we have access to new technologies of the mind. And I learned about regression techniques. And I have helped thousands of people around the world do regressions. And I met this guy and his name was Paul. You've got to remember this. His name was Paul.

And he came to my event and he said, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in any of this past life shit. And I said, well, thank you for sharing that with me. Could you keep an open mind for a couple of days? And he said, absolutely. Now, he had just lost his job. He'd lost his wife as she left him. And his daughters wouldn't speak to him.

He was in his 40s, and he sold his car to come and work with me. And I was running a workshop in the United Kingdom. On the first day, I started to do a regression. And I got him up in the hot seat, and I was doing a regression with him. And he started to cry. He said, oh, ah! And I said, Paul, you okay? And he goes, no.

And I said, what's wrong? He said, I'm in a past life. And I said, but you told me you didn't believe in any of that shit. So the interesting thing is conscious mind didn't believe it, but his unconscious mind did. And so I said to him what's happening in your memory. Now you've got to remember his name's Paul. And I said to him, what's happening in the memory? He said, Daniel, you wouldn't believe it.

He says, I was in a lifetime about 2,000 years ago. Now, I don't know if you remember what was happening about 2,000 years ago. There's a bloke called Jesus of Nazareth getting crucified. And Potchus pilots men are going around saying, do you know Jesus? And he said to me, Daniel, I was one of his followers. And I denied him. And he said, the guilt in that memory. is insane. Now, according to Paul, and this was his memory, and if he believes that it's true for him,

he had been carrying that guilt for more than 2,000 years from life to life to life. And that same guilt is following around in this lifetime. So what we've got to do is we're going to go beyond the rational today. We're going to understand how the unconscious mind works, and we're going to start to work with the unconscious mind. Now, he believed that was true for him. I can't prove that past lives exist. I can't. But I can't disprove that they don't exist. I can't. 33% of Americans believe that past lives exist. The majority of the religions here in the eastern world where I live claim that past lives exist. So I am open to the idea that they exist. Now, the fact that he dealt with the root cause of his guilt from 2,000 years ago, his life got better.

He got a job in sales. He sat at the bottom of 1,500 people in the organisation. Within a year, he was number three and had on-target earnings of around about $2 million. A guy who had no self-believe who had no confidence who dealt with the root cause of his guilt. And he moved forward. So emotional intelligence is having a willingness to explore new areas of your mind and body. Interesting. Could you relate that with communicating?

to an individual and illustrating that. Well, there's five pillars of emotional intelligence. The first one is self-awareness. Self-awareness is understanding why you think and feel the way that you do. And Paul had a self-discovery. I don't know if it's true, but if he believed it, it was true for him. Secondly, is self-regulation. Now, if you can't name it, you can't tame it.

He couldn't name the guilt until he did the regression, but now he can tame it. The third pillar of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is resiliency. However, what we have to do is we have to let go of the emotional traumas. The more we let go of the trauma, the more resilient we become, the more motivation we have. Now, this is where it gets interesting. What do you say? Let me go back to your quote.

How can you create a transformation in others if there's no transformation in yourself? Now, I heard one of your guests also say, you've got to learn to have good self-empathy. See, self-awareness is also self-empathy. Yes, it is. So once we understand ourselves, then we can move into social awareness. Social awareness is empathy for others. It's reading other people's emotional makeup. Paul understood what was holding him back. It was nothing to do with his ex-wife. It was nothing to do with his daughters, but he was able to heal. He could start to love them fully because he started to love himself. And then the fifth pill of emotional intelligence is

social regulation. This is the ability to communicate to others. Now, 99, percent of the problems you're going to have in your life come from communication problems. Paul started to communicate better because he started to understand emotional intelligence. So they're the five key pillars. You got to challenge you, 99% source, please. Brian Tracing. He's my mentor. He's got 70, he's written 71 books.

I've read all 71 books and I used to travel the world and train his programs. He's very well researched. He'll put a minimum of about two to three thousand hours into research before he delivers a program. He's read in excess of 8,000 books personally in this lifetime and written more than 71. So when I learned when I chose a mentor, I chose Brian Tracy. Now, Daniel, are you an intuitive individual? Like when you come into an interaction with someone, can you just kind of feel the energy

and how it's going to play out before it occurs? Have you heard of disk profiling? Have you heard of disk profiling? Maybe not that term, but I might understand where you're taking this. So disc profiling looks at our behaviors. And one of our behaviors is how we deal with policy and compliance. Now, I have got more than 5,500 of these case studies. And when I did a case study on myself, what it shows me and my profile is I'm intuitive.

So the answer is yes. However, how I acquire knowledge is not intuitively, it's intellectually. So although I operate intuitively, I collect my information intellectually. So yes and yes. Beautiful. To get to the next level where I was going to do. You're good. You're good. You know, the other interesting thing is we have an enneagram. There's nine different personality types. And my base style is an observer. So ever since I was young, my mum used to say, Daniel, you're a people watcher. So I love watching people. Me too.

So when I come into a coaching session, what I'm looking for at patterns of behaviours. And you can start to see the pattern. I was working with a person the other day. How's your childhood? Wonderful childhood. An hour later, total opposite. And so what happens is with my work, my job as a coach. and this is why most people don't succeed in therapy or coaching is the coach must create what's called

an unconditional positive regard. Now, this is a state in psychology that the therapist must create where there is no feeling of judgment. So when I work with my clients, there's no judgment. They open up and they start to have these Freudian slips. They start to tell me things that they've never told their wives, their husbands, their best friends. But it's my job to, create that safe space for them to express themselves. So as an observer, I'm always watching for patterns of human behavior. That's beautiful. Using the bio, psycho and social model. You know, one thing with the therapeutic system is think of your traditional psychologist, sitting over there with a clipboard with the glasses on, looking down at you over the tip of

their nose. You walk and you feel like you're being judged immediately. So a good psychologist, psychologist creates an open space for you where there is no judgment. There is no fear of ridicule or criticism. And one of the greatest fears for people is rejection and ridicule. So what we've got to do is change this space where people can freely speak about this. And I love what you're doing on your podcast and I've been listening to your episodes. It's a place for you to heal. And have you noticed that? No, none of your guests have said, hey man, you're fucked up. You screwed? Nobody says that. They're like, good. You, my man, talk it out.

Show the emotion. See, what we've got to do is we're going to bring the emotion to the surface. One of the functions of your unconscious mind, it stores your memories, but it also represses memories that you don't know how to handle. So if we've had traumas from a young age and we still don't have a coping mechanism in our 40s or 50s, what we do out of necessity is to repress it. And essentially we say, I can't deal with that. I'm going to hide it down there in that little dark corner of my unconscious mind and

I'm like keep it hidden there. Yes. And it comes up and it comes up and we push it back down. So the unconscious mind is there to serve and protect you. However, the other thing that the unconscious mind does, and this is the key, and all of us can quickly move on from our fears and our phobias and our traumas if we start to rationalize these emotions. The unconscious mind brings up to the surface these old memories for resolutions. And if we can bring it up and make it rational, the snap of the finger, we can start to move forward because we start to get the conscious, unconscious integration and the learnings that keep us safe.

When you say rational, now we're looking at it as what we can learn from it, rather than looking at it from this has happened to me, but what could I learn from the situation to share this experience? But again, I know internally, we use that as pattern recognition to prevent that from happening again, but what we could learn from that to share from our encounters. So for you to release a negative emotion, what you've got to be able to do is you've got to get the learnings, the learnings of how to protect yourself for your future. Now, what most people do is the wrong thing. When they bring up these emotions and these memories from the past, when they look at them and they try to rationalize them, they do three things.

They look at it as a negative event. They look at it as the past and they always point to other people. What we've got to do is to rationalize it. We have to do three things. We have to look for the positive learning. And so for you, even through abuse, at positive learning, you know how to protect yourself in the future. That's a positive learning.

You know how to make sure it never happens to you again. You know how to make sure it never happens to your family ever again. That's a positive learning. You know that you're a fucking survivor. That didn't kill me. Nothing else is going to kill me. You realize that you're a survivor, but you've got to stop and look at the positive learnings.

The second one is the learnings have to be about you as an individual and they also have to be for your future. Okay. If something like this happen again, how would I respond positively? And that's when I come back to what I said before is about enforcing the boundaries. Okay, these are the boundaries. I now know what they are to make sure it never happens again. And if you can look at it and rationalize it, then you can move on from it.

But we're going to remember four things. Four things that hold negative emotions in place, blame, justification, identification, and rationalization negatively. We've got to do it positively and we can move on. Beautiful. We got, I'm out. I got nothing else to follow up. Like right now, I'm just sitting here as an audience member just listening along and agreeing, like, yes, I agree with what you're saying. I don't know what the fuck he's saying, but it sounds like right.

I don't know, but I want to know. Sounds good, doesn't it? That's fantastic. Now, where can our audience learn more from you? And yes, I write a number of books. But best place to come, come and hang out on Facebook. I've got a group called Accelerate and Multiplying, and I share resources in there, and come and ask some questions. That's the best place to do it.

I'm running a training tomorrow, and I'm training doctors, lawyers and business people on the process of letting go of emotional, on negative emotions. And we use a process called timeline therapy. And timeline therapy enables us to let go of a negative emotion like anger in under eight minutes. In under eight minutes, imagine that. You've been holding on to this anger your entire life, yet we have a process that can help you let go of it in under eight minutes. I would challenge that. I would definitely have to challenge it. I would like to challenge it.

I would like to try it out. Yeah. I'll tell you what, you challenge me by letting it go in under eight minutes. It's quite fascinating. So I was a skeptic when I first heard that as I was like, ah, fucking bullshit. How's that possible? But it happens every single day of the week. The mind works as a process.

There's a process to let go of negative emotions. Psychologists, it's not their job to use these techniques. It's the job of a coach. And so what we have to do is we have to understand a couple of things about our mind. We've got to understand how we store memory. We're going to understand how we encode memories. We're going to understand how we release memories. And you can let go of a negative emotion in under eight minutes.

It happens for 80% of the population. I'll give you the source before you asked Dr. Tad James, he wrote the book called Timeline Therapy and the Basis of Personality. 12% of the population will take about 10 minutes. The other 2% will take 10 minutes. The other 2% will take their entire life. Interesting. Now when you're referring to those people, are you referring to those people, are you referring to the,

see, I would look at them as ADHD, kind of people that are very intuitive because of their history that everything they do, they're just aware, which is now why they can do things at a rapid pace versus other people. Well, these techniques were developed by incredibly successful people, people like Dr. Tad James, Dr. White Woodsmore, Dr. Richard Bandler. And what they did was they set with the world's top therapists and they looked at how they were helping people release emotions. And then they took the concept of releasing an emotion and put it into a process. So it's like baking a cake. There's a concept, hey, go and cook a cake.

Well, how the fuck do I do that? Follow the recipe. Well, what's the recipe? Show me. Once you've got a recipe, you can follow it. And it's like baking cake. Any idiot can bake a cake. I'd probably put a bit of weed in there, most of them. But you know what you've got to do. Not in your state, maybe in California. So what you've got to do is you've got to learn the recipe. And in under eight minutes, you can let it go. And so it happens fast, and it's because that's how the unconscious mind works. The unconscious mind works really, really fast. The unconscious mind is about 30,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind. And it has a totally different set of hardwired drivers. And the unconscious mind is what represses the memories. So once you learn to work

with the unconscious mind, you can rationalize those old memories really fast. minutes. Okay. So, but I want to make sure I'm working on my communication skills. I suck sometimes. Nope, I can't say that. That will make it go backwards. What I'm trying to, I was trying to illustrate for certain people that you said they can get it in eight minutes. Other people can get it in a lifetime. Now, who exactly are you referring to? The two percent? Yes. Who don't want to let it go? Ah, thank you. That's much better and understanding that. Okay, wonderful. Now, a lot of people don't want to let it go and they'll hold onto it for their whole life. And it's a real shame because all of our negative emotions rob us of the energy we need to achieve our goals.

That's no, I completely agree. Like, I'm not going to lie, like, this was a roller coaster of information. I mean, going from emotional to fucking intellectual back to just like a Wikipedia of, of just non-stop flow. Like, I love it. I got to, like, go, like, isolate myself and just reflect, like, what the fuck just happened? Like, that was, that was amazing.

Like, how much, how long have you been doing this just getting on and just preaching out? Because I know that, that takes, like, that's very, that that's learned, like, to be able to do that. When I grew up, I had learning disabilities. And so, for five years, I was in remedial therapy. So I couldn't read. I couldn't write properly. So I always had to fight to learn. And learning for me was harder. And I always thought I was limited. So when I was about 30, I kept failing exams. But you know why I failed it? Because every time I failed it, I got significance from it. So for example, I was working with Emirates Airline and I had to do these computer-based exams. And I remember always failing exams. So I would go into these exams. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to screw this up. And then you know what? The pass mark is 80. And I'd have to.

always get 79. But the interesting thing was every time I failed, I had to go and explain myself to my manager. And so my manager would come in and say, Daniel, what's happened? Well, you know, when I grew up, I had learning disabilities, blah, blah, blah. And every time the manager would say, Daniel, I believe in you. You can do it. You've got what it takes. And as soon as I heard those words, it was like, I love that. Somebody believes in me. And I'd go out and I'd get 100%. But it was all a form of self-sabotage and I caught myself out and I said to myself this is a horrible pattern. This is a success habit. This is a failure habit. And I was getting significance, but I had to create pain to get significance. And I woke up one day and I said to my wife, I said, that's it. I'm done. She's

what do you mean? I said, I'm changing my life. She said, what do you mean? I said, I'm going to give birth to myself. She said, you're bloody crazy. And I said, well, I can't blame my parents for giving birth to me and all these limitations. I've got to accept responsibility for my life. So at 30 I said, I'm going to accept responsibility and I stopped with the bullshit stories. And that was a big turning point for me. I had to make that decision to stop it. And then I just committed myself to doing this work. And I just studied and I'm obsessed.

My grandfather was obsessive-compulsive and I'm obsessive-compulsive. I read, I read, I read, I read, I read. I study, I study. I will stay up until 2 o'clock in the morning and my wife will say, you've got to go to bed. Three o'clock. She goes, you've got to go to bed. But I'm engrossed into what I do because I love it. It's my purpose.

So I've read more than a thousand books. Some of these programs and these books, I've read 10, 20, 30, 40 times because I want to master it. And I get to do it every day. So now for me, I feel that, yes, I'm getting better. I feel it's ingrained into me. I feel it's a part of me like my blood and my DNA. And now it just tends to roll off the tongue.

So I don't stop. I don't rely on that. I just keep studying. What I like that you actually didn't illustrate is the fact that, you actually didn't illustrate is the fact that what about when you're studying all night and then the next thing you know, you forget your own health. And then now your sympathetic other has to come in like, hey, Greg, you haven't slept in fucking five days.

Yes, you have just learned all this. But will you remember because you haven't slept? I don't know. Like, that's the key thing right there is we have to make sure that we're taking account in these things that will help us be successful, even though we cultivated this obsession to grow to learn and to you're going to blow your mind again? I don't know.

Like I have ADD and it's freaking me out because I have to analyze everything you're saying and internalize it like, okay, I'm connecting the dots. I know what he's saying. I got this. I'm memorizing everything he's saying so I come back and it's like, holy fuck, there's more. Let me blow your mind like you've been blowing out that vibe. Let me do that. You jealous?

Interesting. I used to smoke Shisha when I was in Dubai. Yes. On the big hooker pipes. There you go. You know, the thing with learning, and this is what really changed my life, and I teach my students this in one of my NLP trainings, is that all learning is state dependent. So the emotional state that you're in when you learn has to be the equivalent when you

recall. Yes. So imagine this. imagine you've got this fear of failure and you learn with a fear of failure. So all the knowledge that comes in is tied up to the emotional fear of failure. And then you go into an exam and you go, oh, fuck, I don't want to fail this. And all of this information comes out. So what happens with students, they go, they crash study at the last minute and they have a fear of failure.

They go into the exam and they recall everything in a fear of failure and they go, holy shit, that works. Wait, no, I don't agree. I do not. You found you right here on your transformation station. The guy who's internalizing everything that he does. Okay, so me, I work fantastic under fucking pressure. But when it comes to no pressure, I freak myself out completely. And it just, I fail before it even happens.

I don't know how that happens, but it just happens. See, there are two different emotional states. Please enlighten us. Both. Your pressure. Now, you know, I don't know. know, which emotion specifically is for you. But there's a state of pressure and there's a state of no pressure. And so what you'll find is that for you, and if we take it into a different

direction, is that you're probably more away from motivated. Daniel will tell me what not to do and I'll fucking prove you wrong. The pressure's on. Yes, that's very true. That makes sense? Yes. 100%. So when somebody says, you'll never be able to do this. You'll say, I'll fucking show you. Then I accomplish it 100%. Exactly. And so that's a form of motivation. So when that pressure is you'll succeed. When the pressure's on, you'll be able to recall all the information. But if there's no pressure on and you try to learn something, you might be able to learn it correctly. Because when you want to recall it, your emotional state will be different. So what we like to do is we like to learn in a relaxed state. So for me, for example, I come into my office, I get into my what's called a learning

state and I activate that in my mind. And then I start to consume the knowledge. Now, when you're in this state called the learning state, it opens up your sensory input channels and it allows more information to flow in. So we are exposed to more than 2 million bits of information per second. The unconscious mind processes it, then we can only hold on to about 134 bits of that information per second. Challenge. Once you start to cyber psychonetics, Dr. James White was small and psychosyberetics. Now, why the people will say 10 million, but I say 2 million. So the information, comes in and when it's stored, it's stored in conjunction with that same emotional state. So when I come onto a podcast, when I go into a presentation, I get back into that equivalent

emotional state and I have better access to those memories and I can recall it. It's not a problem with memory. You remember everything. Everything you've seen, heard, smell, tasted thought you remember. Forgetting is not a problem. Recollection is the problem. people can't recall. And that's where it's learning is state dependent. So if you learn in the same state and then you get back into that same equivalent emotional state when you're ready to

recall, you can access those memories easier. Beautiful. I'm ending the interview now because it would just be going on and going on. I can see it. It's fantastic. We definitely need to do another one because I would love to just continue. Yes, this is fantastic. Daniel, thank you. so much for coming on your Transformation Station. You did mention how our audience, yes, they can get in touch with you. Is there any last words? Let's not, nothing too long here. Any last words you can leave our audience with before I let you go. Anxiety is a warning sign from your unconscious mind that you're focusing on the wrong things. So what you've got to do, you've got to learn to focus on what you want. You've been listening to your transformation station, your

voice on the hard truths of leadership. We hope you've enjoyed the show. We hope you've gotten some useful and practical information. Make sure to like, rate, and review the show. Remember, your transformation station is on all major platforms, including Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube at YTS The Podcast, and visit the website at YTSThepodcast.com. Till next time. Family.

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