Your Transformation Station - 92. The Talk Table Podcast

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

Around the Table talk podcasts, on (Sharifah Hardies) show Join Greg this week, what a ride it was being part of a "panel style" podcast, with the Ask Sharifah guests. There's a clear distinction of opinions offered on her show, and Greg is no different. His thoughts on how to move past detrimental situations, evokes quite the responses.PODCAST INFO: Podcast website: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/apple⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/spotify⁠⁠ RSS: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/rss⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/youtube⁠⁠ SUPPORT & CONNECT: - Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/facebook⁠⁠ - Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/instagram⁠⁠ - TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/tiktok⁠⁠ - Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/x⁠⁠ - Pinterest: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/pinterest⁠⁠ - Linkedin: ⁠⁠https://www.ytsthepodcast.com/linkedin⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I just want to thank everybody for the great conversation today. I really enjoyed being invited on. As far as transformation, take a look at yourself. And if there's something you don't like, address it. Don't take the quick fix out. Go back to really what hurts and purge it. It's going to take as long as it needs to heal. This is your transformation station.

And now your host, Greg. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your transformation station. This is your host right here, Greg Favaza. Welcome you back for a special episode today, here right now, with your one and only. This episode is where I appear on the roundtable on February 3rd. I join in as a guest and we get heated. We get excited. Lots of tobacco goes down and you're in for a treat today with me and the rest of the gang.

So sit back, get ready for an exciting episode. But wait, before I get this bad boy rolling, I'd like to talk about donations. Your Transformation Station needs your help. And we would appreciate a donation. You can help us out at PayPal.com slash follow Favaza and as well as buy me a coffee.com slash Fava P like Fava Bean, but only Fava P. B Favap. A P. And from there, you can sign up to be a subscriber to learn about interesting content that we are putting together.

we will be implementing a monthly subscription tier where you can get extra perks that you wish you would have known a long time ago. I'm excited. I know you guys will be excited once we get this lifted off here. But in the meantime, after you make a donation, sit back and enjoy today's episode. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Happy birthday. I just can hear anybody. Yes, we are tuning into the Roundtable Talk Show. I am your host,

Cheriefer Hardy, and we have a very special show for you today. I'm going to introduce you to some wonderful people. We're going to laugh. We're going to learn. We're going to share some information. We're going to ask questions. We're going to get some advice and some guidance from them. But I'm pretty sure there's someone in your network, someone in your neighborhood, maybe a spouse, a child, a coworker. a boss. I don't know. Maybe it's the man across the street. Maybe he's a new entrepreneur, but he won't have this information unless you go ahead and share the show with them, because as I always say, friends don't let friends miss out on the Roundtable Talk show. So while you're introducing

your friends to the show, I'm going to do my job and introduce our first guest, Mr. Mike L. Murphy. During the 15 years, Mike Murphy spent in Hollywood animation working on films that include Harry Potter, Iron Man, and Lord of the Rings. He's famous for his work on Gala. He created an online business mentoring filmmakers. Since then, Mike's coached hundreds of entrepreneurs who are passionate about selling their expertise online using his proven visionary planner eight-step process. Good morning, Mike.

How are you? I'm good. Thanks for having me, Sheree. Absolutely. I want to learn about this proven process. So tell us a little bit about yourself, who you are. What you do then, what you're passionate about. Okay, well, I got started in Hollywood when I was 21,

and I was very fortunate in my 15 years to learn about Hollywood storytelling and project management. And by the end of my career, I was supervising and directing commercials and movies. And around that time, I was asked to mentor students. So I was flying around the world, which sounds really sexy, like, oh, I flew around the world three times, but it's a lot of old del rooms and not that exciting. So I wanted to find a way to automate my expertise, and I ended up making an online training academy. And the success of that, within six months of launching, I was able to get paid double than I was getting paid in Hollywood on these really big movies. And after that time, everybody started, all these entrepreneurs started asking me like, hey, can you help me out?

And that process of walking people through the stages of starting with a concept all the way to having a complete, robust business with the marketing funnels and everything, has developed into my eight-step process, which you can check out at the visionary planter.com. We're going to learn more about it, Mike. I'll come back to you. I want to go ahead and introduce our next guest, Mr. Derek Roe. Derek is a high performance and mindset coach, specializing in leading business owners to break through any bullshit limits holding them back from their true wealth.

And he's in Malta all the way across the world. Good morning, Derek. you? Good morning. Good afternoon from Malta and listen I really appreciate you having me on. So that was a lovely introduction. So I suppose with me, yeah, listen, I'm the noble chick I, basically. I've three businesses. I own a gym in Ireland. I've a mastermind that I do with another guy for business owners. And what I love is exactly what I'm going to talk a little bit about here, which is really helping people cultivate the right mindset. And we all hear about mindset and this and that. But when you're actually, there's a lot of business owners that have a lot of things in their way.

And I come in basically, you know, we do a lot of NLP within my coaching to dissolve all patterns. And you have to understand when your brain is like a machine that's systemized, all belief patterns. And when we're able to remove them, opens up a lot of possibility and opportunity for clients. So, you know, when I say high performance, it's included in the mindsets, including in physically performing at your best from my experience in the gym, in the gym business. and when you bring the two of those together, really it is a total transformation for the client to both body and mind. And then you sprinkle in a bit of business strategy into that

and really the sky is the limit. And I have on my tagline, it's losers talk, legends walk. And you know, I have to lead by example as number one. When somebody leads by example without even having a talk, people will follow and it's about being, and it's been in alignment with who you are, being in alignment with your goals.

and therefore, you know, anybody can attain success over time. And if you want to know a bit more about me, just and reach out to me on Facebook, on Instagram, or you can go visit my website, which is www.derickrode.com. Thank you. Thank you, Derek. That's a lot of information.

I know we're going to learn a lot on today's show, but I'm going to come back to you. I want to go ahead and introduce our next guest, the lovely Miss Sparks. She's a celebrity nail tech, also the owner of Spark's styling studio, a luxury one-stop shop for ladies, also providing mobile services for luxury

in the comfort of your own space. Good morning. Sparks, how are you? Good morning. I'm fine. How are you? I am fine. Thank you for sharing.

Yes. No, I was just asking how you were, but you pretty much summed up everything. Well, the main focus in my career is being a nail tag. But I would consider myself, artists all in on. I do have multiple businesses as well, but they all revolve around me being creative. I do, sometimes I'll do, why did I just freeze up? Sometimes I'll do decorating, like interior decor for birthday parties and different events that people book me for. My main thing, like I said,

is being a nail technician, but I also sell hair, I sell lashes, I sell clothes. I do whatever I can basically to make people feel good, make them feel special, and be able to enjoy themselves a little bit more. Wonderful. We're going to learn more about you. Okay? No need to freeze. We're going to be good.

I was expecting Candace to be next and then her camera just went away. I was like, you see it threw me off a little bit too because I'm trying to talk to you. And I'm like, where can't this go? It's hard. It's a lot. This is a, that's why it's unedited. This is real life. This is the way real life after.

The show must go on. Absolutely. That's what I believe. Now, we're going to go over here. We're going to talk to Mr. Gregory. We're going to see if Gregory is ready for us. How are you, Gregory? I'm doing all right.

Can you hear me? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Gregory, your transformation station is redefining a new standard of leadership, bringing clarity to culture and organizations and extracting actionable advice from thought leaders of business, education and social sciences. Good morning. How are you? I'm doing all right. Yes, that is my podcast,

your transformation station. We're focusing on the millennial population. We want a new form of leadership in today's organizations. And I believe we can address that and accomplish it by looking at the culture, who's in charge, and how they are affecting us down from top, down to bottom up. The mentality that's being utilized today is an old school gentleman club's mentality and we don't need that shit anymore. We need authenticity, real

authenticity. From the heart conversations and you can only get that through conversations that I have on my show, your transformation station and you can check it out, follow the podcast, that any platform or choice

you know where to find me. I love it. I love it. I love I am going to come back to you, Gregory. I just want to go ahead and introduce our next guest. We're going to introduce our next guest, the lovely Ms. Candice. Candice is going to talk to us about what she is passionate about. She is a trauma, healing, and manifesto.

She specializes in healthy individuals heal from limiting beliefs so they can manifest the life they've always dreamed of. He's also the leader of. of neurocognitive reprogramming. Candice, how are you? Hi, sorry about my iPhone overheated. This is what we do. The show must go on.

I'm like, I got to grab something. I grabbed my husband's laptop. I'm like, let's go, let's do this. He was probably working on. He has to say it. Yes. Later. Talk to us, Candace.

Anyway, thank you for having me. Like you said, I am a trauma healing coach. I help people manifest their best life. Been doing this for a few years now. And people come to me when they're struggling, they're fed up with their life, not progressing. They're saying, I need help. I can't get past where I'm at in my mind. And I help people reprogram old beliefs, old trauma. You know, everything starts from when we're little. So we go back in time. We revise it. We heal it. I teach a law of assumption, which is a little different than law of attraction. But I love it.

It's so rewarding. It is absolutely my calling. And I'm really happy to be here speaking with everyone. So thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Nice to meet you. So I just want to go ahead and ask him this. Can I have that effortless manifesting on the back of your wall?

Yeah, exactly. Isn't that cool? I need it. I need one like that. So next time we go get one, make two, because Shariaefer Hardy need one. You know, I made it on Amazon. There's like a company that you can put any, anything you want.

And I think I paid like $40 for it. Okay, but you didn't, let's get back to you. I didn't get one. I need an updated anyway, so it has to be updated. So as soon as I updated, I'll send you. Thank you. You get me. You got it so much.

You love it and you keep the new one. Yeah. Oh, that's true. You're like, that's the one that caught your eyes. So she's getting rid of it anyway. Might as well give it away. Recycle. The same world.

Politician sparks, because you saved that one. You saved that. Yeah, Reschanda says, awesome, I need to talk to Candice. She says she's a backdrop. So, Rashonda, since you're listening, you're tuning in, what would you like to ask, Candice? She's here to take your questions. And M. Woods said, I need one, too.

So I think you're going to need about three. Maybe this is a new business for you, Kim. That's true. I have a question for Candace. Can you explain the law of assumption? That sounds pretty cool. Thank you for asking. So law of attraction, I learned about law of attraction when I was 15.

And I loved it. I was like, this is amazing. I can create things. I can think about it and have it come about. But the only problem for me was law of attraction limited me and I could only get so far with it because I didn't understand that I was truly creating everything. in my reality. So when I learned about law of assumption, I said, wow, I fully understand why everything has happened the way it has in my life. And now I have full control of my reality.

So law of assumption states anything that you assume, think, believe long enough, hardens into fact. Everything in life is a reflection of your unconscious or your conscious assumptions. So as the creator of your reality, I learned all of this from Neville Goddard. He's the father of the law of assumption and all of the big coaches you hear about now, Wayne Dyer, Luis Hay, Tony Robbins, like all the big guys, they've all studied Neville. And they've taken their own thing from it. But basically, your whole universe is created from your assumptions. So you take one person in your reality and you put them in a room with 10 people and you say, who's John?

Well, 10 people are going to tell you who John is, and you're going to probably get 10 different answers. One shows up for all of these people differently based on their assumption of them. It's why you can say, oh, I hate John. Oh, John's amazing to me. What are you talking about? You know, so based on your unconscious beliefs and assumptions about people, they change, they shift.

And so you're able to transform your reality by changing your assumptions. I see it reflect. in your universe, in your world, in the people around you. And I've been able to do that in my life and heal years of trauma and pain and being in an abusive marriage before I learned about law of assumption and now able to forgive him. And we're good co-parents. We're not married, don't worry. But, you know, we're really good co-parents now that before that would never have been possible had I not understood how to heal my limiting beliefs and my assumptions and such. Can you try asking something?

When do they actually change these different beliefs of ourselves? When do they occur? Is it at random or is it during a certain situation that would be considered mental triggers? So generally, if I'm working with a client, we do this method of reprogramming that I developed based off of Neville Goddard's technique called revision. So we'll go back into the memory. will change the old story and see it differently. And the brain, the subconscious mind only knows what you tell it. And trauma is stored in your memories.

So if you revise your memories, your subconscious says, oh, wait, so that's how it happened. Okay. And that trauma and those beliefs, they go away. And what's implanted is the new belief, the new concept of the people in your life, your parents, whoever were revising. And the new beliefs are immediately present in your life. you see immediate relief and immediate change, which is why people come to me because I can provide immediate relief.

And I've worked with people who've been in therapy for 25 years. I've even worked with therapists themselves who have struggled. And after one session, they're saying, holy cow, I feel so different. So you're looking at it as like you having them look at it as a neutral perspective or kind of replaying and reframing it to an alternative perspective? It's a new perspective. So let's say mom or dad left you. Our dad was abusive and he left. We go back in time and we see what your little version of you saw.

We have you observe that memory. And then we go in and we change it and we change the idea that dad actually never left. Dad was always there for me. Dad never abandoned me. And so you're changing what the brain knows because the unconscious mind is just a program. It only knows what you tell it. So it doesn't have, it doesn't know right from wrong or, you know, it just knows what you tell it. So even if the past was super traumatic, it's more healing to be like, you know, this guy was a jerk to me, whatever.

But I'm going to remember Santa Claus. Yeah, like we're treating ourselves or? 100%. Yep. You are lying to yourself, but your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference. It doesn't know the difference. What about actually just coming and terms with it and just talking it? out. Like for me on my show, I'll just embrace it. I mean, I was sexually abused as a kid.

I'll bring that up and I'll we all have these experiences, whether we want to admit it or not or just not admitting it right now. Yeah. We've all experiencing some form of trauma and that is holding us back. And I feel like if we just really come to terms by saying it out loud and accepting it, like this is me and I'm okay with it. And moving forward, you can be. a leader in somebody else's life. Well, yeah, you can absolutely use. That was very vulnerable. I want to give you all that.

Yeah, thank you for sure. I'm ready. Back to you, Ken. I love that you said that because I do think it is, it's important that you can use your story to help others. I've used my story to help my clients and others in my life. And, you know, speaking about it, talking about it, yeah, a lot of times people say, okay, I feel better consciously, but I'm still seeing all of

these triggers. These triggers are still coming at me all the time. And that is because the unconscious mind doesn't know that that story is okay. Your conscious mind, you're like, I forgave that person. I've moved on. I've made peace with it. But your unconscious mind hasn't. Your unconscious mind still knows the memory.

So for people, I've worked with a lot of people with sexual trauma. They come to me and we revise the story. We can completely revise that person was never in your life. Then the brain says, I can let go of the pain behind this. And I no longer need to see this trigger in my life telling me, go change the story, heal the story from an unconscious, from the subconscious state, so that it doesn't keep popping up. I look at triggers as the check engine light in your car. The check engine light keeps coming on. You clear the code, right?

You're not actually changing the O2 sensor or whatever it needs to be changed. You're just clearing the code, clearing the code, and then the trigger keeps coming up in different forms. but when you actually replace the thing and heal the thing, it doesn't pop up in your life anymore. What's interesting to me is that it seems to me that you create an alternate reality. You know, you've rewritten history so that what occurred didn't necessarily occur. What's interesting about that is when you talk about the laws, and I remember, like you said, a few years ago, actually it's probably like,

what, 10 to 15 years ago, everybody was into the law of attraction. And I never really got into the law of attraction. attraction because I've always been naturally good at sales. And I'll give you an example. One job I went to work for, they hired me just doing reservations. And their reservation sales quota was $150,000 per month. Their top agents were selling $350,000 per month. I was selling half a million dollars per month to where they came to me and they said, Shafa, we want you to go in training. We want you to train people and to teach people how to sell like you do. And I told them, I said, well, I don't really do everything by the book.

And they told me, it was like, we don't care which book. Teach people how to do what you do. And so I sat with a lot of the ages for a long time. And I came back and I said the conclusion, to my conclusion is that most people just don't want to do the work. They don't take all. So my favorite law is the law of averages. You know, at that time, I was taking over 100 calls a day. And the lower people were taking like three calls a day.

Like, if you take more calls, you will get more sales. You have different experiences and different laws. And Derek, you haven't even blinked. So I love to hear from you. Yeah, well, listen, I am intrigued by this conversation. I'm intrigued by Candace and what Gregory asked her, because I've had a life of trauma. I was a drug dealer for most of my life.

I spent a lot of time locked up. There was a lot of debt, a lot of debt in my life, but from a childhood and it's your environment. And I'm really interesting because there's different ways to skin a cat. And what Candace said and what Gregory said, right, I would have been sent to counsellors, probation officers and talk to true.

Now, talking does help, but we do have to, on the other hand, we do have to, because a lot of my work is better. listen, when I say high performance, it is about performing at your absolute best mentally. Now, question I'd ask, who doesn't want to be their absolute best? But if you have trauma, you've got like limiting beliefs like Candace was saying, we've got to have a way to go into the unconscious and especially the subconscious and reprogram that. And for me, I call it, as I said at the start, it's dissolving these patterns. And it's similar work, it's just slightly different.

And that's why I said there's different ways to skin a cat. Talking is great, but what your brain needs is something. different. And I like when you said, you know, your brain doesn't know fact from fiction because that's a reticular activation system. Now, it would be part of my work, but we've got to be able to go in. I play it out differently for clients.

We actually play out the scene. Now, it could be on eating this and it could be trauma, whatever you want to get rid of. We play the whole movie out. We rewind and we sort of mess it up. And then what happens? That pattern, the brain needs contrast. So just imagine, right, this

here, have this, right? So you turn the TV, your brain needs contrast. If you keep eating it with the same stick, that's what you get more of. And when you give it something different, it has to drop that program. So therefore, you're able to move forward with whatever goal you have in place, whatever your desire is.

And now that's a different approach than what Candace, but it's a similar approach. I'm all for what you said. And Gregory, I do agree to an extent with what you said, but I would have had, and you can come back to me with this, I would have had years of talking, years ago, to councillors, years ago, out of doctors, probation offers,

I was being in prison, it didn't really get me to the next level. What on me to the next level is when I could go in and actually break down these programs and patterns because, again, think of your brain like a machine, we're systemised, and again, someone said it, it goes back to childhood. We all have these beliefs, the environment we were brought up in,

what we believe in, where a lot of it is bullshit. So when we're able to, we get to an adulthood and we're going, Jesus Christ, Like for me, you know, my career choice was a drug dealer. Why did I pick this through? I picked this truth. I picked this route is because of what I seen when I was younger. I thought it was glamour.

But it was only a bad belief. And we have to have a way to be able to go in and to drop it. Because otherwise, as Candice said, triggers just keep happening. Like for me and I'll give an example, I used to take a lot of cocaine. So I could give up cocaine for a month. But then I go, do know what, Derek, you're a good boy, go out and take it. I'm back on it for the next year. Through the triggers, we have to be able to just eliminate really from our lives.

No. Yeah. Yeah. So, Derek, I think that's fantastic what you brought up. And I'm glad you were able to weigh out the pros and cons for each side. But I'm going to just stand up for me for a little bit. It definitely takes a lot of self-reflection. That's what it allowed me to get through all the shit.

Like, there's a lot more than I just shared. That's only a sliver. but self-reflection is key being able to be silent, reflect, journal it out, and then just interact with people on giving away a little bit to see how people react to you. Because when we look back, we're rationalizing with their adult mindset. So we think that that shouldn't have happened. Why did this happen? And you're creating more anxiety when you're looking back.

But at that age that it occurred, it shouldn't have happened in the first place, and you are not to blame. they are. Yeah, Gregory. And I liked what you said there about the journal and I am all for that. And again, you know, you've, you've came in with another really good point there because Joe, for journaling is another way to really get the shroud out of your head. So all it is, I think this conversation is brilliant from one because we've different points of views and I think it's fantastic. And even for the listeners, they can go, do you know what, that's a little golden nugget there. So definitely get what you're saying, get what Candace is saying. And I've thrown in, do you know a few points of how I do or work so I think for somebody who is wanting to

overcome trauma I think they can take a bit from all of us all today yes absolutely I want to hear from Mike well it sounds like I'm so my daughter is outside the room that's screaming I'm gonna hear but it sounds like for for all you guys the the the only thing that really starts the domino's rolling is that person recognizing that something's not right because a lot of people are like, no, everything's great, everything's great. But coming to the conclusion, like, I need to change my life.

So the will to make the change, I think is probably the first step. Would you guys agree? Yeah. Yeah. Like, if you don't, you know, decide and make that choice, because we all have a choice at the end of the day, you know, we can play, right.

Shit happens, you know, as we've talked about. Now, we can play, okay, we can play a victim to our circumstances, to our past, or we can make a decision to move forward. It's always going to come down to right. Am I going to be the bigger man or woman here and make the right decision for my life? Because again, all of us here are leaders.

We must lead by example for others to follow it. So that for me would be less talking a lot of the time and going, right. For instance, you go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to do my thing, whatever that may be. And that's making a good decision so others can follow that.

What will be the actual time to make that decision? When do you start to recognize? that. When is that pivotal moment that you said, I am not myself. Like anybody, throw out some examples. I think like something happens. So my background is movies and storytelling. And you'll have, you'll have the ordinary world where a character is just going about their business. And they usually have a flaw, whether it's something that happened to them or it's kind of a self-induced flaw. But then some event happens, some outside event happens that forces that character to to recognize I have a problem.

And often they're reluctant. But something, by the end of the, you know, if it's a two-hour movie, by the end of 30 minutes, by the end of Act 1, that character has to go off and seek out this catalysts of change or things are going to just get exponentially worse for them. So for everybody in their life that had, you know, I wish, I don't know anyone that's like everything's been perfect in their child that everybody has.

We don't tell you with Spark. Sparks has a perfect life, perfect. perfect child. No, my life, my life was not perfect. My childhood was not perfect. It was not easy for us. But I agree a little more with Gregory in the sense that I feel like you have to be realistic with yourself. You have to accept the things that happen to you in your past. One of my main things that motivates me into pushing myself to become more successful or to achieve different goals that I said for myself is the past life that I came from. I'm motivated.

You know, like the things I've seen and with things not being so perfect, I don't want to have to have that in future life, nor do I want to have a life like that for my children. So I feel like you have to be honest with yourself in order to assess the facts, and that's not to dwell on them or to be sad about it. I don't even think you necessarily have to talk to people to. you know, like express that, but as long as you can break down the events in your head, like Derek was saying, you do have to go through and evaluate situations. I'm not comfortable with the idea of necessarily, like,

deceiving myself to believe in something else happened when I know what happened. But I do try to look at it differently, like, okay, well, I might have felt like, okay, so-and-so left me at this point, but I became a stronger person at that point when they left me. I grew my independence. You know what I'm saying? Or I grew in this area or I learned how to do this. Like I take every lesson or everything, any trauma that I do have is not a bad thing for me. It's a lesson learned, actually.

I think it's what makes me stronger. And I don't want to get rid of that. I hear you. I hear you. This is an interesting conversation. I love the different viewpoints. And one of the things I always talk about is I do not select the dates. The guests appear.

And like I was saying previously, before we got on the show, everything happens in divine perfect timing. So the guests we have on today's show are the ones who are meant to be here. And they have different views, but it makes for an amazing conversation. We are going to continue the conversation, but right now we do have to stop for a brief commercial break. And we will be right back. To transformation in others, if there's no transformation in yourself, join your host, Greg Pavaza, as your voice on the hard truths of leadership, your transformation station connecting clarity to the cutting edge of leadership.

As millennials, we can establish change, not only ourselves, but through organizational change, bringing transparency that goes beyond the organization and reflects back into ourselves. Extracting, actionable advice, and alternative perspectives. that will take you outside of yourself. Wow, I love it. Definitely. I have to find out this Gregory guy and tune in to the Transformation Station.

If you are just now tuning in to the Roundtable Talk show, you have missed so much and you definitely want to watch this show from the beginning in the archives. But I want to go over to you, Candice, because we've had a lot of conversation basically since your initial thoughts.

And I just want to know what your thoughts are now. So I want to kind of clear up what it means to practice revision and reprogramming because your brain doesn't forget the event per se, but it forgets the pain behind it. That is why I feel like it's so important to do revision. And Derek, it sounds like you pretty much practice that in your own way, telling the brain a different story. And I don't, I haven't forgotten anything that's happened to me. And I actually use what has happened to me as my medicine. message as my story. But the difference is that that pain that I used to feel that caused relationships to fail, that caused, you know, me to always be questioning myself to have all

of this anxiety and depression, that is removed from my life by changing the events. Because when you change the events, you're changing how you view the person involved in your life, like if it was my parent or my dad who wasn't around. And, you know, my mom having her own issues or whatever. So I'm not necessarily feeling that anger or that unconscious resentment anymore, but I still know that this is what happened. And it frees up all of this space in my mind to just look at them with love. And I believe at our core construct, we are all love. The universe is love. So if you can look at everything with love and say, I understand that even though this happened to me, I can't look at. at it with anger and hate and resentment because it's not serving me. It's not healing my life.

But I can look at it and say, you know what? At the time, I was a dang victim to my circumstance. I was a victim. But as now a conscious creator, I don't have to be a victim anymore. I can say that was my old story. But look where I've come. Look at how far I've risen above my circumstance. So you don't forget it. You still know it. And you use it as your platform and your message. but the pain, the suffering that you were feeling is no longer crippling your mind and making you feel like I can't even get up every day. Candace, I want to say I agree to disagree. I feel like that pain that we've all experienced at that time that occurred, yes, it was

extremely painful. It still, I believe, it still stays with us, but it adapts. It adapts to the person that we are. And that's why when we are experiencing this anxiety, when we're freezing up when we get in front of the mic, when we feel like we don't recognize ourselves in the mirror because we had to dissociate so many times to figure out, is this me or is this somebody else?

I mean, have you been inside the car where you're driving and 30 minutes goes by and you'll remember the first five minutes of getting in the vehicle? What's interesting is I'm more like Derek, I think. I can see Candace's point of view and then I can see Gregory's, even though there's more leaning towards not to judge, but kind of like leaning towards Gregory. But I think part of, this is just me, no offense to anyone, Candice, I think part of it is the examples that we're seeing.

Because one of the things that I've learned, and I can give you an example of what I believe you're saying, is like people who have abandonment issues, right? When the dad, it's not always the dad, but the dad leaves the mom because they couldn't get along. And that child, what that child believes or what they grow up with is that dad left me, right? So all that life, they grow up with this belief and they have abandonment issues and something in them tells themselves that they're unlovable because if my dad or it could be the mom, if mom couldn't love me and mom didn't want to stay with me, then no one can love me. Sometimes you go back to that moment and you understand and tell yourself a different story, which is actually, you know, in this situation might be more of a truer story that dad didn't leave. me. He didn't lead because I spilled Cheerios on the floor. He left because

he no longer liked mob spaghetti, you know? So I want to hear from Mike. I know I spoke to Candice, but I just want to hear from Mike, because Mike, when I was speaking, you were nodding. No, I mean, it's interesting that we kind of have different thoughts on

this, and I always like to kind of like bring it together and it goes back to what I said before. I think the catalyst of all this is recognizing that no one's perfect and something happened to you. And you want to go off and solve that, fix that problem. And it's interesting because there's so many different ways to do it. So it sounds like you have to really find somebody who you resonate with.

And whether it's a therapist or it's a coach. And just be committed to that. And not, I think it's human nature to say, you know, it's like a New Year's resolution. I want to lose weight and you try it for a couple weeks and then life gets in the way and you fall off in the next year. You know, so you have to really have that. The stakes have to be high enough so that you're going to stick to that resolution, whether it's losing weight or in this case like really dealing with this trauma that happened to you. Yeah. Yeah.

I said something at the other day in a post and I said your vision has to be far stronger than the temptation in front of. of you. Now, this comes back to what we're saying here, right? Shit happens. Obviously, we all have our life experiences. And like, there is two roads. We're either going to let us, I suppose, its identity at the end of the day, are we going to live in that past mode? Are we going to take the next step? And like we are, you know, the creator, the designers of our own life. But we must have, you know, strong enough, I would call them a strong enough well-formed outcome. It's an NLP saying,

really. But, you know, if your outcome, you know, there's a lot of There was a lot of temptations, as I've told a bit about my life story, and I kept just falling back in. It was all habits. It was all triggers. It was all programs. And I don't really go in and you actually do, Delvin. And, like, you know, it's all that's all fair points. I think what everybody has said, we can take all the nuggets from them all. And it's not, not everything I say is going to work for everybody. Not everything Candice, Gregor, and all the rest of the guys, Mike is going to work for everybody. but when we can, you know, bringing it into maybe a holistic approach, it does work. But we have to have, you know, to create a strong mindset is by doing, is by taking the actions,

is by falling, is by failing. And like, your vision isn't here and you're not looking up and it's not giving you confidence or motivation. You're just going to continue reverting back to square one. That's, this is a part of the coach and I do, a part of the work idea where, you know, we have to cultivate a different program to cultivate a different way of thinking. We must do. It must be action. We can't think about it. Yeah, you can't. Read about riding a bike. You've got to get on the damn bike. Hey, Derek. Can I ask you? So with you, you're experiencing, like, you're falling back on the same issue.

So is this a duality issue? Or do you, like, get manic every fucking Thursday? Can you tell me more about that and how we recognized it and how you're combating it and recognizing when that other part comes back? Yeah, well, I suppose we'll put that. into the past because I no longer will call it self-sabotage and you know like your own trauma I would have had plenty of trauma I grew up in a very violent household and alcoholic households you know I was a sort of nearly monkey seen monkey down this is why I got into the whole drug scene but up till two and a half years ago when I met you know I had a couple of successful business built but I was still you know you talked a bit about anxiety and you see anxiety and stuff is really it's a feeling and you know if you think about like this for a

I'd say if somebody will say somebody has a feeling, a negative feeling. Now, if they continue to think of that feeling, what's going to happen? You know, they're going to get a bit more of that. And I just invite a lot of people to think differently. But to answer your question, it took me a lot of, a lot of work. A lot of similar work to Candice, really. It's what I promote and it's what I live my life by. It's a lot to do with language.

It's a lot to do with picture sounds because these are human senses. And we're not forgetting. And I don't forget what happened or the actions I took to quite shitty to life I was living. And I led people down there. I don't forget that. But, you know, are we going to, like, remain living there? Are we going to, like, it's creating a better presence? So tomorrow, then their future is a better day.

So for me, it took years of trial and error. It took years of testing. And again, this is another, you know, we have to test. And then, oh, shit, okay, we review. It doesn't work. We keep testing. And then what I would call we're in operation mode is where, I'm at now where I just set

myself daily non-negotiable habits that'll be doing my it'll be okay fulfilling my son's needs, fulfilling my needs, fulfilling my nutrition, fulfilling my gym, fulfilling my clients. This builds a lot more clarity, consistency into my life. So I have, that's my

plan, that's how I deal with it right? Now, someone else, it's completely different, but to answer your question, I have to have a certain plan in place on a daily basis which are just non-negotiable daily habits. that if I do, I can look back on my day and go, do you know what, Eric, you did well.

Now you are leading to my example. That's your normal self, though, because we're all cultivating this identity that we want to strive for, okay? That's great. Are we focusing on our strengths, or we capitalizing our weaknesses and trying to adapt?

I mean, the way I see it is, I've accepted these things, and the people that caused harm, I removed them from my life. And I just capitalize, I want to be me. So if I want to cost my fucking podcast, that's what I do. If I want to go work out of the gym four hours a day, that's what I do.

That's what we need to focus on. Yeah, 100%. But again, we're all, it's different needs. You're different than me. You know, we're all humans. So we're going to do things in different way. We're going to excel in different ways. So again, you know, we're all here having a great discussion.

And some points we'll agree with and some points we just won't. But I know what mine are, and it seems to Gregory, you know exactly what you need to do. And the rest of the guys know what they need to do to be to reach their goals and whatever that is. Because we're all having different. You know, people talk about, I'll reaching your potential and all. Like, I have a question. Would we ever reach your potential? Like, for me, right?

Just say we start here. Okay, if I do better today, my reference point is there and it keeps going up. But the point of living is to keep trying to reach for your potentialism. It grow, yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. Sparks.

What's interesting to me is everybody else has these different philosophies, but in the middle of it, right there, you are making everybody feel better on the outside, bringing their beauty out, bringing their hair out, bringing their eyelashes, wonderful smile. So what are your thoughts on the conversation? What I'm hearing from this conversation is basically that there are different strokes for different folks. There is no right or wrong way to go about living. your life or healing from your past trauma or accepting a trauma and continuing to move forward. You'd literally just have to like, Derek, say trial and error, see what works for you. Because we can't agree to disagree that some of us are not just going to see the same point. Candace, love to hear from you.

Different strokes for different folks, Candace. Well, you know, Gregory, I really appreciate your perspective on this. And I think maybe what you're wondering is, and maybe you're not, but this is kind of what I took from it was, you know, you're saying, well, what about your core? Like, what do you identify as? Like, is that your true self? And, you know, I look at our self-concept is what is projected. Who do I believe I am to be? I used to believe I was somebody who never got what she wanted, who was going to live a life of suffering forever at the hand of another person. And that I was never going to get out of that. my circumstance. That was my self-concept. And as I changed and evolved and healed from my abusive marriage, I'm now able to say, I am something different. You know, whatever you, whatever your I am is, is what makes up who you identify as. And for me now, I know, what happened? What? What happened? What did that be where the manifesting comes in at? The manifestation might just building a new reality for yourself and continuing to tell yourself one thing like changing

something that happened already. Basically, like your I am, like I am like affirmations, you know, at the core. You know, you can just speak affirmations like I am better. I am happy. I am whole. You know, I tell people to go deeper and do it when you're in your subconscious state so that your subconscious hears you. But really at the core to manifest anything, you know, I.

I am the number one podcast host. I am changing lives. I am helping others by my story. Whatever your I am is who you are. But that I am can change. And I believe as we grow and we want to evolve, we have to change our I am. We have to change what our old story was and say, now I am this. Now I am striving or thriving and successful when before I was struggling and suffering.

I think that's really, that's great. I like that. But I feel like there's a combination of Candace and Derek. So if we do this acceptance thing, and then we want to hone it and just try to move forward, but then we start to experience the duality thing. And the duality thing is based off, because we haven't accepted what happened in the past,

and we start to put herself back into similar situations. to see if we can overcome similar. Have any of you guys experienced them like that? So I don't mean to keep talking, but duality doesn't happen in my life the way it used to.

I used to see a lot of contradictory things where I'm like, I'm trying to change, but I had all of these old programs, which is what I would consider duality. I had the old beliefs saying, no, you're not enough, no, you're not successful, no, you're not successful, no, you're not successful.

Or sabotaging thoughts. Yeah, or sabotaging. Same thing. And so, but as I've healed my beliefs and changed, transformed into this version of myself now, who's very different than I was two years ago, I don't have those same triggers popping up or sabotaging thoughts or anxious thoughts that were happening on a daily basis where I couldn't shut it off in my mind. I thought everyone was this way. I thought everyone had 100 million thoughts happening at every second of their life. and as I healed that and change that story and change myself concept,

I no longer see the duality that you're referring to. It's just not present the way it used to be. That's not saying I don't have a bad day or I don't get irritated at my husband. To me, Candace, that actually clarifies again. I think a lot of what's coming across from what I'm hearing from you is in the message and in the clarity because scripture tells you that as a man thinks so is he. And so it's not always about going back to that moment. It's just making a new decision.

in the moment. That's why I would say magic and miracles happen in the moment. In this moment, I am the number one podcast host, Sharif's party. You know what I mean? I decided, I spoke my word. Sorry, Gregory. That's, you know, it's like the identity that you choose, that you really believe for yourself, not, not like, oh, I'm going to, you know, not some surface level thing, but when you really are like, I'm going to sink my teeth into this. And then it's like going to going to the gym, you know, you don't just bulk up in a day. It's having the goal, I'm going to lose this much pounds and put on this much muscle, and then consistently showing up. And when you fall off, getting back in the game and not being that victim or not falling back to old behaviors.

How do you get that deeper meaning? Because you're saying you don't want to go, you don't want to be surface. How do you develop that deep understanding of yourself? Okay. You do that by, and this is something I teach in my program. I have a business building program, but step one is about the entrepreneur, the visionary, I call them. And you have to really look at, and I, great marketing is what I call now to wow. So a class example is weight loss. So you've got the guy that's over-gates.

Let's hear an authentic answer. I want to hear an authentic answer. You're not aware. I'm trying to get you done. When you know where you're at now, and then you want to know. where you want to be and you can really see the gap and you can understand why you were where you were

there's echo but you you're the vehicle to get to the change you want so you have to be motivated to fill the car up get the map get the GPS and drive right and if you're a lot of times in our when trauma happens

we're often in the backseat of our own car and upset that somebody's not driving us and it's about for me at least it's about going you know what no one's going to drive me there. I got to get in the damn car. I got to learn how to drive this thing. And I'm going to go there. And if tire blows out or run out of gap, whatever, I'm going to get there, no matter what. There's no, there's no exception to them, right? So it's having, it's like I was saying earlier about storytelling. It's when the character has, they're basically

kicked out of the plane and there's this parachute and they got to put that thing on and figure it out or they're going to, they're going to splatter. And that's really what life's, to me, that's what life's about is you have these moments that force you to either rise up and be the hero of your own story or to just fail miserably, right? So, so a lot of people, they manage to bubble through life and they're pretending they're the hero, but they're really fumbling all along. But the people that I know they're the happiest and the most successful recognize that there's never that perfect benchmark. Life's never going to be like, oh, it's, you know, it's glorious. But it's, it's always like, I'm doing the best I can and I'm marching towards that, you know,

I'm driving towards, for using the car analogy, I'm driving towards that destination, and there's a couple sidetracks along the way, but I'm going to get back on the highway and keep driving. So it's having that self-motivation to let the past go and keep going forward. And I think all the techniques that people are talking about are all accurate. If that, if that's the gas, it works to get your car to where you need it to go. Yes, I love it. I love it. I love it.

And I think that's what Derek was saying about doing the work, the things, the steps that he needs to do the work. I think we're all saying the same thing in different ways. This has been an amazing show, incredible show. I love the conversation. Now, we are coming down to the last few minutes of the show, and what I love to do at the end of every show, which is simply allow my guests the opportunity to speak directly to the audience,

to everyone who is watching the show live, as well as everyone who is watching the archives, and let them know what you want them to take away from your appearance here today, and we're going to start with you, Derek. Yeah, well, listen, it's been, absolute pleasure to be on the show. I've loved listening. I've loved

contributing. Love Gregory for Toronto logical questions because I made his answer so fair play to Gregory. Murphy, I don't know if that's an Irish name by the way, so I'm sure you've... He's Irish. Yeah, yeah, 100% grill. Spud Murphy. So listen, about me, I'm not going to keep it short

and sweet guys. If anybody wants to reach out to me, I'm on Facebook, Instagram, as Derek Rowe. My website is clearly there at www.derickrodot.e. If you are wanting to take the next step and perform, listen, Acher, to commit to being your best self, should we say, I'll

always ask a question, do you want to be your absolute best then? Reach out to me. We will dispel any negative patterns are in your way, any beliefs that are in your way. We will transform your mindset. I have a team behind me that will also guide and lead you to the destination

along with transforming your body to give you the ultimate package. I think I'm going to have to get transferred my body with Derek because I know he wouldn't let me just sit on the couch and eat bonbons all day. Derek, we'll see the guns. Let's see the guns. Let's see the guns, Derek. All right, all right. I'm walking armrest with you. Thank you, Derek. Sparks, what we have for us? I, we'm honored to have been here today. I'm glad everybody took the time out to join us and listen to what we have to talk about.

I'm glad that everybody did have different views. As you guys can see, there are different shows for different folks. I think it's important for you all to know. It doesn't matter where you came from. It doesn't matter what your current situation is. Wife can always get better, like they were saying during the show, you just need to put the work in, and you can really achieve anything that you want to achieve.

I'm all for uplifting. I'm also supporting, and I do want to be there for you all. I can be there for you guys. You guys can check my Instagram. My Instagram is Marks Sensations. It's below. And for my Instagram, you'll see like my pictures and booking links as well as my inventory for the items I'll sell. But you can book a nail set and come get glammed up with me. You can have positive conversations, encouraging conversations, motivational conversations. I'm here for it all. I love it. I got to see the nails.

Wait, we got to go back. Oh, their new friend. Nice. Nice. I don't want to with you. This is my favorite Lelt.

This is a little jump nail. I don't know I can't put in the camera. Oh,

that's a lot. Wow. I'm going to charm on it. But they get creative.

Yeah, love it. Love it. We got guns. We got nails. What do you have over there, Mike,

for us? Receeding hairline. It is. Bye. A little weight pool, so that's what you need. You know, Mike. Okay, you don't get a big big thing.

So, me, some proposals. No, I, um, if you're an entrepreneur and, and a lot of my clients come in, like, hey, Mike, I suck at marketing and Brandy, can you help me out? So if that's kind of where you're at, and especially if you are looking to sell your information, like courses or books or anything like that, then I've got a full-proof process so you can just go to the visionary planner.com. We've got some free trainings on there. So go check it out.

And you can reach out to me on the site. Thank you, Mike. Definitely appreciate you, Ms. Candice. All right. Again, thank you for having me. This was such a fun, challenging opportunity for us to kind of share different perspectives. And I really, I love that. I love different, I can debate all day.

And nobody's right. It's just what's right for you. So if you're looking to transform your life and you want to do it in a way that feels quick for you and you can get through something it won't take it two years to do it like it did for me to kind of figure it out

and master it. I've been able to master this process now. I'd love to help you. Anyone who's got limiting beliefs, struggling with past pain and trauma, anybody who wants to manifest love in their life, that's another thing I specialize in, is relationships. That is what I do.

So I'd love to help you effortless manifesting.com. You can check out. I have tons of guided meditations. I have easy products to download for workbooks and journaling things and just all sorts of stuff work one-on-one. I'm on every platform you can imagine, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, all of the things. And it's just all effortless manifesting. So I love it. And I love effortless. That's my favorite thing. Don't tell you that. I don't want to do it for us. Gregory, what do you have for us? I just want to thank everybody for the great conversation today. I really enjoyed being invited on. As far as transformation, take a look at

yourself. And if there's something you don't like, address it. Don't take the quick fix out. Go back to really what hurts and purge it. It's going to take as long as it needs to heal. You can figure more about that by tuning into my podcast. Your transformation station, go to my website, philvasa.com. Send me an email. do you want to develop yourself, get a new perspective to build yourself up with real presence. Okay, so go give me that website. You said something for Vaza. Followfavaza.com.

Okay, yeah, I missed all of that. I'm like, isn't his name Gregory? Okay. Thank you. Followfaviza.com. I want to thank you all for being guests on today's episode of the Roundtable Talk show. And I especially want to thank everyone who tuned in to watch this show. live as well as everyone who is watching in the archives. I appreciate your support. I appreciate

you watching. I appreciate you sharing. But as always, the most important thing to me is that you support our guests. Our guests showed up for you this morning. They came with their opinions for sure today. So please support them. Please visit their websites. Do some work with them. Have a session with them. Follow them on social media. Reach out to them. Send them a message. And when you do, please let them know. Sharifah Hardy says hi. Now, if you're interested, interested in more ways that I can help your business or maybe you want to be a guest on the Roundtable Talk Show. Please visit my website at Askshrifa.com. Until tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. Pacific, everyone have a safe and a blessed day. Bye now. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode.

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