Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - BECOME THE ANSWER - The Most Important Mental Shift for Success

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." — Peter Drucker   In this episode, I explore one of the most powerful mental shifts you can make: stop searching for answers and start becoming the answer.  What steps can you take today to become the answer you’ve been looking for? Monday Motivation Newsletter: https://www.eddiepinero.com/newsletter Free Ebook: www.eddiepinero.com/ebook  YouTube: www.eddiepinero.com/youtube 

Perhaps the most important mental shift completely changed my life is this. Stop looking for answers and become the answer. So before I unpack this, I want to give you a little context. I, over the last 10 years, have lived in a few places. I've lived in Boston. I've lived in South Florida. Love them both. Currently, last year, I moved to Scottsdale, Arizona.

And you follow your intuition. Sometimes you just get it right. Like I love this place. I love the weather. I love the hiking. And I think most importantly, the people, the community, the network, the friends I already have. I mean, it's just a beautiful place. Everyone's warm, welcoming.

It's very transient, right? So it's not very clicky. It feels like people are just accepting and always trying to meet new folks. And it's just, it's awesome. With that. would have found interesting is there is a culture of like pop-up networking events. And I separated a little bit from like, you know, some groups that I'm involved in with the same people where we're meeting regularly, you know, once a month or whatever. But there are just sort of, there's an influx of like, there's a networking event here, everyone come, networking event here, everybody come.

And it's kind of sporadic. There was one that happened in a conference room below where I live, right? Same building. I had some friends there. So I thought, you know what? I'll go down and some incredible people doing some incredible things. And one of the conversations that was being had or the message that was being expressed was essentially this. It was you're one handshake away from your life changing.

You're one relationship away from your business taking off. That thing you need just might be the accountant or videographer or editor sitting in this room, right? Which on the surface, sure, why not? You always benefit from having talented people in your life, from having killers on your team in great working relationships, absolutely. But I couldn't help but think that that idea. could be deceptive, that in a way it's missing the mark. Because I'm looking around the room, myself included, by the way, and I'm thinking, I bet every single person in this room would be better off.

If they took these four hours, right, the two, two and a half to be in the room, and then I'm sure, you know, people had to drive to the meeting room. So let's just say a full evening. they'd be better off if they took that, went home, by themselves, asked themselves, how can I be better, and worked on being the 1% at what they do? And the reason I think that's so important is because I want to say societally, but I just think perhaps it's an algorithm thing online, the content were pushed, the stories were told, it's outsourcing value.

So it's, here's how you get rich online. Here's how you have an amazing network of people that will change your life. When in reality, all of those things are lagging indicators, meaning they come secondary. And they come secondary to becoming more valuable. When you ask yourself consistently, how can I be better at what I do? How can I be the 1% of what I do?

How can I be so exceptional? Or as the quote says, so good, people can't ignore you, all those things come. When you're a killer at what you do, people with talent want to be a part of it. You get calls and emails. You get DMs because you're adding value. When you're adding value in a meaningful way,

you're making money because you're contributing to a marketplace. It seems so obvious that we forget. You know, and I'm certainly not saying I am the 1% of what I, but I can tell you I'm locked in on that. And I understand that. And there are hours spent in this very room every day writing and speaking so that I can become closer to that. Because I know when you have achieved that in your world, all that other stuff accompanies

it. Period. So don't interpret this as networking bad. Money, bad. Right? Of course not. but they're secondary, they're lagging. If you focus on how do I become exceptional,

what do I do every day that makes me different, stand out, that makes me great, you're positioning yourself to go to the moon, you're positioning yourself to have all these other things. The network should supplement the greatness. Just don't forget to work on the greatness, right? Life changes when you stop looking for answers. and become the answer.

Here's to going, even when you don't want to go. To moving forward when you're uncomfortable, to stepping up when you're fearful, here's to courage. I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today about understanding the difference between two things. On one hand, the fear that presents itself when we're growing, leveling up, right?

Like we've all felt nerves before a big event, or an important life change, things like that. Then on the other hand, the emotions that arise when we start to feel like something isn't right for us, similar discomfort, but not quite the same. We feel nervous or uneasy because we know we're misaligned. And where we landed in our conversation

was that when you were on the edge of that metaphorical cliff, and your body's pushing back, your heart's pounding, your mind is racing, you're nervous, you're fearful, The question worth asking is will I be disappointed in myself if I don't go through with this? Will I be letting myself down here by turning back? You have to jump into the future and imagine, you know, future you sitting at the table reflecting on this. If you see yourself as regretful, wishing you pushed through, then it's not an alignment issue. It's a matter of courage.

And when you think about it, it usually... feels obvious looking back. Like I can easily recognize in hindsight the things I stopped doing because they weren't aligned with who I wanted to be. When you stop doing the wrong thing, it feels like a breath of fresh air. Like a step back to leap forward. Those decisions create a more fulfilled life. But those times I stopped because, you know, I let the moment get bigger than my end goal. Those times I caved and decided I didn't want to pay. the price solely because of the temporary discomfort. I remember those two. That's a different feeling altogether, a not so good feeling, as we all know. Jim Rohn says it like this. There's

a pain of discipline or a pain of regret. Choose your pain. One of the things that makes life challenging is that we have to be open to some level of discomfort in our lives. That's just what it is to be human. Now our power is that we get to to choose where we let that pain in and what it means, what it will do for us. Will it be the type of pain that grows us or the type of pain that reminds us what could have been? And I really think most of the time we stop, not because the path was wrong for us, but because we somewhere along the way forgot that most of life's best experiences and circumstances and opportunities come with a hefty price tag. They demand a lot of us.

And in those moments when the lights shine the brightest, when we feel the weight of the world coming down on us, it's easy to misdiagnose that discomfort as a stop sign. It's like, oh, I feel alone, I feel unsure, I don't have any validation, my pride hurts, my confidence is shaken, whatever it may be. These things just, you know, even as I'm saying them out loud now seem awful. when in reality, they're just the cost of admission. It's like you have to not know before you can ever know.

But try telling yourself that as you're wandering around feeling nothing but pressure. It's a different story altogether. It's a challenge. But here's the good news. It's a challenge you're capable of handling, of overcoming. Life is about stepping into things. we don't feel ready for, and then learning repeatedly that we can piece together the knowledge along the way.

It reminds us that fear is going to show up regardless of what we do in life. But to grow into the people we are capable of becoming, we have to understand that fear is in its own unique way an invitation. The discomfort doesn't mean something's wrong, often the opposite. It's letting you know that more is available, that you are right where you need to be, but you have to change in order to become worthy of what's on the other side. Life is not saying no, it's merely demanding of you courage and courage you have. What is the difference?

When I think back to the first time I deviated from my comfort zone, my routine, I lost the certainty in my life. And as much as I wanted to go back, I remember telling myself one more day, just one more day until someday became the current day and that made all the difference. Day one starting my company, I remember turning the camera on and feeling so lost saying, words into a microphone that I almost didn't press record. But I did until one day I realized not only was it bearable, it was my purpose. The vehicle that transported my thoughts to the world, and that made all the difference. During the time when some of the projects I invested the most

time and energy into flopped, I remember almost saying this isn't for me. But I kept creating. I kept creating until I found that intersection of what I love and what adds value to the world. And that made all the difference. What's crazy is how small a decision that difference seems in the moment, how insignificant the decision feels as one stands and looks out from their doorway, the difference between going and not going, stepping out or staying in, making the move or waiting one more day.

That difference is sometimes disguised in a cloak of triviality, but do not be fooled. The little decision to move forward, to hang on when your ego is screaming at you to just let go, walk away, find some sense. semblance of comfort and predictability. Those decisions to endure in the moments of hardship are what we come to look back on as the turning points that reshaped and redefined life as we know it. The courage required to make the call, release the video, register the business, send the message, reconnect with that loved one, deviate from what your friends are doing,

all those things, they may seem small enough now to spend a minute or two thinking about before moving on to our routines and what we are comfortable doing. After all, it's easy to disregard the small things. But the acorn that becomes the oak tree is small. We must, along with the current reality, see the potential in what those things become.

And sure there are times where the present and the ideal are so different that it seems almost incomprehensible. But how do we get there? We get there by making the little decisions that will ultimately make the greatest difference. You are always one decision away from that evolution. So next time you find yourself looking down at the step in front of you, the step you know in your soul is the right step. Reminds yourself, yes, it sure would be easy to walk away here. It sure would be easy to turn back. Yeah, it's just one tiny step.

But in totality, it's exponentially more than that. It's the lifeblood of your new reality. The water to your sea, the oxygen to your lungs, the crossroads in front of you will be, with your permission, the beginning of something larger. than life. It will ultimately be the difference.

Normality is a paved road. It's comfortable to walk but no flowers grow. Vincent Van Gogh. What is normality? Well, according to the dictionary, normal is the usual average or typical state

or condition. Common. Normal is also a decision. There's a quote by Robin Sharma, and I've looked to this for years, it states, if you want what the 5% have, you need to be willing to do what only the 5% are willing to do. What they obtain is not, definitionally speaking, normal. It's uncommon. And what they do to arrive at that outcome is also uncommon.

They play by a different set of rules, and in doing so end up with an entirely different outcome than most. To put it simply, we arrive at normal when our effort level is normal. You put in normal hours or give average effort at work. Most likely your results, career progress, compensation will be normal. You pay moderate attention to your fitness, your health. Well, your level of physical fitness will be normal. You dedicate typical levels of effort to your relationships, your relationships will be normal.

Not terrible, but not remarkable. I'm sure you get the idea here, the pattern. Generally, over time, what we get starts to reflect what we gave. And here's where the self-assessment comes in, the awareness. You have to ask yourself in pursuit of something greater whether your actions are aligning with your goals and objectives. There's nothing so futile. is telling yourself you're going to achieve miraculous larger than life outcomes,

and then putting in average typical normal effort. If normal goes in, normal comes out. And as I was thinking about this recently, as it pertains to my life, I had a little epiphany. So fitness is a big area of focus for me. I run or do some type of strength training six days a week. As far as I can tell, that level of effort is beyond normal. I go above and beyond in that area of my life.

But even though I'm aligned on my mission to be the 5% there, I realized there was a gap. I realized my diet was very normal, completely unextorinary. It's just easy to convince yourself to eat whatever you want after a really long run, right? Why not pizza? After all, it's the normal thing to do. But I had to remind myself that what I wanted in that area of my life holistically is not normal.

Therefore, the inputs cannot be normal. It was time to start standing up to those things that are very easy to say yes to, to rationalize. And that's the idea here. I pick my 5% categories where I truly want to excel and make sure. There's nothing normal about their development. You want top-tier results. You have to give top-tier effort. Make the sacrifices, map out the path.

I've come to see this differently over the years. It's not an indictment against you as a person for choosing normal. But know that it is indicative of a choice. And the output eventually comes to align with the input. all the actions or lack thereof stack up to resemble something and it's up to you to decide what that is and so the next question perhaps somewhat of an obvious one is when it comes to the things that matter most to you why stay confined to normal it's the above and beyond the peak experiences the times we overcame, fought and won, took the risk and came out on top. That's when we are at our best.

That's when we get the most from life. So is normal the end of the world? No. It's just that abnormal is the beginning of one. You can be your greatest fan and also your biggest critic. In fact, not only is it healthy, it's necessary. To be there for yourself, celebrate that commitment to show up, but also to hold yourself accountable for growth. Because to be great is to know there's more in you, to understand that there's greatness waiting to be extracted from the miracle that is you. Here are two words.

I want to take a look at both of them. and adaptation. Consistency first. Why? Because consistency gets you in the door. It's the cost of admission. Consistency is you showing up for yourself. Day in and day out. Creating mastery and competence through repetition.

Manufacturing a data set that will be used. used to guide your journey, taking a once stagnant idea, and putting it into motion. Consistency is doing what you promised yourself you'd do when you said you'd do it. Why? Because that's who you are. You create goals and then conquer those goals. When your head hits the pillow at night, you may be tired. may have struggled. You may have swung and missed. You may be wondering how things unfolded the way they did, but you showed up. So celebrate that. Celebrate yourself, be your biggest fan. Because the world can't take your will to step forward and cannot seize your consistency.

Not without your permission. So other than part one, let's call consistency the commitment to show up for you. Now the second piece. Consistency's older brother adaptation. See, that consistency, like we just talked about it, will get you in the door. It signs you up for the game, but it guarantees nothing. See where consistency puts that pen in your hand. paper in front of you, patch you on the back where consistency gives you a chance to write your

story. One's level of success or achievement relies on their ability to adapt. To do the thing that's so hard for people to do, look in the mirror and ask, how can I be better? I've been consistent for 30 days, sure. Here's what's right, here's what's wrong, now it's time to adjust, to be critical, to understand that expecting more of the self does not in any way diminish the task at hand. It gives you room to expand into that next version of yourself in a way that simply showing up doesn't. Without a willingness to adapt, you get Einstein's definition of insanity right doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results you get day after day of wondering why this square peg won't just save us all the trouble and

go into the round hole without a willingness to adapt we move for the sake of moving and we work for the sake of working but if we could find it within ourselves to look at the data that's been acquired day after day and use it to help guide ourselves to that North Star, we'll find strength. To seek out the delta between where we are and where we want to be, that is power. But it calls for more than just showing up. It calls for looking around. It calls for observing and then adapting.

So yeah, your greatest fan and your greatest critic. Be there for you, but don't let yourself get away with good enough. Showing up is critical. It's powerful, but it's just the beginning. If your eyes stay open, if you're willing to both love yourself and improve yourself simultaneously, all the world becomes available to you. There are no mountains you can't climb or oceans you can't cross. And sure, the world will do what the world does.

It will place challenges before you. But rather than those challenges being the reason you can't, rather than accepting those challenges as a permanent reality, they become nothing more than the next puzzle to be solved, the next little adaptation that's required of you. You show up, you self-assess, you adjust, and carry right on towards that hurt. horizon again and again. So when you find yourself frustrated or up against that wall, remember, you are building your ideal reality.

Proud of yourself for showing up, for being consistent. Because as dire as it might seem, you overcame a lot to get here. But also know that the challenge at hand is not an indictment of you or your goals. It's your chance to review the game plan and adjust. your opportunity to do what so many fail to do not shrink from the world but adapt yourself to it grow because of it

today is your opportunity to take what the world gives you and build something new that was at the Heat Celtics game with my brother a few days ago and the Celtics at the moment are the best team in basketball which is fun being that we're from Boston originally and right now the team has a handful of really good players.

But one of them, Jason Tatum, has essentially separated himself as one of the most dominant players in the game. He's a superstar. And as we watched him play from the stands, we were talking about a narrative that I don't hear mentioned a lot. And maybe it is in like basketball circles, but I don't hear much out and about. I think it's incredible.

It's the fact that Boston's general manager at the time Danny Ainge saw value in Tatum way before everybody else. Now, don't get me wrong, he was always elite. But the Celtics GM saw superstar potential in Tatum to a much greater extent than everyone else, right? In fact, in the 2017 draft, the Celtics had the first overall pick. And, you know, for those unfamiliar, it's usually pretty obvious how the first handful of picks are going to go.

The players are all ranked before the draft, and the team with the first pick is going to select the first best player, obviously. The team with the second pick is going to select the second best player. And while it was sort of known that Tatum was the agreed-upon third best player in the draft,

but the Celtics didn't want number one and two, even though the scouts and draft boards and, you know, the talking heads all around the country saw them as better. right so here's danny aange with that coveted number one overall pick which in basketball is so valuable and he's like i don't care i want the guy who's projected number three right so he trades down he gives philly his number one pick basically saying hey if the guy i want is going to go third anyway might as well trade away the first pick and get a little extra value right and still get tatum at number

three, and that's exactly what they did, and here we are, watching him as one of the best players in the game. And by the way, the guy who went first overall is relatively underperformed, given where he was picked. The guy who went number two overall, same, has been up and down, constant injury issues. And I look back at how that played out, and I just think, like, the pressure, the weight of having this coveted pick and being like, no, I don't want it, right? The guy that I want is number three, right? Being so confident that you see value where others don't. It's hard to do that with conviction.

You know, so I look at this and sure he made some mistakes, as all GMs do, you can't predict the future. It's a numbers game, right? But the ability to spot value, particularly in places others seem to disregard, is what I see as the difference between excellence and mediocrity. Life is always trying to give us the equivalent of a draft board, right, in some capacities.

Like, here's what's normal, here's what's projected. Number one, two, and three options are the quote-unquote best options. For the most part, sure, it's a decent guideline, but it's not enough. It's not enough. I think we need to train ourselves to be asking, yeah, but where is the move that manifests into that game-changing difference? Where in my life is the move that pushes me over the top, the action that sets me apart.

I staying on the basketball theme, one of the most inspiring things I'd ever heard was Kobe in an interview. Talking about the extra value he'd capitalize on throughout the day, being the difference in his career, saying, look, if I get up two hours before everyone else and I get a workout in, not once in a while,

but every day, that's the difference. Why? Well, in a week, it's nothing. In a month, it's not much. In six months, it creates a gap. In a year, that's quite the advantage. In five years, you're not even on the same level. In a decade, he is now untouchable to his competition. Yeah, it's just the morning.

Everyone has the morning, but Kobe sought and recognized it as opportunity as his value. The consensus out there in the world is that the morning is, when you ease into your day. It doesn't put what you're doing at 6 a.m. High on that metaphorical draft board. Now, who cares?

Well, to Kobe, ah, perfect. There's the value that I can spot, that I can utilize, that most people will not even think about. And in totality, I believe that to be the truth, right? Like, you can do fine, simply anticipating and living in and around the value, as identified by the majority,

by following their blueprint. But to separate, to move from adequate to excellence, you need to find those places where you can squeeze more out of life. You need to dive deeper into what's around you than, ah, that's what's expected, or that's what everyone else is doing. That's what's perceived as valuable. Be your own GM, right? question the way of things.

Not just out in the world, but in your home, in your day-to-day. Where are the moves that can take you from a, I don't know, a six inefficiency to an eight? What ways can you be unconventional, flip the script to unveil the value you've been walking by for months, years, maybe even your whole life without realizing? There are always pieces around us to be great. and not just get by or survive, but thrive. There are the necessary ingredients to our right and left, always to astound ourselves. We just have to arrange them in a way that allows us to maximize their value.

It's a constant moving of parts, trying again and again, but not settling for a ranking system to life as prescribed by the outside world. There's more if you're willing to find it.