Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - Become The Most POWERFUL Version Of Yourself || Best Motivational Speeches

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

"The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self." - The Dalai Lama

You can allow yourself to be distracted. Or, as Robin Sharma suggests, you can do incredible things, but you can't do both. You can stay where the safety and security is. Or you can risk what you have in pursuit of your dreams. But you can't do both. You can remain the character depicted in yesterday's story. or you can take those lessons, experiences, and craft a new story.

But you cannot do both. Life is a game of trade-offs. Where any decision to go in one direction is a simultaneous decision to not go in another. A commitment to X is necessarily a rejection of Y, at least in that moment. making this question all the more important, what is your North Star? I ask, because everything you do is bringing you closer to

or holding you back from capturing it. One of my lifelines over the years has been clinging to the quote or idea that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, consistently trying to arrive there. Why? Because when things get complex in my life, I don't know what I'm choosing. Clutter means I've lost sight of what's necessary versus what's trivial.

I become unclear on those critical trade-offs I'm making. And we've all experienced this, right? The simplest questions are always the hardest to arrive at. We can talk in circles about the details, but how often are we honest with ourselves about the why? I remember job interviews in college going on and on about the books I read, the papers I'd written current events. But then falling flat on my face when asked,

so who's Eddie Panero? A dude doing an interview? Like, what do you want for me? My brain had never gone there. Or even less formal. I'll never forget a friend of mine a few years back asked me what my perfect day was, just casually as we're driving.

I said, I don't know, Tom. I've never really thought about that. He goes, then how are you ever supposed to have a perfect day if you don't know? And how simple? Simple and simultaneously incredible. Who wants a life without perfect days, right? Like what is all this for?

The world is infinite. And you can be ruled by its variability and its complexity. You can run around adhering to all its rules, hoping you're doing the right thing, whatever that is. Or you can identify, carve out, and rule over your own little piece of it. Your own kingdom. You can choose you. If you take the time to uncover who you are, what lights you up.

And then, as Emerson advocates, hits your wagon to that star. The best investment of our time is to truly understand and decide what we should be saying yes to. Because if we don't know what matters, then nothing does. Here's a famous dialogue from Lewis Carroll's Allison 1.1. Alice, would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here? That depends a good deal on where you want to get to, said the cat. Well, I don't much care where, said Alice. Then it doesn't matter which way you go, said the cat.

Well, so long as I get somewhere, Alice added as an explanation. Oh, you're sure to do that, said the cat. If only you walk long enough. Beautiful passage. If you don't care where you go, any road will take you there. And see, it's not wrong to not know. It doesn't make you bad or mean life is a waste of time. It just means you're taking a large portion of control,

which is one of your superpowers and tossing it up into the ether. It means you are bowing to hope. And I know that no one here wants to live every day merely clinging to hope. This is not a we'll see how it goes, channel or podcast, right? This is about the little changes that take life from a six out of ten to a nine or a ten out of ten. It's about using what's around us to maximize the miracle we are living and breathing every day. Again, life is complex. So for you to take the time and simplify

to remove what's unnecessary, what an advantage. Yeah, I could do this or that. I could go here or there. But guess what? I've spent the time thinking, asking myself the tough questions, and now I can be more deliberate in choosing my path so that I arrive at a correct destination, a destination that belongs to me.

that means something to me, that lights me up and excites me. That's living. And of course, this isn't a one-time lightbulb moment, a permanent move. No, as we grow, we change. What we want shifts. Hey, sometimes the current path even reveals itself to be the wrong path. It's happened to me plenty. But when you're consistently in tune with what matters to you, who you are,

you can make the adjustments. You can be deliberate. No more shooting targets in the dark Because life is too short Are days numbered Our arrows finite Live life like each day means something Because each day is transporting you

To your something Let's use the pieces around us to build our own skylines Etch our own stories into the sands of time If a decision to do one thing is a simultaneous decision to not do something else, make sure to have that North Star in scope so that you don't amidst that chaos of life unknowingly turn your back on it. Ask yourself who you are and be as patient as possible working for that answer. Because as far as I can tell, that information is the key that unlocks infinite possibility. It's knowledge

that opens the door to life on your terms. The world, it needs you. But it needs the real you. Not the one with the mask looking to blend in, nor the one making all those concessions to avoid being left out. No, the real you. With your flaws and your insufficiencies,

your strengths and your gifts, your hopes, your dreams. It needs the you that so often hides away underneath that blanket of caution and skepticism. The you that's coupled with vulnerability. More easily ignored than brought to life with conviction, but that's the you this world needs. When I was younger, I seemed to separate life into two categories. Me and one, and everyone else in the other.

And guess which of the two categories I assumed had it all figured out? In my mind, I was the one, the only one who didn't know. The one who was winging it, stumbling my way through each and every day. All those other people, though, they not only had plans, They had the right plans. They knew the right details. But I didn't. And so in my head, me being right required I necessarily look to them.

I follow their lead. Since there exists an established correct path, that must be where I steer the ship. But then some time passes. You grow older. Maybe pick up a little wisdom. along the way. And you realize that no one really knows what they're doing.

There are very few objectively correct roads that must be traveled. Life is not a paint by number. It's a blank canvas. And understanding this changed the image in my head from one of me knocking on the door of a party everyone else was at to visualizing. to visualizing almost 8 billion individual souls running around, trying to figure things out

in the limited stretch of time they have here on planet Earth. I realized I had at times felt small only because of the gravity I attributed to people who were just trying to figure it out themselves. And the point, certainly not to diminish anyone else's journey, it was to give myself permission to embark upon my own. It's just hard to do that when you view everyone else as one collective, all-knowing entity. As opposed to 8 billion people just like you

with thoughts, fears, hopes, and plans. The question is not what is the right thing to do here. The question is, when will you allow yourself to venture out into the world and find what the right thing means for you? That's what's required. And the world will be better for you having found it. Because after all, no one sees life like you do.

No one has the background or worldview. The universe has conspired to put you as you are here now. Almost an impossible occurrence in and of itself. How easy that is to forget. We were born on the summit, yet the inclination for some reason is to keep our eyes closed. No, open them. Take it all in.

Allow the view to propel you forward. The world needs you. It needs you with your mistakes that have helped you evolve into the person you could never have been without them. It needs you with your worries and your fears. Conquering them will be pivotal in your evolution. It needs you with your flaws and blemishes.

How else would life convince you that the things that make you different are the same things that make you strong? It doesn't matter how many people tell you or try to explain to you the magnitude of what's at your feet. Life does not begin until you allow yourself to start living. Until you realize that yesterday does not define you. And the categories in which you've placed yourself, they're transatlantic. The past is not the reason you can or can't begin again. It's not who you are forever. No, it's the advantage you now possess

as you move forward. Should you choose to move forward? It's in realizing you are bound by nothing that you free yourself. And for the one wondering, why does it matter what I think? Why should I start or try or risk anything? Why should I pick up the brush and start to brush and start painting on that canvas before me. Well, because that step is where it all begins,

the meaning, the purpose, it's all predicated upon our willingness to pick that brush up and start painting. You ask what's the point? The point is everything. One detail at a time, we dismantle our previously held notions about what life is supposed to be and finally start living one that matters. No one's masterpiece will look like yours. No one's depiction of life will follow the same parameters you've etched onto that canvas. In fact, there are people that will be changed forever because you chose to live your life fully. There are lives of those around you that will be transformed because you picked up the brush. There are stories that will now end in triumph because you found the courage to start, to see

delight in yourself. You being fulfilled and the world being better off, they're not two different things. When you live a life true to yourself, when you let go of the half-toes and step into the get-toes, the world experiences the luxury of the beauty that comes next. When you fill your cup up first, you're able to then replenish those around you. That's not nothing. So who are you? Beneath the characterizations,

beneath the roles you've taken on, beneath what you feel you're supposed to be, all that. Who are you and will you give life to that person? Will you be that courageous? After all, that's what life is. It's not a game of right and wrong so much as it's a game of courage.

The ones willing to take the leap end up worlds away from where they began. So my ask of you is that you begin tearing down those walls created in your head. The ones that accumulated over days and months and years. The ones that box you in or keep you out that suggest you are anything other than that one in 400 trillion miracle. Ready to embark upon the ride of a lifetime. And sure, it means shedding the comfort of obscurity, the safety of projection.

Looking yourself in the mirror and saying, I am worth it. And there's more out there means without question you are taking off the training wheels, dancing with vulnerability. But it also means when that time comes and you look back on how you lived your days, you can say I truly. you can say that the world needed me, and I had the courage to heed its call. Normality is a paved road. It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow. Vincent Van Gogh.

What is normality? Well, according to the dictionary, normal is the usual average or typical state or condition. Common. Normal is also a decision. There's a quote by Robin Sharma, and I've looked to this for years, it states, if you want what the 5% have, you need to be willing to do what only the 5% are willing to do. What they obtain is not, definitionally speaking, normal.

It's uncommon. And what they do to arrive at that outcome is also uncommon. They play by a different set of rules and induce. Doing so end up with an entirely different outcome than most. To put it simply, we arrive at normal when our effort level is normal. You put in normal hours or give average effort at work. Most likely your results, career progress, compensation will be normal. You pay moderate attention to your fitness, your health.

your level of physical fitness will be normal. You dedicate typical levels of effort to your relationships. Your relationships will be normal. Not terrible, but not remarkable. I'm sure you get the idea here, the pattern. Generally, over time, what we get starts to reflect what we gave. And here's where the self-assessment comes in, the awareness. You have to ask yourself in pursuit of something greater,

whether your actions are aligning with your goals and objectives. There's nothing so futile is telling yourself you're going to achieve miraculous, larger than life outcomes, and then putting in average typical normal effort. If normal goes in, normal comes out. And as I was thinking about this recently, you know, as it pertains to my life,

I had a little epiphany. Right, so fitness is a big area of focus for me. I run or do some type of strength training six days a week. As far as I can tell, that level of effort is beyond normal. I go above and beyond in that area of my life. But even though I'm aligned on my mission to be the 5% there, I realized there was a gap. I realized my diet was very normal. Completely unextorinary.

It's just easy to convince yourself to eat whatever you want after a really long run, right? Why not pizza? After all, it's the normal thing to do. But I had to remind myself that what I wanted in that area of my life holistically is not normal. Therefore, the inputs cannot be normal. It was time to start standing up

to those things that are very easy to say yes to, to rationalize. And that's the idea here. I pick my 5% count. where I truly want to excel and make sure there is nothing normal about their development. You want top-tier results, you have to give top-tier effort, make the sacrifices, map out the path. I've come to see this differently over the years. It's not an indictment against you as a person for choosing normal, but know that it is indicative of a choice.

And the output eventually comes to align with the input. All the actions or lack thereof stack up to resemble something. It's up to you to decide what that is. And so the next question, perhaps somewhat of an obvious one, is when it comes to the things that matter most to you, why stay confined to normal? It's the above and beyond. The peak experiences, the times we overcame, fought and won, took the risk and came out on top.

That's when we are at our best. That's when we get the most from life. So is normal the end of the world? No. It's just that abnormal is the beginning of life. The other day, I went to check out an open mic. And basically, people sign up to share their short stories, their poetry, stuff like that. And I'm sitting there soaking it all in, enjoying each one as they went up on stage.

And eventually this girl makes her way up. The first thing she does is she tells the room, hey, I've never done this before. But I've always wanted to, so here I am. She takes out her phone and begins reading some of her poems. And pretty quickly, two things stuck out to me. One is she was brilliant. It's just so incredibly talented that I'm thinking, man, if she keeps doing this, she's going to find herself in some crazy places.

She's really going to make an impact. That was the first thing. And the second, as I sat there and watched, was that I noticed that her hands were visibly shaking. I was pretty close to this stage. And I could see this happening to the point where she had to place one on top of the other, right, to keep the hand that was holding her phone from bouncing around while she read. That's how visibly nervous she was.

And immediately my mind went down this road, reflecting back on the moments I've had just like that, because, man, I've been there, where you're both determined and terrified at the same time, but somehow, the desire. to try outweighs the fear just enough for you to find yourself in that exact situation. Just enough that you step into a foreign world, still wondering whether you made the right move, you know, every step of the way from the car, the building, onto this stage, until you hit the point where,

okay, well, now you can't turn back. Now you're here. You can't leave. And the thing is, And this is what was so beautiful to me. She was never forced to do this at gunpoint. No one made her step into that chaos. It was self-created. She could have stayed home. She could have closed her journal or the notes app on her phone. And that would have been the end of that.

But no, not today. Today, one yes would lead to another, would lead to another. and another, and despite the nerves, the sweaty palms, and shaky hands, she would open a new chapter in the story of her life. Proved to herself that she's bolder than she thought she was just a few hours ago. That there's upside when you confront those unknowns in life, and as I sat and watched, I was so incredibly moved, so proud, so impressed, partly because I know that to many of the people in that room,

it might not have looked like much. You know, it's like, okay, great, round of applause for the new artist or poet. Welcome. But I knew the gravity of the moment. I understood how big it truly was, and regardless of what words came out of her mouth or how well they were assembled, that night was not about the performance.

No, it was about new beginnings. It was about outstretched wings, opening one's eyes to the learned helplessness and pinpointing the opportunity that was simply waiting for that first step to occur. And see, that's what I want to emphasize. That's what I believe every single one of us needs to understand, to fully get the biggest moves we make in life,

well it's easy to convince ourselves that they aren't necessary or worth it. The things that transform us hide themselves. A lot of the time they don't feel urgent. They aren't life or death decisions. They can be the stages we never step on. The people we never talk to, the chances we never take. Because, well, what happens if we simply stay right where we are?

Say thank you, but no thank you to those fleeting opportunities. Nothing. Nothing happens, more of the same, and realistically nothing is far less scary than all that other stuff. We don't fear nothingness. We don't intrinsically fear more of the same. No, we fear stepping onto the stage. onto the stage, we fear vulnerability, we fear messing up, looking stupid, being judged. And yeah, when you do nothing, you get to skip all that, avoid all that discomfort and that potential pain. But you also miss the feeling of victory.

Of closing your eyes at night knowing how badly you wanted to just let that ship sail, how terrified you were about what could go wrong, but you did it anyway. You get to feel you have earned the rush of stepping into a chaotic world. And even if temporarily, you tamed it. That's what life is about. Always remember that we have a natural proclivity

to avoid pain, not to pursue the things that make us feel alive. Deep down in our DNA, there exist instructions, instructions to run away from the things that could hurt us, embarrass us. Our minds will race, our bodies will kick and scream, our hands will shake, that's just the way it goes. And so we prove to ourselves that it's all conquerable, that reality can be relearned. It's a layer of resistance that has to be faced and then dismantled. Why was I so moved that night? Because I got to watch in real time someone dismantling that fear on their way to something incredible.

It's courage. Stepping into the arena. Not for the people next to you or anyone else, but for you. Because you know there's more. You know that where you are pales in comparison to where you can be. I'm definitely one to look back from time to time and reflect, and I'll tell you what, I'm incredibly thankful for the hard times that shaped me, the challenges that were forced upon me and made me who I am.

But beyond that, and perhaps even more so, the times I stepped out on my own accord, terrified and manufactured change, the times that the fear of staying the same eclipsed the fear of failure. The times I could have stayed home, woken up the next morning and lost nothing, but instead saw what there was to be gained and threw myself into that metaphorical fire so that confidence could be forged and new chapters could be written.

Let's all remember how out of focus the present moment looks, Remember how inclined we are to look at life through a lens of scarcity. We are trying to avoid, avoid, avoid. But if you can even briefly find the strength to step back and ask, what is there to be gained? You see that not going is the real danger. And those stages that seem arbitrary, that seem like optional, stops along the way while they're just as imperative as the air you breathe. They are not some things.

They are everything. We all hit a point where we look back on the roads we traveled and see the culmination of footsteps that have come to constitute our lives. And we want that moment to feel full. Like no stone was left unturned, like we put it all on the line. So will you see? Step onto this stage of life. Stand your ground as the curtain opens,

read your poems to a foreign audience. Will you share your voice even though it trembles? Because if you do, you're giving yourself permission to truly live, to feel. Look, we're not here for a long time. This is a very short ride. So why not give as much of your self? to the world for as long as you possibly can.

Why not step out knowing that the difference between nothing and everything is what you do with shaky hands? It's easy to look back and think about all the things you could have done differently, especially since as we get older, we get wiser. Right? Time provides this beautiful gift of clarity. And ultimately we realized things like maybe a lot of our hesitation was unwarranted. Maybe a lot of our decisions or indecision was fear-based. And knowing that, it's easy to look over your shoulder and feel like you could have lived a different life or taken a different path. At the very least wish you'd done things differently. But the reality is,

Everything you've done has in fact taken you here. To this moment, and when you dwell on the past, the should-haves and the could-haves, you completely diminish the power of right now, the current moment. You completely underestimate the knowledge and the wisdom you've been collecting for years whose single job is to assist you in your next move. It's a compounding of experience. The good, the bad, and the ugly has landed you right here, right now, and how beautiful right here is. The infinite blank page.

The forever fresh start. And that's not to say the past doesn't matter. It's to suggest that your prior discomfort, your mistakes and lessons have equipped you to deviate from the routines and the cyclical nature of your past. The past is a gateway to now, not a life sentence. And there's a difference. You say last year or last month or last week is valueless because you did X when you should have done Y.

I say to that, doing the wrong thing has positioned you to now. do the right thing. Potential energy, right? Like a spring being pulled back tighter and tighter and tighter awaiting its opportunity to propel forward. You don't get that without those could-haves and should-haves. They're integral to the process. The reason you'll be different moving forward. You can say, I wish I'd taken more chances. I wish I was bolder. I wish I followed my heart. Two pieces of news for you.

One, that's fantastic. It seems as though you're now aware of those times you fell short and can therefore mitigate them moving forward. And two, you're not dead yet. We have to stop looking at yesterday like it's anything but a ladder to greater competence. The gymnasium for your deceit. decision-making. Anyone can cherry-pick the past. But the practical me asks, what does beating yourself up about what's gone do for you? What does it add to your life?

Except for enabling and legitimizing the same identity you're looking to evolve and move on from. See, we don't limit ourselves because of right now. It's always, because of yesterday. Look what happened. Look what I lost. Look how things turned out. And it's like take the data and trudge forward. You now have the tools to move right into that darkness of night.

And in five years you'll look back and sure you'll wish you did things differently. And same five years after that. But that's why life is a journey and not a standardized test. We are picking up the pieces as we go, painting the masterpiece one brushstroke at a time. And even though you might wish yesterday's brushstroke was a different color, a little darker, different shade, it's just as valid as all the others in contributing to the mural in its totality. So sure, be your greatest critic. But be your greatest ally as well.

And that calls for being bold enough to let go of what's gone. Extract the value from yesterday and use it to build now. Something, anything, that's up to you, but hear the message. It's up to you now. Not who you were yesterday or what you did. Not how people saw you or how you used to live your life. You have an opportunity now to go wherever your heart desires. Stronger and wiser at this point in time than you've ever been in your life.

So rather than dwell on what's gone, how about asking how you can take those pieces of yourself and build? Sometimes the inspiration doesn't come to you. No, sometimes you have to go. out and find it. When it hurts the most, when the deck seems stacked against you, when the road to travel seems to be longer than you can endure. These are the times we're tasked, not with waiting, but with creating. And those lows, they become highs because they force us to self-assess to look around and say, I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I'm done tolerating X, accepting Y, associating with Z, and so a bridge must be created to something. And your question is simply what's that something going to look like? Here's what's interesting. Knowing what you don't want is often the beginning. It breathes life into a first step. Maybe you look up and you have no idea what step 2,000 or 3,000 looks like and that's perfectly okay.

You don't need to know exactly where you're headed, exactly what the top of the mountain will look like. What took me forever to figure out is knowing that here isn't right for you, wherever here here is, is enough, because it is the beginning. The engine that makes it all work, you don't owe explanations, apologies aren't required of you. All you needed was that feeling in your stomach that more is out there and perhaps you've been depriving yourself of it for a tad too long. You just need to leave scarcity behind and train your eyes to find the abundance you exist with him. The other day I saw a quick interview Tiger Woods was giving. And I'm not really a big

golf guy, but when the greats talk, I listen. And those who have been following him know that he's had kind of a rocky past, right? A very public, you know, family situation to injuries surgery, a recent car accident. And you can only want someone like that to rise from the ashes, right? I feel like everyone's rooting for him to rediscover the dominance he once possessed. And basically in this interview, the interviewer's asking him about day one of the masters, where Tiger played well enough to make the cut. You know, he survived day one and was about to continue the tournament into the weekend,

but it certainly wasn't the best golf he's ever played. And so upon reflecting on it, he says, and I'm paraphrasing, things aren't the way I'd like them to feel. But I've given myself a chance. And I love the way that sounded. Not just because it came from a man who's been metaphorically battling uphill for what feels like sometime now,

but because it's how we all reemerged from our adversity. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. Your past, all of it, the ups and downs, the bumps and bruises, they've all brought you here. And if life is one giant tournament, you've made the cut. You get to play in your masters. Tomorrow is coming. And it brings with it the chance to write the ship. to discover the undiscovered, to find yourself again.

By showing up today, you've given yourself a chance, and that is the most powerful thing one can possess a chance. I think too often we look at what we don't have. We spend our time focusing on the holes, the blank spaces, the gaps. Instead of looking at the opportunity we've created, to pivot wherever we deem necessary. The flexibility is the asset, but only valuable when we recognize and utilize it. And yeah, that can feel like a tall order when we are not at our best,

when we're operating at a level that, let's say, is less than ideal. It's easy to see all the problems we're going through as supporting evidence that the world is bigger than us, that we are outmatched by life. But really, all these things that have come together to create our current state, there are nothing more than life providing you a chance, an opportunity to turn the page. You know, when Tiger, you know, those lows, those setbacks,

and perhaps even the personal anguish, one would assume would accompany those things, they've given him the gift of now. And he recognizes that. Just like everything that has paved the way for you has done the same. It's created the conditions from which you can now grow, further evolve. It's providing a little nudge towards those things we need to do, but maybe sometimes drag our feet a little too long.

So when the world throws you curveball, How about seeing this situation as a chance to hit off speed, to step up to the plate and make something of what we thought was misfortune? When one trades, it's happening to me, for it's happening for me, you're presented advantages that were previously unavailable. They weren't there. And not because they didn't exist. They weren't there because they weren't recognized.

Because perhaps you saw the very thing that could help you as the thing that would hurt you. But regardless, here you are. Sharpened by the mistakes you made and shaped by the lessons you learned, you are here. Not to relive the past, but to create a new reality, write a new chapter, walk a new path, You are here. And wherever next happens to be, let it unfold because you chose it. Let it evolve because it's who you are. Leave the stands and make your way to the stage.

We're sure the stakes are higher, but so is the upside. I often talk about the power of looking over our shoulders at those highs and lows from time to time. Not because they have power over us, but because they have made us powerful. Look at all you've endured. See all that you've overcome. And for what?

Well, to put it simply, for the gift currently at your fingertet. The chance to say years from now, That sure, you lost yourself. Things became chaotic, confusing, convoluted. Maybe you were unsure. Maybe at times you even felt alone. But those times, the same times that could have kept you down,

instead reminded you what you were capable of becoming. You don't get the light at the end of the tunnel without walking, through the darkness. And so to remember that, that all this has unfolded to bring about something beautiful on the other side, well, that just might be the perspective that you've needed, that you've left behind. The world will only give you what you ask for. And so right here, right now, instead of accepting a continuation of your past. How about demanding an evolution of yourself? That game of life awaits.

And so for your sake and the world, don't be afraid to play. There's a saying, don't worry about losing other people. Worry about losing yourself while trying to please other people. And see, holding on to our authentic selves not always easy. In fact, Emerson said to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

And that holds true. And especially in our fast-paced world, shiny objects constantly buzzing around us. Sometimes it seems like the only way to see with clarity is to keep our eyes closed. I was in the car the other day, had Spotify on Shuffle, and a Jason Aldine song came on. It's called Better at Being Who I Am. And it's essentially about a guy who loses himself in a relationship a little bit at a time. And the chorus is basically him sharing his epiphany, looking around and going, whoa, what the hell happened? And it was laid out in a way that wasn't sort of the obvious.

blatant, you know, be yourself. I mean, sure, part of the theme was how important being yourself is, but the emphasis was on how fragile of a thing that can be. He put a spotlight on the idea that he got good at forgetting he was in a place that he knew he didn't belong, how we can become masters of forgetting that, champions of rationalization. And that was his master.

being that he has somehow somewhere lost himself along the way. That concession after concession can ultimately put you in a place where you don't know who you are, where you can know something isn't quite right and still slowly and subtly it creeps in. It can consume your reality and that's what cut through me. not simply because it occurred. It wasn't so much the epiphany itself, but more so that he showed how easily the erosion of this self can occur in our lives, how easily we lose ourselves, how sneaky the whole thing can be.

And this particular example is pointing to a relationship with his girlfriend, and it certainly can be this. but it doesn't have to be, and often it's not. It can be a job you don't want to do, but hanging in there just one more day, turns into more days than you can count. It can be time with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing,

going against your best judgment. It can be the business decision for a short-term gain that ultimately points you in a direction you don't want to go, right? before giving life to that convenient phrase, well, I've come too far to turn back now. Life is like a small child, always gently tugging on his mom's sleeve

to get her to stop doing what she's doing and go get ice cream, right? It's the temptation to move away from the task at hand to abandon the principles just slightly, the objectives, just enough that they'll be pulled off track, right? That's always there. And to reiterate, because this nuance is why I think the idea is so important.

The message is not simply about being authentic. I think we all understand the value and necessity of authenticity, or at least I hope. Your value is in who you are. The things that make you unique are the gateway to a life of fulfillment. What makes you you? And how can you delve into that? Share it with the world. That's the good stuff.

So let's presume we know this. My fascination and goal is to point out the fact that so much around us is looking to take that authenticity and subtly, over time, transform it, that if we are not aware of what we are, we will lose who we are. And that's where you end up in those wrong relationships, wrong places, doing the wrong things. A lot of times it wasn't deliberate or conscious. It wasn't one swing of the axe. It was letting yourself slip away one day at a time. It's the pressure of an infinite number of things, right?

The billion choices you have pulling you in all different directions. It's the people in your life that may have different incentives than you. It's that deep biological tendency to want to appear like you're winning now. It's your brain telling you to do what the crowd does because the alternative creates pain. It's not wanting to let others down because you want to be their source of happiness, completely forgetting that an empty cup has nothing to offer.

It's the deception online. The highlight reels, filtered pictures, humble brags and exaggerated success stories, all prompting us to say, well, then I must have miscalculated. My path must be the wrong. wrong path. And maybe we don't come to this realization and immediately jump ship, but we take in a little water every day. Every time we open the app and feel lesser because of an impossible

standard, every time we put the thing that meant something to us on hold for someone else, every time we chase that shiny object in exchange for what we expect will be short-term validation. But here's the crazy part. It's like when I shut everything off, when it's just me and my thoughts, no distraction, I have a very good sense of who I am and what I want, just in my gut. I know what feels right to me. And it's only when the chaos comes in that the target can get blurry and the goal seems to live a little further away. And maybe that's why that song had an impact, why the light bulb went off.

The idea that something so obvious, so powerful, so important can allude us and deceive us. There's something to that. I'm better at being who I am. Of course I am. And so are you. So why don't we? Why isn't there an emphasis there? Why is that something that doesn't get our thought and attention?

We can't afford to forfeit that instinct. And so this is the part where I remind myself and everyone listening that you get nothing in life without some semblance of self-trust. You have to take the time to understand who you are and trust yourself to build that from the ground up. Without that, you'll get swept up by the currents of everyday life. But to know what matters in your world and to hold on to it with conviction, that's what it's all about. And then, yes, you'll have success letting people into your life. When they contribute to who you are as a person. When they align with your values, when they feel like wind on your sails.

And yeah, of course, take the proven paths and utilize the beneficial tactics, but only when they align with what you are building. If not, you know, walking away, is the best option wandering around until you find alignment. Now that brings more value than a toolbox of the wrong tools. And sure, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I get that. That's called being responsible.

But those things, as annoying as they are, should be contributing to something that does matter to you. The building's foundation is not fun or sexy, but it's necessary. Just make sure you believe in what will ultimately be built on top of it. Otherwise, you are most certainly wasting your time. Your gift is you. You have something to share, something to explore, nurture and grow. Stand in front of that, never hide behind it.

Protect it. It's the benchmark against which all other things should be measured. We're all better at being ourselves than some impersonation of what we think the world wants us to be. I think the question comes down to, will you allow that greatness for yourself? Will you be courageous enough to keep the spotlight on what matters most? Will you maintain the awareness that when you're walking down a path that doesn't align with who you want to be, you can self-correct? Turn around. Put emphasis on that part of you that lights you up. Because that will not only benefit you, but it will benefit everyone around you and ultimately benefit the world.