Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - CHANGE YOUR MINDSET | Powerful Motivational Speeches About Life | WAKE UP POSITIVE

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”- C. S. Lewis”

there's a connectedness that I want to call our attention to, a connecting of dots. Let's reverse engineer this simple idea, okay? Life's trajectory is most inclined to change in our biggest moments. It's the opportunities that come around once in a blue moon, when it's all on the line, the moments where we have to operate under tension. How do you perform when the lights are the brightest, when the outcome weighs heavy? We only get a few truly revolutionizing opportunities in life, and we must be our best in those moments. Okay, but how?

That's the million dollar question. As far as I'm concerned, the answer is in the mundane, the boring things. The answer is in repetition. of the tiny steps that stack up again and again and again. See, a lot of people can picture the big opportunities, right? A lot of people dream of having the ball in their hands down by one with three seconds left on the clock. But they're not at their gym.

They're not chipping away at their physique or their health. They're not studying the ins and outs of the game. Now, that stuff's boring. Just give me the ball with the game on the line, I'll figure it. out, right? Except that's not how the world works. My friends, as the saying goes, confidence is earned. I want to tell you about a wall in my studio, a blank wall. And as I've moved over the years, it's changed color, it's changed shape, but it's always been there. And it's heard me

speaking directly to it for thousands of hours at this point. It's seen me stand to up, put a rug in the center of the room, and talk to it like it was an audience at Gillette's stadium again and again and again. Not because it was fun. No, it was tedious and to be honest, sometimes annoying. But look, if we're reverse engineering those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, what I always knew was that I'd be ready because that one opportunity isn't really about that one opportunity. It's about all you've stacked up along the way, all you've built. It's enabling the mind when you walk on stage and the lights go on to think,

oh, this isn't special. This is just muscle memory. I've already paid the price. I've already won. I've already suffered, lost, learned, and grown. This is just where I collect my prize. And so my friends, I ask of you, what is your equivalent of my blank wall? Where are you creating those reps?

How are you building yourself up? So that when those fleeting opportunities do arrive, you don't get worked up. You don't ask anything of yourself that you're not equipped to give. You simply smile and think, I've earned this. This is who I am And now The world will finally See

A word we throw around all the time is difficult How difficult will the journey be How hard is it going to be to succeed This is more or less asking Is a desirable outcome likely We're asking if it's worth our time Right if something's difficult we associate that with the low probability of success,

but that's not the right way of looking at it. If you want something enough, difficult becomes your best friend. It's your greatest asset. And this is one, because of the growth that comes with it, but two, because very few people are willing to chase it down. The reality is, most people are average. And that's just looking at the definition of the word.

Right, if everyone was great, greatness wouldn't mean anything. something special about it. It's unique. It sets people apart. We generally live amongst people, places, and expectations that make up everything we know. That's our normal. That's our box. But what's particularly interesting is that the people we celebrate, the accomplishments we admire, they go far beyond this sort of confined view of the world. So where is the line? Something's weird, it's abnormal, it's looked down upon, until suddenly it's not. You snap your finger and it's cherished. That guitar player practicing 15 hours a day, it's lame, they don't have a real job,

they're not contributing anything to society, and then he or she puts out an album that revolutionizes music, and they're a hero. The whole thought process is counterintuitive, and that's why the words difficult and great are so closely related. Not because it's physically stressful, but because great comes with a hefty mental price tag. Difficult means you are consistently doing what the average, normal, and unspectacular deemed to be too great a sacrifice. They're not asking if it can be done. They're not asking if it's possible.

What they are really asking, what they want to know is if they have to break through everyday normality, to achieve a result. Do we have to make ourselves uncomfortable? Do we have to give more than we normally would? Do we have to be better than we were yesterday? If that answer is yes, the vast majority say thank you, but no thank you. And that's where defining opportunities open up. Great means you had the desire to set yourself apart.

Difficult means you have the dedication and the drive to do the little things no one else wanted to do. There is nothing miraculous about greatness. It is not divine. It is not incredible. It's simply seeing the word difficult as a staircase instead of a brick wall. It means you get the opportunity to both give more of yourself and get more from the world. It is your secret door, your passageway. If the incremental progress, the growth and the sacrifice are worth the prize,

easy, difficult, and everything in between fades away. The only thing worth the second of your time is making sure that every step you take point you in the direction of where you want to be most. Relax, you're here. That's a clever little sign hanging above the sidewalk, right at the border where Pompano Beach turns into Loderdale by the sea. And as it turns out, that spot is almost directly in the middle, one of my favorite running routes.

Almost exactly halfway. Which at first I found kind of annoying, being that, no, I was not where I wanted to be or intended to be. And no, I certainly could not relax. The heat and the sun and the miles to go always begged to differ, right? False advertising. It was not in fact here. After all, here in this context suggests one has arrived, and how can arrival feel like missing pieces and unknowns?

How can it feel like so far to go? In the valley of despair, can one really be here? But the more and more I took that route, the more the little sign became a landmark in and of itself. Something that I looked forward to, its own little destination, a point in which I could both look over my shoulder and realize how far I've come, as well as find reassurance for the journey ahead. It was a manufacturer pat on the back, a change in narrative, because here's the deal.

It's easy to feel lost in the middle. It just is. It's easy to feel empty-handed after days or months or years. it's easy to fall into the trap of never enough. But if you step back and adjust your perspective, you see it for exactly what it is. A beautiful process. Here doesn't have to be the predetermined destination.

Here can be the culmination of all the steps it took you to arrive at the now. Here can be the lessons learned along the way, can be the reassurance that while you're not done, you've overcome every obstacle up until this point, and there's no reason to think you won't continue that pattern moving forward. So relax. You're here. Perhaps here being a place of trust.

The ability to look in the mirror, and sure, see your opportunity areas, but way more importantly, see your brilliance. Your tenacity, your courage, after all, when armed with those traits, it doesn't matter where you're dropped off at or placed. There's no finish line that's too far away, no mountaintop that's beyond you.

Where you end up in the game of life will be directly correlated to the level of trust you have in yourself to play. So relax. You're here. Maybe here being that point where you can make the leap you've always wanted to make. Where you can feel confident that the unknowns don't stop you, they inspire you, where you see the past as proof that your limitations exist, only where you decide they do. And here is not a wall or a barrier, but a springboard to the next great adventure. where you find that spark of inspiration to push against life and see what comes back.

To test the waters, ride the wave, that self-identified beginning that lights a fire in your soul. So relax, you're here. Maybe here being the point where you realize you've been selling yourself just a little bit short. where the image of yourself that you've created in your head is lacking. The metaphorical shoes you've been wearing have been outgrown. And here is where you change them for something that better suits you. Where you make a contract with yourself to endure the growing pains and the discomfort, where you willingly pick up the pace.

In exchange for that adrenaline rush associated with leveling, up, the excitement of the wind on your face, the increased speed opening up your mind to the realization that you haven't even scratched the surface with regard to your potential. That alone is a gift. So relax. You're here. Maybe here is a reminder to simply enjoy the now. to stop thinking only about what's down the road and look around.

To realize that the future is just a fantasy about what might come. In the past is a retelling of stories that have already occurred, making your experience on this planet only right now. A culmination of right now is stacking up to comprise your entire life, and while the destination is the purpose that pulls you through. The very idea of a destination is essentially trading a current right now for a future one. So maybe look around and enjoy what you have.

Appreciate the moment in all its glory. Relax. You're here. See, whatever here means to you, it's essential that know even in the heart of the storm, the chaos of battle mid-journey, that you have everything you need. Not just to survive, but to adjust and re-examine, to identify what means the most to you and follow that like your life depends on it.

Relax, you are here. being the inflection point that separates the past from the future, that cuts your negative self-talk and those self-imposed limitations down to the nothings that they are. For me, that sign and its message have become a reminder of the duality of life. The tightrope, that I have to walk between chasing down the dreams that pull me out of bed every morning and simultaneously cherishing the moments that comprise the journey. Sure, it's the halfway point of my run and sure I have ways to go. Sure, celebrating now would be counterproductive, but breathe in.

Look what I get to do. Look where I am. Look what I have. They say we live not for the destination, but the journey, and I think that's right. I think in a way the finish line might just be the excuse we give in order to experience the steps that take us there. It's the chase, the pursuit, and so relax, you are here, reminds me that I'm in the thick of the good stuff.

Ed Helms, at a commencement speech, quotes his character from the office, Andy Bernard, as saying, I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you've actually left them. Well, this might just be that reminder. Grow to something you've yet to become, but with everything you have, appreciate who you are now. Respect that finish line, but cherish the race. When the time comes, and we've reached the end of our days reflecting back, I think there are Two successes that I'll identify as I'm reminiscing. First, I don't want to look back and feel regret for a lack of courage.

I don't want to wish that I'd been bolder in pursuit of my dreams. No, I want to accomplish the unthinkable, capture the unobtainable. But second, I also don't want, when reflecting back, to realize that I never looked around and enjoyed the ride. that I didn't know what I had the entire time. That when things felt like a lot, I forgot that a lot was in and of itself a gift. So when the pressures of life seem to consume us, the expectations overwhelm us, the story disappoints us. Let's find the time to pause, take a breath, and relax because it just might be life's

way of telling us, we're here. I was once told that to become who you might be, you have to walk away from what you are. That maybe I couldn't see it at the time. But somewhere, locked away in the depths of my soul, existed the spark. The flicker of light that would change everything. All I had to do was find it. Those footsteps, they define your destiny. A symphony that becomes your soundtrack, wind for your sails.

They are the song that will guide your journey. In your pockets, they can be empty if your heart is full. The book can be unwritten if you hold. hold the pen, the path can be unclear if you just trust yourself. This is the lens that illuminates your world. And when you fall, promise to get back up. When you feel misplaced, remember that getting lost is how you find yourself. When you're scared, know that it's darkest before the dawn.

the stairs that will take you higher. Tired is not defeated. Wandering is not lost. Vulnerability is not weakness. Mistakes are not defining. Hardship is not a deterrent. These are pages in the story you're writing. And it's the story of a lifetime.

So pull back the curtains. Dance in the moonlight, sing at the top of your lungs, so that every soul from here to infinity ignites. Life is too short to miss a moment, too beautiful to overlook, and here you are, with a map, a key, and a horizon waving you on. So follow it. The airwaves past the mountains beyond the desert. Follow it until your legs are weak and your eyes wide.

Let it be the song that carries you home. This is the story of a lifetime. There's a saying, don't worry about losing other people. worry about losing yourself while trying to please other people. And see, holding on to our authentic selves not always easy.

In fact, Emerson said to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And that holds true. And especially in our fast-paced world, shiny objects constantly buzzing around us. Sometimes it seems like the only

way to see with clarity is to keep our eyes closed. I was in the car the other day, had Spotify on shuffle, and a Jason Aldean song came on. It's called Better at Being Who I Am. And it's essentially about a guy who loses himself in a relationship a little bit at a time. And the chorus is basically him sharing his epiphany, looking around and going, whoa, what the hell? happened. And it was laid out in a way that wasn't sort of the obvious, blatant, you know, be yourself. I mean, sure, part of the theme was how important being yourself is, but the emphasis was on how fragile of a thing that can be. He put a spotlight on the idea that he got good at forgetting he was in a place that he knew he didn't belong, how we can become master.

of forgetting that, champions of rationalization. And that was his message, being that he has somehow somewhere lost himself along the way. That concession after concession can ultimately put you in a place where you don't know who you are, where you can know something isn't quite right and still slowly and subtly it creeps in. It can consume your own.

reality, and that's what cut through me. Not simply because it occurred. It wasn't so much the epiphany itself, but more so that he showed how easily the erosion of the self can occur in our lives, how easily we lose ourselves, how sneaky the whole thing can be. And this particular example is pointing to a relationship with his girlfriend, and it certainly can be. It certainly can be. this. But it doesn't have to be, and often it's not. It can be a job you don't want to do, but hanging in there just one more day turns into more days than you can count. It can be time with the wrong people, doing the wrong thing, going against your best judgment. It can be the business decision for short-term gain that ultimately points you in a direction you don't

want to go, right, before giving life to that convenient phrase, well, I've come too far to turn back now. Life is like a small child, always gently tugging on his mom's sleeve to get her to stop doing what she's doing and go get ice cream, right? It's the temptation to move away from the task at hand, to abandon the principles just slightly, the objectives, just enough that they'll be pulled off track, right? That's always there. And to reiterate, because this nuance is why I think the idea is so important. The message is not simply about being authentic. I think we all understand the value and necessity of authenticity, or at least I hope. Your value is in who you are. The things that make you unique are the gateway to a life of fulfillment. What makes you

you and how can you delve into that? Share it with the world. That's the good stuff. Okay, so let's presume we know this. My fascination and goal is to point out the fact that so much around us is looking to take that authenticity and subtly, over time, transform it, that if we are not aware of what we are, we will lose who we are. And that's where you end up in those wrong relationships, wrong places, doing the wrong things. A lot of times it wasn't deliberate or conscious. It wasn't one swing of the axe. It was letting yourself slip away one day at a time.

It's the pressure of an infinite number of things, right? The billion choices you have pulling you in all different directions. It's the people in your life that may have different incentives than you. It's that deep biological, tendency to want to appear like you're winning now. It's your brain telling you to do what the crowd does because the alternative creates pain. It's not wanting to let others down because you want to be their source of happiness, completely forgetting that an empty cup has nothing to offer. It's the deception online. The highlight reels, filtered pictures, humble brags

and exaggerated success stories, all prompting us to say, well, then I must have miscalculated. My path must be the wrong path. And maybe we don't come to this realization and immediately jump ship, but we take in a little water every day. Every time we open the app and feel lesser

because of an impossible standard, every time we put the thing that meant something to us on hold for someone else. Every time we chase that shiny object in exchange for what we expect will be short-term validation. But here's the crazy part. It's like when I shut everything off,

when it's just me and my thoughts, no distraction, I have a very good sense of who I am and what I want, just in my gut. I know what feels right to me. And it's only when the chaos comes in that the target can get blurry and the goal seems to live a little further away.

And maybe that's why that song had an impact, why the light bulb went off. The idea that something so obvious, so powerful, so important can elude us and deceive us. There's something to that. I'm better at being who I am. Of course I am. And so are you. So why don't we? Why isn't there an emphasis there?

Why is that something that doesn't get our thought and attention? We can't afford to forfeit that instinct. And so this is the part where I remind myself and everyone listening that you get nothing in life without some semblance of self-trust. You have to take the time to understand who you are and trust yourself to build that from the ground up. Without that, you'll get swept up by the currents of everyday life. But to know what matters in your world and to hold on to it with conviction, that's what it's all about.

And then, yes, you'll have success letting people into your life. When they contribute to who you are as a person. When they align with your values, when they feel like wind on your sails. And yeah, of course, take the proven paths and utilize the beneficial tactics, but only when they align with what you are building. If not, walking away is the best option, wandering around until you find alignment. That brings more value than a toolbox of the wrong tools.

And sure, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. I get that. That's called being responsible, but those things, as annoying as they are, should be contributing to something that does matter. to you. The building's foundation is not fun or sexy but it's necessary. Just make sure you believe in what will ultimately be built on top of it. Otherwise you are most certainly wasting your time. Your gift is you. You have something to share, something

to explore, nurture and grow. Stand in front of that, never hide behind it, protect it. It's the benchmark against which all other things should be measured. We're all better at being ourselves than some impersonation of what we think the world wants us to be. I think the question comes down to, will you allow that greatness for yourself? Will you be courageous enough to keep the spotlight on what matters most? Will you maintain the awareness that when you're walking down a path that doesn't align with who you want to be, you can self-correct.

Turn around. Put emphasis on that part of you that lights you up. Because that will not only benefit you, but it will benefit everyone around you and ultimately benefit the world. There's something to the idea or act of stepping out of the limelight to work on your soul. to quote unquote disappear for a particular period of time so that with a laser-like focus you're able to build and develop the skills that will make you great at what it is you want to do. In a sense, we're not created out in the world as much as we're created by what we do behind the scenes.

The thousands of hours spent dedicating ourselves to a craft. We enhance our value and capability by doing the often monotonous, unglamorous things day in and day out, and those results out in the world are merely a reflection of that work. And that's what makes excelling in any given area so challenging. There's something counterintuitive about performing to an audience of one. dancing to no applause, exhausting time, and energy, resources, so that you can cling to a promise. But that's also why excellence will always be reserved for a few.

Open to everyone, but ultimately a few end up there, right? The same way a finish line is open to everyone, but ultimately reserved only for those willing to put in the hundreds if not thousands of practice miles to start the race, run the race, and complete the race. There's a substantial amount of sacrifice involved. The outside world is its own chess game.

It requires courage and innovation and a willingness to step into its great unknown. But ideally, in doing so, one would be armed with the competency they've acquired when no one is looking. It's a result of their own dedication and commitment. And I actually started thinking about this during a Q&A I did recently, where someone asked if I had any thoughts on how they could start a speaking career.

I'm like, happy to give my thoughts. First and foremost, understand it's a long play. So be willing to endure that bumpy road, that journey. There's no magic formula that makes you an MLK-esque order overnight, right? You work forever to capture a fragment of that excellence. And someone kind of chimed in, given me a hard time. You know, we know, we know, Eddie, you hate marketing. And I'm like, marketing.

It took me a second to connect the dots. How is this related? And the light bulb went off. And I kind of laughed because I do bash marketing quite a bit. And I think what they were getting to is I'm always talking about the long game. I'm always talking about working on yourself, the back end, the deep work, chiseling yourself into something that's unique, authentically you, extraordinary in its own right. Or being so good as the saying goes, they can't ignore you. But at the same time, it would be pretty ridiculous and stupid for me to say marketing is not important.

Marketing's pivotal. Engrained in some capacity in everything we touch, you have to be able to effectively. communicate why something is valuable, obviously. But I think there is a misconception and genuine misunderstanding in today's day and age with regard to adding value, with regard to rising to the top of a niche or making an impact. You know, we see flashy posts and ads and videos and think, ah, that's the target. But that's just the mechanism for communication. That's the bullhorn. That's not the value ad.

In Cal Newport's deep work, he mentions how difficult it's becoming for us to break away from the social media and the push notifications and the emails and in solitude do the kind of work that really moves the needle. That propels our greatness and makes us better at what it is we're looking to be great at. officially exist in a world of distraction. Where perhaps the greatest challenge now is how do we disconnect? How do we turn off? How do we slip into a state of deep work so that we can grow as people? And then, sure, you market that competency once it's acquired. But the goal is not to be a society screaming into a void trying to sell

boxes of error. We simply can't afford to leave substance behind. Value is ultimately what makes the world go round, and it's created, again, outside of the limelight. And look, there's going to be some bias to my approach based on the path that I chose to take. This has worked for me, so I stand by it. I advocate for it. And surely there are some very talented people that disagree with me, and that's great. But I've always had the arrow pointed at what I want to do, what I want all this to mean at 45 years old, 55 years old.

And right now, looking back, it's all the hours I spent writing in solitude, or giving speeches to a wall in a studio apartment, recording and re-recording, adjusting my approach. It's reps, reps, reps, that to me is what, matters now. That's what I'm most thankful for. And some time is past and as I transition into a new phase now, sure, I can get help and start blasting posts all over social media. That's easy. But the important thing is that I have a foundation to stand on. The posts are not the product,

the craft is the product. And I want everyone to at least, whether they agree with me or not, understand that distinction. The million dollars. question, the differentiator is what is your value at? If you can ask yourself that, right, what is the one thing I want to be the best in the world at? Where is my North Star? And then spend every day, at least some time every day chipping away at that, you'll be unstoppable, but truly chipping away. Not feeling the need to share every detail with an audience or capture every second of what you're building behind the scenes. Now, turn the cameras off, breathe, focus.

Be private for at least a portion of your day. I think you'll find in that space this beautiful opportunity to reflect and build and step into an evolved version of yourself. Don't be scared to disappear and come back better equipped. Don't be hesitant to go work on yourself. If you're talking substantive impact, true value add, it's always the people willing to put in the hours. To do the things that most people are not willing to do, target, identify the areas that make the difference, and then hammer those repeatedly.

And look, I get it. You have to, in a lot of cases, give up some of the now in order to reach an ambitious goal in the future. It's a trade-off. It's hard. But life is about trade-offs. And maybe this message isn't for everyone. But if you're listening to this and you want to achieve some semblance of excellence

in a given area, it's inescapable. It means falling in love with the pursuit that's time-intensive. It means showing up and putting in the hours often for little short-term validation. It means solitude, because getting better is more important than attention. One of my favorite quotes is confidence is earned. Will you earn that confidence by showing up and committing to the things that truly matter that make you stronger?

Sometimes we must step back to leap forward, disappear as we are in order to reappear as we wish to be. Real work happens when no one is around you. Can you trust yourself enough to bet on that process? Believe in that road, in that journey. If yes, you'll position yourself for opportunities and experiences that exceed your wildest imagination. The other day I woke up with the plan. Three things I had to do.

So I wrote them on my whiteboard. They were essentially my objectives for the day. But it ended up being one of those days where things didn't unfold the way I anticipated. And for a variety of reasons, curveball after curveball, with some sloppy decision-making sprinkled in there. Eventually, morning became afternoon. Afternoon became evening. I found myself exhausted.

And looking up at a whiteboard, that was showing me I had accomplished none of the things listed. And I hate that feeling. Having clear objectives and not meeting them. And so after dinner, I got a phone call, and I found myself talking about how I fell short, getting it all off my chest, letting it all out there. And I got that reassurance that I wanted,

without even realizing that I wanted it, right? The voice said back to me, Eddie, this happens. It's not a big deal. in the grand scheme of things, no one's perfect. You put a lot of pressure on yourself. Tomorrow's a new day, right? That type of thing and it's like, okay, exhale, time for bed. And the next morning, I was outside relaxing, doing some thinking, and came to this point.

And you'll see how these dots connect here in a second. But essentially, I see life as a staircase, right? where we thrust ourselves out into discomfort, into chaos, and then amidst the storm, we're forced to grow. We step into shoes. We were once unable to fill. And what was once bigger than us is now normal. It's every day.

It's ordinary because we fought for it. We pushed ourselves through. That's evolution. But now, guess what? That old ceiling has become the floor. It's time to evolve. It's time for that next step in the staircase.

Time to thrust ourselves back into the chaos of life so that we can again tame something bigger than us. Take the next intimidating thing and make it commonplace. And as I sat there outside thinking, I found myself to be at that next step, ready to leap out again. into the tumultuous winds of life. But this time it felt different. There's an intersection, and I talk about it often, of doing what adds value to the world and doing what makes you content personally.

Okay, I think where those two things meet is peak living. That's where the magic happens. And I'm fortunate enough that these thoughts, speeches, episodes, videos, whatever you want to call them, on some days, literally reach over 200,000 people, and that's not meant to be a humble brag or anything like that. It's just to me so incredible that I can't process it, right? I get emotional thinking about it.

My dream is to add value to other people, provide that little lift that might help someone look at their own problems differently, maybe see a path when before they were unable to. That's what it's all about. And then, in addition to that, a parallel track, on a personal level, feeling like I'm growing and evolving as well, constantly stepping up those stairs one by one,

having the courage to continue fighting those unknowns and making sense of life's complexities. That's why so many of you are on this journey with me. And so as I looked up at that next step, and it felt bigger than it ever had before, I knew the task needed to be bigger than it's ever been, which would require of me one of the biggest changes I've ever made, and that scared me to death, knowing that in order for something to be born, something must die. Something must be left behind. I'd been stepping forward for years and thank God for that, but now

it was time for a leap. And so back to that whiteboard I mentioned earlier. If you hang in with me long enough, I usually come full circle. Right, back to the list of goals I miss, the bad day. Why am I so fixated on that? Well, it has nothing to do with the day itself. Everyone swings and misses from time to time. It has nothing to do with those three goals.

Everyone falls short here and there. That's part of life. It's about the person I want to be as I endure those turbulent times. It's about the strength to handle my own chaos and battles differently. Before you can lead others, you need to lead yourself. And that means being vulnerable. It means being honest. It means looking in the mirror and asking yourself the tough questions.

It means being stronger. than I've ever been. There will be times that require of me that I push forward without having to hear from my parents or girlfriend or buddies that everything's all right. The next step requires that I trust myself to be the guy in my own life.

To have impact in the world, one must find strength within themselves where they didn't know it existed. This is a leveling up that I know is required for me to be more than I've ever been, stronger, bolder, more confident when I'm most fearful.

There was a line I used to draw separating me and the people I look up to. And the moment for me was a message. I knew it was time for me to mentally remove that line. you'll never be more than you envision yourself to be. It was time to be my own answer. Promote myself to that next level. From the kid with the dream to the man that makes it happen, it's time.

It's just simply time. Even the ones I love, the ones closest to me, they can't provide that. Has to be internally derived from a place so deep that come hell or high water. It's happening. And telling people about my little miss. fortunes so that they can pat me on the head and tell me things are great. That's antithetical to what is required of me next. There is a level of courage and strength and excellence in all of us that lives at the bottom of this abyss that we must pull up with everything we have

until it becomes intertwined with who we are and where we're headed. And as I sat there, I knew it to be true. I couldn't help but feel that change was about to happen and it would stem directly from how I see myself. It would be the product of who I knew myself to be. And so now, most importantly, I present this question to you.

Are you at that next step? Are you looking at a chasm that must be crossed? were all your little decisions, all the courage and discipline and strength that you utilized to get here that has positioned you for this moment is it telling you something is next? Is it time to dig deeper

and be more than you have ever in your life been? In my example, by the way, was not about holding in our problems or dismissing those around us. Asking for help and we need help is courage. The small circle we surround ourselves with is a direct reflection of who we are. No, for me it was about being the type of person who trust myself to weather those storms. About moving with greater conviction.

Graduating from going to be to is currently. That whiteboard, that phone call was the turning point and nothing more. And my example may fit your life like a glove. You may think, wow, that's exactly the lens I need right now. But maybe it's not. Maybe your situation is a little different. Maybe the road you're on is newer, less traveled. Maybe it's the courage to take that first step, to play the student.

Perfect. Because whatever it is, as you look up at that next step, what matters is that you know, in your heart and soul that you have what it takes to become that person. It's not bigger than you, it is you. Someone once told me that the world will not believe it until you do. So believe. Believe it like your dreams depend on it because as it turns out they do. As it turns out everything about your future is make believe

until you breed life into it. Look around you at your current reality. Remember that it is a product of what you've allowed and that at any time you can up the ante. Climb the step, reach a new level. You have it within yourself to do that. Just give yourself permission to be that person. And it will be scary.

It's going to hurt. hurt at times, but let's be that vulnerable. Let's show the world what we can create when we move into it as though it's ours. As though destiny isn't assigned but written one beautiful act of courage at a time. I made it part of my morning routine to go outside, have a cup of coffee and listen to this app that gives you basically 15-minute summaries of books. It kind of randomizes it for me. And this morning, the one that came on was called How to Talk to Anyone.

And there was a part that really stuck out to me, talked about being methodical about who you interact with, particularly in a social setting. The idea being that you don't need to be some type of polished politician to be able to navigate a party or work a room. and it goes into, you know, planning, the idea like eating before the gathering or parties, so while you're there, you can focus on connecting with the people you want to connect with, getting the most out of your time there, that type of thing makes sense. But the line or the way it was summed up that really got me was, in that situation, be the chooser, not the choice. pretty powerful framing there, right?

Think about how often when we don't ask ourselves what an ideal ending is, what we want, and we simply show up and go with the flow, we're actually forfeiting our ability to shape the outcome of the evening.

It's instead going to be shaped by the people who do have a preference and act accordingly. In other words, we're willingly signing up to be a part of their plan. We're signing on to be the choice and not, as the passage says, the chooser. Like so many things, you know, you can take a single idea or concept from one area and pointed at something else, right?

It applies across the board. How many places in our lives are we just going along without any visualized outcome or goal? In what areas are we showing up to the metaphorical gathering with no ideal outcome in mind? Hoping the right people come to us. The right things appear to us. And of course, life is messy. No plan's going to be perfect.

But there's plenty of truth to that old saying, you can't hit a target that you haven't created. That isn't there. And if you don't take the wheel in these little segments of your life, you can't then be disappointed when things don't happen, when the car doesn't go where you wanted it to go. No, the one holding the wheel will determine that.

Now, let's be real, identifying what you want and pursuing it is definitely more challenging, right? It takes more effort and sacrifice. It's emotionally taxing. Because now there's something at stake. But you also position yourself to now get something worthwhile out of the situation. A situation that you otherwise would have had very little control over, right?

I've referenced a few times my eighth grade teacher telling us never to hold our hands up to the sky. And he would clasp his hands together to make this little bowl and hold them out. But he'd say never just hold them out and hope something falls into them. As the saying goes, hope is not a strategy. And I think there are different levels to this for sure. It's one thing to never think about what you want in life at all. It's another thing to walk into a party and snack on the pretzels instead of connecting with someone, right? They're very different.

But when we understand that underneath both of them, underneath all of it, the same principle applies. We can at least recognize where they're happening in our lives, some small, some bigger and perhaps more important. layers to a cake. But why wouldn't it always be beneficial to ask yourself, one, what matters and two, what can I do to bring me closer to what matters? At least then you're cognizant. I think often the greatest opportunities lost are lost simply because we're not aware of them.

So if we make ourselves aware and we miss the opportunity, let's make sure we missed it because we looked it in the eye and chose no. We met that additional layer of resistance and still said no thank you, right? There's intentionality to it. I remember reading Darren Hardy's book, The Compound Effect, and he's someone that is apparently incredibly meticulous

about everything he does, to the point where he would write out a description for his future significant other. Like if it were a dream world, the exact person he was hoping to see, spend the rest of his life with, from her eye color, hair, what she enjoyed doing, all that stuff. And, you know, it goes to show you the difference a few years can make. The first time I read that, I thought, well, that's way too extreme. I skipped right over it.

Now I look at that and I'm like, yeah, he's just creating an ideal so that in the real tangible world, he can put himself in the best position to attract that person. He's creating a goal. Otherwise, what's the alternative? You just kind of walk around and hope someone appears around a corner someday who aligns with you and what you want and your interests and it's rolling dice. There's just too many variables in life to constantly be wishing or crossing your fingers, leaving things up to chance or fate.

There has to be some general sense of direction. And I've had this kind of miniature epiphany in many aspects of my life. For example, you know, business, I've been asked, but what do you want it to look like the next five years? It used to be, well, five years a long time away. Do I really need to know? And it's like, if you don't know, then what are you doing today? You're just repeating what you've always done? Are you acting randomly? And hoping it takes you somewhere that will make you happy down the road? No, you have a vision. And as Bezos has said, you hold the vision and you continually adjust the process.

Again, life is messy. Things will change five million times and that's okay, but there's a better chance good things will happen to you if you identify what they are and seek them out. Even smaller example, Boston, my home, I lived there, I love the people there. But, you know, five years ago, I was at a point where my work was remote, my team was remote. So rather than simply endure, you know, November to June every year, I ask myself, well, what's my ideal life? style like. What if I design around that? Why not move somewhere that really excites me? Now I can run in the heat in January in Miami. That's not a small thing in my life. That makes me a lot happier. And so it's little things like that. You know, you get the point from the big things to the tiny details. If you don't choose what you want or choose your path, life will simply choose it for you.

And that may or may not be in line with what makes you happen. Or the idea, as many of us have heard in a different way, if you don't pursue your dreams, you will undoubtedly spend your days working to help someone else build theirs. Without you taking control, taking initiative, life will, and you will become a pawn on the chessboard of life. So ask the questions. You know, look in the mirror and delve into the act.

aspirations of the person looking back at you. From social events, sure, to your significant other, to your work or business, to your overall life goal. What matters to you? In these various arenas of your life, what does success look like? What does fulfillment feel like? And once you have that blueprint in your mind, you are now on the road to ensure that. its construction. The construction not of a world you were given, but of a world you chose.