Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - CHOOSE YOUR HARD | Speeches To Start Your Day Right

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

you are always one decision away from a totally different life.... YouTube: youtube.com/yourworldwithin  

The goal is to make your dreams envy your reality. It's to create a life for yourself that is bold, that is adventurous. See, most leave the best things for their imagination. Their ideal world comes to life when they shut the lights off, put their head on the pillow, and close their eyes. But see, imagine. I'm asking something different of you. I'm asking that you have the courage to wake up.

And from the second that light moves through your window and infiltrates your bedroom, understand that the best things of life are on their way in this plane of existence. I'm asking you not to save your dreaming for sleep, not to save your wishing for the amount wishing for the imaginary. Well, that's a big ask.

Easier said than done, buddy. Oh, I know. I know it's not easy, right? There's an idea that's changed the way I think about life. It's simple. Three words, choose your heart. Because pursuing a meaningful life is hard. Let's be real.

It crushes the ego. That's hard. It's humbling. It's hard. It's uncertain and at times uncomfortable. It's confusing. It's certainly frustrating. It's all of those things.

Creating a life on your terms is hard. But you know what else is hard? Allowing beauty to be nocturnal. Allowing everything that matters to you, everything that's important, your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, allowing all that to dissipate as the sun comes up and I've been there. I've played that game and let me tell you nothing is harder. Nothing is harder than knowing you are on a path that's not yours, doing things you don't love, all because why, you're scared. Carrying that around is hard. At the end of the day, life is

short. It's fleeting. An inconceivable little sliver of time presented to you. Not so you can create a cell and confine yourself to it, but so that you can take those imagined thoughts and dreams and ideas and implement them. Look in the mirror. But really look. Look into the eyes of that person staring back at you deeply. And understand that in there there is a strength that's inconceivable. A strength able to completely reimagine and re-imagined.

rearrange reality as you know it. And sure, that's a big statement. But the architect inside of you waiting to emerge and evolve is bigger. And yeah, the world around you is great. But your courage is greater. And so while they open their eyes and say goodbye to their dreams, I beg of you. Wake up and say hello to yours. Greet it with an outstretched hand.

With conviction. Choose your difficult and forge something beautiful in its flames. Arm yourself with the reassurance that you left life's limitations behind you and you left no dreaming for sleep. No, you had the courage to change. your world while you were. Someone once told me that no one further along than you will ever try and bring you down. That it's the people who see you pursuing your dream and are reminded that they've given up on theirs that usually make the most noise. And knowing this essentially invalidates all criticism. Who cares? It's the metaphorical dog nipping at your ankles. One,

it's to be expected and two often best ignored. The question is, are you able to separate it out as just part of the process? Can you ignore all that stuff that's sort of hovering around you as you walk your path? Or do you let it in? Do you personalize it? Do you make it bigger than it is? Imagine a world where you protected dearly that things, you let into your mind.

You understood that things don't happen to you, they merely happen. And you get to choose what they'll mean. Imagine if you lived with enough conviction to do what excited you, what felt right, knowing that, sure, some folks might have something to say, but that's just a tiny variable in the great play of life. It's rain on a summer day. You pick up the umbrella and you carry on. It's hard to describe.

But we never really understand how little these social variables will mean until some time has gone by. I often think about being younger in caring so much, right, as a kid about being quote unquote cool or uncool. I didn't say where or do certain things because, you know, fitting in was so important. I cared what my friends or classmates might think. We all did, right? And looking back now, it's like, what would I tell that version of me? It's pretty easy and pretty clear now, actually, as years have passed. I'd say, do what feels right.

Well, we often fail to realize is that that very same concept applies to the present day. The things that feel big now probably aren't. Right? There are little details masquerading as life or death decisions. Just like they were when I had to have, you know, that Power Ranger backpack or my life would be over. It's fear of judgment. But I learn again and again what really matters, you know, was I good to the people around me. Did I do what mattered to me?

And did I do it with conviction? I think it can be that simple. Hold tightly the meaningful things. Don't let the other noise infiltrate your peace. In early 2020, I decided I'd go to North Carolina for a little bit. And I wasn't exactly sure how long, but I knew that I needed to go. It felt right. I had a friend up there, some work I wanted to do up there.

And so basically, I got rid of so many things I owned that what was left fit into my little two-door Cadillac. That's not a lot of things. You know, spend some time. up there, enjoyed it, got a lot done. When it was time to go back to Florida, you know, I'm planning my trip and I realized, oh my God, I have a U-Haul full of things. Having a little place to stay, right, eating basic things, some cheap furniture, some technology, not because it was intentional, but because it was unintentional, right? Because when you don't pay attention, our natural inclination is to pick unnecessary things up. I think our personalize, I think our personal

lives are similar. We collect things without protecting the core that matters most, allowing life to ultimately become so cluttered that we can't differentiate. How can you tell what's important when you have a U-Haul full of things? What's important when you let too much into your life? You end up with shelf space for the opinions of those who wouldn't even come by and visit if you were in the hospital. The words of people who don't have your best interest at heart. The fears of what could go wrong. The ego not allowing vulnerability.

These things have no teeth when life is simple. Protecting your world is one of the most powerful things you can do. Being the gatekeeper for your mind is strength. Criticism, haters, skeptics. It's not that these things don't exist. It's that they will fall around. you like rain as you move on to better things. You don't stop because of them just like you don't go because of them. You simply exist with and move alongside them. You understand why they're

there. But you don't give them the luxury of infiltrating your inner peace. You do not let them in. Your world within is precious. And as you navigate the external world, we have to choose wisely. what gets permitted. The Rose said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in. Probably an astute observation as most death is potential put to rest. Most stories

were stories about what could have been. Perhaps simply because it's easier on the ego to talk about what life could have looked like if you cared enough to shape it, then to have actually put skin in the game and fallen short. But there lies the misconception. To step into life's chaos with the hopes of taming it is why we're here. And yeah, obviously it hurts to fail. It hurts to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there.

especially when it seems as though all eyes are on you. But that hurt is a fraction of the hurt the road describes. Falling hurts, but it hurts less than wishing you had the courage to fall. Ridicule, it hurts. But it hurts less than being the one on the sidelines, pointing the finger. and simultaneously longing for the courage to take action in their own life. What keeps us from going? What keeps us from building?

We know life is short. We know regret is the ultimate pain. We know how much opportunity is out there. So why? Why would we not go? Why would we designate dreaming to sleep? In his famous man in the arena speech, Teddy Roosevelt said this. It is not the critic who counts.

Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errors and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming. But who knows the great enthusiasms,

the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at worst if he fails, At least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. No one who is content in their own life will go out of their way to bring you now. There was never a critic deeply immersed in their own journey who took the time to mock or scoff at the man in the arena. I think our fear is pointed in the wrong direction.

It shouldn't be concentrated on or focused on the opinions of those who have not yet themselves walked through those doors. No, the fear should be letting life go by without ourselves walking through. The fear should be contributing to Thoreau's statistic of quiet desperation. the one most men face. But you are not most men or most women. Not because you were given some special power or status, but because you decided. You can choose not to be like most people.

Basic math taking into account the number of people in the stands versus the number of people on the stage or court. or in the arena, well, it tells a tale of courage. Anyone can sit in the stands. Anyone can. Anyone can from the nosebleeds decide whether to clap or point or boo or cheer. But who suits up and enters the game?

Who looks at the finitude of life and says, this is my reason to start building, to put it all on the line? Because if I fail, it will mean I was one of the few who looked around and said, this isn't bigger than I am. This world is not predefined. It's being built in real time by those willing to walk through the doors and step into the arena. Not the critics, but the doers. And look, everyone has a thing, right?

I don't know what that thing is for you, but you do. You probably think about it all the time. Dream about it every day. You probably know it's where your heart is pulling you. Do not let your life become a statistic. Don't you dare go to that graveyard having been someone who held on tighter to excuses than to what mattered most in your life. So go. Step into the arena and if they point, let them point.

If they criticize, let them criticize. Your concern isn't with those wishing they had the courage to step through those doors themselves. It's not about them, it's about you. It's about understanding the beauty and the opportunity and the freedom contained in life. For those who find the courage to reach out and take it. One of the more powerful realizations I've had, both in business and life overall, is that what we do to win today and what we do to position ourselves to win tomorrow, they're often very different things.

And we've probably all experienced this in some capacity. We get sucked into the cycle of doing, becoming so task-oriented that we don't make time to step back and ask, which direction do I want this ship to go? Because sure, we have to keep it afloat, and we have to keep it afloat now. But also, we have to navigate. The ship's role isn't solely to float, right? It's a transportation mechanism, a vehicle.

Where are we going? And so the question becomes, how do we balance the two? I came across an awesome book by Lee Benson called Your Most Important Number. And I'm about halfway through, but already finding a ton of value that I'll be sharing in the future, primarily around positioning your business for success. And one of the first things the book discusses is the difference between what Lee calls eating and dreaming. Eating being the things we need to do now. To take care of matters that are essential for today, the things that need to get done.

So using the same metaphor, actions to keep that boat afloat. And then there's the dreaming, which is essentially doing things now that help position the organization for success in the future down the road. It's asking, what can I do today that will ensure we are winning tomorrow? So boat metaphor, it's planning for storms that may arise later in the journey. It's analyzing the best destinations and charting the course. And here's what really struck me. Lee suggests, based on his consulting, that ideally leaders should be. be, I believe the number was 80% dreaming and 20% eating.

So yeah, doing what has to be done today, obviously, but largely focused on positioning the organization and themselves for success in the days to come. And what he's found is that very often out in the world, that ratio is flipped. People are so consumed by the day to day that the future takes a back seat to the nuance and the quote unquote putting out fires of the purpose. present moment. We're spending 80% of our time eating. Now, like most things, this is not one-size-fits-all. Say, frontline manager at a factory is not going to be 80% dreaming and 20% eating. Their task requirements are different. But the point remains, it's imperative that we in some capacity

utilize our resources now to look ahead. I don't know if I've ever told this story, but I always joke around with my brother about it. When we were kids in Southern California, we'd have these basically battles on the beach, right? Where we'd go down to the hard sand right in front of the water. And we'd each build these little wall slash fort type things, maybe 20 feet apart from each other. This is like emulating World War I type stuff.

And then we'd make cannon balls out of sand and just throw the sand at each other. So in a way, this is a perfect metaphor because we would always be juggling on one hand, building the fort that would protect us from the other person. So dreaming. And then on the other hand, I mean, those things hurt, right? We'd have to in real time be dodging incoming sand simultaneously to building that wall. So the eating.

And he's a bit younger than me, so admittedly this wasn't really fair. But regardless, he would get so consumed with throwing sand that his wall would be really cheaply made. At the beginning, I'd be trying to make this really solid base foundation. He would just be pelting me with this stuff, and it was brutal. But as time went on, I'd build that wall higher and higher. Eventually, it would be lights out for him. He'd have nothing to hide behind.

The young buck was doing, let's say, way less, than 80% and dreaming. And so I'm no longer building castles in the sand. But as the rose said, now I'm looking to build them in the air, seeking to bring things into life that are merely ideas and concepts in my head. And naturally, this prompted me to ask, well, what's my ratio now? Because it sure feels like I'm doing a lot of eating. It sure feels like I spend a lot of time every day, you know, dodging Mikey Peas, incoming sand cannon balls, right? Things are going to be different tomorrow than they are today. And to truly win, we need to be asking ourselves, how do we build that bridge from the

present to the future? How do we lay out stepping stones that will allow an evolution in what we're doing? And I'm thinking, if my day's 95% consumed with eating-type tasks, then I need to figure things out here, right? Is it automate? Is it eliminate? Is it delegate? It's something because the ship needs to be more effectively captained. And I love these epiphanies. Just a change in mindset that can completely redirect one's entire trajectory. And it's funny, I was having a conversation earlier today with a friend about scaling and impact and growth. Another person I love to throw ideas back and forth to and he asked me, well, Eddie, what are some of the ways your world within

could make money. And I was like, oh, it's easy, right? And so I laid it all out in great detail, the ins and outs. And he says, that's awesome. But that's not the question I asked you. You answered a different question. You answered, how is the business making money now? I asked, how can it make money in the future? Boom, another epiphany, one of those instances where you catch yourself thinking small. And this isn't a number. knock on the work I'm doing now or the systems in place now, they're great now, but again, now isn't forever. If you have plans to add more value and create more impact, build more things, that has to be baked into your time and resource allocation. We all have to eat because

we don't want to starve, but we also have to dream. Because if we're unable to look ahead, we simply will not be equipped to handle the turbulence of tomorrow. There's a duality to this game. And I think the ratio with which we're juggling the two deserves consistent attention and examination. Now, yeah, life is seasonal. There are times where keeping that ship afloat takes everything we have, but it's understanding that that is a season and not the way things are.

Dreaming allows us to start moving in the right direction, even if it's one small step at a time. Building today piece by piece, something we can stand on tomorrow, a staircase, to the version 2.0 and 3.0 and 4.0. The future depends on what we do today, and so we must create space for that seed to grow. we must chart the course and captain the ship to the next horizon. Not too long ago, I shared a few thoughts related to stoicism with one of the most important messages in my eyes being, you can't always help how you feel. There are biological elements, there are emotions that we as humans simply cannot escape. But what we have control over is how we.

act, right? What we do amidst the feelings of sadness or anger or despair. Well, as it happens, fate brought me face to face with that lesson once again. And one of the most interesting aspects of life is that the lessons often have to be relearned, right? As the context around us changes, we are forced to draw from that well to take what we knew and transform it and level up. And so, quick story. Two weeks ago, ish, my Facebook account was hacked, which happens to a lot of people. It's not uncommon, and to be honest, I'd never really thought much about it.

But I'm sitting there, and I start getting these emails coming in, right, telling me my phone number's changed, my email address has changed, my username's changed, all this stuff is changing. I'm like, what's going on? And before I could do anything, I go to look and realize, I realize I'm locked out of the account, right? Then I go from my personal page to my business page where I share thoughts like these, these episodes, videos, writings,

and basically, you know, stuff I've been working on for years and realize I'm locked out of there as well. So whoever has the account is now operating it and for whatever reason posting, like spammy images and videos or applying to people pretending to be me, and there's just nothing I could do, right? I'm just locked out watching this happened. And when I say I felt angry,

it's probably an understatement. I was surprised at how furious I was. It was a rage that I wouldn't have anticipated in a million years. I could not help it. And, you know, maybe it was vulnerability, right? That feeling of helplessness that some stranger had access to, you know, around 100,000 people that trust me.

They had no idea what was happening, right? Or maybe it was anger at whoever it was doing this, anger at Facebook for being non-responsive, maybe a fear that, look, you can work so hard for so long and have something taken away incredibly quickly. Whatever it was, I was distraught for like three hours. And eventually I calmed down a little bit. And I remember just sitting there being so disappointed in my reaction.

I hated that I felt the way I did because leaders, and that's what I consider myself, that's what I aim to be in the world, they have to be more composed than I was, period. I thought about that story about the ship at sea that was trapped amidst the storm or everyone was terrified, the ship's going to sink, people were pale, you know, just frantic, screaming, except for the professor who, although he felt the same fear and was overcome by the same biological characteristics,

he was not crying out, indicating that, you know, emotions often can't be avoided, but the response is what carries the weight. And I just think it was a great lesson for me, because for a quick period of time, I definitely, using the same metaphor, cried out. And if that intrusion on my work and privacy was a ship amidst the storm,

it's okay that I felt the way I did, but now we have to work on the reaction. And by the way, I've gotten plenty of opportunity to, right? The account's still hacked. There's still weird posts going out under my name, but I manage it way differently. There's a calmness that I've managed to acquire and maintain. We're done complaining about problems here.

We're looking for solutions amidst what we can control and letting go of what we cannot. Look, I know it's a cliche that our most important lessons come from our moments of duress. But this is exactly what I believe that phrase refers to, right? You need to be hardened by the adversity to change yourself. You need to be able to look in the... bear and go, ooh, I didn't like that. I'm not doing that again, right? And it took an embarrassing three hours of me being furious and acting irrationally. Okay, fine. But that's a small price to pay for the lesson that I acquired. So I think for someone listening to this, my hope is twofold.

One, don't forget that the initial reaction is often sewn into your DNA. It's okay to feel what you feel when things don't go your way. But also, as you sort through the chaos, know that you have the ability to not only tame it, but make something from it, right? Truly. So that next time something similar arises, you have a blueprint.

You'll be a step ahead. You'll find that perspective. Probably realizing, as I have, that it's just not the end of the world anyway. When you're able to eventually step outside your emotions, operate from a point of clarity, a reshuffling of priorities always seems to take place. Look, the storms will come. And if you're pushing and growing and trying to take risks, right, those storms will be numerous.

The question isn't, will you feel them? The question is, can you get a little better each time at not crying out? can you improve the reaction? Can you regain composure and stay locked in on what truly matters? It always gets worse first. I was recently at a mastermind where someone made this point, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't really poke holes in it. For the simple fact that everything new requires some vulnerability,

some discomfort that was previously non-existent. Or in other words, you have to endure turbulence prior to calm. So imagine a wavy line on a piece of paper or whiteboard where the top of each wave is slightly bigger than the one before it. So right before that new wave occurs, there is necessarily a low point or a truble. or a trough, a point that's absolutely, without a doubt, lower than the top of the previous wave. And this, to me, summarizes the battle we fight, right? When you're comfortable, when you're at the top of the little wave you're currently riding, it almost feels self-defeating to willingly jump off and land yourself at the bottom of some new, soon-to-be future wave.

every new mountain means starting at the bottom a new base every acquisition means letting go of something we once knew and understood the question is are you willing to fight through are you willing to hang out in the trough at the bottom right wander that valley of despair and that's by the way what we're talking about

when we talk about, for example, Walt Disney being fired, being called unimaginative, and struggling to get the world to understand his Mickey Mouse cartoon. That's what we're talking about with Steve and Was with Apple. That's what we're talking about with Lincoln and the constant political rejection before finding stability and success, right? These stories have become almost folklore. And all of them share the same characteristic, that the main players willingly accepted the fact that it would get worse before it got better. All of them were willing to make a trade.

The bottom now for a chance at the top later. Not only is this pragmatic, but it also aids the mind throughout the process. It helps us understand and internalize what we're going through. You know, that initial instinct to think, why me, to shake our fists at the world and fall into the role of victim? That goes away when we know that, you know, we're enduring turbulence now for something better. When we know that this is merely the cost of admission. You're not at the bottom of the wave because you have to be or even, you know, because it's fun to hand. out there, you're there because something greater is coming.

And a human's desire to delay gratification is a superpower. We all know that. Things get worse before they get better. So remember next time you're out in the world, right, dealing with adversity. Technically, you don't have to be there. You could be hiding away, letting like, slip by, but instead you've made the decision, the courageous decision to better yourself. What you're enduring will ultimately become your strong point. And so don't villainize or demonize

that, cherish it, hold on to that. Because we need to get beyond the notion that discomfort is weakness. Discomfort is a decision, a bold decision that you should be proud of. Again, you can You could live your entire life running from the painful things, hiding from the discomfort of growth. But then you'd also be forfeiting that next wave. You'd be so hell-bent on escaping the notion that it always gets worse first, that instead you never let your life get better to begin with. There is no bottom or trough on earth more detrimental to the human soul than stagnation. We need to be moving.

Marching forward, even when we don't know, right, into the unknown, into the night, fighting to get to the ceiling, then gladly allowing that ceiling to become our next floor. It always gets worse and thank God. That's where we are made. Conditioned. That's the buffer that separates mediocrity from greatness. That forces us to ask the important questions. Do I really want this?

And if the answer is yes, let it get worse first. Let it be tough out of the gate. Grant yourself that gift of vulnerability. Because a few waves from now, you'll be on a different level, physical, spiritual, personally. A few waves from now, the quote unquote worst parts will be what's between who you are and who you were. And that decision, the decision to step out and face them, will have been perhaps the best decision you've ever made.