Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - CONTROL YOUR EMOTION | Powerful Motivational Speeches | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

"Control your emotions, or they will control you." - Chinese Proverb

The hard thing brought me through hell. But also to that which exists on the other side. The hard thing prompted me to question and doubt, but also provided the pieces I used to build my confidence little by little. It made me ask the tough questions, the ones maybe I didn't want to hear the answer to, but also gave me the power to transform those answers I didn't like. The hard thing meant forfeiting being the expert in my world

in exchange for the role of student in a foreign arena. Gave me new ladders to climb, new possibilities to reach for. It showed that true growth requires a willingness to be the beginner. It took some people out of my arms, my circle, my work, and in some cases my life altogether, but always seemed to open the door to those souls better aligned, to those conducive to the journey and the process. Let's remember what the hard thing is. Beyond the pain, because we all know it does bring that, Beyond the challenges, because there are certainly many.

Beyond all that exists the hope and the change and the promise. Robert Frost says the best way out is always through. Through because it's the chaos, the haze, the darkness of night that shapes us. It's in being broken that we learn to rebuild our world with the peace. and perhaps most importantly. We learn that such a rebuilding process is possible to begin with, that the now is not mandatory or permanent. The hard thing, as it turns out, is nothing more than a transaction.

Turbulence for the view above the clouds, fear in the moment for confidence in the future. It's learning that although life sometimes appears to paint a picture, picture of conformity and helplessness. There's always a path leading to the very place we need to go. It just asks we find the courage to walk it. Churchill has said the pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.

And this beautiful message rings true. Because from the difficulty is the advantage. And sure, our first instinct is to see the problem. Our eyes tend to initially fix it on that which is unfortunate. But beyond that is where we get the most incredible things life provides, as if one is removing the shell or outer layer in order to get to the nutrients in the center, the ingredients required for growth, the peace is necessary to experience life at its fullest.

And so we must be reminded that those opportunities, they're not rare, they're not reserved for everyone but you. They just tend to disguise themselves as the things we're most inclined to disregard or walk by. But if one finds the courage to move into them, through them, If one can see the difficulty not as a deterrent but as a bargain, they'll be given everything on the other side. Reality is not changed with the magic wand or the granting of a wish.

It's from staring down the heart thing and moving directly into it one little step at a time. What you look for in life. tends to be what you find. What you believe is usually what you see. Which means your existence hinges on where you build your walls. And part of the reason stories, music, movies,

they move us is because we're allowed, even if it's for a short period of time to change our parameters on these things. To let the mind navigate through a world without any limitation. When you think about it, we never fast forward through a movie so that we can quickly check off the box and complete it. Right?

We never rush through to move on to the sequel. No, we want to experience it. We want to be overwhelmed by emotion, captivated by excitement lost in the mystery, and then when it's over, we retract. we return to reality. The walls come back up and the rules are reinstated. And from a 10,000 foot view,

you can't help but look at that and wonder if there's more there. Why do we have to retreat to this microcosm of our ideal world where we're not rushed? We can enjoy the moment. Why does it take a dark room and objects depicted on a small screen for us to feel like it's acceptable to step outside of this everyday script.

And the question isn't who's enforcing these rules. The answer is always us, it's internal, but the question is why? Is it incomprehensible that the same excitement be inserted into your world? Is it out of the realm of possibility that the rush of adrenaline, the peak experiences, the laughter, love twists, and turns be inserted into reality? It's like we choose to be chased through life by ticking clocks and measured by socially constructed checkpoints. But we can move beyond that, much beyond in those checkpoints.

They're just as imaginary as the talking raccoon you set aside three hours to watch last night. So, by the way, you could escape from a manufactured reality. Right, there's a powerful authoritative line that separates our day to day from the imagination, and every second is about pushing that back. Never fast-forwarding through life, but making it unlike anything else. Never applying the word mandatory to things that don't warrant the term. We need to think bigger. Working like a madman to build someone else's dream is not mandatory.

Enjoying two sevenths of your life is not mandatory. Being confined to one road when there are infinite paths to travel is not mandatory. They're components of a bad movie. And my point is not to be ungrateful. It's not to be resentful. It's to remind you that things are the way they are because you've allowed them to be that way. Nothing in life is destined, predetermined, or meant to be. Everything is decided. Life is chosen. Paths are taken. And sometimes a simple reminder that you have the flexibility to redefine

the rules can make all the difference. You are entitled to happiness. Every day is a continuation of the extraordinary, not a break from it, and you have to see that. You have to believe that. You're not alive so that you can every so often escape. You're here to feel the imaginary, to challenge the make-belief. Our view of the world without a concentrated effort, it seems to contract. And this is a reminder to disallow that to stop living for the 5% or the 10% and flip that ratio on its head. Now is the time to rewrite your script, recraft your storyline. And if what you look for is what you get, then it's time to see what you've never seen before.

I was never a runner. Until one day in grade school, I got running shoes and decided that I was. I never ran a successful business until I saw myself as an accomplished business owner. See, something I've realized through the years is that we are nothing more than the role we are playing. And every day we are auditioning for a part. I'll never forget years back listening to some actors doing a Q&A session. And a film student asked one of them for some strategies and approaches to getting into character. And one of the actors who volunteers He appears to answer.

He looks down at his feet, looks back up and says, it all starts with the shoes that we wear. Because from the ground up, they define how we carry ourselves, how we feel. They allow us to embody a specific character and sort of move forward, taking on that persona. What he had just done was spell out the relationship between identity, the story that we've convinced ourselves we should live by and the actions that we take.

Our lives are defined by the metaphorical shoes we wear. You can only be what you believe you are and you will never believe it until you own it, live it. Even though you haven't identified as something in the past today is different, the script is new. Just like an actor is not confined to his previous role, why would you be confined to yesterday? That abstract idea we used to bundle up recent events and make them tangible, just so that they can act like an anchor. Oh, yesterday, I couldn't complete my workout, so I'm not a runner. Yesterday, I was shy at the conference, so I'm an introvert. Yesterday I failed my math test.

I don't do math. Look, my question is, is that right? Is it you? Or are those simply the shoes that you've chosen to wear? The role you were playing, because it never fails. If that's how you think of yourself, that is positively the result you're going to get. Wanting something better, positive change, greatness

requires more than wishful thinking. It requires a deliberate shift in mindset, a change in character, becoming something new. Maybe you're a millionaire. Maybe you're a millionaire with no money right now. Maybe you're a millionaire with a hell of a lot to learn. But if you don't believe you are right now at this very moment,

you will never be one. People always live up to the image that they have created. of themselves, period. How you think of yourself is what you'll get. We are actors. The majority of us playing the same role, the one we played yesterday and the day before and the day before. But if you could just convince yourself

to be something new, to wear the shoes, to sing the song and dance the dance, you'll evolve. You'll walk away from the fiction holding you back, Just like the elephant tied to the plastic chair. You are not the problem. It's the shoes on your feet and the way that you think about them. And I suspect that it's time for a new role.

If these walls could talk, they would remind you of the things that you sometimes forget. Yeah, those elusive things you tend to walk right by. It's not that you've chosen to ignore them, it's that, well, people are complex. And we have a tendency to skip over some important things as we remain fixated on our problems, our perceived inadequacies, that finicky negativity bias. The one that states, if you went to a restaurant 100 times, had 99 incredible experiences, but something went wrong on the 100th.

Well, that restaurant would forever be known to you as the place where things go wrong. We are wired not to see the good, but to identify and avoid the bad. And if these walls could talk, they would unveil to you the brilliance that exists slightly. out of frame. They would suggest you look over your shoulder and take a peek at how far you've come because my friend you've come a long, long way. It's funny how slow progress moves. It's interesting how our lowest moments force us outside of ourselves. Push us to step into those shoes we didn't know we're sitting in the closet, unworn, waiting for the day we'd take on that new role, waiting on you to see that who you were yesterday is not correlated to who you can be today.

And if these walls could talk, they'd fill you in on a very important statistic. They'd tell you that you've stood face-to-face with some of the biggest curveballs life can throw. You took on struggle and hardship that rocked you to your core. And as you stand here now, your success rate through all that comes in at, well, 100%. You are literally undefeated in your ability to move through adversity. And every time you did, whether you knew it or not, you walked into that closet and put on a new pair of shoes. you became something new. Sometimes progress is so slow that it feels like pain

and it looks like stagnation, but it is anything but. And if these walls could talk, they would remind you of that truth. They would beg you to see what you've become, who you are. If these walls could talk, they would remind you of life's ever-changing, transformative nature. All the times they witnessed you upset about people and things coming and going, as you tried to hold on to that which perhaps no longer served you, wishing you could make permanent those things that were just meant to be transitory,

shooting stars across the sky of your life, but something doesn't need to be forever to be meaningful. And thank God because nothing is forever. And as we make our way into that vast unknown, we have a choice. We can live in the shadow of a particular moment in time, or we can cherish the value that those moments offered to us. They gave you just enough to take a new step forward, and sometimes a new step in that direction that's calling you

is the difference between nothing and everything. So if these walls could talk, they would tell you to keep your head. head up and be thankful for those shooting stars in your life for they made you who you are. And the path forward would be impossible without them. If these walls could talk, they would ask you about those times you came home, sat down in your room, and wondered how you could ever be enough. They'd call attention to that seemingly non-stop battle with imposter syndrome. They'd ask when you will feel like you've learned, seen, or traveled enough to gain some semblance of authority in your own life.

They'd wonder when you'll give yourself permission to be that. You've come so far, endured so much, you're not the same person you were a year ago. Now, if you could just stretch a little further, if you could just stretch a little further, if you could could just extend a little higher. If you could see all the new shoes you've worn and the shooting stars you've collected along the way, you would know that you are designed to overcome. External pressures, obligations, criticism,

none of it matters. This is between you and yourself. And if these walls could talk, they would ask you when you'll see what they see. the brilliant, the magnitude of your potential. When will you be you? Marcus Aurelius wrote, remember how long you've been putting this off.

How many extensions the gods gave you and you didn't use them, there is a limit to the time assigned to you, and if you don't use it to free yourself, it will be gone and never return. See, today is precious. because it is the only one you get. Each second unique in its own way, a measurement of opportunity

represented by a single tick from the watch you're wearing, and if these walls could talk, they would tell you that they've seen people come and go, that you aren't the first, and you most definitely won't be the last. And every single soul that stepped inside wish they'd found that courage a little sooner, Wish they'd looked back a little earlier. Wish they'd found the inspiration amidst the chaos and turbulence of their day-to-day lives.

And if these walls could talk, they'd hope that maybe this would be it for you, the next step in your evolution. And what's most incredible is that you get there not by becoming something you've not yet become. Now, in this moment, it's about, noticing who you already are instead of the one mistake or reason to shrink into yourself how about shining a light on those 99 reasons to expand when it hurts know that it's hurt worse and you've persevered when you experience loss know that it's not about what's gone but what you now have and will keep

with you forever and most importantly know that you can always step into a new pair of shoes. You can always reinvent, recreate, you are never defined by something that happened in the past. The wake of the boat does not drive the boat, and so with this in mind, chart your course to new horizons. Understand that the map you need has nothing to do with externalities, but rather the solutions that already exist within you. So take a second and peer back over your shoulder. Look at that you in the past, standing at the bank of a river, hoping, praying for help, a lift, for some technology to get you across, knowing as you stand here now that you have traversed oceans. Look, the context changes,

And yes, it will always change, but your ability to endure, it does only one thing it multiplies. You have everything you need because you couldn't have gotten to this point without accumulating the knowledge and expertise to take one step forward and miracles. They are merely the culmination of those courageous steps. And yes, when we are stuck, when we're at that coastline looking out at foreign horizons, I get that the answers seem big, sometimes even bigger than we are. I get that the mind wanders right to the potential disasters, to the what-ifs and the worst case. But if these walls could talk, they would let you know that you've come this far, endured and accomplished all this,

not because you've left mountains or jumped ocean, but because when you were at your worst, you found it within yourself to carry on the exponential compounding of what has made you great and what will continue to make you great. Look at these walls could talk, they'd show you how the difficulties of years past have become stepping stone.

So commonplace, so easily solvable that they no longer even warrant your attention. That by moving forward you have faced your obstacles, taken the value from them and made them obsolete. If these walls could talk, they'd remind you that you are not only ready, but made for everything that awaits. Did you ever wonder how much of you has materialized? Like if what F. Scott Fitzgerald says is true and our lives are defined by opportunity, even the ones we miss, then how much remains in the ether? And I don't think it's about playing a game of what if. You know, that would be endless. It would be self-defeating. No one's perfect. I don't even really think it's about making a right turn instead of a left.

Because as long as you're moving and moving with conviction life, all times. brings you where you need to be. But more, my concern is the steps never brought to pay. My ideas on the hatch, my opportunities, I either knowingly or unknowingly left on the shelf. Because it didn't seem real enough. Like a Broadway play between my ears, that as a spectator I knew would end.

After all, that's what stories do. How much of ourselves have we passed aside as Simply the things we don't say out loud. At first, it's infinite. We've yet to be taught to limit because limits aren't things, their ideas, and ideas must be adopted. That's why they say some of life's best things. We're done by people too ignorant to know they were impossible,

too naive of the notion that they couldn't say them out loud. Then it's comparison. They have what I want. But it was meant for them and not me. How delusional to think I could have it. How crazy to think that life has yet to be written. I am an author. My date is with normalcy in the box where I keep those things we don't say out loud.

And then we look around and we see highlight reels. We see awards and vacations and smiles. But we don't stop to think maybe they're just like me. Maybe there are people who struggle and question themselves and doubt the road ahead. No, it must be the past diverged. They took happiness and I took those things we don't say out loud. And then there's everyday life when things don't go as planned, when the world presents curveballs and you haven't learned to hit off speech.

so you feel small and you feel inadequate and ill-equipped, and you could reach out, but that's not cool, that's not right. That's something that you don't say out loud, but we keep it in, like all in. And eventually it becomes the if-only's, and I wish I had. It's the quiet envy gazing longingly towards those who just cared less, who realized maybe life's not as serious as we make it out to be, who turn thoughts to things, not by burying, but by embodying them. And maybe that's the trick to unlock the gate,

keeping your perceived reality from the possibility of a new one. The one you could create, if only you promoted your fleeting thoughts to forward progress. See, dreams can fail to come to fruition in two places, in your head and outside of it. But at least outside, it has a chance. At least outside, you can take the common, normal, everyday background and make it the backdrop to your movie, where you play a lead role. But it must be accepted. and acknowledged, not thought of or even whispered, but screamed,

so that the details and the trivialities that exist now work for you. That's right, they are now yours. Not because you thought about it, but because you reached out a hand and you took. You asked the world for something. And in life, it will always be true that you don't get what you do not ask for. So when you find yourself staring up a wall comprised of a world, comprised of self-defeating narratives and manufactured limits, be ignorant, be irrational, be the reason your dreams have a chance. And when you look around and you see more and wonder why you don't have it, know that you can, you're allowed to, if you sacrifice, you will, but you must believe you are worthy of it.

Not in the back of your head where you keep your locker combo in movie quotes, but in reality where words bounce off lips. And when you feel like life is treating you unfairly, like they're happier or have it better, know that life is peaks and valleys, not just for you but for everyone. And how you internalize that and carry on makes the difference. And when you feel lost or stuck, you are not hopeless, but in progress. Being broken down so that you can be reconstructed, stronger, better. Victory is not in hiding those struggles, but accepting them as the difference as the reason you created the miraculous.

Not because you had dreams, but because you said them out loud. That morning, as I looked out the window, I could feel my increased heart rate, a sense of both excitement and anxiety that you can only really understand if you've lived it. I was worried about what people might think, what I might lose, what life might have in store for me, because that was all I knew to focus on. I'd programmed myself to do one thing worry. And when your one thing is worrying, it's inevitable that you see life through a lens of scarcity. Your setting is worrying. It's inevitable that you see life through a lens of scarcity. Your setting is, you're not. You're on maintain, meaning you protect the little you have as opposed to seeking more. You play defense to keep the world out as opposed to the offense required to bring the world in so that it may be reshaped.

That morning, cold, wet, gray. I was numb, but deep down completely oblivious to me, there was a little fire too small to recognize. A spark of courage in its infancy. See at that moment, if someone asked me, can you even be scared and courageous at the same time? I would have said those two words do not go together. Right? We're talking night and day, fire and water. black and white, but time's job is to reveal, and it has shown that there is no courage

without fear. There is no fire, no matter how bright or powerful, that doesn't by default bring about those mysterious shapes dancing in the shadows. If you want fire, great. but you must learn to dance with what hides in the periphery. You must learn to go where your impulse begs you not to. And so that morning I went to dance with my demons. What if the one thing holding you back in your life was you? And look, I know the world is a complex, multivariable, unfair, sometimes even cryptic place.

I've never said anything to the contrary. But what humans do so well, sometimes for good and sometimes to our detriment, is see life through stories, ideas. Whether you know it or not, you are playing by a set of rules. Right now, as you take this in,

you have defined a set of parameters and deemed them acceptable. Decided they are what you deserve. You've allowed for yourself a certain level of growth, a certain amount of happiness, a certain amount of time to do what you love, a certain expectation around the role of work in your life, a certain window of income you've identified as reasonable.

Overall, a certain feeling you get when you look in the mirror. And my objective is not to tell you that any of the above is good or bad. It's to remind you that they are all stories. Our current state is not etched in stone. It's clumsily drawn on a dry erase board. Clumsily, because how could we know everything? We learn along the way in a dry race board because there's never a moment in time in which you cannot begin

again. Think about that. Never. Good, bad, or in between, there is never a situation from which you can't emerge as something different, from which you can't choose to take a different path, change the narrative around you, your relationships, your job, your goals. But like the elephant, tied to the chair with the rope, one must learn that it is not the chair holding them back, but their perception, their understanding of a supposed role in life. So as I drove away that morning,

I wasn't leaving a physical place, but a mental constraint, turning my back on a manufacturing, idea about who I was and what life would allow. Not in a snap. No, not all at once, but an adventure that would begin pulling back the curtains one by one on all that I'd walked right by.

See, the first step to getting more is understanding you've been accepting less. That is where new roads present themselves, and it is that new road. that I want for you. That understanding that so much will be given to those with the courage to ask. So as you stand now, examine what you've been asking of life.

My hunch is that perhaps it's not enough. Perhaps there's more. Perhaps a new chapter is waiting to begin and right now is when that first page gets Joseph Campbell says that the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. Why? Because to face the dancing shadows is to gain power over them. It shows our mind that reality is far less scary than our perception of reality.

That no chain or lock or wall can be more debilitating than the mental constraints weak create by ourselves in our heads. It shows that the man guarding the door can just as easily be the one who unlocks it. And so what better a time than now to turn that key? To step out and confront what was once nothing more than a vast emptiness. jump into the cold water of opportunity that shocks us at first, creates pins and needles and discomfort, but ultimately provides a chance to acclimate to and navigate a foreign world.

You, you just need to jump, and not a mountain, but a foot. Enough to start earning that confidence, creating that self-trust. believing in yourself so drive away to the understanding that there is always another level if you want it to the belief that nothing is outside the realm of possibility those boundaries can be redrawn to the idea that no one tells you who you are or what you're capable of the world doesn't Give orders, it reacts to who you decide to be. To the awareness that possible victories always outweigh in magnitude to possible defeat.

To the realization that who you were yesterday is in no way related to who you can be tomorrow, all chapters end, and you decide when that happens. Everything else belongs in the rear view. Success is knowing this. It's believing it, holding on when others would let go, be reassured by the incremental nature of what's ahead. Zero miracles, just the courage to begin, just push the ball down the hill. Give life a chance to help you create momentum.

No more thinking, worrying, procrastinating, just grueling. It's incredible how fast things change when we grant ourselves that freedom, when we see all of the world is open to us. But will you open your mind to that opportunity? I've said this before, and I'll say it again, nothing is sure in life, but you are guaranteed to lose if you don't go. It's to let falsehoods and debilitating stories guide your way. So stop letting these narratives tell you who you are and create reality with your feet. Why? Because you can. Because you were meant for more and because more starts. Around 2011, I hurt my left arm and had to get surgery.

So for a while, I was pretty limited as far as what I could do with my upper body. And that's really when I fell in love with running. I started doing it almost every day. Sometimes those long runs outside, clear my mind, sort of reset a little bit. And sometimes I'd mix it up. Hop on the treadmill and do my favorite workout, which was a pyramid, right, where you break 10 minutes into four segments, four, three, two. and one, increasing in intensity with each segment, and then you start over.

And that's where this whole idea comes from. It's this treadmill workout that I want to talk about, because there's a little ritual I picked up that I still implement to this day, and it was simple. At the very end of my workout or my run, I would always add 22 seconds. My lucky number twice, two and two. So, for example, if I told myself, you know, the workout's going to be, you know, three pyramids or 30 minutes, I would stop running at 30 minutes in 22 seconds.

If I told myself it was going to be an hour, I'd stop at one hour in 22 seconds. Always tacking on that 22, and I don't really remember the first time I started doing it or even why. But like so many things, that 22-second period, organically became a habit, sort of evolved to take on a life of its own and would come to symbolize for me a little challenge. The idea that the end is never really the end. And no matter how tired I was

or how bad I wanted to stop, especially when you can see that finish line in reach, I could always squeeze out a little more. But there's always something extra to give. And you could certainly go. down that 22-second rabbit hole, right? Just 22 more seconds. And then you finish that and you realize

you can do just 22 more and just 22 more. It's like this never-ending spotlight into how incredible we are as humans. That our stopping points almost always are constructed. Rarely is there not an extra 22 seconds or 22-somethings we can endure. And not only that, I think there's a case to be made that our growth occurs in that final push.

There's a ton of value, you know, hidden away in there. The stretching of the mind and body. The last rep that breaks down the muscle. The last few seconds of that run that forced the lungs to work their hardest. Exhausting that last bit of energy and focus, you know, studying for an exam. Maybe that's where you confirm your comprehension and understanding of the subject matter. It's like when we are pushing ourselves, just outside the limits we drew up, we are simultaneously expanding those limits.

And so over the years, I've adopted that mentality. And I look at myself in the mirror now, and I can see it. I'm not the same person I was a decade ago. Those little decisions to add on 22 seconds, they stack up, and they stack up in a unique way. Because it's not necessarily about the time. It's not the same benefit that, say, an hour every morning that the gym would bring. You know, obviously that would be incredibly valuable, but in a different way. I'm talking about mentally, an armor that we come to wear, an identity that gets materialized.

It's how you see yourself in a different way. how you see the world. You understand how manufactured our parameters are. And I get it. We have to stop somewhere, sure. But it's an acknowledgement that those somewheres are fiction. They are arbitrary. You weren't made to exist within them, but to stretch them, to recreate them. And that's an endeavor that is always uncomfortable. But as far as I can tell, always worth it. The strength to go a little bit further than initially intended or designed is what will place you in a league of your own.

And that's where I wanted to start by bringing attention to the idea that there's always an extra 22 seconds and you are always capable of obtaining it. that is yours. Whether you choose to see it or not, it's an option, it's always an option, which sort of connects us to my next thought. If I know that's who I am, someone that fights for that 22 seconds, if I know that's what I'm capable of, and that's what lights me up, what about those times in my life when I had no desire to reach for the extra 22. Because sitting here, I can think of plenty. I can think of times

when there was dissonance between my identity and my actions. Here's a quick story. This was a shift in my life and my understanding of reaching for that little bit more. When people ask me about my process, right, what I'm building or where I see myself in excellence, what I'm building or where I see myself in X number of years. I tell them I'm playing the long game, right? Like, I'll sacrifice some short-term wins now to

continue forward with the plan that I believe wholeheartedly will transform from linear to exponential, right? It's like Gary V's motto. You know, you're young, you have time. And impact is not about succeeding at 34,

it's about flourishing at 45 and 55 and 65 and 65 and 75, like, that's fun to me. That's the exciting game to play. And it's methodical. The challenge is, you know, as you're locked into this big picture plan, you have to pass a lot of shiny objects along the way. A lot of, hey, look at them over there.

Maybe I should be doing that too. That worked for her. Will it work for me? Right? Sometimes you forget to trust yourself and stay the course. And so a few years ago, I felt this pressure to pivot, to adjust focus. I'd been talking with some mentors of mine who were very successful in their individual fields and passions. And I thought, hey, you know what, it's time for me to start focusing less on the craft and more on monetizing the craft.

Right? The De Niro side of things, which is great and it's healthy. But here's the catch. as long as you're doing it in a way that aligns with who you are. And so a few months go by, and I found myself living in this overly sized and priced condo on the beach that I was going to use to impress clients, you know, making products that didn't excite me, talking to people I didn't really want to be talking to, living a life that was not my own, I'd lost myself, right?

My love is storytelling. It's capturing life's seemingly overlooked secret. That's what I get excited about in the morning. That's the value I want to share with the world. And look, money is important. It's necessary. It's freedom. But for me, it can't be about the money or I lose the drive.

Right? And here's the point I'm making where it all comes together. What I found is that when you're a strange in your own body, there's almost no incentive to push for that little extra. It's like, who cares about fighting for 22 seconds? I'm so misaligned. I don't even want to be here. Right?

That is the red flag. That's the indicator that it's time to adjust. Because if I'm someone who wants more, who pursues and acquires more, and I don't feel the urge to do so, you know, it's time to change. And I broke the lease, put everything I had in a car, went on a little three-month excursion, re-aligned. And if I'm not willing to suffer through that little extra,

to go above and beyond, it's not for me. And so that's a big example. But it obviously manifests in smaller ways as well. Yes, you are someone who can and will chase down the beauty in life, who will transform that little extra into something. meaningful, but you also have to position yourself and the world around you to make it possible. And when you don't feel that hunger inside, and this is the point you need to understand, it's not you, it's not broken hardware, it's not that you innately lack drive or confidence, it's that you need to rearrange this scenario, you need to find alignment.

Because I promise you if you want something enough, you'll be willing to fight for it, to hurt for it, to break boundaries for it. But you must first make sure that you're pointed at something you want, something that moves you. And here's the part where I remind you of all those things you've already overcome in your life. Of all the times you thought your tank was empty, but you found a way. all the times you were hurting but kept moving, all the times you were broken, but put yourself back together, we are not told in school or at work how resilient we are. We're not told that we often stop thousands of 22-second period short.

We aren't told that we're living at a 30% capacity, operating at a fraction of our potential. We don't even realize the little miracles we've created along the way. A strong purpose and a willingness to stretch yourself as you pursue it will change your life. And that's not hyperbole. That is fact. If you want what you've never had, then push yourself further than you've ever gone. And we're talking little stressors, expanding one step at a time. until you eventually look over your shoulder and see the miles you've traveled.

Until you look at your reflection and see the evolution that has occurred. It was never just 22 seconds. It was a consistent and sustained shot at the walls you placed around yourself for the opportunity to see them crumble. Hi there, podcast lover. If you have a dark sense of humor and like your true crime story is paired with the glass of wine, then you need to check out our true crime comedy podcast, Wine and Crime, hosted by two Minnesotaan childhood besties, me, Amanda, and me, Lucy. Each week we dive into

a bizarre true crime topic, pair that topic with a wine, and get into all the dirty details. Wine and crime is dark, fun, feminist, and perfect for satisfying your morbid curiosities with a healthy dose of humor. Join us as we chug wine, chat true crime, and unleash our worst Minnesota accents. Check us out at Wine and Crime Podcast.com and listen now wherever you get your podcasts. There's often a vast distinction between what we think is holding us back and what is actually holding us back. And that may even be putting it lightly.

Most of the time we're just plain misinformed. Most of the time, we're looking externally at irrelevant discrepancies between ourselves and someone else. We're looking at things that happened yesterday, possible outcomes that may happen tomorrow. We're creating entire stories, crafting narratives, building hostile worlds that simply don't exist. When what we need is simple,

to give ourselves permission, to let ourselves walk out that front door and towards what we long for. And this came to light recently. I shared a simple 20-second message on TikTok where basically I highlighted John Green's quote about the best things in life occurring after we find the courage to depart

or leave where we are, right, to build again. And as I was looking at the response, it was both beautiful and eye-opening. hundreds and hundreds of comments from people saying that the message helped them feel empowered to do what they've been putting off. And some called it fate. Some called it what they needed to hear at the exact moment they needed to hear it. And as I'm going through, I keep thinking the same thing over and over and over every single one of these people. They already knew in their hearts what needed to come next.

They knew what would make them feel alive. They knew where the compass was pointing. Yet their default led them to the same place we've all been, waiting for external permission, waiting for life to give us a reason to say, okay. The light is now green. You can go. The time is right.

Now, don't get me wrong, it means the world that a simple message can shift one's perspective. that way. I've been on the receiving end. I'm stuck looking for some type of guidance we all have, but I think we'd all agree that if that guidance helps us get back on track, then the real question should be, how do we live so that we can stay to the best of our ability on track? Find ourselves less prone to those occurrences, more confident in ourselves, in our dreams, in where we're going. And for me, it's been understanding. That in my life, I am the one that creates, signs, and sends the permission slips.

I say go. And when I remember that, I'm free to do what's best for me. I'm simultaneously the architect and the pieces, the wind, and the sail. See, you don't need a reason to walk out of a relationship you're not happy in. You don't need a reason to leave a job that's not pushing you to be who you most want to become. You don't need a reason to change a habit or reinvent yourself or begin again. Know all you need is the courage to green light what your heart already knows it wants. We think that the external world has the answers for us.

when in reality we've had them the whole time. We just want something to point to, to say, see, I was right. But we don't need to be reactive. We can be proactive. You can be the one that lights the fire. When you follow your intuition, your heart, your sense of purpose, life conforms because it has to conform.

When you become an immovable object, life around you moves. It makes way and if it doesn't, then you go back to the drawing board, you adapt and adjust. And that's the beauty of life. That's how we build meaning, trusting ourselves to walk into that resistance. Because the friction and the headwind is never what's holding us back. Are they uncomfortable? Yeah. At times, does it scare us?

Sure. It's supposed to. But it's not what holds you back. Waiting for someone or something to come along and greenlight your journey through life is what holds you back. And it's funny, I think we again and again overlook the simplest of truth. The hardest part is starting. It's convincing yourself that one, it's possible and two, you're worth it. Everything else you face from the second you walk out that front door can be conquered.

In fact, we ourselves grow along the way so that we can rise up and meet the demands of life, but it's unquestionably doable. That thought as you look out the window, right? What if the worst case scenario happens? happens. Can't. Because the worst case scenario is sitting in that seat your whole life, looking out the window and imagining a world where you found the courage to be more, to explore, to live life as it was meant to be lived. But let's say, let's say that what we fear does come to fruition. Then I ask, what are the odds? It's reversible, probably high. Let's say I want to start a podcast.

and I finally work up the courage and I get my mic and I start my show when no one listens. But I keep going and I keep going and nothing sticks. And most importantly I learned, look, I'm really not crazy about this idea. It wasn't what I thought it was. It's not me. Okay, perfect. Now you know, and sure it took time to learn that lesson, but you have the rest of your life to continue the beautiful experiment, to search for what lights you up. But you've found the courage to learn that lesson,

to explore, to try, to begin, and you are now better because of it. That's your worst case scenario? Sounds a lot less scary to me than a life lived sitting there looking out the window. See, we can't let the fear of an unlikely worst case stop the possibility of that, oh so coveted best case. Don't let the virtually zero percent probability of losing everything overshadowed, the opportunity to gain everything. Let's never allow ourselves

to get caught standing still, waiting for the universe to give us the answer, as though we're waiting for a letter in the mail. No, give yourself permission to see the upside, to make your own decisions, and most importantly, to live your life.