Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - DISCIPLINE IS EVERYTHING | Powerful Motivational Speeches | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

“He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

When I first started my podcast, and at that point it wasn't technically a podcast, it was only YouTube videos at the time. I would sit down, I would open my notes and start planning that particular video. And sometimes things would come to me. Sometimes they would. And when they did, you know, I would turn on the mic and I would go. And when they didn't, I would shut down the computer. and say, well, some other day then, right? Not today. And in theory, there's nothing wrong with this. I've always considered myself an artist, and while you can't force art, or can you? Because there is

most definitely a shift that occurs when you look at this situation from a different angle. It's not about, quote unquote, feeling it today, as much as it's about getting done, which you have to get done. in tight windows because sometimes that's all life gives you a narrow window of opportunity to go or not go to start or not start to create or not create there's an idea that's admittedly a tad cliche here but it says you practice how you play and I've spoken about this before I think there's a ton of truth to it because those big picture values, they're hard to flip on and flip off. Most likely, you either do them all the time or you don't. They're either indicative of who you are or they're not. If your house and car

and closet are a disaster, probably accurate to say that your Google or Apple calendar, if you even have one, probably isn't pristine. It's most likely in disarray mirroring everything else in your life. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's not likely. Same thing with health. When I'm not eating healthy and trust me, I've gone through periods where I've just mailed that in, right? I give a little less on my workouts. Place a little less emphasis on my sleep. It snowballs, right? You get the idea. It's all related. And that's why I can honestly say in my personal and in my work life, how I do one thing is generally how I do all things. And this brings me back full circle to those writing and recording sessions. If I can close my laptop and go, eh, not today,

the muse, as Stephen Pressfield calls it, just isn't flowing through me. Maybe tomorrow. It's setting a precedent for everything. If you train your mind to create off-ramps, it will glad. badly take them because oh how our minds love off-rabs. And this reality, it highlights the power of shutting down that possibility altogether, stopping it in its tracks, making it simple. This is a window of opportunity to execute. So execute. And will it be the best thing you've ever done?

Maybe not, but maybe. The reality is you condition your mind to show up for yourself. There's a shift that occurs when one looks at the task in front of them and asks, not can this be done today, but rather, it will be done, how do I execute to the best of my ability?

Not, I hope I have it this morning, but rather good ideas flow through me. So sit down and string a few of those ideas together. The expectation that you will produce something valuable, it has a way of ensuring you do exactly that. My personal best for a half marathon was run with the flu. I could have closed that metaphorical laptop and said some other time I don't feel well. But I repositioned the question to how do I find a way to execute in this window of opportunity before me? Lo and behold, it was the right move.

I've gone to events where I had a million other things happening in my world. Right? I wasn't particularly thrilled about going, but I did because I committed. And met some people that changed my life, right? Small window, execute. When there is a task before you and you have committed to it, when leaving or turning around isn't even an option, that is a superpower. Now, obviously, there's a line reaching that sunk cost fallacy.

I'm not advocating you continuously hit your head against the wall, you know, when something's bad for you, or you should be doing something different. I'm talking about those things we know we should be doing, right? The ones we're better off for, but life has presented friction in one form or another. It's very easy to identify that friction as an enemy, as a reason you can't. It's tempting to say, you'll wait until things are better or easier or perfect, but life doesn't provide those situations. It gives windows to execute. So train your mind to identify and capitalize in those moments.

Understanding that, well, technically, yeah, you could walk away. That option is no longer available to you. Some people do what they feel like, they do what they want to, and others do what must be done. And it's the latter that creates meaningful, sustainable progress in life. As far as I'm concerned, it's the latter that brings about contentment. You could have waited for a perfect moment, but instead you said yes, consistently sat down, and in the meantime chipped away at something more important, something real. And that real thing is exponential growth. Exponential growth waits for you to capitalize.

It waits for you to commit. It waits for you to sit down and execute. It doesn't wait, though, for you to feel ready. start the episode with a story pertaining to criticism, doubt, and how we internalize it, how it affects us, or doesn't, which is the point of the story here. And in this little story, there are some frogs and they're hopping along and two of them fall into this little pit. Right. And they're stuck down there. And you have the ones up top looking down saying, oh my God, guys, that is, that's a death sentence. You're done. Don't even try. It's over. for you and they're frantically hopping. They're trying to get out. They're scared. And the people up top

are the frogs up top are saying, you're done. It's over. Stop. Don't waste your time. One of them finally concedes. Maybe you're right, jumps further down into the pit and ultimately dies. The other one keeps jumping, keeps jumping. And the frogs on top are saying, stop, don't waste your time. There's no point. There's no point. You're done. But he keeps jumping and ultimately gets a out. And when he gets to the top, the frogs are saying, didn't you hear us? We were saying that there was no way out that you were, you were dead pretty much. And the frog communicates basically that he's deaf, right? So he couldn't hear a word. And the beauty in that is that, you know, when you don't hear the negativity, when you don't hear the doubt, you create your own reality, right? Truth is defined

by the author. You are the author of your own story. The future hasn't been created yet. And so giving someone else control over that outcome, you know, doesn't make sense. It actually doesn't make sense, right? And similar to one of my favorite, I don't know if it's a quote, but the idea that, you know, most of the people who did fantastic things were too ignorant to understand the odds, right? It's like when you allow outside circumstances to dictate what's real, they're holding the pen and they're deciding. But when you have clarity and when you have a laser focus on what matters and what's important, you know, all the nuance and the detail outside of that, what other people think or what they say or what they believe has no relevance

to what you do or what you're trying to do. There's always going to be that chirping. There's always going to be that negativity and the question is, you know, do you internalize it? Do you jump into the pit? Do you believe it? Or do you tune it out and you jump out and make a world for yourself that matters to you? Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it. This was written by the author of Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Connaman. And what he's referring to is a cognitive bias known as the focusing illusion. Pretty basic idea means that we elevate the importance of things that we think about while ignoring other aspects of our lives. By thinking about something, it suddenly matters more to us.

And while it's easy to interpret this disconnect between our thoughts and reality is alarming, there's also an opportunity here to use this to our advantage, right? To further become the captain of your ship. I've heard my entire life, think positive thoughts. We all have. But there's value in understanding why that's true, right? Otherwise, it just feels like a meaningless ritual. So Conneman talks about a study with college students where they were asked about their overall level of happiness,

and then they were asked about their dating lives. And the answers they gave, there was no correlation between the two answers. But when the order of the questions were switched, when the students were asked about their dating lives first, and then their overall happiness, the correlation between the two answers increased. The answer they gave about their overall happiness mirrored however they said their dating lives were, at least to a much greater extent. Why? Well, because dating became the variable or the framework that they used to a much greater extent. to measure their overall happiness, even though perhaps they didn't know it, right? But by focusing on it, it became more relevant. It bled into other aspects of life, right?

You get what you focus on. It's that simple. And the truth is, as I mentioned earlier, nothing is as important as we think it is. Everything is magnified, kind of blown out of proportion in our minds. So the question is why not use that as an advantage? Why not let that become our strength? Realizing that if simply thinking about something can change the trajectory of how we view the world, it can be transformative to simply minimize the bad thoughts and focus on good ones.

Have you ever thought about how delicate the line we walk between not caring enough and caring too much. For example, to feel like existence is pointless, right? Everything's bad. There's no reason to try. That makes it hard to get off the couch, right, lacking that purpose. But then, on the entire other end of the spectrum, to feel like life is riding on every step, to feel like we're not allowed the flexibility or leeway to make mistakes. Life matters too much. much. That also severely limits how we live, just in a different way. And so I want to explore how do we find that middle ground? How do we find that picture in our heads that puts us right where we need to be? The idea that, of course, today is important. Life is a beautiful

opportunity to extract meaning from the world around you, to build something that matters. But It's also no checklist. It's no standardized test. No, it's more of a game. We shouldn't be walking around with the weight of the world on our shoulders because that doesn't help anyone. Let's face it, life is just not all that serious. As a good friend of mine, Steve always says to me, you know, we are sacks of meat on a rock floating through an infinite, ever-expanding universe, and nothing matters.

I've heard him say that a million times, right? Let's go, let's do it. Nothing matters. Let's make it happen. And I'm 100% get it. It's a check against the idea that the world will collapse if we screw up. That if we drop the ball, it's over. Kind of pointing to the fact that the only way to truly lose in life

is to look back and realize we were too serious. scared to live. And so in that context, absolutely I'm on the nothing matters bandwagon. But here's the deal about this video or podcast episode, however you're consuming it. In a perfect world, it's a buffet, not a menu. It's an opportunity for you to think, to reflect, to pick and choose the pieces here that will help move you along. Because after all, you know, we're all walking different paths. So how could one person present a person present a a one-size-fits-all solution to anything. No, the goal is to understand the framework by which we operate, to understand that the thoughts we think have a monumental impact on how we live. And so if you

find yourself on the uninspired side of things, know that there's not a problem with you. You just haven't found a path that lights you up. You are perhaps focusing on the wrong things, right? Not leaving space for the right ones. And if you find yourself constantly smothered by the weight of your own expectations, if every little step, decision, or movement matters too much, know that you are perhaps creating adversaries that don't exist. That you are right where you need to be, but you have to let yourself live, experience life. You know, one of the most beautiful Victor Franco quotes I've ever heard. He says, ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. There is so much

power packed into this idea. It's like when you look around and see the outside world backing you into a corner, dictating to you how things should be, remember that you don't take orders from the external world. You create the external world when all you see is negative. When all you feel are reasons to turn back, when the good in life is hiding away, reach out and find the positive. The one thing that can pick you up and carry you forward. And look, I'm not advocating that we live in this state of delusion. I'm not saying close your eyes, cover your ears, and pretend everything's great. I'm saying every day, every situation provides at least one thing you need to be closer to where you want to be. And it just so happens that we're not always inclined to see that one

thing, that solution. It just so happens that we need to become aware to remind ourselves. So this is your reminder to look for it. Your reminder to focus on the things that lift you up, that breathe life into you, not the things that keep you down. And so here's to finding that sweet spot, right? Walking the line between Victor Frankel's meaning starts with you. And my old pal Steve's mantra, nothing matters. So go live your life.

This is not a race. If you're not being graded on the outcome here, you're giving yourself permission to experience that jolt you get when you open your eyes as the sun comes up each morning, knowing that how you're about to spend your time will be a product of the game you designed. A game in which, yes, you'll feel lost from time to time. You'll lose that North Star,

every so often, you'll question the journey you're on. But guess what? When you take responsibility for the circumstance, you also empower yourself to right the ship. You're at the wheel playing the game of life as it was meant to be played on your charge. If it does not serve you, let it go. If it doesn't help you move beyond it.

As Connemond states, our thoughts grossly over-exaggerate that reality on the ground. So let that framework emphasize your passion, your strength and your dreams, not the inverse. What we focus on, we get. So believe in yourself with such conviction that those around you look on and wonder what gave you the right to see those things. What made you think it was okay to believe in that which you believe? You never got a permission slip in the mail? You never stumbled upon a permit that granted you access to the good things in life. No, you just came to understand the game and how it's played. You came to see that we have options,

the option to find the bad and the option to find the good. The choice to see why you can't and the choice to see why you will. That's what will separate you from both your past self and those looking on from afar. See, change is never a product of magic as people seem to think. No, most often, it's taking on the challenge of seeing what is not yet there. stepping into the arena with possibility with the upside so today see it focus on it lock it in and don't let go with everything you have all that's within you don't let go for everything tomorrow can be for everything you have always been don't let go one of the greatest things

about life is that how you perceive it determines what you get from it. The lens through which you look at the world roadmaps your success. All we are is a compilation of the things we see and the beliefs we hold. Which brings me to a very interesting question. Why are human being so inclined to limit themselves and their abilities? Why do we bring life to stopping points to barriers that simply are not there? not there. See, in the world we know every day of our lives is consumed by rules, laws, limitations. If I throw a rock into the air, it's going to hit a certain point, come to a

stop and fall back down to earth. That's science. That result can be mathematically proven and there's really no debate about it. The issue, though, and one of the most tragic elements of human behavior is when that exact certainty, that limitation, that limitation is that is that is applied to potential, because potential is not a thing. Potential is an idea. Visualize someone who just completed a six-minute mile, right? It's pretty good time, something to be proud of. The question, though, is what tangible evidence, what proof does that individual have that they couldn't have run 559, or 550, 530? So often we stop because we believe we've done enough. We're comfortable right where we are. We know what the standard is and we act

accordingly. But just imagine a life without these false pretenses. Imagine the possibilities that exist for those who set their own standards. It truly is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. Going back a few years, when Henry Ford first created the automobile, He said that if he would have asked the world what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Because that was the standard. A new possible hadn't been defined yet. And this supports the fact that reality is whatever you decide it's going to be. Right?

That mentality has been held by anyone who's made a positive impact on society. Anyone who's exceeded expectations. Unlike that rock flying through the air, there's no defined stopping point. for you other than the one you give yourself. And today is about taking that stopping point and making it disappear. It's about innovation, having the courage to step into the unknown, to push,

to do the things that most people wouldn't. Because most people are confined to those self-induced limitations. But they don't need to be. Right? There are two ways to look at any situation, to simply exist through it or to have an impact, to be the defining piece, to do something memorable.

And every day is an opportunity to become that standard. But you have to first believe you are. Believe that your capabilities and talents stretch far beyond what is right in front of you. Believe that possibilities are limitless. And you will see the world transform right in front of it. It'll be an incredible sight to see. Don't you dare reach for your pocket, I told myself. In fact, take that phone and go put it in another room.

Shut your internet off, set your devices to do not disturb and think. Please think. You are losing yourself to distraction. As Cal Newport puts it, you know, we're in a war. in a world that demands more thought, more deep work than ever before, while we all simultaneously become more and more incapable of that focus. And to me, it feels like more than a chuckle at our outrageous screen time or a self-deprecating joke about how reliant we are on our phones.

The dopamine hit, you know, I think it's antithetical overall to what we need. to where we find our purpose, which is a dichotomy that's frustratingly true with so many things. That balance for me to have a digital business that means so much to me that I'm so proud of, but also tiptoeing around that same digital world like it's a hungry lion capable of devouring me. That's a real feeling. It's water that's foundational for life, but in too large a quantity, will kill. It's the sun that while integral and responsible for this planet as we know it, also has no problem ending, you know, anything that's too openly exposed to its rays, to its heat.

There's always a sweet spot between too much and not enough. That happy medium, that intersection is why we're all here. Because when I don't take time to deep, think when I lose the big picture, I remain in a cycle of routine. And sometimes that's great, right? Morning routine is great. I don't really have to think about it. I'm programmed. Things like driving a car, as Duhigg explains in the power of habit,

your foot stepping on the gas. It's involuntary, and thank God for that. But one must be able to step outside that loop and ask the big picture questions. we have to make time to at least roughly chart the course. And it'll change. Life will present its obstacles, but we'll have at least parsed out what matters and what doesn't.

When life is all habit and reflex, when you've lost the ability to examine the self because one minute alone with your thoughts is agonizing, well, you won't be able to see past the source. surface of who you are and what you're capable of. I want to be clear here, this is not me complaining about perhaps the most prosperous society ever to exist. This is me saying, you know, there are some dangers that we way too easily overlook. That when you outsource your thinking, you outsource your future. And it's not hard to fall into that trap. I just referenced the book Deep Work a few

minutes ago. I think it's one of the most important books someone can read in this day and age, you know, Cal Newport talking about separating ourselves from distraction. I remember the day I first listened to that book, I was sick, so I wasn't on my usual run. I was walking and because of that, I felt this urge to, as the book was playing, to reach into my pocket and check for notifications. And it really was eye-opening. It's like we are scared to completely immerse ourselves in solitude. But solitude is where we uncover so much. Silence is where we hear what our souls have to say.

It's where we understand who we are. My favorite Joseph Campbell quote, The cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. And man, I hate to say it, but I think being alone, even for a short period of time, is that monster lurking in the cave. You know, the one we're scared to confront, even though it's what we need.

Solitude is the demon we are consistently masking in a constant influx of media and small talk, and DMs and emails. You know, that stuff has its value, but it's not real. In the sense that I find it disconnected from purpose, So here's something that I've been doing, and you know, I would suggest that you give it a try. It's been certainly helpful in my life and start small, even if it's 15 minutes, but take a walk by yourself. No phone.

And it's challenging at first because, you know, you want to be consuming something. Even if it's, you know, educational, valuable, still, right? No phone. Solitude. Think about life. Think about who you are. Think about what you've always wanted and where your current reality aligns.

Think about how much you have and how lucky you are. Think about any or all of these things, but think. Let your mind go where amidst the push and pull of life, you don't often let it wander. For example, some thoughts from my walk today, some of it random sporadic noise, some of it more valuable than others, but all of it valuable,

because the process in its entirety is valuable. You know, I spend some time thinking about the week ahead, the things I'm excited about and how to prepare for them, and realize one of them I didn't want to do. I then had that debate with myself, well, do I not want to do it because it doesn't align with my goals or because it makes me uncomfortable? Came to the conclusion that I think it's the latter,

so it's staying in my schedule, but I'll reassess. I thought about Florida. I consistently think about how lucky I am to be down here after living in so many cold places. It's just such a beautiful environment, and you know one that I don't take for granted. I thought about a statement I just heard from a professional athlete after his surgery talking about how hard it was on him,

but that he would rise from the ashes, and he would have the best year of his life. And, you know, my mind went to one of the first year. of the most important rules of leadership that it's not about you or your rise or fall, right? To lead is to make it about the team, about the overall goal and how grateful I was to come across that video, to see that and really dissect it. You know, sometimes the best ways we learn is by seeing what not to do, right? And I'll take that with me. I'll take that understanding with me on my own journey.

Last thing I remember, I thought about some of the books I've been consuming. I've taken in an insane amount of books over the years, but I practically stopped reading physical books, right? And now I consume mostly unaudible or other audiobook methods. Maybe wonder whether the value is equivalent. How much that varies from person to person, maybe something to research later, right? That's all I remember as I sit here now, but the point is, you know, this is stuff that If I don't immerse myself in solitude and break through the barrier of boredom, I don't get to.

And maybe you go through a week where you don't find much. But as the saying goes, right, one idea, one concept, one epiphany can truly change the dynamic of your life. It could change everything. There are answers just beyond the realm of distraction we operate in. Some of them pertain to trivialities like the audiobooks in the cold front. Some of them pertain to your goals and your development, who you are, where you're going, and how you'll get there. As Newport says, to simply wait and be bored has become a novel experience in modern life. And while his emphasis and focus is primarily on work and creating an environment to be productive,

I want to suggest that it's not only our work that needs saving, but ourselves. We can't lose touch with what matters most. We can't become so shallow in our thoughts and our actions that the beauty remains buried away. There is something in you that's untapped, unfinished, raw talent or desire. There are pieces of you that need to be assembled. And if left alone, will wither away, unremarkably, quietly, and probably without your noticing. So my ask is that you think of this as more than me cheering on long walks.

It's not about the walks, right? It's about time alone with yourself and what that opens up for you. It's about recognizing the spaces we need to carve out from the outside world. So that when we re-enter the outside world, we know who is. we are, we understand where we're headed. We don't go where the wind blows. We are able, as the saying goes, to adjust our sails to get to our destination. All you need is more time with you. Eight lessons to live by. Number one, remind yourself to see those things we've taught ourselves not to see. The things that don't directly correlate to money or status or ascension

up some social hierarchy, underneath those things are what keeps us alive. Keep our souls lit, our eyes open, our days meaningful. We don't think we need music to invigorate the soul. We don't think we need wind on our face or sand on our feet. We don't think we need to shut the world off so we can hear ourselves think. Now we fall into the trap of believing that beautiful is a luxury. It's not. It's why we're here. And it's not about being anti-money or status or whatever your goals are.

But it is about realizing that those things without beauty and art and nature and calm are empty. They're a plane without wings, lungs without air. The things we have taught ourselves not to see are the things we need above all else. Number two, you are stronger than you think you are. You are made to endure. It's a pave, a path, find a way, rise to the occasion. And we know this when it's easy. but we forget when it's not.

When the world feels stacked against us. When you're writing things, no one reads, saying things, no one hears, making things no one sees. When you know you have somewhere to go but aren't sure where that is, know you need to evolve into something but have no idea what?

This is when you need to know that you have everything you need. It's not about finding new pieces. It's about arranging the ones in your hand. Like smoke expands to fill any room, your potential can expand to conquer any obstacle you are stronger than you think you are. Number three, some things are beyond our control. But being ready for the opportunity when it comes our way is very much in our control. And maybe it takes a day, a month, a year, long, You can't control that. You can't control the path of that firefly, but when it lights up and comes your way,

you can have the jar ready and the lid off. You can be well-read, well-prepared, rehearsed to the point of confidence, reliance on repetition and not hope. No endeavor is a coin flip when you use a double-headed quarter. One of the most valuable questions I've learned to ask. Because when and where in my life can I create those magic coins? Number four, we are at our best when we are moving towards something. Inaction has an opportunity cost that is more expensive than anyone wants to pay. Places I haven't gone, risks I haven't taken. They're the loss.

The dragon has the gold for a reason, and to avoid the former is to forfeit the latter. If we are not growing, we are dying. So as Emerson suggested, find a star to hitch your wagon to. And even when the world forces detours upon you, inserts roadblocks, or temporarily covers that star up altogether. Remember that it's still there, shining as bright as it ever has, waiting for you to reorient yourself. Remember who you are and carry on. carry on. Number five, when it's your fault, you are in control. I used to hide behind the notion that bad grades were because of a bad teacher. That missing the promotion was because of the

boss. That an inability to influence was because the world didn't understand. And to whatever degree these things may be true, we win when we dial them back to zero. If your bad grades are completely your fault, you'll better prepare. If your lack of promotion falls entirely on your shoulders, you'll find ways to add more value. If your inability to influence is because you're missing the mark, you'll stop projecting yourself onto the world and start asking the world how you can serve. Before it can become an opportunity, it has to first become your responsibility to grow we have to plant roots where it hurts, where the eagle lives, where we have to first be humbled, then we can accelerate vertically.

Number six, if it means something to you, there is value. It's not stupid. Just because they don't get it doesn't mean that they shouldn't. Just because it's not happening today doesn't mean it won't be tomorrow. Life is a lot like six-year-olds playing soccer. Everyone chases the ball because that's what we're told. That's where the attention is. That's what's flashy.

But as an outside midfielder most of my life, I know that some of the most potent attack sequences manifest on the outside of the field and then are re-centered. To run up the sideline without the ball is to see what happens before it happens. The magic is created in the empty space before it translates to the high traffic, high reward areas. And just because you're metaphorically running without the ball doesn't mean you're not in prime position to have monumental impact. You're not reacting. You are creating. Don't forget that.

Number seven, nothing is mandatory. Everything we do, we choose where we are, who we're with, how we spend. our time and it's easy to look around and think we are programmed to exist between specific parameters. We're not. And often we don't see until life forces a change upon us how much flexibility we have in life. Now sure change obviously brings with it its challenges. New questions, uncertainties, new places to map and people to meet that as Mark Manson says there is no problem free life. No, the beauty of life is that we get to choose which problems we will spend our time solving. Problems to solve are what make life meaningful. So if you're looking around and not seeing

what you want to see, you're not stuck. You're simply solving the wrong problems. Perhaps it's time to find some new ones. In number eight, tomorrow is not your answer. It's your problem. Tomorrow is your excuse to wait, to hold off to rationalize stagnation. Tomorrow is the status quo. It's a fresh new coat of paint on a car that won't run. We're a new roof on a house with a cracked foundation. Tomorrow can only tell the story that has acted out today.

That means without stepping into the limelight right now, in the immediate, in the present, there will be no story. If stories aren't made tomorrow, they're made now. So let's stop expecting the messenger to be the author. And let's take fate into our own hands, write our own headlines during the only moment we'll ever have. The present one. So let the rest of the world dance around tomorrow.

That's not where your mind should be. You should be working on the melody. melody of today. So I recently came across a quote. It says, I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. It made me think about sort of an undervalued aspect of growth or progress. It is the idea that we're not supposed to have the answers. We're not supposed to know. Life is more about the ability, right, the mental fortitude to be able to take what comes at you, the highs, the lows, the ups, the downs, understand them, adjust your strategy and move on, right? Because there are things about the world that you can't

change. There are things about the world that we're not going to like. It's no secret. There's a lot of suffering in life. And it's the ability to, you know, take that and rise above it to create something of substance that ultimately defines us, right, that makes or breaks us. I can personally look back and think about the times that perfection was my enemy. I didn't want to start a new venture or release some content or, you know, you can fill in the blank. I didn't want to do it because I told myself it wasn't perfect. Well, perfect is really a mask, you know, for insecurity. It's a top layer. It's being scared. It's being fearful. You don't have to know the answers. And in fact, the most beautiful things around us,

the most important things around us, right, the creators of those things, their founders, they didn't know exactly how life would unfold. They didn't know that. They had a vision. And most important, they had belief in themselves to adjust. They knew that things wouldn't be perfect. They knew that life wouldn't roll out a red carpet, but they also knew that within themselves was the power and the strength to make the most of any situation to learn and to move on.

Life is about adjusting your sales. And I feel like it gets lost in the, ether. Like people don't talk about adjusting as much as they talk about planning, consistency, right? All these things that are super important, but they're half the battle. Because things don't go the way we drew them up. And the ones who get discouraged and disheartened, well, as they're going through the process, they look around and go, wait a minute, this is tough. This isn't what I planned. You know, when it's in one's ability, to understand that, of course, it's not, you know, how you planned it.

That's not what it's about. Winning and losing is about finding a way to win despite the setbacks, the obstacles, the highs, the lows, the lows and the ups and the downs. So what does this mean, right? Where's the impact? Where's the value? Well, it means more focus should be on simply starting, simply putting yourself in a position to let life come at you so you can react to it, then sitting there waiting for the perfect launch pad because there is no perfect moment just like there is no perfect path there is an individual and his or her ability to make the most of the

situation put yourself in that position allow life to happen and believe that you're capable of managing those components because you are and maybe it's struggle at first you know it's it's like the recipe doesn't change, the context changes. There will always be challenges. It's their magnitude and the context in which they happen that changed. But once you learn to handle that, once you learn that, hey, look, it's life. It really puts you in a place to live a more productive, healthy, happy existence. You have the power within yourself to do amazing things. Let it happen. You have to see it. before they do.

You have to believe it before they will. You have to be the architect of your plans and your goals because no one will build them for you. And that's just it. In a world where victimhood is becoming currency and blame is becoming the norm, we have a choice.

Create a temporary, fleeting, or create a life that matters. You know how much easier it is to project out at the world? To never have to look in the mirror and address the things you could be doing better? You know how much easier it is to hate him or her or them over there? To make up stories and scenarios about how much different life would be if it would be. It wasn't for A, B, and C holding you back. I mean, short term, it's like winning the lottery, right?

You don't have to take any accountability. You don't have to have tough conversations with yourself. You don't have to reflect on the painful memories or decisions. No, you can put your feet up. Sit back, point at the world and say, look what they made me do, if only. But here's what's not being said. Every time you point your finger away from your own chest, every time you project blame, you're letting yourself down.

Why? Because we only grow when we take accountability. And yeah, accountability can be painful, uncomfortable. But in that discomfort exists the only bridge to a better tomorrow. That's it. You go to the gym, you put your muscles through stress. You break them down so that they can be built back up stronger. Personal responsibility cannot be the muscle we refuse to build. There's too much at stake.

It can't be the thing you avoid. Why? Because it's what injects meaning into our lives. I'll never forget in the eighth grade. And I bet every single person in that class still to this day remembers. My teacher, Mr. Betancourt, walking up to the front of the classroom, he had his hands in a bowl shape and was holding it up to the ceiling, explaining to us that you can't go through life asking the world to give you its scraps.

That if you sit and you wait and you hope and you blame, you will lose. That's the recipe for bitterness and resentment. Think of it like a fork in the road. Where our two options are vastly different. You go left at the fork and you enter a world of escapism, refusing to confront your problems, finding reasons you can't do that which you know you need to do, hating others, those who have built, grown, or created themselves.

Or, you can't. go right at the fork. You learn to do the hard thing, to humble yourself, to take control of your life and your world. When things aren't the way you want them to be, you look around and you immediately ask, things outside of my control may have brought me here, but what can I do to fix it?

Those of you have been listening to me for a while, you probably know my favorite articulation of this idea. It was explained by Will Smith. Basically, he said, look, you can't control where you start and how true that is, right? Life's not fair. Some people are born into more resources and opportunity. Some people find themselves in social situations that aren't ideal, and that list can go on and on and on, right? Human beings are all different, so there will always be discrepancy.

But, and this is Will Smith's point, where you go from here, will always be your responsibility. What happens next is all you. You choose whether to complain, shake your fist at the sky, and blame the world around you, or pick the pieces up and move forward. And like I said a minute ago, don't be fooled by the temptation to latch on

to that fleeting moment of relief of running from accountability. way to win in the long run is to face your demons. It's that whole saying when you're riding shotgun, you can dispute the route all you want, but ultimately it's the driver who's in control. When will you take the wheel in your own life? Ensure the stakes become higher, right? Now it's on you. Now you can get lost. Now you're responsible for the maintenance. Now if you don't end up the the right place or I don't know you're late to a destination it's your fault but now you can also be the one overseeing the journey now it's yours and that's

power and as our world becomes more and more one of escapism it's becoming more prevalent easier to avoid or not fix something but tweet about it how easy it is to not confront our problems, but rather open Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and mindlessly scroll, how easy it is to leave that message on red and go about our lives, because that's easier than saying what needs to be said. Strength is being the one amidst all this escapism and avoidance to confront what must be confronted. Whether it's an interaction with someone else or that hard conversation with yourself, a personal change that must take place.

Life is such a gift, it's such an opportunity, but we have to move through it with our eyes open. We have to see things that matter and gravitate towards truths that will shape us. Like Mr. B said, over 20 years ago now, we can't ever fall into the mentality of holding our hands up to the sky and asking life to give us anything. We can't only point it ourselves when things go the way we want them to go. No, let's be about accountability, empowerment, understanding that if I don't like what's around me, the transformation starts now and it starts with me. That wasn't perfect, I never will be, but I can learn, I can evolve,

and most importantly, I have everything I need to make that happen. It's all awareness. The victimhood idea is a wolf in sheep's clothing. And I know that may seem harsh, maybe even lacking empathy. But dropping that narrative was truly the best thing I've done in my life. And I know countless others who would say the same. You can't be both a perpetual victim and be in control. No.

Life is tough. It knocks us down and at times it brings us to our knees. knees, but this is a reminder that you cannot stay there. It's a reminder that those who contributed to the situation are now minor detail and background noise. It's a reminder that the path forward is about you. It's about you pushing all that aside and asking yourself what's required to move in the direction that I most want to go. Because you are that powerful. You are strong enough to make that move. And there will be a point

where you look around you and the circumstances of change. The people are different. The environment is different. You're different. And you'll smile at yourself knowing it's not because of what the world provided. It's not because of what anyone gave you.

It's not because of what people out there did or didn't do. No, it's because when you were at your lowest, When life was presenting curveball after curveball, when you looked around and maybe even thought to yourself, there's no way forward here. You found a way to get up and create something new.