Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - DISCIPLINE YOUR EMOTIONS | Powerful Motivational Speeches | Wake Up Positive

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being lost is not about what you don't have. It's about temporarily forgetting what you do have. Forgetting that contained within every dark room is a little light switch that hangs within an arm's reach. And see, the reason this is so powerful, the reason it's been so important to me, It's because every time I'm in a lull or navigating a low point like we all do, I remember something that acts as that hand to pull me back up. I remember that everything I need, I have. See, I used to use the word stock as to imply immobility,

being powerless to the outside world, when in reality, I just had to remind myself that the path to recreation is always in front of me. And the map needed to navigate is always folded up in my back pocket. In essence, what I learned is that helpless is not a situation. Helpless is a decision. And one I'd simply never choose. Life's challenges.

They are not a display. of your insufficiency. No, they are a reminder of just how powerful you are. If you never let yourself fall, hit a low, or lose your way, you'd never get to see the miracle that is your resiliency. You'd never get to look in the mirror and see the reflection that is the conqueror of worlds and the slayer of dragons. You'd never get to climb the mountain. You'd never get to climb the mountain from which you'd ultimately look down and see a world of your making. Why is it that the average person seeks out the advice of what feels like a million people before consulting himself?

Knocking, looking, hoping, is he looking for answer or looking for permission to be who he already knows he is? Is he looking for insight or just validation that his reflection is in fact okay? See I think we all deep down know who we are, know what drives us. And even if we don't know exactly what the destination looks like our hearts know the direction best suited to begin the person. So how is it so easy to forget? Why do we get our antennas crossed? See, when life becomes about meeting requirements and fulfilling obligations, checking off boxes,

and checking in on time, we forget the basics. We forget to live for ourselves. As if our job is to play a part, not direct the movie. And playing apart is living up to expectations, directing the movie, well, that's creating your own expectations. world, your world, it belongs to you. It's a world with both unimaginable happiness, bliss moments of ecstasy, and the occasional suffering, chaos that we have to navigate through.

But I think all of it comes down to whether you trust yourself to live it for yourself. To remove the shackles, take the training wheels off, stop asking permission and do what you've always known was the right thing. That part never changed. It just had to wait amidst all you're looking for external direction, for you to pause and find the internal courage. Freedom is not a life without chaos. It's trusting yourself to determine which dragons you will slay.

It's not a life without battles, but fighting those battles that result in your liberation, dismissing the oppressors that build fences in your mind and chains around your soul. I've thought a lot about the idea of a life well-lived. What it means, how it feels, and it seems to me it's about intentionality. Where are you going? It's not that you can escape suffering or eliminate fear.

It's not that you'll avoid getting lost along the way, but it's the why. Why we endure these things makes all the difference. Is it for a better tomorrow or simply to get through today? It's amazing. Accidentally stumbling upon that which scares you and intentionally facing that which scares you are so different that their occurrences trigger completely different neural networks in the brain.

See, overcoming fear is ingrained in us. We want to grow, we want to evolve, we need more. The question is whether you will step out of the line that someone else made for you and live a life that is your own. And if it's crazy, great. Let it be crazy. If it's unique, perfect.

Stand out. And if it scares you, my God, if it scares you, don't turn back. Don't you dare turn back. Give yourself the most important permission one can give, the permission to follow your intuition and your curiosity into tomorrow. Let the stakes be higher, but the rewards be meaningful. Let the chaos be your own to tame and to master. Every twist, every turn becomes not only a part of you,

but a chapter in the story of your becoming. And as the seed you've held in your hand for so long finally meets the earth and grows so high that it connects you to the heavens, remember that this is your life. It's your obligation to live it fully. A lot can change with the words. It's okay.

My moon is not the same as their moon, and that's, well, it's okay. Same playing field. Just different rules. Same sky, different constellations, same clouds, different shapes. We need not permission to follow that star that lights up our world. Just a willingness, a comfortability, just a curiosity. Because where the right path provides clues, the wrong one gives instructions. And over time, the difference between the two accumulates.

It becomes substantial. Your journey should give you just enough. The moon's radiant should highlight the hand in front of your face, reveal that potential next step. It should expose the option to be. right in front of you and that is enough. And sure, sometimes it feels like it would be nice to know to walk an easier path.

One that's not your own, have everything lit up, no questions, no mystery, and while there's comfort in taking this path, it's not yours. It's not your journey, it's not your moon, it's not your light, and it won't reveal your answers. So feel free to leave, to walk away, because it's okay.

It's okay to not have the answers. It's okay to follow a gut feeling. It's okay to leave the old in pursuit of the new. It's okay to want more, and it's okay to not know where more is. It's okay. I often think if a courageous few are the reason that I'm not writing these words out

with a quill pen by candlelight, then think about what my own small acts of courage could become. Why not believe, start, try, put myself out there? Why change or concede or surrender to a set of standards that aren't mine put in place by people who aren't me? Their moon is not the same as my moon, their path is not my path. And if I'm choosing between seeing a world that I've settled for in its totality, or seeing one that actually means something as it's slowly piece together. I'm taking the ladder every time.

Well, how do you know it will work out? The brain asks, the heart you don't. And I think that's exactly how you know you're in the right place. It's when you have all the answers, the certainty, and the reassurance in the world that, well, something may be missing. Not missing from the external, but missing from within. as you move through the external. It's the classic square peg in a round hole.

In the very reason we should carry on is because it's better to be a square peg in search of a home than to be whatever it is that would keep us safe, quiet, and securely contained within a square box. It's not that my way is right and your way is wrong, it's that for me to live I must find my way and you, yours. Because a life lived according to someone else's rules is a house built on sand. It may be stunning, extravagant,

it may not warn a second look from someone passing by, but it only takes time to reveal the inherent flaw. It doesn't matter what you build if it's on top of a bad foundation, it will ultimately come down. Time will take it down. So be weary of where you decide to plant your stake in the ground. Be thoughtful about where your feet take you and the concessions you allow in your life. We often think permission is what separates the present from the ideal. What I've learned is that time keeps coming, permission does not. To live, to live. To live, Live fully is a self-appointment. There is no letter that comes in the mail explaining this.

Although sometimes I catch myself waiting for its arrival. Where the crowd goes, my instinct begs me to follow. Where the comfort lives, my predisposition is to knock on the door. I'm human. But I know that to resist what comfort offers is the battle of a life. time. Their moon is not mine. Their solutions will not fix my problems. I have a puzzle to put together, a masterpiece to assemble as do you. So embrace your world. Follow your rules. Howl at your moon. Because if you do it right, it will be different. It will be different. It will be

be yours and that's not just okay it's what makes life worth living why is it that when we look back on our lives it's never the easy days or the simplicity it's not the calm that changes our reality or makes us who we are don't get me wrong calm and simplicity they're wonderful but they're not transformative and why would they be why would we change or seek to obtain more without a reason or incentive. It's times of struggle, of turbulence. It's when life was hard that we had to rethink who we are. Reshape the way we look at the world.

Because without chaos, you don't get calm. Without the storm, you don't get those crazy neon colors and golden rays. It leaves as it passes by. In order to triumph in any capacity or any area of life, there's always a sacrifice that must be made. The adversity is the fire that forges the iron. There's a saying hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.

It's a cycle. This is generally used in a sociopolitical sense, and I, I think in a lot of ways it applies today, but where I've really found it useful, where I've found value in it is at the personal level. Because what I've noticed is that growth also appears to have a cyclical nature. And when we're in a rough situation or overcoming an obstacle, we have to push, we fight, we grow. Sometimes without even realizing it, we achieve a result. And by default, this transformation that,

in one way or another makes us something new. But then it becomes easy to level out, right? And that's the challenge. It creates this period of stagnation. It's like we made the jump and it becomes real easy to stay there and that's why I have found value in when life is not providing resistance to manufacture some. Because that's the only way to grow. Progress is happiness. Victor Frankel and Mansearch for meaning, you know, he says purpose is to find from struggle. If things are too calm or simple or quiet, life begins to lack meaning and that's never a spot we want to be. Life is about the pursuit of something. You just have to figure out what that blank will be. You get to decide which mountain to climb.

There's a story about a butterfly making its way out of a cocoon. It makes a little hole. It starts attempting to push its way out. Someone walks by, they see it struggling, and open the cocoon up to help the butterfly out, right, thinking that they did this great deed. But in doing so, that butterfly has now lost its ability to use its wings to fly. Why? Because the strength that was necessary to fly would have been forged when he fought his way out.

The butterfly was deprived of the very thing it needed to become something more, and that's the point. It's easy to get lost in the now and seek to eliminate everything that doesn't make the moment more comfortable, to remove that which doesn't make things easier. But whether we're talking about collectively or the complacency in our individual lives, we have to remember that avoiding discomfort isn't the answer.

When your biggest problem is Amazon taking five days to deliver or that your feelings are hurt by someone's comments or opinions on social media, you've lost track of, yourself. You may be living in a world lacking the resistance necessary for growth. Maybe it's time to ask what matters. And I remember when I lived in Boston, I'd walk around listening to podcast downtown, and I'll never forget here Ryan Holiday differentiating between passion and purpose. He called passion temporary, a dopamine hit. It's the excitement before the project

begins, the beginning of a journey, the honeymoon fate. But passion alone, fall short. And it falls short because anything worthwhile is hard. It tests us. It repeatedly presents us with those metaphorical cocoons we have to fight. We have to earn our stripes, grow our wings, and if we stop at passion, there's no reason to battle on, to take the punches, knowing that they will create for us a tomorrow full of infinite possibility and that's where we need purpose. That's why it matters. We need something bigger to march towards. A destination that's meaningful. To remind us that those challenging times, they're not a burden. There is no poor me here. They're the fire that sharpens us.

that whispers to us not only the importance of carrying on, but the power contained within ourselves to do so. This world, it is not stacked against you. It's never the problem or the obstacle. No, it's the opportunity laid out at your feet. And it's in those very times when we're uncomfortable, when we're unsure, when we don't know where to draw our strength.

That we need to remember it comes within. It's an idea that is brought to life through courage, through understanding, through the trials and tribulations of life that didn't intimidate or hold you back, knowing that life has given you everything you need to blaze your trail. So don't be afraid to let it take you somewhere new. You're right where you need to be. Sure, you have your doubt. Perhaps you feel tired, alone, fearful.

Maybe you're trying to make sense of a world that feels too complex. Or all you see and here are reasons to turn back, to find shelter, to run, don't. Regardless of how hard it seems, don't. You are right where you need to be. Turning thoughts to things, making life from dreams, what makes change so interesting. So powerful yet deceptive is that it comes to us in small doses. Not a tidal wave of transformation, but a slow, steady, rising tide of progress.

No one feels the tug of erosion, yet it chips away. And so do you. Removing piece by piece, behold you. The world you're moving away from, and piece by piece, you unveil the promise of your becoming. You may not see the whole picture. You may not understand the whole story, but right now, in real time, it's being told.

And you are right where you know. We just weren't equipped to understand what that looks like. It's never been what you see that makes you uneasy. It's what's missing. That's what hurts. The solutions you wanted, the changes you expected, the finish lines you envisioned. It's the wondering, how long must I wait? Did I make a wrong turn is the joke on me? But it's this line of questioning that causes so many to stop.

Unaware of how close they were, ignorant to the foundation they were standing on. What you need is not a miracle. It's to simply carry on. to keep laying those bricks because not a one is wasted. And sometimes you don't realize you're on the 80th floor until you look down. That climb can be frustrating, exhausting. It isn't always glamorous, but it's necessary.

And strength comes from understanding that truth. You are right where you need to be. The world, it can't take what you refuse to give it, and self-belief is non-negotiable. It's off the table, your most prized possession. So hold it tight, because it'll be needed when the journey feels long and the road impossible. You'll know that you can always take one step forward, and that is the essence of life, of growth, of progress. Think about the steps, the lessons, the self-discovery that led you to this inner, section of now and forever. This beginning of whatever you decide comes next. You are right where

you need to be because you are armed with the decisions that brought you to today and the courage to let them carry you into tomorrow. You could be anywhere, but you're here. And as you strap up and settle in, you'll see that right here is everything. I found a quote the other day. The time heals nothing unless you move along with it. I thought, well, that makes perfect sense. You can't pursue a new reality, a new world, unless you can detach and depart from the current one.

But that's in theory. And my question was, Is it the destination or the path that holds us back? Because in my experience, the greatest struggle in life, it isn't what to do, it's knowing how to do it. How do we get there? We know we need to get back up. But how?

How do we initiate a spark and create momentum and take that world of black and white and add color? Because those times, of gray when life seems to lose its purpose we find ourselves simply existing and not living that's when we need answers and I guess this quote it jumped out at me because it prompted an equally important question right which is now what and I started thinking a few years back 2017 probably the most difficult year of my life it was void of you know many of that beautiful

nuance, the uplifting moments that we like to remember when we look back. For me, it was, you know, essentially an ended relationship, was relocating away from family and friends, was having a few dollars in my bank account, everything I own in a trailer, and starting over. And what I'll never forget about that experience, you know, in totality, was that I saw it colorless, bland, dark. Essentially the road ahead had lost that glimmer that had once had. See, I used to get so much joy in telling stories. But life had kicked me around so hard that I, at least for the moment, forgot the point. Like, what was my reason? And I knew, like I said, what I had to do, but I couldn't wrap my arms around the how. How do you get the train moving again

And then I got this email, right? And I'm going to paint a picture for you. New apartment, trash, there's stuff everywhere, suitcases open. I hadn't shaved in two weeks. I'm exhausted, couldn't sleep, sitting there, frustrated with my laptop. And the email is basically someone looking to create a documentary asking if they could stay with me for three days and create a film about always maintaining discipline and living a productive life. and I just erupted into laughter, right?

I don't think Seinfeld could have written something more ironic. It was just, it made no sense. But it caused me to reflect, right? I obviously declined the video. It just wouldn't have felt right or accurate in that moment. But I started to think, how was there such a gap between the old me and who I was sitting on that bed? Is this the new me? And if it's not, why have I allowed this imposter to stay so long?

I've always said a life changes one decision away. A light switch away. Just reach out and find it. And when you're going through times like this, it's funny. Life has a way of doing its best to conceal the beauty. It's like it becomes this black in white painting and it stays that way. It stays that way until you put color into it. One brush stroke at a time.

Because life is intimidating when you see everything you're not. When the blank canvas feels like emptiness and not opportunity. But life doesn't require of you the whole picture. Masterpieces, they aren't made overnight. They're not instantaneous. They are a product of trust, of faith. Not in the canvas or the brush, but in the artist. Through his eyes, he's capable of transatlantic.

forming his experience into art, his misfortune into meaning. Victor Frankl uses the metaphor of a movie, each day being its own scene, where often they don't even come together until the very last act. Trust that. Believe that. But man, start painting. In the very next morning, like everyone, before it I woke up to a yellow beam of light making its way through a crack in the blinds

painting the wall of an otherwise dimly lit room but this time I saw it this time I didn't close the blinds I opened my eyes and sometimes that alone is the little hinge that swings a big door a door that I walked through and I saw the green of the palm trees the beauty the simplicity and thought, how lucky am I to be where I am when I am. I saw a blue sky, a miracle in its own right, that's not confined to story or narrative, and well, maybe I'm not either.

The white of the sidewalk leading me to wherever I choose to go next, the red of my running shoes hitting the pavement, the gold of the sun bouncing off the buildings, the black of a cup of warm coffee as I see. soak in the day and the teal chandelier that hangs over the horizon as the same sun that started it all retreats after a hard day's work see you have everything you need and life is not always perfect but it is always what you make it how things are it's not how they should be your need to be but how you've allowed them to be.

And most importantly, black and white does not describe reality so much as it describes what's not there. What's missing from reality. And my hope is to never conform to that sketch or outline that masquerades as truth, but to see beyond it.

To find the strength, the courage, the self-belief, to pick up the brush and live life in color. What exactly is an idea worth? Well, both nothing and everything.

You can have two people with the same idea. But there's absolutely no guarantee the results will be comparable. Right? It's the execution of that idea that brings the conceptual to life. See, a lot of people have

ideas of being great in a particular field. They have the idea to be fantastic business owners or improve or change their lives, yet few can accomplish this. Few succeed. And it's because it's the wheels hitting the road that get you to your destination. It's not just the map you pull out and study on your couch. That's what people miss, right? The details.

The carrying out or putting into effect. of a plan. Where you take those pieces, but then you make them mean something. That's where the room for error lives. That's where our outcomes are reached. That's what differentiates us. You know, there are certain things in life that change our outlook along the way. They become pillars in our lives.

And for me, this is one of them. The realization that ideas alone are powerless. To me, ideas are pieces of metal, and they can remain worthless. they can end up in a junkyard or used to build skyscrapers, 747s and Ferraris. The idea itself is just talk. It's entertainment. It's my commitment to carrying it out. That's everything.

That's where destiny is shaped. And in 2019, the work I'm doing in a digital age, most people have cell phones and access to fundamental resources, the access to attention. Everyone has ideas and the means to carry them out. But the best material rises to the top. Those who provide value emerges influential. And it's funny looking back, right? For years, I had an idea of what I wanted to build.

I knew what I wanted my platform to look like, what I wanted to say. But there was certainly an opportunity missed in the physicality of what I was doing, right? Tangibly bringing this thing to life. Was I paying close enough attention to the right things? Even now it was just on a mastermind call. discussing Instagram analytics with some good friends of mine. They're in the podcasting world. And we're going through the numbers.

And I'm deciphering between my overarching idea of what I have for my account and the reality of post engagement. It's amazing, right? That some posts resonate more than others. And looking at these numbers, it's like, ah, you got me. There was no rhyme or reason to some of the things, some of my strategy. And now I know there's opportunity in my execution. I feel like, you know, that's an example.

But that applies everywhere. It's great to have goals. You should. But the little things, the little steps, they should line up, right? They determine how quickly, if at all, you get to where you want to be. It's in the doing, the details, the execution of ideas that make you better than the next person, stronger. They give you the advantage, the lift, the value add. That's why being action-oriented is so critical.

Because a lot of the times there's not a single answer you need as badly as we want that. There's no perfect or flawless vision. Sometimes you really do need to just go and let the answers manifest. You move, you progress. And when you inevitably stumble, you become better equipped to execute. Your ability to differentiate yourself is enhanced. I just gave Instagram as an example. If I didn't move, right?

if I didn't just post, share my thoughts, put things out there, you know, I wouldn't have been able to look at and dissect what resonated, what didn't. And what were my little failures? What were my successes? What helped my brand? What didn't? Your idea is shaped by failures. But ideas alone, they don't do that for you.

In fact, a lot of people die with ideas. Untapped, unleveraged journeys that never started. It's that mobility, that movement that eliminates the odds of such a fate. Now, there's a tremendous truth to the statement that a lack of clarity is the enemy of progress. What I've come to learn, though, is that clarity is earned. It's fought for. I like to think of a chef, you know, standing over a table with all of his or her ingredients laid out. You know, that chef has to make a lot of terrible plates before he or she can decipher which ingredients give them what they want,

and what to leave out, what to add. It's progress in the phase of uncertainty that allows ideas to come to life. It allows the perfection of a craft, streamlines their execution. Because other chefs who don't endure that will only have their ideas, their concepts, the perfect meal or perfect restaurant,

but it's just a could have. So give less respect to the ideas coming into your head and more respect to the execution that allows those ideas to take shape, to be shared, let's be metaphorical chefs in our own world. Going, moving, having the courage to experiment with different recipes. Because yes, failing particularly, at first, it takes courage. But over time, it shows us the trail we were longing to take.

You can't get to your destination without experiencing the journey, so why not start traveling a little... So imagine you're sitting down, having something to eat, thinking, relaxing, reading, whatever you're doing. Someone walks up to the table across from you, pulls out the chair, sits down, kind of leans back, puts one leg over the other, casually tells you, you know,

you probably don't have what it takes to do anything significant in your life. What would you say? It would be outrageous, right? That's a ridiculous scenario. Well, let's say that the next day, you get up, you go to walk, run, work out, and he shows up again.

Starts running next to you, casually reminding you that the odds of you changing, doing anything for the better or slim to none, that this is kind of a waste of time for you. You brush it off, you go to work, and guess who? He passes by your desk, leaves a little note saying, you know, that your bosses, your higher-ups, they're cut from a different cloth.

They just see things in a way you can't. You'd probably tell that person to take a long walk off a short pier, right? Or at the very least, you'd understand how absolutely insane the situation is. People can't just walk up and talk to you like that. But now imagine that same person is you, living rent-free in your head, and here's the catch.

You invited him in. You allowed the negativity and the doubt to live there. See, every time I think about that self-talk, I can't help but wonder in a world of obstacles to navigate and challenges to tackle, Why is it acceptable for your biggest obstacle to be you? Why should you allow or be okay with that? And I'm not saying everything's perfect all the time.

Every thought's pure bliss. But I am posing this question. If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to? If you're not your biggest ally, if you don't respect the person staring back at you in the mirror, how do you expect the world to? Why is our inclination to tense up and refute the negativity from others, but sit back and accept the same nonsense in our own heads? If those words don't support what you're trying to build,

I don't care who they're from, where they come from, why they're there, they don't deserve your time. And it's a simple awareness that they are not truth, but merely your fears and your insecurities trying to stop you from becoming who you might be. My biggest leaps in life, they didn't come from physical milestones or benchmarks. They came from mental shifts, convincing myself, believing myself, trusting in myself. When the road is untravelled, when the story is untold, the positive and the negative are both make-believe.

They are both fairy tales, their options, their theories, and guess what? You get to choose which option, which one will be yours. My favorite quote is, you are always stronger than you think you are. Not so much because it reiterates how high the bar is, but because it reminds me how low we often set it for ourselves when we're not paying attention. How loud that negative voice can be. You know, when I was unemployed, I was writing, I was running out of money, my life changed because I stopped seeing myself as some lost, jobless mess.

And I started seeing myself as one of the greats with a hell of a row. road to travel. See, people always follow through on who they believe themselves to be. I refuse to hear that you might fail and the not good enough and I buckled up for the road ahead and when you believe you can change and know that the road to your goals will be rocky, it will be uncomfortable, but worth it, you are taking that hostile voice and making him or her a spectator, not a decider of fate and yeah, you will lose, you can't win all the time and you will feel stuck, but life's not always smooth sailing, and sure, you'll be mad at yourself, but not every decision is a home run.

But these situations are the byproduct of a journey, and here is my point. Self-belief is being able to differentiate your situation and pointless negative talk about the situation. It's about remembering that you are the gatekeeper of your own mind. When you believe in you, it places your faith, your soul. strength and your determination in the driver's seat. It makes everything else trivial, meaningless. It makes it an option that you are simply not going to choose. It's interesting to think about life as a journey, as in the places you've gone, the twists and turns that

materialize, the people that have entered and left your world, the days that one by one emerged, and retreated. I took a walk this morning. I was thinking about all the steps that brought me to this point. The decisions I made or didn't make, the actions that essentially bridged then and now. It's quite an adventure we're on. And what I realized on this particular walk, it was that throughout my story, some of my biggest shifts, my greatest transformation, even the happiest moments of my life, they were born from quite

Questions that I asked myself. Some incredibly obvious. Questions that maybe I just never asked. Others, well, they required reworking common narratives. But they were all questions that caused me to reflect on my life and my situation. And allow me to be more, to focus on the right things and leave all that other stuff behind. So I figured I'd share a few of those questions today. what they meant for me,

and how hopefully they can help you along the same lines. So question number one, what do I have to lose? I learned early on that our tendency is to want to protect what we have. Routine is safe and safety is survival. Whether it's trying something different, going somewhere new, leaving something behind, very few decisions in life can't be right,

reversed. Very few decisions are forever. Yet we often stay in situations we aren't happy with because we fear the unknown so greatly that it seems not worth it. And this isn't a character flaw, it's instinct. But it can be rewired and reworked because danger isn't in making mistakes. Danger is in never making them and becoming a fraction of what you might have been. So that's question number one, what do you have to lose? Question number two, am I happy? Why is this on the list? Because sometimes I'd forget that it's okay to simply do what makes me happy, what I enjoy. You know, I don't have to do anything. I get to live the way I want to live. I think we too often and let happiness take a back seat while we pursue things

that we feel a sense of obligation to pursue. And I'm not saying happy all the time is a thing. I've talked about that before, I've made videos about it. Life is absolutely peaks and valleys and navigating between them. But I do think happiness should be what we aim for. It should be our foundation and closely tied to our sense of purpose, because while you don't get a second life,

So it's important to make sure you enjoy this one and frequently ask yourself if where you are in life makes you happy. Number three, how can I get there? Now the nuance here, the difference is in the word how at the beginning of the question. Think about that. Think about the difference between can I get there and how can I get there? I learned this in college and it truly changed my perspective. You know, when you start any journey knowing that the destination will be reached, when there is no question, when you're sure of yourself,

the little decisions are no longer about whether to turn back or whether it's worth it. There is no can I, but it's in the how, it's the adjustments. What do I need to change? What have I learned that I can implement? What is everyone else doing or not doing that I can do? It's not whether your goal exists because it does. The question. Number four, what can I remove?

Why? Because our tendency when we feel stuck or overwhelmed or lost or unsure is to look to acquire solutions, right? It's like, what can I add that I don't have? What can I obtain that will fill some void or gap? And sure, you know, maybe sometimes that's the case, but in my experience, far more common is the need to eliminate what doesn't serve you. It's not to add, but to remove.

It's to simplify. Identify what matters and just remove the rest. Right? It's such a nice feeling to have line of sight to a particular goal and a foundation in place that allows you to move towards it. eliminating the activities that are meaningless. And that's, you know, the people that hold you back, the places that don't coincide with who you want to be.

It's not helping you, it's hurting you. So, what can you remove? Number five, have I been scared recently? And those of you who have been listening to me for a while, you know I'm big on this one. And if you haven't been in a situation recently where you've been nervous or uneasy or unsure, then you probably aren't growing. In all of my life-changing moments, they made me uneasy at the time.

They made me question myself. They weren't simple for me. From the beginning of my keynote-speaking career to pushing creative boundaries, to having the courage to grow my business in ways I hadn't before, they were all terrifying in the moment. And they all ended up being essential to the path I'm on. The way I look at it is fear doesn't really get easy, but you can get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable.

You start to see it as just the price you pay for something better, the ticket to get into the show, the beginning of everything good to come. So have you been scared recently? Number six, what is my little hinge? Now a little hinge is one small thing you can do That has a monumental impact on your day For me it's waking up early

It's having coffee, it's reading and getting some time to myself That propels me into the rest of the day like a rocket So the question is what is the little thing in your life That can have a big impact on your day On your energy on your success What is your little hint? Number seven, how can I find a positive in this situation? And this one is tough, but it makes all the difference.

And here is the reality, even the worst experiences, our greatest letdowns, they open the door to something positive, something that can change your life for the better. And it is convincing myself to find it amidst these situations that has contributed to some of my greatest breakthroughs, because you learn. You're forced to adapt. You're forced to become more, and the key is put right in front of you.

The problem is that most of the time we're so consumed by what we lost that we walk right by the positive. COVID's a great example. Incredibly challenging time, difficult for everyone involved, people have lost their jobs, found themselves unsure of what tomorrow holds. But I've always said since day one that if you can find one positive here, One thing you can start or do or change so that when it's all over and you look back, you can say that little period of uncertainty, of hell, of discomfort, well, that is when it all started. That's when I planted the seed for something incredible.

And so my question to you is how can you find the positive in this situation? Number eight, why not me? Anyone who's done something of value has faced long odds. They've had to peer into an abyss, not knowing what the future would hold. They didn't have an external world providing assurances. No, true to the name, they leaned on their internal world, their world within. Self-belief. An understanding that life might knock them around, it might present challenges,

but somewhere in there was the courage to march forward and overcome. See, no one's born special or with all the answers. The way I see it, there are people who had the courage to embrace vulnerability in those who did not. So let go of the thought that there's a monumental difference between you and the people who have what you want. Create a plan, prepare for the long haul, and most importantly believe in yourself to overcome. If they did it, why not you? Question number nine, who matters? Now this is in a lot of ways tied to question for the whole what can I remove question,

but it's so important and it's been so valuable to me that I want to expound upon it. Imagine a hospital bed scenario. Imagine God forbid you're sick and had to spend some time in the hospital. Who, of all the people you know, would make time to visit and sit by your bed scenario? Maybe the list is small, maybe it's not, but at least personally, I have a gut feel for who in my life fits that description. Those are really the people who matter. Those are the people I want to share time with and be there for. Those are opinions I consider.

And this is important because we spend so much time in some cases making life-altering decisions based on the opinions of people who don't meet that description, don't even come close, sometimes strangers. And I'm not advocating being disrespectful towards people you don't know. Nothing along those lines, but what I am reminding you is that there were a few people, a handful in our lives that truly have our best interest at heart. That means something. Don't adjust your life for people not on that list.

It's important to ask yourself who matters. Lastly, number 10, how am I thinking about yet? Now this one's near and dear to my heart, because yesterday can be a tricky thing. You know, we fall into the trap, sometimes without even realizing it, of allowing our past to determine our future. Well, this is how people saw me yesterday. This is how I felt about myself yesterday. This is what my life was like yesterday. So this is who I am. This is who I need to be. But that thinking couldn't be further from the truth.

truth. Right? You are always one decision away from a totally different life, one step away from walking down a new path, from creating something for yourself never seen. So don't ever feel like you can't change or grow into something new because you spent so long getting to where you are now. See, life is malleable. It's a story you decide to tell and as I've always said, you are the captain of your ship. And that wake behind you has no control over where you choose to go next. Don't ever forget that. Your attention should be on where you are now, not where you used to be.

So how are you thinking about yesterday? And most importantly, where will you go from here?