Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - Embrace Being Alone | Best Motivational Speeches For Mindset

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

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Don't you dare reach for your pocket, I told myself. In fact, take that phone and go put it in another room. Shut your internet off, set your devices to do not disturb, and think. Please, think. You are losing yourself to distraction. As Cal Newport puts it, you know, we're in a world that demands more thought, more deep work than ever before,

while we all simultaneously become more and more incapable of that focus. And to me, it feels like more than a chuckle at our outrageous screen time or a self-deprecating joke about how reliant we are on our phones. The dopamine hit, you know, I think it's antithetical overall to what we need, to where we find our purpose, which is a dichotomy that's frustratingly true with so many things. That balance for me to have a digital business that means so much to me that I'm so proud of, but also tiptoeing around that same digital world like it's a hungry lion capable of devouring me.

That's a real feeling. It's water that's foundational for life, but in too large a quantity, will kill. It's the sun that while integral and responsible for this planet as we know it, also has no problem ending, you know, anything that's too openly exposed to its rays, to its heat. There's always a sweet spot between too much and not enough. Right, that happy medium, that intersection is why we're all here. Because when I don't take time to deeply think,

when I lose the big picture, I remain in a cycle of routine. And sometimes that's great, right? Morning routine is great. I don't really have to think about it. I'm programmed. Things like driving a car, as Du Higg explains in the power of habit, your foot stepping on the gas. It's involuntary, and thank God for that.

But one must be able to step outside that loop and ask the big picture questions. We have to make time to at least roughly chart the course. And it'll change. Life will present its obstacles, but we'll have at least parsed out what matters and what doesn't. When life is all habit and reflex, when you've lost the ability to examine the self, because one minute alone with your thoughts is agonizing, well, you won't be able to see past. the surface of who you are and what you're capable of.

I want to be clear here, this is not me complaining about perhaps the most prosperous society ever to exist. This is me saying, you know, there are some dangers that we way too easily overlook. That when you outsource your thinking, you outsource your future. And it's not hard to fall into that trap. I just referenced the book Deep Work a few minutes ago. I think it's one of the most important books someone can read in this day and age. You know, Cal Newport talking about separating ourselves from distraction.

I remember the day I first listened to that book, I was sick, so I wasn't on my usual run. I was walking, and because of that, I felt this urge to, as the book was playing, to reach into my pocket and check for notifications. And it really was eye-opening. It's like we are scared to completely immerse ourselves in solitude. But solitude is where we uncover so much. Silence is where we hear what our souls have to say. It's where we understand who we are.

My favorite Joseph Campbell quote, The Cave You Fear holds the treasure you seek. And man, I hate to say it, but I think being alone, even for a short period of time, is that monster lurking in the cave? You know, the one we're scared to confront, even though it's what we need. Solitude is the demon we are consistently masking

in a constant influx of media and small talk and DMs and emails. You know, that stuff has its value, but it's not real. In the sense that I find it disconnected from purpose, So here's something that I've been doing and you know I would suggest that you give it a try. It's been certainly helpful in my life and start small even if it's 15 minutes but take a walk by yourself. No phone and it's challenging at first because you know you want to be consuming something even if it's you know educational valuable still right no phone solitude think about life. Think about who you are.

Think about what you've always wanted and where your current reality aligns. Think about how much you have and how lucky you are. Think about any or all of these things, but think. Let your mind go where amidst the push and pull of life, you don't often let it wander. For example, some thoughts from my walk today,

some of it random sporadic noise, Some of it more valuable than others, but all of it valuable because the process in its entirety is valuable. You know, I spend some time thinking about the week ahead, the things I'm excited about and how to prepare for them, and realize one of them I didn't want to do. I then had that debate with myself, well, do I not want to do it because it doesn't align with my goals or because it makes me uncomfortable? Came to the conclusion that I think it's the latter, so it's staying in my schedule, but I'll reassess. I thought about Florida. I consistently think about how lucky I am to be down here

after living in so many cold places. It's just such a beautiful environment and, you know, one that I don't take for granted. I thought about a statement I just heard from a professional athlete after his surgery, talking about how hard it was on him, but that he would rise from the ashes

and he would have the best year of his life. And, you know, my mind went to, one of the most important rules of leadership that it's not about you or your rise or fall, right? To lead is to make it about the team, about the overall goal, and how grateful I was to come across that video, to see that and really dissect it. You know, sometimes the best ways we learn is by seeing what not to do, right? And I'll take that with me.

I'll take that understanding with me on my own journey. Last thing I remember, I thought about some of the books I've been consuming. I've taken in an insane amount of books over the years, but I practically stopped reading physical books, right? And now I consume mostly unaudible or other audiobook methods made me wonder whether the value is equivalent. How much that varies from person to person, maybe something to research later, right? That's all I remember as I sit here now, but the point is, you know, this is stuff that if I don't immerse myself in solid, and break through the barrier of boredom, I don't get to. You know, and maybe you go through a week where you don't find much.

But as the saying goes, right, one idea, one concept, one epiphany can truly change the dynamic of your life. It could change everything. Right? There are answers just beyond the realm of distraction we operate in. Some of them pertain to trivialities, like the audiobooks in the cold front. cold front, some of them pertain to your goals and your development, who you are, where you're going, and how you'll get there. As Newport says, to simply wait and be bored has become a novel experience in modern life. And while his emphasis and focus is primarily on work and creating an environment to be productive, I want to suggest that it's not only our work that needs

saving, but ourselves. We can't lose touch with what matters most. We can't be able to be a lot of become so shallow in our thoughts and our actions that the beauty remains buried away. There is something in you that's untapped, unfinished, raw talent or desire. There are pieces of you that need to be assembled. And if left alone, will wither away, unremarkably, quietly, and probably without your noticing. So my ad, is that you think of this as more than me cheering on long walks. It's not about the walks, right? It's about time alone with yourself and what that opens up for you.

It's about recognizing the spaces we need to carve out from the outside world so that when we re-enter the outside world, we know who we are. We understand where we're headed. We don't go where the wind blows. We are able, as the saying goes, to adjust our sails to get to our destination. All you need is more time with you. When I was younger, I want to say maybe third grade.

I remember reading this poem by Shell Silverstein called Where the Sidewalk Ends. This place where the cement stops and the grass. and the grass begins, an inflection point of source. And I obviously don't remember what we talked about back then, but I certainly remember the book. And a few weeks ago, I happened to be at the airport. I was walking through, and I saw a bookstore and a Shell Silverstein book propped up in the front. And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had that title stuck in my head, right, playing on loop where the sidewalk ends.

Some things just hit you, like that title sounds perfect to me, this larger-than-life, transitionary place. It feels like some sort of graduation. But graduation from what, to what? That's the question. Is it simply checking off the current box before moving on to the next one? Is it the end of a paved, calculated path? and the beginning of something a little less defined, a little more free,

is it the place where you step away from what's expected of you and instead do what you are called to do, what you know when your soul is right? I guess depending on who you are and what you need, it could be any and all of those things. But as I sat 36,000 feet in the air, it kind of dawned on me, not necessarily what

Shell Silverstein wanted the takeaway to be fair, right? I mean, it's a famous poem there's a lot of analysis and writing on this but I'm more interested in the question what do I need personally now, with everything

going on in my life, what would I want that place to be where the sidewalk ends? The more I thought about it, the more I realized it's not a transition I don't think where the sidewalk ends. is where you step out from one place and arrive in another. But I think what's more applicable in this moment is a perspective shift, almost a lifestyle invitation to straddle that line.

Where you have one foot on the cement, right, the stable ground, holding onto that structure we need to maintain healthy lives, to build, to take who we are and effectively share it with the world. And one foot on the grass. unpaved, no parameters, where our childlike curiosity runs rampant and reminds us that life is no standardized test. Right, like if the cement represents the frame, the capsule,

that rocket going to the moon, the grass represents the precious cargo it will be taking into orbit, that substance that must be found. And I think the reason my mind goes here is because in my life I've swayed too far in both directions. You know, I've spent entirely too much time on the sidewalk where I've limited myself, my beliefs in my trajectory. I've abandoned what I wanted to do because I was terrified to stray from what I was supposed to do.

I've let routine kill creativity. I've let plans suffocate freedom and exploration. But I've also spent too much time in the way. entirely in the grass, beyond the structure, dreaming but aiming for no target, free but not grounded. Perhaps at times having worked so hard to tear down the parameters and the structure in my life that I found myself with no foundation to build upon. Right? And I think the deal is sometimes we need more sidewalk than grass, and sometimes we need more grass than sidewalk. There are times in our lives that call for everyone.

exploration, and there are times in our lives where we put our heads down and build. But the critical thing is, we remember that beautiful balance between the structure that's ultimately imperative and the freedom to step beyond it so that we can pull in more life. That when things feel too stiff or constrained, maybe you lean more towards the edge of that unkempt, undefined world. And when you crave structure, when you've been wandering too long, when you want to build something with the pieces of life you've been casually collecting along the way, you lean in towards that foundation, towards that which is both known and dependable, and maybe that's where we leave it. As you navigate each segment of your life, it's knowing that you have your

hand on the dial. The dial that will allow you to be your best at that particular moment in time, something no one knows but you. So think of that spot. What are you going through now and how can you best position yourself to handle it? This awareness is a power, it's a strength. It's not merely passing through that place where the sidewalk ends. But I think it's an opportunity. It's an opportunity to embody it, to adapt and carry on as each new chapter begins. The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself. Of all the people on planet Earth, it's most critical that you believe you. But when you commit, you show up.

When you make plans, you follow through. When you tell yourself you'll do something, you actually do it. Here's what's interesting. Being that this is, I believe the North Star, I'm consistently chasing down this standard, trying to be better and better and better at following through. I clearly think we all should, but keeping promises to yourself is different than keeping promises to others.

When you let other people down, especially those close to you, you feel the social repercussions. And for human beings, negative social repercussions are painful. We care greatly about our reputation. Don't want to let others down. don't want to be known as the person who doesn't show up. And that's incentive enough to push us towards following through with others.

But with yourself, where do the repercussions go? What are the consequences? You tell yourself, today is the day. I'm starting, beginning, trying something new. And then you don't. There's no phone calls. with someone on the other end saying, hey, where were you? Hey, you promised.

Hey, you owed me this. No, when we break promises to ourselves, it seems like the situation, after maybe a second or two of disappointment, just floats away into the ether. It feels as though there is no substantial cost. But I actually think those broken promises stick around. I think we wear them. We feel them.

We see them when we look in the mirror. And sure, maybe there isn't that friend or family member staring us down with disappointment in their eyes. But how we see ourselves changes. Every broken promise to yourself reinforces the idea that not having high standards is okay. Every time we let ourselves down, it's a problem. supports a narrative that being let down is normal, par for the course. If you don't show up for you, it begs the question,

why should others show up for you? Why should others follow through when you wouldn't even do it for yourself? I've always believed that so many facets of life start internally and are projected out. How you see yourself, treat yourself, is the sun around which all that other stuff revolves, right?

Like the world will notice and act accordingly. It will conform to the standards you create for you. So let's work on those standards. Let's make it so there's skin in the game. So that when we break promises to ourselves, say, ah, not today, or, this is good enough for now, that we understand the magnitude of those decisions. because they're not insignificant.

They're crucial. And sometimes we have to highlight the consequences of what we don't do. Sometimes we have to make ourselves truly feel the opportunities we let slip away, as though we did actually hold them in the palms of our hands. There is a price to letting yourself down, and perhaps there's power in quantified. There's an idea that, you know, life isn't really you versus anyone or anything else. It's you versus you.

And just like you would never let a stranger talk down to you or tear you apart, why would it be okay for you to talk that way to yourself? Right? Like if a friend says he's going to meet you for coffee at 7 a.m. every morning and never shows up. In what world would you keep driving there, sitting down, waiting, brushing it off, and rinse, repeat? Of course not. You'd look around and go, this is crazy, I don't deserve this, I'm better than this. Your defenses would kick in, you'd make adjustments.

And just as you shouldn't tolerate it from someone else, shouldn't tolerate it from yourself. Because you're better than that. Growth is a game of one, identifying what's important. Two, creating small steps that move you in that direction. And three, following through on those steps. Right, that's the formula. Being there for yourself when you fall. Hey, get back up, right?

Falling is an indicator of progress, courage, and strength. Being there for yourself when you don't want to. Hey, I know you're tired. I know this doesn't seem fun right now, but you committed and think about how good it's going to feel when you're done. Being there for yourself when you know there's more in you, but that voice in your head is tempting you to pack it all in or call it a day. Hey, it doesn't matter what that voice in your head says.

is no negotiating you already made up your mind. See there's power and simplicity. Find a target aim shoot. And although life is turbulent, there are certainly highs and lows. We are at our best when we decide what's important, initiate the journey, and show up. When I set the alarm clock, it can't be about rationalizing sleep. That be able to be. can't be about X many hours. No, it merely signifies a promise. It cries out, hey, remember what you said right before you closed your eyes last night?

Well, time to bring that to life. So sure, that means be careful of the promises you make to yourself. Don't take them lightly. But once they are etched into the universe, they must be law. And I'm not talking about failure to adapt or try things. or try things. I'm not talking about being stubborn.

I'm talking about the initial follow-through that precedes all that. Will we do what we said we would do? And I'm not emphasizing, you know, making this the standard because life should be some perpetual boot camp, but rather because discipline is freedom. Because when we go to bed at night knowing we set goals and meet them, we see ourselves as winners. People follow through on who they believe themselves to be.

It's an endless feedback loop. You see yourself as a winner. You carry yourself as a winner. You carry yourself as a winner and other people see it. They treat you as such and around and around it goes. So when you feel like skipping or procrastinating or quitting on yourself, remember that it's not just that immediate moment. It's not a little thing.

It's one brushstroke on the mural that is your current reality. It becomes you. And again, you wouldn't let other people talk down to you. So stop doing it to yourself. You wouldn't allow being stood up by others. So stop doing that to yourself. Become the king or queen of your own empire. Rule over yourself like it all matters because it's not.

because it does. To keep the promises you make to yourself is playing off as. It's essentially building a bridge to the outside world so that you may go shape it, as opposed to merely putting up your hands and living at life's mercy. Never forget how much control you have, how powerful you are, and that you don't need to convince others, you need to convince you You need to convince yourself during the highs, the lows, the ups and the downs, the sun and the rain, you need to be there for you. I was listening to Alan Watts the other day.

And he was referencing a Zen parable. And he asked this question I thought was pretty cool. He goes, when a flag is flapping in the wind, what's moving? the flag or the wind. The answer, neither. It's the mind that moves. It's how our minds interpret our experiences that create our realities.

And the reason this reminder is so important to me, the reason I don't believe we could ever hear it enough is because keeping that understanding front and center in our lives tells us how powerful we are. Sure, we often can't control the situation. We all know that. But we can always control what this situation means. Every event is open to interpretation.

And that's what's so incredible. Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to get to the value, especially when our minds want to default to the negative or what's missing or what's lost. But if you're willing to look underneath every occurrence is exactly what you need. And so take, for example, something we can all relate to, losing something that truly mattered, that we found meaningful,

whether it was a person, a job, an activity, a physical impairment, right? When asked, what does this change mean, the mind goes loss. It defaults to, I had it, I loved it, and now it's gone. But underneath that, there's a chance to take the pieces of what remains and go down a new path, to find something just as or even more beautiful. The same loss can mark the beginning of an adventure. Is it ideal at first? No, but it's usually not the ideal that prompts our most important

change. It's life's turbulence that pushes us to seek out something new. And I love taking this little trip down memory lane, right? Because, you know, it's the business ventures that fell apart that caused me to look in the mirror and choose to be more. It's the projects that just didn't end up being that good, right, that allowed me to see this journey as a creative one. Or, hey, some projects hit, some don't, but it's not personal. It's a ride, and what an opportunity. It's the breakups I went through. And while, sure, if you were definitely brutal,

they gifted me with an opportunity to personally level up, to dial in my understanding of what really matters to me. I can think of physical setbacks, monetary obstacles, all these things that hurt in the moment. Now, I'm not sure I could have controlled the initial emotive response, right? the human reaction, but learning to ask, well, how can I get better from this? That's a different question. How can one month from now be amazing because of this situation, regardless of how it feels

in the moment? It's not the flag or the wind that moves. It's my mind. So how will I choose to paint the landscape around me? How will I choose to give meaning to the things that will ultimately comprise my reality? That's power. Now, I've always felt it easy to conflate, like finding value in our lives with being happy all the time. But again, we're emotional creatures, and life can be challenging for all of us.

I don't think it's possible to be happy all the time. That's not the goal. The true victory is in finding gratitude along the way, in pausing and asking, how can I take this seemingly unfavorable result and find a way to win from it? Because guess what? The sad truth is most people don't do that. Most people walk right by that stuff.

Most people chalk up the L's as L's and leave the good stuff behind. If you know there's a win in everything and you ask that your mind look for it, the reality you create will be one much different than someone undergoing the exact same circumstances with their eyes closed. Remember, it's the mind that moves. It's you who writes the script who controls the narrative.

And that's not a burden. That's a gift. It's what makes you more powerful than you could ever imagine. Pressure, as in those burdens we sometimes feel as we navigate life, It's complex. It's powerful. But like all powerful things, also delicate. That same pressure that creates diamonds, and create diamonds, it does.

Well, it can also remind you that in the meantime, you are beneath the surface, buried away amidst that process of creation. In other words, pressure is a beautiful driver because it is, in many ways, a standard of excellence, of more. It pushes us towards a life of abundance like wind at our backs. But see, two things can be true at once. And it's impossible to look at the word more without acknowledging that in order for more to exist, something must be lacking in the present. And there lies the challenge. Pressure gone too far becomes a feeling of inadequacy. The same driver to explore the depths of one's potential can also, if mismanaged,

take them to the spiral of never enough. See, you are a brilliant human being with natural strengths and talents, and while certainly imperfect, we all have something to offer the world. This floating rock is a better place because you are on it. And as we go about figuring out what it all means and how to bring it to life, we have to also understand the nuance. We want to get better every day, not because we lack value. in the present, but because the journey is a remarkable adventure.

Progress is happiness. Humans love and need progress. Growth and expansion and exploration inject meaning into life. They help us manufacture peak moments. And it's taken me a long time to understand that distinction. I want to be more, not because I'm inadequate in the present, but because against all odds I'm here, and what a gift to be able to push that pedal to the floor. To squeeze from life as much beauty as I possibly can.

The pressure doesn't say, because without it, you're less. It says, oh, but what a ride awaits if you're willing to step up and seek it out. I used to get so annoyed when I'd see, like, stories or memes on social media that are anything along the lines of you're special just the way you are, right?

It felt tacky, it's lacking substance. And sometimes, to be honest, it just felt like a lie. But my thoughts on that have changed. I don't think it's a lie. It's just an extreme in one direction. Just like never being good enough as an extreme in the other. Look, you're not perfect just the way you are.

We're all flawed, and we all have room for opportunity. but you're also not void of value until you reach point X, Y, or Z. If we're going to grow, we need to understand why we're growing. My favorite thing about this platform, you know, over the years has been trying to identify the obstacles in my life, understand them to the best of my ability, and then share that, hoping maybe there's a piece or two there that's relatable that you can take value from. But this topic in particular, I've never really felt like I've solved or been able to grasp. This constant weight or pressure I'd consistently feel to do more.

And I know others feel it as well. I talk to them about it consistently. It can be almost suffocating. I do attribute a lot of good to it, right? It helps me get back up. It makes me want to be better, find new ways to share. add value to as many people as I can. When I have my down times, that pressure says, hey, man, you're made for more. Lift your head up and go. I wouldn't be where I am without it. But then

there's also the ugly side, right? Like I mentioned above, the cost of ambition is sometimes the inability to be in the moment. Always reaching for more is the younger brother of never being enough. It can be exhausting. And so what to do, what to do, right? The question that I've been playing in my head. And here's where I am in the present. I think this is an ever-evolving process. But as I mentioned above, I believe the answer is in why. The why is everything. There are no half-toes in life. Life is a collection of get-toes. We're not dipping into life's infinite abundance so that we fill holes within ourselves. No, we're doing it to take in the show, to absorb, so that we can consequently add our verse

to the play of life. As the saying goes, the ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for. And that's where the distinction lies, as far as I'm concerned. where the ship is in the moment doesn't make it more or less beautiful or valuable. But to deprive that ship of open water, to deprive its sails of the wind, well, it just feels like a shame, like something's missing. And so with all that said, here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that as I move towards those distant horizons,

I need to remember that the journey comes with a few understandings. I need to know that at times it will feel exhausting. I need to know that while building you can become so fixated on the plans that sure you'll forget about your progress. I need to know how easily the future can steal from the present. But also, I know that taking in the best life has to offer comes with the price tag and being tired from time to time seems fair. I know that the builder with the plans can ground him or herself by looking over their shoulder every so often and appreciating how far they've come. I know that the future is always out of reach, like that carrot hanging just beyond the grasp of the runner on the treadmill.

But the gratification can be both delayed and current when we're pointed to the right North Star. So I invite you to reimagine the word pressure. Understanding the notion that you've already won the lottery. You're here on earth against all odds with your strength and the greatness that makes you, you. Venturing deeper into life's potential, asking more of the world and from yourself is not to compensate for any. It's not an obligation. It's not even required of you. No, it's an extension of the human soul. The best of life.

The magic all around us, an invitation to live fully. That pressure like water through a channel will flow in the direction you lead it. It's nothing more than your vehicle to distant your process for crafting diamonds with the adversity most would refuse. That pressure doesn't always indicate where it's taking you or even guarantee that its destination will be preferable to where you are now. But it does promise quite the ride. And that, for me, is enough.

What if I fall? The man asks. Looking nervously over the edge. Oh, but my friend, a voice responds back. What if you fly? A little quote heard not too long ago demonstrating our proclivity to maintain, to preserve, to protect, to move away altogether from the risk. for fear that we might lose our grip on the status quo.

Completely forgetting to think about what life could become if things worked out. Forgetting that life is a game of trade-offs. And to fixate on never losing what you have means forfeiting the possibility. It is that simple. To stay is a refusal to go. And we need to constantly reinforce the idea, the truth, that what we aren't doing is a decision. And while we place our energy and efforts on minimizing the falling and the failure, someone else is stepping into it. They're capitalizing on it.

Falling again and again and again until they can fly. Because the danger is not in falling. it's in never taking to the sky. It's becoming only a fraction of the person you are capable of becoming with the required sacrifice and courage. It's an understanding that we're not wrong for initially thinking small, playing to not lose, thinking only to protect, protect, protect. That's how human beings arrive out of the factory, right?

Stock. And you can thank millennia of evolution for that. You're not weak for being scared. You're not less than for shaking when you stand face to face with the adversity of life. Again, this is what being human is. But what we also possess is the ability to understand these default limitations and transform them. To understand being scared of the world around us was incredibly valuable forever ago. Right?

When we roamed around hunting and gathering, it made sense not. to inquire further when there was a shaking in the bushes. It made sense not to rashly run into the cave. It made sense to fear deeply the prospect of being abandoned by your small tribe that was the only reassurance separating you from the vast unknown lurking in the darkness, the wilderness. But anyone listening to this today must also understand that these biological drivers are outdated.

The lions in the bushes are no more. The caves are generally metaphorical, and one's quote unquote tribe should be carefully and methodically chosen. Civilization provides that cushion, and what a luxury. So when life pushes back and it will, and you feel like you're on that ledge, you will want to turn back. Not because you're weak, but because you've forgotten that the voice in your head screaming in fear can't see the upside.

It's blind to the possibility. It only sees downside. It only says, hey, this might bring about discomfort. There are things out there you don't know, foreign entities, possibly adversaries. Why would you even contemplate taking that leap? And that's where you step in and provide reassurance. Yeah, things could go wrong, but the wrong steps are, one, usually reversible,

and two, provide the wisdom that I need. It gives you a chance to inject into the conversation that if things go right, your life changes. That this could be the beginning and that we don't live until the excitement about what life can become if things work out, is greater than the fear of what life would regress into if they didn't. Without upside, there's no hope.

Without hope, there is no purpose. And as Viktor Frankl has said, life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. We're all operating within the same parameters, same playing field. But the difference is, We have different soundtracks, interpretations, and narratives playing behind our eyes. He may see the world collapsing and spend the rest of his life mourning what is gone,

while she may see the same devastation and bring herself to wonder, well, what can I build in its place? What can arise from the wreckage? Same circumstance, different storyline, different result. I often cringe when I hear mindset, misinterpreted as this magical thing that becomes reality the second you close your eyes and make a wish. The law of attraction, as far as I'm concerned, is not magic. I think this whole song and dance is much simpler than that. We act in accordance to the things we believe.

And if you believe you're not good enough, if you believe you're not worthy, if you believe more is out of the question what incentive do you have to change none it's much easier to default to hating the world when that's your perspective but when you can find the discipline even for a moment to pause and ask well what if things got better what if my life could be more that spark has suddenly given you a reason to take another step forward. It's made an argument as to why that discomfort just might be worth it. The magic isn't that you wished for it and so it was. The magic is that you saw it as a possibility and in doing so incentivize yourself

to move towards that outcome. It's hard to gravitate towards something that has not yet been built. It's hard to stand with conviction in defense of a life that hasn't yet materialized. But that, my friends, is the beauty and mystery of life. You don't get what you want until you start living like you already have it. Like you can touch it, taste it, like it's real. So when the journey feels impossible, know that you are on the right track. You're competing against some very formidable adversaries, your very DNA. You're competing against the people around you that don't understand. You're competing against the obstacles that make you question whether that conjured up castle in the air existing only in your head could

ever come to fruition. That is some resistance. But as you step forward into the haze, your single, solitary acts of courage will begin to tell a story, to take shape. The ones make-believe will become tangible. You'll see the pieces coming together, and you'll see yourself as the one capable of assembling them. An architect of sorts, a designer, one with courage and self-belief. The truth is, you will never completely mitigate fear. That will be with you forever. be with you forever. It's par for the course. You just need to remember that the power of purpose,

of meaning, the value of upside and opportunity is greater than that nagging voice of fear. It's not about closing your eyes to who you are or where you've been. There's beauty and all that. It's merely about opening them to all you can become. That was at the Heat Celtics game with my brother a few days ago. And the Celtics at the moment are the best team in basketball, which is fun being the word from Boston originally. And right now the team has a handful of really good players. But one of them, Jason Tatum, has essentially separated himself

as one of the most dominant players in the game. He's a superstar. And as we watched him play from the stands, we were talking about a narrative that I don't hear mentioned a lot. And maybe it is in like basketball circles, but I don't hear much out and about. I think it's incredible. It's the fact that Boston's general manager at the time,

Danny Aange, saw value in Tatum way before everybody else. Now, don't get me wrong, he was always elite. But the Celtics GM saw a superstar potential in Tatum to a much greater extent than everyone else, right? In fact, in the 2017 draft, the Celtics had the first overall pick. And, you know, for those unfamiliar, it's usually pretty obvious how the first handful of picks are going to go, right? The players are all ranked before the draft, and the team with the first pick is going to select the first best player, obviously. The team with the second pick is going to select the second best player. And while it was sort of known that

Tatum was the agreed upon third best player in the draft. But the Celtics didn't want number one and two. Even though the scouts and draft boards and, you know, the talking heads all around the country saw them as better. Right. So here's Danny Aange with that coveted number one overall pick, which in basketball is so valuable. And he's like, I don't care. I want the guy who's projected number three. Right.

So he trades down. He gives Philly his number one. one pick, basically saying, hey, if the guy I want is going to go third anyway, might as well trade away the first pick and get a little extra value and still get Tatum at number three. And that's exactly what they did. And here we are, watching him as one of the best players in the game. And by the way, the guy who went first overall is relatively underperformed, given where he was picked.

The guy who went number two overall, same. has been up and down, constant injury issues. And I look back at how that played out. And I just think, like, the pressure, the weight of having this coveted pick and being like, no, I don't want it, right? The guy that I want is number three, right? Being so confident that you see value where others don't. It's hard to do that with conviction.

You know, so I look at this and sure he made some mistakes, as all GMs do, you can't predict the future. It's a numbers game, right? But the ability to spot value, particularly in places others seem to disregard, is what I see as the difference between excellence and mediocrity. Life is always trying to give us the equivalent of a draft board, right, in some capacity. It's like, here's what's normal. Here's what's projected. Number one, two, and three options are the quote-unquote best options.

For the most part, sure, it's a decent guideline, but it's not enough. It's not enough. We need to train ourselves to be asking, yeah, but where is the move that manifests into that game-changing difference? Where in my life is the move that pushes me over the top, the action that sets me apart? As staying on the basketball theme, one of the most inspiring things I'd ever heard was Kobe in an interview. Talking about the extra value he'd capitalized on throughout the day, being the different

in his career, saying, look, if I get up two hours before everyone else and I get a workout in, not once in a while, but every day, that's the difference. Why? Well, in a week, it's nothing. In a month, it's not much. In six months, it creates a gap. In a year, that's quite the advantage. In five years, you're not even on the same level. In a decade, he is now untouchable to his competition. Yeah, it's just the more. Everyone has the morning, but Kobe sought and recognized it as opportunity as his value. The consensus out there in the world is that the morning is when you ease into your day, right? It doesn't put what you're doing at 6 a.m. high on that metaphorical draft board.

Now, who cares? Well, to Kobe, ah, perfect. There's the value that I can spot, that I can utilize, that most people will not eat. even think about. And in totality, I believe that to be the truth, right? Like, you can do fine simply anticipating and living in and around the value as identified by the majority, by following their blueprint. But to separate, to move from adequate to excellence, you need to find those places where

you can squeeze more out of life. you need to dive deeper into what's around you than, ah, that's what's expected or that's what everyone else is doing. That's what's perceived as valuable. Be your own GM, right? Question the way of things. Not just out in the world, but in your home, in your day-to-day.

Where are the moves that can take you from, I don't know, a six inefficiency to an eight? What ways can you be unconventional? Flip this script to unveil the value you've been walking by for months, years, maybe even your whole life without realizing. There are always pieces around us to be great. And not just get by or survive, but thrive. There are the necessary ingredients to our right and left,

always to astound ourselves. We just have to arrange them in a way that allows us to maximize their value. It's a constant moving of parts, trying again and again, but not settling for a ranking system to life as prescribed by the outside world. There's more if you're willing to find it. There's a quote from Naval Ravacant. He says, the closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside. Found that interesting. I've got an email recently from someone asking for my thoughts about they're being overlooked for a promotion at their work.

They say that they're dedicated, they work hard, they show up and execute. So what is the act of being overlooked mean? Well, like so many things, it's contextual, but let's play with it. What does feedback ever really mean? It means what you decide it does. Here's how I see the act of being overlooked, as this person expresses. Let's look at it as an iceberg, that rejection as a floating block of ice in the Atlantic, and the top, the piece that's exposed and above water, the smaller piece,

is your chance to look around and self-reflect, to ask why, where are the places I could strengthen myself, the gaps I could close, and the space, I could occupy. You know, disappointment, it causes us to self-reflect, and that can be a valuable thing. There are often tangible, quantifiable reasons we didn't hit the mark, and I think that top of the iceberg is our recognition that we have things to do, places to go, and what better a time than now, to start moving in that direction. Now, the part of the iceberg underneath the water, supporting all that, there has to be a foundation of self-belief, of self-trust, not only a hardness and understanding that you are not defined by rejection, but also a certainty that things

will work out, that you might have to stumble, fall, even aimlessly wander for a set period of time. But when your focus is on a particular North Star and you are serious about it, committed to it, you'll find a way. And being overlooked in any capacity is not defining because right now is not an end. You decide where the end is. And there just so happens to be a lot of space between that point and where you stand now. The vast majority of an iceberg exists under the surface, and that's valuable here, because I believe that the differentiator

when it comes to success and failure is how one internalizes the process and their place within it. If you know you're going to succeed, if you are confident in yourself and who you are, then the little wins and losses along the way tend to mean less. Getting overlooked in any capacity is a nice little bit of feedback, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't hold the weight we tend to give it when we're less sure of ourselves and the process.

So let's get back to the quote. The closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside. Well, here, Naval is stating, in one of his podcast episodes that the wiser someone becomes, the more quiet or stoic they become. Referring to the character that I allude to all the time in this podcast, the loudest person at the table, right? Always talking or seeking attention.

Often this character is overcompensating for something. And that's what Naval is, in my opinion, properly stating. But I want to hijack the quote a little bit. Because I think this applies to our own mental chatter as well. When we are sure of ourselves and what we're doing, the internal dialogue is reduced. When we believe ourselves to be correct and in line with our values and our vision, the mind tends to be calmer. And I can use this YouTube channel and podcast as an easy example. I have self-belief when it comes to my ability to do this.

invested years and years and believe that over time it's become a strength of mine. So when that inevitable negative feedback or comment comes in, which happens, right, it's the internet, I take it for what it is. It's the tip of the iceberg. I assess whether there's any value to be extracted. And if there is, I put it in my back pocket. But the point is, I then move on. Because underneath the surface, under that tip of the iceberg, there is such a substantial amount of self-belief and determination in the process that negativity, it means very little, doesn't define me. And that's the point that I aspire to cling to.

And conversely, as counterintuitive as it seems, I think we should be the same way with positive feedback. Like when nice things are said, it makes us feel good and we should be grateful, sure. But the idea is the same. Examine, pocket the feedback, and move on because if we rely too extensively on good feedback for our self-worth and our sense of identity, it's going to be hard to avoid doing the same thing when the other stuff comes in. It's about having a vision and trusting yourself, right? This is not you versus the world. This is you versus you, and we can't forget that. It's a person committed, determined, on fire in their purpose.

Collecting data along the way to something greater. And look, sometimes that data comes in the form of being overlooked. It highlights ways you need to make yourself stronger and better. But sometimes it validates and recognizes is your greatness, the value you're already adding to the world. Either way, you're moving forward because it's who you are. And as long as you tell yourself you're going to win, and those two feet underneath you haven't stopped moving,

you're putting yourself in position to capitalize on all the opportunity life has to provide. You are going to see the compounding of all those steps you took. the ones you took when it hurt and the ones you took when it didn't. When you were sure and when you weren't, when you had all the energy in the world and when you barely got yourself through. All those times, they mean something.

And it's the ability and desire to move forward regardless that becomes the determining factor. If you know that, the mind can be at peace. Life is happening for you, not to you. The obstacles become much-needed information and the victories further contribute to your momentum. It's all moving you closer to where you need to be. There's a saying by Steve Martin, he says,

be so good they can't ignore you. And that's not a point, it's a process, an evolution. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes self-belief. But trusting that mountaintop you're chasing also comes with a great sense of security. That this epic adventure is yours and yours alone. It comes with discovery, growth, joy, sadness, and everything in between. but it is yours. And if you sign that dotted line,

it doesn't matter if you are overlooked in some capacity. No person or external event can take away what you know in your soul to be true.