Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero - EMBRACE BEING ALONE | Powerful Motivational Speech

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

"Clarity about what matters provides clarity about what does not" - Cal Newport

Don't you dare reach for your pocket, I told myself. In fact, take that phone and go put it in another room. Shut your internet off, set your devices to do not disturb and think. Please, think. You are losing yourself to distraction. As Cal Newport puts it, you know, we're at, in a world that demands more thought, more deep work than ever before, while we all simultaneously become more and more incapable of that focus.

And to me, it feels like more than a chuckle at our outrageous screen time or a self-deprecating joke about how reliant we are on our phones. The dopamine hit, you know, I think it's antithetical overall to what we need. to where we find our purpose, which is a dichotomy that's frustratingly true with so many things. That balance for me to have a digital business that means so much to me that I'm so proud of, but also tiptoeing around that same digital world like it's a hungry lion capable of devouring me. That's a real feeling. It's water that's foundational for life, but in too large a quantity,

kill. It's the sun that, while integral and responsible for this planet as we know it, also has no problem ending, you know, anything that's too openly exposed to its rays, to its heat. There's always a sweet spot between too much and not enough. Like that happy medium, that intersection is why we're all here. Because when I don't take time too deeply think, think. When I lose the big picture, I remain in a cycle of routine. And sometimes that's great, right? Morning routine is great. I don't really have to think about it. I'm programmed. Things like driving a car, as Deweig explains in the power of habit, your foot stepping on the gas. It's involuntary. And thank God for that. But one must be able to step outside that loop and ask the big picture

questions. We have to make time to at least roughly chart the course. And it'll change. Life will present its obstacles, but we'll have at least parsed out what matters and what doesn't. When life is all habit and reflex, when you've lost the ability to examine the self, because one minute alone with your thoughts is agonizing, well, you won't be able to see. see past the surface of who you are and what you're capable of. I want to be clear here, this is not me complaining about perhaps the most prosperous society ever to exist. This is me saying, you know, there are some dangers that we way too easily overlook.

That when you outsource your thinking, you outsource your future. And it's not hard to fall into that trap. I just referenced the book Deep Work a few minutes ago. I think it's one of the most important books someone can read in this day and age. You know, Cal Newport talking about separating ourselves from distraction. I remember the day I first listened to that book, I was sick, so I wasn't on my usual run. I was walking, and because of that, I felt this urge to, as the book was playing, to reach into my pocket and check for notifications.

And it really was eye-opening. It's like we are scared to completely immerse ourselves in solitude. But solitude is where we uncover so much. Silence is where we hear what our souls have to say. It's where we understand who we are. My favorite Joseph Campbell quote, The cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. And man, I hate to say it,

but I think being alone, even for a short period of time, is that monster lurking in the cave? You know, the one we're scared to confront, even though it's what we need. Solitude is the demon we are consistently masking in a constant influx of media and small talk and DMs and emails. You know, that stuff has its value, but it's not real. In the sense that I find it disconnected from purpose,

So here's something that I've been doing, and I would suggest that you give it a try. It's been certainly helpful in my life. And start small, even if it's 15 minutes, but take a walk by yourself. No phone. And it's challenging at first because, you know, you want to be consuming something. Even if it's, you know, educational, valuable, still, right? No phone. Solitude.

Think about life. Think about who you are. Think about what you've always wanted and where your current reality aligns. Think about how much you have and how lucky you are. Think about any or all of these things, but think. Let your mind go where amidst the push and pull of life,

you don't often let it wander. For example, some thoughts from my walk today, some of it random sporadic noise, some of it more valuable than others, but all of it valuable, because the process in its entirety is valuable. You know, I spend some time thinking about the week ahead, the things I'm excited about and how to prepare for them, and realize one of them I didn't want to do.

I then had that debate with myself, well, do I not want to do it because it doesn't align with my goals or because it makes me uncomfortable? Came to the conclusion that I think it's the latter, so it's staying in my schedule, but I'll reassess. I thought about Florida. I consistently think about how lucky I am to be down here after living in so many cold places.

It's just such a beautiful environment and, you know, one that I don't take for granted. I thought about a statement I just heard from a professional athlete after his surgery, talking about how hard it was on him, but that he would rise from the ashes and he would have the best year of his life.

And, you know, my mind went to, one of the most important rules of leadership that it's not about you or your rise or fall, right? To lead is to make it about the team, about the overall goal and how grateful I was to come across that video, to see that and really dissect it. You know, sometimes the best ways we learn is by seeing what not to do, right? And I'll take that with me. I'll take that understanding with me on my own journey.

Last thing I remember, I thought about some of the books I've been consuming. I've taken in an insane amount of books over the years. But I practically stopped reading physical books, right? And now I consume mostly unaudible or other audiobook methods made me wonder whether the value is equivalent. How much that varies from person to person, maybe something to research later, right? That's all I remember as I sit here now.

But the point is, you know, this is stuff that if I don't immerse myself in solid, and break through the barrier of boredom, I don't get to. You know, and maybe you go through a week where you don't find much. But as the saying goes, right, one idea, one concept, one epiphany can truly change the dynamic of your life. It could change everything. Right? There are answers just beyond the realm of distraction we operate in. Some of them pertain to trivialities, like the audiobooks in the cold front. cold front, some of them pertain to your goals and your development, who you are, where you're

going, and how you'll get there. As Newport says, to simply wait and be bored has become a novel experience in modern life. And while his emphasis and focus is primarily on work in creating an environment to be productive, I want to suggest that it's not only our work that needs saving, but ourselves. We can't lose touch with what matters most. We can't become so shallow in our thoughts and our actions that the beauty remains buried away. There is something in you that's untapped, unfinished, raw talent or desire. There are pieces of you that need to be assembled. And if left alone, will wither away, unremarkably, quietly, and probably without your noticing.

So my ask is that you think of this as more than me cheering on long walks. It's not about the walks, right? It's about time alone with yourself and what that opens up for you. It's about recognizing the spaces we need to carve out from the outside world. So that when we re-enter the outside world, we know who we are. where we're headed. We don't go where the wind blows. We are able, as the saying goes, to adjust our sails to get to our destination.

All you need is more time with you.